purposelessbreather

[purposelessbreather]

gotta have your dose

#française #paris #france #photography #art #french #louvre #tuileries #parisian night

[purposelessbreather]

had been 120 days clean of sh

relapsed

now clean for 2 weeks

it’s part of the process, and it’s not easy

#depression #sh #depressing shit #mental illness #addiction #getting clean #it’s okay #anxiety #mental heath awareness #iss mental illness innit

[purposelessbreather]

update

started med school

fuck the french education system, we’re 1900 ppl in my year 460 will make it into medicine next year

got admitted to the psych ward twice, got stitches

changed treatments and shrinks numerous amounts of times

dude im tired i fail at everything i cant study i cant stay healthy i cant function normally unless im doped up, even then gotta take my anxios or brain go :

- command : delete

#france #paris #depression #anxiety #alcohol #i felt a funeral in my brain #bpd #panic attacks #PASS/LAS #french #sleep #i'm tired #i'm just so tired #addiction #medecine #medication #antipsychotics #antidepressants #anxiolytics #requiem for a dream #psychological #mental illness #failing #failure #i dont get it #university #animated gif #the simpsons #ralph wiggum #delete me

[purposelessbreather]

UM I HOT STITCHES

SPENT 2 DAYS IN A PSYCH WARD

HIGH ON BENZOS

thank you for listening to my rant

[purposelessbreather]

AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE STUFF FIGURED OUT BECAUSE I DONT AND IM SCARED

[purposelessbreather]

HEY umm so i’m thankful for having a roof over my head, clothes, food, all pf that.

BUT

BUT

it doesn’t mean i get to be treated like shit thank you

[purposelessbreather]

i relapsed in some habits i thought i kicked and im FURIOUS at myself

#benzodiazepines #benzo #sh #ed #eating disorder #deression #anxiety #bpd #panic disorder #panicdisorder #panic attacks

[purposelessbreather]

you know when you think you hit some sort of bottom, but it's like a false bottom so you fall. and then some more. yeah. that.

#depression #falling #sinking #anxiety #ed #eatingdisorder #eating disorder #failing #failure #rock bottom #not sexual

[purposelessbreather]

Well, well

Look who's inside again

Went out to look for a reason to hide again

Bo Burnham got too close for a comedy special but i love it

#bo burnham #bo burham inside #inside #inside netflix #depression #anxiety

[purposelessbreather]

got my pills hehehe

#depression #anxiety #lexapro #klonopin #ritalin #fun #chronic #extra fun

[purposelessbreather]

BY THE WAY out of the 5 days I have left as a high school student 2 I will spend at school, both for exams, one a sit-down 4h PHILOSOPHY EXAM (mandatory class) and the other AN ORAL EXAM in front of a JURY I HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY JUST DONT BDZAHBDJEAZDDJKBE

Those aside i had plans of well not being here by this time and so if someone who's struggling is reading if i'm here seeing this shit you have to too you just have to sorry

#bac 2021 #i hate this #i want to cry #sh #depression #anxiety #exams #graduation #class of 2021

[purposelessbreather]

in 1 week's time i'm not a high school student anymore???

like i've been at that school for 9 years it's a part of my identity at this point and in 5 days it's just not gonna be???

#high school #graduating #classof2021 #graduation #lycée #bac #bac 2021 #identity crisis #this is a cry for help #help

[purposelessbreather]

Stigma and all that

Speaking up about mental illness is of course very important to make it a less taboo subject (which it shouldn't be in the first place) but personally all i got was "oh... well did I gotta pick up something at the mall wanna come?"

There's nothing really wrong with this answer it's okay not to know what to say but maybe a little follow up? a text maybe? no apology needed just a simple "how are you doing, is there anything I can do?"

#depression #bpd #anxiety #add #adhd #stigma #mental health #mentalwellness #mental heath awareness #break the stigma #reach out

[purposelessbreather]

i lost 13kgs (28.7 lbs) in 1.5 months and i got a pat on the back from everyone

why how what the fuck

#ed #eating disorder #eatingdisorder #depression #weightloss #wtf

[purposelessbreather]

Movies that if I were able to I'd cry to

Schindler's list

The Pianist

The Pursuit of Happyness

Two Distant Strangers

Monster

Beautiful Boy

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Seven Pounds

Brokeback Mountain

12 years a Slave

Moulin Rouge!

#movies #movie buff #sad #sad movies #cinema #cinematography #cinephile #to watch #movies to watch #addiction #love #freedom #war #the pianist #the pursuit of happiness #schindler's list #monster #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind #inequality #racism #two distant strangers #antisemites

[purposelessbreather]

my parcoursup results are mortifying

#france #parcoursup #medecine #paris #strasbourg #montpellier #PASS #LAS #depression #sad #putain #french #classement #rankings #university #college #stress #anxiety #fuck this

[purposelessbreather]

so i have no future thanks to the pandemic and shitty education system (props to my teachers tho (some) they were awesome) so like if you see me unconscious somewhere leave me be 🥰😘😘

#depression #hahaha #sad #idc #fuck this shit im out #gotta love it #anxiety #fun