perfectlyimperfect0928

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

I’m having one of those days, where nothing makes me happy and I feel like I have no one to turn to. Everyone has their own life, why would I expect someone to stop and care about why I feel so sad. I won’t ask that of any of my loved ones. I’ll just suffer silently and write about my thoughts in hopes that it helps me out of this funk. Yeah, one of those days where I feel like crying but the tears won’t fall. I’m just tired. Being mentally and emotionally tired will always be more straining on a person than any physical pain can cause. It’s a pain that won’t go away and even if it does, it’s only short lived. It’ll be back. No matter how much water I drink, how much I eat, how much I sleep. I can’t get the feeling of this dark cloud following me around. I don’t want anything too fancy, I just want the pain to stop. That’s all I ask.

#writing #love #journal #notebooks #depressed #i want to cry

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

I am no longer going to feed my mind with fake thoughts on love and how it should be. It seems like I don't know how to love properly. I mean hey, if I can't love myself fully and at the amount that I should then how could I properly love another? ....

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

I decided to stop dating men and focus on me. I haven’t had very much luck with the men I’ve chosen and that’s okay. I have to realize 25 is very much still young and I have all my life to fall in love. I figure that if I stop dating and put all my energy into my own happiness then what is for me will find me. I’ll better myself so that when I am open to dating, the man that’s best for me will come along and adore me for everything I add to his life. Until then. I’m chilling with my feet kicked up. I’m good.

#writing #love #journal #self love #notebooks #bullet journal #focused #i love me

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

I’ve given up and it’s crazy bc I never wanted to be this way. The world has shown me, it’s time to give up. Give up on good people, give up on true love. All that. It’s surprising that me, the hopeless romantic, is saying I’m done, but you win world. You finally win. ✌🏽

#no love #writing #innermost #thoughts #given up

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

Most people are gonna say “if I could do it again, I’d do it in the same skin I’m in.” NO! Absolutely not. Yes, my experiences made me who I am today but that could me a good and a bad thing. Who’s to know if I didn’t allow certain situations to go on, where I’d be in life. So no, knowing what I know now about life, I would definitely moved different given the opportunity to “go back in time”. Time is literally the only thing you can’t get back (besides your life which it kinda goes hand in hand), I would definitely make better educated decisions, I would have thought with my head more and not my heart. And with some ppl it wouldn’t even have been a hi and bye. I would have just walked right pass them. But I want this feeling of “what if” to be short lived bc we can’t turn back the hands of time, so my goal is to live in the now and make better choices for myself and do what’s best for ME. 🤗

#way back when #writing #realization #smiles #positive #notebooks #journal

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

It’s me. I can admit when I’m wrong. I’m far from perfect and there are times where I can say “yes I was the problem”. I never wanna be the victim or play victim so I had to come to the realization that not every situation was done TO me. I had a role in why certain things fell apart for me. Now I won’t take the weight of my failed relationships or friendship solely by myself but I am woman enough to admit that I’m hard to deal with. I’m spoiled and I want things my way. But I’m an adult and I understand that the world doesn’t revolve around me and life will go on. I can list all the flaws I have bc I know that I have them but the one thing no one can ever say is that I ever came to them with ill intentions. Going into a situation my heart was always pure. I wasn’t looking for the next come up or finesse. I was hurt but I allowed that to go on. A person can only do what you allow them to do and I fell in love with potential, what we could’ve been, what I wanted us to be but never what we actually were bc had I paid attention to those red flags. Some people wouldn’t have even been allowed in my space. Accountability is the word. But like I said before. It’s me. ☺️

#writing #selfawareness #accountability #love #focused #realization #i will admit

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

(Credit: @positivelypresent)

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

Black men we love you. We love your ambition, your creativity, you primal instinct to protect and provide. We love your waves, your dreads, your afro, your braids, your fade. We love your nose, your full juicy lips, your swag, your ability to dominate a room full of nay sayers. We love how you make love, how you fuck, how you kiss and lick and touch. We love everything about you. We will forever stand at the front lines for you. But the question is would you do the same? As a black man to a black woman do you love us? Do you see us as a prize or do you think of us as bitter, angry black women. Do you see the pain that we also go through? Do you not get that the same trials and tribulations that you go through, WE go through. WE’RE STANDING RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. We love you but do you love us? Signed, a black woman.

#writing #blm2021 #blacklove #love #questions

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

Writing makes me happy. I need to get back to writing because let’s think about it. Most people are lucky to come across a person or people who genuinely care about your well being, care that you’re sad or depressed and they wanna see you strive but let’s face it, overall as a whole the world doesn’t give a 💩 about you. That’s where writing comes into play. Even if no ones reads it. Even if no one sees it. I still use writing as a way to get out all the negativity I have brewing in my head and life on a daily basis. Writing is therapeutic. Cheers to getting back to ME. 🥰

#notebooks #journal #depressed #anxiety #love #writing #smiles #focusonthegood

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

“No one cares. It’s a harsh reality but no one cares that you’re going through shit. No one is going to stop the world because you’re crying. But I am going to ask you what you want to do about it. You wanna sit and cry about it or you gon get off yo ass and make shit happen for yourself?” I’ll do both. I got this!

#writing #journal

[perfectlyimperfect0928]

What is a person to do when being a good person hurts too much? When it is easier to just be an asshole because the person you truly are, is never appreciated. And the craziest part of being a good person is just because you are good to the world does not mean that the world will be good to you, such a big horse pill to swallow right? What does one even tell a child growing up in the world? “Be a good person but just expect to be used, abused, lied to and unappreciated. Oh but continue to be a good person, don’t let the world change you.” Like what?! How is it fair for the world to beat you down then expect you to get up everyday and smile like you feel no pain when you had no ill intentions toward the world at all?