rhythmelia

[rhythmelia]

since Awesome Ladies is no longer running, check this one out!

Welcome to the Leading Ladies PodFest 2024!

This is a fest for short podfics celebrating female characters in the tradition of the Awesome Ladies Podfic Anthology.

Podfics and other audio works featuring any female character in any fandom are allowed. Works are encouraged to be less than 1500 words/15 minutes. The optional theme this year is "traditions".

The collection opens for posting on February 1st and all works will be revealed on February 29th.

Check out the AO3 collection for full rules and reach out here with any questions!

#podfic #podfic event

[rhythmelia]

It's especially obvious and disappointing when it shows up on a podfic post. Podfics already don't get a ton of engagement so I treasure every kudos and key smash and comment. So to get a notification and for it to be a scam/bot comment, talking about the *writing* in a.....*podfic* sure is something 😔

If you get a comment like this on an AO3 work, DO NOT FOLLOW THE INVITE.

It's a scam. It is literally always a scam.

In this specific case, it's specifically a scam being run by Webnovel (they're known to target inexperienced writers who cannot afford a lawyer and won't be able to sue them even when things break bad, and get them to sign horrible and incredibly abusive multi-year contracts by using pressure tactics to get people to not read the fine print). But the specific group running the scam doesn't matter. Sometimes it's a crypto scam. Sometimes it's a "I'm a writer too, but I've fallen on hard times, please help my sick cat" scam. Sometimes it's a "we'll publish your book, but you have to pay us upfront costs" advanced fee scam. BUT IT IS ALWAYS A SCAM

Look at the vague wording. "We find your choice in subjects to be very intriguing"??? No specifics about what they liked – just a general copy/pasted ego stroke to make you feel like maybe someone thinks you're special. Look at the keyboard-smash name. That's not even a name associated with an actual AO3 account! People sometimes make weird usernames, and people sometimes comment without being logged out, but I've never seen anyone do both at the same time – usually people who are logged out use names like "guest" or "anon" or the like. Look at the fact that they never specify what group they're talking about, or what they do.

If you get a comment like this on one of your AO3 works, please report it on sight. These people are predatory like you wouldn't believe, and most of them target fanfiction writers specifically because they know that many fanfiction writers are young and comparatively vulnerable. Please stay safe, and do your part to help keep everyone else safe as well.

#scam alert #my addition #blogging about podficcing #image descriptions

[rhythmelia]

RIP IN PEACE, CHECK PLEASE

#omgcp #Check please #I am DECEASED 🤣 #video #Not described #Heartstopper as a comic isn't even that vastly newer than OMGCP lolololol #But I guess uni story vs high school story will cater to different demographics #Also lol this timing as my knee decided to pull shenanigans all this week

[rhythmelia]

Your feelings are valid but your conclusions are flawed - 100%

Data set too small - needs more input! Even as a grown-ass adult, as I learn more, I recognize that there are vast swathes of human experience that I just don't know about, so my filters are continually recalibrating.

This post sits at the same table as the one about not letting feelings of disgust or shock being the primary driver of your behavior and development of moral principles.

so, I've noticed that some Discourse™ posts about adult content (and I am including my own in this) tend to have a kind of misery poker element to them. like, "well, when I was your age, I watched videos of people being literally set on fire, and I'm fine, so stop complaining about zutara!" or whatever, which just isn't really a good argument, considering that the response is going to be "no, you're not fine, you think it's okay to have porn of teenage characters on AO3!"

so, I want to tell a story about the opposite of that.

I think I've talked about this before on here, but my parents were extremely careful about the kind of media my siblings and I watched as kids. not for religious reasons; it was for the entirely secular reason of "screentime in general, but especially violent or sexual media of any kind, is bad for children's brains." I exclusively watched PBS (except for the news and Saturday morning cartoons on ABC) until I was eleven or twelve, because stuff like Power Rangers and The Power Puff Girls was too violent.

