parkmin--seo

[parkmin--seo]

“Mother, i have pasts inside me i did not bury properly. Some nights, your daughter tears herself apart yet heals in the morning.”

— Ijeoma Umebinyuo (via missdorianagray)

#✯ | and she finds it difficult to believe that a person would love her even when she isn’t trying ; thoughts.

[parkmin--seo]

“How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?”

— Richard Siken, Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light (via halflunar)

#✯ | and she finds it difficult to believe that a person would love her even when she isn’t trying ; thoughts. #tw: murder #( queue. )

[parkmin--seo]

#✯ | you can see the flowers in my hair but not the devils in my brain ;; photo album. #( queue. )

[parkmin--seo]

cfandromeda​:

Between Minnie showing up and the scene Andromeda had caused the guy slunk off. “You didn’t have to do that…but thanks Mittens.” Andie said, feeling a comforted by the fact someone she knew was there now. ”I’m glad you’re here though. I was going crazy, you know i hate places like this.” she chuckled awkwardly. “But…what are you doing here?” she asked. 

Minnie exhaled a sigh of relief as the guy walked off, grateful that Andie’s speech and her appearance had been enough to deter him. “I know I didn’t have to, especially because you definitely seemed to have it handled, but... You’re welcome,” she replied, a soft smile forming on her lips afterward. “Yeah, places like this aren’t my favorite either. Too noisy and too many people like that around that it’s difficult to believe anyone can feel comfortable here.” She wrinkled her nose. “Oh, I just... I was hungry and this was the first place that popped up on my google search for food near me.” Mostly a lie and she felt bad about it, but she didn’t know how to say the real reason behind it-- nor was she ready to admit that she wasn’t entirely better. “Next time, I think I’ll just make the walk to somewhere else,” she joked. 

#c #c: andromeda. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

reellykenzie​:

“I could never smack you. Maybe I could fake cry to make you feel bad and rethink things though,” she suggested instead, grinning at Minnie again. “I think your mom was doing the same thing, just in a slightly different way. But now you’re both actually dealing and it’s making a difference,” Kenzie agreed with a smile. “And she really does. And I will remind you how much she loves you whenever you fail to remember it.” The puppies seemed to be about ready to sleep now, so she transferred the one in her lap to go cuddle with their siblings before standing up and stretching, offering her hand to Minnie. “You can be strong for your friends. I have seen that for myself.”

Minnie playfully pouted at Kenzie’s words. “Hey, that’s mean,” she teased. “But you already know that would definitely work. I’d feel terrible for making you cry. Even if I knew you were faking.” She grinned. “I know, but I was thirteen and I just didn’t see it that way. But yeah, dealing is making a huge difference. Should have tried it sooner.” Perhaps it would never be the right time to make jokes about her previous behavior, but it was one way of coping. “I appreciate that. And I love you for it. On top of a million other reasons.” Her grin widened a bit, as she gave the puppies a few more pets, before also handing them off so they could take a nap. She gratefully accepted Kenzie’s hand, allowing herself to be pulled up. “Off to the kittens, yeah?” She beamed, already excited to play with more animals. “Coming from you, who is the most amazing friend, that means a lot.” 

#c #c: kenzie. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

celesticlbeauty​:

     “Oh, no, I understand completely. I think my mother has literally drilled it into my brain by now to feel ultra guilty about things like that. It makes me feel all sweaty and nauseated which is…gross…sorry” she smiled sheepishly, realizing she might be oversharing. “I think I need to start challenging myself to rely on the library more, or my memory like you said. It’s gotta be good for us, right?”

“Are your mother and mine the same person, then? Because seriously, same,” she replied half-jokingly, because it was true that her umma was a large part of why she couldn’t be that dishonest. “Well, that, and my appa was an FBI agent, so that left little room for lying when I was a kid. I couldn’t get anything past him if I tried and honestly was too chicken to try.” She laughed. “Yeah, same. Because you’re right, it definitely would be better for us in the long run. But I’m not exactly the poster child for doing things that are good for me.” She winced, once she realized she had said that aloud, and she was quick to smile afterward, to make it seem like a joke. 

#c #c: celeste. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

minnie park’s outfit for luxor’s lunar new year charity gala 

#luxevent #luxlunarnewyear #( closet. ) #( tag tbd. ) #// i said minnie was going to sit this one out but i saw the dress and thought of her so #even if i don't write her she's still there

[parkmin--seo]

Nikki Giovanni, from “Mirrors”

[Text ID: … but It Cannot Be A Mistake to have cared … It Cannot Be An Error to have tried … It Cannot Be Incorrect to have loved]

#i feel like this is aimed @ so many people for her tbh #✯ | she was not a girl of ice and glass at all but a girl of sunshine and stardust ;; musings.

