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saundraswriting · 8 months
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Saundra's Masterlist
Hello! My name is Saundra! I am a twenty-something confused adult trying to find her way in the world. I can be found here or my main blog @saundrasays. Please don't hesitate to reach out and say hello!
I also have a twitter, if you would like to come say hello!
This is my main Masterlist. I have all my works linked to this post. Please take a look and let me know what you think! I have it divided into subcategories for easy navigation!
Anime Masterlist
Marvel Masterlist
Asian Drama Masterlist
TV Show Masterlist
Movie Masterlist
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saundraswriting · 2 years
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I put some new stuff on the Anime side of things, and added my twitter if you want to say hi.
Saundra's Masterlist
Hello! My name is Saundra! I am a twenty-something confused adult trying to find her way in the world. I can be found here or my main blog @saundrasays. Please don't hesitate to reach out and say hello!
I also have a twitter, if you would like to come say hello!
This is my main Masterlist. I have all my works linked to this post. Please take a look and let me know what you think! I have it divided into subcategories for easy navigation!
Anime Masterlist
Marvel Masterlist
Asian Drama Masterlist
TV Show Masterlist
Movie Masterlist
14 notes · View notes
saundraswriting · 2 years
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To Change One's Perception
SUMMARY: They graduated. Reki found his niche, making skateboards and working at dope sketch attending classes here and there. Langa was pulled almost instantly into the pro-skateboarder world. Unable to bear the thought of Reki, unclaimed and alone, Langa had been scent-marking him for months. Reki oblivious as always, let the scent marking happen. believing it to be platonic, unable to think otherwise. However, when a new Alpha at S gets too close to the Omega Langa has been marking as his, Reki has to face the music. His best friend is in love with him, and he is in love with his best friend.
WARNINGS: Omegaverse, aged-up characters, jealousy, obliviousness, possessive behavior
NOTES: This was for the Renga Secret Valentine's Day Exchange.
Ao3 // Materlist // Twitter
Them attending their closing ceremony, diplomas in hand, was nothing short of a miracle. Kaoru and Miya suffered just as much as the students they were tutoring to make it happen. Reki and Langa had made it and together with their class were sitting for the final time together waiting for the announcement to call them to gather for the last closing ceremony of their high school years. They were reminiscing and taking photos and talking of their futures.
"Hasegawa-kun, you already have sponsors for pro-skateboarding? and snowboarding?" A girl asked. Langa was just as bad with names as when he came.
"Um. Yes, Reki taught me how to skateboard. I was on my way to being a pro snowboarder before I had to move." Langa answered. Cananda and his dad were still sore subjects but he had gotten more comfortable speaking of them as time when on and he grew closer with his classmates.
"Really? That is amazing. When you go pro, will Reki-kun be your coach?" A boy-a friend of Reki's-asked.
"I-"Langa started.
"No. I may have taught his how to stand on a board but he has all the talent." Reki laughed coming up on Langa's right.
Langa smiled at him, raising a hand to ruffle his hair. Reki melted at the touch, even more so when Langa dug his fingers in rubbing at his scalp. Reki made a soft trilling noise from pleasure and Langa felt hot pride flare. He loved hearing the noises Reki made just for him.
"Be nice." Langa threatened, not amused by the self-depreciative tone. "You don't want another lecture from Kaoru."
Reki shivered slightly. "No. I don't." Kaoru was an authoritative Omega and when he started lecturing, he didn't stop until he believed his point to be made. Reki being more sensitive to people's tones and body language-either from his second gender of ADHD Langa wasn't sure-often cried during of after the lectures. Reki's self-esteem issues had been the subject of many conversations with their Skate Gang.
"Okay, enough, I am going to just come out and ask." Another classmate broke their intimate bubble. "Think you can settle a bet for us?"
Reki blinked at the sudden attention of their entire class. He knew his anxious smell of rotten oranges was building. Langa reached out, snagging the front of Reki's uniform, pulling him between his legs. Reki, standing, buried his nose in Langa's hair-the smell of tea tree oil shampoo and mint soothing him as his normal scent of cedar and vanilla returned. Langa tightened his grip after a few beats, Reki trying to pull away.
"What is the bet?" Langa bit out. His tone just shy of a growl, a warning to all in the room.
"We wanted to know when you started dating?" The boy's voice shook, heeding the warning but continuing on.
"Yeah! Who confessed first?" A girl chimed in. Suddenly the room was full of people asking questions. Langa felt Reki tense up in his arms, Scent souring again even worse. Langa felt his nose wrinkle, smell lingering on his tongue, leaving a sour taste. Langa tried to calm down, to push out calming pheromones, but Reki's panic made it difficult.
"We aren't dating." Langa spit out around his fangs. He couldn't help but get angry at their classmates. Reki was the most important person in his life, and they were stressing him out, badly. The others stepped back, Langa's angry alpha pheromones too strong for most of the class to tolerate giving them space.
"Reki. Come on, Reki. They were just teasing. Just like Miya and Koyomi and Hiromi." Langa tried to soothe. "You're fine. I'm fine." Langa rubbed his back, using the scent glands on his wrists to spread his scent over Reki's clothes and hair. Langa tried to keep his hands firm and repetitive. Reki took a few deep breathes.
"Langa." Reki whimpered. Langa hummed so deep it was almost a purr. His mint scent mixing with Reki's cedar and vanilla calming his hindbrain. Reki rested more of his weight on Langa, who just took it. He would take anything Reki would give him.
"We aren't dating. We're just..."Langa trailed off, getting understanding looks from the couple of already courting pairs.
"Come on. Let's give them a few minutes. We can line up. They'll be calling us to the ceremony soon." The class rep, a lovely omega girl began pushing the others towards the door, shooting a wink at Langa.
"Wait!" Reki's voice was shaking a bit still but he turned around to face his class, his friends. "Thank you all for a great year. To some of you, thank you for three great years. We made many memories and I'll think back on both them and our time together fondly, for the rest of my life. Stay true to who you are and I wish you all the very best." REki beamed and bowed. Reki's scent was growing lighter and more flowery as he spoke. The class answered in kind, pulling each other into a massive hug, scent marking each other lightly for the last time.
"Will the third year classes come to the auditorium. We are begining the closing ceremony." The announcement seemed to only heighten the emotions they were all feeling as Langa saw several students burst into tears on their way to the ceremony.
Langa took Reki's shaking hands. "We aren't alone. Isn't that what Kojiro taught you? I'm right here with you. And I know it's scary to look at right now, but in one year or five years even tomorrow, our future becomes our present. Are you ready?" Langa pulled Reki in for a hug, lips pressed to his headband.
"If I'm with you, I'm ready for anything and everything. Together, infinitely." Reki agreed. He pulled his hand away to do their dap before turning to follow their class, the future looking a little less lonely, a little less scary because of the warmth he felt next to him.
Months later, REki and Langa were surviving. They were making rent, they were making edible foods, the occasionally hung out at S with the whole gang-ADAM and Snake included for Langa had seemed to remind the two of them why they skated in the first place. Reki still helped at Dope Sketch, making skateboards for anyone in any style, and teaching lessons. Langa was getting national acclaim for his skateboarding with Miya as well.
He traveled a few times a month for sponsorships and training (Oka and Kaoru helping with the legal side of things, with Nanako's permission) and the separation got easier each time. The had a routine down when Langa had to leave, to make sure Reki was going to be okay. Their goodbyes could be 30-60 minutes, mostly consisting of Langa scenting Reki and ensuring he would manage without him and Reki trying to soothe Langa's anxiety.
"Langa, I'll be just fine. You're going to be gone for three days. Kojiro already said he would make me dinner while you were gone since you won that beef. I won't even leave the house. I have to work on this commission." Reki rubbed his open palms up and down Langa's defined arms, silently enjoying the feel of his skin while scenting him subtlety.
"I know. I know. Doesn't mean I have to like leaving you. You're-" Langa cut himself off. 'You're my omega.'He almost said. He had his nose tucked into the crook of Reki's neck, huffing heavily, trying not to drool and lick his saliva into Reki's scent glands. Langa had gotten more and more possessive as time went on, with each parting.
"Langa. give me your shirt. Go put on a different one." Reki demanded. 'Maybe if I wear his shirt, he'll be more comfortable leaving.'Langa quickly changed, and Reki followed suit.
"Don't take it off until I get back. Three days." Lang pulled Reki back into a hug, marveling at how well their scents mingled. "When I get back, we'll go to S and see everyone. I know your suppressants trigger your yearly heat round now. I want to be ready."
"Langa, the suppressant regime I am on regulate me to one very mild heat a year. We don't need to gather supplies." Reki protested.
"Reki, I have now seen two of your heats. You get very clingy. If I try to leave for any reason, you get upset, Besides, any reason to have an extended cuddle session in a nest you make for us pleases me." Langa looked at his cell phone as it chimed. "I really have to go. Please be careful. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything." Langa pulled Reki close, pressing a kiss to his temple and then cheek. "Love ya, see you later."
"Love ya. See you soon. Be careful." Reki pressed his lips to the hinge of Langa's jaw, as far as he could reach. Reki somehow resisted the urge to latch on, to leave a hickey or a bite. 'Langa isn't the only one possessive apparently.' Reki chalked it up to his upcoming heat. Langa sighed at the contact before forcing himself out the door, unable to turn around and look at Reki standing alone and silent in the entryway.
Three days later, Reki had cleaned the whole apartment, a niggling feeling hovering in his hindbrain. He had finished his commission but ignored Kojiro's food, his omega instincts not allowing him to eat it. Reki felt guilty squandering Kojiro's generosity. He had scrubbed the walls and steamed the furniture and fluffed the pillows. He had pulled his and Langa' futons onto the living room floor, fussing with clothes and blankets and a few of the plushies they owned. 'I need to clean the bathroom again. I should-' Reki's thoughts were cut off by the sound of the door unlocking.
"Langa!" Reki raced off to meet him at the door, wanting to help him with his bags. "Welcome home!"
"Reki! I'm back!" Langa dropped his bags, holding his arms open. Reki jumped wrapping arms and legs around him like a human octopus. "You're still wearing the shirt?" Langa snuffled into Reki's hair line, the smell of Reki, sweat, tee tree oil filling his nose. He felt his mouth water. He purred into Reki's ear.
"You told me to. Was I good?" Reki preened at the attention and fresh dose of Langa's scent.
"Yeah, you were so good. You listened so well." Langa hugged him back. 'Did he lose weight? Kojiro told me he had dropped off meals.' Langa thought. He wanted to ask but didn't want to squash Reki's happiness yet. "What did you do while I was gone? I missed you so much. I was lonely without you." Langa could taste Reki's happy scent on his tongue from the praise. While Reki was affectionate upon his returns, he wasn't this affectionate. 'He must be in pre-heat. I think it will be a little stronger this time around.'Langa thought.
Reki let go, helping Langa with his bags. "I did my commission. I cleaned the apartment. I even made my nest. I wanted to be ready from when we got back from S tonight." REki seemed to hesitate. "I know I am in pre-heat, but I really want to go. We haven't seen the others in a week or so."
"I think we'll be okay. Let me get settled. We both need to clean up, and then we can go. only if you promise me you won't skate. And stay by my side the entire night." Langa said. Reki beamed and wiggled in place in excitement.
When the two of them walked through the gate, flashing their pins, the others were already there. Mya was the first to greet them, unaware of Reki's scent sweetening. When Hiromi came up, he wore a sour face. Since mating with Oka he found most if not all scents unappealing. Kojiro and Kaoru weren't mated but seemed to Langa and Reki in a decade-old courting ritual.
"Langa! What are the two of you doing here?" Kojiro hurried over. Kaoru was greeting Reki in a ruse to determine his alert level.
"He is the early stages of pre-heat. He will be fine. I won't let anyone touch him." Langa was staring at Reki who was being coddled by Kaoru.
"I don't think this will be as easy as a heat as usual. Langa. Listen to me. You live together. He is surrounded by you almost always." Kojiro tried to explain. "Haven't you noticed his scent getting stronger? Sweeter? Not just recently. You've been scent marking him so often and so intensely, I think he thinks you want to start courting. You need to make a decision, and soon Langa. You have to talk to him."
"Kojiro, I made that decision two years ago. Reki's scent has only been the most appealing. I didn't plan on losing him. I still don't. He is mine. I was going to claim him, there was never a doubt, for me. The only way I stop is Reki asking." Langa growled out possessively. Kojiro raised an eyebrow.
"Alright, Langa. You do it your way. You know we'll support you. They two of you are a good match. Now come on, I think someone is gonna try to beef with Cherry." Kojiro clapped Langa on his shoulder, a fond proud expression on his face.
Reki stepped up to Langa, looking a little sheepish. "Kaoru told me I am not to leave your side all night. He thinks it is too dangerous."
"I agree. Then we need to have a nice long chat. I have something to tell you." Langa pulled Reki close, wrapping an arm around Reki's shoulders, unsettled at the eyes on Reki's bare neck.
"Langa, thank you." Reki said shifting closer. Langa had to watch where he stepped to avoid Reki's feet. He hummed to show he was listening. " You're the best. You take care of me, whenever I need it. You make sure I constantly smell like you, so other Alphas don't bother me. You make sure I am fed or warm or in bed when I'm tired. You make sure I don't push myself too hard. I just want you to know I am glad you're...Here." Reki reached up to squeeze Langa's hand on his shoulder. 'That wasn't what I wanted to say. Why can't I tell him that I am glad he is mine?' Reki thought. 'He is going to leave soon. That is what he wants to tell me. I know it. Taking care of me as much as he does it too taxing with all his training and sponsorships.'
Langa could see Reki's face fall. His scent was turning rotten, but his pre-heat scent was smothering it. He went to soothe Reki but was interrupted by Miya. "Langa, someone wants to beef with you!" He was followed by two dudes both alphas with clashing scents. They put Langa on edge immediately. Reki whined high in his throat as they approached. Langa bit back a growl not unable to prevent his fangs from dropping.
"I'm not accepting any beefs to-" Langa tried to refuse.
"I want to beef with you. Terms are winner takes home the unclaimed omega at your side." The one said. Miya froze, guilt flashing across his face.
"Oh hell no!" Langa growled deep and loud, filling the air like thunder. The surrounding crowd froze. "You will not take him. He is mine. My Omega." Kojiro reached the group in time to prevent Langa from lunging. Kaoru pulled Reki into a shoulder and Miya the other one, soothing the both of them. "You don't get to touch him. Or look at him. How dare you!" Langa kept thrashing against Kojiro's grip, but he held fast. The noise brought the attention of the capmen, several came to escort the offending alphas away. Once they were gone, Reki broke free and dove for Langa's chest.
"Reki. Reki. Reki." Langa kept murmuring his name. He wrapped him tight into his arms, breathing shakily as Reki trembled in his arms.
"Langa. Do you mean that?" Reki's voice was muffled by Langa's shirts.
"What did you say?" Langa was nose blind and shaken. He only knew that he had to protect Reki, his omega. He pulled Reki's headband off, ducking his head to lick Reki's temples and behind his ear and his neck, covering him in his scent, half feral with the need to mark, claim in some way.
"Home. I want to go home." Reki decided last minute he would wait until they got home for that conversation. Right now, he wanted coddled, comforted and safe.
"Sure thing. I got you, Reki. I told you I would protect you." Langa said. "Everything is fine. Let's go home."
"Alpha, thank you. You were amazing." Reki spoke softly into Langa's ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek in thanks. Langa melted at the contact.
"Come on. We'll take you home." Kaoru offered. Kojiro nodded in agreement. Hiromi offered to take Miya home.
The ride home was tense and silent. Reki was perched on Langa's lap both too focused on calming down the other with touches and noises. Reki was cooing and trilling while Langa was purring and occasionally growling when he remembered the two alphas. When they got dropped off Kojiro gave Langa a hug. "You did very well, young alpha. You protected what was yours. You did good. Now, keep your head on straight. Don't let those instinct take over."
"Reki, are you sure you are alright? I can stay if you wish?" Kaoru was soft and gentle. At Reki's refusal, he sighed. "Very well. Remember Reki, you have the right to say no." At Reki's confused look he shook his head. "Nevermind. Don't back down. I know you've been worried, but you won't know unless you ask." With a pat, Kaoru got back in the car and they left.
Reki followed Langa into the apartment, that was clean and smelled like them. It did wonders at calming them both down. "Reki, can we take a shower and get changed. I don't want to leave you alone." Reki was nodding before Langa even finished. The idea of being apart after what happened making him tremble. They entered the bathroom, Langa setting up the shower and gently stripping Reki. "Reki, please listen to me." Langa took a deep breath. "I have been in love with you since I met you. The instant you ollied over me, I was head over heels. You did so much for me, helped me get over my dad dying and having to move." Langa rinsed Reki's hair. "I have been wanting to claim you as my omega for almost as long.
"Langa-" Reki tried. but was cut off.
"Reki, I was angry and possessive and jealous, but I didn't lie. You are mine. If you accept me. I hate the idea of people thinking they have even a microscopic chance with you but even more I hate the idea of me being alone again, without you." Langa soaped up a cloth with his body wash, unable to resist the temptation of combining their scents.
"Langa. You are a professional skateboarder, on the road to being on the national team. You could have anyone-"Reki cut himself off at Langa's low growl. "You really want me? Langa, I have wanting you as my alpha since I met you." Reki took the rag, soaping up Langa.
"Come on. Let's finish up. I made us a nest, and I have a heat brewing. We can cuddle and order some food and watch a movie or two." Reki pulled Langa close pressing a kiss to Langa's mouth, laughing when Langa followed him after they broke apart.
"I love you." They said at the same time. They stared at each other before laughing and finishing their shower.
When they met up with the others a couple weeks later, money changed hands at the matching bite marks and promise rings they wore. Langa became a world sensation after his international coming out and Reki could barely keep up with his commissions after Langa mentioned how he got started during an interview. They were surviving, and with the support of each other, their friends and their family, they planned to together, infinitely.
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saundraswriting · 2 years
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Old Habits Die Hard
SUMMARY: Ash Lynx died one cold wintry day in New York City. Aslan Jade Callenreese-Lobo was adopted by a recently remarried Max and Jessica Lobo on a similar wintry day in New York City. One almost spring day, Aslan took his money, his new name and one plane ticket to JFK, never looking back. One cold wintry day, Eiji Okumura felt his heart shatter with one phone call. He stayed frozen and cold until one almost spring day.
WARNINGS: This is set post canon but still banana fish is heavy proceed with caution.
NOTES: This was for the banana fish secret valentine's day exchange.
Ao3 // Masterlist // Twitter
Eiji shifted the bag of groceries to get a better grip. 'I always underestimate the trip home. I need to start working out more.' He resolved to start working out as soon as possible. He had been home for months now. The time to move on had come. He had been helping Ibe-san with his projects lately while trying to figure out what he was supposed to do safe on the other side of the world from where he wanted to be. 'Stop thinking useless things.'
"I'm home!" Eiji called out in Japanese, barely successful in bringing the groceries and taking his shoes off.
"Welcome back." A chorus of voices responded in Japanese.
Eiji began lecturing as he came through the doorway not lookimg up. "Mei, I hope you are being a good host. Did you offer tea and snacks to your friends?" He was pulling items out of the bag to put away, unaware of his mother joining him.
"Eiji. t isn't your sister who has friends over." She said. Eiji paused, brows furrowed.
"Is it Mahjong night? I thought that was yesterday." His mother shook her head. "Mom, I am not sure I understand. I haven't spoken to anyone but ibe-san since I came back. I certainly don't have company." Eiji brushed off his mother's unusually cryptic attitude.
"Ei-Chan, please. Stop for a moment." Mei grabbed him by the elbow, leading him to the living room, the table full of snacks and tea.
Eiji saw his fingers first of the mysterious stranger there to see Eiji. Fingers he saw too often wrapped around a gun. Eiji continued scanning upwards, heart pounding, breath quickening. He felt hope bloom like a live thing in his chest.
Broad chest.
Strong arms.
Sharp jaw.
Green eyes.
Blonde hair.
Eiji felt frozen in place, excitement and astonishment and confusion filling him.
"Aslan." An exhale. Shaky and weak.
Eiji." Ash's smile was as shaky and weak as Eiji's voice.
Eiji sat down heavily, eyes never leaving Ash's. "Ash. My Ash. You're here? In Japan. Alive."
"Yeah. I wasn't meaning to surprise you like this. Are you okay?" Ash couldn't bring himself to look at Eiji after all this time.
"Me? Am I okay? What about you? I wasn't the one stabbed." Eiji snapped, absentmindedly making a cup of tea.
"Yeah. I'm asking if you're okay. You were the one shot though. I haven't seen you in almost three months." Ash said.
"Ash. I'm fine. I missed you like crazy. For the first time in a long time, it feels like I can breathe again. I am beyond thrilled to see you again. I thought you died." Eiji couldn't help but be honest. His heart and soul were lighter than they had been in weeks.
"I can't even imagine how you felt. Eiji, if I thought you died..."Ash trailed off, a pained look on his face. The two of them remembering an interrupted Japanese lesson. "I couldn't tell you. You had just gotten home, you were safe. I wasn't going to put you in danger again, just because I was stabbed."
Eiji stopped shy of slamming his cup down. "You are important to me. You always will be. I know it was my letter that got you stabbed. Do not insult my intelligence. " Eiji's voice broke on a sob. He pressed his hands against his mouth to stifle any more noises. "I just want an explanation."
"Max, Jessica and I decided that since I survived, that it would be best if I died. A dead whistleblower tell no tales. We broke the news of Papa Dino and Banana Fish. I used the money to get my new name and take care of everyone back there. The second I could I hopped a plane to be here. With you." Ash finally looked up from where he was staring holes in the table. "Eiji, you mean more to me than you will ever know. I couldn't stomach being away from you any longer than I had to. I know I am couple months late, but I really want to take you up on your offer." Ash's smile reminded Eiji of a cup of tea on a cold day, warming you up from the inside out slow and soft.
"Absolutely. Ash, I'd never turn you away no matter what happens. I will be by your side. Forever." The two of them grew quiet, unsure of how to proceed.
"Ei-Chan, is your friend staying?" Eiji's mother broke the silence, her soft Japanese soothing.
"Yeah. He'll sleep on the spare futon in my room. He'll be here for a while, getting settled." Eiji responded. He got up gathering the dishes. "Mom, this is Aslan. We met in New York. He is a dear and close friend of mine. Please bear with us." Eiji told her. Her eyes crinkled a little with her smile, eyes twinkling. 'Eiji looks like her.'Ash thought.
"Thank you Okumura-san.:" Ash said in moderately accented Japanese. "I tried to learn a bit before I came." Ash said switching to English in response to their surprise.
"Look at you, well on your way to being a sloppy Japanese." Eiji teased.
"No, thank you. I'll leave that up to you, it comes naturally." Ash teased back. He grew somber. "Eiji-"
"Nope. Yoi are welcome here. We can tell her more later. Right now, I just want to enjoy the fact you are here with me. Finally." Eiji cut off Ash's attempt at apologizing.
"Completely sure. Now, let's get ready for bed." Eiji caught his sister's gaze and looked at the barely cleaned table. She nodded waving them off with a hand. Eiji grabbed Ash by the hand pulling him up. "Good night, both of you. We will see you in the morning. Aslan, did you bring luggage?" The two of them headed off to Eiji's room, voices fading, unaware of his sister and mother sharing fond looks.
Eiji and Ash entered his room, Eiji pulling out two thinner mattresses and some blankets. "Here we sleep on futons. I will set them up while you are in the bath." Eiji led the way to the bath, taking the time to explain all o the buttons and options that were labelled in Japanese. Ash repeated some of the lesson and confident he could manage Eiji left him alone. "I will be right across the hall if you need something." Eiji reached out like he was going to touch him but pulled back, leaving instead.
Ash sighed unsure as to why the lack of contact hurt him. Eiji never hesitated to touch him when in New York. 'Maybe, he doesn't want me here.' Ash shook his head, stripping down. 'No, you just came back from the dead to him. He needs time and space. Your being in love with him doesn't excuse that.' Ash lectured himself. 'I'm fine. I am safe here, welcome here with perfect Eiji.' Unbidden the image of Eiji's surprised face and warmth from his hands filled Ash's head. 'Yeah, we'll be just fine, me and my Eiji.'
A while later there was a knock on the door. Ash blinked out of his light doze, both awed he slept and accepting he may be more jet-lagged than he thought. "Aslan, I have some clothes for you. I unpacked your clothes and things. I have it all on in a drawer in my dresser and on my desk." Eiji called. Ash felt affection well up in his chest. 'Perfect Eiji strikes again, always taking care of me.'
"Come on in, I don't mind." Ash looked up when the door opened, Eiji had his eyes closed. Ash felt his heart ache, this simple idea of consent, Eiji not looking while he was in the tub made him melt. "You can open eyes Eiji."
"Thank you for telling me. I am trying to respect your privacy. Your autonomy." Eiji placed the neatly folded clothes on a counter.
"You have no idea what that means to me. You don't have to be so careful. The difference between them and you is intention." Ash tried to explain. "On accident or on purpose, it isn't the same. You are different, you always have been, always will."
