Who you gonna call? āš
(Special guest appearances by @zlarirosa and @pleasehealmywoundedheart)
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My second entry for the H/D FAN FAIR 2020!!
For the Prompt by Skifazoa:Ā Dracoās nervously perusing a sex shop for the first time when he sees a flash of dark hair across the store. Heād know it anywhere, but why is Potter here? And what on earth is in that box heās buying? Years of uptight parenting from his parents have left him woefully lacking in knowledge about his newfound interests. Potterās always been rather uncaring of public opinion, perhaps he could be the one to help Draco figure it all outā¦
[A less censured version here on Ao3]Ā
[Extras under the cut]
Keep reading
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not animated version is on DA ā part 1 ā part 3 in plans?
song: The Take Down by Dabin&Koda
Ahh I couldnāt finish last four lines, bc I got a little bit sickā¦ However, theyāll be a different story line and Iāll post them as a part three (omg I thought it would be only two parts, but shit happens) I just couldnāt wait to post this part Ā because thereās a lot of panels I like so much <3
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dune is so funny it literally opens like
CHAPTER 1
āIt sucks that I understand Time Cube and as such cannot avoid becoming a genocidal dictator,ā young Paul Atreides said to himself. āFor me. Moral complexity is such a burden.ā
CHAPTER 2
āHeard any good slurs for poor people lately?ā asked the Baron Harkonnen homosexually, knocking back another shot of orphan tears.
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gryffindorās quartet vs slytherinās quartet
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I just started to listen to a bad book podcast discuss The Rules, the 90s romance self help guide about how women should play hard to get with men to the point of absurdity, and I realized- this is courtly love. This is the semi-parodic fictional ideal in action. Don't say thank you for any rescues unless he crawled over a sword bridge, or he'll think you're an unfeminine slut who gives it up to anyone riding a cart!
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Some of you don't have firm principles that transcend ideology, and it shows.
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[writes about Jesus but itās actually about being trans] [writes about being trans but itās actually about Jesus]
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youāre in a cult with a beautiful boy, and youāre trying not to tell him that you love him, and youāre trying to choke down the feeling, and youāre trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like youāve discovered something you didnāt even have a name for,
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if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.
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can i offer you a drawing of drarry cuddling in this trying time?
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After seeing about 50 'Dumbledore is evil' and 'everything is Dumbledore's fault' and 'but why didn't Dumbledore did this or the other' posts in a row, I find myself wishing Dumbledore just fucked off to somewhere nice and sunny in '81, early retirement (or is it early if he's already 100?) and washed his hands off magical Britain entirely.
Some of y'all sound like Fudge with your Dumbledore bashing. I wish, at least, Dumbledore would have left when Fudge and that corrupt as hell Ministry did their best to ruin his name and his image.
Pack up his ancient shit and move to a nice beach somewhere, with his pet bird and a huge bag of candy.
This way, my man Voldemort could have won in like five minutes, and Harry would be dead, Voldemort would rule supreme, Bella would keep being the queen she is, and my little Voldemort shaped heart would be happy.
But no, Dumbledore stayed, orchestrated Voldemort's downfall by giving Harry step by step instructions, gave up his own life in the process, made sure Harry would keep his, because apparently that's what 'evil men' do instead of retiring in comfort.
Not only Harry wouldn't have survived without Dumbledore, but he most likely wouldn't even exist without Dumbledore. Because, you know, this evil man is also the one that took down another dark lord back in the day; if Grindelwald would have won, there would be no Lily, most likely. Thus no Harry.
But yes, go get your 'Dumbledore is evil' badges- I hear Fudge and Umbridge are leaders of the hate club, I'm sure they'll receive new followers with open arms. Draco is probably the secretary, because he hates Dumbledore, too, and he likes making badges.
Also, can someone explain to me how Dumbledore, the only gay man in canon, became the fandom's resident homophobe? That's just weird, my friends. Very weird, to say the least. It gets even nastier when you say he 'groomed' students. That's an awful thing to throw around about a gay dude, you know?
There are so many reasons one can dislike Dumbledore for, but you do have the option to not like a flawed character without turning them into a ridiculous caricature of themselves.
P.S: I am not talking about fics. Write your fics and your characters however you want, whatever makes you happy. Your fic is your domain, and you do whatever you want in there, hopefully with no asshole to attack you in the comments. Same with reading- read what you want, bashing or no bashing. Have the best of fun!
I am talking about these 'meta' type posts on social media, tagged with "Albus Dumbledore", where they act as if canon Dumbledore was legit evil, incompetent or homophobic.
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The Script
Dracoās favor belongs to whomever will reward him.
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wherever, as long as it's with you
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