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robertbrancatelli · 6 days
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"Gosh, Galoshes!"
So, there I was the other day, minding my own business as I usually do, when all of a sudden I heard someone exclaim, “Gosh, galoshes!” I turned around to find a large, dark woman in a red and white striped dress and blue raincoat. She carried an orange umbrella and wore gobs of makeup with lashes like Kim Kardashian’s. It had been raining, so she also sported rain boots–yellow–that could have…
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robertbrancatelli · 13 days
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They're Joking, Right?
The other day I made the mistake of trying to brighten the screen on my desktop computer. What I discovered is that it’s not as easy as I thought. Actually, I have enough experience with technology to know it’s never easy. I don’t know why I expected this to be any different. Maybe I’m too trusting. Maybe it takes a while for me to learn my lesson. Maybe I overestimate my abilities. But I…
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robertbrancatelli · 19 days
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More than Eggs
I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that the Passion of Christ and the Easter story continue to shape Western culture. Whether Christian or not, who isn’t aware of Judas’ betrayal of Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, Peter’s cowardice, Jesus’ trial and crucifixion, or the empty tomb on Sunday morning? We are also familiar with the ritual acts of Pilate washing his hands and releasing…
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robertbrancatelli · 26 days
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Apache Knife Fighting
This post, like recent ones, involves retirement. Honestly, I never expected to write so much about the topic. For one thing, it bores me, since anytime it comes up people invariably bring up cruises, Morgan Stanley, kitchen remodeling, or grandchildren. I have nothing against any of these, particularly grandchildren (no “anti-natalist” am I), but I usually lose interest about 3.2 seconds into…
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robertbrancatelli · 1 month
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Assembly Required
I might have gone a little crazy. I attribute this to not having to work at a regular job anymore with its demands, reports, meetings, and seemingly endless list of things to do. I am now able to turn my attention to the stuff of ordinary living. You know, like a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and the maintenance that a century-old house requires. Last November I wrote about my move from…
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robertbrancatelli · 1 month
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Lessons from Boxing
After a year of working out with the university boxing club and attending some tournaments, I can happily report that I have learned a few things. Boxing is excellent for teaching life lessons at any age. After all, it’s not as if I have it all figured out and don’t need to learn anything new. There is one thing in particular that I want to share now, though. It’s about doubt. But first, when I…
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robertbrancatelli · 2 months
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"How Can You?"
In a social setting the other day, someone came up to me and introduced himself as a subscriber to this blog. I thanked him and said I hoped he liked it. I have learned that if a subscriber comes up to me, he either has a complaint about a post or a suggestion about how to make the site better. The latter often involves engagement, clicks, and conversion rates, which I am not very good at and so…
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robertbrancatelli · 2 months
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"Correct!"
I’ve never been one for long speeches or droning on and on about some esoteric topic unless, of course, it was during class and I felt comfortable enough thinking out loud to a captive audience of undergraduate students. Thinking out loud was part of the performance. I like to think one of the benefits of going on like that was that I was modeling how to reason for those young, unmolded…
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robertbrancatelli · 2 months
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A Certain Somebody
There’s a certain somebody I run across every week who makes my day. I see her in a local coffee shop, which gets crowded on weekends. We have a brief conversation, exchange pleasantries, and then move on. I asked her yesterday if the cap I was wearing made me look stupid. She laughed and told me I looked refined. I can tell she enjoys the interaction, as do I. I have even begun to look forward…
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robertbrancatelli · 2 months
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Mittwoch Matinee: Ashes of Love
It hasn’t happened in 73 years (1945): Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday all in one. What more is there to say? Ashes will be traced on your forehead in the shape of a heart. Cue the banjo. This post appeared originally on February 14, 2018. We offer it again in recognition of the same alignment of stars: St. Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday occurring on the same date today. Feature image by…
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robertbrancatelli · 2 months
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The Merciless Editor
There might be something wrong with me. I just can’t help myself. I can’t hear something, look at something, or read something without analyzing and, if need be, correcting it. This happens most often with the written word. I don’t mean just essays, poems, novels, short stories, posts, emails, and the like. Of course, I do it with them. But I do it with everything else, too. Lately, I have taken…
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robertbrancatelli · 3 months
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Showering with Tony
You have to go all the back to October 20, 2014 to read about a similar experience. Back then, I was at Fordham University in New York City and heard Engelbert Humperdinck in the locker room lamenting about how he was “A Man Without Love” (1966). A member of the cross country team was playing the song, which came so unexpectedly and was such a contrast to the rap music I had been accustomed to…
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robertbrancatelli · 3 months
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Mittwoch Matinee: Laura Fedora
Ming’s is this old Chinese restaurant on Spring Garden not far from the house, and even though it’s kind of dumpy, it’s way better than 7615 Kingsbury, so I’m not complaining. I would have died if dinner had been at our house. Ming’s is owned by this Chinese guy, Benny Ming, who wears the same blue jacket with a black t-shirt underneath and has his hair slicked back. He always makes this joke…
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robertbrancatelli · 3 months
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Black Broccoli, Yellow Snow
One night this week for dinner, I had to look. I mean really look, even going so far as to separate the florets of broccoli I intended to eat and inspect the little buds. I had to be sure. See, I have a tendency to eat old food like blue cottage cheese, week-old tilapia, and soft nuts. It’s not a good idea to eat food that has gone bad. It seems absurd to have to declare that, especially for…
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robertbrancatelli · 3 months
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A Teacher's Remembrance
This is a confession of sorts, a personal mea culpa, on one hand and a memorial for a treasured teacher and academic on the other. The memorial I have in mind is for Dr. Gayle Byerly, who was one of my professors in the English department at Ursinus College during the mid to late seventies. Byerly died last week at the age of 85 with family beside her in a small town outside of Harrisburg,…
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robertbrancatelli · 3 months
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Mittwoch Matinee: The Gringo
Richard was about to concede the point when Monsieur returned with a suspicious bottle of Bulgarian vodka, three grimy glasses, and a jar of cocktail olives with a sell-by date of May 15, 2009. “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any gin,” he apologized. “Most people here drink Gallo with lemon slices or margaritas, but for my new friends, we will make the martinis with vodka; that is, if you find…
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robertbrancatelli · 3 months
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Just Say No
I’m not trying to be negative, especially in the New Year. Really, I’m not. But I have to admit I came up with a resolution of sorts that leans in that direction. How far in that direction? you ask. Leaning Tower of Pisa far. It’s about saying “no.” My resolution is to say no to people, places, and things that I don’t want to be involved with anymore, especially if it’s out of a sense of duty or…
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