I started being allowed to branch out into "adult" media because I was considered old enough to self-screen for inappropriate content, and also pre-screen stuff for my younger siblings and, at least one time I remember, someone else's kids. this is why I started being allowed to watch police procedurals: I watched the first ten minutes or so of an episode of Numb3rs (it was Soft Target, I remember the imagery extremely clearly) and was able to convince my mom to let me watch it because a) it wasn't any more violent than Mystery, b) it had math in it and was therefore educational, and c) it came on at 9 PM on Fridays so it wouldn't keep me up too late on a school night.

the problem wasn't that I was incapable of filtering my own media. I was excellent at filtering my own media. the problem was that I was twelve years old and the most graphic thing I'd seen up to that point was Miss Marple, so my filter was wildly miscalibrated.

some things that I considered "inappropriate for children":

The Will Of The Empress by Tamora Pierce, both then and now my favorite author, not because of the two seconds of implied sexual content that flew directly over my head, but because one of the characters discovered she was a lesbian and kissed a girl onscreen a couple of times, and of course gay content meant something was automatically adult.

Eldest by Christopher Paolini, where I somehow completely missed all the nudity except for one scene where a pair of twin elves are described as dancing while naked, which to me made it basically porn.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, because of the scene where the Sheriff of Nottingham speeds through his wedding ceremony as quickly as possible so he can have sex with Maid Marian right there on the floor, not because it's a weirdly graphic almost-rape scene that's played for laughs for some reason, but because it had sex in it!

I think when someone talks about how X Show Is Problematic or Y Ship Is Morally Wrong, the response tends to sound like, "Suck it up and ignore any potential implications or problems it has, you big whiny baby!", which is not my point here.

my point is that when you haven't been exposed to a wide variety of content and/or life experiences, your Media Immune System is going to overreact to stuff that, in the grand scheme of things, is probably not that bad, because it's the first time you are experiencing it. it's also going to underreact to things that are so beyond your frame of reference that you can't even identify them as potential problems. your filter is going to be badly calibrated because you don't know what to calibrate it to.

I don't think being an adult is being able to handle The Most Viscerally Uncomfortable Movie or anything like that. I do think being an adult is, basically, microdosing on Problematic Content™ to expand your boundaries enough to even know what your boundaries are.

but if your response to anything potentially problematic is to completely avoid it because consuming it – or, horror of horrors, enjoying it – somehow taints you as a person, I can guarantee you that your filter is already wildly miscalibrated and you're doing your level best to keep it that way.

#purity culture #long post #things to think about #my addition #media matters #critical thinking #lol oh man as a tween that did not realize for another decade that they were ace? #I loved the puns and wordplay in Xanth but did not catch 99% of the suggestive stuff or the rape culture noncon/dubcon stuff at allllll #Until I was reading people's meta about it as an adult

[rhythmelia]

.....Luffy is known for fighting on behalf of the poor and the oppressed through the power of friendship and punching (because shounen hero). From bad bosses up to the highest levels of government. So I'm gonna place my bets on Luffy would want to talk to the CEOs, and if he can't persuade them with words to pay the workers, then persuade via punching them. With lots and lots of friends alongside him.

#One Piece #image descriptions #Netflix this is not gonna go the way you think it will #WGA strike #SAG AFTRA strike #labor #solidarity #union #union strong #my addition #I fell out of fandom right around when the Straw Hats met Brook #But I'm gonna guess that Luffy's central characterization has not changed THAT much since then

[rhythmelia]

@wereallcurioushere12 - These podfics may not include the *exact* take on orbitals from @derinthescarletpescatarian, but please enjoy anyway :D

[image description: podfic cover featuring a beaker, a box of dry milk, and a small can of evaporated milk surrounding a mound of white, powdered milk. On the left is a column of podficcer credits. The beaker has the text "The Science Side of Tumblr." The box has been edited to read "Evaporated (?) Dry Milk" with a popout label of "shitpost!" The can has been labeled "Evaporated Milk" and the popout labels read "Fun Podfic!" and "Multivoice." /end ID]

Here's the podfic of the science side of tumblr branch of that thread, and here's the podfic of the theatrical side of tumblr :D The texts and links of the threads are included at the AO3 posts.

Editing to add thank you @elenna1243 for finding the orbitals lecture so I'm just adding that on for my edification too :D

Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

#my stuff #my podfic #my addition #evaporated milk discourse #image descriptions #science! #sort of

[rhythmelia]

ADDRESSING TWITTER'S TOS/POLICY IN REGARDS TO ARTISTS AND AI

Hi !! if you're an artist and have been on twitter, you've most likely seen these screen shots of twitters terms of service and privacy policy regarding AI and how twitter can use your content

I want to break down the information that's been going around as I noticed a lot of it is unintentionally misinformation/fearmongering that may be causing artists more harm than good by causing them to panic and leave the platform early

As someone who is an artist and makes a good amount of my income off of art, I understand the threat of AI art and know how scary it is and I hope to dispel some of this fear regarding twitter's TOS/Privacy policy at least. At a surface level yes, what's going on seems scary but there's far more to it and I'd like to explain it in more detail so people can properly make decisions!