"I want you to know that I will never take from you. You are more to me that a...a...a pretty face. To me." Eiji huffed a sigh, trying to quell his agitation. "I am not having a discussion on body autonomy and consent on you first night here. Come now, let's get you out and properly dry. You'll catch a cold." Eiji grabbed the large fluffy towel on the counter.
"Eiji, that is what I mean. You keep taking care of me. You won't take anything from me, I will give everything, anything to you." Ash wanted to get out of the bath. He wanted to touch Eiji, but he felt if he got out the conversation would end.
"I will never not ask." Eiji held out the towel, putting an end to the conversation. "Please. Let's discuss this later." Ash felt like if they didn't discuss it now, they never would. The two of them would be stuck in a limbo of not wanting to trigger the other. Ash stepped out, not wanting to fight the first night he was with Eiji after being dead for months.
Eiji looked away, holding the towel out. He left Ash to get dressed. When Ash entered their room, The beds were made and Eiji was dressed for bed. "Come. Sit down. I'll dry your hair." Ash handed over the towel, sitting down before Eiji. "You're staying here right? Until we get a place for us to get settled, My family won't mind having you stay."
"Us? I like the sound of that. Just like old times, without the ever-present threat of death." Ash threw a bright grin over his shoulder. 'He is different than the last time I saw him. Lighter. Happier. Livelier.' "As long as they are okay with it. Just say the word and I'm gone." Ash interrupted Eiji's thoughts.
"I said forever, didn't I?" Eiji asked.
"Yeah you did." Ash closed his eyes enjoying the sensation of Eiji drying his hair. 'I could get used to this.' Was the last thing Ash remembered.
The summer passed in a blur. Eiji was busy helping Ibe-san but occasionally brought Ash along. When he didn't Ash spent his days helping around the house while learning his Japanese. Eiji's mom was enamored with his manners and integrity. Eiji even introduced him to the therapist he saw upon returning from the states. They spent their days together, Eiji never pushing past the limits that Ash set, physically or verbally. They didn't try to have another discussion like his first night there again.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. When Ash was moderately fluent and mostly mentally sane, he brought up finding a place to stay. "Eiji! I don't want to impose on your family anymore. I really want to move out." He was sitting in front of Eiji, reveling in the feeling of Eiji drying his hair. The quiet domesticity of the moment not lost on Ash.
"If that is what you want. I think you are fine and would be able to handle it on your own." Eiji's tone of nonchalance rubbed Ash the wrong way. 'Come on, Eiji. Show a little more than that.'
"Dummy. What I want is for you come with me. You were the one who promised me forever. Why are you surprised when I take you up on your offer? How are you this dense? Eiji, I followed you halfway across the world."
"If that is what you want. I would love to move in with you. Do you have preferences or a... what is that list called?" Eiji pulled out a notepad, making Ash smile.
"A wish list, Eiji. All I want is for it to be a house with a yard. Not in the city. And a large kitchen and an extra room for an office or library. I want what you want." Ash stared Eiji down for a bit, silently daring him to say something. Eiji flushed a light pink at the extended eye contact.
The conversation Ash and Eiji had with Eiji's mother and sister was easy. Eiji had stressed over it for days, mumbling under his breath constantly about how he is to convince his mother he was safe with the man who kept in New York for so long. But like most people, he underestimated the great Ash Lynx.
"Okumura-san, I cannot thank you enough for taking care of me for all this time. I will always see you as a mother figure in my life. That being said, I am ready to move forward, and I want to do that with Eiji by my side." Ash bowed his head.
Eiji's mother and sister sat on the other side of the table, their after-dinner tea growing cold. "Aslan-chan, you never have to thank me for that. I did what any mother should have. I am glad even with all the time you kept him, you make him happy, and he makes you happy. If you need anything, either of you please, let us know. We are your family. I wish you both all the health, happiness and safety you can receive."
"Does that mean I can call you onii-chan now?" Mei laughed. Eiji spluttered and blushed. Ash just grinned a little manically.
"Maybe one day you can for real." Ash whispered in her ear, face softening at her giggles. Then the words registered at she snapped her head towards him, eyebrow raised.
"wait, you really like my brother?" She whispered back.
"Mei, your brother is more important to me than anyone in the world. I have not had great experiences with love or people, but I am pretty sure I am in love with your brother." Ash whispered. Mei squealed quietly.
"What are you two being all secretive about over there?" Eiji's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Nothing!" They chimed simultaneously, Ash with a poker face and Mei with a smug smile.
"I don't believe you." Eiji shook his head. "Thank you, mom. We already got a place picked out. We should be moving in a week or so."
She pulled him into a hug. "You are my son. I will support you no matter what. I am just glad you finally found someone. You were so lost for so long and if this man helped you find your way, then who am I to deny you that. You have always been a worrier, especially to those who you love."
"I-mom-Ash and I-I'm not in love with Aslan. He is too good for someone like me. He will do great things. I am just meant to stand by his side. He is so brilliant and bright and wonderful and strong. Once he finds a place to stand on his own, he won't need me there anymore. So, I refuse to take more than I can handle, take more than he is willing to give." Eiji waved a hand frantically by his face.
"Son, no one is willing to fly halfway across the world for just anyone. That man loves you. He is making his own way and taking you with him. Don't shut him down before he even tries to reach out." Eiji's mom brushed his bangs out of his eyes, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. "Just be you. Wonderful, perfect you. You will find out what I mean, one day."
"Okay, enough mushy stuffs. Let's get to business." Eiji's mother grew stern. The two men grew nervous. "Have you done any shopping for this new place?" She looked at both their faces frozen in horror and shame. "Obviously not. Well, you said you had the place picked out."
"Yeah. We get the keys tomorrow." Ash said proudly.
"Okay, then I get to pull the mom card and help you shop. We will need to get you guys some dishes and food and basics and furniture." Eiji's mother looked almost overly excited about the whole thing. "I cannot believe we have a week to get this done."
"That would be my fault. I wasn't sure how well you would take the news, and every time Aslan wanted to tell you I froze." Eiji said. His mom just ruffled hir hair.
The week passed quickly. Eiji's mom was diligent in preparing her two sons' for their future without her. She helped them pick out everything from towels to dishes to the western style beds they wanted (twin sized in the same room with a shared dresser and closet just like here and New York). Ash paid for everything, sparing no expense, and ensuring they had everything they would need for the house. Aslan had a room for his office and Eiji had a studio. The yard was decent sized, with a nice patio. They even had a guest room at Eiji's request. The next few weeks were a mess of boxes, packing tape, moving, organizing, not-quite-arguing, organizing, moving. Settling in took time, but they figured it out.
"Aslan, if you are going to the library today again, leave out your laundry. I'll do it when I get back from class." Eiji said as he finished the final touches on breakfast.
"Sure. You know I can do it too?" Ash no longer had an entire government plot or mafia to demolish, he had more time to help Eiji maintain their home. 'He fell back into old habits.'
"No, I like doing it. You have enough to worry about, trying to increase your fluency and getting settled. You should just do things you like to do." Eiji said.
"You have class and work with Ibe-san and do all the chores. I just do some writing under a pseudonym. I can help out more." Ash tried to push again.
"Aslan, everything is fine. I go a handle on this. Enjoy your freedom. You worked hard to get it." Eiji kept his eyes down, a sign he was hiding something from Ash. 'Don't you get it? If you don't need me to help with this much, then I have no purpose here.' Eiji felt his eyes welling, h took a few shaky breaths trying to calm down.
"Don't hide from me please. I want you to be happy here. This is our home. I share it with you. I can't help you-" Ash was cut off. Eiji slammed his hands on the counter.
"I am happy here. Has anything I said or done; made you think otherwise?" Eiji demanded. Ash's eyes widened. 'No. Please say no. I can be better. I can do better.' Eiji felt the panic well in his chest.
"No! Eiji, what?" Ash could barely talk, words caught in his throat, the feeling of Eiji slipping through his fingers winding him. "Eiji, please. Talk to me."
"It nothing. I go to class." Eiji quickly put breakfast on the table. Ash grew even more worried, Eiji's English hadn't been this broken since New York. "Text me later, yes?" He left without hearing Ash's answer. 'Oh no. You are not getting away that easily.' Ash resolved to make Eiji talk to him when he got home. Until then, the plan was to eat and clean and research.
Ash used the time Eiji was gone to do the chores that needed done. Eiji had been trying to keep up with keeping the house clean, but they were still trying to get settled. On top of Eiji trying to balance the house, a part-time job and part-time classes, there wasn't much time. They talked often about what needed done, so Ash did them, doing a bit of shopping nearby to finally finish the house. He sent a picture of the last of the boxes and trash sorted and broken down to Eiji. 'We are officially moved in. I did the last few things that we had been talking about today.' Ash waited a few minutes for a response but there was none. He tried to not feel hurt from being ignored, not wanting to make this issue about him when Eiji was clearly suffering or harping on something.
Next, Ash looked up way to help Eiji relax. He got some ideas, getting the preparations done to be ready when Eiji came home. Hours later, Eiji's familiar voice called out in Japanese "I'm back." Ash practically sprinted towards the front door, shifting impatiently from foot to foot as he removed his shoes. The second he stepped out of the entryway; Ash swept him into a tight hug. They didn't partake often in physical contact, Eiji out of respect for Ash's consent and Ash tried but didn't want to make Eiji uncomfortable.
"You came home. Welcome back." Ash squeezed. "I am so happy. Now, come on. I made dinner, but I also have a bath ready. or a movie and snacks ready to go."
"What?" Eiji's voice was muffled by Ash's shoulder. "You're not going to kick me out?"
Ash froze completely, his heart stopping. "Eiji Okumura. What do you mean kick you out?" Ash's voice was cold and deadly. Eiji was reminded of the gang leader days.
"Nothing. I was being stupid. Forget it." Eiji tried to pull away. Ash let him, missing his warmth already.
Ash thought back to the old dance they had been doing since he got here. Eiji seemed to be holding back for months, going along with what he perceived as what Ash wanted. Ash didn't push, trying to respect boundaries he only vaguely understood.
"We need to talk. It isn't nothing. Eiji, you've lost weight and haven't been sleeping. I want to help you!" Ash trailed after him.
"You don't have to help me. I don't need help! I'm fine." Eiji paced the living room.
"Eiji, we need to talk. There is something bothering you and I am right here. You aren't alone." Ash wasn't sure how to comfort Eiji, always have been the one being comforted. He looked at the couch and the large blanket he had bought. He remembered how warm Eiji was. He snatched his hand, leading the Eiji to the couch.
"This is not a big deal. I will be fine." Eiji seemed to grow smaller the more Ash pushed.
"You said 'I will be fine.' that time." Ash settled down, Eiji settling between his legs, reclining on his chest without coaxing.
"Aslan, I invited you to Japan to be safe and happy. I didn't invite you here to be with me." Eiji said. Ash was surprised he was actually talking. "If I was by your side or not, I knew Japan was the best place for you. Even when I thought you were dead, I thought I should have pushed the issue more but hindsight and all that. Then you were alive. I didn't want to be a reminder of what you had survived. If I was just a stop on your way to true happiness, then so be it." Eiji took a breath. "Then you decided to move out. I never thought I would actually have to face the idea of you moving on without me. But you wanted me to come along. I was so happy; I could have cried."
"Eiji, you are the reason, I am here. Don't sell yourself short. How am I to survive without you?" Ash asked. He ran his finger through Eiji's hair.
"I didn't want to lose you after all this time. So, I decided if nothing else, if you couldn't-" Eiji cut himself off. "If nothing else, I would be useful to you. You wouldn't have anything to worry about. You paid for everything, the least I could do was work to pay some bills and the housework. I have never been much help for you. I wanted to take care of you like you take care of me." Eiji's shoulders shook as his breath hitched. "I wasn't able to do that. You've been worrying over me this whole time. Then you-you finished the house...I figured that meant you wanted me to leave. " Eiji's voice broke, Ash felt his heart break.
"Darling. My darling Eiji. No. I never want you to leave. I did that today to show you that you can depend on me. We are a team. Forever remember. Eiji, I love you. I love you so intensely it scares me. I want you to lean on me, like I lean on you." Ash confessed. Eiji's sobs got harsher. Ash just kept hugging and caressing, murmuring sweet nothings until he calmed down.
"Ash, my sweet Ash. My sweetheart. I said forever and I meant it. I love you too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll do better, I'll be better. You are so brilliant and smart and strong; I want to be able to stand by your side. " Eiji promised.
"Eiji. There is nothing to be sorry for. I love you. You, the one who showed me there was more to be then a child who was abused in terrible ways. I don't want to be better. I want you to be you. I want you to talk to me. Promise me that you won't hide from me again. I love you too much to see you suffer like this again." Ash soothed.
"I'll try to do better." Eiji tipped his face up, a small smile.
"Old habits die hard they say. You have always had a habit of putting others before yourself." Ash said. "Now, how about you take a bath, and we can have a quiet movie night. We can talk about this more in the morning. We can even have a chore chart and a budget sheet, so you feel like you are contributing more. I don't want this to happen again. I am worried for your health." Ash murmured in Eiji's hair.
:"A bath sounds wonderful. I need to wash my face anyway. You want to reheat dinner?" Eiji wiggled his arms around Ash squeezing him tight. "I do love you. I have been in love with you since the beginning. I am glad we made it this far." Eiji tried to stand up but was pulled down again. He looked up as Ash looked down.
"I would like to kiss you now, please." Ash waited for Eiji's shy nod before pressing their mouths together. It was a sweet soft kiss, syrupy slow and gentle. They pulled away, Eiji blushing and Ash grinning. "I love you too. Now, get your bath my darling, I'll reheat dinner."
"Yes, sweetheart, I'll be back in a bit." Eiji got up, Ash let him. After a moment, Ash got up and headed into the kitchen, soul thrumming pleasantly at the memory of their kiss.
'Yeah, I could get used to this' Ash thought while puttering around.
'Yeah, I could get used to this.'Eiji thought while getting out of the shower.
'We have forever, after all.'
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saundraswriting · 2 years
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SUMMARY:
The rainy season was not to be taken lightly. An afternoon here caught without an umbrella, a night there with still damp hair, a couple days lazing about, the results brought back some memories for both Kageyama and Hinata.
Who can fly on sick wings?
WARNINGS: HQ MANGA SPOILERS, panic attacks, references to self-harm,
NOTES: This was a random gift for a great friend on twitter. This fic is the baby of our shared beloved headcanon of fever trauma.
Ao3 // MASTERLIST // TWITTER
Shouyou desperately missed the sunny and warm beaches of Rio. All those months in near perfect weather desensitized him to the cold bitter windy days of Japan's rainy season. He underestimated just how much rain could fall at once. He took for granted the idea of gravity as rain pelted him from all directions, chilling him to the bone. He was wet when he got to practice more often than not, he was wet when he got home just as often.
"Glad Tobio is away a few days. All this rain is exhausting. Listening to his lectures would kill me." Hinata muttered to the empty apartment.
He scurried to the bathroom, peeling off his clothes. He grimaced at the wet plop his shirt made on the floor. He hung them to drip-dry, not wanting to worry about the musty smell if he put them in the laundry. 'Bath? No. I'm tired.' Shouyou considered the tub but instead pulled out pj's to get ready for bed. 'Shouyou, remember to dry your hair. You'll catch a cold.' He could hear his mother's voice in his head. He ignored it. This wasn't the first day this week he went to bed with wet hair, won't be the last. He never can remember to grab his umbrella. He snuggled into his pillows with a half formed thought about texting Tobio but was asleep almost immediately.
Shouyou woke up the next morning, sluggish and dazed. He blinked a few times to get his vision to focus. He got ready for practice, praying the dry but overcast day held until he got to the gym. He eyed up the fridge but with no appetite, he just continued on his way. He pulled out his phone on the train, seeing a simple goodnight text from Tobio.
Tobio! Good morning. The rainy season is no joke. It's been a week and I already want to go back to Brazil. Shouyou texted him back also apologizing for not texting him good night.
Morning, Shou. I told you two weeks ago and every day since. The rainy season was starting. I told you to start carrying an umbrella. Dumbass. Tobio responded. I get it though. Italy was so nice but Rio was on a totally different level. Maybe we can plan a trip to Okinawa.
Shouyou smiled at his phone. I'd love that. When are you coming back? He was walking into the practice gym, not paying much attention to his surroundings.
"Today. The promo was done faster than expected. Now, hurry. You were almost late. Bokuto's been looking for you." Tobio said from inside the door.
"Okay! Toss to me later, okay?" Shouyo beamed, batting his eyelashes.
"Always. Dumbass. Now go. We'll catch up at home." Tobio ignored the warmth in his cheeks, trying not to look at Shouyou for too long. Tobio refused to watch him walk away, instead heading over to Ushijima to request some receiving practice.
An hour later, Tobio is paying minimal attention to the receiving practice he requested. Almost all of his attention is on Shouyou, who is trying to prefect Bokuto's cross-court spike with Atsumu setting for them. He was near completely certain he was right, and as such had some medical supplies delivered to their shared apartment already. He didn't notice Iwaizumi and Ushijima joining him in his staring.
"My joints hurt today. Ugh. Must be the weather." Shouyou was saying. Tobio shook his head, his stare transforming into a glare.
"Tobio? Everything okay? You're staring more than usual." Iwaizumi said. The three of them watch Shouyou twist and turn, trying to find some relief from the aches and pains.
"Yes, Kageyama. You are rarely this distracted." Ushijima agreed.
"There is something wrong with Shouyo." Tobi watched as he caught his breath. "Watch him. Closely."
Shouyo mimicked the motion Bokuto made before getting into spiking position. Atsumu gave the ball an easy set, and the member of the JNT watched as Shouyou missed. He landed, arms out the side for balance in a way he hadn't needed to since high school.
"He looks fine. A little off, but he is learning a new spike. That is to be expected." Ushijima said, seemingly unconcerned.
"Maybe you're just jealous. He is still your spiker. Atsumu can't steal him away. I heard him beg you for some tosses earlier." Iwaizumi joked. "I know you are soulmates or whatever but don't worry. Atsumu has his eye on someone else."
"What? No. Everyone but Sakusa knows Atsumu is literally head over heels for him. I am not jealous. I know Shouyou is my spiker. There is never any doubt about that. He wouldn't have moved to Brazil for two years for nothing." Tobio paused. "What do you mean soulmates? We may be best friends, but soulmates?" Tobio consciously lowered his voice, aware he had gotten louder the longer he talked. "Nothing more than that." The others ignored the wistfulness in his voice, both pining after people in their own lives.
Tobio shook himself. "Watch. He's achy and tense. He isn't jumping as high due to that. His take offs are wrong entirely. His breathing is shallow and rapid. He wobbles on his landings. He hasn't needed to brace for balance like that in years." Tobio explained. He didn't notice the looks of exasperation thrown his way. "He is definitely sick." Tobio could hear the shake in his own voice. He was frozen, eyes distant and glazed. 'I can't lose him too.' Tobio blinked back into awareness, ignore the creeping tendrils of panic up his spine. He hurried across the gym, stopping next to Bokuto gaze never leaving Shouyou.
Shouyou was starting another spike, he made contact, almost duplicating Bokuto's spike according to the loud cheers from Tobio's side. As he landed Tobio rushed forward, bracing him as he stumbled. "Tobio, are you ready to toss to me yet?"
"Toss to you? No. I can feel your fever through my clothes. You have to be a complete and utter dumbass, right? That is the only way that you are seriously putting your team through this again." Tobio ranted. "I can feel you trembling. I can hear the wheeze in your breathing."
"I'm sorry." Shouyou sagged in Tobio's arms, legs weak. "You may be right. I was fine when I got here. I little groggy but I thought some exercise might clear that up."
Tobio tightened his grip, biting back words he knew would be too harsh right now. The tendrils of panic were creeping along his shoulders, down his arms, fingertips tingling. "Iwaizumi, can you get a doctor? I am hoping it is just a cold, or maybe bronchitis but I am worried it could be pneumonia." The symptoms were eerily similar. He remembered his grandfather playing volleyball with him, and having to cut it shorter and shorter as his lungs grew weaker and weaker. A wheeze on every exhale. A weakness in his limbs. The rumble of a nebulizer in futile effort to bring his lungs back to working order.
"Tobio. Look at me. Talk to me." Shouyou reached up, hand cupping his friend's cheek. "I can't help if you won't talk to me."
"I can't talk to you right now. I am angry and scared and worried." Tobio tried to take some deep breaths, but they weren't as smooth as usual. "Tobio. Tobio. Hey, hey. Tobio, look right at me." Shouyou pulled them down to their knees, holding Tobio's face in both hands. "Look at me. Don't worry. I'm fine. I need you to list things you can see, please." Shouyou continued.
"Atsumu's hair. The gym floor. Bokuto's sneakers. Ushijima's shorts. Your eyes." Tobio listed. His breaths still shaky as his hands.
"Good. Good. Take a deep breath with me, okay?" Shouyou grabbed one hand pressing it to his chest. He took a few slow breaths until Tobio seemed able to catch the rhythm. "Doing great Tobio. Now do you want to talk to me?" Shouyou offered.
"I don't know if I can. I am beyond pissed off." Tobio tried to bite his tongue but like flood gates opened, stopping the tirade was no longer an option. "The Olympics are 6 months. You are sick. If it is pneumonia, that can be weeks out and all that conditioning lost. You once again but yourself before the team and let them down. Is this a preference of yours? You like working your ass off for a big game and then blowing it in the last set? Taking care of yourself is volleyball too. I thought you learned that lesson in our first year. No instead you get sick, and I could lose you again. I don't want to stand on this court without you. I want you by my side for the rest of our lives." Tobio finally ran out of steam, panting slightly as he realized how terribly he just spoke to his best friend, the person he has been in love with for years.
Shouyou bit his lip, not wanting to cry. Able to remember every second of their first national game as a team. Coach Ukai and Takeda-Sensei telling him he has to be benched due to his fever. Him begging and crying "I can still fly!" The bitter taste of defeat on his tongue. He shook himself, trying to focus not on the past but the present. Tobio needed him.
The team was staring at him, silent. Shouyou's lip wavering like he was going to cry. "Shouyou, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. That was a terrible way to deal with this. There was no reason to yell at you.
Tobio felt his breath catch and the trembling start in his fingers again.
"Shouyou didn't mean to get sick. Accidents happen." Bokuto tried to lessen the tension.
"Tobio. My Tobio. Yama-Yama. I love you too. I know you are worried. But I have cold. Nothing like Kazuyo. I won't lie, you hurt me. But I'm fine. I don't plan on going anywhere you can't follow me anytime soon. I am standing on that world stage with you. We both will be on the court the longest. I know what happened to your grandfather still haunts you. It always will, but I am here now. And I plan to stay. It doesn't matter if it is a cold, or pneumonia or anything else, cause I want you taking care of me for the rest of our lives too." Shouyou beamed at him. Tobio felt the chill in his bones melt away under its power.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that." Tobio gasped out. "It all came back. He was stiff and sore and then he had a cough, and it never went away. They tried a lot to help him get back to playing condition but eventually even walking was too exerting for his lungs. He just grew weaker and weaker." Tobio gripped Shouyou's shirt with all his strength. "You are right though. I am in love with you. Have been since high school. You've always been smarter than me in everything, especially emotions."
"I just paid attention. I didn't really believe it until after the Adlers/Jackals match. It all kinda clicked then." Shouyou laughed brightly. The sound easing Tobio's stress instantly.
"Shouyou, seriously though. How did you get sick?" Tobio asked, he pulled a bit on his shirt, plopping down on the floor with Shouyou's weight pressing into his ribs.
I was caught in the rain one time too many. I went to bed with my hair more often than not. I stayed in bed most of the time you were in Miyagi last week. I haven't really been dry or warm since before the rainy season. I've been feeling some tightness in my chest for a few days but ignored it, I was still able to breathe. I figured it would get worked out of my system but then I just kept getting wet. I think it really hit me today. I was feeling yucky when I got up, but it eased when I started practicing. But then it got pretty bad. I was going to go home right before you threw a big fit about it." Shouyou winked to show he was joking. Tobio huffed against his temple.
"We really need to work on you taking better care of yourself. This is not good for my health. How did you survive in Rio without me?" Tobio sighed.
"Didn't really. I worked and practiced. I would be so busy I would miss meals and be so tired I could barely sleep. Some days I was so homesick it made me physically ill. I would cry some days unitil I vomited. I really didn't learn much about taking care of myself. Volleyball came first. I refused to fall further behind." Shouyou said. He was standing up, holding a hand out to help Tobio up like he dind't just turn his world upside down with his confession. "I didn't really do it on purpose. Just some days, living was hard and volleyball was easy." Shouyou shrugged. "Come on silly-yama. I see Iwaizumi coming."
"Okay. You're okay now?" Tobio asked. The heaviness of his gaze telling Shouyou exactly what he meant.
"I could never be mad at you for long. You're forgiven." Shouyou smacked a kiss to his cheek. "Yes, I am. Because I have you. Now and forever."
"Absolutely ridiculous. Did I miss the confession? Damn." Iwaizumi shook his head. "Come on. The doctor wants to see you. You need a chest x ray and then we will discuss treatment. And since Tobio is now your live-in boyfriend, he should hear it too. One of you needs to know what to do." The team could hear the fondness in his voice even with the half-hearted glare he wore.
