The nine rules of "Freddish": the positive, inclusive empathic language of Mr Rogers
From an excerpt from last yearâs The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers, the rules of âFreddishâ â as Mr Rogersâ crewmembers jokingly referred to the rigorous rules that Rogers used to revise his scripts to make them appropriate and useful for the preschoolers in his audience.
Rogersâ nine rules are a masterclass in figuring out how to clarify a thought, then refine that clarity to remove extraneous elements, then consider the result and use empathy for your audience to be a better communicator and a better person.
Itâs how Rogers went from âIt is dangerous to play in the streetâ to âYour favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.â From a proscriptive, negative statement to a positive statement that admits that there will be uncertainty in the world, that reinforces loving relationships, without making value judgments, and connecting the idea to a toddler-friendly message about personal growth.
Per the pamphlet, there were nine steps for translating into Freddish:
âState the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.â Example: It is dangerous to play in the street. ââââââ
âRephrase in a positive manner,â as in It is good to play where it is safe.
âRephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.â As in, âAsk your parents where it is safe to play.â
âRephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.â In the example, thatâd mean getting rid of âaskâ: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.
âRephrase any element that suggests certainty.â Thatâd be âwillâ: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.
âRephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.â Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.
âAdd a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.â Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.
âRephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.â âGoodâ represents a value judgment, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.
âRephrase your idea a ďŹnal time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.â Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.
https://boingboing.net/2019/07/09/lets-talk-freddish.html
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"i'm not triggered or upset by or even ideologically opposed to it, i just associate it with something so bad that i can't enjoy it anymore" is such a frustrating relationship to have with a piece of media
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here since none of you know what a bear is
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Iâd divorce him too lmao
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there is an insane amount of antisemitism floating around right now.
i just want to say:
this blog loves and supports jewish people.
this blog does NOT conflate the israeli government, or the atrocities it commits, with jewish people.
this blog is disgusted with those who use or express antisemitism.
this blog knows that if someone needs to invoke antisemitism, they do not actually care about helping palestine or the palestinian people.
this blog will do its best to insure that it remains a safe space for all.
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Stop putting DNI on your tags and stop bringing shipping discourse into AO3
AO3 hid the story and asked OP to remove the tag (the fanfic is not even removed) due to the inflammatory tag. That's deserved. AO3 is not a social media for people to fight over ship and chronically online discourse. It's a library. If people keep bringing DNI and discourse into AO3 it'll make the place toxic for writers and reader.
What are you trying to accomplish with putting DNI? Do you think people actually care about DNI? No, it's just making you looking like an asshole doing this
Also AO3 was founded by a Wincest and Thorki shipper. Astolat made AO3 because FF net and other sites keep purging nsfw fanfic. AO3 is literally made for problematique shipper that op don't like.
Then OP doing this? For what? People want to enjoy reading their fanfic not seeing DNI and online discourse on AO3. I hate using the word virtue signaling as it's often used to demean progress but this is what a real virtue signaling looks like đ¤Śđ¤Śââď¸
(I bet op wrote more inflammatory tags on their fic other than 'proshitter DNI get a life' because it take a lot to get your story hidden or removed)
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Important:
Yes, wear a mask! COVID is still around and long-COVID is real and a bitch.
But!
Also wash your hands still! Disinfect surfaces!
Research has shown that newer variants are lasting longer on surfaces than the original virus.
Surfaces are not as big of a risk for transmission as respiratory fluid contact, but I've just noticed people not sanitising their hands like they should be.
After you handle your mail, touch anything at the stores etc.
No need to get scared about handling anything. Just don't touch your eyes, mouth or nose until you've washed or disinfected your hands. Just like you would if you sneezed into your hands (I hope!)
Let's keep the vulnerable people in the community safe by keeping ourselves safe. â¤ď¸
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So a couple days ago, some folks braved my long-dormant social media accounts to make sure Iâd seen this tweet:
And after getting over my initial (rather emotional) response, I wanted to reply properly, and explain just why that hit me so hard.