This is a long post just as a warning and all screenshots should have an alt - ID with the text and general summary of the image

Terms of Service

Firstly, lets look at the viral post regarding twitter's terms of service and are shown below

I have seen these spread a lot and have seen so many people leave twitter/delete all their art/deactivate there when this is just industry standard to include in TOS

Below are other sites TOS I found real quick with the same/similar clauses! From instagram, tiktok, and even Tumblr itself respectively, with the bit worded similar highlighted

Even Bluesky, a sight viewed as a safe haven from AI content has this section

As you can see, all of them say essentially the same thing, as it is industry standard and it's necessary for sites that allow you to publish and others to interact with your content to prevent companies from getting into legal trouble.

Let me break down some of the most common terms and how these app do these things with your art/content:

storing data - > allowing you to keep content uploaded/stored on their servers (Ex. comments, info about user like pfp)

publishing -> allowing you to post content

redistributing -> allowing others to share content, sharing on other sites (Ex. a Tumblr post on twitter)

modifying -> automatic cropping, in app editing, dropping quality in order to post, etc.

creating derivative works -> reblogs with comments, quote retweets where people add stuff to your work, tiktok stitches/duets

While these terms may seems intimidating, they are basically just tech jargon for the specific terms we know used for legal purposes, once more, simply industry standard :)

Saying that Twitter "published stored modified and then created a derivative work of my data without compensating me" sounds way more horrible than saying "I posted my art to twitter which killed the quality and cropped it funny and my friend quote-tweeted it with 'haha L' " and yet they're the same !

Privacy Policy

This part is more messy than the first and may be more of a cause for concern for artists. It is in regards to this screenshot I've seen going around

Firstly, I want to say that that is the only section in twitter's privacy policy where AI /machine learning is mentioned and the section it is is regarding how twitter uses user information.

Secondly, I do want to want to acknowledge that Elon Musk does have an AI development company, xAI. This company works in the development of AI, however, they want to make a good AGI which stands for artificial general intelligence (chatgpt, for example, is another AGI) in order to "understand the universe" with a scientific focus. Elon has mentioned wanting it to be able to solve complex mathematics and technical problems. He also, ofc, wants it to be marketable. You can read more about that here: xAI's website

Elon Musk has claimed that xAI will use tweets to help train it/improve it. As far as I'm aware, this isn't happening yet. xAI also, despite the name, does NOT belong/isn't a service of Xcorp (aka twitter). Therefore, xAI is not an official X product or service like the privacy policy is covering. I believe that the TOS/the privacy policies would need to expand to disclaim that your information will be shared specifically with affiliates in the context of training artificial intelligence models for xAI to be able to use it but I'm no lawyer. (also,,,Elon Musk has said cis/cisgender is a slur and said he was going to remove the block feature which he legally couldn't do. I'd be weary about anything he says)

Anyway, back to the screenshot provided, I know at a glance the red underlined text where it says it uses information collected to train AI but let's look at that in context. Firstly, it starts by saying it uses data it collects to provide and operate X products and services and also uses this data to help improve products to improve user's experiences on X and that AI may be used for "the purposes outlined in this policy". This means essentially just that is uses data it collects on you not only as a basis for X products and services (ex. targeting ads) but also as a way for them to improve (ex. AI algorithms to improve targeting ads). Other services it lists are recommending topics, recommending people to follow, offering third-party services, allowing affiliates etc. I believe this is all the policy allows AI to be used for atm.

An example of this is if I were to post an image of a dog, an AI may see and recognize the dog in my image and then suggest me more dog content! It may also use this picture of a dog to add to its database of dogs, specific breeds, animals with fur, etc. to improve this recommendation feature.

This type of AI image, once more, is common in a lot of media sites such as Tumblr, insta, and tiktok, and is often used for content moderation as shown below once more

Again, as far as I'm aware, this type of machine learning is to improve/streamline twitter's recommendation algorithm and not to produce generative content as that would need to be disclaimed!!

