pajarito-eating

[pajarito-eating]

No Thanksgiving. Great right? Wrong. I feel terrible but in a different way.

My sisters and I all have BFs. Last year before my oldest sister reunited with her ex, she held a small Thanksgiving with my brother and I. My brother also has ARFID but has a much wider pallet than I do. But now my brother is down in flordia with my parents with my 2 other sisters in the home state. My eldest said that it looks like we are all on our own for Thanksgiving this year. At first I'm happy because thank God no expectation...but I'm sad because I enjoyed the other parts if Thanksgiving. I enjoy watching the TV Parade together and then a movie right after. Taking a walk during fall ad a fanily, you know?

Idk. I feel like she thinks it's not worth it to gather for Thanksgiving because I can't eat. My sisters live 2 hours away from me, yet its been forever since I've seen them. I'm not high maintenance. If anything, my perfect Thanksgiving would be no huge dinner. Just some pizza and an anime or movie to watch together. But the fact that we're not planning a Thanksgiving meet up makes me feel like I'm not worth it because i can't eat

#arfid #actually arfid

[pajarito-eating]

Mine is also subway... which was really funny when subway became my first ever job. I didn't last too long because I, someone with arfid, couldnt tell the difference between all the different types of cheeses and meats. 😂

I honestly only worked there because I was like, 19 or 20 and still never worked a job outside of babysitting and i was insecure about that and nobody else was hiring. I more did it for my resume.

The only think I really eat from subway are like, the chips or cookies.

Out of curiosity, do any of y'all have an unsafe-resturaunt (fast food, chains, etc) that's really popular but you just can't eat from there

For me, it's Subway. I mean it looks good, smells good... but I just can't eat it. The pieces of chicken are too big, or the sauce has chunks in it, its just a nightmare

[pajarito-eating]

I have a rare eating disorder that makes eating food very very difficult. I've always had this ED all of my life, ever since i was a toddler. I hate EATING at restaurants but I love BEING in restaurants because there is so much to gain from a social standpoint. That being said when I said I don't want to eat something, I CANNOT eat something. There is no "oh but try it! You might like it" here. I WILL have a panic attack and have had panic attacks before, which has lead to health risk including uncontrollable vomiting.

Many people attempt to find their own ways to accommodate me while not listening to me and end up putting me on the spot in really traumatic situations. I rather folks not point out how different my eating habits are and be respectful when I don't want to answer questions, because I don't want to nor should I be forced to explain my eating disorder because you are not entitled to know.

hello

this is a non-friendly reminder that if someone says, “i can’t eat [food/spice/seasoning],” it’s not a challenge. if you cannot/will not accomodate that (which is fine! i, and everyone else i know with a food allergy/intolerance, have no problem bringing our own food or just waiting), then just say it. i just saw a post about how someone’s dad has an allergy to black pepper, was told for their family thanksgiving “oh yeah we won’t use it,” and now has been violently ill for multiple days bc they did it anyway thinking he wouldn’t notice.

that’s not cute.

that’s not okay.

and yes! people can be intolerant/allergic to spices and seasonings! me saying, “hey, i can’t have onion/garlic/any pepper-based spice hotter than standard paprika (and sometimes not even that)” is not an invitation to go “sure okay” and then “sneak” it in to “teach” me. i’m actually a really good cook and used to fucking LOVE spicy food. i physically cannot eat it anymore. it’s not a matter of “oh she just doesn’t know better.” it’s a matter of “eating this will put my health at risk.” like i will absolutely bring my own food. i’ve done that before. i don’t mind doing that bc i know that cooking for my needs is a pain (i have to do it all the time, after all). but saying “sure okay!” and then putting it in there anyway does absolutely nothing but set me up to be in severe pain for several days unable to keep food and water down.

people have taken me saying, “i can’t eat [food i’m intolerant to]” as me expressing a preference (which on its own should be fine anyway), when no. yeah they’re weird foods to be unable to eat. i’m aware of that. but bodies are weird as fuck. just because something is a rarer intolerance doesn’t mean that someone is faking it. i’ve seen MULTIPLE tiktoks of people “sneaking” seasoning into something when no one is looking, and that’s fine! i don’t care about jokes! but if someone hasn’t added something, check before you do bc you don’t know WHY it’s not in there.

and if you didn’t know better/never thought of that, that’s fine! but now you know!

yes, it’s annoying to have to think about someone’s dietary needs. no one knows that more than the person WITH the dietary needs. and, once again, we can bring our own food! that’s totally fine!

but don’t try to do a bait and switch when someone has said that they can’t eat something. at best, you’re making something they just don’t like. at worst, you could be setting them up for a severe reaction or illness.

