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r3negade-x · 12 hours
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r3negade-x · 12 hours
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Stoned guard: hell yeah, I'll take a hit
Rogue Warlock: here bro (casts eldritch blast)
DM: roll deception
RW: 23
Stoned Guard: aw man what was in that weed?
RW: it's mixed with fentanyl man, don't worry about it (eldritch blast again)
Stoned Guard: duuuuuude that shit's strong man
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r3negade-x · 12 hours
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Contrary to popular belief, there's actually just as many male driders as female ones.
It's just that all the male ones are off fighting green goblins.
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r3negade-x · 12 hours
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Swashbuckler: "I don't like the squishy wood."
Druid: "Yeah, we like our wood hard."
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r3negade-x · 12 hours
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I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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It was a Phylactery but...
DM: It’s a rather difficult book to read. Roll Int.
Cleric: That’s a 14.
DM: You rifle through the pages and a few words catch your eyes. “All litches are attached to a Phylactery-”
Cleric OOC: A phalic area?
Ranger OOC: I also heard phallic area.
DM: It was a Phylactery but she rolled a 14, so she read phallic area.
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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it's your turn
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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Google!!
Yahoo!!
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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I've been spending a lot of time in the timeless void lately. I wonder if I should get some fresh air...
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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What the hell did I miss?
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we are witnessing the funniest time in history
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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"My OCs are so messed up" well, what did you expect? You went and created an off-brand Guilty Gear character and made them live in a world where violence has real consequences. "Well, I'm exploring my traumas through my art" you fucked up a perfectly good cyborg ninja is what you did. Look at her, she's got anxiety.
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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As a matter of fact, yes.
Spell of Hybrid Fertility, a spell that grants fertile reproduction to mules, ligers and other sterile hybrids that further breaks down the boundaries between species. Due to its potential for widespread ecological mayhem, it is a forbidden and highly regulated spell as dictated by Supreme Magical Act 2357 of the Sorcery Spell Ethics Committee.
@wizard-council-bureaucrat care to comment?
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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r3negade-x · 13 hours
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