Claiming that twitter is now using your art to train AI models therefore is somewhat misleading as yes, it is technically doing that, as it does scan the images you post including art. However, it is NOT doing it to learn how to draw/generate new content but to scan and recognize objects/settings/etc better so it can do what social media does best, push more products to you and earn more money.

(also as a small tangent/personal opinion, AI art cannot be copywritten and therefore selling it would be a very messy area, so I do not think a company driven by profit and greed would invest so much in such a legally grey area)

Machine learning is a vast field , encompassing WAY More than just art. Please don't jump to assume just because AI is mentioned in a privacy policy that that means twitter is training a generative AI when everything else points to it being used for content moderation and profit like every other site uses it

Given how untrustworthy and just plain horrible Elon Musk is, it is VERY likely that one day twitter and xAI will use user's content to develop/train a generative AI that may have an art aspect aside from the science focus but for now it is just scanning your images- all of them- art or not- for recognizable content to sell for you and to improve that algorithm to better recognize stuff, the same way Tumblr does that but to detect if there's any nsfw elements in images.

WHAT TO DO AS AN ARTIST?

Everyone has a right to their own opinion of course ! Even just knowing websites collect and store this type of data on you is a valid reason to leave and everyone has their own right to leave any website should they get uncomfortable !

However, when people lie about what the TOS/privacy policy actually says and means and actively spread fear and discourage artists from using twitter, they're unintentionally only making things worse for artists with no where to go.

Yes twitter sucks but the sad reality is that it's the only option a lot of artists have and forcing them away from that for something that isn't even happening yet can be incredibly harmful, especially since there's not really a good replacement site for it yet that isn't also using AI / has that same TOS clause (despite it being harmless)

I do believe that one day xAI will being using your data and while I don't think it'll ever focus solely on art generation as it's largely science based, it is still something to be weary of and it's very valid if artists leave twitter because of that! Yet it should be up to artists to decide when they want to leave/deactivate and I think they should know as much information as possibly before making that decision.

There's also many ways you can protect your art from AI such as glazing it, heavily watermarking it, posting links to external sites, etc. Elon has also stated he'll only be using public tweets which means privating your account/anything sent in DMS should be fine!!

Overall, I just think if we as artists want any chance of fighting back against AI we have to stay vocal and actively fight against those who are pushing it and abandon and scatter at the first sign of ANY machine learning on websites we use, whether it's producing generative art content or not.

Finally, want to end this by saying that this is all just what I've researched by myself and in some cases conclusions I've made based on what makes the most sense to me. In other words, A Lot Could Be Wrong ! so please take this with a grain of salt, especially that second part ! Im not at all any AI/twitter expert but I know that a lot of what people were saying wasn't entirely correct either and wanted to speak up ! If you have anything to add or correct please feel free !!

#generative AI discourse #AI #Or rather #Fancy autocomplete #Thank you OP for remaking this post from your reblog! #I didn't want to reblog the other post going around since it had suicide bait in it >_> #Terms of Service discourse #A perennial freakout #media matters #sort of #computer literacy #signal boost #I don't like AI but please people #If (general) you want to argue against something using misinformation weakens your argument #long post #image description

[rhythmelia]

[image description: photo of COVID test card with the red line showing a positive result. /end ID]

Sorry you got it, jenroses :/

Some recent COVID-19 news

Growing Concern for back to school as data shows rising COVID cases in B.C.

A grassroots group of health professionals are calling for British Columbia to reinstate mask mandates in schools and hospitals to prevent a repeat “tripledemic” of COVID-19, RSV and influenza infections that pushed the province’s hospitals to the brink last fall.

And with data showing rising COVID-19 cases in B.C. and two new viral subvariants on the horizon, Protect Our Province B.C. says the province should act sooner rather than later.

The group is composed of more than a dozen doctors, nurses, researchers, teachers and professionals who advocate for evidence-based pandemic policies.

“We know from last year kids and schools were hit hard and if the goal is to keep kids learning in school we need to do what we can to prevent virus spread this fall,” said Dr. Lyne Filiatrault, a retired emergency room physician in Vancouver and a member of the group.

COVID response confounds SARS expert

As COVID-19 surges globally, a leading infectious disease specialist is confounded by the lack of pandemic mitigation measures in Ontario.

Q: What is your advice for people who want to stay safe this fall?

