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Neil!!!

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within fifteen minutes i have found two different grown adult men who have dating app profiles that say their worst fear is:

werewolves.

one was funny. two is like... hang on, do we actually have a werewolf problem in this town?

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"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

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HAPPY 20TH TO MY FAVORITE SHOW 🥳

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i can’t believe i fell for it

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Hey! I have a digital store now!

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Psycho Super Lover

When you will destroy another?

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danny phantom is such a weird thing to me because looking back it was pretty much just your standard butch hartman fare with cheesy not-always-good writing and dumb puns and a LOT of cliches and a relatively short run-time and kind of an awkward art style?? but it’s all wrapped around this. premise which gets potentially disturbing when you actually stop to think about the ramifications of a boy being LITERALLY half dead and the reason the cartoon sticks in ppls’ minds so much is because of this disturbing potential for horror which the cartoon never actually tapped into. it’s almost like ppl remember the concept of the show more than the show itself and it’s both strange and kinda cool and interesting

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Characters being compared to dogs always use terriers or pitbulls or something for their metaphors. “They grab on and they don’t let go” “They keep worrying at it until it’s dead” etc.

Anyway, I want to see collies used as metaphors. Albert Payson Terhune style. “He was like an attack dog–making slash-and-run attacks, cutting them up worse every time, never staying in range long enough to get hurt but circling back over and over.”

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Imagine if the reason that no one pieces together that Danny Phantom and Danny Fenton are the same person is because Jazz prevents that by using her psychology powers for evil.

And by that I mean she gaslights everyone.

“Oh my gosh, I saw Fenton enter one room, and Phantom exit”? No you didn’t. There was a lot of chaos going on, and you’re probably just confused. It’s okay to be confused and scared, you don’t need to rationalize it by coming up with conspiracies.

“Fenton just shot plasma out of his hand” you were probably just seeing things wrong. He lives with ghost hunter parents, and has ghost weapons. What makes more sense, him being able to shoot ghost rays or having a gun?

“I actually saw phantom change into fenton” ghosts can have multiple forms, can possess people, can create illusions, or shapeshift. Making wild accusations without knowing a lot about ghosts is harmful.

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A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. 

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

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This made me bust out laughing

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I would like all Americans (and everyone else) who are excited for the Superbowl to know: Before the actual Superbowl there's a live tournament on TV, here in Germany, called "American Ice Football".

It is exactly what it sounds like: American Football but played on Ice, in shoes with entirely smooth soles.

It's a tournament with 4 teams and they are called Eastside Ossis, Westside Wessis, Northcoast Naughties and Southside Smoothies and it's just hilariously entertaining.

Here's a video to show you how stupid it looks: