I don't want to be an option. I want to be a choice.
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The cycle of despair and hope
We had a fight last Sunday.
I spent the night in despair, covered in shrapnel like tears.
Came the week, where I engrossed myself in work and hope in the day - hope that it will be all fine by weekend.
The nights would be a bit vulnerable, slipping into despair stealthily.
Here came the weekend, I woke up with the hope. Nothing changed, and the despair continues.
After some self talk, we are sticking with hope for the night. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Does anyone knows where it ends?
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Anxiety is my friend.
That friend, whom probably no one wanted in the first place.
But who ends up being there with you, every time, every single time you are alone.
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Time never heals anything completely.
The pain and the wound go away, all that is left is a scar.
And a broken bone, that still aches on rainy days.
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Broke, again.
No, the heart was broken years ago.
Today, the dream was broken.
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Infinitely fascinating
Engineering in action | source
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Disappointment, I am
You can disappoint yourself and still live
But knowing that you are disappointing others, is the most killing feeling.
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Finally making some time for this. alassë https://www.instagram.com/p/CSB46zWn3DKAFktlKdhoI40Reh2vMXu_JLbo5g0/?utm_medium=tumblr
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Everything denied, everything condemnable
Few things allowed, few things admirable.
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We only treat something worshipped, sacred, sought for, until it is not accessible.
Once it comes in abundance, we exploit, abuse and take it for granted.
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Well, you know I am waiting here
I am waiting right here near the shore, just at enough distance so that I can watch you, and save you from drowning, in case a big wave heads up.
But also, at an enough distance to say good bye, when you board a big ship, become a sailor, maybe..
I am there for you..
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Do not pity on our love story.
Because, actually, it is my love story, and I am proud of it.
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I wonder, sometimes, what shall we have with us in the end. The journey feels terrible, but maybe you will be in a better place.
You will have her sweet memories.
I will have my unrequited love.
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Unexpressable.
Sometimes words are not enough to express my feelings
I have to scream and cry and burn and swell my eyes
We are primal, and its normal.
My only concern is, has anyone found way to harness this energy, because the amount I radiate - can light up a city.
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Chilled heart ❄️
I've frozen it, my heart
Every now and then - it swirls with such warm vibes and emotions, hurricane enough to melt me completely
And so - i froze it.
And now, I'm holding my breath too
I am afraid, if I take a deep breath
This crystal-icicle-aesthetic-but-hurting heart of mine
Will shatter into pieces.
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Blank Page
I stare at the blank page
I stare at it for a long time
Thinking of all the stuffs, sketches, thoughts I could fill it with
I stare at it for a long time
And then with my horrified fingers,
I shut the page away.
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