Dr. Dick Zoutman: “One is to be informed. I do recommend Dr. Tara Moriarty’s website — COVID19resources.ca,” Zoutman said. “We owe her a large debt.”

Second, when the latest COVID-19 vaccine is available, “get it,” he recommended.

Third, “buy N95 respirators and make sure you have plenty and have one with you all the time. And when you go into an indoor public space — be it a hospital, a bank, a grocery store, school — put it on. The best ones are the ones that go around your head, because they’re tighter.”

Fourth, antigen rapid tests must be made widely available. “If you have any symptoms, you need to test and isolate yourself.”

Finally, avoid indoor public places this fall, he said. “I haven’t eaten in a restaurant in almost four years, and I don’t intend to.”

#covid19 #covid-19 #what tag did I use I don't remember -_- #resources #I should go check out the people's CDC site again #The masking advice above is basically what I've been doing since March of 2020 and is unlikely to change any time soon

[rhythmelia]

From the notes from OP, the new Twitter thread that Psychotherapy Action Network made, that's actually pinned to the top of their twitter:

And the source linked is the freaking Federal Trade Commission

so that seems to be an ongoing thing.

This was the motivation I needed, seeing this again, to reach out to some of the podcasts I follow to be like, hey here's a source from the *FTC*, why are you still accepting sponsorships from BetterHelp?

Original thread

Sourced report

#BetterHelp #BetterHelp is a scam #patient privacy #medical #I keep hearing stories about shady practices re:treatment of the therapists too but I haven't seen any sources reporting yet #So if anyone wants to share that too.... #my addition

[rhythmelia]

i have literally no horse in this fight (hm..... this idiom doesn't feel right, I probably mixed two up but I'm too lazy to look it up right now XD) since I don't eat these but it's fascinating to go in the notes and see all the different variations that people from different regions and cultures mean when they use this name for a food, and tbh all the variations do sound tasty :D

.....some folks could stand to be less mean and judgy about other people's food though, Y I K E S 😑

[ID: screenshot of the New York Times Cooking newsletter. Subject line and headline both read, “Pigs in a blanket, to win every party.” There is a picture of cocktail wieners wrapped in crescent rolls.]

“Mini hotdogs tucked into flaky and tender store-bought crescent rolls are equal parts retro, nostalgia and comfort wrapped into one bite-size bundle. Homemade pigs in a blanket are an evergreen party staple and a cinch to make. If you can’t find cocktail-size wieners, you can simply cut half a dozen regular hotdogs into 1 1/2 inch-long pieces and use those. Serve with your favorite condiments, like honey mustard or ketchup. This is a snack that never falls out of favor.”

@copperbadge the NYT has thrown a gauntlet

#food #regional names of food #image descriptions #my addition

[rhythmelia]

list of check please characters I think should be adapted as POC in a potential TV show (not for narrative reasons i just think it would be funny):

Parse: I know, I know, racebending antagonists is not cool and it will set us up for even more racism from an already racist fandom but consider — how fucking funny would this be?

Whiskey's Chad: remember how (pre-Foxtrot) everyone made Foxtrot a white lacrosse bro for literally no reason?? anyway Foxtrot is perfect and taken but Whiskey's Chad should still be not white

Fry guy: this one is self explanatory. I have read more headcanons about fry guy than is necessary

Camilla Collins: we must steal the popular white side characters even from the lesbians

Ollie AND Wicky: this will be done to highlight how the existing fandom treats characters of colour (e.g. giving them 1 non-specific character trait and ignoring them 99% of the time)

#omgcp #unacaritafeliz your brain #I love it #headcanon

[rhythmelia]

What part of 'the wellbeing of workers has an impact on the work they do' is hard for some people to understand? Like even if you don't have a single fraction of common decency or care for other peoples' welfare, and don't care whether they live or die, you should still care whether you live or die. You don't have to be morally against human suffering in order to believe in workers' rights.

An overworked truck driver falls asleep on the wheel and swerves on you in traffic? You're gonna die. An overworked nurse doing a 24 hour shift gets two patients confused? You're gonna die. A bridge collapses under you because the building materials provided were dogshit, and none of the builders wanted to speak out because the one to voice a complaint is going to get fired, and they all have kids to feed? You're going to die.

