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rswen-blog · 9 years
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for a lovely postcard event “Inspire Everyday!” at Ayala Museum (Makati, Philippines) that encourages kindness and to inspire others through art. 
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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The black liberation project is putting on a solidarity action for Sandra tonight at 6 @ Hennepin Central Library. Come support, bring signs, let's stand. #Minnesota #minneapolis #blacklivesmatter #blackliberationproject #justiceforsandra #sandrablandslifemattered #soldarity #justice
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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As of July 25, at least 100 people have been killed by police this month alone. 115 is the record for most people killed in a month.
July 25 is the 206th day of the year and at least 657 people have been killed by police so far in 2015.
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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Carry on 👑 #quote #quotes #inspiration #inspiring #motivation #motivational #love #life #lifestyle #positive #happy #happiness #truth #true
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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How insecure are we as a generation to constantly find comfort in side partners.. Are we that scared to fall in love? Are we that terrified of commitment?
MR (via kushandwizdom)
Good Vibes HERE
(via kushandwizdom)
....ahhhh
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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I speak hate because I hate myself.
I speak disgust because I can’t look at any reflection without shivering at it.
I spit love, yet have the hardest time loving me.
why?
I am redeemed by a Father know see’s me.
But I don’t want to be seen by HIM.
I want to be seen by him.
Him who doesn’t see.
Him who doesn’t care.
Him who doesn’t fulfill needs. 
Me who gives in.
Me who allows.
Me who can’t say no.
Me who does’t WANT to say no.
Addicted to momentary satisfaction.
I feel NOW
I want NOW
I get NOW
Snapped back into reality after days of self hate
Wondering when will I allow myself to change in the conviction?
When will I allow the conviction to redirect my habits?
Why do I do this to myself?
Knowing full well the outcome of a rushed experience is no experience. 
Forcing things in a sense KNOWING full well the outcome.
Yet continuing.
Welcome to the sick cycle in my life.
One that has been hardest to break.
In one ear I hear this is normal.
In the other I hear, “My beloved”
Knowing the HE who SEES accepts, even amidst the chaos.
So as I work on allowing HIS truth to be what I walk in
May the battles I keep facing remind me the strength I’ve been given.
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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Balance
I’m tired. Why am I tired? I quit my job, and literally have no obligations. I’m exhausted. 
I notice I just went on a massive, go, go, go, don’t stop, keep going in all aspects of my life. 
I’m on the verge of uncovering next steps, but right now, today, I’m exhausted at the unknown. 
I’m tired of myself as well, its hard to become aware, being aware means constantly figuring out how to improve....
I believe we always have things to work on, but balance needs to be a goal. This concept is so hard for me to grasp....well to do, I understand balance I just don’t do it. 
If I find something is wrong with me, or I uncover a coping style that no longer works I put a pressure on myself to rid it as soon as possible. Is this realistic? 
I can only speak for myself, and it has become a thought that I’m missing something key here. I’m missing the ability to balance, its all in or all out. Yet I stand on the fence with balance, I can only blame myself here. Although easy to point fingers, I’m accountable for myself. 
I’m going to start tracking, (a concept learned from, “Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy”) I’m going to carry a small notebook to track the amount of time I spend taking care of myself, doing something productive. My goal is to track my schedule to find where I’m wasting it and to actively add in time to/for myself.
Today I noticed where I wasted my time, this is going to shock everyone...it was my phone, the time I spent on my phone.
“ If we want to do creative work that lives beyond us, we have to start giving our creative energy to things that are sustainable and lasting—even if they don’t give immediate results”-Allison Vesterbelt, storyline
Jesus help me balance, help me understand and learn to live out hard work in the pursuing of future goals and dreams, knowing that this time is going to be essential in my ability to balance. 
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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God really does give a shit.
Our mentality pretty much decides our future. I caught myself in a victim mindset the other day as I looked inside I realized I believed that this suffering would continue for more than I could take. But through a series of events I began to feel a presence. A sweet, delicate voice reminding me, "my daughter, I'll take your burdens, just lay them down." 
I've recently, in the past year, developed migraines. They suck, part of my victim mindset was being set on dealing with those for the rest of my life. Let me run you through my thought process really quick.
"I have a migraine coming on." "shit" "well looks like my day is going to be spent in a quiet, cool place...probably my bed." 
This mindset is for the ones who believe that their situation is permanent. I was reminded, through a willing vessel, that my situation does not have to be permanent because I serve a God of now, I serve a God of healing, and of power. I was blessed 4 years ago to have met an amazing couple from South Africa/Korea. This couple has continued to pursue me and my heart on and off over the years. 
