randomnotesofmyown

[randomnotesofmyown]

Attack on Titan: Eren's evolving sense of freedom

From the start of season one, Eren wanted to be free. He wanted to be free from the confinement of the walls and see the outside world. He wanted to have the freedom from fear--and killing every last one of the titans would make that come true. In season four, Eren's perception of freedom changed to meaning free from manipulation. As shown by what he said after he overheard Armin and Mikasa talking about the possibility of him being brainwashed by his elder half-brother: "I am free." From freedom from constraint to freedom from manipulation, Eren's heart became markedly hardened, yet he remained as furious as he was from the start. So the final shackle that made Eren unfree was perhaps the world he was born into, a world that made him angry, and this would be quite telling if Eren was to be completely free, what he must do/ or have others do to him.

Waiting for the final part of the final season… Should be out next year I assume?

#eren jaeger #attack on titan

[randomnotesofmyown]

Attack on Titan -- fear and longing

The first season told a captivating story and I was intriqued. So I then continued watching the subsequent seasons. By the time I got to the fourth and final season of the series, it finally occurred to me what was so tragic about the whole story. The Eldians, a race capable of turning into titans, were kept ignorant by the ruler of their own nation, or were treated as tools and pariah in the nation of Marley. To gain acceptance from the government in Marley, the Marley Eldians residing in Marley were very submissive. Yet even so, the Marley Eldians were treated as outcast and were rountinely sent to their death so that the Marley could expand their territories, and they were fed with the indoctrination that those Eldians residing in the Paradis Island were nothing but demons that must be eliminated, even though both groups of Eldians were actually the same people sharing identical genes--and although those infriltrated the Paradis armed force (Reiner and his friends) realized the people they were told to hate were just as human as they were--with the same emotions and longings: the desire to stay alive, the desire to protect friends, family and loved ones, and fear and hatred, the years of indoctrination enabled the Marley Eldians to ignore whatever contradicted what they were told about the Paradis Eldians, and tried on several occasions to kill off every last Eldians on the island.

So the tragedy for both groups of Eldians was that they confined themselves to the roles or beliefs given to them and were thus unaware of other possibilities, of a way out, for two millennia.

Will have wait for the last part of the final season to know how it wraps up.

#attack on titan

[randomnotesofmyown]

Psycho Pass 3

The third season of the series contained 8 episodes, each had a run time of about 45 minutes. And it ended with what appeared to me a cliffhanger. Then one day, I began watching the First Inspector trilogy, and at end of the third part I finally got to know how the story really ended: with a hope for a new possibility, a new future with the freedom to choose, and with that the responsibilty to live with the results of those choices.

Throughout the eight plus three episodes, the third season showed the various types of responsibility people had for one another, as supervisors (Shimotsuki), as friends (Shindo), as colleagues (members of Unit One), as husband and wife (the Igantov couple), as poeple who had to do their job (Karanomori) and as human who needed to shoulder the consequences of their decisions and actions. It also showed the ambitions and greed of humans, for dominance, for power, and for prestige.

Was a good show with a nice ending, though I still couldn't figure out just what Tsunemori did that landed her into custody. As the season concluded, this remains an unsolvable puzzle.

#Psycho Pass 3

[randomnotesofmyown]

Demon Slayers - the Entertainment ("Red Light") District arc: thoughts & stuff

Finally watched Yukaku hen--the Entertainment ("Red Light") District arc of Demon Slayers. Felt one of its themes was like a comparison of two pairs of brother and sister who suffered misfortune and how they responded to what happened to them respectively.

The second half of the arc was about the battle between the demon brother and sister, both Upper Six of the 12 Kizuki and the demon slayers. It was so capitivating, and I was so eager to see how it ended that I watched all those episodes in one go. The last time I did something like this was when I watched the first season of the Promised Neverland. After finished watching, I felt something hard to put in words--content, relief, and some kind of new understanding, reminder.

All people could change is but themselves.

Perhaps it was my own experiences that affected how I comprehend its story. Tanjiro tried, time and again, to do what he could to overcome insurmoutable hurdles, obstacles, even when he sensed that he was not up to it, he kept trying, kept looking for ways to do what he felt he must do. Such a fighter spirit.

