psyche-the-ya-protagonist

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

Leigh Bardugo really went it’s not enough that they’re Dante and Virgil, they’re Orpheus and Eurydice as well?!??

#darlington #alex stern #darlingstern #ninth house #hell bent #orpheus and eurydice #dante and virgil

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

Victor and Sydney looked like father and daughter. A crossing of fates. Sydney, the only reason Victor believed he could feel alone.

— the first chapter of Vicious by V. E. Schwab

#victor vale #sydney clarke #vicious #v e schwab #blackout poetry #crying #found family #tears

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

“She’d been told to go somewhere safe. And over the course of the last week, safe had ceased to be a place for Sydney, and had become a person. Specifically, safe had become Victor.”

-Vicious by V.E Schwab

“Once upon a time, Victor had promised Sydney that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her- that he would always hurt them first. He’d broken that promise.”

-Vengeful by V.E Schwab

I’m emotional. How dare you.

#vicious #vengeful #v e schwab #sydney clarke #victor vale #crying #vicious quotes #found family

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

The way I screamed at this part was unholy....

#victor vale #vicious #v e schwab #sydney clarke #vicious quotes #so true

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

Victor Vale believed that Things Could be repaired.

(“Don’t lie to me,” Victor warned.)

He closed his eyes.

It was unpleasant.

—first chapter of vengeful by V. E. Schwab

#victor vale #vengeful #v e schwab #vicious #villains #blackout poetry #vicious quotes #vicious edit

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

It was a stick-figure drawing. Two people holding hands. A thin man in black and a girl, half his height with short hair, and wide eyes. The stick-girl’s head was cocked slightly, and a small red spot marked her arm. Three similar spots, no bigger than periods, dotted the stick-man’s chest. The stick-man’s mouth was nothing more than a faint grim line.

Beneath the drawing ran a single sentence: I made a friend.

- Vicious by V. E. Schwab

#victor vale #sydney clarke #vicious #villains #v e schwab #vicious fanart #vicious quotes

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

There are no good men in this game (1/2)

“Look Sydney, there’s something you need to understand about Victor-” “He’s not a bad man,” she said.

#vicious #villains #victor vale #v e schwab #vicious edit #vicious fanart #vicious quotes #quotes

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

insane quote no one talks about…

#trc #raven cycle #the raven cycle #adam parrish #gansey #quotes #trc quotes #crying

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

I could spend hours thinking of names. The list is endless.

#so true #funny #villains #antiheros #antivillains #tragic backstory #calling me out here

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

I think the thing I love most about Victor Vale is not his ruthless pragmatism, or his flair for being edgy and dramatic— but in those early days, in Lockland University, I honestly can relate to him whenever he saw Eli and Angie together.

Victor’s love for Angie aside, I understand why he’d look away whenever they kiss, or are together, why he wanted Eli’s attention, why he tries to covet them seperately— he wanted Eli or Angie but not together. Because if they are together, they don’t spare even a second of attention at him. When they are together it is the most alone that he ever felt.

It’s not so much that he is jealous of their love. He’s jealous of their easy relationship / interaction.

Friendship-jealousy. Fear of being the third wheel. A fear of being forgotten. A fear of being left adrift.

Everyone wants a place in the world, and as much as Victor narrated to us in the books of how he doesn’t care— he cares so so much, but he hides his heart. It isn’t him to be vulnerable. He hates being vulnerable.

His parent’s might have something to do with it. He’s left alone when they go on tours, and Victor doesn’t get any attention from his parents other than the fact that they just want to fix him (and I will argue an entire essay how Victor’s personality is a result of nurture rather than nature, and it his parent’s neglect that played a big factor in creating who Victor is now — and if his dam parents have anyone to blame, it is themselves for failing to practice what they preach).

Victor found two people who understands him. He had Angie. He had Eli. But then, when they both got together, he now has no one. And that is frustrating. It hurts, it hurts so much. It’s not love, it’s nothing as simple as that, but it’s this severance of connection. Being shoved outside of somewhere you thought is finally comfortable, safe, where you can leave all of your facades at the door.

Victor is; as everyone is, desperate for attention. He is desperate to be understood, even if he doesn’t act like it. He wanted his friends, okay. He wanted them to focus on him. He wanted to be seen. Why is it that love ruins everything? Why is it that when you are in love with someone, you forget everyone else?

People who are in love don’t realise how much pain it causes to others when you neglect them. And I felt it from Victor, I felt that pain from him. The feeling of being discarded or tossed aside. Being deemed less important, less of a priority, that he needs to freakin’ fight for some scrap of attention, and damn it, I felt his frustration, his anger and his internalised hurt.

“Victor Vale is not a fucking sidekick.”

