Tumgik
penseesprofondes1 · 7 months
Text
It’s crazy when I feel the way I do but in a sense I know it’s right for me right now I know that I can no longer feel the way I do right now I have to say something I have to break away and if it’s real it’ll find its way back. I just know I’m not gonna be played for a fool. I know if I stay longer and entertain it my feelings will be hurt and I can’t afford another feeling like that. I can’t afford to have another part of my heart to feel like it's breaking anymore. I’m tired of feeling anxious. I know I’m enough and have a beautiful soul.
1 note · View note
penseesprofondes1 · 8 months
Text
Tired of ever feeling like I just wasted my breath
1 note · View note
penseesprofondes1 · 8 months
Text
Better alone no longer putting my walls down for the undeserving
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 8 months
Text
Never in life expressing my feelings again… I keep getting them shitted on with bullshit excuses
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 9 months
Text
I hate having a feeling that something is wrong. I hate how my mind over analyzes everything I feel myself giving too much and it tears me up inside. Mentally I’m done giving me all I need to do others how they treat me like I’m nothing like I’m an option like I don’t matter. Because I know in my heart I’m a great person that I have a big heart and deserve nothing but greatness. I hate how sad I get when I over invest myself in peoples lives. I shouldn’t feel a need to cry when I feel so deeply. I need to let go
1 note · View note
penseesprofondes1 · 10 months
Text
By this time I’m used to it I’m used to being disappointed by people. I’ve been disappointed my whole life… by family, friends, lovers, everyone. Some days I truly want to float away and not exist I genuinely think I’m here to heal others and meant for no one. I put myself in these situations where I feel too much and get disappointed in the long run. I need to stop seeing people for what good they possibly have and see them for what they really are not everyone is genuine and I need to stop thinking they are I feel too much I hurt too much and hurt worse when I think they would never do me like that. Everyday it just gets worse the more I feel, I want to feel nothing, I just wish I couldn’t feel.
1 note · View note
penseesprofondes1 · 10 months
Text
Some days I don’t even know why I try… every day I can feel myself sinking back into my self sufficient ways. People can claim they care and in all actuality they don’t. I always feel a vibe shift I always know when someone is not genuine with me. I feel alone every single day, my mind is my worst enemy. I never know when someone is being one hundred percent with me I typically want to cry every time I feel that way because it takes a lot for me to even express myself genuinely where I feel like anyone is listening or even cares. I sometimes feel like my family doesn’t even care I don’t even know why I take the time I sometimes want to be gone. I get so so tired mentally and emotionally that I feel like no one gets me that when I actually express my true self that I’m no longer accepted. That’s why I close myself off, I try not to show emotion but I carry my heart on my sleeve I’m a person with walking emotions but no one sees the true me no one understands the true me. I really want to be loved but no one loves as hard as I do no one understands how hard it is to always be there for others but no one is truly genuine with you. I cry as I type this because I feel too much sometimes I don’t want to feel at all I want to be numb. I hate how I have to shut off how I feel when I feel it isn’t reciprocated. I’m a hurting soul that just needs actual love for once, I always see people for who they are but try to look past it I try to see people for their inner self their true self, that maybe just maybe there is someone with a heart as big as mine out there. I’m tired of never being taken seriously. Maybe in a way it’s God saying I will never find love and I’m meant to be a healer of others to find theirs. But all in all I’m an over-thinker I think too much, I feel too much, I over analyze too much, I love too hard. I love hard to people who aren’t deserving. Maybe I’m just meant to be alone.
