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Shallan: Wow! You played him like a fiddle!

Hoid: Oh no, fiddles are actually quite difficult to master.

Hoid: I played that motherfucker like the cheap kazoo he is.

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The northern lords: we shall call you... the Young Wolf!

Robb: okay, cool, but like... what will you call me when I get older?

Roose, from the back of the crowd: you won’t

Robb: what?

Roose: what?

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steve: I have an idea!

bucky: a good one?

steve: come on, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

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*robin voice* S L A D E

Deathstroke: D I C K

Robin: excuse me whAT

Deathstroke: oh sorry I thought we were on a first name basis

Robin: wait. Slade is—

Deathstroke: on my birth certificate, yes

Robin: what the fuck. what the fuck.

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Y. YEAH DAREDEVIL IS BLIND. THAT'S HIS WHOLE THING.

Why Does He Echolocate Tho??? when i was blind all i got was a stick.

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are you ok

disney built the biggest and most expensive animatronic ever in their history and then built a mountain around it and it BROKE a couple of months after the ride opened and it’s impossible to fix it without dismantling the entire mountain structure and that’s honestly the most hilarious verified disney fact™ ever

the second most hilarious being that the chum animatronic on the finding nemo ride at epcot used to pop out of the barrel to scare guests but one time a cast member was walking past it during an opening/closing procedure and it popped out and smacked them clean in the face so now it’s turned off permanently

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13-year old Bruce Wayne attempting to grab all the grocery bags at once, around 55lbs. He’s hanging bags his small arms, and a small bag around his neck

Alfred: “Master Bruce, this isn’t necessary”

Bruce: *grunting and struggling* “all or nothing”

Alfred: *small smile* “please don’t drop the eggs”

Bruce: “Alfred, could you-“ *deep breath* “-open the door, please”

Alfred: “of course, master B”

17-year-old Bruce Wayne attempting to grab all the bags at once, a much larger load then normal, around 80lbs

Bruce: *speed walking*

Alfred: “Bruce, you don’t have to do this every time”

Bruce: *chuckles* “I must! All or nothing!” *small grunt*

24 year old Bruce Wayne, attempting to get all the groceries at once, around 85lbs. All bags on one arm

Bruce: *smiling to himself in victory*

Alfred: “would your like me to get the door?”

Bruce: “no, I think I can handle it”

45-year-old Bruce Wayne attempting to get all the groceries inside at once. Loud screaming and the sound of thundering footsteps disturb all tranquility

Dick: MOVE IT *shoves Jason down*

Damian: *Naruto running* “I can carry more than you, Todd!”

Cassandra: *already loading herself up with bags*

Bruce: “one trip everyone! One trip! Come on, we’ve trained for this!” *makes eye contact with Duke* “get the dog food too!”

More loud screaming all they all pack groceries on their bodies. Bags hanging from shoulders, arms, necks, anywhere possible

Stephanie is literally just a wall of groceries, she can’t see, she doesn’t care. She only wants victory

Damian’s face is bright red, he’s carrying half his weight, his legs are barley moving

Jason, the buff undead boy he is, picks up Damian on top of his load

Dick has his back bent at an unnatural angle as he tries to balance items on his chest and neck

Duke is literally screaming while he walks. He won’t quit, but he can feel his skeleton collapsing

Cassandra, looks graceful as she carries an enormous load. Not even a glimmer of sweat, not the smallest indication of a grimace

Tim is light headed, he can’t tell if his legs are moving anymore, but like Duke he won’t quit. One trip or nothing

Bruce is following Jason’s lead, he’s piled high with groceries. His knees are clicking as he walks, his back and neck give loud pops when he leans too far to one side. He can taste victory.

Alfred is smiling fondly as he watches his family carry on a tradition that a broken little boy started so he could feel strong and accomplished

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Jason Todd

fan art

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Have the batfam as some wild youtube recs i've gotten in one (1) day:

Jason:

Steph:

Dick:

Tim:

Bruce:

Cass:

Duke:

Damian:

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Jason: I’d like to remind you all that your lives would be pretty dull without me.

Duke:

Cass:

Tim:

Dick: What did you do this time?

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do you ever think jason finds comfort in the fact damian seems not to get fazed by the joker at all? every robins life has been influenced by the joker in some way or the other, dick was so close to bruce he found out what their destructive relationship is like firsthand, jason obviously was murdered by him, tim was introduced to batman during his depression and apprehension because of/for the joker but damian? damian gets a crowbar, locks himself in the same room as the joker, and starts beating him to the point both jim gordon and dick grayson are scared. for the joker.

do you think jason is silently comforted by the thought that this kid, more or less his brother isnt scared of his childhoods number one terror? and he finds solace in that fact

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IT’S ALMOST NATIONAL DADDY ISSUES DAY.

#daddy issues are fantastic #father’s day #i’m a depressed nerd so i’m tagging this as batfam shit cause the bat kids can relate #dc comics #tim drake #jason todd #red hood #red robin #incorrect dc quotes #jason #dick grayson #jason and tim #nightwing #i’m funny i swear #issues #happy father’s day 2021 #happy fathers day #yikes

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[Caught by Penguin’s goons and tied to chairs in a warehouse, waiting for the cavalry]

Red Robin: I’m gonna say it. Shakespeare is overrated.

