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Sharing fanfic you wrote is probably the most vulnerable thing that anyone can ever do.

Like I’m not ashamed of writing fic, but the idea of showing it to the world makes me hyperventilate. Fanfic is literally the deepest, most honest, transparent and vulnerable expression of myself. It’s fine when it’s in the community that knows me by the fics, but showing that to people I know irl would be like giving them my diary.

All to say, Phil is quite brave

#I’ve definitely told people I write or read fanfic #but specifics? #even like letting someone know what kind of fic you read #that’s like a 5 years married level of intimacy question

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"rpf is fine" says the most rpf'd man on youtube

#phan #surprisingly nuanced take :D

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💜🏴‍☠️✨ HAPPY FRIDAY, ZADDIES [x] ✨🏴‍☠️💜

#ofmd

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the whole watcher thing has been surprisingly painful for me

#i mean i'm glad it didn't happen a couple years back #when i was much more involved #but it definitely was a very painful moment #especially with me being a patreon from the very beginning #i'm glad they backtracked and apologized #but the damage is done imo

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Lindsey Hilario at Annie's Ibiza F/W 24

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What it feels like to watch a Dan and Phil video in 2024.

#phan

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the good thing about being pregnant and fat is that most people will wonder if your baby bump is actually just your fat belly and will not try to touch it or do the whole "ooh look at your belly" thing

#personal #tw weight mention

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Can I be a demon phannie for a momemt? Remember that video where Phil was about to lock fingers with that body pillow and laughed it off? Now we know that they do like interlocking fingers while holding hands <3

are you insinuating they've held hands before not for demonic sacrifice reasons???

#phan #THE SCANDAL

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so i'm like a tired person in general. i've experienced tiredness, chronic tiredness, depression fatigue, malnourishment, anemia, insomnia, all the good stuff. i know what it is like to be tired and to try to function when you are fully out of battery.

but i have to tell you, the level of tiredness i've experienced during this pregnancy is something absolutely unreal. i'm pretty lucky, i have had a relatively easy pregnancy so far compared to many, but the fatigue is just something incomprehensible.

i feel like if i were to be as tired as i ever have been in my life before i would still have like 3 times the energy i have now. it feels almost on like a molecular level or something. truly, something i have never experienced before. there is no amount of rest that makes it any easier, i can stay in bed literally all day and still feel as tired as i was before.

the human body is a wild thing.

#personal #it'll get better i'm sure #and i know a lot of people have it a lot worse #but this is the first time in my life i'm experiencing such a pronounced physical limitation on what i can achieve

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.

i am enjoying the last 30 minutes of being in my 20s. i always thought that it would feel weird that i'm turning 30, that i would feel much younger than that, but in reality it's the opposite. i'm surprised how am i still not 30, or 40 or 50. i feel so old. these last 2 years have aged me like nothing else.

age is really just a number and i've never really made a big deal out of it, but in this case this birthday is going to mark a very significant change in my life. if everything goes well, in 5-6 months i will be a mom and if feels very symbolic that i'm saying goodbye to this decade and stepping into the next with such a big change.

it feels weird to be so happy and excited about something when there is such an endless storm of pain and suffering everywhere around me. it almost feels like cheating, to be able to focus on the little life inside of me instead of the never ending grief of war. i pray that my child will not have any memory of these horrible times, that by the time they will be old enough to take in the world, it will be a kinder and more peaceful place. i know that's naive, but i don't think i can survive without that hope.

#personal ramblings

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i find myself wondering, would i have as strong of an emotional connection to dnp if i started watching them in this post coming out post hiatus era rather than way back when i started.

i think part of the appeal back then to me was feeling a sense of kinship with them and the community of living in a world that you felt didn't allow you to be who you are, but still being able to find love and kinship and friendship.

for someone who grew up in a regime that considers my identity to be illegal, immoral, punishable there's something incredibly comforting about seeing someone come into a position where they can be themselves and do it on their own terms.

#phan

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literally some of the best content to ever be posted on the internet is the piece of the livestream where the camera does not work

#phan #it is art

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the holding breath moment and their faces at each other might have been the most intimate thing i've ever seen, i felt like i should turn away

#phan #they really are way too fond of each other

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"this goes out to you phil"

the thing that goes out to phil is "power bottom"

#phan #too much information #lol

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oh and also no i do not want dnp to react to the rest of the pinofs i will have flashbacks to the good old phan days

#phan

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below is the most non topical stupid rant but i fully stand behind it

i recently saw one of those videos on tik tok about like "5 things i would never put it my house as an interior designer" and one of the things was a double sink. the guy was like i know people say they need double sinks to separate their meat and their vegetables, but no one actually needs it and it just takes up space

EXCUSE ME? what kind of bullshit opinion is that? people have double sinks not because they're separating meat and vegetables, it's so you can pile dirty dishes in one of the halves and still have a usable sink. it's genius. i just put in an amazing giant double sink into my kitchen and i stand by that decision and this is a hill i'll die on

#tiktok shows me true controversial opinions #don't get me started on interior design tik tok opinions

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if there's anyone here who really wants to but cannot afford a dan and phil cat calendar please message me and i'll try to send you one

#phan #once upon a time #a very lovely mutual of mine sent me a calendar #when i could not afford it #i've tried to pay that back every year #i won't be able to buy many #but definitely can do 1 or 2