In my own case, when I saw an insurmountable hurdle of things along this line, pretty often I would just thought to myself that I couldn't do this, I didn't have the knowledge, the skills to do that. Saw a challenge, and instead of thinking how to solve it, I focused on my own shortcomings. I've been thinking with this mindset for over ten years at least. And so far in my own life I only managed to get by, hardly achieved anything worth mentioning. And I remain a noob, someone of no significance, someone who lost hope for a better future. Maybe it's time to pay attention to what I think and look for ways to overcome obstacles in front of me.

#demon slayer #kimestu no yaiba

[randomnotesofmyown]

God Eater: J. Schicksal and Utsugi Lenka

Finished watching the 13 episodes depicting how survivors defended themselves against aragami, monsters that were engineered by scientists who sought to save the world, lived on in that world after a human-induced global catastrophe took place and found meaning in life when there was no hope.

After some thinking it occurred to me that J. Schicksal, the Far East branch Chief of Fenrir, and Utsugi Lenka shared some similarities and yet were decidedly different.

Similarities: Both characters were propelled to keep going by the sacrifice(s) of people dear to them. For J. Schicksal, it was his wife who gave her life to help the scientist with his life's work; for Utsugi Lenka, it was his adoptive family--people he came to refer to as his mother, father and elder sister--who believed Lenka had a future and one by one chose him over themselves when they realized they could not go further. The two characters were both doers. They took actions. Where Dr. Schicksal dealt with the consequences of him own engineering and plan an ark-like scheme to save the human spicies from extinction by deciding who got on, Utsugi Lenka fought aragami and sought to bring hope to others, despite knowing that using the weapon specially made to fight those human-made monsters.

Difference: Dr. Schicksal aspired to become god and when he saw no one else as his equal. All other people, his son included, were tools to him. Peole who were not of use to him or posed threats to his project, he would get rid of them without mercy. Utsugi Lenka understood there was only so much he could do alone. He saw values in other people and trusted in them.

Side note: Ohara Sayaka and Koyama Rikiya worked together yet in again in this anime, and Sakamoto Maaya was also part of the cast. When I saw the names of this three, I just thought, what a great cast!

#god eater

[randomnotesofmyown]

Fate/Extra-Last encore

Kind of felt the spin off ruined Tohsaka Rin, a great character from the Fate/Zero and Fate/SN, Fate/SN-UBW, Fate/SN-HF series. This spin off reduced her to a mere supporting character and made her engage in a battle with infinite loops against her rival and thus she and her rival killed each other countless times and they couldn't stop the meaningless killing as neither could achieve a decisive victory. All other important characters got sidelined. Sakura, Kotemine Kirei, the jealous Matou Shinji and all.

End of my rant.

#fate/extra

[randomnotesofmyown]

Night head 2041: ep 11-12

Ep.11: The SWE jets were sent back to Japan, so were the Kirihara brothers. As Naoto and Naoya walked, they saw themselves reliving the memories of the Kuroki brothers. At the basement where Takuya and Yuya first saw Futami Shoko, the Kirihara brothers saw that girl appeared in front of them. She came to say that she too had a role. To the questions from the Kirihara brothers of why they had these powers and what do they do, Shoko replied that she only made suggestions, people would have decide for themselves. Then, after stating the coming of an end, Shoko said farewell and disappeared. The Kuroki brothers and the Kirihara brothers found each other. Naoya and Yuya, hoping to sever the relationships between them and save the world from destruction, ran toward each other. They created a kind of vortex, which Kimie said to indicate the beginning of the end.

Ep. 12:

SWE leader was fixated to killing both Naoto and Takuya, and with the ability the nullify the powers of Naoto and Takuya, he overpowered them. However, Kimie intervened, saying that killing the two after the vortex was formed would cause annihilation of the world. Realizing that her words fell on deaf ears, she fired a shot at the SWE leader, then spoke to him as the prophet, saying that he had done enough for the world.

Takuya and Naoto entered the vortex and found their little brothers. Inside the vortex the four finally understood why their being in the same world would create a paradox. Understanding that only two could remain, the Kirihara brothers decided that the Kuroki brothers were the persons this world needed, and they should leave, return to the world they belong.