You literally do not have to care about other people. Nobody is demanding you to give a shit whether anybody else lives or dies. You just have to aknowledge that if the people touching your food, building the roads you drive on and buildings you go into, and altogether work in putting together every single thing that you need in order to live, are dying on the job, that's gonna hurt you too.

Being served like a God and fed with human sacrifice does not make you immortal like one.

#labor #labor movement #I think about this all the time #solidarity #union solidarity

[rhythmelia]

screaming into the void

But I really really REALLY need my fellow non-Black folks of color around the world to just. Sit down and hush about the use of the n-word.

Yes, I believe in a growth mindset, that we are all imperfect humans who have fucked up and will fuck up in the future, and life is a process of unlearning a lot of shit and learning to recognize things like dogwhistles and micro aggressions and macro aggressions and learning how to not perpetuate shit. Making amends for past wrongs and doing better next time.

I'm also aware that our society (thanks, legacy of slavery and colonialism!) is awash in so much anti-Blackness, like it is Baked. In. To so many structural things, and pervades so many cultural things around the world.

So I just. Really really want to call in my fellow non-Black folks of color - like, it is not helping to go harass Black fans about their opinions when our/your faves do something shitty! Black folks are not a monolith, and are allowed to have complicated feelings about what they're willing to tolerate or not when being a fan, given, again how pervasive anti-Blackness and cultural appropriation of Blackness is in pop culture, among other things!!

In my perspective, the n-word is not ours to reclaim, if we're not Black! Plain and simple. The legacy of centuries of slavery, and pain, and ongoing racism and harm today....whyyyyy do you want so bad to be able to use this one word, hmm? Or for our/your faves to be able to use it with no consequences, hmmmmm? Please reflect.

Idk how to end this, this is just a rant and I want to send solidarity and support and positive energy to Black fans dealing with some bullshit.

#my stuff #vague posting #The evergreen #fandom racism #I see you fandom #kpop critical #BTS critical #I love the guys I'm army but I wish there were better spaces to have these conversations #Since antis will only criticize to stoke fan wars without actually caring about Black folks #and a lot of armys are trying to rationalize things away when dude these guys are human #and sometimes will do shitty things and we as fans are allowed to be like 'hey that was not cool' #without getting shouted down as if we were not also fans - who want them to do better as human beings #anti-Blackness #racism #lateral bigotry #But auuuugh ppj's comment that Tae unthinkingly being cool with singing/mouthing words on *live broadcast* #Implying a certain amount of casualness about saying that off-camera #and for me that either nobody around him was calling him in like 'hey that is not cool' or someone was and he was not listening or learning #either way is not great #I'm not going to cancel anybody but that sure does get added to my overall thoughts and feelings about the band I'm a fan of for sure #In terms of paying attention to how they grow (or not) over time given the messages they have in their music and interviews and charity wor #About accepting ourselves and others #Regardless of gender identity - nationality- race - age - religion etc #critical thinking #thinky thoughts #We gotta have these conversations about race and racism and various intersections and confront this shit in our communities #Fandom reflects wider society and this shit cycles over and over -_-

[rhythmelia]

Long covid has derailed my life. Make no mistake: It could yours, too.

By Madeline Miller for the Washington Post, August 9th, 2023.

Audio version available in the inline link.

Madeline Miller, a novelist, is the author of “The Song of Achilles” and “Circe.”

In 2019, I was in high gear. I had two young children, a busy social life, a book tour and a novel in progress. I spent my days racing between airports, juggling to-do lists and child care. Yes, I felt tired, but I come from a family of high-energy women. I was proud to be keeping the sacred flame of Productivity burning.

Then I got covid.

I didn’t know it was covid at the time. This was early February 2020, before the government was acknowledging SARS-CoV-2’s spread in the United States.

In the weeks after infection, my body went haywire. My ears rang. My heart would start galloping at random times. I developed violent new food allergies overnight. When I walked upstairs, I gasped alarmingly.

I reached out to doctors. One told me I was “deconditioned” and needed to exercise more. But my usual jog left me doubled over, and when I tried to lift weights, I ended up in the ER with chest pains and tachycardia. My tests were normal, which alarmed me further. How could they be normal? Every morning, I woke breathless, leaden, utterly depleted.

Worst of all, I couldn’t concentrate enough to compose sentences. Writing had been my haven since I was 6. Now, it was my family’s livelihood. I kept looking through my pre-covid novel drafts, desperately trying to prod my sticky, limp brain forward. But I was too tired to answer email, let alone grapple with my book.

