parklove

[parklove]

˚𓂃 VISUAL ARCHIVE : hollywood's fairytale prince 3 / ?? .  ♡

writing partners may reblog ! ﹙ personals do not interact. ﹚

#graphics #vis

[parklove]

HEADCANON 003.   physique

an unnecessarily long and detailed breakdown of love park's physical appearance

HAIR : love’s hair is smooth and straight but very thick. while generally easy to manage, it does take more effort to get a thorough wash and longer time to dry. for a majority of their childhood, their hair was kept black or browns that were a few shades lighter to maintain a certain “look” for the roles they played. at most, blue streaks were added during the filming of next but never much more than that. since their break from hollywood, love began bleaching and dying their hair regularly, maintaining a sandy to natural blond shade and also tried pink a couple times. they prefer this look and associate the natural dark colors to bad memories. hair is the one thing that is unaffected by love's vampirism so they take extra care of it with high-end brands and treatments to maintain fair health.

EYES : she has big, doe eyes and long lashes to frame them, often the first thing that's noticed when people meet love face-to-face. she plays around with makeup and will usually match to the outfit for the day, but mostly opts for a soft makeup look with pink/peach, reds or light brown eyeshadow and light glitter. love's eyes have an almost "glassy" appearance to them, giving a permanent "sparkle" which only adds to the "ethereal, straight-out-a-fairytale" vibe. they are also extremely dark but when caught in direct light, they can be seen actually being very deep red in color, falling more in the maroon or mahogany category than brown. other unnatural components about love's eyes is the fact that they’re reflective like an animal's and when she hasn't fed in a while, her eyes tend to fade to a lighter/duller color.

MOUTH : love’s lips are a bit on the smaller side with an exaggerated cupid’s bow, and a pouty lower lip. he smiles a lot in a relaxed, half-grin that grows when he's excited or amused; showing perfectly aligned and very white teeth with slight but notably sharp incisors and canines that appear like small fangs―  which they are, of course, but they’re retracted in this state and only fully exposed for feeding. love also wears lip gloss constantly and likes to suck on lollipops often so he almost always smell and taste like candy. with smooth but a little cold (pay no mind to that) lips, it's recommend to give him a little kiss…  just to test it out!

FEATURES : their nose is strong and tall, cheekbones high, jawline sharp and face proportioned in nearly perfect thirds as well. checking off the boxes for “conventionally attractive”, “masculine” features but overall has a soft appearance still, love earned spots in lists such as "the most attractive faces in the world" and "sexiest men alive" in various media publications throughout their career.

HANDS : love tends to talk a lot with her hands so they’re constantly moving and animating whatever story she's telling; and they’re pretty hands too. her fingers are long and slender with a good reach and nails that are always well-manicured. love hasn't done a lot of heavy manual labor in her life and take good care of herself so her skin is very smooth and almost always smell of coconut lotion― but of course, she's notably cold, as if she's been out in the snowy weather despite living in los angeles (but if you hold them long enough, love's hands will warm up!)

SKIN : he is tan as you would expect the stereotypical californian to be and you could search every inch of him but won’t find a single blemish or flaw due to his vampirism. the only downside to this is when love realized any piercings or tattoos would also heal and disappear at rapid speeds. just like his hands, the rest of their skin feels smooth but tends to be a bit cold. despite this, love blushes easily that you would think he run warm. this can be blamed on the vampirism's unnatural way of appearing more alive and human―  at times, it can seem too much and even unsettling.

BUILD : their build is definitely more on the slender / slim side but still has mostly muscle mass and kept in healthy shape for their acting roles (now, their peak physique is permanent). love naturally has a small frame but broader shoulders than expected which makes their waist and hips seem even smaller than they already are. their body is rather disproportionate when taken into consideration but it works out for them. two - thirds of love's total length is due to their legs which give them a lanky, tall look despite only being average height, and they naturally have a build that seems straight out a magazine. strangely, they feel heavier than you’d expect. love feels very solid, like trying to push over an athlete that’s been doing intensive bodybuilding daily for years.

