pluresque

[pluresque]

hen's been trying to build up the courage to ask this for, like, weeks. or, more accurately, howie's been trying to talk her into it for weeks. she'd said that sometimes she really regrets letting him be her friend, but it'd be a lie; he's been a rock since day one. even more of one since she came into work with fresh-cut grass still in her jacket collar, irritable and miserable and newly single. you've gotta let your walls down, hen. she can hear his voice in her mind; that at least she regrets. it kind of kills the mood.

but now that it's out of her mouth, hen doesn't regret it; wants nothing more than to pull karen back into bed with her. wants to wake up next to her, and go on another date for breakfast tomorrow morning. ❛ really. ❜ she slides a hand across the sheets, towards karen. ❛ i know i've been a little ... closed off, and i wanna— stop being that way. you deserve that. and i wanna wake you up tomorrow morning. ❜

❛ you’re welcome to stay, if you want. ❜

she's by the bed when hen says it, pulling on her pants. it stops her midway, jeans to her knees, before karen gets a hold of herself and straightens up. she likes hen. actually, she really likes hen. but it hasn't been smooth sailing, necessarily. hen's got walls up that karen doesn't know how to get past yet. they go on dates and they laugh together. they sleep together and then karen...goes home. she doesn't mind it, it's not the worst thing in the world.

hen's never asked her to stay before. karen blinks, looks at her for a long minute, stretched out on the sheets and so goddamn beautiful. she swallows, thick and nervous, and says ❛ really? ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; karen wilson #ic ;; HEN

[pluresque]

out of the corner of his eye, tommy watches evan as he fiddles with the delivery app on his phone; there's really not any pressure, as far as he's concerned. he does trust evan, and they've spent enough time around each other now that he's pretty sure that evan knows what he likes, anyway.

he stifles a laugh as three new notifications from howie and one from christopher come through in the time it takes to look at the screen. ❛ definitely. ❜ another notification comes through as he glances over at evan, and tips his head vaguely towards the screen. ❛ ... i feel like they must think i kidnapped you, or something. ❜

❛ okay, lots of pressure on that, i will not fuck it up, ❜ he goes through carefully, takes out the cilantro that comes as standard, and figures that, because tommy likes spice and buck probably shouldn't have any right now, he has to live vicariously. he doesn't go stupid levels hot, that wouldn't be nice, but enough to give it a healthy kick.

and then all of the toppings that buck likes, because he knows tommy's usually pretty chill about his food. five minutes later he's got it punched in and ordered, and shows tommy the ' it's in the kitchen! ' screen with a smile. ❛ hope you're ready for the best burrito of your life. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

chimney matchmaking hen and karen literally like One Year after her probationary work period from hell, where presumably she and eva also broke up in there ................... now THATS allyship

#ooc;

[pluresque]

he's not in the habit of looking at other people's phones unless he literally has to, for work, but there had been messages coming in, in the time it took just to walk back to the kitchen, so— tommy guesses that the 118 probably has a way of being like that, now, all over each other even when they're not in the same space.

these burritos must really be something else, and evan's enthusiasm has a way of catching; tommy grins, smacks a kiss against the side of evan's head, and reaches for his own glass of water, downing half of it in one go. evan wasn't the only one that hospital air conditioning got to. ❛ i trust you. ❜

❛ no sweat, ❜ painkillers are kind of the priority right now, so buck figures his shit out and swallows two with a hefty amount of water, because he's probably vaguely dehydrated about the whole thing. god he is so sick of having a post-hospital routine, what is wrong with him?