When people asked how I was, I gave an airy answer. Inside, I was in a cold sweat. My whole future was dropping away. Looking at old photos, I was overwhelmed with grief and bitterness. I didn’t recognize myself. On my best days, I was 30 percent of that person.

I turned to the internet and discovered others with similar experiences. In fact, my symptoms were textbook — a textbook being written in real time by “first wavers” like me, comparing notes and giving our condition a name: long covid.

In those communities, everyone had stories like mine: life-altering symptoms, demoralizing doctor visits, loss of jobs, loss of identity. The virus can produce a bewildering buffet of long-term conditions, including cognitive impairment and cardiac failure, tinnitus, loss of taste, immune dysfunction, migraines and stroke, any one of which could tank quality of life.

For me, one of the worst was post-exertional malaise (PEM), a Victorian-sounding name for a very real and debilitating condition in which exertion causes your body to crash. In my new post-covid life, exertion could include washing dishes, carrying my children, even just talking with too much animation. Whenever I exceeded my invisible allowance, I would pay for it with hours, or days, of migraines and misery.

There was no more worshiping productivity. I gave my best hours to my children, but it was crushing to realize just how few hours there were. Nothing was more painful than hearing my kids delightedly laughing and being too sick to join them.

Doctors looked at me askance. They offered me antidepressants and pointed anecdotes about their friends who’d just had covid and were running marathons again.

I didn’t say I’d love to be able to run. I didn’t say what really made me depressed was dragging myself to appointments to be patronized. I didn’t say that post-viral illness was nothing new, nor was PEM — which for decades had been documented by people with myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome — so if they didn’t know what I was talking about, they should stop sneering and get caught up. I was too sick for that, and too worried.

I began scouring medical journals the way I used to close-read ancient Greek poetry. I burned through horrifying amounts of money on vitamins and supplements. At night, my fears chased themselves. Would I ever get relief? Would I ever finish another book? Was long covid progressive?

It was a bad moment when I realized that any answer to that last question would come from my own body. I was in the first cohort of an unwilling experiment.

When vaccines rolled out, many people rushed back to “normal.” My world, already small, constricted further.

Friends who invited me out to eat were surprised when I declined. I couldn’t risk reinfection, I said, and suggested a masked, outdoor stroll. Sure, they said, we’ll be in touch. Zoom events dried up. Masks began disappearing. I tried to warn the people I loved. Covid is airborne. Keep wearing an N95. Vaccines protect you but don’t stop transmission.

Few wanted to listen. During the omicron wave, politicians tweeted about how quickly they’d recovered. I was glad for everyone who was fine, but a nasty implication hovered over those of us who weren’t: What’s your problem?

Friends who did struggle often seemed embarrassed by their symptoms. I’m just tired. My memory’s never been good. I gave them the resources I had, but there were few to give. There is no cure for long covid. Two of my friends went on to have strokes. A third developed diabetes, a fourth dementia. One died.

I’ve watched in horror as our public institutions have turned their back on containment. The virus is still very much with us, but the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has stopped reporting on cases. States have shut down testing. Corporations, rather than improving ventilation in their buildings, have pushed for shield laws indemnifying them against lawsuits.

Despite the crystal-clear science on the damage covid-19 does to our bodies, medical settings have dropped mask requirements, so patients now gamble their health to receive care. Those of us who are high-risk or immunocompromised, or who just don’t want to roll the dice on death and misery, have not only been left behind — we’re being actively mocked and pathologized.

I’ve personally been ridiculed, heckled and coughed on for wearing my N95. Acquaintances who were understanding in the beginning are now irritated, even offended. One demanded: How long are you going to do this? As if trying to avoid covid was an attack on her, rather than an attempt to keep myself from sliding further into an abyss that threatens to swallow my family.

The United States has always been a terrible place to be sick and disabled. Ableism is baked into our myths of bootstrapping and self-reliance, in which health is virtue and illness is degeneracy. It is long past time for a bedrock shift, for all of us.

We desperately need access to informed care, new treatments, fast-tracked research, safe spaces and disability protections. We also need a basic grasp of the facts of long covid. How it can follow anywhere from 10 to 30 percent of infections. How infections accumulate risk. How it’s not anxiety or depression, though its punishing nature can contribute to both those things. How children can get it; a recent review puts it at 12 to 16 percent of cases. How long-haulers who are reinfected usually get worse. How as many as 23 million Americans have post-covid symptoms, with that number increasing daily.