[parkmin--seo]

grantdixons​:

well. shit. now, he was the asshole. everyone knew DIBS were sacred. especially on study hall desks. light, general vibe “ – she’s got good taste. ” wait, shit. did he just say that, OUT LOUD? watching her wince, he felt a pang of guilt punch straight into his chest, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips as the pencil dropped, unclenching the jaw he hadn’t even know began to tense up, but he supposed it was probably the time when his fingers with skirting along the keyb furiously, quickly typing out the paragraphs that crafted themselves in his mind. “ SHIT, i’m sorry i-ill, hey, i’ll move, sorry – i’m… exhausted. ” another understatement, god he was having a lot of those fuckers tonight. and he was right, exhaustion painted every feature of his face, his eyes darkening as his mind was only focus on the bed that awaited him. a hand brushed across his face, stretching his skin down as his hands wiped away, shaking his head – a pathetic attempt to awaken. “ i… i should probably get to bed anyway, if i do ANOTHER hour of this, i’ll probably end up losing it. ”

“Um, thanks?” She furrowed her brows, unsure if he had meant to say that aloud, but also not wanting to come off rude, on the off chance that he had meant to. She had never been particularly skilled in confrontation, never knew how to react when someone raised their voice or took an unpleasant tone with her. She’d been attempting to work on that, but it was safe to say that a spine was something she severely lacked. And of course, she felt bad when he apologized for having snapped, having not honestly intended to cause him to feel guilty or really expected him to. After all, she didn’t own the table and he had been there first, so maybe it had been rude of her to attempt to sit there without asking. “No, you don’t... Really, it’s fine. You don’t have to move. You were there first and I... I mean, it’s a table in public library. I didn’t, like, reserve it or anything.” She tried to make the words sound playful, but she mostly just sounded about as awkward and uncomfortable as she felt. At his following words, her gaze dropped to the books in front of him-- not in an attempt to be nosy, but it was more like a reflex, than anything. “That, uh, does look like a lot,” she commented quietly, gaze flitting to him again. “But uh, losing it probably wouldn’t be good. A break might help you feel less tense... Not that I’m assuming you are tense or anything, just...” She let the sentence trail off, deciding not to dig herself a deeper hole. 

#c #c: grant. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

briamonroe​:

“Wow, you are so much more fucked up than I thought.” Bria joked, given their last interaction and escaping away by scaling a building, it felt like an appropriate joke to make. “Kidding.” She nudged the girl and giggled as she said she’d stand out at a Doja Cat concert, “Literally nobody would stand out, that’s the point. Doja is the stand out queen.” In the moment Bria’s brain drifted away beginning to put together what she might wear if she was going to a Doja Cat concert, shaking it off she focused back on Minnie, “Well then consider me your blank canvas. I’ll wear whatever you make for me, and make sure everybody knows exactly who designed it.” 

Minnie couldn’t help but to laugh at that. While she was aware that Bria had been joking, she couldn’t help thinking how true that undoubtedly was. She was kind of an absolute mess. Or had been, anyway. “No, no, even if you were serious, I take it as a compliment. Because at least I’m not boring, right?” She played along, her giggles easily echoing Bria’s before she grinned over at her. “Okay, fair point. And no one would be staring at me anyway. All eyes on Doja, at all times,” she said with another laugh, though she mostly felt that to be true because Doja was interesting, to say the least. “Yeah? In that case, I will get to work on something asap. No hard feelings if you totally hate it, however. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. I’ll just cry about it later,” she joked. 

#c #c: bria. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

richwithlxve​:

“Nope, it wouldn’t,” he let out a small laugh, he remembered when the thought alone of going on stage, terrified him. That seemed like ages ago, “Both, I’m the singer and also the guitarist, Luca is the drummer,” he knew how to play drums, but he wanted to do this with his friends. Doing it alone just seemed boring, so even if he could do it, he would still invite Luca to be part of it, he enjoyed his company, enjoyed hanging out with him, “I used to be like that too, I only danced in my room, when I was alone, so I get it.”

“Singer and guitarist? Very impressive. Maybe I’ll have to check out one of your shows some time. What kind of music do you guys play?” she questioned. Honestly, she was open to most genres, though anyone who knew her was aware that she had a preference for k-pop. Or more like an obsession. “Yeah, same. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to dance when other people is watching, but I doubt that day will come anytime soon,” she joked, though it was probably true. “Same for singing. My showerhead is the only audience I allow.” 