#hc

[parklove]

˚𓂃 VISUAL ARCHIVE : hollywood's fairytale prince 2 / ?? .  ♡

writing partners may reblog ! ﹙ personals do not interact. ﹚

#graphics #vis

[parklove]

THERAPY 001.  october 14, 2019 15:03

content warning: mentions of murder, technical cannibalism, disordered eating and self-harm

“  you look terrible. when’s the last time you’ve fed?  ” 

love leans forward, elbows resting on knees and chin resting in hands as eyes studied over the features of the dark-haired woman across from them. she was waiting for their answer, pen and paper on her lap scrawled with notes upon notes in a futile attempt to navigate such stormy waters. she was good, love would give her that. despite the insanity of it all,  dr. hudson, or liz as love referred to her, handled her dhampir patient rather well. diagnoses were difficult, medications never worked and it was hard to differentiate what was a human problem versus a vampire one, but with her help, there has been some progress in love's well-being. “ about a week ago i think," they answer finally, sitting up but still not breaking their gaze from the other. " if everyone in LA is walking around with bite marks on their neck or wrists, people are gonna start freaking out and coming up with some crazy story of a serial killer...  anyways,  it really doesn’t matter.  ”

the doctor sighs and sets her notepad aside to look back at her patient. before, it was uncomfortable to do so. from the first moment the actor had set foot in her office, she knew there was something off about them, something that lifted the hairs on her neck and made ever fiber itch to run. a natural instinct; she was prey technically after all. but love was harmless, despite their nature and eventually, her uneasiness became a fascination, every new discovery in this field is something that she is at the helm of. they had a connection that was built on her delicately peeling back of each mask they’ve molded on when they were too afraid to share it with anyone else.

“  yes, this bloodlust can be considered an addiction. however, unlike other addictions, you need this to survive. you’re trying to cut off a necessity, your literal food source, to punish yourself. it’s a form of self-harm. we talked about your harmful eating habits before, just because you’re a vampire, doesn’t mean you aren’t displaying symptoms of an eating disorder.  ” “  'harmful eating habits' is having to literally eat people, liz.  ” “  we eat other animals to survive. that is just the way of life.  ”

“  you’re surprisingly chill about all this,  ”  love raises a brow at the psychiatrist, still both impressed and intimidated by her ability to adapt after all these few short months. if it weren’t for the muted flutter of a living human heart within her chest, love would’ve mistaken her understanding for empathy through experience―  she could’ve been a vampire herself.

“  i want what’s best for you,  ”  her gaze turned to the clock that read three minutes past the hour and would bring their session to a close.  after a few swipes of her phone, she gives love a stern look,  “  go to the hospital after you leave. i have someone that’ll restock your supply and if you don’t show up, they’ll let me know.  ” love stands silently, lips pressed together to keep from arguing as they shrug on their hoodie and make their way towards the door.

“  love,  ”  they stop to look back at the doctor curiously, hand hovering over door handle and waiting for her to continue,  “  just because you view yourself as some kind of monster for something you can’t control, doesn’t mean other people see the same thing. remember that.  ” there was a long pause from love, a poor attempt to smile back at her given but could never really reach their eyes,  “  honestly liz, i just don’t think you really get it. you’re only human after all, y'know?  ”

#writing

[parklove]

˚𓂃 VISUAL ARCHIVE : hollywood's fairytale prince 1 / ?? .  ♡

writing partners may reblog ! ﹙ personals do not interact. ﹚

#graphics #vis

[parklove]

FLASHBACK 001.  november 3, 2021 23:10

content warning: childhood trauma, neglect, abuse and family death

“  is it really that hard for you?  ” love asks, uncharacteristically cold but in this moment, they are their father’s child. the answer was right there, standing across from them in the cold, dark entry way but they knew that the two of them could see each other clearly still. he didn’t give anything away, expression stony and cold just as they remembered from their childhood.

“  you know what you are is a violation of nature. the fact that i’m letting you stand here, breathing, is more than you deserve.  ” 

love scoffs, seething in anger because that was easier than acknowledging the way each word was a twisting knife in their gut. they should have been afraid but instead, love is only tired; tired of being given that same look― the disgust from nearly every vampire they’ve met as if they were the only monster in the room.

it’s a terrible idea, love. you won’t find what you’re looking for. juliet had warned them as she pressed the small piece of paper with an address scrawled on it into their hands. but love didn’t even know what they were looking for in the first place. it wasn’t as if love expected a warm welcome with open arms and affectionate words, an explanation would be do just fine― at the very least, some closure. for years now, the memories have gnawed at their conscious and no matter how forcefully they tried to push it back, the question still lingered like a shadow following behind them everywhere they went.

