ribbonsandvines

[ribbonsandvines]

Living a life of fear seems like no life at all to me

I hate the thought of being controlled by my own head

I hate the strings attached to me

And I hate that I cannot cut them

[ribbonsandvines]

what if I'm boring

or too loud

what if I don't talk enough

what if I'm too nice

or not nice enough

I can never seem to get the balance just right

maybe no one notices these things

but I do

maybe I'm just projecting my own insecurities onto others

maybe that's why I prefer my own solitude

because then I don't have to worry about how others see me

or whether I did too much or not enough

#don't talk to me #i love my alone time #i just don't know how to work through being social

[ribbonsandvines]

“allow the pieces to fall apart no matter how rough it feels, allow what doesn’t want to stick to crumble away beautifully, allow what has no desire to stay to find a home elsewhere, allow the energy of everything shifting from you to create space for everything that you need.”

— iambrillyant

[ribbonsandvines]

It's ok really

I only wanna cry all the time, sleep my feelings away, distract myself and cut everyone off

#don't talk to me #Aha #It's my birthday and I never really thought I'd make it this far #It seems like a weird fever dream #Like nothing is really real #And I feel numb a lot but it's ok

[ribbonsandvines]

When winter comes around most people are excited for the holidays

But the holidays have always been lonely and full of heartache for me

Without fail every year

Right before Thanksgiving

Something bad happens

That's just how it's always been

And I've accepted it

So when the first snowflake drops

And white slowly takes over the earth

I don't reminisce about the holidays

I reminisce for the feeling of the fire

I find comfort in curling up on the couch with my favorite tea or hot cocoa

With my favorite book or movie

With my pets at my feet

I don't like the holidays

But I like the warm feeling that I create for myself during that time

#don't talk to me #poetry?? #spilled poetry #spilled ink #My friend asked me the other day when I'd be in a Christmas mood and I said that I didn't know #But the truth is is that I will never be a Christmas mood #But I am in a cozy nostalgic mood

[ribbonsandvines]

She always had a soft spot for the strange things

They were comforting

They felt like home

#don't talk to me #Strange #poetry?? #spilled poetry #words

[ribbonsandvines]

It crawls through my insides

It stops at my throat

It chokes me

I open my mouth to let it out

Hoping it will slither out

Just as it slithers inside

It's ugly

I push it under the rug

Until I trip over it

#don't talk to me #word vomit #I keep trying to remember that #My now is not my forever #But the previous still lasts #nftumblcryptids #poetry?? #spilled poetry

[ribbonsandvines]

What do I say when someone is hurting

When I can see their insides shatter right before my eyes

When my words can do nothing

And all I can

Do is

Watch

[ribbonsandvines]

You know what, screw it. I'm bleaching my armpit hair

[ribbonsandvines]

[ribbonsandvines]

Look at us, look at how far we have grown. From children that annoyed each other to have a lovely, potential future together.

Look at us. Look at how we gaze at each other differently than before, full of such tender care.

Our deep talks, our little looks, all of it, are more precious to me than you could ever know.

I love learning about you. I love watching you be excited about things. I love debating with you about stupid little things. I love everything about you.

I can't wait to see what this year will unfold.

I can't wait to see what will change.

#don't talk to me #spilled poetry #poets on tumblr #poetry #you are lovely #spilled words #spilled thoughts

[ribbonsandvines]

a winter studying aesthetic

warming your hands on a mug of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate

settling in to study under a pile of blankets

short days, waking for your first class while it’s still dark

your favorite sweater, worn and wearing thin 

walking from one class to the next, face shielded from the wind by a hand-knitted scarf

writing even as your fingers grow stiff with cold

a glow of warm, flickering candlelight

getting distracted by snow falling just outside your window

working diligently, pushing through to the end of the semester

deep, calming breaths before a big test that turn to fog in the frigid air

a glimpse of the sun, low on the horizon

long novels piled on your bedside table

taking a study break to have a snowball fight with your friends

[ribbonsandvines]

maybe if you bundled yourself up and went for a walk out in the cold then came back inside with rosy cheeks and cool skin and warmed yourself up with a nice warm cup of herbal tea with honey maybe then you’d calm down

[ribbonsandvines]

[ribbonsandvines]

i think that blasting your eardrums out with very loud music regularly is actually healthy and a very important thing to do to take care of yourself. huh sorry what did you try and say something to me i didn’t hear you my ears are ringing really loudly lol

[ribbonsandvines]

[ribbonsandvines]

Can you imagine if Tumblr turns out to be the Facebook of the future? A bunch of old people just posting nonsense and grandchildren being embarrassed