#c #c: rich. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

literallyliam​:

It had quite sunk in when he was in the process of doing the mixing. No it didn’t set in what he’d just done until he was sitting next to her and physically handing her the drink. Watching her take that first sip that he fully accepted what he’d just done. Sure he didn’t exactly feel like he’d had any other choice, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t done this to the entire group of them previously, but something about this. Something about doing this to one person felt gross. He could feel his skin crawling and he wasn’t sure if it was the guilt or the drug already starting to set in. He took a long pull from the beer he’d grabbed for himself, watching again as she seemed to process the taste of what was in the cup. He hadn’t expected it to be that bad but he knew it couldn’t have been great. Not like it’d have been if she’d agreed to go with the punch or hard liquor. At her suggestion of switching he almost suggested it, until he realized what it’d mean for his instructions. 

“I mean yeah. Beer is never anyones favorite thing to drink at parties like this. It’s just one of the more popular options if you’re not trying to get wasted in the first 15 minutes amirite?” He teased, knowing unfortunately for her that wasn’t going to be quite as much of an option as she was thinking. “I’ll make you a deal though. Finish this with me, because mama didn’t raise no quitter, and then I can grab us something that tastes way better after.” He suggested, raising his own glass to his lips and quick chugging the remainder of what was in his cup. The feeling of it sliding down his throat, soothing when he thought of the feeling it’d give him once the buzz started. “What is normally your go to, to do at things like this?” He asked as he finished off his beer and looked to the rest of the crowd. “Are you more the sit around and watch or are we getting up and dancing tonight?” 

“Beer isn’t my favorite drink ever, if I’m being entirely honest. I’ve only tried it once before, but gotta admit, the taste isn’t my favorite,” she confessed, a soft laugh echoing the words. In truth, she had been more of a tequila drinker-- at least, toward the end of last semester, when she’d disappeared to her room in between classes and taken drinks from the tequila bottle she’d kept hidden there. Not that she was about to admit as much aloud, lest she make herself sound like an alcoholic, when she had spent the majority of that time refusing to believe that she’d most definitely been relying on it far too much for her behavior to have been considered normal. “My mama didn’t raise no quitter either, so you have a deal, but only if I feel like having another drink after this which I can’t promise that I will because I’m more of a one drink and done kinda girl,” she fibbed, laughter spilling from her lips afterward, mostly to cover up that her words had been entirely a lie. Well, maybe not entirely because she really didn’t think it was a good idea to drink more, but she wasn’t going to say that.

She took a few more drinks from her cup, before electing to merely finish it off, save herself the trouble of consistently having to wince at the taste of the beer. She chuckled when he asked what her go to was at things like this, mostly because the assumption that she had a go-to was amusing to her. Any partying she had done had mostly been solo. “Definitely the sit around and watch type, but.... I mean, we came here to have fun, right? So why not be a little adventurous, join the others clearly having the time of their lives?” she suggested, a grin playing on her lips as she looked at him, before setting her empty cup to the opposite of her. She remained still for a few minutes despite her words, however, before deciding to say screw it and just stand up. “So what do you say? Shall we?” she asked, not waiting for a response before starting to sort of slowly shimmy her way toward the others who had already started to dance. She was aware she looked ridiculous, but well, she had promised herself she would try to have fun. 

#c #c: liam. #( location: new zealand. ) #tw: addiction #tw: roofies #tw: drugs #tw: alcohol

[parkmin--seo]

“I tried to copy other children but lacked their tough skin. I was a glove turned inside-out, softness showing.”

— Jeanette Winterson, from Gut Symmetries (via firstfullmoon)

#✯ | and she finds it difficult to believe that a person would love her even when she isn’t trying ; thoughts.

[parkmin--seo]

lucent-luca​:

“You’d totally rock a face tat,” Luca played along, smiling amiably, as if he took no notice of her nervousness. Either way, he couldn’t really blame her for feeling jumpy… Not with all this shit going on lately. Luca kept their gaze on Minnie as she looked up, studying her like a puzzle. He raised his eyebrow, and his mind drifted to the possibilities that may have kept her up at night. He wasn’t going to make it his problem, but Luca vaguely recognized the girl as one of the people who’d been relentlessly gossiped about following Thanksgiving. “Just returning to the scene of the crime,” he joked, unable to bring himself to form a serious answer. “Figured I was bored out of my mind, may as well play detective.”

Minnie playfully wrinkled her nose as she tried to picture herself with a face tattoo. “No, I would look ridiculous, but you’re kind for sparing my feelings,” she argued playfully, giving a small shake of her head afterward. “The scene of the crime?” She furrowed her brows, confused for a second, before instantly feeling like an idiot because she had momentarily forgotten that the party had been held in this vicinity. “Right. The party that ended just about the same as every other Luxor party does.” She didn’t mean to sound bitter, but she was, a little. “I’m not sure there are really any clues here that are going to be helpful, but I wish you luck. I’d offer to assist you, but I suck at games like Clue so I’d be kinda useless,” she joked. 