“  a ‘violation of nature’ that you made. what, in the thousands of years that you’ve been alive, you never figured out what a condom was? ” love sneered, teeth that were much too sharp and much too white gleaming as a warning,  “  you look at me like i killed my mom when it was your fault―  ”

“  watch your mouth,  ”  he interrupted with enough venom in his tone to make love’s own rage falter slightly as they flinched,  “  she was the only person in a thousand years that i loved. you can’t even imagine what i felt watching you tear her apart.  ”

“  i was a fucking baby!  ”  at that moment, the wall love had tried to build crumbled and not only the anger but the hurt, the disappointment, all of it tumbled out in the form of raised voice and half-choked sob.  “  i was a child― your child too! you kept me but couldn’t even give me a name? i remember everything now, the way you and those other vampires avoided me like i was a disease and i could never figure out why you all hated me. why didn’t you just kill me back then if i'm not suppose to be alive? why haven’t you done it already?  ”

he goes silent, only the sound of love’s quiet sniffs and pounding heart could be heard between them. juliet had been right, love did not find what they were looking for here. after what seemed like an eternity where the world stood still, they turned to make their way to the front door, shoulders slumped and heel of their hand rubbing at their eyes furiously,  “  i guess i’m not going to get shit out of you. this was a mistake.  ”

“  your mother…  ”  he spoke so softly that if love was merely human, they would have missed it. they paused in the open doorway, hesitantly looking back at the other, wondering how someone could possibly be so painfully familiar and yet a stranger at the same time,  “  she made me promise to give you a chance at life. when the hunters took you after they raided my home, i did find you again. why do you think you were adopted so quickly? i was the one to find that couple and made arrangements.  ”

“  thanks, i guess.  ”

“  i don’t need your gratitude,  ”  throughout the entire exchange, love could not find even the slightest glimpse of kindness within their father’s expression, nor could they hear any warmth in his words; but it felt pointless to care at this point. a shiver ran down their spine despite being unable to feel cold and their father continued, “  i can never feel love for you and you can hate me for that. but i won’t break my promise to your mother and so understand you are alive and well because of her. that is all i will ever do for you.  ”

“  right,  ”  love replies,  just as quiet.  “  i’d bring flowers to her grave but i have no idea where she’s buried―  ”

“  get out before i change my mind. i’m already condemned to hell, what difference would it make.  ”

mouth snaps shut, not needing to be told twice as they make their way down down the gravel pathway of the secluded home. they did not look back once, the old vampire noted before closing the door. on the muted tv in the other room, love’s face appears as the show reached the part where they were revealed for their guest appearance and he stops to watch. they had his face, but seeing them today made him realize that they carried themselves like their mother.

#writing

[parklove]

HEADCANON 001.   the effects of vampirism

the following is unique to love themselves, which varies in some ways to vampires/dhampirs in general from my canon due to their lineage.

love already couldn’t taste things very well even before turning.  they had hypogeusia which reduced their ability to taste salty and sour things―  after turning, love’s sense of taste was muted even more and so they tend to over-season foods when they cook.

drugs don’t really have an affect on her unless taken in extremely large dosages / quantities (or mixed in with the blood she consumes in order to be better absorbed by her body) therefore love is unmedicated for her mental illnesses. while she can still get intoxicated technically, love has an unnaturally high tolerance and probably will never get to that point so she doesn’t see a point in drinking or doing drugs at all.

temperature doesn’t bother love that much as his body adjusts to the environment with no discomfort to him. so while his resting temperature is colder than it should be (60-70 degrees F/15-21 degrees C), he can warm up if the environment is also warm and same for cooler situations.

their usual resting rate is about 25-40 bpm depending on their emotional state just like a normal human― it’s just unlikely that they’ll ever get as higher than 60. while sleeping, love’s heartrate drops to nearly 0, making them appear to be dead and almost impossible to wake until they’re ready.

love tends to cover up, not from the lack of body heat, but from the discomfort of sunlight. while the sun won’t kill or even harm her to a significant degree like it will full vampires, love is more sensitive to uv light than regular humans so she exhibits heat exhaustion - like symptoms rather easily.

to full vampires and most other supernatural creatures, love still smells and appears mostly human at first glance due to still being “half-human/half-alive”. it’s not until you get a closer look that his vampire attributes become more noticeable.

as a dhampir, love technically does not need blood to survive. because of their lineage (born with a “vampire gene” and their biological father being one of the original), love has an innate bloodlust that led them to develop a psychological dependency on blood strong enough to have a negative physical reaction when they go without feeding. unknown to them in the beginning, love’s craving wasn’t just for blood but for the violence that comes with the act; which is why they often are over-the-top and extreme with their kills when they do “lose control” and why their thirst seems more intense even to full vampires.

