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poetry-byyourstruly · 1 year

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to kiss you

I want to kiss you in public

for the world to see

who I give my love to

and who I want to go home to

at the end of the day.

I want to show off my love

and the beautiful human

who chose me to love.

Dancing with your face pressed against

mine,

and it feels like nobody else exists but

us and the world we

create for ourselves.

every moment led me to this one

where I could feel at home

walking around in my underwear and a face free from makeup,

knowing I am loved by your side.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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prepared

Nothing could have prepared me

for the way I would feel

meeting you

after spending all this time

listening to the sound of my own breathing.

But as I return at night to you in

bed,

I’m coming home I

know in all of the ways

I never imagined I would be.

Creating a home from a person

is a delicate task,

but nothing has ever felt easier than this.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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storybook romance

Too much too quickly,

I don’t crave midnight meetups

or boundaries broken before

I even know your favorite color.

But when will I ever ask if

you prefer green or purple

if the chance never presents itself?

Perhaps I’m destined to

remain as I am,

the poster-child for the single life—too

absorbed in the arts to remember

that humans exist outside of the page

she writes on. But some

days I wish I could fall through

my page and into

the arms of someone

waiting for me.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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let go

And suddenly nothing in the world mattered.

My soul craved laughter and freedom

in a way that only the Earth

can provide.

I have yet to find a problem

I cannot solve through writing

underneath the moon

and humming a song

for only the two of us to hear.

Sometimes the best things in

life and uncovered

through secrets

kept between me and the moon.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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a reason to love

I’ve always been the troubled child,

the one whose anxiety prevented

words from leaving my mouth and

from making connections.

My mouth stayed sealed because

then maybe I could give you a reason to love me.

If I didn’t say anything, there would be no reason to hate me.

Like a pretty person at the airport,

I would stay in your mind,

always wondering what kind of thoughts

passed through my brain like clouds

and which thoughts remained like rain puddles on a cloudy day.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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circle of love

what comes around goes around,

but the circle is broken.

I’m still waiting for all of the love that

I’m giving to

come back around to where

I sit so patiently to be wanted.

Even my own mother doesn’t tell me she loves me

after we fight and she goes to bed.

If parental love is conditional,

where does that leave me

when I’m told I’m difficult to love?

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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teenage depression

I will not cry over a boy

I’ve known for a month and a half.

I will not let myself release all of the

emotions I feel,

but I will cry and sob

wondering if anyone actually means the things that they say.

Did he actually mean to call me pretty?

or was there an error in translation?

I will feel myself fall apart as I wonder

if I’ll ever be strong enough to love

after being left without so much as a goodbye too many times to count.

Or if Ill ever fully trust after my cries of “no” weren’t heard

and the only responses I received were

lies.

I can’t even explain the way I feel because

I shouldn’t have to feel this pain

at such a young age.

I want my teenage romance,

but all I have is teenage depression.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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from the pages

childhoods spent reading

about a dystopian world where

all become powerless,

and we said we would save them.

we promised to save the world

if we had the chance,

and now our voices shake and

grow quiet.

The fear fills our bones and cements

our feet into place,

but we will not cease to fight.

It is not our end.

The pages are still turning,

and the pen keeps moving.

We have not reached our final chapter.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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unpaid profession

I’m an actor,

a boy in costume

scouting the life I want

before I can reveal myself.

incognito and on the move,

I deliver my lines without question.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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make my home

i hate to say it,

but my future looks brighter

on my own.

counting the days until I move out,

and I know I can find a home

outside of your walls.

someone else will use my

name and hold my body

when I can’t stay standing.

someone else will be there with me

as the drains leak the pain

from my body,

and I will find a home.

I will make a home for myself

with my own walls.

cutting my hair isn’t meant to cut you

from my life,

but I might have to disappoint you to

be myself.

Someone else will be on my side,

and someone else will care.

Someone else will help me make a

home.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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who am I?

who am I when I’ve been telling myself

lies for all these years?

crafting a story of the person I wish I was,

instead of the person whose body I

stand within,

whose arms I move and lips I touch.

where does my heart belong

when I’ve been misplacing it

all this time?

pink and orange instead

of yellow and blue.

I wish I knew

who I am suppose to be in this little

village where everyone knows my name

besides me.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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I Knew a Girl

I knew a girl who

Always seemed to fit in

Better with the boys

Than the girls.

Who felt more content

Sitting beside a fire

Laughing a the crude jokes

Than getting her nails done

I knew a girl who

Played video games

And longed to join teams with her friends,

But found herself limited

By her parents’ own views.

She wrestled her best friends

Like the brothers she never had,

Never one to turn down

A dare

Or back away from

A challenge.

I knew a girl who

Wondered why she felt

More comfortable around

Gys than girls,

Why she felt like one

Of them

Everytime

They laughed and screamed.

She sometimes wondered

If she had been placed

Iside of the wrong body

When words like “she” and “her”

No longer felt like they

Were connected

To her at all.

They grew distant

From the labels,

Unable to reveal

The secret to anyone else

For fear of hate.

They didn’t know

Who they were,

But they knew

Who they were not.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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all you can

and sometimes the best things in

life are never

meant to happen.

perhaps the love of your

life lives hours away

or years apart,

but there is nothing to be done.

there is nothing to make it easier

but know that you’ve tried all

you can and you are enough,

even when you’ve given all you can.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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impulse

impulse decision to spill

the thoughts that spent so long

hiding in the attic,

tucked behind the spring decorations.

impulse decision that resulted in

acceptance for the first time

in two years.

he said “everyone is unhappy in their body,”

and they uninvited me from

the group chat and the chosen family I had found for myself as I was left

in the driveway a week after spilling

my thoughts to them.

but just this once,

I found the acceptance I craved

within the chaos I live in.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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bruises of yellow and purple on my body,

who said that words never hurt?

I hear them say the words that do

not belong to me

as the nail is pounded deeper into

my skull.

my outfit doesn’t match quite

right today, and

my hair pulls to the ground from the roots.

all I can do now is whisper to myself

and hear the quiet echos.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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in between

sometimes one and

sometimes the other,

and sometimes I am none of the above.

my lips stay sealed as tightly as

my bedroom door locks,

but they open every now and then

to get a feel of the world once again.

small pieces of cloth remind

me of who I am

and strings of color on my wrist

lead the way.

one day it will be easier to know,

but for now I will count my fingers and

be thankful for my few.

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poetry-byyourstruly · 2 years

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her name

Her name finally squeezes its way

from your lips,

and I wish I could say I didn’t want to hear

it from you

because I want to hear my own.

I tell myself I can get over the feelings

I harbor for you until I hear her name

and the jealous comes in waves.

I sleep in my best friend’s sweatshirt

to get your name off of my mind.

I text some guy from some other school

hoping maybe I would fall for him instead of you,

but I still want to know what goes through your mind

when I walk past your locker every day

after school,

even when I know you will never return these rare feelings that I feel.

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