More than three years later, I still have long covid. I still give my best hours to my children, and I still wear my N95. Thanks to relentless experimentation with treatments, I can write again, but my fatigue is worse. I recognize how fortunate I am: to have a caring partner and community, health insurance, good doctors (at last), a job I can do from home, a supportive publishing team, and wonderful readers who recommend my books. I’m grateful to all those who have accepted the new me without making me beg.

Some days, long covid feels manageable. Others, it feels like a crushing mountain on my chest. I yearn for the casual spontaneity and scope of my old life. I miss the friends and family who have moved on. I grieve those lost forever.

So how long am I going to do this? Until indoor air is safe for all, until vaccines prevent transmission, until there’s a cure for long covid. Until I’m not risking my family’s future on a grocery run. Because the truth is that however immortal we feel, we are all just one infection away from a new life.

#covid-19 #long COVID #long post #US trashfire #public health #Masking forever and making my family do the same as much as I'm able to influence them

[rhythmelia]

@prismatic-bell does some fannish preservation I believe....

And aren't there a couple of universities in the US that do some fannish preservation as well...?

FOR SALE: old Star Trek fan collectables, from the late 70s all the way up to the early '00s!

first up: a whole bunch of old Starlog magazines, from late 70s into the 80s, along with some other magazines and Star Trek fan club zines, a little picture book with a vinyl record, and... a tiny lunch box!

next: a huge bunch of Star Trek Universe collectable binder cards! with synopses, behind the scenes info, trivia, and cool pictures, from the original series to the next generation, and, although it's hard to see because i spread a couple of the pages out as an example, five big empty star trek universe binders with which to hold your many pages. or your schoolwork. or your printed out spirk fanfic, i'm not gonna judge you.

finally: giant poster books, several unofficial fanbooks, an Uhura comic book, ACTUAL PHASER GUNS (functionality not verified, but they look unused besides the box being a little squashed. storage'll do that to ya.) some collector cards i think? and then, honestly the prize of the collection imo, a photocomic book of AMOK TIME, the ORIGINAL fuck-or-die episode.

i'm going to be completely truthful here: i don't even have a price in mind for any of this. i know it's just old fan stuff. this collection belonged to my late mother, an absolute diehard trekkie from the moment it aired, who valued being able to engage with her stuff rather than keep it pristine or focus on big ticket items. like, again, it's all just old fan stuff!

but i know that the star trek fandom pioneered a lot of that old fan stuff. i don't know how much of that my mom was actively involved with beyond just collecting these things (if she was secretly a spirk truther, she took that to the grave with her), but i know it meant a lot to her. thus, primarily, i want this stuff to go to someone who will equally treasure it for its history, not for its (lack of) collector's value. so, DM me an offer for whatever jumps out at you. i'll consider pretty much anything, and i'm happy to take closer pictures on request.

i'd appreciate this being reblogged far and wide, in the hopes that it reaches the classic star trek corners of tumblr.

in my mother's memory, live long and prosper.

#star trek #fannish preservation #I love the things fans do #signal boost

[rhythmelia]

can people with harry potter urls just not fucking follow me

#image description #Harry Potter #I was so into the fandom as a young adult #And the ways people could write things that subverted the shitty elements of the world building #Some of the fics that explored gender themes really helped me #But yeah #Do what you wanna do I'm not a cop #But as a queer Asian person I realized partway through the series #That JKR's world would not have welcomed me #I refuse to support by money hype or exposure a person who is using that money and influence in order to actively harm others #transphobia #racism #antisemitism #xenophobia #Like so so many Jewish folks have talked about how there is just so much antisemitism in the original work and in all the newer works #Across media formats

[rhythmelia]

FEMA is doing an emergency alert test on all TVs, radios, and cell phones on October 4, 2023, at approximately 2:20pm ET.

If you live in the US and you have a phone you need to keep secret for any reason, make sure that it is turned off at this time.

Yes, I'm doing this months in advance, and yes, my blog has very little reach, but I figure better to post about it more than less.

Please reblog and add better tags than mine, I'm bad at tags.

#signal boost #emergency alert system #USA #safety #safety tips