#hc

[parklove]

DISSECTION 003.   ‘i know:  you did not mean to be cruel’

content warning:  mentions of murder,  self-hatred and technical cannibalism

love has done something terrible again. a mess of unsightly red smears and lifeless heaps would only be revealed when the sun rose again― by noon, news headlines will read BODY FOUND FROM ANIMAL ATTACK. you waited too long again, a voice speaks to them from the back of their mind, stern but somehow still gentle, as if scolding a toddler for throwing a temper tantrum, now look what you’ve done. it’s always their mother’s voice; it’s the only way they can handle the aftermath of what they’ve done. it’s the only way they can still look in the mirror after it’s all said and done, after the water finally runs clear and they’ve rubbed every inch of themselves raw, when they wipe away the steam from the mirror and what looks back is merely a monster wearing the perfect skin.

strange how they are more familiar with a version of themselves that is on the verge of decay; that was who love park was suppose to be. dead and no more, six feet beneath some grassy cemetery after being tragically slain, mourned but still reputable, still good. not standing in the bathroom, head under faucet and desperately trying to rinse the strangely satisfying taste of death and iron from their mouth. not catching their own image in the mirror and seeing how they glow with life stolen from another victim they would never know but always remember. how beautiful, how horrifying their existence is.

imagine if [NAME]  knew. insert whatever name seemed fit; mother’s, sister’s, lover’s. the thought is always followed with a wave of guilt-ridden nausea and aching, an unconscious and self-inflicted punishment that left love fighting to stomach their own heart and disgust on the tile bathroom floor that was just as cold as they were. this was a reoccurring thing, a cycle that could be counted on because they’ve become convinced that this time, no this time, no this time,  they can control themselves. it’s been said before, insanity was repeating the same mistakes but expecting different results.

love’s hands may be dry but the blood never disappears.

#writing

[parklove]

DISSECTION 002.   ‘love is not a gentle,  lovely passion’

content warning:  mentions of mental disorders,  toxic relationship,  violence,  murder,  body horror

love lives up to their name. like the way the concept of love is sold to the public, they are dreamy and romantic, a walking projecting of the idealized fairy-tale. love is compassionate, exciting, and a perfect balance of proper and provocative; that is what is on the surface. but love is also complicated. not everyone wants the same love.

so what is love to love park?   love is absolute.

at first, it makes sense. an easy request―  no matter what, just love them. no matter what. isn’t that all anyone asks for? but then masks are taken off, true colors are revealed, and it’s not the picturesque romance that they used to cover up the way they’ve been rotting away. they can only love in sickening shades of red, can only set the home on fire with both of them inside and plead; don’t leave me, just lie down with me. they’re passionate,  intense and obsessive, navigating interactions sometimes like trying to defuse a timebomb. and sometimes it worked, it’d be a lie to say being loved like that didn’t leave a person dizzy and desperate for more. but there are also times where fights would grow destructive enough for both of them to ask the same question; are you going to kill me one day?

it’s an experience like a bullet that has twisted itself into love too deeply. it would be more damaging to pull out, so they stitched it closed rather crudely instead and ignored how infection has been eating away at them as the years pass. as long as they didn’t overexert themselves (don’t fall in love again. patch the hole with physicality instead, as close as you can get inside someone without touching their heart. eat them alive instead), it would be fine. no one can see how grotesque they’ve become on the inside, how they have devoured hearts to feed a bottomless hunger then used the remnants of failed loves they stole as patchwork in a desperate attempt to feel whole.  

#writing

[parklove]

DISSECTION 001.   ‘i don’t feel very human anymore’

content warning:  mentions of depersonalization / dehumanization and murder

“who is love park?” google will spew out a textbook answer: love park is a korean-american actor best known for their role in. . . and that serves most people well. love park is an icon and for thousands, a fantasy personified and plastered as a poster hung on the wall. or pixels coming together to illuminate a lockscreen. or fancy script written over and over with decorative hearts in a notebook. it hardly mattered whether it was young fans gushing about their daydreams in shared community or middle-aged interviewers that were far too comfortable throwing flirtatious comments to the fresh-faced, teenage newcomer of mainstream stardom; everyone had their own version of what the actor could be, should be, if they could only peek behind closed doors. a million different variations all co-existing, all valid, all fed and brought into existence by a team of micromanagers and even love themselves– and with this comes the death of love park as a singular person and the birth of LOVEPARK as a brand. 

