pcachlovc

[pcachlovc]

OK THAT’S IT if you didn’t get followed and you wanted to get followed (or maybe i just missed you) hmu <3 I’ll still be h e r e for a little bit, since I may finish up my last starter call on this blog before I move!! 

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #((ik i owe like 3 x.l things))

[pcachlovc]

o k a y i’ve sent the guy my timecard, i’m not going to do my hw till 6 pm at l e a s t and my food is microwaving. i’m gonna hOP ON TO THE NEW BLOG AND FOLLOWING PEOPLE

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are .

[pcachlovc]

not-knowing-anything-for-this-exam life is writing horizontally on the singular 3x5 notecard you’re allowed and then layering vertical writing on top of that

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #((i want this to end i've had a test a week for like a month and a half now)) #((I'M SO BUSY ALL THE TIME I COULD CRY)) #((fjdsk;aljf;ldsf)) #((me :handshake: n.ie h.uaisang)) #((can i just live the rest of my life doing art and knowing nothing)) #((that'd be great))

[pcachlovc]

so as you might have heard,,,already,,,ro’s gonna shed this blog like snakeskin at some point in the near future (probably in a couple days cause I gotta get some irl stuff sorted before I can do it hhhhh).

for Reasons ™ i’m not gonna like, promo here, but I will be following everyone back on the new blog when it’s ready to be shown to the world (so if you see a suspicious url w/ peach in the name…u know it’s me…)

I will be transferring all threads (unless there’re  any y o u want to drop) / asks that I feel like answering to the new blog. That’s all, thanks! 

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #i. » blog psa : give me a second . I need to get my story straight . #((after i test and go to lab and punch in my timecard tomorrow)) #((i'll b doing the following)) #((fjdslk;afjKL;JFDKSLJAFLDSJ;FL))

[pcachlovc]

friends to lovers things that are the reason i would die for the trope

getting secretly jealous when one of them brings someone home or goes on a date(maybe not so secretly 👀)

saying i love you platonically until one of them realizes that they're actually in love and then it becomes Weird

no one being surprised when they finally get together(bonus points if there was a bet)

constantly getting asked if they're dating and one of them always furiously denies it as the other furiously blushes

cuddles that blur the lines between friends and lovers aka them making it awkward™

knowing almost everything about the other like how one of them once had a hamster without a leg that they overfed and cried about for a week straight

if one of them fakes needing a fake date because they're hopelessly in love with the other and reads too much fanfic 👀

not wanting to tell the other because they're afraid that they'll lose them and being friends is better than nothing

getting into arguments when one of them gets a girlfriend/boyfriend because one of them thinks that the other doesn't love them but the one with the gf/bf is just trying to move on bc they also think that the other doesn't love them

when they've already met the parents as a friend but now that they're lovers they're a nervous mess all over again

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #((hnnnnnn)) #((i love these))

[pcachlovc]

so as you might have heard,,,already,,,ro’s gonna shed this blog like snakeskin at some point in the near future (probably in a couple days cause I gotta get some irl stuff sorted before I can do it hhhhh).

for Reasons (tm) i’m not gonna like, promo here, but I will be following everyone back on the new blog when it’s ready to be shown to the world (so if you see a suspicious url w/ peach in the name...u know it’s me...)

I will be transferring all threads (unless there’re  any y o u want to drop) / asks that I feel like answering to the new blog. That’s all, thanks! 

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #((i'm only the tag drops away from being done)) #((w/ the blog)) #((bc i didn't actually fuck w/ the muse page : ''' D)) #(and then i'll probably arch this blog and park the url) #((bc i like the url fjdsklafjs;dlf))

[pcachlovc]

dreams-of-fate​ // DONGHUA :

        “We made this kid somehow.” A cheekiness in his voice that soon got replaced with a tender smile for his wife. How Xiao Bai managed to raise this child on her own for all those years in the mortal realm, Donghua still couldn’t imagine. “We’re going to be out there all night until it’s his bedtime if that’s how long you plan for us to wait.” Gun Gun might try to stay up to get in some time with his mother before bed, but Donghua knew the garlic sprout needed sleep.

Gun Gun liked his sleep, and he needed it to get taller - their little garlic sprout was still so small, after all, despite his deceptively solemn appearance.  “ - What have we said about having FAITH in your wife?” She pokes his shoulder, closest to her, and then decides that for good measure she might as well reach up to poke his face too. Still - she picks up the stack of scrolls she still has left a second later and considers them - “Mmm, though maybe you’re right and I should leave the rest of these for tomorrow. We can go pick him up together.” 