Two long weeks later of antibiotics and breathing treatments and nagging and rest, exactly zero members of the JNT were surprised that Shouyou was back to 100 percent and practically foaming at the mouth to play again. They were even less surprised at the matching gold bands the two of them wore on their left hands and the request for Shouyou's Jersey to read Kageyama S.. The day they came back to practice married and shyly requesting matching jerseys was unproductive. The team spent the first hour teasing the two of them.
"You guys move fast. Damn." Atsumu joked.
"Technically all it takes is a form submitted to city hall. We decided on a reception after the Olympics. We talked about it a lot while we were off. It just made sense." Shouyou explained.
The second hour was spent debating where they all should go to celebrate. When they got to the restaurant, the evening was spent debating which day was best for the reception. Bokuto was trying to bring up Tobio's spirits about the whole matter but was failing at every turn. Atsumu watched for a moment, "Why should I care? We are already married." "Tobio, that's no fun."
He turned to Shouyou. "Shou-Kun. Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." Shouyou turned to give his full attention.
"Was it worth it?" Atsumu asked.
"My situation is a bit different from yours' Tsum-Tsum. We've been together for a long time, we had settled into each other's lives in a way that most people found disconcerting. You and Sakusa-san, are aware of each other and that is a start." Shouyou said. "My answer, Atsumu? Yes. It is worth it."
"Are you ready to go?" Tobio interjected. Shouyou nodded standing up. His hand immediately grabbed and brought to Tobio's mouth, where he lightly kissed the ring before tucking Shouyou under his arm, pressing another kiss to his temple.
Atsumu watched them walk away, the others having left as well. "Ready to go? I'll walk you home?" Kiyoomi offered tentatively.
"I'd like that, Omi. I'd really like that." Atsumu saw the corners of Kiyoomi's eyes crinkle, a sign he was smiling under the mask. The two of them left the restaurant, hand in hand.
Shouyou turned to face the direction they were going after watching Atsumu and Sakusa walk off together. He admired the moonlight highlighting Tobio's features. "For the record, I didn't mean to confess when I got sick at practice. I'm sorry too, for triggering you. I didn't think what me being sick would do to you." Shouyou squeezed Tobio's hand.
"The timing could have been better. But I'm not mad it happened. I finally got you. How could I be mad about that? I'm sorry I yelled at you. That was out of hand." Tobio said. "Honestly looking back at everything, I almost feel like we would have gotten to this point eventually."
"What like soulmates?" Shouyou laughed, pulling Tobio behind him.
"Maybe." Tobio smiled, letting Shouyou pull them to their apartment, where they got ready and cuddled in bed, enjoying the beginning of the rest of their lives, together, in sickness and in health.
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saundraswriting · 2 years
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saundraswriting · 2 years
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Touch to See
SUMMARY: Everyone is born colorblind. A dull monochrome world, until the moment you touch your soulmate, then a vivid, myriad of colors. A simple brushing of hands with a new customer changed Langa's black and white world into a rainbow.
WARNINGS: None
NOTES: My submission for Sk8 heart bingo on twitter using prompts: Hands, Soulmates, coffee shops
Ao3 // Main Masterlist // Twitter
Langa was cleaning tables and restocking napkins, clearing the few dishes out of the designated bins, normal 1 pm on a Tuesday. His boss Kojiro was in the back working on the rest of the day's food items. It was a quiet moment. The world simple in monochrome.
"I'm sorry, Oka. Traffic is really slow right now. I can't help it. I think I might be a bit late." The door was thrown open, scaring Langa so badly he almost dropped the dishes he was carrying. "I-What? Sorry. I think-skrsh-Tunnel. Bre-king up. Ca-ll you l-ter." The man stumbling over the step into the shop was shoving his phone deep into his pocket, seemingly okay with hanging up on someone while pretending to go through a tunnel.
Langa was frozen in place, the man had wild hair pushed into soft spikes with a headband, a small wrench hanging off his belt. He wore a pullover hoodie and jeans even with Okinawa's heat pushing most people to seek AC'ed shelter. He had a small, cute nose and sharp jaw, but what caught Langa's breath was his eyes, big and bright. Even in black and white, he was gorgeous.
"Hey, welcome to The Slow Grind. Give me a minute to put these down. I'll get you order in a sec." Langa said. 'Good job. You didn't stutter. You even said 4 whole sentences.' Langa darted off through the kitchen door, setting the dishes down, just shy of dropping them.
"Langa, kid, what has you spooked? Is that creep from before here? I can show him-" His boss was reching back to untie his apron, ready to defend his employee's honor.
"No! Nothing is wrong per se. There is just a really cute guy by the counter- I'll be back." Langa left as quickly as he arrived, darting back out the door without another word.
"Hello! What can I get for you?" Langa came up to the counter, relieved the man was still there and alone.
"I know that I need a straight black coffee. Do you guys have anything on the menu that isn't coffee but is really sweet and possibly fruity. Oh! and I need one large, iced lavender latte with oat milk if possible." The man rattled off. Langa was dense but not stupid. He knew what type of people order that drink.
"Okay, was there anything else?" Langa asked.
"No, I don't-oh! Let me buy you a coffee." The man grinned. If Langa thought his eyes were his breathtaking his was obviously mistaken. His smile was huge, eye crinkling, tooth showing, heart stopping.
Langa was dumbstruck. He could only nod and tap his register a few more times, barely able to stutter without biting his tongue. "N-n-name, plea-please."
"Reki. I'll be paying with a card as well. Thank you very much." The man-Reki said. Langa just nodded again and finished up the transaction. He made the drinks and placed them in a carrier. Reki looked up from his phone-on which he was texting furiously. "Thanks again..." He trailed off questioningly.
"Langa. My name is Langa, nice to meet you Reki." Langa looked up from the counter. 'This is what looking into the sun must be like.' He thought. Reki was blinding him, warming him from the inside out. For a moment a single moment, Langa swore he saw red in the shine of this man's hair.
"Langa. Okay. I will see you soon. Have a great day!" Reki beamed at him before stumbling out of the shop, as gracelessly as he came in, and unaware he had just shaken Langa's entire world.
"Kojiro!" Langa called pitifully as he re-entered the kitchen. "He was so pretty, even without color. What am I supposed to do?" Langa whined. He began scrubbing the dishes he brought back, not wanting to face the smug grin on his boss's face.
"Next time ask him for his number." Kojiro laughed at Langa's sputtering. "Kid, it is fine. Maybe he will be back, maybe he won't give it some time. What is his name?"
"Reki. He said his name was Reki." Langa sighed.
Kojiro shook his head, muttering about young love under his breath; all the while finishing the pink cherry blossom design on his cupcake, he refused to admit was inspired by anyone he knew.
"He said his name was Langa. I swear for just a fraction of a second, his eyes were blue." Reki hadn't stopped rambling about the coffee shop counter worker in almost two days. Miya was sitting on the extra stool in his workshop at Dope Sketch, mouthing along with Reki as he spoke.
"Yes, I know. Ocean blue. What I don't know is why you didn't give him your number if you are that enamored with him." Miya said. He didn't look up from his switch.
"Cause that is creepy. He was working. Besides that, it's just wishful thinking. He was so good looking even without seeing him in color, he definitely has a girlfriend." Reki paused. "Or boyfriend."
"Good job being inclusive there, buddy. Anyway, you are ridiculous. Just suck it up and give him your number." Miya bored tone rankled Reki's nerves.
"If you aren't going to help, then go stock or something. This commission is hard enough without berating me for flirting poorly." Reki snipped.
"Just cause you are smitten and refused to do anything about it, doesn't mean you can snap at me." Miya hopped down and went to leave. He turned once he got to the door. "Also, you just drank paint water. Again." He was out the shop door before Reki could reply.
Reki threw his paint brush on the counter with a frustrated huff. 'Maybe I should get some coffee.' Reki ignored the voice in his head that sounded like Miya 'You just want to see Langa again.'
"Oka, I'm going out!" Reki called out as he left, trying to hide his smile at the thought of seeing Langa again.
When Reki came through the door this time, he avoided tripping on the step but almost lost his nerve when he didn't see Langa at the counter but a tall extremely buff dude with a bright smile on his face. "Oh. I-uh." Reki stuttered.
"Welcome to the Slow Grind. I'm the owner, Kojiro. How can I help you?" The large man was peering at him so intensely, Reki felt all his secrets were on display.
"Oh, I just need a large, iced vanilla latte with three extra shots with extra, extra sugar and vanilla. Please and thank you." Reki requested. He pulled out his wallet and paid as the owner asked for his name. "Oh, I'm Reki, Reki Kyan. I work at Dope Sketch with Oka. I feel like I have seen you in there once or twice." Reki said. He didn't pay attention to Kojiro's grin getting wider or eyes brighter.
"Yeah, I've been. I skate. Oka has the best shop for boards and gear. Your commissions aren't bad either." Kojiro complimented.
Reki flushed, he could feel the heat in his cheeks. "I do pretty well, I guess for someone who can't see color. Oka can see colors, so he helped me figure out how to tell the colors apart. Even in black and white there are some differences, so I can make the best boards possible." Reki was interrupted by Langa coming through the kitchen door.
"Kojiro, dishes are done, and I pulled the scones out of the over, the timer went off. I am going on break, if you are okay." Langa was talking to the coffee machine as he made himself a drink.
"Sure thing, dude. I even have a surprise for you." Kojiro said. Langa nodded heading off to a table in the corner by a large window. "I'll make that drink for you, Reki. Won't take me a minute, why don't you join Langa?"
Langa almost tripped over nothing. 'Did he just say Reki? No, I must have misheard.' Langa made his way to his usual break table, but he wasn't alone for long. Reki was in the shop, and he was sitting down, joining him on his lunch break. "Reki! Hello!" Langa waved like an idiot.
"Langa, good to see you man. How are you? Can I join you?" Reki pulled out a chair when Langa didn't answer, taking his silence as agreement.
Langa was speechless, watching Reki settle down at the table. 'I suddenly forget how to speak Japanese.' However, Reki didn't seem to mind his lack of verbal interaction. Reki adorably rambled about things at a speed Langa could barely keep up with let alone understand. Langa was infatuated with the way he described his job and family and coworkers. Reki was even great at reading Langa's minimal interjections as need for elaborations or fascination and would continue in that vein a little longer.
Neither adult was aware of time passing, both of them learning new things about each other, and enjoying their time together. "Boys, I hate to interrupt your date, but I need to borrow Langa for pre-dinner rush. So swap numbers and say good-bye." Kojiro stepped up to the table. The boys jumped, before looking around and realizing they had been talking for several hours.
"Oh shit. I have to get back to work. Langa, give me your phone really quick." Reki carefully snatched it, being careful not to touch his hand. He typed in his contact info and sent himself a message. "Okay. I'll text you later." Reki got up from the table, Langa rose too. Kojiro left to go man the counter.
"See you later, Reki. I hope you aren't in trouble for being late." Langa said.
"Me? Think about yourself. I should apologize, I kept you on your lunch break for much too long. Hurry before I get you fired.:" Reki laughed, making his way to the door, tripping over the step distracted by the blue strands of Langa's hair he thought he saw.
Langa waved at him as he left, the shop and passed by the window. Langa taking an extra second to etch the brown of Reki's eyes into his memories. "Kojiro, I think I am in love. He is so amazing, and creative and pretty, and warm, and caring." Langa walked to the counter in a daze.
Kojiro laughed heartedly. "I couldn't tell. It was all over your face, the only reason Reki couldn't tell is because he wore the same look. You better ask him out on a real date."
"Kojiro, I saw colors. For just a second today and the day I met him. Do you think he could be my soulmate?" Langa asked hesitantly.
"Oh, Langa. I don't know. You won't either until you touch him. But give that some time. Get to know him first, even if you aren't, it isn't the end of the world. Now, let's get to work. We can talk more later." Kojiro's words helped soothe Langa's anxiety and fears.
"You are very right." Langa looked at the door once more, nodding once. "Rome wasn't built in a day." Langa said. 'Reki, my soulmate? Anything is possible.'
"I don't know what to do? Langa is wonderful, and pretty and considerate and talented. There is no way he is my soulmate." Reki was muttering to himself, while working on some sketches. He wasn't in a good enough mental state to work on boards.
"Here is a thought. Go on a few dates. Or invite him to hang out. Get to know him. There is no pressure. Enjoy meeting someone new, because if Langa is your soulmate you will only meet them once." Oka was trying to calm Reki down. He had been in a panic for most of the week, worried about him and Langa's relationship.
"You're right. Maybe we can go to the aquarium or something." Reki mussed. 'I think I would do anything for Langa to be my soulmate.'
Several weeks later-after the aquarium date turned into either a date or time together every day or every other day at most-The two of them were at a skate park. Miya was planning on joining them as well. When they got there Langa's boss Kojiro was skating with a man in a white hakama with pink hair. "Kojiro! Hey! Didn't expect to see you here?" Reki called out.
"Hey boys. This is my soulmate, Kaoru. Kaoru, this is Langa, my employee and this is Reki, a regular of mine." Kojiro introduced them. "What are you doing here?"
"Langa used to snowboard, so I was going to see if he could skate. I designed this board for him and now we just need to test it." Reki held up the case in his hand.
"I am excited. I didn't know you had a soulmate or skated for that matter, boss." Langa said. He was putting on the safety gear Reki was making him wear.
"I've been skating since I was in high school. Kaoru actually got me into it." Kojiro said. He didn't say anything about his soulmate, seeing as soulmates and color vision and blindness were immensely private matters. Langa was sometimes too blunt for his own good.
"You gorilla, you got me into skating. Don't twist it." Kaoru reached out to swat Kojiro's head, but he dodged in time. "Anyway, can we watch for a bit? We might be able to help." The two boys nodded agreeing emphatically.
The next couple hours were spent together trying to teach Langa the basics of skateboarding. Reki had never had so much fun skating by himself. He was laughing at something Miya was saying and didn't realize he had grabbed Langa's bare hand trying to help him up.
Reki gasped loudly as colors began swirling into his vision. "Oh! Oh! Colors!! I can see colors. Langa! We're soulmates!!" Reki laughed loudly, grabbing Langa around the waist and swinging him around. "I found you! I finally found you!! Langa, You're my soulmate. Your eyes are so blue." Reki rested his forehead against Langa's growing somber. "Langa, my soulmate. Hello. Pleased to meet you!"
"Reki. Reki. Reki. Reki. Reki. My soulmate. I never thought. I hoped. I love you. My darling Reki." Langa could feel tears leaking down his cheeks.
"Oh Langa, don't cry. Sweetheart. Everything is fine. Let's go sit down." Reki tried to pull away, not getting very far.
"Reki. Wait." Langa pulled away, just barely. He framed Reki's face. "You are as pretty as a sunset. I love you too." Langa took a deep breath before pulling Reki into a quick kiss.
Reki froze at the pressure on his lips. Langa pulled away, embarrassment coloring his cheeks a pretty pink. Reki couldn't help but pull him back in for another kiss, forgetting the others in the park.
"Oh. My, God. Get a room, you two." Miya gagged. Kojiro and Kaoru looked like proud parents, small smug smiles on their faces. "Congrats, boys."
Reki and Langa turned back to each other, large face splitting grins on their faces. "Want to come meet my family, soulmate?" Reki asked.
"Only if you meet mine, darling." Langa laced their fingers together placing a kiss on Reki's knuckles. Reki's whole face lit up with a blush. Langa felt a thrill of primal satisfaction, 'This is all mine. Every color, every expression, every thought. All mine.'
"Let's go. No better time to meet our future then right now." Reki said. "Think you can ride to my place?"
"For you anything. Let's go." Langa and Reki said quick goodbyes to the others before skating away, relishing in their newfound color vision and soulmatehood.
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saundraswriting · 2 years
Text
Blood is Thicker than Water
SUMMARY: Kaoru would have been fine being a vampire, he was not fine being an unfinished vampire. And who was the man who wouldn't leave him alone?
WARNINGS: mentions of blood, unspecified assult
NOTES: this is my submission for Nika for Sk8 secret Santa.
Ao3 // Main Masterlist // Twitter
Being turned into a vampire wouldn't have ruined his life. Failing in being turned into a vampire however did.
High school 3rd year Sakurayashiki Kaoru was enamored with a mysterious boy from third year who went by the name ADAM. When the time came and Kaoru was offered a never-ending life and being by ADAM's side, he couldn't say no.
When Kaoru woke up after a night he could barely remember, his first thought was 'Should have listen to Kojiro.' A thought which didn't help clarify anything for Kaoru didn't know who Kojiro was or why the name made him feel safe. Kaoru spent the next few days in a fugue state, his memories foggy and distant. The hard he tried to remember that night the harder it was. He could remember a head of blue hair, the taste of acceptance, the smell of blood, feel the two small holes on the side of his neck.
Adam was nowhere to be found. Kaoru was left confused, alone, suddenly sensitive to sunlight, and unbearably thirsty. His ears itched and burned where his piercings were, so he took them out to his relief and sadness. His parents' forced visions of his future didn't seem as unreasonable as time went on and his memories faded deeper into the fog of his mind. If his parents noticed his change in personality, they said nothing.
He was unable to sleep, a restlessness deep in his bones causing him to quietly pace his home. He was opening and closing the cupboards and fridge, hoping that something would help ease him. The only thing that caught his eye was the raw steak in the bottom shelf, the blood gleaming the artificial light in the door. When he came back, he was sitting on the floor, tears dripping as he violently sucked the blood out of the raw steak. 'What happened to me that night? What is wrong with me?' Kaoru sobbed. He could feel the blood drying on his chin, the metallic taste lingering on his tongue.
The weeks preceding that night were ugly and lonely, the lack of memories making relationships hard to maintain. All except one. A tall, broad chested green hair man lingered around his orbit and his memories, comforting and anxiety inducing all at once. He didn't seem to take Kaoru's silent treatment. The not-a-stranger tagged along behind him everywhere, constantly making Kaoru question things with no possible answer.
"Kaoru, we've been friends for years. You're going to tell me, after all this time, you are going to do what your parents tell you? What about computer engineering?"
"Dude, I had to have done something to piss you off. Avoiding me isn't going to solve the problem."
"Kaoru, is this how you want things to end? Our graduation day, and you say nothing to me?"
Kaoru sighed deeply, his attempt to sneak away thwarted. He turned around to face the boy that had haunted his hazy dreams. "You just don't get it do you? I have nothing to say to you anymore. I am done with this farce; I refuse to be affiliated with an oaf like yourself." Kaoru snarled. He had hoped the yearlong one-sided relationship would fizzle out. He refused to acknowledge the pain his heart felt at his own vile words. The sense memory of the steaks he sucked dry; the metallic taste rose up his throat.
"Kaoru, I know you don't mean that. I want to help you. Please let me help you. Something happened. You have been hiding it from me and I refuse to let this be the thing that pushes you away from me." The green haired man stepped closer, hand raised, eyes filled with concern.
"You...you idiot. You know nothing. Leave me alone." Kaoru swept off with a flick of his long hair. He held his breath as he walked away, so the familiar stranger wouldn't see his shoulders shake with tears. Kaoru felt his heart break more and more with each step.
"Kaoru, I will always be here for you. Whenever you need it." The raised voice echoed through his head with every step.
Kaoru didn't turn back. He paced evenly and precisely towards his lonely future.
Kaoru spent his years alone, perfecting his craft and building up his facade. Once a week he blended raw meat and straining it for the blood. He wasn't dumb, Kaoru knew that night he can't really remember, the boy with blue hair, the small round scars on his neck, he knew he was a vampire. The mysterious blue haired boy must have tried to turn him, and it failed, leaving Kaoru memoryless and fangless. The monotony of his life was broken up only by the few emails he received from a man who went by Kojiro. He knew they went to school together, only able to remember their third year together, but he appreciated the passive updates and unobtrusive questions. Kojiro had gone to culinary school in Italy, France and America for years. He had wanted to open a restaurant and was hoping to do so after he returned to Japan. He had a job opportunity at a place near Kaoru's shop. The owner needed to retire and was looking for a new chef to run the place.
"How are you Kaoru? Are you eating well? Drinking enough water? I will be back soon, if you would like to make plans. I am not expecting an answer, haven't for a while. I am hoping that all these years, all this space, maybe you'll have found what you lost." The last email read. "I should be back in a month. I hope you accept my invitation; I do miss my best friend."
When the day arrived when Kojiro was to return, Kaoru made sure he was fully booked with appointments. He refused to give in and see this man who claimed to know all about him. In the end, Kaoru wasn't the one to decided when he went and saw Kojiro, a client had asked to meet there over lunch. The moment he stepped through the door, Karou would never forget. The green haired boy was no longer. Kojiro had grown to be several inches taller than him, his chest was twice as wide as Kaoru's. Kaoru could feel the broken heart he had been nursing for years heal, and his soul was soothed. Het felt his life settled into place, the semi-familiar face, easing his tense shoulders.
"Hello! Welcome to Sia De Luce. Come on in, we have a table reserved for you, Mr. S-" The hostess was cut off by a booming voice.
"Kaoru! Welcome! I am glad you finally stopped by. You look good." Kojiro poked Kaoru in the ribs chuckling at his flinch. Kaoru glared hard, but it didn't even seem to faze him.
"I am working, you giant. Leave me be." Kaoru huffed at Kojiro who nodded sagely, stepping back.
"I will do that. Kaoru, when you have time, step in again. Work hard and enjoy your lunch." Kojiro bowed slightly and returned to the kitchen.
Kaoru ignored the invitation for several weeks, instead filling his days with work, and working on his AI program; Carla. He continued to live his half-life. He was only able to shed his staunch outer layer once a week, at S. It was a massive skateboarding ring that runs once a week, the one thing from his rebellious teenager years he enjoyed. He had a large following, due to his cold personality but also his skating style. He was picky who he skated against, more so enjoying the atmosphere. He did have an eye on a skater who used firecrackers, a skater with fiery red hair with pure love for the boards he made, a young kid with nationally recognized talent, and a skateboarding prodigy with a snowboarding background. The kid was young and infrequent appearances who was growing more regular. The once snowboarder was very new and seemed attached to the hip of the fiery red head. 'They all have extreme talents, geniuses in their own right. Miya has been coming more often, wonder what is up with that? Reki has been smiling more and getting better. Langa is doing just fine. His snowboarding background gives him a solid foundation. I think I will introduce myself.' Kaoru skated through the crowd, looking for the gaggle of people he had been thinking about.
When he got there, Kaoru almost turned back, Kojiro was standing amongst them, skateboard in hand, shirt hanging open. Kaoru felt his heart give a weird lurch.
"You gorilla, what are you doing here?" Kaoru's voice came through slightly muffled through his mask.
"Cherry Blossom? You know Joe?" Reki asked, awestruck.
"Yes. I have the misfortune of knowing this imbecile." Cherry admitted. Joe just beamed at the acknowledgement.
"Hey, I will have you know I graduated top of my class in culinary school. I am no more an idiot than you are." Joe tried to defend himself.
"Oh? I was the one who helped you study for entrance exams, so I don't think that helps your case." Cherry snarked. He froze, crystal clear memories of the two of them crouched over books in his mind's eye, the stress of trying to help Kojiro pass the exams for Kaoru's school of choice making him bite his fingernails down to throbbing wounds. 'What? how am I remembering that? My memories before third year have always been foggy.
'I passed, didn't I?" They were too busy arguing to notice that the others had crept away from the bickering pair. Kaoru huffed, turning away to end this conversation. He wavered on his turn, Kojiro there to stabilize him. He looked up into the concerned face of his once best friend his vision fading.
'Today was supposed to be drinking day. How did I forget?' Kaoru thought horrified. The familiar constant ache in his throat, the cracked lips, all symptoms of pushing the limit growing unbearable. He knew all the extra work he picked up drained him more than he realized, physically, mentally and blood-wise. He was thirsty, unbelievably so and now he was being carried off in Kojiro's arms like a damsel.
When he came back around, he was in the living room of an unfamiliar apartment, clothes changed, breathing too quickly and so thirsty he actually felt it in his bones. He sat up and the room spun sharply. Kaoru let out a groan on accident, not wanting to alert Kojiro he was awake. He settled himself, realizing his useless baby fangs dropped and he couldn't get them back up, he was too thirsty.
"Kaoru? You finally awake?" Kojiro said, raising his voice to be heard from the kitchen. "Shit. That hurt." Kojiro came through the doorway, thumb wrapping in a bloody towel. Kaoru's eyes zeroed in on the bloody splotches on the towel, shoving his urge to drink down deep in his gut, hoping the acid will burn it away.
"You...you...you heathen. You brought me home with you? What right did you have?" Kaoru snarled. Anger as a weapon, using it to push people away.
"The fact that you are my best friend. Have been since we were in kindergarten. I had every right, especially when you looked like death warmed over and I don't know where you live. Why won't you just accept that I want to be there for you when you need help?" Kojiro waved his hands around violently. He was getting angry, Kaoru could see it in the tightness of his jaw, and sharp gestures.
"Stop this. Please. Stop pushing me away, for reasons I don't understand. Don't make that choice for me." Kojiro took a step forward, wounded hand forgotten.
"I don't have to explain myself to you." Kaoru said. 'Yes, get angry. Be alone is easier than pretending I know you.' He thought. He just wanted to be alone, alone with his cursed existence, lack of memories, his calligraphy.