he takes his phone off tommy and winces at the amount of messages on his homescreen. that feels like a lot to deal with, he actually doesn't want to do that right now. ❛ listen whatever you're imagining it's not gonna be close to how these taste. and the chicken is so good, they have to have a secret recipe. ❜ he swipes out of all the notifications for now and opens his burrito ordering app instead, grinning. ❛ you wanna have a look or you trust me to build you your perfect meal? ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

it's like he's said some kind of activation phrase; the way evan perks up at the idea of potatoes in a burrito makes tommy laugh as he pulls out two water glasses and fills them. ❛ it's in my work bag, i didn't want to lay it down somewhere and leave it behind. just a second, i think i left it in the front entrance— ❜

he grabs a bottle out of the cabinet in his kitchen that's got more painkillers and vitamins in it than anything else, and sets it and the water glasses down in front of evan. his place isn't that big; it doesn't take very long to get evan's phone out of his bag. ❛ i've never heard of garlic potatoes in a burrito, before, but count me in. ❜

buck has absolutely not a memory of mentioning a burrito, but the second tommy says it buck wants it so bad. ❛ oh my god i love burritos, ❜ carbs. it's little baby carbs wrapped up in one big carb, what is there not to love? carb family, all for buck. amazing.

❛ there's this one place that lets you put garlic potatoes in the burrito? which, if you ask me, should be standard burrito fair, it is so good. it - do you know where my phone is? i have a loyalty thing on there for it. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

demanding; god, tommy might quit his job and dedicate himself full-time to making sure that evan never has to worry about asking too much of anyone ever again. he's glad he already talked to melton; it means he doesn't have to worry about any of that, right now, is already more or less there, functionally. ❛ i do have a reputation to maintain, ❜ he says, instead of telling evan any of those insane impulses. ❛ i think you mentioned a burrito? ❜

he winds an arm around evan's waist and kisses him on the cheek; snags the sweatshirt that evan hadn't put on before crashing, on their way out to the kitchen. ❛ what's your favourite place to order from? ❜

❛ i'm so allergic to naproxen, ❜ which is something that buck never remembers and something that bobby has never let him forget. it was a whole thing - buck just keeps getting lucky about when or where he has allergic reactions. or throws a blood clot.

slow work gets buck to his feet, and while he's nowhere near as wiped as he was the night before, he's definitely not at a hundred. he's sort of hunched, curled over himself a little bit to keep the pressure off his ribs, which he's sure is a super attractive look. ❛ yeah, ❜ he smiles at tommy, face patchy with crying come-down and everything else. ❛ and i hate to be demanding but i think food would probably be a good idea...i seem to remember something about wooing? ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

tommy smiles, brushes his thumb over a spot just behind evan's ear, and nods. ❛ yeah, i'm not surprised. ❜ if anything, it's a surprise that he's lasted this long before having to ask about it. ❛ you're allergic to naproxen, right? bobby told me. ❜

which had been— a little odd, maybe, getting a run-down from bobby before he'd even asked evan to come and stay with him, on all the things to keep an eye on in the aftermath of this. but only because it hadn't been a professional debriefing at all — more like a family member handing over a list of important information. cautiously, tommy untangles them both, and helps evan to his feet. ❛ ... now can i get you some water? ❜

buck's someone. the thing is that he's started to learn that, started to accept that about himself. let himself see the impact he's had on other people, the good things he's done. and he can be that for tommy, too. he wants to be that for tommy. just maybe not right now. maybe it's...maybe tommy can be his someone right now. that's the learning curve, buck thinks. the part where he's supposed to figure it out for real.

❛ okay, ❜ he pulls back a little bit, rests his forehead on tommy's. doesn't kiss him because he's got gross morning mouth he's sure, but the intention is there, noses brushing. and then he pulls away a little more and says ❛ i do need painkillers, though. everything hurts right now. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

it— okay, it kind of catches tommy a little off-guard, honestly. not because he thought evan wouldn't have any feelings about anything he's gotten through, but it wasn't what he was angling for, exactly. he'd just wanted evan to know that he wasn't as alone as he seemed like he thought he had to be. and maybe there's something to the way evan's managed to stroll in the front door of the life that tommy's built for himself, like tommy had somehow given him a key without even realizing he'd done it, and get it, in a way not many people can.