Takuya and Yuya woke up and found themselves in a forest (the intermediary world). They got in a car and found Futami Shoko's notebook. Yuya said he received a message from Shoko, telling them where they have to go. The two then drove to an antique shop, and there they saw their parents. After the reunion, the Kuroki brothers stood on a roof top, saying to each other that a new world had begun.

Nighthead 2041: a story of personal growth

Brief summary:

As the story progressed, Naoto became a changed person, from thinking what he wanted for himself and his brother to what he could do for others with his powers. And he internalized what he had repeatedly been told: that every person had a role to play, a responsibility to fulfill, and that to do so would involve pain and sacrifice.

Takuya, too, changed how he saw as the way to do the right things. From doing as he was told by the SWE leader to doing as he himself thought was right. In a nutshell, Night head 2041 is a story of personal growth.

#night head 2041

[randomnotesofmyown]

Night head 2041: ep 9-10

Ep. 9: Okuhara Akiko teleported the souls/mental versions of the Kirihara brothers and the four SWE psychics to her own mind and was determined to have the Kirihara brothers killed. Seeing Naoto being assaulted, the Kuroki brothers had second thoughts about what they were ordered to do. Before Naoto was dealt the finishing blow, Masayuki appeared, hacked Okuhara's network, eliminated the attackers and took away every bit of Okuhara's power. The Kirihara brothers went teleported to Mikuriya's facility and they met Mikuriya's apparition for one last time. When Naoya asked Mikuriya's about their role, the reply was that they would be able to find out by themselves.

Misaki, Okuhara's sworn enemy, appeared as Futami Shoko and told the prophet to accept it that her time had been up long ago. The prophet saw herself disappearing. She sent out one final message: the coordinates of a location in Russia.

Ep.10: the coordinates pointed to an autonomous region in Russia, where a psychic research facility existed. The SWE team was told that their mission to destroy the facility would have no backup from the Japanese government, that they were on their own. Kimie used her mind control technique to trick a Russian General into greenlighting their mission and then created an illusion that the scientist working for the lab was gunned down by that General. The scientist's guards opened fire, and the General's men shot back. The scientist had to flee, puzzling why his guards shot. Yuya confronted Kimie, accused her of murder. Kimie dismissed that objection, saying killing a few could be justified when the entire world was at stake. Through his connection with Yuya, Naoya learned that the lab would be bombed in 7 minutes and he alerted the others. Naoto decided to stay above ground and try to defend the facility with his power. When missiles were fired, Futami Shoko, placed inside a machine, opened her eyes. A shockwave appeared, the fighter jets and the missiles vanished from the lab surrounding.

#night head 2041

[randomnotesofmyown]

Night Head 2041: ep 7-8

Ep. 7: Naoto and Naoya woke up and found themselves near the building where they first met Mikuriya. They went inside the building and were told that in 2023 a dimensional shift took place and another earth, where spiritual things were accepted as part of life and where there were no borders, appeared. Two-thirds of the world's populations become inhabitants of that earth. The remaining one-third got left behind in this earth, where people were obsessed with materialistic stuff, power, and money. Naoto and Naoya went to that earth already, but were called back to help the people in this earth. Mikuriya told the brothers that each person had a role to play, a responsibility to fulfill, to do so one would need accept the pain and sufferings that comes with it, and he gave them a Shoko's notebook.

In a training session with Kimie, Yuya passed out after he tried to find out what happened to his parents who vanished 15 years ago.

Ep. 8: Takuya started to suspect the SWE involvement in the disappearance of his parents after hearing what Yuya saw in his dream and rethinking what Naoto said when he confronted him after his parents. SWE team leader asked about the status of the prophet after hearing reports on the whereabouts of the Kirihara brothers. The location of the Kirihara brothers was discovered by the prophet when Yuya tried to read the network directly to find out about his parents. Yuya passed out. Then the prophet, using Yuya's voice, ordered to be connected with Yuya. And so Yuya met Okuhara Akiko the prohet, who told him the existence of another earth, what actually happened on July 25, 2023--not World War 3, but a dimensional shift, and that the Kirihara brothers being in this world created a paradox and would result in the destruction of this world. As the prophet ordered Yuya to deal with the Kirihara brothers, a light appeared. When that light was gone, the Kirihara brothers disappeared.