You think that it’s the ego talking, and you are half-right. That is his internalised hurt and rage of being shoved to the side. That is him not wanting to ever be neglected again.

That is him trying to give reason to why he is hurting so much, and I hope everyone would understand that it isn’t so simple to sexualise Victor’s feelings as that he wanted to have sex with Eli or Angie. Even without that huge ASEXUAL label on him, I find the fandom’s response to the university arc to be highly dimissive of Victor’s (nonsexualised) feelings.

This is Victor trying to cope (and failing) as many do when their best friend gets together with their other best friend. Once again, it damn hurts.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. *drops mic*

#victor vale #analysis #character analysis #vicious #villains series #v e schwab #university arc #lockland #victor vale analysis #eli ever #eli cardale

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

@tlounetwork​ | The Last of Us week 2023 

day #7: free choice

           -> tlou + art

1. Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan, 1883-1885 | Ilya Repin

2. Judith Beheading Holofernes, 1614-8 | Artemisia Gentileschi

3. Sappho and Erinna in a Garden at Mytilene, 1864 | Simeon Solomon

4. Pieta, 1627 | Daniele Crespi

5. At Eternity’s Gate, 1890 | Vincent Van Gogh 

#tlou edit #art #gifs #tlou gifs #ellie and riley #ellie and joel #joel miller #ellie williams #tlou #the last of us #classical art

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

#ronan: this is my bf he's a stone cold killer with a forest in his bones #the raven cycle #trc #pynch #the dreamers trilogy #mr impossible #call down the hawk #greywarren #adam parrish #lol #funny

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

You can alway count on Kaz for top tier dark humor.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #s&b #shadow & bone #kaz brekker #s&b gif #gif #gifs #SoC #funny #fight scene #s&b 204 #s&b season 2

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

as a follow up to this post: link (prequel here), you are now welcome to the sequel: an analysis of any and every time mint is mentioned in conjunction with gansey in tdt 

the first and second times are in chapter 5 when he and Ronan are up and talking about how Ronan’s dreaming works. 

“Tell me what it’s like.” Gansey stretched to get a mint leaf from his pocket. He put it on his tongue and spoke around it. “Walk me through it. What happens?”

(he doesn’t understand Ronan’s dreaming and right before this they had been talking about the violent night horrors that almost killed Ronan, gansey’s best friend who he loves so fucking much. i feel like i don’t need to explain the way this plays into the whole mint ordeal) 

and then before they decide to go to the barns.

“Gansey considered. He looked to where his keys sat on the desk beside his mint plant. The clock beside it, a repellently ugly vintage number Gansey had found lying by a bin at the dump, said 3:32.” 

the third time is in chapter 18 when noah and him find ronan in the first floor of monmouth

“Inside, the small smells of the building — the rusty fixtures, the wormholed wood, his mint plants — had been overtaken by an unfamiliar odor. Something damp and strangely fertile and unpleasant.”

(note that he apparently has several mint plants in his possession)

the fourth time is in chapter 19 after the whole gang goes to the barns and buries the night horror. 

“With a gentle oath, Gansey jammed the tip of the shovel into the ground and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He stuffed a mint leaf into his mouth. “I have blisters. Nino’s? ””

(they bury a night horror, a terrible monster that attacked ronan and gansey and tried to kill them both. they’re at the barns when they’re not supposed to be. gansey is wound up and strung out, he is not having a good time. and what is his method of dealing with this to not bother anyone else with his feelings? mint leaf)

(it also struck me while i was editing this that gansey knew this entire time that this was the year he died. and then he thought he was going to get killed by a nightmare monster,,, my poor boy)

the fifth time is when the gray man breaks into monmouth in chapter 23

“And it’s you. The sword in my spine. I seem to have lost my wallet somewhere.” The Gray Man let the compromised door fall open. A smell of musty paper and mint rolled around him. Dust motes played over a thousand books; this wasn’t quite what he’d expected. “When you were vacuuming under Calla, did you happen to see anything?”

the sixth through eighth times are blue noting how much and how constantly gansey smells of mint. first when blue goes to monmouth after gansey leaves. (hah, leaves)

“An hour later, Noah let Blue into Monmouth Manufacturing. The sun had made the space vast and musty and lovely. The warm, trapped air was scented with old wood and mint and tenthousand pages about Glendower. Although Gansey had been gone only hours, it suddenly seemed longer, like this was all that was left of him.”

then it continues as noah and blue are spending time together

“One of Gansey’s EpiPens bounced against the interior of the topmost drawer as Blue withdrew a fancy pen. She copied Gansey’s blocky handwriting onto a Nino’s receipt as Noah put on a preppy sweater he’d found balled under the desk. She ate a mint leaf and breathed on Noah’s face.”