and this leads to their death– the physical one, the one in which love was mercilessly attacked in the comfort and safety of their own bed– being rather symbolic. just as they were torn apart by the hungry but adoring masses over the last decade, the knife held by someone they thought to share an intimate devotion with slashed the star open in a gruesome but unnoticed display; a slow and quiet death with nothing to show for in the aftermath aside from the mental scars and seemingly random panic attacks that were quickly but almost coldly dealt with in order to get love back on set. even when, with doctor’s orders, they were forced to take a break, it was only after the success of the brand and money was jeopardized due to the growing signs of instability and looming threat of yet another celebrity-mental-breakdown-turned-spectacle. 

so love park is not their own person. not to their team who bent over backwards to keep their best talent from falling off the wagon, not by the millions who claim to love them unconditionally, and not even to themselves. in some way, however, when they lifted their eyes to their reflection, terrifyingly radiant and glowing with yet another stolen life, met with monstrous, bloodshot eyes and smears of blood across teeth too large and sharp to fit in their mouth–  they could find some solace in knowing that they have never been human in the first place.

#writing #i

[parklove]

DEATHLESS 003.   march ??, 2019  time unknown content warning:  mentions of torture and mutilation

they should have been cold. judging by the frost that had gathered on the window too high for them to reach, the weather sat below freezing and yet, the one thing love could not complain about was the temperature of the dark basement they were confined in. they did, however, have a long list of other things to take its place for the miserable state love park had found themselves in–   one of which was a voice that sent a shiver down the dhampir’s spine when the cold couldn’t,   “   you are fascinating, do you know that?   ” it belonged to a one cato wolfram, doctor and scientist but love only sees him as yet another asshole drunk on playing god. he’s an old friend who helped me after i turned, juliet had reassured them and love believed her when he had greeted the traveling pair with welcoming arms. that was over a week ago, maybe longer. time had become impossible to keep track of when they found themselves strapped to a cold, metal table to endure whatever so-called test the doctor wanted to try. and each time love thought he could not possibly find a new way to torment them, after all the blades and needles, the burning, the poison, there was something worse. the tests only grew more and more intense, and with every single one, love was so sure they would finally die. instead, they were left to lay awake in agony as their body traitorously healed their wounds only to be broken all over again. “   most vampires would have desiccated by now from lack of feeding, but you are still conscious,   ”   cato jotted a few notes down on his clipboard after looking love over with clinical scrutiny. his voice was gentle, as was the smile that he gave them. there was admiration in the way he turned turned love’s face this way and that to get a better look at them but it only left them feeling disgusted. had love not been met with a broken neck each time they tried to, they would have fought for their life to get to the door and escape.   “   actually, you’re better than conscious; you are still healing at an impressive rate. i believe your own blood is still human enough to sustain your vampiric nature. . . just fascinating.     ” love says nothing as he chuckles to himself, hardly wincing when the needle pierced their skin and drew dark liquid out into a tube for the doctor to test again. giving a reaction required too much energy, love realized rather quickly during their time down there. the worst of it passed a little more quickly the less they responded.  “   the council would have let you go to waste, you know,   ”   silence, aside from the clank of metal against metal and the low, electric hum of the lights as he prepared his work space,   “   they would kill you on the spot and have the nerve to call me barbaric. . . of course, they will likely force me to hand you over eventually when they find out you’re here but at least i have enough time to get some work done.   ”   still no sound came from love, though they couldn’t even if they wanted to as a bite block was placed into their mouth. cato, however, continued to mutter mostly to himself as he finished tightening the belts that would hold love in place as they undergo the latest procedure,   “   you have the answer, i know it. they will regret laughing at me when i find it.   ”    his face looms cruelly over love, the same smile still spread across porcelain features as if they were old friends, as if there was no scalpel in his hand to slice them open once again,   “   your eyes, they’re like a vampires. did you know that? i always found that deep red color to be rather beautiful but it makes me curious if your durability extends to that part as well.   ”   an intense light flashed on overhead and blinded love immediately and the last thing they heard before slipping into an explosion of indescribable pain was cato’s casual warning,   “   try not to blink.   ”

#writing #d

[parklove]

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 :          a writing and archive blog for my original character, love park !   content here will include original posts dealing with headcanons, worldbuilding and self-paras regarding my character’s canon for development purposes.   please do not use or reblog any posts from here without expressed permission.

NOTE:          this is a sideblog, which means i will not be able to follow from here.   please ask if you would like to write together on love’s main blog !

#hello from halo !