"You're right. You don't. I wish you would though. I know you. I do, even if you think I don't or rather don't want me to know you." All of the fight and anger left Kojiro as quick as it entered. He looked down, eyes widening with surprise at his bleeding hand like he forgot about it in his desire to connect with Kaoru. "You are always the most important person in my life. You created this distance, with no words as to why and now you get angry when I want to close it." Kojiro turned around, to return to the kitchen.
The sight of his back, something Kaoru knew-with everything in him-he had never seen before broke something in his chest. Kojiro was always following Kaoru wherever he went, whatever he wanted to do. "Kojiro. Please. " Kaoru's voice broke, his hand reaching for the broad back turned away from him.
Kojiro whirled around, blood drops sprinkling the floor. "Kaoru, what-why are you crying? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten angry." Kojiro rambled as he hurried to sit neat Kaoru, unable to stop himself from gently caressing his face.
"Kojiro. I'm sorry. You're right. I am pushing you away. But seeing you actually go would break what little bit of me is left." Kaoru said, voice thick and wet. "I don't want you to go. Please don't go." Kaoru fisted the front of Kojiro's shirt.
"I won't. I promise. I'll be here as long as you need me." Kojiro soothed. "What can I do to help? I just want to help." Kojiro pulled Kaoru closer, protectiveness and affection welling up in his chest. Kaoru already on the verge of crying let out a small sob at the action. He wasn't an emotional person by nature, but he was so thirsty and tired and lonely and lost and anxious. Kaoru could smell the blood on Kojiro hand, it was so close, filling his nose he could practically taste it.
Kaoru was drowning under his vampiric symptoms, his desire to know the man holding him like he was sure he did once before, all he wanted was to not be thirsty, not be alone anymore. He could feel his resolve weakening, the blood trailing slowly down Kojiro's thumb mixing with the few tears he had been shedding. He didn't even try to stop himself, tongue flicking out and catching a drop, his mouth salivating at the taste. The metallic coppery taste soothed his dry mouth like nothing ever had, not even the blended meat concoction he survived on once a week.
"Kaoru?" Kojiro asked hesitantly. Kaoru moaned lightly, licking more of the blood off Kojiro's hand, before pulling the wound up to his mouth and sucking on it. He was pulling deeply; the blood flow having slowed significantly from the original incident. Kaoru was happy his saliva had slight anti-coagulant properties, allowing more blood to flow. He took a breath through his nose, sucking hard, tears leaking at a greater rate from relief. 'This tastes wonderful. I can feel my strength returning. I feel wonderful. Is this what I have been missing? Kojiro must think I am crazy. I am drinking blood. Actually blood, from Kojiro. He is going to hate me for this. How am I supposed to explain this to him?' Kaoru thoughts were rambling, unable to focus past the relief he was getting. "Kaoru? If this is what will help you take what you need." Kojiro relaxed into the couch, containing his panic and questions for now.
Memories came flashing through his mind's eye. Things he had forgotten, the everyday things like walking to school, or the bigger things, like Kaoru telling Kojiro he was gay. Kaoru felt like he was watching a movie, all the missing years and memories and togetherness returning the more he drank.
Kaoru let go of the wounded hand in surprise. His mouth was tinged red, blood smeared around his lips, teeth dyed pink. "I remember.' He breathed. He stared at his trembling hands, trying to find his composure. "I. Remember? How? How can I remember?"
"Kaoru? What is going on? What do you need?" Kojiro tried to ask but Kaoru wasn't listening. He pulled away to climb into Kojiro's lap, facing him. He could feel his cheeks straining from how big he was smiling.
"Kojiro. Kojiro. Kojiro. I remember. Somehow." Kaoru took a deep breath, trying to center himself. "I have something to tell you." He looked up into Kojiro's eyes. Kaoru was trying to ignore the fear he could feel brewing, but Kojiro's face only held love and acceptance. and some confusion. Kaoru grew somber, slumping in Kojiro's lap.
"In third year, I thought I fell in love. I didn't. I did fall into a trap. I was turned into a vampire. I wasn't properly turned into a vampire though. I was given fangs to start, and to finish I lost all my memories before that week." Kaoru started. "I pushed everyone way and did what my parents wanted because I didn't remember anything. You were the only one who stayed at all. You drove me crazy, never taking a hint, always there when I turned around. Then you left, and I didn't know what to do. I lost track of everything." Kaoru went silent, the courage leaving him as fast as it came.
"Kaoru, you are the most important person to me. I can't stand the idea of not being near you. You are so smart and snarky, and you try so hard to not be a burden on others. I can't let you be alone. I am sorry I had to leave but I want to be worthy of standing by your side." Kojiro smiled down at the man in his lap. "I am sorry I wasn't there for you more in our third year. You went through a traumatic event, and I only worried about myself. How have you been handling being a vampire?" Kojiro asked.
"Not well. I usually blend meat and strain the blood to drink it about once a week. the method is vulgar and laborious but effective. I think I need to be doing it more often, but I can't stand it." Kaoru huffed a deep sigh. "That is partly why I fainted at S tonight; I had been overworking myself. I was anxious over a lot of things and ignoring my needs. I am sorry I had to trouble you." He shifted on Kojiro's lap, embarrassment evident.
" I can't drink from a person unless there is a wound already. Like your hand. I am not only cursed with this vampirism I didn't want, I was cursed poorly. You have been the only light in a very bleak life and that was before I remember everything. Even when I didn't know you, I could depend on you and your humor and your strength and your compassion." Kaoru confessed looking off to the side, a slight blushing staining his cheeks.
"I was never mad at you. I pushed you away, you were never to blame. Even when I tried to you stayed. I can never thank you enough for that. I am so glad that I remember." Kaoru took a few deep breaths, like he was preparing himself for something.
"I love you." "I'm in love with you." Their voices overlapped, smothering the words. They stuttered and talked over each other before Kaoru clapped his hand over Kojiro's mouth.
"I love you. I have loved you for years, even as I forced distance between us, I didn't want to be a burden on you. But now I know, I have loved you for even longer than that. I wouldn't spend all these years with you if I didn't." Kaoru said.
"I love all of you, fangless and blood sucking and calligraphy. I couldn't stay away even if I tried to. I know almost everything there is to know about you. I can't wait to learn even more. You will never be alone again. You have never been a burden to me, I am strong enough to help you carry yours. Rely on me. For the rest of our lives." Kojiro bowed his head.
"Yes." Kaoru's answer was simple, but his smile was large and bright. "Thank you for never giving up on me."
"Anything for you. Now let's get you cleaned up. We can share my bed tonight. We can face the rest of our lives tomorrow, together." Kojiro stood up from the couch, cradling Kaoru in his arms. He carried them to the bathroom, he slowly and carefully stripped Kaoru of his clothes while the bath heated up, taking the time to wash his back and hair, not letting him lift a finger.
When Kaoru protested, Kojiro shushed him. "I have wanted to do this for years, let me have this please." The intimacy of the actions brought tears to Kaoru's eyes, no one in all his years dotted on this like Kojiro was. Memories of Kojiro forcing him to eat, drink and sleep when obsessed with projects came to mind, and Kaoru was hit once again with the love the man in front of him held just for him. 'You go ahead, soak for a while. I am going to find you some clothes and make a snack and the bed." Kaoru nodded absently, still amazed at the newfound memories he had. They all weren't complete but maybe time or even more blood will help. 'Like Kojiro just said, we can face the rest of our lives tomorrow, together.' Kaoru slipped into the overly large tub and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes next, he was being carried again, dressed in some clothes that hung off his frame like a child playing dress up. He was tucked into bed, a warm body slipping in behind him. "Good night, my lovely Kaoru." Kojiro murmured into his hair. "I hope when I wake up this wasn't a dream. Promise me you'll be here in the morning?"
"Every morning, Kojiro. Good night." Kaoru wasn't sure if his words made it out of his head or not, but he figured only time will tell, and that was something they both had tons of. Time. Together.
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saundraswriting · 2 years
Text
Branded on our skin
SUMMARY: Sugawara always wants the best for his friends. He always wants them to be happy. That desire doesn't change when Sawamura Daichi tells him they are soulmates, Koushi will do everything in his power to make Daichi happy. Even if that means changing the meaning behind their soul marks.
WARNINGS: Mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending
NOTES: This is my gift for @atsumulovebot_ on twitter for the HQ secret santa.
Ao3 // Main Masterlist // Twitter
Sugawara Koushi was uncertain how he got here but he wasn't mad about it. He met Sawamura Daichi at the welcoming ceremony and upon realizing they were in the same class grew to be quick and strong friends. How he let Sawamura convince him to join the volleyball club was another thing entirely. He didn't know much about volleyball, the sport losing popularity over the years, but Koushi didn't have it in his heart to turn him down, and neither did the third person of their trio, Asahi. The three of them signed up to join the club, Sawamura leading the charge.
The legacy of the Little Giant was still strong; it had only been two years since He graced the national stage with his short stature and as such the Karasuno Crows still had some air beneath their wings. The team was small, most of the players from the national team moving on and Old Man Ukai was getting close to retiring. 'I'll give it a year. If I don't like it, I can say I at least tried.' Koushi thought.
Ukai and the third years spent the first week going over positions and tactics and rules. The more they talked the harder Koushi listened. At week's end, the team held a training day. Koushi learned he loved to set, especially when Asahi or Sawamura were his hitters. By the training day's end, he had firmly settled into the Volleyball Club at Karasuno.
"Well boys, what did you think? You ready to commit?" Ukai asked the new recruits. The team had a few third years, a handful of second years and them.
"Absolutely." Sawamura said. Koushi and Asahi's voice chimed in behind him with their agreement as well. The team, Ukai and the faculty advisor Takeda-sensei cheered. The celebration was cut short by a soft knock.
"Sugawara-Kun?" A young woman spoke from the door. She wore long stockings and had long black hair.
"Kiyoko! Hey. What's the matter? Are you okay? Do I need to teach someone a lesson?" Sugawara asked. He was a little taller than she was, so he took a step back, so she didn't have to look up at him.
"No thank you. The one lesson seemed to be enough. I was wondering, I overheard you and Sawamura-Kun discussing the need for a manager for the volleyball club. I was hoping to apply for the position if it was still available." Kiyoko asked.
"I think so. Let's go ask sensei and coach. I think you would be a great fit. You are so well organized, and you have a great mind for numbers and statistics." Koushi grabbed he hand and pulled her towards the huddle. He broke through the babble easily, ignoring the comments about him and Kiyoko, they had been friends for years going to the same middle school. Koushi was glad to say that practice ended with all his friends being members of the same club with the promise of real practice starting next week. He wasn't sure how he let Sawamura convince him to join but he wasn't mad. Koushi was looking forward to what the future would bring.
When Koushi turned 16, his shoulder grew hot and when he had a chance to look saw his soul mark of a palm tree. He wondered what mark his soulmate got. Everyone got a mark, they matched their soulmate's in color, placement, shape, size. They could be romantic or platonic in nature, it was up to the pair to determine that. Koushi didn't put much thought into his soul mark, 'I have time. I will find them when the universe deems it so. Not a moment sooner.' Right now, he had high school to figure out, volleyball to learn, his sexuality to understand (which seemed to be drifting more masculine as time went on). He did touch it often to gain a sense of strength and pride, Palm trees were resilient, and lifesaving and also not trees at all but a type of grass.
A week later found the rest of the team found out. How he kept his soul mark a secret for that long when they change clothes for practice was lost on him. The first-year trio had entered the club room, needing to change before practice. Sugawara was quieter than usual.
"Oi, Sugawara. You okay over there?" One of the second years asked. Koushi was still trying to learn names.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I got my soul mark the other day. Just been stuck on the subject. I'll focus in practice, though." Koushi waved off the concern.
"OOOOHHHHH" the room chorused. Koushi looked up from where he was pulling his uniform pants off. The entire team was staring at him. Koushi sighed.
"It's a palm tree." Koushi said, pulling his shirt off quickly. He wasn't ashamed of his soul mark. He believed in it and its meanings.
"That actually makes sense. You are pretty helpful when the situation is dire. You also act and look like a proper kouhai until we blink and then you are some sort of chaos gremlin. Palm trees aren't trees but a type of grass. Fitting." The captain of the team said sagely.
Koushi blubbered, trying to deny the accusations but really couldn't, for the captain was right. After a bit, the thrill wore off for the team and practice continued as usual. He and everyone else missed the considering, slightly hopeless look his classmate Sawamura was giving him as he pulled his shirt on.
Winter came and went, with it their shots at the InterHigh. They didn't make it pass the prelims, which was to be expected, since the team was made up of members that were inexperienced. Upon return to their clubroom, the team was quiet. The third years solemn, for their last chance had slipped through their fingers, they could try for the spring tournament before the school term ended but that was usually ill-advised.
"Thank you everyone for you hard work. We made it farther than we would have without everyone's efforts. That sentiment goes double for you first years, we wouldn't have even been a team without you. Now, the time has come. We third years have agreed to step down effective immediately. We want you all to have as much time together as possible. You have plenty of time to become a real team, not just one that made it work." The captain said. The three other third years nodded in the background. "We will be around, to help and teach and guide but no longer are we the third years of the Karasuno Volleyball Club." The captain stopped again to clear his throat, words getting waterlogged and eyes growing wet.
"Thank you for all the memories." The third years said together bowing to the rest of the team. The raised their heads, the captain and vice-captain stepping in front of two of the second years. "Congratulations, captains. Fly high and show them we aren't flightless yet."
The team spent the rest of the day watching old videos and clips and looking through old and current player stats. They used this day, this step back to come together, to be better tomorrow than they were yesterday. Unspoken, they agreed the winter would be spent working hard, getting stronger. They held true to that silent promise. 'Daichi is amazing. The season's over but he is still going, even prepping regiments for the others.' Koushi couldn't help but follow his example, pulled into Daichi's ever hopeful orbit, pushing the team higher, further, better.
Koushi helped Sawamura and Asahi perfect their spiking. Asahi's talent and power quickly gained him a starting spot, Daichi chose to hone his receives. The three of them were often the ones to clean up and close the gym. Koushi reaped the benefits of living the farthest away and spent many a night at the Sawamura residence. He had a set of sleep clothes but the toothbrush he borrowed his first night rested in the holder in the bathroom with Sawamura's.
"I'll leave you clothes and a towel on the sink for when you are done with your bath. I'll get the bed ready." Sawamura said. 'Sawamura is too good for me.' No longer does Koushi sleep on the spare futon as it is too much effort for how often he stays. Koushi's favorite towel resting on the sink brought a wave of warm, soft affection well up inside him. Koushi knew himself well enough, knew he was falling in love with his best friend. 'Good thing winter break is almost here.'
When they came back for the final term of their first year, Koushi could tell something happened. Koushi himself had to work not to walk into a wall upon seeing Sawamura for the first time in a while, the constant exposure had hidden the broadening of his shoulders, the thickening of his thighs, the definition of his arms. "Oh no. Oh-No. Oh. No. OH. NO." Koushi couldn't stop staring, unaware he was speaking aloud.
"Koushi, you are actually drooling. Contain yourself. I know he is hot; you know he is hot but so does everyone else." Kiyoko had a hand on his elbow in case he lost control of his legs again.
"Kiyoko, has he always been this hot though? I know we work out a lot. Ukai has us in the gym as much as we are in the gym. Conditioning looks good on him." Koushi tried to not let his feeling affect their friendship. It didn't work very well, Sawamura wasn't only hot, he was smart, kind, considerate, caring, thoughtful. The more time he spent with him, the more he fell in love with him, and the only person who knew was Kiyoko.
"Sugawara, how was break? You got taller. Did you follow Ukai's regimen for you? You got some serious definition." Sawamura was close enough Koushi could smell his deodorant and toothpaste. He was a little taller than Koushi, who was struggling with Sawamura's chest being his entire field of vision. 'A hug from him would completely envelop me. He could kill me with those arms.' Koushi thought. 'If that is how I went so be it.' He wasn't making sense internally but how was he supposed to when Sawamura looked like that.
"Yeah, I tried to, as best I could. I had a good break, a cousin of mine broke a bunch of our shoji doors, so I spent a while retaping those. but beyond that it wasn't too bad. I got a decent fortune." The bell rang and they all made their way to class, chatting the whole way.
Practice came around for the day, the team getting changed, when Koushi remembered. He waited until the others were gone, just the two of them and Kiyoko and Asahi. They had finished getting changed but Kiyoko had come in, wanting to look for a tape measure, she wanted to retake everyone's measurements since it was a new term and new year.
"Sawamura, your birthday was over break, did you get your soul mark?" Koushi asked. He fully expected to be rebuffed, it was a fully personal question. Sawamura nodded slowly, hand reaching up to his shoulder. He right shoulder, right on his deltoid.
"I got it on my birthday. So, my soulmate is older. I knew who it was when I got it. I had seen the match before." Sawamura spoke to his shoes. Koushi held his breath, resisted the urge to touch his own soul mark. He was quiet, holding his hope in a chokehold.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just wanted to support you no matter what." Koushi reached out, fingers brushing his friend's hand. Koushi wanted to be supportive, be a good friend, no matter who was the soulmate of the person he was in love with.
"I want to tell you." Sawamura took a deep breath. "Sugawara, my soul mark is a palm tree on my right shoulder. It matches yours exactly. We're soulmates, Sugawara." Sawamura said, his hands trembled, he had tears on his lashes. He usually tan skin was pale and almost green looking.
'Me? I am Sawamura's soulmate?' Koushi felt relief like it was a tangible thing, his heart raced, soul was lighter than sunlight. When he looked up at Sawamura, that hope sunk faster than a rock. Sawamura's face was pale, he was sweating a little and looked almost green around the gills.
Koushi couldn't stomach being the person who was causing that look of devastation. He knew he would have to be the define the future, make the boundaries that he needed. "Sawamura, all this means is we are meant to be in each other's lives. We can be as much or as little as you want. Take your time and think about it. I will be happy with anything you decide." Koushi patted his back as he made for the door, Kiyoko following while Asahi stayed behind.
"Koushi, what are you going to do? Sawamura is your soulmate, and you've-" Koushi cut Kiyoko off.
"I know, Kiyoko. I can't let my feelings get in the way of this. I know how I feel for Sawamura, I want to be in his life, and I want him in mine. If we are platonic soulmates or not. But I won't scare him away. Let's get to practice." Koushi and Kiyoko went to the gym, where Asahi and Sawamura joined later. If the team noticed the space between them that wasn't there before no one commented on it.
Koushi and Sawamura together all the time, couldn't quite find their rhythm again. On and off the court, they weren't in sync as well as they used to be. Koushi tried but was unsure of how to be a soulmate and a friend. He would step forward, but Sawamura seemed to step back, leaving Koushi reaching and uncertain. There was silence where there used to be conversation, distance where there was touch. Koushi didn't know what to do. 'Maybe removing myself from the picture will help' Koushi thought. He spent weeks trying to repair the damage their matching marks did but the hard spot their relationship was in never softened. Then Sawamura finally pulled Koushi aside. 'This is it. This is where he tells me to stay away from him.' Koushi's heart pounded, nervous energy making him cut Sawamura off.
"Please don't quit the volleyball team!" Koushi tried to beat Sawamura to the punch. Sawamura's brows furrowed and his mouth opened in confusion.
"I'm not quitting the volleyball team. I wanted to see if you would make time for me this weekend. We could get lunch?" Sawamura as fiddling with his fingers, a little blush hovering around the tip of his ears. Koushi almost cooed at the image the bigger man made. Then he realized what was being asked of him.
"Are you a-asking me out-t?" Koushi spluttered. "You're not here to tell me you want to quit the team because I make you uncomfortable?"
"I am asking you out of sorts. Sugawara, you are one of my closest friends. I am not sure yet what I want to do. Is it selfish of me to ask for more time? I do know that I miss you. I would really like to have my friend back if even for a day." Koushi was nodding frantically before he finished speaking, before he could think about it too much, Koushi reached a trembling hand out, needing the reassurance of his friend's warmth. Sawamura grabbed his hand, pressing it to his chest, stepping closer, the two of them in a warm intimate bubble. "Now, Sugawara what's this about quitting the volleyball team. Why would you think that?"
"No reason. I just know you love volleyball. I didn't want to be the reason you quit. You've been so distant; I didn't want to pressure you. We are friends but we are also soulmates, but first and foremost, I want you happy. I thought if you wanted to quit that I would step down first. You are a much better player than I am. I know you'll be captain one day; I just don't want to be the reason-" Koushi started rambling. Sawamura pulled his hand off of Koushi's on his chest and pressed it against his mouth, stopping the rambling and possibly Koushi's breath.
"Volleyball is fun because you are there. I like playing with you. I like your sets. You give me great tosses. I am only good because of your help. If you are so certain that I will be captain eventually, then I know you'll be vice-captain." Sawamura said. Koushi could feel the wetness pool in his eyes. "You can't leave me alone just yet. You keep saying we are soulmates. You're right. Believe in us, we'll find our stride. Now come on, we got to get changed for practice." Sawamura ruffled Koushi's hair and walked off. Koushi lingered, hand absentmindedly rubbing his hair, 'You idiot. You say things like that and expect me not to fall in love with you.' Koushi smiled, soft and sad before setting off after his friend.
Saturday's train ride to their usual meeting place was nerve racking. Koushi wasn't sure how to act. 'This isn't a date. We are just friends, hanging out for lunch on a Saturday.' Koushi ignored the fact he spent three hours getting ready, so he looked the perfect match of casual yet well dressed. When they met up, they decided to do some shopping and then go to lunch, both of them having a few things they needed to get. They were enjoying their day, just as they did before they were soulmates. The only difference was Koushi tried not to think of what a real date with Sawamura would be like.
"Sawamura, I never really answered you the other day. I will give you all the time in the world. Take the time you need to reach the answer you want. We may be soulmates, but you deserve to be happy no matter what happens." Koushi took a couple deep breaths. Sawamura waiting patiently. "I have one request." Koushi said, voice small and shaky. They were at lunch, a good time to bring up his request.
"Sugawara, you can ask me for anything. I will always do my best to grant it." Sawamura said.
"I want you to call me by my first name. We are best friends, and technically soulmates. It wouldn't be that weird. I just feel odd, thinking and calling you Sawamura. I want to call you Daichi." Koushi looked up at him, eye wide, brown and bright. His cheeks were pink from the slight chill in the air, or so he told himself. He tensed waiting for an answer, fidgeting with his fingers.
Sawamura pretended to think for a moment, watching Sugawara squirm and fidget. "That is it? That is all you wanted? I think, that is an easy request. Koushi, I appreciate your patience. I know you've been trying to smooth things that have rough, but I just don't know where I stand you. It is a me problem, I just need more time."
"I'll give you all the time you need." Koushi nodded. 'I'll give you anything you'd need.' True to his word, Koushi did not question Sawamura again.
The day continued as planned, they went to lunch after doing some shopping. They went to a movie after a short discussion. They spent the day together and true to Koushi's word, he never brought it up again.
When their second year began, Kiyoko was well aware of the tension between Sawamura and Sugawara. They hid it well when the newest first years came round for the club. Their reputation however preceded them and the while the volleyball club wasn't the most popular, the second years were known for being considerate and caring but also fiercely protective of anyone who feel into their circle. Kiyoko had struggled at the beginning of the year with overly eager admirers. they stepped in and within hours, Koushi was one of the most feared students in any year. Koushi was seen as a school treasure, always willing to help out but also willing to mess things up if needed, Asashi was seen as a timid giant but unapproachable due to social anxiety but a monster on the court, Sawamura was the wholey admired boy next door type who everyone dreamed of having in their lives.
One warm day, the team on a water break, the large number of first years split into a calm reliable sector and a chaotic dependable sector. Kiyoko was talking to Koushi when he trailed off. The second-year hitter for the Girls' team was standing in the doorway, talking with Sawamura.
"I know that look. I see that look in the mirror every day." Koushi murmured. "She likes him. Guess I have to man up earlier than expected." Koushi took a deep breath, Kiyoko watched him shut off his emotions as he exhaled. "Can you help move practice along? We should give them some privacy." Koushi and the current captain (who was captain in only name) restarted practice. Kiyoko watched him rub his shoulder where she knew where his soul mark was. 'I want him happy, no matter the cost or damage to me. His happiness means everything to me.'
Months passed. Practices went by, and so did tournaments. The Karasuno Crows were deemed flightless. After the Interhigh, Daichi was appointed captain, Koushi, vice-captain. They weren't allowed to linger in their disappointment, their team was too eager to win. They began looking at the upcoming middle schoolers, But Asahi was trying to step down-but Nishinoya wasn't letting him-not wanting to hold the team back. Koushi did his best to support Daichi and (Kiyoko told him who she was the first day they saw her) Michimiya Yui.
Koushi came to his own conclusion. 'Just because we are soulmates, doesn't mean he loves me back. My job is to support him. We are platonic soulmates. Michimiya is better suited for him as a romantic partner anyway, she was a wonderful person, great student and an excellent volleyball player.' Koushi took it upon himself to do his cosmic duty, shut down his feelings and pushing Daichi where he needed to go. He would step graciously aside or violently push Daichi where he needed in order to be happy.
What Koushi missed was Daichi's hurt and confusion the more he cancelled or remembered last minute plans, or waving of Daichi's protests, bringing Michimiya up more often than not. Koushi ignored his soul crying out as he stepped further and further away, his heart breaking as his pushed his soulmate away. But he couldn't stand by while they grew closer, just this little bit made him sick to his very cells.