#ed

[pajarito-eating]

panicked fruit.

#bruh i gotta eating disorder what do you mean last thing i ate? #malnutrition icecream

[pajarito-eating]

Dude I wish I were faking my disorders, do you know how annoying it is to live like this? Lmao.

[pajarito-eating]

I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that 30+ brands of nutrition drinks including but not limited to Ensure, Pediasure, Glucerna, Oatly, and Premier Protein just got recalled for possible contamination with the bacteria that causes botulism, a paralytic toxin with a lethal dose of 1.3 nanograms. If you've purchased one of the affected lot numbers please return it to the store to be properly disposed of as a biohazard but do not accept any compensatory gift cards because that can be counted as a settlement if you need to file a lawsuit over for any potential damages caused by this later on. If you have any questions regarding the recall there's a phone number listed in the article above that you can call, but if you believe you may have ingested toxins then please call your local poison control line. Stay safe

[pajarito-eating]

there’s a special kind of grief you feel towards yourself when you’ve been mentally ill for as long as you remember. you see ppl saying they long to return to their old self but you don’t have an old self, or if there was, you can’t remember it. ur “old self” was a child. this self is all you’ve ever known. then there’s the fear that comes with trying to find out who you are without your mental illnesses, it’s all new to you and you don’t know if you’ll like who you’ll be

#ive have an eating disorder ever since i was a toddler #i dont remember how its like to eat food

[pajarito-eating]

nothing will remind you that eating is good and okay like fantasy books will. “and that night in the valley they brought out the best plum cake and sweet cream, trout and turnips roasted over the fire, mead and goatsmilk and fresh cold water from the spring-“ and it’s like yeah dude you’re absolutely right. then sometimes it’s like “as he slept that night in the woods, he sorely missed the valley, where they brought out the best plum cake-“ and it’s like man that sucks i’ll have some seconds in his honor

[pajarito-eating]

[pajarito-eating]

arfid culture is eating alone and not wanting anyone to make your eating experience more stressful, but people think you’re being withdrawn/distant :(

Yeah I know that feeling ... I still try to eat with others when I can but when it's too stressful I do leave the situation.

-Mod Eria

#me at the company luncheon

[pajarito-eating]

#me trying to climb out of my ed #i hope miku is proud

[pajarito-eating]

hey man i haven’t seen a single similar post (concerning???) so i feel like it’s important to make this.

tomorrow is ramadan. your eating disorder will not magically disappear in ramadan.

allah will not hate you if you relapse in ramadan. be it that you faint or you binge, if you need to break your fast because of your eating disorder THEN YOU BREAK YOUR FAST.

You are not supposed to fast when you are sick. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FAST WHEN YOU ARE SICK. IT IS HARAM TO FAST IF YOU ARE SICK BECAUSE IT BRINGS HARM TO YOUR BODY. If you start feeling horribly sick and you know, you haven’t had sufficient suhoor or iftar for a few days or anything of the sort, it is okay to break your fast and even go to the hospital if you need to.

habaybi that have eating disorders, PLEASE take care of yourself during ramadan. It is a month of cleansing and forgiveness, so forgive yourself if you relapse. You can always redo your fast after ramadan.

Jazakallah please reblog this post and ramadan mubarak to you all! ♡

#ed

[pajarito-eating]

I think I have dyslexia? I hate to admit it. Makes me loose self confidence in myself

[pajarito-eating]

Why am I like this?

[pajarito-eating]

I hate men!!!!! I hate men so much!!!!

#mainly cis men #i havent met a transman i hated yet #yet #but holy shit do i hate men!!!! #i call them my friends and then they give me little respect #3 of my cis male friends accused me for it being my fault that men try to trick me into dates #and 1 cant take no for an answer and is offended that i got mad when he tried asking details about my sister he never met so he could try #and flirt with her #i hate men so much #i can count the number of my male friends that hasnt insulted me on one hand #all of then are coincidentally cis

[pajarito-eating]

god i just want to leave this dnd session and have a good cry. im not doing ok fam. but 2 people already left early

#vent #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[pajarito-eating]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i have no idea if my friends actually like me or secretly believe im brain dead and hate me and the stress about this is legit killing me

the people im comfortable with in a friend group are really close to the guy who stresses me the fuck out and im too scared to talk to them about it because im afraid they will turn on me 

/vent

#not ed #vent