So back around twenty years ago, the internet cosplay and costuming scene was very different from today. The older generation of sci-fi convention costumers was made up of experienced, dedicated individuals who had been honing their craft for years.  These were people who took masquerade competitions seriously, and earning your journeyman or master costuming badge was an important thing. They had a lot of knowledge, but â hereâs the important bit â a lot of them didnât share it.  Itâs not just that they werenât internet-savvy enough to share it, or didnât have the time to write up tutorials â no, literally if you asked how they did something or what material they used, they would refuse to tell you. Some of them came from professional backgrounds where this knowledge literally was a trade secret, others just wanted to decrease the chances of their rivals in competitions, but for whatever reason it was like getting a door slammed in your face.  Now, thatâs a generalization â there were definitely some lovely and kind and helpful old-school costumers â but they tended to advise more one-on-one, and the idea of just putting detailed knowledge out there for random strangers to use wasnât much of a thing.  And then what information did get out there was coming from people with the freedom and budget to do things like invest in all the tools and materials to create authentic leather hauberks, or build a vac-form setup to make stormtrooper armor, etc.  NOT beginner friendly, is what Iâm saying.
Then, around 2000 or so, two particular things happened: anime and manga began to be widely accessible in resulting in a boom in anime conventions and cosplay culture, and a new wave of costume-filled franchises (notably the Star Wars prequels and the Lord of the Rings movies) hit the theatres.  What those brought into the convention and costuming arena was a new wave of enthusiastic fans who wanted to make costumes, and though a lot of the anime fans were much younger, some of them, and a lot of the movie franchise fans, were in their 20s and 30s, young enough to use the internet to its (then) full potential, old enough to have autonomy and a little money, and above all, overwhelmingly female.  I think that latter is particularly important because that meant they had a lifetime of dealing with gatekeepers under our belts, and we werenât inclined to deal with yet another one. They looked at the old dragons carefully hoarding their knowledge, keeping out anyone who might be unworthy, or (even worse) competition, and they said NO.  If secrets were going to be kept, they were going to figure things out for ourselves, and then they were going to share it with everyone.  Those old-school costumers may have done us a favor in the long run, because not knowing those old secrets meant that we had to find new methods, and we were trying â and succeeding with â materials that âseriousâ costumers would never have considered.  I was one of those costumers, but there were many more â I was more on the movie side of things, so JediElfQueen and PadawansGuide immediately spring to mind, but there were so many others, on YahooGroups and Livejournal and our own hand-coded webpages, analyzing and testing and experimenting and swapping ideas and sharing, sharing, sharing. Â
Iâm not saying that to make it sound like we were the noble knights of cosplay, riding in heroically with tutorials for all. Â Iâm saying that a group of people, individually and as a collective, made the conscious decision that sharing was a Good Things that would improve the community as a whole. Â That wasnât necessarily an easy decision to make, either. I know I thought long and hard before I posted that tutorial; the reaction I had gotten when I wore that armor to a con told me that I had hit on something new, something that gave me an edge, and if I didnât share that info I could probably hang on to that edge for a year, or two, or three. Â And I thought about it, and I was briefly tempted, but again, there were all of these others around me sharing what they knew, and I had seen for myself what I could do when I borrowed and adapted some of their ideas, and I felt the power of what could happen when a group of people came together and gave their creativity to the world.