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Deep down I want to cry my eyes out because everytime I share my emotions I’m done dirty asf but at the end of the day I’m a boss and don’t need a soul I’d rather be alone
3 notes · View notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
The fact I have no one to vent to rn kills me
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Sometimes I truly don’t get it I really really don’t I’m the most pure hearted person and always try and give it my all with nothing but pure intentions… but at the end of the day I have to realize it’s not my fault that I have a big heart and see the good in everyone I have to realize not everyone has the same pure intentions I do I have to realize at the end of day people that say they care or even love you will fuck you over at the end of the day. I really can’t believe what a person can do to me because at the end of the day I would NEVER do someone like that. How can a person preach about loyalty and be full of shit like how? I really just want to crawl under a rock and reevaluate my life. I just want to cry away how I’m feeling right now. I know my feelings are valid because like why? My stomach hurts my heart hurts I hate how I catch feelings and I feel so deeply… I wish I couldn’t feel at all sometimes. Like my chest genuinely hurts why after all we talked about after how I was done and you turn around and do the same thing. I want to throw up like I’m genuinely hurt. I could feel the shift on how you were acting but I thought maybe it’s something I did and the whole time it was you losing interest because you’re chasing after other people. If you don’t want me say that! If you want to not talk say that! I just want to cry my eyes out all night. How could I be so stupid how could I think for once someone could be different. I open myself up again and get played, I should’ve just stayed closed off. No one I mean no one deserves my sunshine at ALL. I’m tired of people playing with my emotions and feelings like they aren’t valid or anything. Like my feelings mean something… I just want to be left alone. If it’s not pure LEAVE ME TF ALONE. Not commenting under another bitches birthday picture. I’m not even jealous it’s just the principle and I hate how I could be so dumb.
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Today I realize maybe I’m the problem.. maybe I feel too hard maybe my emotions get the best of me. I hate when I feel like I’m a burden to people. Maybe I’m meant to be alone maybe I’m meant to just be happy for others every time I feel myself getting close to someone they prove me right and their emotion towards me starts to shift and every time it hurts more and more. I’m starting to think I’m better off just being alone having no one. My heart and love I give is not for anyone. I overthink, I’m dramatic and carry my emotions on my sleeve unfortunately. When I’m alone and worry about no one I notice I’m better off. I hate feeling like I waste my time getting to know anyone because they always seem to let me down in the end. I like people who are upfront with me instead of trying to protect my feelings I can take it. But I guess I’m never enough for them to even do that instead they just act wishy washy towards me and that hurts me worse than anything. I’m tired of feeling like people are pulling away how do you love me but act weird or different towards me? I’m so tired of the bullshit I just want to be loved properly and everything in me wants to cut people off in the slightest inconvenience
1 note · View note
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Not gonna let people phase me on how they act imma stay the same me
6 notes · View notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Sometimes I hate when I overthink I hate when I feel like some shit be changing when I share how I’m feeling I always feel like my feelings about to be hurt… and the person can be as genuine as can be but in my overthinking ass mind I feel like everyone a liar or acting funny after a while. Why am I like this why do I do this to myself it makes me wanna cry when I do this to myself. Whole time it be over nothing. I need to stop acting like this just be pushing people away that way. I need to be better not everyone is out there to hurt me.
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Sometimes I’d rather disappear instead of overthink.
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
I can not stress this enough I’m an overthinker so when you do shady shit I be ready to disappear
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
Sometimes I feel like I bring depression on myself what the fuck is wrong with me!? Life can be going good and I ruin it with my intrusive thoughts! Honestly life has been good but at the same time it hasn’t the same medical issues that put me in these moods came back and I save face every time never truly talk about it. I lie and say everything is alright but in all actuality I’m scared…
0 notes
penseesprofondes1 · 1 year
Text
6 months later I guess and today I feel like everything someone did got to me… even my boyfriend and I didn’t mean to react how I did but he’s the only one I talk to. His mood threw me off but I tried everything in my power to make him feel better and nothing worked so when he didn’t really want to talk I got upset and kind of lashed out through a post and didn’t mean to… tomorrow I’m gonna try my best to communicate how I was feeling because I don’t do that great at it. Is it too soon to love a person? I like have love for him because he gets me you know well at least I think he does, well I know he does. I need to stop stepping in my own way to happiness though in how I react sometimes. He really makes me happy and I don’t want to ruin it by being in my own head. He’s the one guy who genuinely has shown an interest in me for me not just sexually. I hate how I put myself in a mood that has me overthink everything. I just hate being an over-thinker so damn much and having my feelings on my sleeve. My overthinking is always my downfall and leads me to be depressed. I truly hate it some days.
0 notes