Red Hood: Ok, first of all: how dare you. Second of all: how DARE you?

Red Robin: He’s boring and Romeo and Juliet is ridiculous bullshit.

Red Hood: Counterpoint. Romeo and Juliet was always meant to be satire and if you read it with the knowledge that teenagers are idiots it’s actually a fantastic, mean commentary on teenage romance.

Red Robin: The only way I’ll accept that argument is if he was purposefully making fun of a particular pair of teenagers that he knew in real life and “Romeo and Juliet” was really Shakespeare being petty and mocking his cousin or something.

Red Hood: You- yeah that would be great actually.

Red Robin: Right? Still, my original point stands: Shakespeare is given way too much credit. So he invented some words. big whoop.

Red Hood: He basically invented the English language!

Red Robin: He better have considering the lenght of some of the monologues.

Red Hood: Look, thanks to Shakespeare we get to study dick jokes in school. There are so many dick jokes! How can you NOT like him?

Red Robin: One would think you’d be over Dick jokes, growing up in our family.

Red Hood: Well where do you think I get most of my material??

Red Robin: I’ll concede that Macbeth is okay, but the rest of his tragedies? I mean, Hamlet? More like Ham-let-me-out-of-this-AP-English-class

Red Hood: One, that was sub-par and I expect better from you. Two; are you seriously going after HAMLET?

Red Robin: [snorts] Of COURSE you would enjoy a play about a death-obsessed dude with daddy issues and a thirst for revenge.

Red Hood: OK, POINT! But I’m still HELLA insulted. And Shakespeare is a master at exploring the human condition!

Red Robin: [rolls his eyes]

Red Hood: [to one of the Henchmen guarding them] Hey, you! With the ski-mask and bad enough judgement to wear sneakers to a gunfight!

Henchman: Uh… yea?

Red Hood: Back me up here. Shakespeare is a cultural icon.

Henchman: well, uh, he always kinda bored me in school

Red Robin: A-HA!

Red Hood: Oh shut up. Since when are Penguin’s goons the go-to authority on literature

Red Robin: Since Shakespeare gets way too much credit because of fanboys like you.

Red Hood: Says the man who CRIED about the Hobbit movies. Several times.

Red Robin: THEY RUINED IT. EXCELLENT PRECEDENCE, EXCELLENT SOURCE MATERIAL AND THEY-

Boss Henchman: [barges in] what the fuck is going on in here? Who’s making so much fucking noise?

Red Hood: [inclines his head towards Red Robin] Red Robin here thinks Shakespeare is overrated.

Boss Henchman: [immidiately involved] YOU’RE INSULTING THE BARD? HE BASICALLY INVENTED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Red Hood: [mimicking Red Robin] A-HA!

Red Robin: Look, if you want to stan an author who made a comedy about gaslighting and subjugating a woman through marriage be my guest but I’m different

Boss Henchman: That’s a bullshit argument

Henchman #2 -a woman: Nah, he’s got a legit point.

Red Robin: Thank you!

Red Hood: One bad play doesn’t mean you can diminish the impact of his work as a whole

Red Robin: Oh CAN’T I?

Boss Henchman: I will not stand here and see the Bard slighted in my own house- warehouse- whatever!

—–20 minutes later—–

Boss Henchman: -HISTORICAL CONTEXT

Red Robin: SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A SEXIST APOLOGIST WOULD SAY

Red Hood: THAT’S NOT EVEN-

—–40 minutes later—–

Boss Henchman: SHAKESPEARE SHOWED ME THAT WORDS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL

Henchman #1: I WENT TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL!! THEY MADE ME PLAY JULIET DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT I GOT ON THE STREETS

—–70 minutes later—–

Red Hood: YOUNG LEONARDO DI CAPRIO WAS A LEGIT SNACC AND IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE YOU’RE LYING

Red Robin: SO WATCH GANGS OF NEW YORK AT LEAST THAT’S INTERESTING

—–90 minutes later—–

Red Robin: THE FUCKING BARREL SCENE!! WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?!!

—–2 hours later—–

Red Hood: HE TAUGHT HISTORY TO THE MASSES!

Red Robin: HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SLEEP IN CLASS WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT IS WHAT HE DID

—–2,5 hours later—–

Boss Henchman: [pointing a gun at Henchman #1] HOW DARE YOU CALL OTHELLO A LI'L BITCH-

Henchman #2: [Hits Boss Henchman over the head with a chair] JUSTICE FOR KATHERINA

Red Robin: [Cheering] GET HIM, SUSAN

—–4 hours later—–

——The Batcave——

Bruce: [tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose] Ok, tell me again how you managed to escape.

Tim and Jason: [glancing at each other]

Tim: First off, I’d like to state for the record that we had everything perfectly under control.

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bad guy: i’ll make you wish you were never born.

jason: nice try, but i already wish i was never born !

#dc comics #jason todd #red hood #incorrect dc quotes #red hood and the outlaws #outlaws #rhato #rhato rebirth #new 52 #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect batman quotes

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sport  college!AU

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Jason: You know...sometimes I like Dick

Dick: Aw thank you bro–

Jason: I wasn't talking about you

Dick: I– what?

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: So yeah anyway, last night I was with Roy and he has a massive di–