“Without any particular discussion, they curled on top of the blanket, each taking one of Gansey’s pillows. It felt illicit and drowsy. Only inches away, Noah blinked sleepily at her. Blue crumpled the edge of the sheet against her nose. It smelled like mint and wheatgrass, which was to say, like Gansey.”

(then she admits she has a crush on him) (also further proves that he smells so much like mint that mint becomes synonymous with him for the people in his life)

the ninth time is in chapter 33 when gansey and adam are at the party for gansey’s mom

“Jesus Christ,” Gansey said tragically, his eyes on the gathering. “Oh well.” He flicked an invisible piece of lint off the shoulder of Adam’s suit and placed a mint leaf on his own tongue. “Good for them to see your face.”

(neither adam nor gansey was comfortable at this party, gansey knows that they’re about to have a difficult ass conversation, and he’s been carrying the weight of everything adam’s sacrifice made him feel alone. He’s been afraid and agonising over losing adam and adam leaving him (and we all know how gansey feels extreme anxiety around the fact that he doesn’t perceive himself to be as important to other people as they are to him). he’s anxious and wound up and strung out and uncomfortable and in a situation where he doesn’t have full control. and he’s also been wearing his richard gansey iii mask all night, something we know he partly developed (or at least the ease with which he uses it) to hide his violent ptsd from people)

the tenth time is in chapter 36 when gansey and adam have their argument about the whole cabeswater debacle

“Gansey turned to him; his breath was all mint leaves and champagne, him and them. He asked, “Why did you go to Cabeswater without me, Adam?””

(very big thing that “him and them” and the distinction between the smells of the people at the party and gansey, two very different things in adams mind. gansey, to adam, is encapsulated by the smell of mint)

the eleventh and twelfth times are in chapter 45 when adam and gansey leave his parents house and his mom gives them gifts

“Next was Mrs. Gansey, peering out the window to verify that her driver was out front before saying, “Dick, I’ve gotten you another mint plant to take back. Don’t forget it. Adam, I picked you up a rubber plant, too. You boys never think about feng shui.”” 

(this is something his family knows about, at least in the peripheral) (could it be something they’ve encouraged? do they know the real reason?) (she knows he already has other mint plants but also knows that he will gladly accept another)

and then

“As the boys were headed out the door, Gansey holding his tiny mint plant and Adam struggling beneath a five-gallon pot of rubber tree, Helen came down dragging a tiny black wheeled suitcase.”

and then the thirteenth time is in the same chapter in the garage

“Just get back, he thought. Get back so you can find out . . . “Look, just flash your lights if something goes wrong,” Gansey said, standing before the open door of his black Suburban. He ordinarily kept it here, but no one really trusted Adam’s new vehicle to make the drive across the state. Gansey rocked the driver’s side door a little. Adam could tell that he wanted nothing more than to ask, Are you all right? or What do you need, Adam? The mint plant, placed on the dash, peered anxiously around Gansey’s shoulder.”

(and as we all know from miss maggie herself, every time an object is closely described, it’s describing a person. and mint is previously said by adam to BE gansey. what does this tell us? well you see, gansey is anxious and the symbolism is turned up to fucking 11. Mint Theory™ truthers rise)

the fourteenth time is in chapter 51 when gansey and blue have their not-kiss

“He leaned toward her — her heart spun again — and pressed his cheek against hers. His lips didn’t touch her skin, but she felt his breath, hot and uneven, on her face. His fingers splayed on either side of her spine. Her lips were so close to his jaw that she felt his hint of stubble at the end of them. It was mint and memories and the past and the future and she felt as if she’d done this before and already she longed to do it again.”

the fifteenth time is in chapter 52 when blue gets home from the great big not-kiss that didn’t mean anything at all whatsoever 

“Her mind took the memory of mint and spun it into a related memory of him, one that Gansey didn’t have yet: the first time she had ever seen him. Not at Nino’s when he asked her out on Adam’s behalf. But that night in the churchyard when all of the spirits of the future dead walked past. One year— that was the longest that any of those spirits had. They would all be dead before the next St. Mark’s Eve.”

(the memory of mint easily turns into one of gansey himself)

then the last and number sixteen is in that same chapter 

“Her mother climbed into Blue’s narrow bed. She jerked at the pillow until Blue allowed her a few inches of it. Then she lay down behind Blue, mother and daughter like spoons in a drawer. Blue closed her eyes again, inhaling the soft clove scent of her mother and the fading mint of Gansey.”