And it changed the face of costuming. Â People who had been intimidated by the sci-fi competition circuit suddenly found the confidence to try it themselves, and brought in their own ideas and discoveries. Â And then the next wave of younger costumers took those ideas and ran, and built on them, and branched out off of them, and the wave after that had their own innovations, and suddenly here we are, with Youtube videos and Tumblr tutorials and Etsy patterns and step-by-step how-to books, and I am just so, so proud. Â
So yeah, seeing appreciation for a 17-year-old technique I figured out on my dining-room table (and bless it, doesnât that page just scream âI learned how to code on Geocities!â), and having it embraced as a springboard for newer and better things warms this fandom-oldâs heart. Â This is our legacy, and a legacy the current group of cosplayers is still creating, and itâs a good one. Â
(Oh, and for anyone wondering: yes, Iâm over 40 now, and yes, Iâm still making costumes. And that armor is still in great shape after 17 years in a hot attic!) Â
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Unpopular opinion: we should all wear masks as much as possible. Forever.
Immuno compromised people were in danger long before 2019. How many people could we have saved, just by masking?
Seriously. Disabled people deserve to live without fear.
We never know if we're carrying a disease or not, since most symptoms only show up after we're contagious.
Very useful in a world with cameras everywhere.
Even if your masking is not perfect, it is still better than nothing. Every step, even the smallest ones, is another layer of protection for immuno compromised people.
Wouldn't it feel good to save a life by doing something so simple?
Thank you and goodnight!
Edit: this is about all mask preventable disease, not just covid.
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USian folks: the new number for the Lifeline is 988. The old number still works, but 988 is fewer digits to remember. Unless there is immediate physical danger to either the person in crisis or those around them, CALL 988 FIRST. They are the mental health equivalent to 911, and can connect you to 911 if needed. If you have to call 911, very clearly state that the situation involves a mental health crisis and request a behavioral health unit.
If you need mental health support but aren't actively in crisis, another option is a warmline. Warmlines are staffed by peers - people with their own lived experience of mental health challenges. To find the warmline in your state, check out the directory on Warmline.org. (The website looks like it hasn't been updated since the Clinton administration, but the info is legit.)
A thing I learned recently was that while 911 is a national number, each state manages its own 911 call centers. If you dial 911, you are routed to whichever dispatcher is closest, and dispatchers may not be able to transfer a call to another state/region. This means that if a friend in a different state/region is in physical danger, they have to be the one to call 911. If you have no choice but to call for someone far away, just know that your local 911 dispatcher will be searching a database or even straight-up Googling the police non-emergency line local to the person in crisis. Non-emergency lines are staffed 24/7 and have the ability to connect to the local 911 dispatch, so while it IS POSSIBLE to get help for someone far away, you being ping-ponged around the country takes a hell of a lot longer than if they call 911 themselves. I couldn't find info specific to 988, but I assume the same for it as well.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
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ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said âoh donât romanticize mental illnessâ and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly
but somehow weâve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who donât want to get better and spread the idea that you canât get better as if itâs gospel and itâs fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say âhey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and itâs not something you should accept.â
and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying âthis isnât something that will workâ âcool karen iâm depressedâ âmaybe it worked for you but it wonât work for other peopleâ and thatâs⌠just⌠im so sorry if youâre 15. iâm sorry if youâre in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesnât get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of âhappyââŚ. if i had seen this shit back when i was ⌠oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming âŚ. i think iâd have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself.Â
iâm saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity thatâs causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone elseâs condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people ârecovery is a lieâ, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they canât recover. if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better.Â
im team âcool karen ive got depression and that means iâm going to try this because iâve got to try somethingâ iâm team âromanticize recoveryâ iâm team âit isnât working now but it might in the future and itâs worth staying to find outâ im team âhey this didnât work for me but it might help somebody else outâ
fuck guys it shouldnât be an unpopular opinion to say âi donât want any of you to dieâ.
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I'm sorry if this is an intrusive question, but in your knowledge, how does ednos manifest? Both for you and people you might know. I know for a fact that my relationship with food is not fucking normal, but I don't exactly know what to make of it and...wth...
ednos stands for âeating disorder not otherwise specifiedâ which means it reps ALL eating disorders not covered under other diagnostic criteria. most, something like 70% of eating disorders fall in this category.
Keep reading
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