#night head 2041

[randomnotesofmyown]

Night head 2041: ep 5-6

Ep. 5: Takuya was revived. Masayuki's mother, who was a friend of Futami Shoko, recounted Shoki's ability to see what happen in the future. The night before the third world war began, she followed Shoko's instruction to stay inside a shrine. When she left the next day, she realized three months had passed. The ring leader of free speech alliance told the Kirihara brothers what people did to him because he sang a song containing forbidden content: he was set on fire and the culprit walked free, the SWE saw the culprit as doing the right thing. He then made Naoto cooperate, Naoya caught a glimpse of what was about to happen if the ring leader carried out his plan and tried to talk him out of it. The ring leader would not hear any.

Ep. 6: The ring leader executed his plan by barging into a broadcaster, intending to make Haitani, a figure known for disproving supernatural powers and phenomena, to acknowledge the existence of what him said to be lies. Naoto, remembering Naoya's words that plan would fail, hesitated. Mike opened fire at the ring leader and the SWE members entered. Naoto tried to flee, Takuya ran after him. As the two fought each other using their powers, a mysterious light appeared. When the light's gone, Naoto disappeared, so were Naoya, Emily, and Mrs. Tachibana, Masayuki's mother.

#night head 2041

[randomnotesofmyown]

Night head 2041: ep 3-4

Ep.3: The SWE was dispatched to a high school where suicides took place. When they got there, a student jumped to her death in front of the SWE members, some of whom were then controlled by another psychic and started shooting. Kimie tracked down the psychic to his home and electrocuted a young boy. Naoto and Naoya, guided by Futami Shoko, the mysterious girl seen by Takuya and Yuya, was already there when the SWE barged in. They tried to leave but were intercepted by Takuya and Yuya. The two pairs of siblings, born to the same parents in different worlds, became connected. In other words, the two pairs of siblings were not supposed to be in the same world, they were the parallel versions of each other. As Naoto and Naoya turned and started running, Takuya fired. A man emerged, saved Naoya and the injured Naoto.

Ep. 4: The man who saved the Kirihara brothers was a member of free speech alliance. The ring leader made a speech on what he thought was crazy and wrong and invited the Kirihara brothers to join his resistance. The SWE examined Masayuki, the boy they captured and determined to be responsible for the deaths at the high school. The Kuroki brothers saw the picture of the mysterious girl and learned her name: Futami Shoko, who would have been in her 40s by now.

The Kirihara brothers saw a movie about the third world war and the subsequent two-thirds reduction in the world's population. Naoto doubted if that was just for mass brainwashing. Emily, a member of Free Speech Alliance, suggested to show Naoto how psychics, and people with religious faith, were being treated: they were locked in cells, made targets of insult and mockery. Naoya picked up signals from Masayuki. Sensing the boy's wish and the imminent danger he faced, Naoya insisted to rescue that boy. When the rebels arrived at the SWE HQs, Masayuki controlled the agents in there and demanded to have his mother back. Takuya lost control of his power and his heart stopped. The rebels only managed to take Masayuki's mother with them.

#night head 2041

[randomnotesofmyown]

Night head 2041: ep 1 - 2

Ep.1: 2041. Japan. All religions and things that could not be measured or proven are outlawed. A special force, the SWE, was created to deal with those believed in unmeasurable things.

Kirihara Naoto and his younger brother Naoya woke up from what they presumed to be a 15-year of stasis, with the expectation that the time when their being psychics with supernatural ability would be accepted had finally come. They went into a bar to get something to eat and realized the world they woke up to was not what they hoped for. Seeing the reactions of Naoto and Naoya when they watched the news report of the capture of "Miracle Mick", a self-proclaimed spiritual leader, another customer laughed at the two, and proceeded to pick a fight. Both Naoto and Naoya unleashed their abilities as a result. The two hurriedly left.

During the operation to capture "Miracle Mick", SWE members were ambushed. Desperate to save his younger brother Yuya, Kuroki Takuya activated his supernatural skill, which resembled that of Naoto. When the siblings were alone, a mysterious girl appeared in front of them out of nowhere, said something about the barrier being broken, and vanished.

Ep.2: Naoto thought they woke up in 2029, and was startled to find it was 2041, and the government of Japan impose censorship to the extent of burning library books. They recalled the day when their parents gave them away.

Takuya and Yuya talked about their being abandoned by their parents fifteen years ago. The family picture showed their parents to have identical looks with the parents of Naoto and Naoya.