#dreams of fate #ii. » bai feng jiu : she captured a feeling . the sky with no ceiling . the sunset inside a frame . #i. » interactions : now I'm causing a scene thinking you need a reason to smile . #dreams of fate » feat. donghua dijun #((eternal sob over the cutest lil garlic sproud baby)) #((fdjsak;fjKLFJDSKFADF)

[pcachlovc]

some angst idk y’all i like crying

“  i don’t want you here.  just go.  ” 

“  you ‘didn’t mean to hurt me?’  yeah you did.  like it or not,  i know exactly who you are.  ” 

“  why won’t you even look at me?  ”

“  i’m not angry at you.  i’m angry with myself for trusting you.  ”

“  i wish you’d stop trying to destroy yourself in some misguided effort to feel worthy.  ”

“  i know it’s not fair to say this,  but i don’t have anything without you.  if i don’t have you i have nothing.  ”

“  you can’t love me.  not the way i need to be loved.  ”

“  i’m broken.  and i don’t need anyone to try to feed me white lies about it.  something inside me is broken and it isn’t just going to be put back like it was.  ” 

“  sometimes being broken isn’t about trying to put things back together like they were before.  it’s about picking up what pieces are left and building something new.  ”

“  okay,  so you’re a monster.  so am i.  lets be monsters together.  ” 

“  because of what they/you did i’m damaged.  ”  

“  what the hell is wrong with you?  ”

“  what the hell is wrong with me?  ”

“  i can’t fix you.  you can’t expect me to know how to fix you.  ” 

“  yeah,  i’ll be here.  i’ll be here when you’re ready to stop running.  ”

“  my world is just falling apart.  it’s like everything is just crumbling around me.  i don’t know what to do.  i just want it to stop ”  

“  you’re the only thing that makes sense right now.  everything else is just—  the world is so loud.  and the only time it feels quiet is when you’re here.  ”

“  i don’t know how to talk about shit okay?  it’s too hard.  but i do care.  i need you to trust me that i care.  ”

 “  stop punishing yourself.  you wanna make up for what you’ve done?  get off your ass and do something about it.  ”

“  whatever it is you think was going on between us,  you’re wrong.  ”

“  it didn’t mean anything to me.  ” 

“  you should move on.  i did.  ”  

“  i feel like i’m one bad day away from becoming everything i’ve fought against.  ” 

“  stop pushing me away.  i’m not going anywhere,  asshole.  and as soon as you get that through that thick skull of yours,  the better.  ”  

“  i don’t need you in my life.  i don’t want you in it.  ”  

“  i can’t trust myself.  if i let myself get comfortable enough,  when i try to be happy,  people get hurt.  ”  

“  people like me don’t get to have peace.  ”  

“  i’m not the person you want.  i know you think i am.  but it won’t take long for you to realize this is a mistake.  ”  

“  you want the truth?  the truth is when i love people it burns inside me like a poison.  it infects every part of me until it feels like they’re in my goddamn soul…and then i fuck it up.  and it’ll destroy us both.  ”  

“  i’ll always choose you.  that’s the worst part of it all.  i’d choose you over and over, even though i know you wouldn’t do the same.  ”  

“  you never had to be perfect.  you just had to stay.  ”

“  will you please just stay for once.  just.  don’t walk away.  ” 

“  if i loved you less,  i might be able to talk about it more.  ”   

“  just tell me something real.  tell me something i can remember no matter what happens to us.  ”

“  when you look at me,  i feel seen.  i feel like you see past everything i’ve always surrounded myself with to try and protect my heart.  no one has ever looked that deeply at me.  ”  

“  how can you uncover so much about someone,  make them let their guard down and lay themselves bare to you.  and then just throw it all away?  ”

“  if you walk out that door don’t bother coming back.  ”

“  why are you so afraid of trusting this—  trusting us.  what’s making you hold back?  ”

“  will you still be here?  will you stay even after you’ve seen all the ugly parts of my heart.  ”  

“  i don’t care how willing you are to die for me.  i want you to fucking live with me.  live for us.  ” 

HURT/COMFORT

[ DISCOVER ] for one muse to find the other crying alone. 

[ COMPANY ] for one muse to sit with the other so they don’t have to be alone while they’re upset. 

[ EMBRACE ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one for their own comfort. 

[ OFFER ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one to comfort them.

[ SETTLE ] for one muse to comfort the other and end up cuddling. 

[ SHOULDER ] for one muse to rest their head on the other’s shoulder while they comfort them. 

[ CARRY ]  for one muse to find the other injured and carry them to safety.

[ SECURE ] for one muse to carry the other to bed after they fell asleep. 

[ STRUGGLE ]  for one muse to resist being hugged but then break down and crumble against the other. 

[ CLEAR ] for one muse to wipe the other’s tears. 

[ BREAKDOWN ] for one muse to ask the other if they’re okay prompting them to finally stop bottling things up. 