he breathes out, holds onto evan, and nods, cheek pressed up against evan's ear. ❛ i know i am. ❜ it's true; he trusts evan, feels a kind of settled with him that's still a little new, for tommy. ❛ and i don't want you to stop anything— i'm just saying, you don't have to. it's okay. ❜ he lifts a hand, drags slow fingers through evan's hair. ❛ i have someone, now. ❜

tommy heard him out so buck does the same. he sits it out and thinks about tommy, surrounded by - from what chim had said - a firehouse of guys fighting with each other to be the most macho one there. and buck thinks about how scary it must have been for tommy to know how he felt in the middle of all that, and to know that he couldn't ever be himself without ridicule. the thought makes him feel sick all over again.

it's awkward, and pulls everything, but buck manages to turn in tommy's arms, wrap him up close and just hold on for a while. he's pretty much in tommy's lap but it's - god it fits. it feels right. ❛ i know you wanted me to stop saying it but i'm sorry. that you didn't have anyone when you should've. and thank you for making yourself that for me. ❜ he presses his face into tommy's shoulder, eyes squeezed shut. ❛ you're safe with me, too. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

he listens; doesn't interrupt. patience is something that tommy's learned, not something that always comes naturally to him, but now— he stays where he is, lets evan say his piece. leaves a kiss behind against evan's neck, when he finally lifts his head.

❛ i didn't let anyone in, for a long time. ❜ he doesn't know what howie's told evan about the early days at the 118; tommy's tried to be as honest about it as he can, from his own place in it. ❛ i think i was less worried about being too much than about being ... seen, i guess, but i think it probably led to looking after myself, by myself, about as much as you've done, right? ❜ he pauses, but it's not a question that he's looking to get an answer for; tommy already knows it. ❛ you're not making me do anything, evan. and i'm not expecting you to just jump in the deep end, here, either. it's okay if you're scared. ❜ they're in a line of work that makes them the people that other people see in their most vulnerable moments; being on the other side of that— ❛ but you're safe, here, too. to be whatever you want to be — or need to be. i never want you to feel like you have to be anything less for my sake. ❜

someone should really study what it is that tommy's got that makes him so...calm. practice, probably, buck figures. but it's also just - something. something in the way he breathes and the way he holds himself that's got buck halfway to forgetting about why they're on the floor of the bathroom in the first place.

halfway. it's still...a lot. ❛ this part scares me, ❜ he says, finally. a moment more passes, his eyes closed, before buck says, ❛ i'm always too much. everything about me is too much and i don't want to be - like this. i don't want to make you defend yourself, to prove that you want to be here 'cause that's not fair, but i don't know how to stop being scared that you''ll decide i'm too much, too. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

i feel genuinely unwell thinking about how bi buck has been in the works for so long and was killed by fox and/or reidel, and that oliver stark was just going to intentionally lean into queercoding him through acting choices regardless of what tim and the gang did this season and was like "cool glad we're on the same page" when tim pitched him this arc. what in the hell is going on right now. i've never experienced this in a network television show. gay rights

#ooc; #having a real normal one here

[pluresque]

❛ okay, ❜ tommy echoes, and can practically hear the gears in evan's head slowing down, as he starts to relax a little more. it can be a minute, or an hour, tommy doesn't care; the floor of the bathroom's not the most comfortable place in the world, but he's been in less comfortable places over less important things than this, so he'll stay here as long as evan needs them to.

he stays quiet for a long, long moment, just stays where he is, holding onto evan and breathing as evenly as he can, in the hopes that evan'll match up to it. ❛ it's okay, you know, ❜ he says, eventually, quietly. ❛ i've been there, too. almost literally, right now. ❜

he's too good, tommy's too good and buck doesn't deserve it and - and and and and and. it's always ands. buck is so, so tired and tommy's got his face pressed to buck's neck so god, he's just gonna sit in this for a minute. just for a minute, just to soak it in. he's allowed that, isn't he?

tommy makes him feel like he is. a moment passes and just like that, the tension starts to drain out of buck's shoulders. because it's too much effort. all of it, the thinking and the worrying, it's all too much. ❛ okay, ❜ it's quiet, buck's head tilting to rest against tommy's. ❛ yeah, okay. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

even though he's pretty sure that evan still can't see his face, tommy keeps what he hopes is a solid poker face, in the face of it. because it's not hard to connect the dots — evan's worries about him leaving because of this, insisting he's okay now, and ... well, it's not like tommy relied that heavily on other people, for a long time. he knows a little bit what that kind of thing can look like.