The two pairs of siblings came face to face and the SWE arrived at a diner to recapture Miracle Mick, who escaped after Takuya activated his skills, causing equipment disruption.

The SWE arrested Miracle Mick, who the SWE leader revealed to be a tool to sow dislief in supernatural things. The SWE members were introduced to Kobayashi Kimie, a mind controller and were instructed to awake as psychics, people with supernatural abilities.

#night head 2041

[randomnotesofmyown]

Fate Apocrypha: final thoughts

Bearing resemblance to Fate/Zero and Fate/Stay Night series, the story of Apocrypha ended after the final battle between two sides took place: Amakusa Shirou (who sought to bring salvation to all humanity by making everyone immortal) vs. Joan of Arc (who believed immorality would take meaning away from life) and Sieg (who considered the value of humans lies in the choices they have to make because of the finite time they each have).

After Sieg defeated Amakusa Shirou, he made a decision to take the Greater Grail to a place where immorality would not be needed. And Lord El-Melloi II was relieved that Shirou's wish, a disaster in his eyes, did not come true.

So it appears that if this whole Apocrypha were reduced to one idea: it would be that making choices is essential for humans. People need to decide for themselves what to do and what not to do to bring meaningful to their own life and to others.

It felt somewhat shallow when compared to Fate/Zero and Fate/Stay Night, I didn't feel as deeply the emotions of the many characters in it, I didn't feel like to dig into why the characters did what they did by watching the whole story again either. Kind of wasted the strong voice actors and actresses cast it had and its theme song.

#fate apocrypha

[randomnotesofmyown]

Fate/Apocrypha - the messages

Half way through watching Fate/Apocrypha, and it appears to me that series sought to explore a few crucial concepts: freedom, free will/fatalism, and salvation. Some meaningful quotes here and there. The old villager who took Sieg in and offered him shelter explained to Sieg that humans, because of their ties with others, cannot be absolutely free; Sieg, when questioned why he wanted to free the other homunculi when they were designed with a short life and were made as mere tools, said even if he didn't know if his decision was the right one, he wanted his kind to have the chance to choose for themselves.

This Sieg was a unique homunculus. First he saw what happened to others while he was inside a tube, he came up with the thought that he didn't want to die like that. Then he tried to escape even though he couldn't even walk.

With such a strong desire to live, however, Sieg was prepared to die for people and things mattered to him. And this made Sieg a very different character from that old, ruthless, creepy, and monstrous Matou Zouken, who saw everyone around him as tools and would do anything to prolong his own life. (That character made me wonder, what's the point of staying alive when one has long past his natural lifespan? What good it could be for a person to remain alive when he would just take without giving back? Such a person would only be a burden for others. But then, Matou Zouken couldn't care less about him being a parasite/burden. He wanted eternal life. )

If Fate/Zero & Fate/Stay Night were about the meaning of life, sin, fate, and salvation; this Apocrypha might be about the purpose of living and free will.

Still a few more episodes to go. Not sure what would be in store. That's it for now.

#fate/apocrypha #free will

[randomnotesofmyown]

Two YouTube videos on Matou Sakura

Came across a YouTube channel which contains a list of video essays/analysis. In that list there are two videos on Matou Sakura.

Finding Heroes

Tragic Fate of Sakura Matou

Watched both and liked them a lot. When I watched the three routes of Fate/Stay Night I didn't quite know how to make of Sakura. Besides, I paid more attention to Tohsaka Rin than any other characters, trying to figure out the type of person she was and how she sought to live up to her ideal of being a force for good.

So happy to find videos that shed light on Matou Sakura and include back story of Medusa.

Update (added Feb 1, 2022):

There was a scene in Presage flower that I thought should be paid attention to. Sakura was reading in a park as some children played when the it was dusk. The book Sakura had appeared to be a collection of short stories, and the one she was reading was entitled 姥桜 (うばざくら, ubazakura).

This phrase carries two meaning: a) a type of sakura the flower that blooms before the leaves emerge; b) a woman who remains beautiful even though she's passed her prime years.

And from what was legible, the short story was about a pretty girl who became so sick when she turned 15 that no doctors could cure her. The girl's wet nurse, who loved her like her own daughter, went to a temple for 21 consecutive days to pray for her recovery. And the girl recovered.