"Daichi, I can cleanup by myself. You go see Michimiya." 'Stay with me.'
"Daichi, I won't be able to make it to lunch. I have some notes to copy. Tell Michimiya I said hi." 'Study with me.'
"Michimiya is coming, you should go talk to her." 'I want you all to myself.'
"Walk Michimiya to the station" 'I miss sleeping in your bed.'
"Daichi, carry Michimiya's bag." 'Why can't that be me standing next to you?'
Daichi felt his right side grow cold without Koushi by his side.
"Kiyoko, can I borrow you for a minute?" Daichi asked one day. "I thought we fixed this? He is more distant than ever before." They were third years and what little bit of time he was able to spend with Koushi revolved around volleyball. Daichi jaw and shoulders hurt from all the tension he was carrying around, being captain was no joke and most of the team was more troublesome than children.
"Daichi, I really don't want to get in the middle of this. All I will say is he wants you happy." Kiyoko shook her head and went to record the spikes that were hit with the new hand signals. Daichi watched as Koushi went over them one more time with Hinata and Kageyama both quiet and focused only like they were when volleyball was involved. When done, Daichi met him on the side of the court where they watched Kageyama set, Hinata spike and Nishinoya receive.
"Michimiya, is purely a friend. She is a nice warm funny woman, but she has a soulmate, a second year on the girls' volleyball team. Michimiya has been panicking over it all year. You have no reason to be pushing us closer together. We are as close as we will ever be. You are meant to stand by me in everything, not push me into the arms of every girl who says more than two words to me." Daichi chuckled. He was trying to keep the mood light, prevent Koushi from running away.
"Daichi, I don't think I can do this anymore." Koushi said, voice rough like broken glass.
"What, Koushi? Volleyball? You can't quit now. We need you." Daichi said. He turned fully to Koushi the practice forgotten. Panic thrumming through his body, maybe he was too late, the damage too deep and ragged.
"Not this. I have been stewing in my feeling for three years. I told you one day a long time ago, I would never bring it up again. I am in love with you. I have been for three years. And then one day you came in, matching mark and all. You looked devastated. I couldn't stomach it. Seeing you look absolutely Wrecked like that? I promised myself I would never be the source of that again. I made my choice then; I would be in your life in whatever way I could. Even if that meant being the best damn wingman ever. I spent this last year, green with jealousy, venom in my veins. I wanted you happy. I was supposed to be your friend, but I couldn't. I tried my best, Daichi. I really did.” Koushi was shaking, hands pressing into his eyes, hunched over slightly.
“Koushi, I don’t understand. What are you talking about? Please. It sounds like you’re leaving. You can’t leave me.” Daichi said, unable to speak louder than a whisper.
Koushi straightened, wrapping his arms around himself like a hug. “Daichi, I will never leave you. I just can’t support you in those matters anymore. I tried so so hard. But watching you laugh at her jokes and help her with her bag or walk her home, all I could think the entire time, I wish that was me. But no. That can’t be me, cause the idea of us being soulmates made you so upset you were physically ill. So, I just kept shoving my feeling down further and further. Letting them fester like arsenic in my veins.” Koushi let out a small sob, hands flying up to cover his mouth. He stumbled back a few steps; eyes wide with panic.
"What if I wanted that to be you too?" Daichi' voice carried through the gym halting practice in its tracks. He followed Koushi's retreat, closing the gap once more, reaching out to snag the front of his shirt, jerking him closer, knuckles white with stress. “No. You don’t get to talk like that and run away. I know you, Koushi. I have for years, every piece of you. And now you tell me that you’ve been hiding something from me.”
“Daichi-”
“Nope. My turn.” Daichi wasn’t a violent person by nature, he could help but shake Koushi a bit with the grip he had on his shirt. “Are you telling me right now, right here, that you have been harboring romantic feeling for me since we were first years and you never said anything?”
Daichi and Koushi were too loud and too close to realize the rest of the team was watching with bated breath. They never fought in the first place but with confessions, practice was but on pause.
“Yes.” Koushi answered. “I am in love with you. Have been since our first tournament. You did so well not just playing but being the foundation of the team. The legacy of the little giant kept us going for bit. It was after we were eliminated, you started making plans and reworking practices and following Old Man Ukai’s advice. You never gave up on us, you rebuilt this club.”
Daichi gaped for a bit, staring. “We didn’t know we were soulmates then.”
“No, we didn’t” Koushi laughed a little. “But I knew I was gay. Knew I was hella gay for you. Miracle I could string together a sentence. Ask Kiyoko, I was a mess for months.” Koushi reached up to pull Daichi’s hand off his shirt.
“When I found out our marks matched, I panicked cause I knew I liked you. But I didn’t know if you did. Asahi listened to me ramble for weeks about you. I could only think how to keep you in my life, and then you tell me that ‘we can be a little as much as I wanted.’” Daichi snarled the phrase as if it physically harmed him. "What was I supposed to do after that? I wasn't devastated you were my soulmate; I was nervous. I had a plan and then I had nothing! My soulmate, my forever rejected me even before I could ask. I was lost scared confused at what you wanted from me." Daichi
“Daichi, what-” Koushi was cut off again. Daichi finally letting go of his shirt to grab his hand.
“But me? I wanted everything you would give me. Have for years. But you have some sort of inferiority complex-”
“Oi!” Koushi was ignored.
“And tried to keep me at arm's length with a stupid misconceived idea that Michimiya and I are dating or want to date. Koushi, I make your lunch, I carry your bag. We share a bed during sleepovers. You have been thinking this whole time, this whole freaking time, that I liked Michimiya, that you weren’t good enough for me?!” Daichi slid his free hand around the back of Koushi’s head, resting his forehead against his. “Koushi, sweetheart, you have been the only one for me since New year. I was a little behind, but after you thoroughly threatened the idiots stalking Kiyoko, I knew I loved you. Our senpai was right back then. They knew we were meant to be romantic partners. ”
Koushi was speechless. The closeness, the endearment, the confession was almost too much. He blinked hard, “You love me. Not just because we are soulmates, you are in love with me?”
“Yes, Koushi. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Daichi murmured the words into Koushi’s temple, ignoring the trembling and hitching breaths. Pulling him tighter and closer to his chest. “Koushi, you can let go. I am right here. You’ll never been alone again.”
“I know. I love you too, Daichi. I have for so long. You’re mine. Finally.” Koushi pulled away from Daichi’s chest to beam at him, eyes wet with tears, nose red, face squished with the size of his grin.
Daichi couldn’t have stopped himself even if he wanted to. He ducked down and pressed his lips to Koushi’s a kiss in name only, for they were too busy smiling to do it properly.
They broke apart when the team began cheering loudly, shouts of “About damn time!” And “You owe me 2000 yen!” And complaints on their timing echoed through the gym.
“We are all happy for you.” Asahi clapped them on the back, giving them a quick squeeze.
“How about we call practice early and get some meat buns to celebrate?” Daichi called out. The team cheered again, scrambling to clean up. He never looked away from Koushi.
“Love you, Daichi.” Koushi leaned up to press another kiss to the corner of Daichi’s mouth just because he could and turned to go help.
“You missed.” Daichi said as he pulled Koushi back into the circle of his arms by his hand. They kissed once more time, in the gym they fell in love surrounded by the team they built.
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saundraswriting · 2 years
Text
Misconstructed
SUMMARY: Stiles and Derek have known each other for years. Stiles fell firmly head over heels for the man who saved his friend during an epileptic event. When he learned he was a magical conduit called a Spark and the door to being a member of Derek's pack opened, Stiles was ready to rush through it. But he waited, wanting to be someone Derek wanted in his pack, Stiles wanted to earn his spot. Derek didn't know how to tell Stiles that he was welcome, had been welcome since Scott had been bitten, but all conversations were turned on their head when Stiles was involved. Then he was gone, off to earn his degree and Derek waited for his return, putting his affection for the young man on the back burner. Talia could see what they were missing and decided to take matters into their own hands.
WARNINGS: No hale fire (does that need a warning?)
NOTES: This is my sterek secret santa gift for @inatshej I finally got around to posting it on tumblr, better late than never.
Ao3 // Main Masterlist // Twitter
When Stiles was 18, he feel in love for the first time. At the age of 22- standing in the local grocery store debating between kettle cooked and baked BBQ chips- Stiles realized he never feel out of it. He watched from the corner of his eye as Derek Hale, paramedic and Alpha in training of the Hale pack snapped at the person on the other side of the heated phone call. Stiles prayed silently that his pulse stayed steady as Derek huffed a sigh. The four years since stiles had seen him did nothing to lessen Derek's good looks. The Alpha power settled well into his jawline and broad shoulders. Derek had always been good looking but now he was almost criminally good looking.
Stiles spent more than enough time with the Hales, and he could sympathize with Derek's frustration especially when Laura was involved. Stiles had spent most of his high school years priming his spark into the beginnings of his witch craft. When senior year came, to appease Talia Hale her husband Michael and his own father Stiles followed his dream to get a masters of Business degree for his own shop one day and along the way he chose to get a teaching certificate to sub for the elementary school if needed.
"Stiles? Is that you? You're back? why didn't anyone tell me?" Derek sounded slightly hurt by being kept out of the loop. Stiles blinked, coming back to the current moment. Stiles could almost smell the sour tinge to his woodsy scent, he just refrained from wrinkling his nose in distaste.
"Derek! Hey, yeah I am back. I graduated this semester but had a couple TA things to finish up so I stayed an extra couple weeks. I officially have my master's in business and teaching with a focus on English and History. So I can run a shop and maybe sub every so often for Beacon Hills School District. I had a gen-ed class that led to me finding teaching really fun but not fun enough to give up my craft. I like kids but not that much. And Math is scary. I barely know it how am I supposed to teach it? The teaching thing added a year to my schooling but it worked out well enough in the end." Stiles said. "And no one didn't really not tell you because I have only been back for like a week. I found a place but it needs a little work, so I am staying with dad while he calls in some favors for me. I have been trying to hide while the shop is fixed up a bit and I can get settled into the apartment above it." Stiles tried to smother the anxious edge in his flowery lilac and sharp magical scent before it got too thick, Derek had the best nose of the entire Hale pack. Stiles didn't miss Derek taking a deeper breath, reading his nervousness in his scent.
"How are you doing taking over the pack instead of your sister? How is everyone?" Stiles tried to change the subject, wanting to move on but not wanting Derek to go just yet.
"We're doing fine. You haven't been home in a while, you missed the new members getting invited in the spring. A few of them you know, I think. They came on Scott's recommendation, last year. The three of them quickly accepted once they heard the benefits. You'll have to come around soon to re-meet everyone." Derek tried to smile but it fell a little flat. The nerves Stiles was unable to smother fully growing again. Stiles had always been receptive to others emotions and since the beginning of the conversation, Derek had seemed disappointed in Stiles.
Derek, smelling the yet to leave nerves and seeing Stiles tense up more the longer the conversation goes on, pulls out his phone. "Is your number still the same? Do you need mine? I can shoot you a text for when the next get-together is." Stiles scent turns even more, stinking up the aisle they are in. Unbidden, Derek reached out to touch Stiles' shoulder wanting to reassure and soothe the man in front of him.
'Did he get rid of my number? I haven't been gone that long, have I? Is he upset I was away? I want to be an asset for him, not a hinderance.' Stiles took a slow breath trying to calm down knowing his scent had developed to rotten flowers, Scott told him his anxiety made his scent sour and gross. "Um. My number should be the same." Stiles peeked quickly at the contact info and nodded once. "Yep, that 's me. Just text me whenever or Laura can, whatever. I-uh-have to get going, dad is expecting me soon." Stiles without waiting for a response hurried to the checkout, resolving to go shopping tomorrow to get the rest of his list.
Derek watched him go, the sour smell of rotten flowers lingering behind. 'Did I say something wrong? Stiles has always been sensitive to others emotions. I wasn't the reason he was so nervous, right?' Derek asked himself. He sighed and hurried through his shopping, wanting to get home and ignore what happened.
Stiles pulled into his childhood home's driveway, hands barely full, walking into the kitchen to drop off his bounty. John was sitting at the table. He could see from the slump of his shoulders, Stiles was ruminating on what had happened.
"Stiles, son. Everything okay?" John asked hesitant.
"Dad, I saw Derek today." Stiles spoke directly to the groceries. John raised an eyebrow at his son's back. "He looks good. The Alpha power settled nicely. He looks good."
"Yes, He is doing well. Talia said he will be a wonderful Alpha. He is a fantastic paramedic as well. A real town treasure." John said, studying his son.
"Yeah, I bet he has girls tripping over themselves right now. I'm glad he is doing well. He invited me to the next get-together, saying how the pack has some new members, I should meet." Stiles said. He finished putting groceries away. "I didn't get everything on the list. I got distracted. I'll go tomorrow and finish. I think I am going to take a nap." John watched in silence as Stiles went up the stairs. He waited until he heard the door open and shut before pulling out his phone.
“Talia, Stiles just came home. Told me he saw Derek at the store. I don't think their reunion went very well."
"Derek came home smelling faintly of Stiles. But it was a sour anxious smell. I know Derek has been in love with him for years, but he seemed sad, like he did something wrong. I will talk to him and let you know what I find out." Talia said on the other side of the call.
"I was the first person Stiles told, when he decided to pursue his craft to be an asset for the Future Hale pack. He studied all through high school and university to hone his spark and be an emissary, and be useful in the future. He didn't spend almost 5 years of his life to quit now. Maybe they are needing some time to get reacquainted with each other." John said. Talia hummed in agreement.
"Let's give them both some time to get used to the idea of each other. If we push too hard this will backfire. Stiles would make a lovely Alpha Mate and Emissary to the pack. He keeps Derek in check like no one else can and Derek helps keep Stiles grounded. They love each other, we just are going to help them see it. I will talk to you later, Sheriff. Have a good night." Talia bid him goodbye before disconnecting the call. John leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling or rather the floor of his son's bedroom. He prayed for his happiness.
Two and half months later, Stile and John had been to two of the pack full moon parties. Stiles getting more and more comfortable each time, especially when he realized the new members of the Hale pack were Lydia Martin-a recently discovered Banshee, Erica Reyes-an once-epileptic who petition for the bite (a seizure in high school had lead to Stiles seeing Derek in acting as a paramedic and falling in love and never recovering), Vernon Boyd-who was asked to take the bite by Derek and Issac-A born wolf who's adopted dad abused him and petition to join the pack. Stiles knew them all from high school, and was incredibly happy they had found a family in the Hale's. They joined Scott-who was bit by a rough alpha sophomore year his mate Alison-a huntress from a strict code following family, Jackson-who had been possessed by a homicidal lizard and needed the bite to break the link. The rest of the Hale family made up the pack: Talia and Micheal, Laura, Derek, Cora, their uncle Peter and cousin Malia.
Stiles's craft shop/apartment/emissary base had finally been deemed livable by everyone and he had finished settling in a few days prior. He had officially moved out of his dad's house and bloomed into a full-fledged adult. He already had a steady following of patrons from his university days, connections formed over the past few years, and the blog he had been managing in his free time. While Stiles had an innate spark in him, he knew that classic witchcraft was nothing to look down upon, manifestation and intention and ingredients all had their own powers. The first day he was open, several dozen people from neighboring towns came in for orders they had placed or last minute items. He was also visited by the Hale Alpha and Alpha Mate and kids.
"Alpha Hale, good to see you. How are you doing? Did you need something?" Stiles asked from the corner of the shop, he was stocking books and journals and the like. "Oh! Derek! Laura! Welcome to Clear Intentions."
"Thank you Stiles. We don't need anything from the shop, but rather we need you. and Dr. Deaton, if we can convince him to come. We have a pack coming from a few states away that have been dealing with a monster problem and some problems with gardens. They are coming to petition us for help-that unless the two of you deem otherwise-we will be giving. Based off the information, it is a Wendingo or maybe a dream-eater. We wanted the two of you to be at the meeting. Alan is my emissary, retired or not and...Well...." Talia trailed off. Derek stepped forward, Stiles gaze locking on instantly.
"Stiles, I Alpha in training of the Hale Pack of Beacon Hills, request you as my emissary for now until fate pulls us apart. I have been wanting to ask you for ages, not only does my pack know and respect you but I do as well. I held back from asking, knowing you wanted to better you skills and grow as a person. I have thought about this for years, I have no one else I want to ask. I need...no..want you as my emissary. Will you accept my offer and become a member of my pack?" Derek asked. Stiles blinked, He didn't know what his face looked like but knew his mouth was hanging open because his lips were drying out. Stiles closed it, licking his lips to moisten his mouth.
"Well. that is honestly an offer I can say I never saw coming. Alpha Hale, you agree with this?" Stiles didn't look away from Derek.
"Never doubted it for a second. I will say Stiles, I have no say over this decision. I can only recommend someone, I can't tell the next Alpha of the pack who to chose. This is all Derek." Talia said. Stiles could tell she was smiling, could hear the laughter in her voice.
"Alpha Derek, I will say this. I accept on a provisional base. I will be your emissary completely through this mission, and the next year. I will work on bettering my Spark, and my business and training your pack. At the end of the year, we can reevaluate or dissolve this agreement. I will also step aside, if you find a better fit, or someone else you would like to reach the offer of Emissary to. In return, I get to advertise that I am your emissary and all the pack affiliate benefits that come with that. Think fake dating to put a show on for your ex." Stiles voiced his terms, like this wasn't news he hadn't been working for years to hear. Derek blinked at him blankly.
"What? Are my terms unsatisfying to you?" Stiles questioned. He breathed evenly to keep his heart rate even, unsure as to why he was acting aloof when everyone in the room knew he would say yes.
"No, I am amicable to the terms. I am more surprised at he existence of said terms. Stiles, you have to know-" Derek cut himself off, shaking his head. "Thank you for your help. I'll call you when we know more, okay?" Derek's eyes crinkled at the corners with his smile. Stiles felt himself relax. Stiles nodded and the Hales all left.
Stiles finished stocking his shelves and did some bookkeeping trying to ignore his rude behavior to the Hales. 'Ever since I discovered my Spark, I wanted to be a member of the Hale Pack, and once my chance comes, I throw it away with useless conditions. What happens when someone better comes along and Derek asks them to take you place?'<\em> Stiles inner voice had always been ruthless. 'You maybe in love with that Alpha to be, but he certainly ins't in love with you, and you know the Emissary is a candidate for mating when the times comes. Are you going to be able to step away from all of that if it came to it?' <\em>Unbidden Derek's face while laughing came to mind. 'Yes. If he was happy, with no hesitation.' <\em>Stiles almost believed himself.
Less than a week went by before Derek contacted Stiles. He wanted him to stay the night at the Hale House for when the other pack arrived the next day. Stiles agreed, after closing up shop he packed a small bag grabbed his craft kit and headed to the House. Over the summer, the Pack had grown unbelievably close in a very small time. Stiles tried to keep his feelings for Derek that he had been harboring for years in check but seeing him grow the ragtag pack of college kids into a well piled pack wasn't helping. Stiles could almost see himself standing by Derek side as their pack accepted the mantle of protector Talia would be passing down. Derek was a wonderful Alpha in training, His authority remained unquestioned pardon Stiles but that was few and far between. He led the younger betas with grace and poise. Stiles was in awe every time the pack met for training. They all got along, working together to be better. The House was tucked on the edge of the Beacon Hills Preserve, giving the pack the privacy they needed and their car's shocks the workout they needed.
"Stiles! How are you?" Derek climbed off the porch coming to a stop by Stiles' jeep. Stiles was apologizing to his beloved Roscoe. Derek paused, knowing the fond, affectionate smile he was unsuccessfully trying to smother was evident.
Stiles turned around to make his way inside and jumped violently, cracking his funny bone off the door of Roscoe. "Shit! Holy fuck, that hurt." Stiles spit out between gritted teeth. "Why is it called a funny bone anyway? This is far from funny. I can't believe it. You are a menace to society. Why in god's name would you creep up on me out of the blue like that? Creeper-wolf." Stiles ranted as he rubbed his elbow, he could fell the small bump that would most definitely bruise.
"I apologize. I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright? Let me see." Derek didn't wait for an answer before gently taking Stiles elbow, black veins sliding up his arm.
"Hey, you don't have to heal that. It is just an owchie. I've survived worse." Stiles tried to pull away with limited results-limited to nothing happening. Derek huffed, Stiles could tell he was amused though. He wasn't sure how.
"What is the point of having this ability if I can't use it on the people I care about?" Derek locked eyes with Stiles. Stiles was frozen, He felt like he was missing something. Derek was making unnecessary eye contact, like he was trying to say something. After a too-long of a second, Derek let go. He grabbed Stiles' bag leaving the Spark reeling by his jeep. Stiles unsteadily walked in, resolving to speak to Lydia or Alison or even Erica about what happened and get some womanly intuition to help sort out the tangle in his chest.
The next day around 2 in the afternoon, Stiles was watching an impromptu sparring match freeze and the entire pack swivel as almost one to the woods, instinctively they drew up in a circle around the human members. Stiles in response called his spark to his fingers, wanting to be ready.
"Hello! We mean no harm. We are the Dalton Pack from Montana. We came to Petition Help from the Hale Pack. May we cross the boundary?" A confident woman's voice came from just beyond the tree line.
Derek looked at his mother for the go ahead. Derek stepped forward, breaking the circle. Stiles stepped with him, wanting to show a united front. Derek shot him a small glare, Stiles winked in return. "I am Alpha-to-be Derek Hale. I speak for my mother and my pack when I say you are welcome as long as your intentions are honest and true. Please step forward so we may greet you properly."
The Dalton pack was small indeed, if the members standing in front of them were all they had. 6, two women and 4 men. They seemed young and skittish. Stiles could see why they came to the Hales if a true Wendingo was terrorizing them.
"Come in, We have lunch on the table. We can talk after we all had our fill." Talia stepped forward, handling the introductions. THe Daltons were only Daltons for they inherited the pack land and name after a while of them living on it and realizing they we from different places and pulled to the location. Sarah Dalton was the Alpha, Her second in command was Remi. Who was mated to Ashley. then the last two boys: Thomas and Robert were mates as well.
Lunch started out stilted, Awkward silences punctuating the hesitant conversations. Slowly with Stiles and Scott's lifelong friendship leading the way, the packs began chatting and bantering. Any food with a gaggle of hungry teenagers would disappear in minutes but with a pack and then some of hungry werewolves the food was gone in seconds. Everyone lingered over empty cups and plates as they all swapped tales of things that go bump in the night. Scott regaled the table with stories of their misadventures, basking in the second hand amazement of Stiles figuring out his Lycanthropy all by himself.
"I was bitten by a rouge Alpha a few years ago. I was clueless, and scared but also reckless and uncaring. My whole life had gotten turned around in bad day. Stiles refused to let me give up though, refused to let me think that this was a bad thing. He learned how to find an anchor and work through my emotions to prevent unwanted changes. He is pretty stellar." Scott was saying.
"Dude, you make it out like I did all the work. I just used my totally awesome google-fu skills and the scientific method. You were the one who actually did the leg work. Enough about me though. Let's get this party started, I'm taking bets." Stiles clapped his hands and pushed away from the table, the others quickly following suit.
The days passed with the Dalton pack learning from the Hale pack, discussions of how to proceed with the Wendigo problem. Sarah and Derek were flourishing as young Alphas. the packs playing well together. Then one day, dinner came and with it the announcement for the Wendingo.
"Attention everyone. I know you are all hungry and tired but this is important. As the full moon grows closer, we get stronger but so does the Wendingo. We will be leaving tomorrow. I appreciate all of you, and I expect all of you to do your best to end this terrible entity but also protect one another, the Dalton Pack and the people we are going to save. When we get there we will be relying heavily on Sarah and Stiles. We will need the Dalton's expertise on their pack lands. Stiles, will be doing as he always does." Derek smiled. "I am really hoping we won't need any of you 11th hour saves." I want everyone packed by tomorrow, we will be driving out. Now, let's eat." Derek ended his instructions to a chorus of affirmations. When dinner finished up everyone began racing around trying to pack their things, the house was full of chatter and ruckus.
"Lydia, can I share your curling iron? I don't want to pack mine. That seems a little overkill." Erica mused.
"Yeah, as long as you don't hog it." Lydia called back. Erica whooped.
"Are you really going to curl your hair for a Wendingo hunt?" Issac was quickly cut off.
"You never know when a woman's feminine wiles will get you out of trouble, my friend." "or into it" Scott mumbled, he grunted when Alison hit his shoulder.
"Also We aren't hunting as soon as we get there. If I shower and curl my hair on the first day, I should be okay until my next wash day." Erica said, continuing if nothing happened.
"Oh! That is a good idea. With all of us, If i wash my hair before we leave, as long as we have water I can wash when we get there." The girls' conversation quickly devolved into the debates of weekly or biweekly hair washing. The boys handled packing a bag of weapons for the token huntress and emissary in case something goes south.
"Stiles, can you tell me what you want packed." Scott said, opening the weapons cupboard. Stiles walked over pulling out a duffle bag and nudging Scott out of the way.