❛ alright, ❜ he says, evenly, ❛ well, either way, you don't need to apologize. ❜ it's not something he's going to drop, exactly— but tommy makes a split-second decision to come at it a different way. tucks his face against the curve of evan's neck, speaks into the delicate skin there. ❛ i'd still like to hang out here for another minute or two, if that's okay by you. we did just wake up, after all. ❜

buck shakes his head kind of instinctively. tommy doesn't need to get him water, he doesn't need to do anything. it's taken half a day and buck's become a mess and a burden, and he doesn't know how to make up for that past just...doing less.

it takes a minute for him to speak, throat and middle aching when he says ❛ i'm okay, ❜ like he can sell that in any way. his head drops a little bit, tired with it, tired with himself. ❛ sorry, it's - i'm okay. ❜

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

it's a good thing he wakes up so fast; tommy's not sure he'd be coordinated enough to follow after evan as quickly as he does if he hadn't spent most of his life leaping out of bed and scrambling into turnout gear. it's not that surprising; as much a part of the job as the injuries and the exhaustion and waking up fast. he keeps a gentle hand on evan's back the whole time, grimaces sympathetically where evan can't see, because it has to hurt.

❛ think i'm gonna take that as a no, actually. ❜ it's not accusatory; he lets evan lean against him, reaches up to push evan's hair back from his forehead. ❛ it's okay, take a breath. i'll get you some water in a minute, alright? ❜

❛ yeah, just uh - ❜ buck pushes himself upright and everything goes terribly. nausea hits him like a truck, and he's not unfamiliar with the reasons why. anaesthetic and painkillers and not having eaten and just...general pain. it's why adrenaline kicks in right behind it and buck lurches out of bed towards the bathroom on pure instinct.

makes it, too, heaves so hard it makes the bruises burn, and nothing comes up because he has nothing to produce. it's like a horrendous cycle of his body trying to expel something that's not there and then getting mad at him for not getting anything up and then doing it again. by the time he gets himself to stop, there are tears tracked down his cheeks, and he falls back into tommy almost on instinct, shaking his head. this is the shit that fucks it up. he knows that so well it almost hurts.

this is the ugly part no one ever wants.

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY #emetophobia tw

[pluresque]

[stumbling out of a research black hole] i come bearing more tommy backstory:

not born in LA but kind of an on-a-technicality angeleno — his mom moved to the city after his parents' divorce and he spent as much time there with her as he was legally allowed to per the terms of the custody battle. i think he was probably born in, like, colorado or something, but i don't think he really feels any connection to anywhere other than LA.

i still don't think he'd describe either of his parents as abusive but i do think they used him as fodder against each other in their divorce and ensuing custody battle and i think an objective observer (me) would say that there was probably emotional and psychological abuse going on, and definitely manipulation on both sides.

wound up at a "juvenile rehabilitation camp" (lol. lmao even.) at 14 after a couple of misdemeanour-level offenses (probably largely, like, petty theft and maybe a fight or two). knowing the 911 universe athena probably was involved lmfao, but i'm not married to that. i personally think it was camp kilpatrick and that's where he got involved in sports; transferred to a new school after he got out and kept up the sports. the only real upside is that it kept him in california so things stabilized like 2% more for a little bit. probably stopped talking to his dad altogether around this time, as much as he was able to as a minor, but i think his mom was still a presence in his life and probably not a great influence.

everything else is more or less the same, enlisted at 17 to get the hell out, definitely served during dadt so that sucked as a way to find out he was attracted to men, made a couple of lifelong-but-not-very-close friends (one of them is probably his emergency contact), joined up with the lafd after that, very used to keeping his head down and his mouth shut which more or less persisted in some form or another until he transferred to the 217, but i think by the time the transfer happened he was a Little bit less clammed up about some stuff, at least with chimney and hen. i think eli probably Perceived some things, just based on what we know about eli and his Perception, but i do not think tommy was open to being Perceived at the time.

i really do not think he trusted bobby at all in the early days, despite bobby's Dad Energy and general good intentions, but i do think he liked him from day one.

despite all of this he's honestly and genuinely pretty chilled out and easygoing, as a person. definitely think he did a lot of therapy and work on himself!!!!!

