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i wish, i wish
i wish, i wish
i wish I can i wish I had
i wish I did i wish I will
i wish I could i wish I would
I can, I will
I have, I did.
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Remember: Resting isn’t transactional.
You don’t need to do anything special or extra difficult to deserve a break.
You don’t need to reach a certain goalpost of suffering and exhaustion before you’re allowed time off.
Resting for a day doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to work twice as hard the next day.
Humans need variety. Humans need quiet time. Humans need time to “shut off”, whatever that looks like for them.
You’re allowed to be human. You’re allowed a break. Don’t burn yourself out, okay?
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Thanks a lot for making this account!
omg THANK YOU! I’m glad that this account can be a good resource for people who need it 💖
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Thank you the feedback everyone! A few people pointed out that I used “she/her” when discussing inner children. This post has now been updated to reflect “they/them”
Ways to connect with your inner child
Growing up in a dysfunctional family typically means that children grow up, mentally and emotionally, a lot faster. Oftentimes, we become the only adult in the family. We grow up quickly in an attempt to protect ourselves and to survive. The loss of your childhood and your innocence at a young age is deeply painful and traumatic. Connecting with your inner child can help you heal from your childhood wounds.
- Do an activity your younger self enjoyed:- this can look like, building forts, or reading fantasy novels, or doodling, or doing puzzles. For myself, it is dancing to 00's music and watching my childhood tv shows. It feels silly at first, but eventually, you start to feel like a kid again, even for a short amount of time. The goal here is to let go of judgement and fear and simply create/explore.
- Cooking a childhood favourite meal. For me, it is Maggi, an Indian version of ramen. Even just the smell makes me excited like a little kid.
- Write yourself a letter. You'll be surprised at what comes out. Reassure your younger self that they are safe and that you fought and will continue to fight for them.
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OH MY GOODNESS YES!!!!
“Three things are striking about inner child work: the speed with which people change when they do this work; the depth of that change; and the power and creativity that result when wounds from the past are healed.”
Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw
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Behold. Your most powerful allies!
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Okay, I'm obsessed with these drawings!!!
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Set ‘em, don’t forget ‘em.
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Why I moved out (s.b)
This an entry shared by a friend of mine. To respect his privacy, I am using initials instead of his name.
"I've lived with my parents for 25 years. For as long as I've known, my parents have always been bad with money; specifically my mom. It's not like my family doesn't have money, but it's just been very poorly handled. Most days, our fridge was empty but my mom always had money to purchase fancy clothes. We routinely got evicted because my mom would spend rent money on other stuff, all the while telling my dad that rent was paid for. Once, she purchased a Mercedes for herself, stopped paying for the family SUV. We found out when it got repossessed by the city.
When I was signing up for OSAP, she linked her accounts for the money to be wired into and used my additional OSAP funds on herself. When I started working at Starbucks, I would be the one to buy groceries and cook for myself and my siblings because no one else did. And still, she would complain about how I am not contributing enough to the household.
Things finally came to a head when I found that she had taken out a loan in my name and didn't pay it back. I spent days trying to figure out what happened and had been talking to my mom about my credit score unexpectedly being down. It wasn't until the bank teller told me that the loan was taken out behind my back by my mother.
I confronted her about it and she denied it. When I showed her proof, she started making excuses and got mad at me for being upset about the situation. That night I found yet another eviction notice for our current place. Fed up, I started looking for places and told her that I was moving out. She told me that I was being disrespectful and ungrateful, and we haven't spoken since. Moving out by myself has been the hardest thing I've done, but it's also the best."
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Ways to connect with your inner child
Growing up in a dysfunctional family typically means that children grow up, mentally and emotionally, a lot faster. Oftentimes, we become the only adult in the family. We grow up quickly in an attempt to protect ourselves and to survive. The loss of your childhood and your innocence at a young age is deeply painful and traumatic. Connecting with your inner child can help you heal from your childhood wounds.
- Do an activity your younger self enjoyed:- this can look like, building forts, or reading fantasy novels, or doodling, or doing puzzles. For myself, it is dancing to 00's music and watching my childhood tv shows. It feels silly at first, but eventually, you start to feel like a kid again, even for a short amount of time. The goal here is to let go of judgement and fear and simply create/explore.
- Cooking a childhood favourite meal. For me, it is Maggi, an Indian version of ramen. Even just the smell makes me excited like a little kid.
- Write yourself a letter. You'll be surprised at what comes out. Reassure your younger self that they are safe and that you fought and will continue to fight for them.
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Ways to "do the work"
To "do the work" simply means learning, healing, and understanding your trauma so that you can be a better, more healed version of yourself.
- Sit with your emotions. Sit in the uncomfortable of them. Try not to run or use escapism tactics such as alcohol, tv, or food. Acknowledge the emotion. Label it and pay attention to what it's trying to tell you. When you acknowledge your emotions and sit with them, you don't give them as much power over you. If you often feel like your emotions overwhelm and control you, this is a great way to work on that.
- Journal. As a perfectionist, I hated writing. I would fuss over every word, sentence structure, my handwriting, the writing tool, just everything. I wanted everything to be perfect. Eventually, I just stopped. But recently, I came across a journalling idea for beginners. Do a brain dump on paper 10 mins a day. I start writing out literally everything that was on my mind. Even if it was me thinking about my writing. I set a goal to write for 10 mins every day. It worked really well. I finally had a place to put my thoughts instead of letting them loom over me. I was able to finally recognize the reoccurring stressors that I thought about every single day and didn't even realize them until I noticed myself writing them down every day.
I never read back what I wrote. I was worried that I would judge myself and then stop writing. I wouldn't be able to read much of it anyway. It is mostly a bunch of scribbled, wavy lines by minute 3.
- Read self-help books.
- If you are able to, go to therapy. Enough said. Easier said than done. But seriously, therapy will change your life.
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Choose you :)
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errry fckn day
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“It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle“ by Mark Wolynn
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This show is literally one of my favorite things in the world!!! Highly recommend!
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:( What happened to Todd when he was a kid? 
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Me, age 13, the day before my final exams
Me pretending my parents aren’t fighting again:
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