[ BRUSH ] for one muse to run their fingers through the other’s hair while they open up or cry. 

[ NURSE ] for one muse to tend to the other while they’re recovering from injuries. 

[ TRUST ] for a scenario where sender’s muse is the only one receivers muse will let close. 

[ COAX ] for scenario where receiver’s muse knows they’re the only one sender’s muse will let close. 

[ CALM ] for one muse to subdue the other during an outburst. 

[ CLARITY ] for one muse to help ground the other back in the present  (i.e. after nightmare, breakdown, battle etc)

[ PREVENT ] for one muse to stop the other from going too far during a fight. 

#i. » memes : oh you caught me come to life the moment when your eyes met mine . #((im in class but my prof's computer audio is glitching so bad there's no point to paying atention)) #((she's been saying 'st u u u u u u u u u u u u u u' for the last 5 min))

[pcachlovc]

DILRABA DILMURAT as JI YUNHE The Blue Whisper | 驭鲛记

#((this is to say)) #((g o d i need more fox demon au bb)) #((Fdjsk;afjkdals;fd)) #((tagging's for when im not in class fjadkl;JF;LKDSF)) #tw blood #((nEARLY FORGOT))

[pcachlovc]

i NEED TO STOP READING BOOKS THAT HURT ME

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #((kids....)) #((the b.lue w.hisper???)) #((it's going to destroy me)) #((i'm alREADY DESTROYED)) #((my girl...knows how TO PICK HER SCRIPTS)) #((FDJSKL;AFJDKSLFJL;KSDF))

[pcachlovc]

“I...” It’s not very OFTEN that Huaisang takes him by surprise, but in rare and far-inbetween instances it’s like Huaisang’s metamorphosed into a whole different person in front of his eyes. But - looking at him, slight and impossibly young and standing there with his fan - Jin Guangyao breathes out a sigh. “...No, nothing.” I’m sorry. “Nothing you need to worry about.” I really am sorry. A second brother... the wrong brother, the only brother Nie Huaisang will have left in the world. How can he take that away TOO? When he has taken so much already. “I just...” Forces a smile onto his face - good enough to fool others, though it feels like a hastily-applied plaster to himself, unnatural and ready to fall off at any moment. “Have a lot to do. You know what that feels like.”

@pcachlovc​   ;   “ You know you can talk to me about anything, right? ” (jgy & nhs - I hate that he really d o e s mean it djdjdjd)  /  found family prompts.

𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧. a jittery breath escapes as he swallows a lump from the back of his throat as eyes shift to the familiar figure. lips twist into a modest grin.   “   of course     [  …  ]   you’re like a second brother to me!  ”  the response flows melodiously like that of a chirp from a songbird.  “   but uh    [  …  ]   i don’t think i have anything to say! what - what about you? do you have something you need to tell me?   ”    eyes peer at the other while the fan is released, and then brought up to fan and conceal the lower half of his face.

#bastrdmen #ii. » jin guangyao : go on and cry . but when the morning comes we'll burn it down and then we'll build the world again . #i. » interactions : now I'm causing a scene thinking you need a reason to smile . #((i hate his logic but in the twisTED SENSES IT MAEKS SENSE)) #((fjsdkl;fjdsfaklsdf i cRY AT THIS RELATIONSHIP)) #((LIERALLY ALWAYS)) #((GOD QINGHE TRIO JUST...INDUCES ALL THE TEARS))

[pcachlovc]

new ask meme: whats my Thing. Like my Brand™ on tumblr.com

#i. » memes : oh you caught me come to life the moment when your eyes met mine . #((if anyone says crying over depression queens you’d be right but uncreative))

[pcachlovc]

t-minus 24 hours to w.ind r.ises in l.uoyang : ‘’’’ D

#i. » ooc : you swore and said we are not shining stars . this I know . I never said we are . #((im Weirdly Excited for this one all things considered)) #((but like...it looks good)) #((anyway....icb everything is airing during finasl season hhhh))

[pcachlovc]

i know i am not a bad man - i know because i see me in you .      you reject the dark. you reflect the light . 

#ii. » bai feng jiu : she captured a feeling . the sky with no ceiling . the sunset inside a frame . #iii. » feng jiu & donghua : this eternal night with no end in sight . it's you who gifted the morning . / dreams of fate #((hello im here to cry)) #((this is still the faovirte set i've ever made)) #((despitE ITS OUTDATED COLORING AND QUALITY STANDARDS)) #((i love it : ' D)) #((i'm emOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO IT))

[pcachlovc]

Not being perfect hurts

Sylvia Plath - from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (via watchoutforintellect)

#ii. » xie lian : left hand picking flowers . right hand dancing swords . between my brows fall ten thousand years of snow . #((oops)) #((putting this down here)) #((cause uh)) #((portraYAL NOTES))

[pcachlovc]

“...The Cleansing alleviates the saber spirit.” He finds himself explaining, voice pinched lightly. “But YOU need help too.” Swallows thickly, ignoring how much of a hypocrite he’s likely being as he makes himself look up from the strings of the guqin. “Have you talked to anyone about what happened at Sun Palace? Or...anything else that happened during the war? And how you...feel about it?” Unlikely - knowing what he knows about Mingjue. “Because you need to.”