#ooc; #hc ;; TOMMY #almost none of this is really my original thought btw it's lou's world i am just living in it. blorbo from his job

[pluresque]

what feels like five minutes later, some kind of half-awareness filters into tommy's brain. he doesn't even think he dreamed, although he's not really conscious enough to make the final call on that; it's mostly years and years of having to be awake and ready to act that've gotten through to him, and even then—

❛ mmn. ❜ it's the best he can do, until he actually processes evan's words; tommy buries his face in the pillow to stifle another yawn, wants to bury his face in evan's hair and pass out again right this second, but those years and years of action-ready work are already doing their job, and he knows it'll be a while before he's actually going to get back to sleep. ❛ yeah, ❜ he mumbles, reaches for his phone and squints at the time, lit up on its screen— a few hours isn't too bad, in the scheme of things. awake, now, he still doesn't move. ❛ everything okay? ❜

buck always sleeps hard after hospitals, which is probably true of everyone he imagines. doesn't mean it's any less disorientating to wake up where he didn't expect to, blinking at a wall that's not quite familiar yet. for a little while he just lies there, figuring it out. eventually, it's the arm around his waist that does it. because as much as everything else feels unfamiliar, buck's started to understand exactly what tommy's presence feels like.

which means part of him doesn't want to move, doesn't even want to risk it. and the rest of him, that's a little bit more aware, knows that if he doesn't get some regular painkillers fairly soon, things are gonna start looking bad for him. it's just that he doesn't know where those painkillers are, or where his phone is, or...anything, really. he's gentle when he puts a hand on tommy's arm, achingly quiet when he says ❛ you awake? ❜ because he has no idea what time it is, even.

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

in the end, it takes about seven; melton's not thrilled about being a man down— but it's not like tommy takes a lot of time off, and there must be something in his voice when he's explaining what went down, because melton gets a tone in his voice that tommy's heard before, just never directed at him. maybe it's the exhaustion that's hit him halfway through the conversation.

keep me posted, says melton, don't forget how to fly, and hangs up on him before tommy can come up with anything for that. which works out nicely, because about ten seconds later he's taken by a yawn so wide his jaw aches, and it sends him beelining back to the bedroom, fully expecting to see evan waiting for him—

the sight stops him in his tracks, for a moment. despite all the bruises, the way they got here, evan never doesn't make tommy's heart feel like it's doing somersaults, asleep like this. he smiles, briefly, makes a detour to pry open one irritatingly creaky closet door so he can get the extra quilt he almost never uses, and brings it with him when he settles down behind evan, on top of the covers. tommy drags the quilt over the both of them, turns off every alarm on his phone, slides his arm across evan's waist— and is out before he knows it.

buck means to say some kind of something, but then they're moving again and he figures actually it probably doesn't matter that much. suddenly, logistically, buck's got a thousand things to coordinate. tommy helps - of course he helps - but buck's feet feel clumsy, so there's a hundred times more concentration layered into this than there really should be. he takes a partway shaky breath in, lets it out again, and tries not to overthink it.

he can get dressed, though. that's something buck can do, as he settles into sitting on the edge of tommy's bed, trackpants in hand. ❛ take ten, ❜ which is meant to be a joke but just sort of comes out distracted as buck works on threading his foot through the leg of the pants. a glance up shows him tommy's gone, which gives buck full reign of working himself into the pants. and he does contemplate the sweatshirt, but what ends up happening is that buck practically crawls up the bed, curls up on his side with his head mostly on the pillow, and falls asleep immediately.

#moltolavoro #ch; evan buckley #ic ;; TOMMY

[pluresque]

gang the worst part of this deadpool and wolverine movie hoopla is that i'm thinking about logan again.

#ooc;