"You can't pack it. We need lots of silver. I need Silver stakes, knives, and axes. We haven't really talked about the Wendingo, but this will not be easy in any sense of the word. We need to stake the frozen heart, remove it and bury it in a silver box in a church cemetery. While someone removes the heart, the body need to be covered in salt and then burned, afterwords the ashes need scattered. They can control ice storms and tornadoes as well." Stiles said while packing the bag with silver weapons. It will definitely be the buddy system upon arrival. With a typical bait and kill tactic. We will only have one chance at this." Stiles swung a few knives, testing the reach and weight. Once satisfied, Stile zipped the bag up and hung a 'no wolves' tag to prevent unwanted injury. "Pack warmly kids, we will be a bit farther north than you are used to, not to mention the uncontrollable winter storms we may be fighting through. You may heal but hypothermia will kill you." Stiles spoke a bit louder than normal, waiting for the noises of agreement. He didn't want to think about why the hale pack treated his words as seriously as Derek's but they did.
Stiles creeped up the stairs, or creeped as well as he could in a house full of werewolves, coming to a stop outside of Derek's room. He had checked and double checked all the bags, vetoing the unnecessary things and adding some here and there. He had the betas pack the two cars with the bags and coolers of snacks for a seamless transition for the drive. He opened his mouth to speak, unsure why Derek hadn't called out to him already.
"I really want to, mom. They would be a great fit. There wouldn't be an issue with authority or camaraderie. The position of Emissary would be a perfect fit, I wish I had pressed more when we offered it the first time. The hesitation was unlike them. I don't know how to convince them this is what we both want. I want them even more than just my emissary." Derek sighed, Stiles knew from the heaviness he was rubbing his face in distress. Stiles peered around the door frame, his body moving on its own. Derek was facing the door, talking to his mother, looking lost and heartbroken. Stiles knew when he agreed to this with those stupid terms that he very well could be replaced but now he had played as Derek's emissary for too long, he had spent too much time with the pack. He had gone through the territory, casting his own charms and wards. He was the one in love with Derek and wanted to be his mate, but too scared to say anything. 'This is your own fault.' <\em>Stiles tried to calm down, he knew his must look a sight, chest heaving, face blanching, eyes wide and glassy.
"Stiles. You weren't supposed to hear that. Please. Wait. Breathe." Derek reached out, trying to placate him.
"I um-uh-i have to go. Plan a surprise party. For my dog." Stiles swallowed compulsively, unable to moisten his mouth. He could feel his heart breaking. 'Even when replacing me with someone better, he cares about me.' "I will see you tomorrow." Stiles didn't wait, just bolted down the stairs. He didn't get very far when he felt his wrist get snatched.
"Nope. You are not leaving me like that. We are going to talk this out like adults. We can talk in my room. I am not letting you leave while misunderstanding this. I have been quiet for much too long." Derek used his grip to pull Stiles along, passing a grinning Talia on the stairs.
"Why is your mom looking at me like that? it makes me kind of nervous." Stiles said.
"Probably has something to do with how she know I am as in love with you as you are in love with me. She has know for years, she finally decided to push me in the right direction after getting sick of my pining." Derek opened the door, pushing Stiles onto his bed, carefully laying his bulk on Stiles, holding him down.
"What? Wait, What? What?" Stiles heard his brain snap in half.
"I thought you were the smart one. I have been in love with you since I was 22 and saved Erica during a seizure. You were so scared-not of her but for her. I knew then that I would never find anyone else. You were trying to hard to take care of her, she had been having multiple seizures that day, before you finally called 911. You had shortly from then found out about your spark, I wanted to invite you into the pack then." Derek said.
"I have been in love with you since I was 18 and saved Erica when I called 911 after she had several seizures and I thought she was going to die. You assured me she wouldn't. You told me I had done well and I was a goner. I decided to hone my spark, learn business and getting a teaching certificate. I love kids and wanted to teach even a bit. I also wanted to be an asset for your pack. I didn't think I was ready which is why I came up with those stupid terms for being your emissary. I wanted to try to distance myself, in case someone better came along." Stiles began crying.
"You mean to tell me, I can be your emissary for real? The one thing I want in life, I get to have?"
"Absolutely. As long as you answer one more question for me." Derek said, thumbs brushing away Stiles' tears. Stiles nodded, trying to breath normally. "Will you also become my mate. I want no one else. I will want no one else. We can start running the pack together like I have been hoping for years." Derek looked at Stiles intently, eyes lit from within with pure love and adoration.
"Yeah. I would love to be your mate and emissary." Stiles gave Derek a weak, watery smile. Derek ginned back. "Can we just lay here for a little bit? I am not ready to face the others just yet."
A few hours later, they returned to the downstairs, Stiles instantly noticed the unpacked bags in doorways. The rest of the pack sat moping around the table. "What is going on?" Stiles asked accepting the hot chocolate handed to him by Scott. He gave him a small but genuine smile in return.
"I would like to introduce my cousin, Sarah. She is the alpha of the Dalton pack but they are a large well established pack without a wendingo problem. I may have recruited her to help lie to all of you in order for Derek to finally make a move. And it worked. Congradualtions Stiles and Derek. Our Alpha Mates at last. Only took four years but better late than never." Talia clapped, giggling to the silent table.
"My dad was in on this too wasn't he. Also Laura takes after you. Third, I think I need a nap." Stiles rubbed his temples, too drained to say much.
"Mom, I...what?" Derek gaped at her. "This was all a lie? Just to get me and Stiles together?"
"Also to test your Alpha abilities. Good job, hun. This full moon will be very important. You will be mated, Stiles will become your emissary and you will be inducted as Alpha of the Hale pack as I will be stepping down." Talia explained more in depth.
Her news this time was met with thunderous applause from the entire table. Everyone cheering for the two dumbfounded adults in the middle of everyone. Stiles and Derek just shared a glance. Derek pulled him in, pressing a soft warm kiss to his lips. "This is our future, are you ready?"
"I have been ready for years. You and i until the end of time, Derek. The question is, are you ready?" Stiles pressed a kiss to Derek's temple.
"Born ready. Bring it on." Their private bubble was broken by Issac and Scott yelling about no PDA where people eat breakfast. Stiles and Derek pulled away from each other to chase the boys around with exaggerated kissy faces and demands for affection.
17 notes · View notes
saundraswriting · 2 years
Text
Sharing the Burden
SUMMARY: Shouyo hides his oncoming seasonal affective disorder symptoms from live in boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio. Over time, a mild depressive episode begins and Tobio finds Shouyo hasn't been taking care of himself. Tobio decides to take matters into his own hands.
WARNINGS: depression episode
NOTES: Made this one shot for a friend on twitter who was having a bad day.
Ao3 // Main Masterlist // Twitter
Shouyou hasn't left his bed in a few days. The message read. Natsu sighed and looked out her window The seasons had begun to change. She knew her brother, knew him better than anyone, including his rival turned best friend turned boyfriend. As such sometimes Tobio-nii still needed her help. High school was always too busy then they were separated by an ocean. Natsu thought that maybe Shouyou had figured it out, how to deal with this... Apathy and numbness and listlessness that seemed to hit him every so often.
She was wrong, Shouyou didn't learn anything more. He just grinned and hid and kept busy. The only difference now was she was older, wiser and more observant, and Shouyou had Tobio-nii. In an other life Shouyou would be pushing himself harder, trying to smother his feelings in boots of productivity. Tobio however taught him the meaning of self-care. An episode of over- working and fever costing Shouyou too much. Natsu fingered her phone trying to think of a response. Shou-bro sometimes gets like this. For as long as I can remember. This is from no fault of yours. He should get over it in a couple days. This time of year is often spent like this. She texted back. She went back to her studies, knowing Tobio will respond when he wants to and not a second later.
Tobio stared at the lump that was his boyfriend. Or rather what Tobio was assuming was his boyfriend under a pile of blankets in a room with dirty clothes on the floor and random bottles cans and Chip and other misc. Trash things loitering around. His usual sunshine incarnate boyfriend was laid up with an unusual apathy and emptiness that Tobio cart recall seeing before. Shouyou hadn't left their bed in the few days Tobio had been gone, working on some sponsorship deal things. When he left Shouyou seemed energetic and cheerful now he looked greasy and miserable. “That's fine. But we do need food and stuff. So let me go and you can stay here. Maybe you could get a bath? Or some water?” Tobio suggested before pressing a kiss to Shouyou's temple.
"I'll try. I don't know, I just want to lay here, I can't seem to find any motivation. Not for volleyball or my shows or even to brush my teeth. I love this time of year but I always get so down round now.” Shouyou seemed frustrated, voice thick eyes screwed shut.
"Sweetheart, your fine. We all have bad days I just wish I could help you more? If you think of anything at all let me know I'm heading out, maybe we can do a quiet night in."
"That sounds perfect. Thank you so much, love. I'll call you or text if I think of anything. Now, go on. We need food and you are the only one between the two of us who can go”
Tobio pressed another kiss to Shouyou's temple and left. As soon as he cleared the door, Tobio tried using google to figure out some helpful tips for coping with Shouyou's symptoms. He then called Kozume-senpai. He knew Natsu didn't mean anything malicious when she said to wait it out but that sounded too much like abandoning Shouyou to deal with his problems on his own. Tobio couldn't allow that even as a friend let alone a boyfriend.
"Kozume-senpai, can you do me a huge favor?” Tobio began. He was hesitant to ask for even this much but even though Shouyou was his boyfriend, he had plenty of friends who would love to help him.
“Kageyama this is rather unusual. What can I do for you? Everything okay?' Kozume was soft spoken but Tobio had seen him rage at some of the more inappropriate viewers he has had.
“I know but I felt that this was rather necessary. Shouyou hasn’t gotten out of bed in a few days and I was hoping for some help. Natsu says that this happens sometimes especially around this time of year and what little bit I've read says each person is different. I wasn't sure if you could help. I was thinking that you could get him to go to your place so I could range some mutual friends into cleaning and rearranging the apartment. I was also hoping to get some self care things today.” Tobio hadn’t gotten far from their place, worry and uncertainty keeping him in place. Tobio rubbed his eyebrow in an attempt to self soothe, and stay focused.
"Kageyama that is a great idea. I'll see about getting him here right away. How about I book a cleaning service I use when my depression episodes get really bad. Some people get depressed at the season change and some get depressed when they are stressed and some people, like me have persistent episodes that take a medical regiment and therapy and years of practice. Shouyou has a lot on his plate some times that leads to burnout and rest days have to become rest weeks. The best thing to do is what he needs you to do. The numbness and lack of motivation is hard enough to deal with having a partner who can empathize or sympathize can make a world of difference. I'll call the cleaning service right now then I'll come pick Shouyou up. I'll bring him to my place. Kuroo and Bokuto-san, should be around. Maybe Miya-san and his germaphobe fiancé could help. I’ll leave the shopping to you. Then when you have the apartment ready, we can meet up and you can fuss over him all night.” Kozume spoke confidently about his experiences making Tobio more sure in his decision to call him.
"Thank you so much. I am thinking my shopping shouldn't be more than a couple hours. I'm going to call the others. Maybe we can meet while I shop. I think I'm going to need the extra hands. Anyway please let me know what the cleaning service says about the rush job. Thanks again, Kozume-senpai. I appreciate all your help and I know Shouyou will once he sees the results.” Tobio said his good byes and hung up. He decided on calling Bokuto-san first, seeing as he is Shouyou's favorite, and mentor. When he was told that Tobio was calling to help surprise Shouyou who was feeling down lately, he eagerly agreed to meet Tobio while shopping. He even said he'd text Akaashi-San and the others to help.
“When my mood shifts heavily for a few days sometimes a small change can help maybe we can rearrange the apartment while we are there.” Bokuto-san's suggestion resonated with Tobio a memory from a conversation a long time ago.
“I love fall. I love when the air feels crisp. This is my favorite time of year. I get a little sluggish but when we open the windows and clean. The air and the house feel so clean and fresh. We don't necessarily do spring cleaning at my house. We do winter cleaning. The heater sometimes up to kicks much dust and mom and I can't breathe.” Shouyou explained when Tobio had come over to study for an English test and commented on the rearranged living room.
"Shouyou loves this time of year for things like that it'd remind him of home too. Let's do it. We’d have to be quick.” Tobio and Bokuto-san worked out the details. Tobio worried that they were doing too much but then remembered, Shouyou was the one who gave him a team and made Volleyball fun for him again. Shouyou brought his own personal light into Tobio's dark world. The least he could do, is share it back, Tobio set off to begin shopping.
Kenma knocked on the door several times but with no answer, he deemed it appropriate to use his spare key. He searched the kitchen and living room and saw it as Tobio said. Shouyou hadn't eaten or gotten out of bed in at least a couple days if not longer. "Shouyou? Where are you? I came to visit like we planned.”
"Kenma? What are you doing here? We didn't make plans for today. I'm sorry but I'm just not up for socialization today. Can you come back some other time?” Shouyou's voice came from the lump on the bed. He sound meek and tired. He tightened his blanket cocoon.
"No. I told you I'd drop you if you don't stay interesting. This is pitiful. Let's go. I won't allow you to squander your time in this filthy space. Get up. Get dressed. You are coming to my place, right now. You need a change of scenery, " Kenma grabbed the blankets and ripped them off. He froze upon seeing Shouyou. "Oh, Shouyou. We definitely need to talk. How long have you been dealing with this?”
Shouyou simply blinked his red-rimmed eyes at Kenma. His hair fell in greasy clumps matted to his head. He looked gaunt and pale, his hands trembling slightly. He looked small and lost and so unlike the Shouyou that ruled the beach courts in Rio or the Shouyou who beat Kageyama upon his awaited return.
"Kenma. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have no energy no matter how much I sleep, I can't find any motivation to do anything. I haven't eaten in days. Tobio wasn't around to force me to eat or get out of bed so I didn't but then it got easier to just stay in bed.” Shouyou sniffed like he was going to cry again.
Kenma took a deep breath and rested a hand on Shouyou's arm. “Shouyou. You're fine. Nothing is wrong with you. When you were in Rio you worked hard and practiced harder to to get to this point. When your entire life is made of go moments the pause time can become hard to break free of them. Don't worry, where you are having a single mild depressive episode, I have them regularly and have since high school, so I the have experience to help you get better. That means listen to me. Get your ass up and dressed. Brush teeth and let's go. I have someone coming to deep clean the apartment for you in a little while. We need to be out of here.” Kenna's voice held no room for debate. Shouyou sighed and opened his mouth to argue but inhaled a chip crumb, while slightly choking he decided that a little of change of scenery would do him some good.
"Fine, Kenma. I'll get ready to go. But I'm wearing sweats and you can't stop me.” Shouyou huffed. He climbed out from under the covers. When he stood up he swayed slightly from the head rush and his first couple steps were punctuated by cracking joints. Kenma kept his reactions to himself knowing Shouyou was already embarrassed by his state of being. Kenna simply moved to the closet while Shouyou made his way to the bathroom.
45 minutes later found Shouyou, tired and sluggish in Kenma and Kuroo doorway regretting agreeing to this idea. He was already wanting to take a nap. But he didn't want to be a bad guest. However when the smell of his favorite takoyaki and fried chicken reached his nose, Shouyou heard his stomach gurgle.
“Sho, no one can be happy all the time. I know this, Kuroo knows this, Kageyama knows this. We want to help you when life gets overwhelming, or your brain is telling you things that are not true, or your brain chemistry levels are out of wack. We'll be here. Now, let's eat some food and relax.”
"Thank you Kenma. I'm not sure what is actually wrong. I've felt like this before but it goes away in a couple days to a couple weeks. This is the first time, I haven't been busy with school or busy with volleyball though. I wasn't sure if it this is just my usual seasonal issues. I didn't want to bother Tobio but then one nap turned into a whole day in bed. I'm just feeling so bleh and I can't seem to shake it. I'm feeling so empty and tired and breathing sometimes is too much. Then I realize that time is still passing and I have so much to do. This is the first time, I've seen myself get this bad.” Shouyou seemed to shrink even more in on himself. He rubbed his eyes trying to hid the tears in the corner of his eyes. Kenma, not wanting to push his friend any more than he was, just took his elbow and led him to the source of the food.
"Eat. Then we'll play some games. I don't have a stream planned so its just you and me for a few hours. Once the cleaners are done, maybe we can see about taking you back home.” Kenma grinned brightly. He missed his friend, they had kept in close contact over the years. However nothing compared to in person quality time.
The food and promise of video games seemed to brighten Shouyou's mood. His gratitude came through with a brighter smile and the weight hunching his shoulders easing slightly. He grew bigger - spine straightening, laughter louder. Kenma and Shouyou spent the next several hours ignoring their personal responsibilities and pretending that one wasn't a world famous Volleyball player and the other a CEO/Influencer. They ignored the fact that they were there cause Shouyou was neglecting his self care and falling into a depressive episode. They came up for air once when Kenma got a confirmation text from the cleaners that Shouyou and Tobio's apartment was completely scrubbed, sanitized and stain free. Kenma stepped out to call Tobio.
“Kageyama, the cleaners are done cleaning. I had them leave the supplies for you. They cleaned the walls and furniture and the futons and the bed. They even steamed and sterilized to get rid of any allergens. How is it going on your end?”
“Just fine. I got all of the groceries that we will need. Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san are going to help with the rearranging. Possibly Miya-san will join us. Can you keep him busy another couple hours? I'll come and get him.” Tobio requested, he sounded proud and light. “I don't like that Shouyou is feeling like this but I'm glad that I can shed some light on him. I'm happy I can give back some of the light I’ve taken from him. “
“He doesn't see it that way and you know that. He doesn't see your relationship as some thing that is given and taken between the two of you. You are his partner, in everything. You're helping your boyfriend when he is feeling low. You can t keep score in something like this. Just be there every time.” Kenna paused, aware he was lecturing. “Sorry. Your relationship isn't my business. I just know Shouyou told me he didn't want to bother you. Ill keep him busy. Text me when you finish.”
“You are right Kenma. I need to step up my emotional maturity. Thank you for telling me. I'll talk to him about this. I need to go and get started with rearranging the apartment. Later then, Kenma.” Tobio signed off and with a click was gone. Kenma stared at his phone, a smug smirk on his lips. Sometimes a little meddling was needed especially when it comes to close friends.
Kenma ducked back into his gaming room before his disappearance became suspicious. “Shouyou, you ready to lose again?” A bright laugh was heard as the door shut.
Tobio stared in awe at his apartment that practically gleamed and sparkled with cleanliness. He held 2 very full bags in his arms while Akaashi had one and Bokuto had four. Distractedly he put his bags on the kitchen counter, the other two following in just as awestruck.
“I don't think this place has ever been this clean. I'm almost speechless.” Tobio said,
“Damn. They are amazing. Remind me to get the name of the company.” Akaashi said. Tobio simply pushed over a small pile of business cards on a small thank you note with an invoice copy with Kenma’s billing info. Akaashi hummed and swiped one. “Thank you. With my deadlines and this one's travel,” nodding towards a busy unpacking Bokuto “We could use a dependable cleaning service.”
At that moment the door bell rang with a flower shop delivery announcement. When Tobio answered the door, Miya Atsumu and his fiancé and Hoshiumi were standing outside holding flowers and a couple bags. “Thank you for the flowers and picking up the things asked. I appreciate all of you helping out. I was lost when I realized Shouyou was more than taking a couple days to rest. Everything we got today and everything we do are things I've seen and learned help and are recommended by Natsu-chan and Shouyou's mother.” Tobio took a deep breath. “With that, let's start with moving the furniture.”
About two and half hours and 3 arguments and 1 snack break later, 5 sweaty Olympic athletes surveyed their hard work. They had beautifully rearranged the living room, bedroom, Office and guest bedroom. They set up the new decorations and put out the new flowers. They had plugged in the wax melters, changed the throw blankets in the living room, changed out the towels in the bathroom, switched the bed sheets and put up new curtains. All in all the apartment looked clean smelled wonderful and had a completely new vibe.
“Amazing. This place looks phenomenal. I really owe you.” Tobio bowed slightly.
“Tobio-kun, we are friends and teammates. You don't owe us anything. You would do the same if we needed it. Shouyou needs support when this happens. If this is what we can offer so be it. Shouyou can be too proud and too stubborn, help may only be accepted from behind the scenes like what we did today. Your job is to be there even when he says he is fine.” Akaashi said. The others made sounds of agreement and words of encouragement.
A few minutes later and the apartment was empty. Echoes of promises and warm good byes lingering as Tobio paced the apartment, looking for any thing they missed. Once he cleared the apartment he began prepping dinner. it was getting cold but Shouyou had a long and emotionally draining day. Tobio began prepping udon and pork and chicken. Once done Tobio sent Kenna a text, letting him know that he was leaving to go pick up Shouyou since they had finished the apartment and dinner was ready to be made.
The door to Kenna's place was pulled open by Kuroo. ”Shouyou! Your boyfriend is here.” Shouyou appeared, looking miles better than the last time Tobio saw him. His eyes were brighter, smile more natural and his skin didn't look like it was on too tight.
“Tobio! I missed you. Did shopping go okay? Sorry I didn't go with you. Kenma came to visit and demanded I come here because he was hiring cleaners." Shouyou stared at Tobio's empty arms. "You did go grocery shopping right? Have you been back then? How did it look? "
“Yes, I went shopping. Yes I dropped the bags before coming here. It looked great. We'll have to use them when we are gone. They did a great job. Now let's get going. I'm hungry.” Tobio said. Shouyou giggled. Tobio paused in helping him put his jacket on, realizing it had been almost a week since he had heard Shouyou's giggle. A small smile was aimed at Shouyou's hair. They were on the outside of the door swapping thank you's and goodbyes when Kenma tossed out “Both of you! Remember what I told you. Also don't be a stranger.”
Tobio and Shouyou waved and called out final good byes before making their way down the street in companionable silence. They didn't live an uncomfortable distance from Kenma but it seemed by mutual decision they would walk instead of taking the subway.
"Shouyou. You know that I love you, right? You don't have to hide from me. Please let me in on the good days but also the bad days. Keeping you healthy is important to me, that includes your mental health. I can't help if I don't know what's going on. I was away for the past couple days but this isn't something that happens over night.” Tobio bit out, he was hesitant in his words but not in his emotions.
“Tobio. I love you and I know you love me. I think this year not only was my seasonal depression hitting harder but I was unsure of a lot of things. I simply spiraled in my own over thinking. I'm aware it was a depressive episode but it seemed like at first, I could shake it off like previously. Then you were gone and I just kept sinking deeper into this... This emptiness. I wanted to do things. Especially so you wouldn't worry when you got home but then my mind just kept asking ‘what's the point.’ And I had no response. And no motivation.” Shouyou trailed off brows furrowed and jaw clenched.
“We're a team you and me. I have bad days too. And we know you have them. Do you understand that it is okay to not be okay? We may be Star athletes but we are only human and when you have to spend days fighting your own brain to simply exist, it can be overwhelming. We can only do what we can do. No one's existence is defined by what they bring to other people. Shouyou, you will never be a burden tome or our friends, teammates or even family. A long time ago, you taught me to believe in a shrimp who could jump. Let me teach you to believe in him too.” Tobio-not very good with words spoke to his shoes as he and Shouyou walked to their own apartment as the sun slowly set. He looked up to see a silently crying red faced Shouyou trying to wipe his eyes. “I made you cry. Amazing. I'm so bad at this I made you cry.” Tobio dead panned to the sky.
“No! I'm crying because I'm happy. Everything changes when you have someone who wants to help carry the burden. Thank you for loving me, and wanting to help me, and supporting me and understanding me.” Shouyou grabbed Tobio’s hand squeezing tightly then bring it to his lips for a small kiss.
“Good I was worried. Now, let's get home. I have another surprise for you. Miya-san, his fiancé, Bokuto-san, Akaashi-san, Hoshiumi all helped me with it. Once we look at it then we can do dinner and a movie.” Tobio used the hand Shouyou was holding to quicken their pace, his excitement almost tangible. Shouyou giggled and let himself be pulled along to their apartment. Both of them loose and carefree after all the emotional discussions they'd had today.
Tobio stopped Shouyou before unlocking the door. He told him to close his eyes and pulled him through the door. Shouyou stood still for a moment before opening his eyes again. He glanced around before looking at Tobio curiously. Then he blinked.
“You got flowers? And candles? I mean the apartment is incredibly clean…” Shouyou paused before looking again. “Tobio, did you Autumn clean our apartment? After being gone for almost a week on a sponsor trip. You seriously rearranged the furniture and redecorated like I usually do every year? Just because I was having a rough time. You went through all that effort you got all these people involved because you wanted me to feel better.” Shouyo spluttered a few noises. Before growling in almost frustration. “Did you do the entire apartment?” he didn't wait for an answer before holding up a hand and kicking his shoes off at the entryway.
Shouyou stalked through their apartment, trying all the new angles of seating looking for glares on the TV, he checked the bedroom for natural light and the office for obnoxious town noise. Finding none he stood in the middle of the kitchen watching Tobio finish making dinner, letting Shouyou explore at his own pace.
“I'm so in love with you that sometimes it physically pains me. When I think of how far we come as people, friends, rivals, partners my heart and soul ache. I honestly don't know what I would do without you. I absolutely do not want to find out.” Tobio turned heat the down on the stove turning around to question Shouyou but the words died in his throat. His own personal embodiment of the sun was down on one knee. A small black box open in his hand held a simple Silver ring. “Kageyama Tobio, will you marry me?”