@pcachlovc​ said: “ please— just let me help you. ” (shit fuck ignore the one i sent just bareLY NIEYAO)

      “Isn’t that what Cleansing is for?” Hands rested flat on the table, inhale then exhale. He already went through accepting the help of first Lan Xichen playing for him then Meng Yao taking over the role. There wasn’t anything else anyone could do beyond that unless someone could get Huaisang to practice saber and study scripture more. But both of his sworn brothers treated the boy too lightly, as if it were okay for him to slack off as much as he did.

#dreams of fate #ii. » jin guangyao : go on and cry . but when the morning comes we'll burn it down and then we'll build the world again . #i. » interactions : now I'm causing a scene thinking you need a reason to smile . #dreams of fate » feat. nie mingjue #((a-yao vc: pls talk thru ur trauma))

[pcachlovc]

indulgentia​ // RUNYU :

Dragon’s  deceived  at  first,  trapped  in  his  pointless  perfectionism  and  self-indulgence  to  even  notice  that  he  was  being  absorbed  in  his  own  work,  spending  more  energy  than  his  body  was  perhaps  able  to.  A  terrible  habit  developed  over  the  centuries.  He  could  still  find  some  comfort  in  the  rather  childish  thought  of  leaving  his  queen  satisfied  and  proud,  perhaps  the  only  thought  that  carried  him  through  the  days,  after  all.  Getting  to  such  point  alone,  however,  could  be  considered  a  prowess  for  a  supposedly  ethereal  immortal  creature.  Did  his  faults  and  flaws  reach  this  point?  Thus  the  end  of  a  strenuous  work  cycle  came  to  an  end  in  the  arms  of  his  beloved  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  Quite  literally.

❛❛ I  am  ━━━━━━━  please,  do  not  worry  so. ❜❜      Of  course,  there  was  no  way  this  phrase  would  have  the  desired  calming  effect.  But  all  he  wanted  was  to  unburden  his  Xiao  Jiu’s  heart  of  any  concern,  even  though  his  body  pledged  otherwise.  He  almost  tried  to  stop  her  from  signaling  to  the  maid,  one  hand  raised  in  the  air  but  too  slow  to  do  the  task.  While  his  pride  seemed  to  sink  into  the  bottom  of  his  stomach,  all  he  wanted  was  to  look  at  that  delicate  face  and  try  his  best  to  feign  indifference.  To  no  avail.      ❛❛ I  am  not  sure  if  I  have,  but  it  is  not  that  important:  I  am  perfectly  fine,  you  see? ❜❜      Speech  ends  with  a  smile  as  no  resistance  to  her  is  offered.

In spite of protest, she takes him all the way into his chambers - ignoring the looks the passersby in the winding hallways cast at her as she speeds past them - and sits him down on his bed. Props a stack of pillows under him to keep him upright, aware that unless he falls asleep in the next few minutes like this she ought to try to feed him first. Whenever he gets busy, she tries not to bother him - the quicker he can finish, the quicker he can REST. When she goes into his study to deliver snacks and tea, it’s not very often that she stays to make sure they’re actually EATEN. Sends another maid to heat up the porridge that she’d only made that morning.

 “...YOU’RE important.” Turns back to him and smooths stray strand of hair away from his eyes - fixing him with a stern look - the effect quite ruined, she’s sure, by the way her eyes were red-rimmed slightly with tears. Is it an adjustment to think of himself as such? Her chest hurts to think of it and she isn’t entirely sure. He’s always held it together in front of her so well thus far that sometimes she FORGETS he needs to be reminded. Sniffs, and lifts back of hand to press gently against his forehead, just to check if he has a temperature. “And you’re clearly not fine - you just fell on me like that - ” Cuts off, and she lowers her gaze, silent for a moment, trying to control her voice. “...You scared me.”  

#indulgentia #ii. » bai feng jiu : she captured a feeling . the sky with no ceiling . the sunset inside a frame . #i. » interactions : now I'm causing a scene thinking you need a reason to smile . #indulgentia » feat. runyu #((sobs)) #((she says PLS U CAN ASK FOR HELP)) #((fjdskafj;dklsf)) #((dude it's all good im sure i owe u some things too fdjsafj;ldsf)) #((i'm a Mess (tm)))