(and once again we see this: gansey is mint to these people)

#Richard gansey #gansey #the mint theory #trc #the raven cycle #meta #analysis #angst #mint

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

i have officially thought too much about this so here is a list of any time mint is mentioned in conjunction with gansey in trb (the post that started this whole thing: link)

Also with commentary on why i think im right about gansey’s mint leaves being a coping mechanism for anxiety and shit. my Mint Theory™ (it’s like the olive theory except not at all but i needed a catchy name)

the first time we encounter the fact of gansey smelling like mint is in the first chapter in the graveyard with blue

“Blue couldn’t stop staring at his mussed hair, the suggestion of staring eyes, the raven on his sweater. His shoulders were soaked, she saw, and the rest of his clothing rain spattered, from a storm that hadn’t happened yet. This close, she could smell something minty that she wasn’t sure was unique to him or unique to spirits.”

the second time is in chapter four when declan comes over with his girlfriend

“Adam stopped just beside Gansey. The area around him smelled strongly of mint from the leaf he chewed absently.”

(it’s reasonable to believe he would be anxious about this (this being declan among other things), and the air around him smells strongly of mint which means he’s probably chewed his way through more than one)

the third, fourth, and fifth times are both in chapter 15 when the boys come in for their reading at fox way

"Sorry that I’m late," said the boy in front, with the square shoulders. The scent of mint rolled in with him, just as it had in the churchyard. "Will it be a problem?" 

and

“Oh no. Not him. All this time she’d been wondering how Gansey might die and it turned out she was going to strangle him. At Nino’s, the blare of the music had drowned out the finer points of his voice and the odor of garlic had overwhelmed the scent of mint.”

and

“She stopped in front of Gansey. This close, she again caught the scent of mint, and that made Blue’s heart trip unsteadily.”

the sixth and seventh times are in chapter 21. first during their helicopter ride while he’s arguing with helen about the plate she was going to give their mother

“Helen was still silent, so Gansey began to think about Blue. Something about her was discomfiting him, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. Taking a mint leaf from his pocket, Gansey put it into his mouth and watched the familiar Henrietta roads snake below them. From the air, the curves looked less perilous than they felt in the Camaro. What was it about Blue? Adam was not suspicious of her, and he was suspicious of everyone. But then again, he was clearly infatuated. That, too, was unfamiliar ground for Gansey.”

(he’s in a situation he’s not used to and not comfortable with, he’s feeling anxious. so what does he do? he takes a mint leaf and chews it.)

and secondly when blue steps into the nightmare tree and has her vision of kissing gansey

“The boy in the Aglionby sweater leaned his forehead against Blue’s. She felt the pressure of his skin against hers, and suddenly she could smell mint.”

the eighth time is in chapter 28 when blue and gansey go to the church together but before they find noah (‘s bones)

““Oh, they do,” Gansey said, and she thought she detected a bit of an edge to his voice. Not anger, really, but irony. He put a mint leaf in his mouth and climbed out of the car.” 

(he’s alone with blue. she detects an edge in his voice. to note is that his response was to her talking badly about the pig and implying he should swap it out for a “classic” that actually works. the pig being something that gansey identifies with so fucking strongly that to him it is everything he wants who he is to be. it obviously makes him uncomfortable to have her say this) (not liking the camaro can so easily be perceived as not liking him and we all know how much he wants people and blue in particular to like him)

the ninth through twelfth (and last) times are in chapter 31 when adam is alone in the big room of monmouth and trying to communicate with recently revealed ghost noah and then declan shows up (might not be as relevant since gansey isn’t the one interacting with the mint but it feels worth mentioning nonetheless)

“Adam smelled the mint plant on Gansey’s desk, but he also smelled Noah — that combination of his deodorant and soap and sweat.”

and 

“Adam jumped at a crash directly beside the desk. It took him a moment to realize that Gansey’s mint plant had been swept to the floor. A single triangle of the clay pot had fractured, and lay beside a dusting of soil.”

and

“With a sigh, Adam climbed to his feet, replacing the mint plant before going to open the door. Declan stood on the threshold in neither his Aglionby uniform nor his internship suit, and he seemed like a different person in his jeans, even if they were impeccably dark and expensive. He looked younger than Adam normally thought of him.”

and lastly

“Adam opened the envelope and slowly read the letter inside. With a sigh, he returned to the desk and picked up the phone that sat beside the now-broken mint pot. He dialed from memory.”

It is also worth mentioning that gansey keeps his mint plant by his desk, the place where he undoubtedly spends the most time while at monmouth

#meta #trc #the raven cycle #analysis #angst #richard gansey #gansey #the mint theory #mint

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

Shadow and Bone 2x05

#shadow & bone #s&b #kaz brekker #whump #gifs #s&b gif #s&b gifs #inej ghafa #kanej #s&b 205 #angst #panic #Kaz flashbacks #jordie rietveld

[psyche-the-ya-protagonist]

personal space is not really lockwood’s thing

#anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george karim #lockwood & co #l & co gifs #l & co #locklyle