Tobio dropped to his knees pulling Shouyou into a bone- crushing hug, tears mingling with Shouyo's on their cheeks all the while muttering, “You absolute idiot, of course. I will marry you. As if the answer could be anything but yes. Now, put the ring on and help finish dinner my fiancé.”
Shouyou blushed deeply, grin practically splitting his face. “Anything for you, My lovely Fiancé.”
The kitchen rang with laughter and sniffles and the clattering of dishes as the newly engaged couple finished making dinner. Together. As they would face every problem the future might hold..
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saundraswriting · 2 years
Text
Always the Same
Summary: The end of the tension-riddled Adlers Vs Black Jackals game came with cheers of victory and sighs of defeat for all but one Hinata Shouyo. He had done what he set out to do all those years ago after a crushing defeat by the ruthless King of the Court. What happens next? With the emotional highs and lows of this long waited victory, Kageyama Tobio is right there for him, just like always.
Warnings: Anxiety/Panic Attack, emotional hurt/comfort
Notes: This is a one shot I wrote because the idea wouldn't leave me alone.
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Hinata grabbed the net, using the slight bite to ground himself as the stadium went wild. The underdog team, MSBY Black Jackals beat the Schweiden Adlers 3 sets to 1. The final whistle had blown and Hinata could hear his teammates whopping and hollering in celebration behind him. Hinata was frozen gripping the net like a lifeline, eyes focused on the other side of the court locked on to Kageyama on the other side of the court. A cruel parallel to all those years ago, Hinata Gripping the net, eyes blazing, a mirror of Kageyama staring him down. The memory, unbidden, 'What have you been doing all theses years?' He had worked so hard for so long and it had finally, finally, finally paid off. Those months spent alone in his room, halfway across the world, an ocean away from anything familiar, wasn't wasted. He didn't act on whim, he had made a move towards his future.
Hinata could feel eyes on him, but he couldn't turn, couldn't move and join his team. Not when all he wanted was to talk to Kageyama, touch him, know that this was real. He had won. More than that, he missed Kageyama, his partner in everything. Hinata could barely feel his legs, even his monster stamina deplenished. His grip on the net tightened, the bite growing stronger, as the realization of what happened began to settle.
'I finally did it. I finally beat Kageyama Tobio. I did it.' Hinata didn't know what is face looked like, heartbroken or awestruck, all his strength going into remaining standing, and not letting go of the net, he knew he had to hang on, it was the one thing keeping his breathing regular and legs steady. "I did it, Kageyama, I did it." Hinata called out, his voice thick and on the verge of breaking. Kageyama looked over at him from the other side of the court, standing directly across as his team regrouped from their loss, gathering their composure. Hinata could feel the stares in his back grow stronger. "I beat you, Tobio." Hinata choked out not hearing the echoing gasps from his side and Tobio's side at the casual address. Hinata never felt like he was close enough to Tobio to use his first name until now, until he finished what he set out to do all those years ago. Tobio stepped closer and closer, horror and concern furrowing his brows and weighing his lips into a frown. Hinata could feel his team creeping closer to his back, one closer than the others but Hinata couldn't break his focus from Tobio, staring as he reached out grasping his hand through the net, tightening the grip that was keeping him steady. Somehow it soothed Hinata, having Tobio touching him, strengthening him in this like everything else.
"You did, Shouyo. Congratulations. Took you long enough." Tobio said, peering at Hinata's broken face, ignoring his own team calling out.
"I did it. I won." Hinata's hand was shaking, the whole net trembling with the pressure of his grip, his voice wet and thick. Kageyama's eyes widened at the emotion.
"Yes. I know, dumbass I was there, remember." Kageyama's voice was sharp but still teasing. Hinata's laugh broke on a small sob. The tone was missed and familiar. Kageyama's eyes widened even more, leaning closer.
"Tobio, I can't feel my legs." Hinata admitted in a small wet voice. Tears were leaking slowly out his eyes, trailing down his cheeks. Tobio let go of his hand through the net in surprise. Hinata felt his knees buckle slightly. Hinata could feel his emotions running out of control, the urge to sit and cry growing stronger, all he wanted was hug from his best friend and partner, but he had to calm down first. Whoever was behind him reached out, fingers brushing his shoulder, Hinata flinched hard, stepping into the net he was practically hanging off of. "Don't touch me!" He yelped. The unwanted touch sending him crashing to his knees, scrambling away from the small crowd of Adlers and Black Jackals that was surrounding him.
Atsumu stood, arm still stretched out in front. He could feel something in him shriveling up and it took a moment for him to realize it was hope. He had hoped that after this win, Hinata would lose his obsession over his previous setter and finally see him. Hinata's mix of emotions told him that would not be happening anytime soon, especially after he used Kageyama's first name. Hinata was always polite and respectful even to his teammates so it was slightly disconcerting to hear him so casual. He knew he looked hurt and confused, his expression mimicked on Romero's face as he looked at Kageyama. Atsumu could do nothing while Hinata hit the ground, shaking and gasping.
Hinata was mumbling a near constant stream of words, repeating the same phrases over and over. "I can't feel my legs. I finally won. I'm sorry, Tobio. Please. Please." The Black Jackals and Adlers stood around Hinata, unintentionally hiding him from the crowd, and making him panic in earnest. He started gasping, breathing coming unevenly, almost chocking. Tobio froze for a moment, he recognized the symptoms but hadn't seen an attack in years. Hinata had gotten better at dealing with his anxiety in high school but seemed to come back with a vengeance with all his time alone abroad.
"Shouyo!" Tobio called, ducking under the net. "Romero! Bokuto! Our bags and water, now please!" Kageyama bit out. He crouched before Hinata who's gaze was unfocused, looking without seeing. The two bags came quickly and their water bottles. The wall of players hiding them perfectly. "I need some air guys, back up a bit. And we don't need a doctor right now." Tobio said as he opened his bag and began searching. He pulled out his sweatshirt that he warmed up in and his towel. He opened Hinata's bag and rummaged for a moment before growling in frustration and turning back to Hinata. "Shouyo! Can you hear me? Tobio asked voice loud in the near silent gym. The crowd unsure of the going-ons. There was a hitch in what Shouyo's mumbling got around around his irregular breathing. His hands were scrambling at his jersey, skin near his neck red with irritation. "Shouyo I need you to nod if you can hear me. Listen to my voice. It's me, bakayama. I'm the best setter in the world and you just beat me. You are having a panic attack. Do you understand me."
Shouyo took a couple quick inhales before nodding, hands still scratching at his neck. "Tob-io." He hiccupped.
"That's good. That right, just me. I'm right here, love" Tobio took a deep breath. "This may be a lot, but let's get you out of that jersey huh? it can't be very comfortable."
"Tob-io." Shouyo gasped out, shaking still. He did nod, almost frantically. Hands moving to try to strip his shirt off.
Romero and Atsumu and the others froze at the term of endearment, the near panic and absolute adoration in his tone hinted at deep affection and fondness and love that had been there for years. Tobio gently swatted away his hands and with an efficiency based on familiarity, striped and wiped and redressed Shouyo. All the while his warm open gaze reiterating that Kageyama Tobio was for the red head.
"There. That better? I bet, now you smell like me. You always like that." Tobio practically cooed at Hinata.
"Tobio. My legs. Hurt. Sorry." Hinata got out around his shuddering gasps. Tobio's sweatshirt both helped and exacerbated the problem. Before Hinata knew that he needed to try to not completely lose his composure but with Tobio taking care of him through the beginnings of the attack, Hinata could only wallow deeper and hope like every time before, Kageyama would be there to help him get through it.
"Oh, love. I bet they do. I bet they do. You worked so hard during the game. An absolute marvel. Let me get you comfy and I can help with your legs...Why are you crying?" Tobio trailed off into a question seeing Shouyo's shoulders shake and sobs break out. Tobio had a couple towels folded into a makeshift pillow, for this song and dance was nostalgic, often the attacks or post game bus rides ended with Tobio rubbing out the muscles on Hinata's legs while he wore his sweatshirt-soft and smelling like Tobio.
Hinata had his nose shoved into the collar of the sweatshirt that dwarfed him entirely. He was indeed crying, chest hitching with the force of his sobs, tears only leaking out of the corner of his eyes, like he was still trying to smother his tears.
"Smells like you. I missed you so much. I missed you all the time. I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry after all this time you are still taking care of me." Shouyo sobbed out. The rollercoaster of emotions seemed to be still taking their toll on Shouyo. He was losing focus again. Tobio dumped out their bags muttering undr his breath while looking for a jar or tube of familiar cream, his hand shot out and snatched it when he finally found what he was looking for.
"Shouyo. Love. Sun-yo. Come back, focus on my voice. I'm gonna make your legs feel better, okay? Just like always." Tobio pulled off Hinata's shoes to get to his knee pads off before replacing his shoes. He was speaking to Hinata the whole time, mostly his name and explaining what he was doing. He knew Shouyo liked the sound of his voice.
"Hurts. Yama-Yama." He had fallen back into monosyllables but it was better than unintelligible sobbing.
"I'll rub your legs down. Just like always. Remember after nationals? You couldn't even stand. Kenma freaked out, and Daichi carried you to the bus. I had to massage your legs for hours. Tobio said as he began rubbing the lotion into Shouyo's legs. The cold cream made him flinch but the constant pressure and soothing cold had him sighing in relief.
Atsumu blinked at their closeness, letting out a soft "Hm." as he watched. Bokuto looked at him from the corner of his eye.
"Sorry, Tsum-Tsum. I knew he loved him but he was so hesitant on speaking up about it. I just don't think he ever saw you that way. Kageyama holds a very special place in Hinata's life and heart. Has for as long as I have known them. I didn't know how to tell you."
"I never had a chance?" Atsumu asked but he didn't seem to upset, like it was confirmation of something he already knew.
"No, you didn't. "Bokuto agreed. "But maybe you already knew that. I think if you look a little closer to home, you'll find what you are looking for." Atsumu nodded absently and Bokuto dropped the conversation, turning back to Hinata and Kageyama-who were still talking in a effort to calm Hinata down.
"I made you meat buns for that. Natsu helped me. She was excited to make something for Tobio-nii." Shouyo said. He was sniffling now, tears leaking slowly. Tobio felt some of the tension ease around them. Hinata was calming down.
"There we go. You're okay. We're okay." Tobio flashed a smile, but Shouyo didn't see it. He had an arm thrown over his face and his shoulders were shaking a bit.
"God, you take such good care of me and even Natsu. I couldn't go to any of her games, I barely could talk to her. I was gone for years. I would hear how good she was, how she was a natural setter. Weeks went by, seasons went by and I wasn't there. I had to depend on you for her brotherly support she needed. I showed her volleyball and then left her. How screwed up is that. You should go, leave me to take care of myself." Shouyo was spiraling, falling into the attack that he hadn't quite shaken off yet.
"No. I love you. I love Natsu. I want to support her and if that means I have to do it twice as hard, to make up for you following your dreams, so be it." Tobio said, denying Shouyo's attempt to push him away. Atsumu and Romero and the others flinched at the easy confession especially when it triggered another wave of sobs.
"I barely talked to you while I was gone. I almost quit and came home. I hated it there some days. I was alone and scared and it felt like middle school all over again, like I had wasted so much time and I was going to waste even more. I ignored everyone, I couldn't stomach the thought of anyone knowing how much I wanted to give up and clip my wings forever. I'm so sorry. Forgive me? I love you too." Shouyo's sobs were dry and painful to hear, like he was out of tears but couldn't calm down yet.
"I fell in love with you, not your athleticism. I fell in love with the person who pushed me to be better. I fell in love with the person who took an extra step for me even when I didn't ask. I fell in love with the person who showed me that letting people in is okay and not everyone will hurt me. I fell in love with the person who jumped for me with his eyes closed, putting his trust in a promise even to this day. I fell in love with you. Nothing is going to change that." Tobio' couldn't stop the words pouring out of him, realizing he needed to say them as much as Shouyo needed to hear them. Tobio looked at his hands which had stopped in their task of rubbing and massaging and started back up again. He slowed down, focusing on a small area that caused Shouyo to wince.
"Gosh, you hands. So good." Shouyo groaned, melting at little at the attention.
Tobio laughed. "The best. I know."
Shouyo reached down and grabbed his wrist. "I really did miss you. It killed me some days. I was there working in Rio when you were on the JNT. I tried to watch your games but it was hard to watch you, when it wasn't me you were tossing to. Selfish of me, I know."
"I missed you too. It was hard for me. It always it. You're my spiker. My best spiker. I can't wait to toss to you again." Tobio gently shook of Shouyo's grip to continue.
"What happens next? Where do we go from here?" Shouyo asked.
"Dumbass, we said to the top. We got one more stop along the way. Tokyo 2020. Think you can join me on the JNT this year?" Kageyama blindly reached around for a water bottle he put next to them. He finally grabbed it and handed it over, neither blinking when Kageyama handed over his own bottle and Hinata began chugging.
"Drink slowly. You'll make yourself sick. Are you nauseated? I need to look for your meds. You should take them both. I think the crowd might trigger you again. You seem to be coming out of it pretty well." Tobio began looking in earnest seeing Shouyo sitting up.
"Tobio always taking such good care of me. Marry me?" Shouyo began mopping at his face and neck to clean up the cold sweat that had broke out during the attack.
"You confessed for the first time today and now you are proposing?" Tobio was looking through the pile of their things, shoving what wasn't needed into their bags. He had made the executive decision that Shouyo was coming to his place that night.
"Don't joke. We both know I have been in love with you for years." Shouyo tried for nonchalance but the attack had left him a bit shaky and tone deaf and his missed the mark.
"I only began to put it together recently that you loved me. I knew I loved you. Yachi helped. A lot." Tobio found the pill bottles he was looking for along with one other thing he was looking for to put in his bag but the second of the exact same thing was giving him pause. "Here. Take this and then let this one dissolve under your tongue. You know the drill."
Hinata, we should probably clear out. We've been here a while. Are you going home with-"Bokuto began.
"Me. Ge can stay at mine. I have your favorite sheets on the bed, your mom's pork curry on the stove and my softest shirt laid out for you." Tobio had packed away the meds and was staring at the two objects on the gym floor unsure of what to do. He knew one was his but not which one.
"Oh! A sleepover? like High school? Can I share your bed again?" Shouyo tried to tease, wanting to lighten the mood. He was trying to stand up, taking it slowly so he didn't get sick or fall.
Yes, dumbass. But you kick me, you're dead." Tobio frowned. His voice sound distracted and distant to even himself.
"What's the matter?" The two teams were beginning to scatter, not seeing what Kageyama was looking at.
"Um. One of these if definitely mine." Tobio's voice sounded weak and shaky, the two teams turning to see him holding one small black box in each hand.
Shouyo sighed heavily. "You weren't supposed to see that." He scratched at his cheek, reaching out and taking his box. Atsumu and Romero were gaping at the two.
"You-You-You were serious? You really meant to ask me? You were having a panic attack and your legs couldn't even support your weight and yet you asked me to marry you?" Tobio's voice was high and thready. The Adlers and Jackals were frozen, but as they were on their way to the locker rooms, the remaining crowd and camera's were able to make out was was happening.
"What about you? How long have you been carrying that around?" Shouyo demanded.
"I had Yachi help me, three days after you had gone. I woke up and missed you so much I almost bought plane tickets. You called me telling me how loud Rio was and you sounded so scared. I wanted someway to be with you. So I asked and she dropped everything to help me pick it out. I wanted to give you my ring and my name and that way you know no matter what I'm here just like you are for me." Tobio admitted.
"I would be honored to take your name, Yama-Yama. We will be the best Kageyamas." Shouyo stepped into Tobio's space, murmuring soft enough for him to hear.
"Shouyo. My Shouyo. Marry me?" Tobio's voice and eyes were wet. This was not how he expected this day to go at all but he wouldn't change it for anything. Everyday with Shouyo was always the same, an absolute miracle.
"Only if you marry me first?" Shouyo responded.
They put the rings on each other to thunderous applause from one section of the crowd-that upon looking sat most of the alums of Karasuno and others- followed by the rest of the crowd and the Adlers and Black Jackals. The two blushed heavily at the attention, Shouyo stumbling a bit from his complete exhaustion. Tobio pulled Shouyo in closer and shouldered their bags. He dropped a soft kiss into Hinata's hair.
"Love you, sun-yo. Let's get out of here.
"Love you too, Yama-Yama. Can we skip the showers. I wanted to see the senpai's though."
"Yeah. Just for a bit. We can all see each other tomorrow at the reunion more, okay?" Tobio agreed. Shouyo hummed and nodded. Tobio looked down at this man who he fell in love with all those years ago. The man who still took one more step, with each day reiterating the promise he made to always be there. 'Lots of things had changed since we first met. But at the end of the day they were always the same, Me and Shouyo together for each other." Tobio thought before they were ambushed by the Karasuno Alumni and their bubble of peace was broken.
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saundraswriting · 2 years
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hey y'all, I just wanted to share on here this update I posted forever ago.
Missed Signals
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Missed Signals is also located on Ao3 if you prefer!
SUMMARY: Reki might have a problem. He gets hyperfixated. He is too loud. He has a delayed sleep schedule. He forgets to eat and drink sometimes. He zones out a lot, and even more when he tries to pay attention. He fidgets with his hair and his clothes and his skin to the point of injury. His brain works, sometimes. Other times he has to fight it. He has learned to cope enough over the years but just like everything else, some days are better than others. Good thing he has Langa and the others willing to help him realize it isn't a problem.
PAIRINGS: Reki Kyan x Langa Hasegawa minor Nanjo Koijiro x Sakurayashiki Karou (AKA Joe x Cherry Blossom)
WARNINGS: slight unintentional self-harm and self-induced anxiety, self-depreciation
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 //
28 notes · View notes
saundraswriting · 2 years
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Missed Signals Chapter 3
SUMMARY: Reki is sensitive when it comes to how others perceive him. He tries to be involved but not overly so, he doesn't want to be seen as a nuisance to the rest of the gang when some of them seem busy. Koyomi helps with the manic build-destroy-build energy Reki tries to channel through.
WARNINGS: Nothing too grand, descriptions of ADHD symptoms,
NOTES: I am trying to cope with what I am thinking is undiagnosed ADHD by projecting onto my favorite characters. I mean no harm and no offense.
Ao3 // Missed Signals Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter
Reki texted Langa on Saturday. We r gonna sk8 l8er right? The simple I'm busy. I will see you at S tonite. gave him pause, not often was Langa too busy for him and didn't tell him what was going on, Langa was quick to explain what he was doing and invite Reki along. Reki pouted at his phone. OK. C U 2nite then. Reki answered back. He knew that Langa had bad days like everyone else and a life all his own. Reki knew that Nanako even had friends and family in Okinawa, which is why they moved here in the first place. Reki didn't have the monopoly on Langa no matter how much he wished that true. 'I don't own him. He can do whatever he wants. We aren't attached at the hip.' Reki tried to reason with himself but all he can think about is how yesterday at lunch he was too busy talking about a Movie he had recently watched that inspired him to sketch a bit. He remembered interrupting Langa a few times during their breaks and even being more fidgety than usual. 'You talked to much on Friday. Langa needs a break from you. You are too dependent on him, you are smothering him. He needs some time away, deserves it from having to put up with you.'The dark parts of his mind whisper to him. The text did seem overly blunt and dismissive.
Reki shook off the intrusive thoughts, trying to ignore the beginning of anxiety churning in his gut. He can feel the restlessness creeping in; the shaking in his fingers, the urge to pull his hair. Reki bounced on his toes shaking his hands roughly. Reki decided to turn the anxious energy into productive energy. Anything would be better than sitting and stewing in his self-depreciation. He looked around, his room could use a good cleaning and his desk needed re-organized, as did the workshop.
Reki made his way to the kitchen, headphones draped around his neck. "Mom, Langa had to cancel his plans last minute. So I won't be heading out like I planned. So, I am gonna clean my room okay?" Reki grabbed a couple of bags, and cleaner and cloths from under the sink missing the shared look of mild horror from Masae and Koyomi. He darted off once his items were secured.
"You are excused from your chores today for the time being. Please sit with him and keep him on track. Maybe we can prevent him from rearranging his room again. Thank you, dear!" Koyomi was off her stool waving over her shoulder in acknowledgement as she followed Reki to his room. Both the girls were aware what Reki could and couldn't do if left to his own devices. Even if the other person was completely silent their presence was enough to keep Reki focused. Past times of cleaning his room led to the ramp outside his window being built after he tore his bed apart trying to move it, another time ended up with all his clothes on the floor while trying to make a fort in his closet, and their was once a time where he was considering a skylight but was promptly interrupted by Masae before he could get to the roof. Koyomi came in just in time to see Reki strip the sheets off his western style bed( he deemed the floor too hard to sleep on after a day of skating. The rest of the family quickly followed suit upon realizing how comfortable they were). Koyomi only side and put a reminder on her phone to replace his sheets or he would spend the next three days sleeping in a nest of throw blankets and pillows from the living room. Koyomi was 16 not stupid, she knew that Reki snuck out most saturdays for something and he would never remember to put clean sheets on if/when he came home. Reki placed the bundle of sheets in a basket left by his door by Masae. He threw his laundry in too. Masae and the twins loved doing laundry, especially hanging it all outside. He sorted the trash in his room and then put it into bags, then vacuumed before taking a break. 'He is pretty focused on this today. I wonder if something happened.'
Reki took a break, u busy l8er? texted Miya but after a few moments with no response, he began pulling at his fingers, pushing them, rubbing harshly at the joints. He was chewing his lip too, gaze completely focused on his phone. He could hear the voice in the back of his head getting louder again. 'You think a nationally ranked skateboarder has time for you? Miya Chinen doesn't play with slimes like you. He has more important things to worry about.' Reki ignored the voice, trying to logically reason it away. 'He is probably busy. He is an important person. He'll text back any minute now. I should keep working while I wait.' He went over to the mess of skateboarding catalogues he had and began organizing them.
He kept the ones from the current quarter with a note on top to remind him they needed read. He quickly flipped through the others, seeing how most of them had pieces missing threw them away. He put the new ones and the inspiration binder in a drawer in his desk. The binder was full of things Reki and Langa had found interesting or inspiring to try for the future, they had even made a similar one at DopeSketch for customers requesting special commissions or parts for their rig. It was helpful for increasing amount of people coming through from S since Langa had started showing off his new board to anyone who would listen. Reki continued on through his desk, anything not school related went on his bare bed by Koyomi while he sorted through his school things, stacking them with notes to divide them until he could consolidate them further. He had began checking his pens and paints and markers and pencils and sketchbooks for dead ones when his phone caught Koyomi's attention.
"Reki, phone." She said while grabbing his elbow, he flinched slightly even though he knew she was there the entire time. she rolled her eyes at his dramatic double take and slid his headphones off. "Meow-ya texted you back." He snatched the phone up.
Hey slime, I will be there in a few minutes. Langa had said something about you getting a new commission the other day. I wanted to see how that was going. I guess I can entertain you in his stead today. Miya had responded, his message properly typed and punctuated.
Thx. That'll b g8. c u l8er Reki shot back. The three dots were blinking so he waited a bit for Miya's response.
Jeez, learn to text properly. What are you 12?" Miya asked.
No but you r. lol." Reki laughed as he handed Koyomi his phone. "Let him know I am finishing my room if he asks and to just let himself in. I really need to get this done now." Reki nodded once, firmly. His shoulders were stiff and he kept turning slowly in a circle, Koyomi knew he was getting overwhelmed with the prospect of a friend he cared for coming.
"I have something that might help you now and in the future. I got it for you when mom and I went shopping the other day." Koyomi said. She hurried off and got it thrusting it in Reki's hands as he blinked in confusion. "I got you a label maker. That way you can actually organize all your art and skating stuff and not panic when you can't find it later. Since you can never seem to keep track of things, like at all." Koyomi teased with a bright smile. Reki beamed back.
"Thank you so much, Koyomi. This is a huge help. I can't wait to use it. Might have to wait a bit before I get to use it though." Reki told her. The tension seemed to ease in his shoulders. His room was clean and almost finished. He seemed a little more relaxed then he had all morning it seemed to Koyomi.
Until he saw Miya's response to the earlier joke.
I hate you sometimes.
Reki blanched, fingers twisting into painful looking knots in front of him, lips bloodless from where he was biting them so hard.
Koyomi was 16 not stupid. She had meet Miya Chinen once or twice. The 15 year old National Skateboarding team-hopeful was a savage as his mascot. Cute and cuddly and warm one minute and quick to change temperament towards sharp savagery in the blink of an eye. To his friends it was usually softened by closeness, sharp and quick but not violent. Koyomi knew he didn't mean for his comment to hurt Reki the way it seemed to and she knew that had Reki been feeling his usual self he wouldn't have taken it so personally but something had already affected him that much was obvious.
