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reneedeneve · a day ago
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Sometimes there really are no words to explain.
No cues to help convey the insane.
Nothing to think of that bring clarity.
It’s all just a cloud of fog and the wide unknown.
Just keep going, just one step at a time.
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reneedeneve · 5 days ago
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One of the beautiful, joyful things in life. Ice creme, oh lala. The excitement, that of which was greater and deeper than that shared of the 2 and 5 year old hand in hand.
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reneedeneve · 7 days ago
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I found this note I wrote a few months after my mum passed away and I was in the midst of personal turmoil:
Grief is a strange thing. I was told this by someone who not long before the loss I experienced, faced the loss of someone they loved dearly.
Like the slow waves that reach the top of your toes, and then slowly leaves to go back into the sea. The gravity of grief ebbs and flows with the changing weather day to day.
Death is not something easily to converse, let alone to be confronted with. My silence only aided to the surreal circumstances that I found myself in.
I knew it would happen one day and that day came and slowly unraveled every piece of my life, like a hurricane that knew no bounds, wrecking havoc but presenting silence in the eye of this very storm.
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reneedeneve · 8 days ago
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A poem which I discovered today and like to share:
Destruction
BY CHARLES BAUDELAIRE
TRANSLATED BY C. F. MACINTYRE
At my side the Demon writhes forever,
Swimming around me like impalpable air;
As I breathe, he burns my lungs like fever
And fills me with an eternal guilty desire.
Knowing my love of Art, he snares my senses,
Apearing in woman's most seductive forms,
And, under the sneak's plausible pretenses,
Lips grow accustomed to his lewd love-charms.
He leads me thus, far from the sight of God,
Panting and broken with fatigue into
The wilderness of Ennui, deserted and broad,
And into my bewildered eyes he throws
Visions of festering wounds and filthy clothes,
And all Destruction's bloody retinue.
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reneedeneve · 9 days ago
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“Nothing in life is permanent”
I read this on a social media post a few months ago and I used this as my personal belief that everything is in ebb and flow motion. This continual belief has held me, given me hope in the unknown and also that despite our resistance, change is continuous.
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reneedeneve · 10 days ago
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I was listening to an Oprah podcast this week and the following was quoted and it really resonated with me:
“Victory is in the process, not the outcome”.
So often I would sit on ideas and not even start them, with the perfectionist in me succeeding to argue that it will be no good. So I don’t even try. It has been a conflict within me since I was at uni, though I actually believe (and I should really cultivate this in my day to day), that the trying is the success even if it ends in failure.
So here is my own reminder, just do it. Try it, make it, create it, share it.
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reneedeneve · 11 days ago
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What I would like to have to taught my younger self (she probably wouldn’t have listened but worth a try):
To feel, accept and embrace all the pain and tremendous painful moments you will experience and draw the meaning of the very root of the pain, to know that this is an opportunity for the deepest growth you will experience. The darkest days, will be your brightest lights.
To embrace creativity with all its glory that will fill you with confidence, belief and a ton of fun along the way. That you can create and make anything you like and learn along the way, but just the mere process of doing, will give you such a good feeling and allow you to go from step to step.
That you never needed any kind of substance to do or be someone and use it as an excuse. You are just as good as you are, just as you are. Drinking alcohol only devoids you of the true person you really are and serves you a mask that misrepresents everything that is truly important. It’s a waste of time and time is precious. Soak up the nature on a Saturday morning instead and cook those delicious meals.
To listen to your gut feeling. It’s there, it’s your navigator. Don’t ignore it altogether.
That your inner most fear, your inner child, the most inner you will pull your strings and cause chaos, when none is needed. To remain calm, and worry less and to be in the moment right there and then. No comparison needed. Let love be as it flows.
And lastly to follow that aim, even when served with a no. Don’t always accept no. You will find that, where there is a will, there is a way.
And why don’t you learn an instrument and read poetry?!
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reneedeneve · 12 days ago
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“I will not have you, without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither we.” ~ Nikita Gill
Those words, formed in one short paragraph but that serve to remind myself to discover that hidden inner being to truly accept those for who they really are. There in is letting go, of all that you didn’t think you could. There in is freedom. There in is love.
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reneedeneve · 13 days ago
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Those days of Easter are here.
Lots of little bunnies everywhere.
The time you look for the little things that make you smile.
Time to reset. Days to reflect. Happy Easter everyone.
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reneedeneve · 14 days ago
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As the sunshine warms
my face,
I feel life’s full embrace.
As nature around me, meet its spring.
My inner me is ready to swing.
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reneedeneve · 15 days ago
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Today an oddly day.
There wasn’t much in my way.
Except the never ending tiredness.
I long for the days filled with brightness.
Though it was bright and filled with sun.
Though my body was not ok, my mind was and that’s better than ok.
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reneedeneve · 16 days ago
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reneedeneve · 17 days ago
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reneedeneve · 18 days ago
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reneedeneve · 19 days ago
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