sexshopshenanigans

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#grapefruit #I am of the firm opinion that my lunch should not negate my meds

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#binging with babbish really stands out as this for me #I used to recommend him all the time #and then he just kept getting more and more annoying to me

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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

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Saw this on a door at work.

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'The Kal’ut Madonna' by Linda Infante-Lyons

“The painting was inspired by my Alutiiq family and the women who worked the salmon canneries in my mother’s native village of Karluk. Kal’ut is the Alutiiq name for Karluk, a once thriving Alutiiq/Sugpiaq village with an abundant salmon run on the Karluk River. My mother was born in Karluk and my great grandmother and grandmother spent a large portion of their lives there. As Alaska came under Russian rule, my ancestors processed fish for a wider Russian population. My great grandmother married an Estonian immigrant and only spoke Russian and Alutiiq. She died at a young age from tuberculosis. This painting is dedicated to my Alutiiq ancestors, my family from Karluk and the sacred salmon that sustained them for over 4,000 years.”

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Personality test, is 80f/26c too hot for you?

#it’s not but I can understand why it is for some people #because the air is always very damp here so whenever it gets above like 23 degrees Celsius the air literally feels heavy on your skin #and it’s hard to cool off and nobody’s houses are built for temps above like 21*C #now I personally love it when it is ungodly warm and humid #I enjoy the sluggishness of movement and the way the air is very gently trying to drown you #it is a distinctly uncomfortable environment at that temperature but it is a form of discomfort that I very much enjoy #like after a big family supper when everyone ate too much #or after a really good concert that you probably needed ear protection for and everything sounds slightly muffled for the next day or two #or when it’s a really really cold night and the tip of your nose outside your blanket is a lil frosty #and you aren’t warm yet because your blankets haven’t quite caught up to your body temp so you’re still shivering all bundled in bed #but being bundled in blankets when you’re cold isn’t just cozy when you warm up it is an inherently cozy state #being too hot is like that #it’s not COMFORTABLE but it is NICE and I LIKE IT

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truly the only point of those cheap dropshipping sites is so I can type "earrings for men" into them at 3am and then go "🤔 hmm..." at all the pictures

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I'm genuinely curious

I had this idea because I realized I definitely had a year where everything bad seemed to happen and I'd call it my worst, but I don't know if other people have years like this.

#wtf is a year #doesn’t everyone’s mundanities and horrors blend seamlessly together in a flow of Before and Now

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at first glance i thought his legs were his big naturals 👀

say a little prayer

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no third option you have to pick one, reblog after voting <3

#mango is the best fruit BUT watermelon is the best ‘summer’ fruit #🥭 is superior in taste but 🍉 has stronger marks in portability refreshability sharability and brand recognition #polls #food

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When I’m out and my phone dips below 25% I start sending my sibling screenshots of the increasingly depleted battery percentage. At no point do I change my phone usage or attempt to find a charger. I will gladly die alone stranded in a strange city with no way to get help if it means I get to inflict secondhand phone anxiety on my sibling while I’m at it.

If I’m out / don’t have access to a charger and my phone dips below 25% I have to treat it like five nights at freddy I need to conserve this shif or im getting shoved into a murder fursuit

#my sibling will not leave the house if their phone has less than a 60% charge #my cavalier disregard for battery life absolutely traumatizes them and I live for it

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“I thought this city didn’t have any gods.”

The pigeon grinned a beak full of dog’s teeth. “Ha. They say there aren’t. They even kept most of them out for a while.”

“How did you make it?”

“By being smart. By hiding.”

She gave the one-legged, feral feathered thing a sideways look. “As a pigeon?”

“Sometimes,” said the pigeon. “Sometimes I’m graffiti on a wall. Sometimes I’m a coin dropped in a beggar’s hand. I am neon at night, the rain in the light. I am the song the busker sings. I listen to the prayers of those who come to the city with big dreams.”

“And in return?”

It grinned again. Steam rolled off its feathers, smelling of cigarettes. “I eat their despair.”

“That’s cruel.”

It moved its wings in something like a shrug. “That’s the big city for you.”

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I just make a new side blog with just the post I want to hang on to and find again. You can only make like ten new side blogs a day tho so there are only so many important posts you can save at once.

So I’ve been slowly learning more about makeup techniques over the last couple years and some things have been hit or miss but this feels like the FIRST video that spoke to me and actually taught me shit I haven’t picked up elsewhere. The face contouring (including hitting the forehead to make it look smaller) spoke to me and THE TIP ABOUT THE FUCKING CHAPSTICK EYESHADOW instead of traditional lipstick is a GAME CHANGER OMG

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Cat House Palooza