The other day the husband reached out to me, and he offered to pray for the spots on me that were hurting (lower back/glutes and migraines) I turned off what I was watching, and was present to the subtle voice of God calling me from across the world. As I released my pain to God, my migraine went away. It came back again as I was talking to another great friend, we prayed, and again...it went away.
I have no secret, I have no magic power. I am not deserving of that healing, but still, anyway, across the world, God put me on someones heart. That person listened and together, through the power that was given to us, we changed our mindset to be one of now, to be one of change, and immediate healing. 
What the heck, what a fricken amazing Father I have. I was reminded again, "my daughter, there is no need to suffer. Jesus, my son, he did that. So that you can live, and be free." That was the first time I've ever experienced that kind of immediate healing, and believe me I've done my fair share of praying for pain to leave. I still don't know why he allowed that to be done in me, but He did and I am so thankful that God does not give up on me. 
As you go about your day, lay it all down. Just lay it down, let it go, and believe that there is someone, somewhere praying and lifting you up because we have a God who gives a shit.
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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breath can be so healing👍
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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Delicate Heart
"The feeling of betrayal is one in itself.
One of the most difficult feelings to allow take its course.
Something that feels like a constant loss of breath.
When remembered the tears threaten to overflow."
I, along with everyone, have lost friends. From death, to walking different ways. The grief with all of them, is something that is hard to forget. Engraved in my memory. It hurts to feel like you are not good enough to be in someone's life. It sucks that you can give someone so much time, love, acceptance and it is still easy for them to walk out of your life. 
Things in life can suck, they can get really hard. Friends have the ability to make them better and encourage you to see beyond circumstances and onto a greater picture. 
I get that we all have times of darkness, and of neediness where the ones around us need to pick up our slack. But there is only so long that this should be allowed. If you notice that you are the only one giving time, energy and love, it might be time to cut that friendship off. As hard as it might be, its a necessary part of life. Its an essential step to take in order to find freedom, and joy. 
I grew up in a Christian family, and I've studied Jesus. Something that consistently is replayed in my brain is this verse.
"21Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"22Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. "-Matthew 18
Its a struggle to grasp the concept of forgiveness. What and how do we go about forgiving someone who so effortlessly abandoned us? Here we are, supposed to give people unlimited chances. Where is the line, when can we decide its better for us if we move on, let go, and process the loss of a friend once loved?
That is something we all get to decide for ourselves. But here are some things that I've learned from being the one to cause a loss, to being lost. 
1: There is nothing a simple "I'm thinking about you" won't fix.
2 You can word even the most critical statement into an encouragement.
3: Don't speak unless you can clearly see the love for the person.
4: Speaking with a clouded idea of a person can ruin a friendship forever.
5:Friendships are supposed to be a two way street. But there are times when one party is at the depth of their struggle and is unable to give you support. That is when you step in with a selflessness as if you were Christ.
6:Only give advice when you are asked. Smothering a person with what you think is going to help, will only cause resentment. 
7:Its ok to not agree with what someone does, don't let it blind you and stop your love for that person.
8: Assuming that person will understand, is a terrible assumption.
9:You can never reach out enough. 
10: love is the strongest form of fighting you should ever use.
 May we learn to release the pain of friendships gone sour. May we do so with love and grace. may our words always encourage and build up the friends that have stuck through all of our shit. 
Here is a HUGE thanks to the ones who have stuck. 
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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continued run
bouncing back and fourth
attention or wholeness
male accompaniment
vs
godly accompaniment
back and fourth
thorn in my side
"fill my needs
baby fill my aching spirit
make me whole again" 
shoulder to shoulder it continues
"my darling, wait."
"my darling, you are much more than this."
"my darling, trust. me."
obvious choice 
the subtle voice of attention
my worth without it
wins this battle.
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rswen-blog · 9 years
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Tell me what this is
I have this burning within
the shame and fear a 10
i have these men
boys really
they call
they text
but the real communication is what they believe, 
sex
beautiful when used within context
painfully apparent the boundaries have been crossed
aware of the vengeance 
fear
binding my mouth
binding my thoughts
binding my reactions
silence
how i respond
willingness
do what you please
outcome is still fear
that this will be the same
he still won't fight for me
because I'm not worth it.
i'm a box checked off
another in and out
done
the cycle goes on
emotions left hanging
disconnect 
between what is wanted, expected and followed through with.
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