But today those words seemed to hit him harder than usual. Koyomi made to text back but Reki swiped his phone before she could type a letter. His fingers danced over the screen before he tossed it back towards her and moving back to his desk. He returned to organizing his art supplies, trying and failing at nonchalance. He was more subdued than earlier when the idea of the label maker had made him smile. He was testing all his markers and pens, throwing away the used ones but spreading the good ones into a large messy pile on the top of his desk. He undid all if his earlier work and was making a mess that he wouldn't find his way out of anytime soon. He had lost sight of his goal and was spiraling into familiar territory; creation and destruction. Koyomi was surprised he hadn't commented on his desire to rearrange his room yet. 'He had almost finished his desk before Miya's text ruined his train of thought, now he couldn't remember how he was going to sort everything. When he gets agitated or losses his goal he tries to do something often ending up with a room so messy he can't think. He tends to look worse than when he began. I wonder if things like Miya's text set him off.' Koyomi thought. "Reki-bro. Does this happen a lot when you get anxious or feel like you are a burden? Why do you undo everything you worked hard on when things like this happen?" Koyomi asked. Reki looked up from the massive pile of art stuffs. He looked at her wide-eyed and lost. Koyomi felt her small heart break. Her brother was her hero, she only wanted him to see how much everyone loved him.
"What do you mean, Koi? I don't think I am a burden. I can't help wanted to change things, I am not meant to stick to a day after day routine. I get going and then when I come up for air, it looks like this. I don't mean for it to happen, so I don't really know why I do it. I don't even realize I am doing it sometimes. The saying if it ain't broke don't fix it doesn't really apply to me. I pull things apart and then am left with a mess purely by accident and then sometimes I get an idea in my head and I can't not do it. I try to change it for the better and when it doesn't work end up in the same place. It is this weird twitchy energy sometimes." Reki tried his best to explain the reasoning or lack thereof to his sister and when she nodded slowly he knew she wasn't fully grasping the concept that he could barely articulate.
"I don't really get what you are saying." Koyomi began. Reki sighed. "But I want to help. So how about we work on the desk. You keep sorting pens into usable and not and then we can break it down into small groups from there. if we work together we can get it done quick. I just need to know your criteria for each group." Koyomi mimed pulling up her sleeves and stepped up next to Reki. He looked down at his little sister, swallowing hard and blinking the extra moisture from his eyes.
'I barely know what it going on in my head. There are days were even breathing seems to be hard for me, I have to learn that I am not alone. Just like Joe tried to tell me.' Reki sniffed and began testing his supplies. Koyomi broke the mess into simple tools(markers pens pencils) and non simple tools(paints, brushes, paint markers) When that was done she asked for Reki's input. The simple tools got broken down into their broad categories and then from there into the brands/types. Reki's regular pens and pencils were in a spot, his markers and marker pens and brush pens and the like were all sorted and labeled. The same with the brushes and paints and such. With Reki's approval, Koyomi used the label maker to finalize the decisions, causing a bright smile to light up Reki's face.
"Now, you can re-organize your stuff without causing too much issue, cause the containers are movable but the groupings are not. Simple." Koyomi teased. Reki stuck his tongue out at her and finished cleaning his desk off. She grabbed Reki's phone, to see if she could salvage whatever Reki had ruined but the conversation didn't seem to need help.
Sorry. I can handle the commission on my own. I wouldn't want to be a hinderance. You have a lot on your plate as it is. I don't need supervision.Reki had texted Miya with complete sentences and proper puncuation.
The hell? Did you fall and hit you head?
You slime, who told you that you are a hinderance. If I was busy I wouldn't have invited myself to your house.
You know what? I am definitely coming over now. You can't stop me. Something is obviously bothering you and the last time this happened you disappeared. I am not letting that happen again.
Koyomi smiled down at Reki's phone, 'I am so glad he found people to see him.' She had sent a brief text to Langa earlier, giving some details or Reki's latest obstacle. She knew that he had been trying to document everything lately, to better help Reki. He replied with a thank you and a promise to add it to the list.
"All right Reki-bro. I think it looks nice and functional. Now, you can change it if needed but not without me. I have decided I shall be your impulse control when you are at home." Koyomi winked but her comment fell a little flat when Reki winced and blushed.
"Am I so bad that I need babysat? Do I cause that much trouble? No wonder Langa sent Miya to watch me. Who knows what I would have done or not done today if he hadn't. Not that it matters since I told him I am fine without him."
Koyomi watched as the light in Reki's eye dimmed, and he seemed to shrink right in front of her. His shoulders drew up around his ears, he chewed on his lip, digging his nails into his fingers. His attention drifted inwards. Koyomi didn't know what triggered such a change besides the idea of having to be looked after but that didn't seem like the true source of this issue.
Reki could hear with voice in his head growing louder again. 'See you even burden your sister. What a terrible big brother you are. Langa sent someone to watch you because they feel responsible for you since you tag a long so often. They don't really like you. Miya only offered to come because Langa asked him to.'
"Big bro, that isn't what I meant at all. You aren't a child that needs watched or cause trouble. You are a human with quirks that need a safe outlet, one that will actually help and until we figure out what that means, we all want to support you. You have this tendency to not put yourself first or even second. So I want to help you take care of yourself. So does everyone else, because we all love you. Now let's keep going." Together Koyomi and Reki finished organizing and cleaning his room, they didn't even look up when Masae took the dirty clothes and sheets leaving fresh ones for later. Koyomi had stopped to make the bed and Reki finally stopped when Masae knocked on the door. The two of them had cleaned every surface, making the room look fresh and clean.
'Koyomi and Reki I must say, I am impressed. Great job guys. This needed done. Koyomi you were a great help for Reki, proud of you. Reki, Miya is here. Do you want me to send him to the garage? I can make snacks in a bit too." Masae praised her kids, proud to see how well they did.
"I told him he didn't need to come." Reki said to no one. "Can you have him go to the garage. Snacks will be great whenever, mom. Thank you." Reki looked at his clean room, cleaned for the first time in months to this extent but grimaced at the trash and debris on his floor.
"Go. I will finish here. Just promise me, that you'll talk to me or Langa or someone when you need to. I want you to go to your workshop and finish that commission, cause I don't want to here you griping about it later. Have fun with Miya. He cares just as much as the rest of us." Koyomi nudged Reki towards the door, ignoring his half made protests.
Reki looked back at Koyomi only to see her wave him away and shut the door in his face. Reki took the hint and went to his workshop/garage. He stood outside, second-guessing himself. Before he could make a decision the door flung open and Miya Chinen stood angrily in the doorway.
"You idiot slime. I have so many bones to pick with you, I practically have a damn skeleton." Miya reached out fisting his hand in Reki's sweatshirt and yanking him in. Reki held his hands up in a non-threatening gesture stumbling through the doorway.
"Miya, I'm sorry. You didn't have to make time for me because Langa said so. I didn't mean to pull you away from something important." Reki began. Miya had let go of him, watching Reki flap his hands about trying to postpone Miya's temper.
"No. Not accepting apologies right now. I'd like to remind you that you texted me first to see if I could skate but I reminded you about your commission. I reminded you because I remember you and Langa talking about it. You said the sometimes having someone around helps your productivity. I asked Langa if you wouldn't mind if it was me. I didn't want to ask and make you uncomfortable." Miya started. Reki kept quiet, knowing that Miya was only getting warmed up. "At no point was I asked to 'babysit' you. Reki,, to people who really care for you, you will not be a hinderance or a burden. You are my friend. I may tease you rather aggressively, but I don't mean anything by it, so you can start getting those thoughts out of your head. Now, should we discuss what happened today? What might have caused the downward spiral?" Miya asked hesitantly. Reki stayed quiet, studying Miya. Finally Reki sighed, nodding.
"I am not sure." Reki said. He pulled out the longboard commission they had been talking about. 'Langa and I had plans but he cancelled on me last minute, which was unusual. I tried to rationalize it, I don't own him, he has other friends I'm sure and even family here. I am not entitled to his every minute. But I just got stuck in my own head. I know that I can be a lot to tolerate. I forget things, misunderstand things, too loud, obnoxious, I get irritated for no reason sometimes, can't focus or can't not focus. I just thought what if I annoyed him to much and he needed time away and didn't want to say anything. The gang understand as does my family, I need someone to check me when my brain goes to hard. I forget to eat or drink or sleep when I get going. Cleaning can be a chore and even the idea of a shower can be too much, all the little steps that make it up seem insurmountable." As Reki spoke, he seemed to shrink on himself, shoulders drawing up and voice growing muted. He avoided Miya's gaze focusing instead on painted the deck of the longboard. He was very carefully painting a beach boardwalk at sunset on the bottom, currently working on the wooden boardwalk in the foreground. "Hell, If I was Langa I would need a break from a practical delinquent like me. I got him involved in an illegal skateboarding ring ran by a crazy pedophile. I wouldn't be upset if he told me he needed space, I just want to know. I would understand."
"Reki, you don't know, do you? Langa is absolutely head-over-heels for you right. Like there is no one more important in his life than you pardon his mom and most days that is even up in the air. Have you ever thought that Langa came here for a reason?" Miya asked.
"His dad died. Japan doesn't allow dual citizenship. His mom had to come back." Reki answered, missing the point.
"Yes, and Langa still in mourning, in a country half a world away from home, find you and you show him skateboarding. You, this boy, who came out of nowhere to welcome him with open arms, to show him something worth living for." Miya tries to explain. 'You! You are the thing worth living for, you stupid boy.' Miya tried to push telepathically. Unfortunately Reki cannot read minds.
"Oh." Reki blinked. Miya rolled his eyes. waving for Reki to continue. "I just felt unwanted, ignored. Then you said you would come over and I was happy. I hadn't let the bad thoughts win, and I able to breathe again. When you said you hated me, it just brought it all crashing on me again. How was I supposed to just ask a National Team hopeful to drop everything and come to my house. The Olympics are in Tokyo, and Skateboarding is debuting, I want you to do well. I don't want my issues being the reason you miss important training. Langa is my best friend and can't stand me. Everyone is only tolerating me, too nice to say anything. That kind of stuff, a downward spiral. Then you showed up, and threw me for a loop. Knocked some sense into me. However, I know that one day, you'll leave. I will be too much and I'll be alone again." Reki peered closely at the board, touching it up here and there before pulling out a hairdryer. He used the cool air setting to dry the paint a bit faster, trying to avoid cracking and once done, grabbed some sealant then setting it aside to dry.
"I knew you were a slime but I didn't know you were stupid too. We are your friends. We wouldn't leave you or ignore you because we grew annoyed with you. Your personality is what brought us together as friends, as a family. Without you there is no us. We aren't going to wake up one day and drop you. We want to help you, and that means talking to us. All of us. Kaoru and Kojiro care for you too. So does Hiromi and Skokichi. But we can't help you if you don't say anything. I get that is can be hard but we can start small. You did well the other day when you came Sia De Luce when working on schoolwork." Miya patted Reki's shoulder, politely not commenting on the wet sniffles and watery eyes he was trying to hide. "Now, come on. Let's finish this so we can meet up with the others soon. I think you can nail that trick you were trying the other day.'
"Yeah, I like the sound of that." Reki gave Miya a bright albeit small smile and got back to work, drying the sealant and applying another coat drying that as well before begin the assembling process.
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saundraswriting · 3 years
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Movie Masterlist
This is my non-Marvel Movie masterlist. There is no schedule. I have no preferred inspiration, I simply follow my muses.
Kingsman: The Secret Service
The Lawyer of my Life: (AO3 Only) Eggsy Unwin is a young man who needs some help. He is forced to run drugs for his step-father and his gang to protect his mom and sister. One night that help arrives in the form of Harry Hart. The gentlemanly stranger saves Eggsy by helping him realize his true potential.
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saundraswriting · 3 years
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TV SHOWS Masterlist
This is my masterlist for all my fanfics themed around non-Anime TV shows. There is no schedule or preferred inspiration. I follow the muses as they hit me.
TEEN WOLF:
This is Our Last(first)Christmas: At the end of a terrible sophomore year, Stiles decided with Deaton to use his spark and cleanse the Hale Territory, including Beacon Hills. With the Ley lines re-awakened properly, Beacon Hills earned its name. Junior year is better only because they face it with more preparation than the year previous. Stiles still feels that pack is missing something, the summer brings the pack closer than ever, including Stiles and Derek. Senior year starts and with it emotions run high for multiple reasons. Christmas comes and with it, Stiles is growing more and more distant, until one argument between him and Derek changes the dynamic forever.
Misconstructed: Stiles and Derek have know each other for years. Stiles fell firmly head over heels for the man who saved his friend during an epileptic event. When he learned he was a magical conduit called a Spark and the door to being a member of Derek's pack opened, Stiles was ready to rush through it. But he waited, wanting to be someone Derek wanted in his pack, Stiles wanted to earn his spot. Derek didn't know how to tell Stiles that he was welcome, had been welcome since Scott had been bitten, but all conversations were turned on their head when Stiles was involved. Then he was gone, off to earn his degree and Derek waited for his return, putting his affection for the young man on the back burner. Talia could see what they were missing and decided to take matters into their own hands.
Criminal Minds:
Hercules: Slight AU, where everyone has a mark. The marks match their soul-mates in shape, size, placement, color. The team still has the scum of humanity to deal with because having marks doesn’t mean that families aren’t broken, people aren’t vile or cruel. The Team is sent to Portland Oregon to deal with a serial killer that seems to have not set victimology, and a large wingspan. the only connection is a mark in their right heel. This is now complete.
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saundraswriting · 3 years
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Missed Signals Chapter 2
SUMMARY: Reki has a tendency to do things while being unaware. He doesn't notice his leg shaking or how much he fidgets with his headband or even how much he picks at his skin. He only notices when someone tells him to knock it off or when he focuses so intently his brain thinks of nothing else.
WARNINGS: Nothing too grand, descriptions of ADHD symptoms,
NOTES: I am trying to cope with what I am thinking is undiagnosed ADHD by projecting onto my favorite characters. I mean no harm and no offense.
Ao3 // Missed Signals Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter
Reki wasn't bored per se. He was interested in the material being taught, but he couldn't sit still enough to focus. He seemed to be having this problem a lot more now that he had spoken to Cherry and Joe slightly against he will. He was trying to be still as possible knowing that if he began to shift then the class would be disrupted but he could feel it building under his skin, an itch he needed to scratch. He was glad at the moment Langa reached over, swapping his clicking pen for a soft pencil. He wanted to apologize to the nearby students but was too busy twirling the pencil around his fingers like a drumstick, he was able to tune back into the teacher but unable to write his notes, but the itch was at least soothed under his skin.
He wasn't too worried about his notes anymore though. Langa had asked Cherry for some lessons on Japanese to help better his literacy quicker. He used his skills to take better notes for Reki to copy on the rougher days like today. When it came time for a break, Langa and Reki stayed in the classroom, leaning against the nearby open window.
"How did you know?" Reki asked Langa. "How do you always know when I need to fidget?"
"I don't always. Just like you are starting to pay attention and are learning your cues, so am I. I notice that you tend to freeze and then you gets more and more tense as it gets worse. I know that you as a person, think you are a burden, even though you are not, so you don't like to do things that attract attention, like clicking your pen. So I gave you my pencil." Langa explained. "Also, if I look at the right moment, you look for ways to escape. Your eyes flick from door to door like you are caged in, so you are ready to leave if needed. Not only at school but when we are in busy places too, like you need to always be ready to move at the drop of a hat." Langa said.
"Hm. I didn't know that. Thank you for helping me. I don't know what I would do without you." Reki pulled Langa into a tight hug.
Langa hugged him back, squeezing tightly, knowing that Reki liked firm physical contact. "There is no need to thank me. I am glad to help you as much as I can."
Break ended, an das they returned to their seats, Reki's restlessness seemed to ease. Reki took his notes for his last class with minimal distractions and drawings. They finished their school day, standing by the entrance gate deciding on what to do.
"I want to skate but I know I need to do the homework, we got assignments in most of our classes. Do you think we could go to Joe's?" Langa asked. "The noise sometimes helps you focus."
Yeah. Can we skate for like an hour first? I want to make sure I can focus, we can take the long way there, right?" Reki asked. Langa playfully hesitated and after Reki's third 'please' agreed to the plan.
When they finally get to Joe's restaurant, their normal spots at the bar are open. They duck in and settle next to Cherry while pulling out their books. Everyone seemed to understand by unspoken rule that those seats were for them and rarely were there people in them. In a second there was a pot of tea and a pitcher of water sat in front of them.
"Hello boys. How was school today?" Cherry finally noticed them getting their school books out of their bags.
"Good. Today I was able to take notes for a few of my classes really well. I did have an issue before last break but Langa helped." Reki said while snatching Langa's notebook to copy for the class he didn't take notes in.
"He started getting tense and seemed...flightly. So I took his pen and made him use a pencil. He twirled it around for the whole period, but was able to follow along really well. It seemed to help ease his restlessness." Langa explained. Reki was tuning out their conversation, biting his thumb while looking between the two notebooks and the textbook.
"He did the same motions? Consistently? Interesting." Cherry made a mental note to look into that along with the research he was doing on neurodevelopment disorders. "Why are you guys here? Not that we don't love to see you everyday of the week." Cherry tried to keep the sarcasm to a minimum, he knew Reki was sensitive.
"Reki suggested it. Sometimes the constant noise is just right for him to get into the zone. He can focus because it isn't too loud or too quiet I guess. He is trying different environments to see if he can pinpoint what works and what doesn't. After finally talking about it, he seemed to realize that this is a problem that won't go away on its own. Reki is smart, reckless but smart." Langa said. He moved to Cherry's other side as to not talk over Reki for the moment.
"The noise seems counterintuitive. I don't get it." Cherry said. His eyebrows were furrowed in thought.
"I told you before, it is different for everyone. But The noise here or other places like this work for us sometimes, cause it is rhythmic. There is a pattern-people come, people eat, people leave. Our brains like patterns, it is even better when we can think about them in the back of our minds. We are fully invested without taking our focus off the main things. Doesn't always work though." Joe cut into the conversation.
The three skaters looked over at Reki who was diligently copying notes while biting his fingers of his left hand. He was the most focused they had seen him in a while outside of skating. The restaurant was working in his favor. However he was chewing rather violently on his nails, Langa narrowed his eyes at the red and raw tips of his fingers. They looked sore and painful, but Langa couldn't pin down when he saw Reki chewing at his nails. From what Langa could see it was a constant habit.
"He is chewing his fingers too. You can see the redness and bits of blood around his nails." Langa commented to Cherry. They both sat and watched as Reki worked hard.
Reki was unaware of his surroundings, he paid no attention to Cherry and Langa avidly staring at him, he let the background noise of Joe's restaurant wash over him lulling him into a state of focus. He tried not to think to much, just enjoying the environment and the positive results on his mental state. Reki was so focus he didn't realize he was chewing on his fingers at all again. It was a habit his mother crowed about him needing to break but nothing seemed to do the trick. Reki finally pulled away from his fingers and studies when he tasted blood and Langa laced his fingers with his.
"Hey, maybe you should take a break. You've been working for a while and I think we need to talk about your nail biting." Langa said.
"I wouldn't mind a break. I am not really hungry though, I think I will just have some tea for now." Reki answered absentmindedly. He was finishing up the section he had been working on. Cherry and Langa shared a look.
"Reki, when was the last time you ate? You really should have something. It is getting late." Cherry tried to push the red-head. Reki paid him no mind, already swallowed into his studies again. He was adamant he was going to finish his assignments, all of them that he could. Reki pulled off his headband and began scratching lightly at his scalp, running his fingers through his hair, tugging lightly when he was thinking.
"Reki, did you eat lunch today?" Langa asked. Reki blinked and refocused on Langa. Langa could tell that the recent conversation had gone in one ear and out the other. "Reki, look at me. Focus on me for just a moment." Langa waited until he saw Reki's distant gaze blink back into awareness. "Reki, did you eat today at lunch?"
"Did I eat today at lunch?" Reki parroted. Langa nodded. "Yeah, I had chicken curry and a Caprese salad." Reki answered firmly.
"Reki that was your lunch yesterday. I remember because I ate all the mozzarella bites and you yelled at me cause that was your favorite part. What did you eat today? I had to go speak to Hirikawa-Sensei at lunch today. I told you to go to the roof and eat, I would catch up." Langa said. Reki frowned in thought.
"I remember that, then I got distracted by a text Miya sent me and then it reminded me of something I wanted to look at for a gift for him...."Reki trailed off. "I don't think I ate today at all. I missed breakfast cause I over slept." Reki nodded once, pleased to be able to give a truthful answer. When no one responded his shrugged and went back to work.
"Oh, hell no. I know that when you get in the groove, you tend to stay there for too long but Reki you missed three meals today and now all you want is tea?" Cherry was slightly heated.
"Yeah, it makes the most sense. I need the caffeine to help me focus and it is an appetite suppressant and the water will keep me full and the tea will be good on my stomach. If I eat now, then I will be nauseous later. Days like this happen enough that I know what I am doing." Reki said. He only shrugged in answer to Langa and Cherry's incredulous looks. "Please leave it alone, sometimes, I don't like to eat. It can be tiring, a lot leads up to having a meal and sometimes that is too much. I take what I can get when I can get it. Now, let me finish my science homework." Reki waved off their concern just as Joe changed out the tea pots, with a smile.
"You doing okay over here kid? Need anything?" Joe asked but eyed all three of them. they all shook their heads, Reki gleefully fixing a large mug of tea how he liked it and drinking it quickly before making another one and sipping it. He kept the spoon in the mug, sliding it through the tea first up then down then left then right making a small ting each time. The motion and the noise seemed to soothe nerves that Cherry and Langa both missed up to that point. As Reki faded back into his studies, abandoning the tea but not the stirring motion, Cherry and Langa began having a whispered conversation.
"I think we should have a tutoring session, and I think Joe should lead this one. We need to figure out how and what we can do to help Reki. We seem to just stress him out when we get caught up in out neurotypical behaviors. I was thinking Saturday? I can ask Miya to distract him with skating for a while, or maybe help him make a new board? I think Reki has a commission from someone who comes to Dope Sketch." Langa requested. His concern was clearly on his face, eyebrows drawn together and a lip tucked between his teeth.
"I agree. I can order some books and resources online so we can have reputable sources. and Miya would love to help, he has been nagging me about it since the discussion at the skate park." Cherry responded.
Langa waved down Joe frantically, almost hitting Reki in the head. Joe came over, an eyebrow raised in question. "What can I do for you?" He asked a little too loud. Langa quickly hushed him, shooting a fruitive glance at a still studying Reki.
"Will you come and help us research ways to help Reki? I know we talked about it before but now I really want to look into it. This is affecting his everyday life, his is hurting himself unintentionally and even skipping meals. I don't want to push too had but I think we need to look at ways of helping him cope with what is going on." Langa asked.
"Of course. I don't know how much I can help, I have to say that my medication helped a lot and because of that my symptoms aren't as noticeable most of the time even if I miss a dose. I have spent many years forming the habits that help me get through the day, skating and the intensity of the kitchen help with that too. Where do you want to meet at?" Joe asked.
"We can meet at my studio, it is spacious enough and then we can keep our work there. I really think this will be good for him and for us." Cherry said. "I had no idea that some of the quirks you and Reki exhibit were signs of something else. It must be tiring to try to keep up with people who don't understand or even yourselves." Cherry continued.
That moment Reki raised his head, stretching his arms over his head and groaning deeply. Langa looked at the long lines of his torso-staring until a elbow jabbed his ribs. "I think that is all I can do today. I got a lot done though, caught up in a lot of class work. I may be a more permanent resident to this stool Joe. I think it is about time we head out. My mom probably texted me a dozen times wondering where I am. I should let Nanako know where you are too." Reki pulled out his phone to text both their moms, not seeing the looks Joe and Cherry sent Langa's way.
"I forget. I can't help it. And my mom loves Reki, she'll say yes to anything he asks her." Langa tried to explain himself, Joe laughed and Cherry shook his head. Reki finished texting and packed up hi things, a light aura of pride coming from him.
"I did it. I can turn in this week's assignments. I got all my work done. Thank you Langa, Cherry, Joe, for all you help. We need to get going." Reki hopped down from the stool and wobbled slightly. He swallowed once, twice. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, obviously considering something. "Is this hunger? Am I thirsty? Eh, maybe just a good night's rest will do me in." Reki thought aloud. He shrugged his bag on, waiting patiently for Langa to get down, unaware of what he just said. He curled his fingers inward rubbing his nails against each other making a light ticking noise, rocking heel to toe.
Langa looked towards Joe's ceiling, seeming to pray for patience. 'This idiot, my god. He would be dead without someone to take care of him. How has he survived this long?'"I'm coming Reki. We can go home. Am I staying over tonight?" Langa asked.
"If you want yeah. You should call your mom though. She probably would like to hear from her only son." Reki teased as Langa gathered his things.
"Hey, Reki! Here, this is for you. Drink it on your way home, okay?" Joe handed Reki a large to-go cup. "Kaoru likes smoothies at the end of the night sometimes so I made a little extra for you. I know that sometimes food is just too much but you need something in you. Don't worry it tastes fine and only has a little bit of the healthy stuff in it. Promise." Reki took the cup beaming at Joe.
"Thank you. I know that I don't make sense, and some of the things I do make me a burden but I can't help it. So thank you for understanding." Reki bowed and hurried out the door, embarrassed. Langa hurried after him, calling a farewell over his shoulder.
Joe watched them skate away, a small smile on his face. 'He'll be fine. He has a whole family looking out for him.' Joe went back to Kaoru who was impatiently waiting for his nightly glass of wine, no smoothie in sight.
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