In a sense, Sakura was reading about herself.

#matou sakura #fate stay night heaven's feel

[randomnotesofmyown]

Demon Slayer - Trivia

Came across a thread on Twitter that explained some Japanese culture stuff and the last tweet directed readers to a post. Found it an interesting read, so I copied the links and share them here.

#kimestu no yaiba #demon slayer #trivia

[randomnotesofmyown]

Fate/Stay Night - additional comments on selected characters

Tohsaka Rin

Emiya Shirou got to survive the Holy Grail War thanks in a very large to Tohsaka Rin. In the early days of that war, she helped the clueless Shirou understood what was going on and formed an alliance with him.

As I see it, Tohsaka Rin, born into a well established mage household, roughly the equivalent of a noble or an aristocratic family in the real world, was raised under the pressure of living up to what her family name stood, and thus she must excel to show she was worthy of inheriting what her forefathers passed down from one generation to the next. Simply put, her life was largely about responsibilty. And she didn't have the choice to walk away from it because she was the sole successor of what her father left behind.

Because of what happened in Fate/Zero and its aftermath, Tohsaka became an orphan at a very young age. Growing up as an orphan and with that huge responsibilty was not easy without any doubt, her remarks about not seeing herself as a fortunate person in Heaven's was thus actually perfectly justifiable.

And except in UBW, Tohsaka didn't have the chance to find her own future, her own happiness with the person she came to love.

Overall impression of Tohsaka after watching (and rewatching) all three routes: she was a kind-hearted, forgiving and caring character. In Saber route, she was the benevolent facilitator; in UBW, even after Shinji played a part in her abduction and threatened to kill her, Tohsaka was willing to risk her life to rescue Shinji, whom she thought an important person for Sakura, her biological younger sister; and in HF, she genuinely cared for Sakura and wanted her to be happy, even though she was nearly killed by Sakura.

Illyasviel von Einzbern

Grew up with a background similar to that of Tohsaka Rin, Illya was shown in UBW as being overwhelmed by what the people around her expected her to fulfill and got killed in a gruesome manner.

In Heaven's Feel, Illya overheard what Fujimura said about Emiya Kiritsugu going overseas time and again until his body failed him and realized she misunderstood him: her father didn't forsake her, he just didn't get see her again after the end of the fourth Holy Grail War. With this new understanding, Illya became willing to sacrifice herself so her half-brother get to survive. After she performed the Third Magic, destroyed the Greater Grail, and closed the Gate, it seemed that Illya had a happy reunion with her mother, Irisviel (So I assumed). So in a way, Illya had a happy ending.

Emiya Shirou

Just by watching Heaven's Feel the movie alone, I couldn't fully understand what happened to him after he used Archer's arm. So I googled and read the text records of the events in Heaven's Feel. I learned that each time he used Archer's arm, he lost some of his own memories. Near the end of the war, after several uses of Archer's arm, he lost the memory of Kiritsugu's last words, and Archer's Reality Marble, the Unlimited Blade Works, materialized on his body. In order to rescue the person he loved, Shirou paid a very, very heavy personal price.

In all three routes, Shirou got to remain alive because of other persons: Tohsaka, Saber, and Illya. Yet it was in Heaven's Feel that Shirou actually became a hero, not for some abstract ideal, not some strangers who might be killing each other off, but for a particular individual who meant a lot to him: Matou Sakura.

Matou Sakura

Her personal tragedy was determined when her biological father Tohsaka Tokiomi decided to send her away for adoption by the Matous. Until Sakura succumbed to the dark power planted within her, she saw Tohsaka Rin, her biological sister, as her hero.

During the War, Sakura devoured Servants and countless humans, and nearly killed Tohsaka. Though thanks to Illya's actions, she got the chance to see cherry Blossom together with "Shirou", whose body got destroyed as the War concluded and whose soul got transferred onto to a mannequin.

For Sakura, Tohsaka, and "Shirou" in particular, became living reminders of what she once did. The guilt would remain for the rest of her days. That's why I felt some lingering sorrow when I finished watching Spring Song.

Edited Dec 16, 2021

#fate zero #fate stay night #tohsaka rin #emiya shirou #illya von einzbern #matou sakura