portmantaur

[portmantaur]

*mic tapping noises* 🎤👀 is this thing on?

hello friends & strangers !

i don’t know how tumblr works anymore, and to the best of my current knowledge i am NOT back — HOWEVER

i am looking for something that im having a genuinely difficult time acquiring — im looking for academic literature re: childhood development, specifically how neglect affects neurobiology in children, by specifically Black and brown scientists & researchers.

there’s a lot out there on the topic authored by white people, and im not interested right now in particularly demonizing that in any way, but that content is the most abundantly easy to find and consume. i am having a much harder time sifting through this content to find specifically Black and brown voices, especially in ways that contextualizes that information within experience(s).

google is broken, reddit is a trash fire, and as a card-carrying Crazy Person(tm) i am coming to the understanding that modern Twitter is a mental illness. i have no idea where tumblr fits on this arbitrary scale, but im hoping somewhere on the slightly more helpful side.

so!! if anyone has any resources or the capacity of education here, picture me bernie meme-ing begging for ur help. reblogs/replies/dms all accepted & appreciated. hmu if an email or other form of communication would work better for you.

thank u and i love u and i wish feasts for your families & a pox on ur enemies.

#visibility reblog sry for crowding anyone’s dashes

[portmantaur]

*mic tapping noises* 🎤👀 is this thing on?

hello friends & strangers !

i don’t know how tumblr works anymore, and to the best of my current knowledge i am NOT back — HOWEVER

i am looking for something that im having a genuinely difficult time acquiring — im looking for academic literature re: childhood development, specifically how neglect affects neurobiology in children, by specifically Black and brown scientists & researchers.

there’s a lot out there on the topic authored by white people, and im not interested right now in particularly demonizing that in any way, but that content is the most abundantly easy to find and consume. i am having a much harder time sifting through this content to find specifically Black and brown voices, especially in ways that contextualizes that information within experience(s).

google is broken, reddit is a trash fire, and as a card-carrying Crazy Person(tm) i am coming to the understanding that modern Twitter is a mental illness. i have no idea where tumblr fits on this arbitrary scale, but im hoping somewhere on the slightly more helpful side.

so!! if anyone has any resources or the capacity of education here, picture me bernie meme-ing begging for ur help. reblogs/replies/dms all accepted & appreciated. hmu if an email or other form of communication would work better for you.

thank u and i love u and i wish feasts for your families & a pox on ur enemies.

#research #childhood development #childhood neglect #neurobiology #how do tags works on this site again #also if u just wanna school my dumbass on how to do Good Research im up for that too

[portmantaur]

im just so tired and scared. and I just…don’t get it. i don’t get why people are so easily and so profoundly divisive. I’ve been struggling with this thought a lot lately, probably because my social life has been severely limited the past few years like a lot of other peoples’. but I see so much vitriol and infighting in the world im supposed to go back into.

i say this full well knowing i am a clinically crazy person: im so deeply in love with everyone i meet and am so core-wrenchingly heartbroken by them most of the time. and it’s not for anything important. nothing dramatic or even blame-worthy. it’s like - it’s admiring someone and finding them charming and then finding out that they despise you and you have no idea why. it’s not getting @‘d in a group chat no matter who is there or how long you’ve been away. it’s seeing some rando on a dumb social media site call you ugly and feeling exactly like you did in middle school when you knew you’d never be able to do anything to get so and so to stop bullying you. it’s someone finding you annoying and knowing that’s normal and fine but still wondering what it is about you that makes you so much Less.

i know i clutch people too tightly. i know i am and can be pretentious and sanctimonious. i don’t hate myself for those things anymore, which is incredible. but i miss whatever it is other people have that i don’t. not all the time, of course. im with my very best friend 100% of the time and I am so blissfully happy with that. i think it’s possible to be happy and lonely at the same time.

anyway all this is to say - nothing, really. but I think I might metaphorically get on a bus and disappear. whatever this supplementation is or was supposed to be, it isn’t working. and there is love here but maybe not enough. and maybe that’s just me, needing to be liked or needing attention. and maybe that’s ok. but blood from a turnip and all that.

anyway i love you. im glad we exist.

[portmantaur]

this pride month I am wishing everyone a very stop overanalyzing yourself and just have fun with it. have gay sex. don't have any sex. try on a new gender. stop caring about gender at all. talk to your doctor about hormones. go on a date. break up with the person you dont love. whatever it is you have been putting off doing by dithering about it in your head. just do that and fully experience how it feels without trying to put it into words. if you still need a word for it later there will be one. they aren't going anywhere. but people were here before language and there's only so far language can go in giving you a fulfilling human experience. so if you are hiding behind finding the right words for whatever it is your heart wants i hope this month you get the courage to just do it instead.

[portmantaur]

people love to find progressive ways to say we should all be arranged into separate groups and try our hardest to not relate to one another

[portmantaur]

[portmantaur]

where is this ethereal Girl and when will she, in fact, Help

[portmantaur]

IM GONNA THROW UP WHY DID THEY LET JOE BIDEN DO THE FINGER HEART THING IN HIS PHOTO OP WITH BTS

#cursed tumblr lore rearing its ugly head #me being labeled the local nutty old gramps: the legends are true i tell you!!! history repeats!!! tumblr is built on livejournal’s bones!!! #i was there Gandalf etc etc

[portmantaur]

black books is a good show. everyone should try it. little a black books. as a treat.

[portmantaur]

Whenever I get new followers

[portmantaur]

Vivienne Westwood bridal collection 2022 🦋

#living for the glamour shot vibes here

[portmantaur]

For good. (I’m accidentally redrawing my old wicked art. )

#op the shading on these sleeves is so fucking delightful #it’s like…lush? #idk anyway #good art

[portmantaur]

and! the timelapse! welcome to my twisted art process.

#videos #good art

[portmantaur]

I extend my hand like a mob boss and allow you to kiss my ring but when you lean closer you see it's one of those glo-in-the-dark spider rings you win at arcades

[portmantaur]

Shooting stars *:･ﾟ✧

#gif #Celeste my beloved

[portmantaur]

ive been watching bad batch bc my partner has forced me to care about the star wars but also i would lay down my whole life for fictional man clone wrecker

[portmantaur]