#tw: flashing gif #c #c: luca. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

reellykenzie​:

“I hope you remember that the next time I get good pushy and try to make you talk when you don’t want to,” she joked, grinning at her. “Hey, you both had your issues you needed to deal with. It would have been hard for you guys to really connect or anything if you didn’t deal with some of that first. I know my mom and yours talked a lot about that stuff too. You guys can’t get back all that time you were both still dealing with your dad, but you have each other now,” Kenzie pointed out with a smile. “Yeah, I know. She always says I am like my dad, but that is definitely one way we are the same.”

“If, for some absurd reason, I don’t happen to remember that, I give you full permission to smack some sense into my stupid head,” she teased, her smile gentle as she looked at Kenzie. “I know and considering my method of dealing was to not actually deal at all, I wasn’t really helping anything. I just regret that I spent a lot of my time blaming her for my actions. It wasn’t her fault. And I know we can’t get back the time that we lost, but I’m grateful that we’re making up for it now. I’m lucky to still have a parent who love and worries about me so much.” It’d become increasingly obvious that not everyone was that lucky. “Nothing wrong with that. I’m definitely like my mom in a lot of ways. I don’t think I’m much like my dad was. He was always so strong.” 

#c #c: kenzie. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

nate-shaw​:

Nate’s expression shifted at Minnie’s question - just for a moment, almost flinching at the reminder, though it passed so quickly the reaction was almost imperceptible. “Nah, it’s fine. Already broke into your room and am stealing your food. Wouldn’t want to put you out any further,” he said, an attempt at a crooked smirk following the words, like it was all one big joke. It was easier for him, if he acted like that. And in a way, it was. Just not one that was funny to him. 

He reached out, popping one of the dumplings between his lips, his eyes flickering towards her for a moment before he looked away, a small snort of laughter leaving his lips. “Bout time I got to see your room. Hang out in your bed. Only fair, considering the fun we had in mine, don’t you think?” he said after a moment, unashamed in his teasing of her as he dropped onto the bed next to her, his mood ever so slightly lifted, though he could still feel the anger pounding in the back of his mind. He supposed it would be there for a while. “Almost started to think you were avoiding me,” he commented, if simply to have a subject to talk about that wasn’t the bruises on his face. 

“Don’t think it qualifies as stealing my food when I offered it to you, but well, you did break into my room, that much is true,” Minnie replied playfully, mostly as an attempt to not push the matter. If he said he was fine, she’d choose to believe him, despite it not actually looking like it was fine. She’d never been hit herself so who was she to say that it was as bad as it looked? “The offer is on the table though, if you change your mind,” she tacked on quietly, letting the subject drop completely as she grabbed one of the dumplings and took a few small bites from it.

As his following words filled her ears, she was grateful that she hadn’t taken a larger bite, because she undoubtedly would have choked. “In my defense, I did kind of run away not long after so isn’t like I was here to invite you over anyway. You are the first guy to see my room though, if it’s of any consolation,” she teased, recalling a second later that the words weren’t true, but he was at least the only guy she’d slept with who had gotten to see her room. “I wasn’t avoiding you,” she fibbed, not very convincingly, but it wasn’t like she thought Nate would care if she actually had been, regardless. “Maybe a little, but not actively attempting to, anyway,” she corrected herself. “Isn’t like I have a reason to. I had... I had fun, but isn’t every day that I just show up at a guy’s door for that reason.” Which she was certain went without saying and came as a shock to absolutely no one. 

#c #c: nate. #( location: new zealand. )

[parkmin--seo]

reellykenzie​:

“Well I am definitely pushy, but thank you for trying to save my feelings,” she joked, grinning at Minnie for a moment. She scratched a puppy’s head as it crawled into her lap, yawning and laying down. “Yeah, I’m glad too. I think it’s helping your guy’s relationship too. The more your mom deals with things, the more she can focus on you and fixing things between you guys. And my mom won’t let her give up on any of that,” she added.

“It’s a good pushy, and you have a big heart so it’d be kind of impossible to be mad at you for it,” she joked in reply, but it was true that she thought Kenzie had a big heart. Probably bigger than anyone else that she knew, for that matter. Including herself. “Well, you are right. As usual. Spending all that time together over the summer helped, too. I feel bad that I ever felt any resentment toward her. I appreciate your mom a lot for that. You’re a lot like her. In the sense that you don’t let people give up. Which is a compliment, by the way.” 

#c #c: kenzie. #( location: new zealand. )