Shit heard in Ghost Stories meme
"When this bitch kicks, I'm moving to Vegas."
"Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?"
"I don't care about your cat, he's probably dead."
"Principals always look like lesbians."
"When a stronger spirit appears, the weaker spirit cowers. But all evil spirits cower before Jesus!"
"Oh my, what a gifted seamstress. I hope you're not a homosexual."
"If you want something to happen, you just need to pray! And not be a Muslim. Or Jewish."
"What the fizzityuck was that?"
"Where's the damn cat?"
"These pajamas are gay."
"Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you come to the scary, isolated pay phone on the bad side of town, alone?"
"Maybe you have a hidden talent you don't know about! Like Paris Hilton being an actress! Oh, scratch that."
"THINK OF A BIG BLACK MAN CHASING YOU!"
"A car accident... must have been hit by an old Chinamen. I don't mean to be racist, but those people CANNOT drive."
"You'd be surprised just how many transgressions a filthy little sinner like you can rack up in just a day."
"Look, a little Jew boy."
"Come rub my nipples."
"Drop the Krispy Kreme, Serpiko! We need your help here!"
"My BS detector is going DING!"
"I can read. Not well, but I can read. And those letters... are BACKWARDS!"
"The weird part is, I'm not even high. Not a bit. Totally sober!"
"The internet was a blessing from the Lord Jesus to spread the word of God throughout the world, but then Muslims and pedophiles stole it and used it to lure out and seduce children like you."
"Hey, want some candy little boy?"
"You can use it if you promise not to be on the phone too long. I know how you Pagans take advantage of others."
"A bunch of somber, quiet people against a red nuclear sky near a river of blood. Wow, that doesn't look threatening at all."
"Why? Because Jewish people rock!"
"That's so sweet... in a 'you scare the crap out of me in an Emily Rose' kind of way!"
"Here, you can take pooky-poo. He used to be my man, but we broke up."
"The V on my sweater stands for 'Very Big Deal', but that's beside the point."
"Come on, jump... I SAID JUMP!"
"Yes, the animal cemetery. Hear the plot point bells going off?"
"I hope Stephen King never sees this."
"She's looking straight at us, I don't think we hid very well."
"Those 3 to 4 cardboard boxes aren't going to hold them for long!"
"Lord reveal your salvation, for I am your favorite among these heathens."
"Yo sensei Dave, what's haps on the snaps with the craps?"
"You two-timing son of a bitch! Who's gonna take care of these little bastards!?"
"Oh splinter ohhhhh!"
"Shut up. You're here, and you're an idiot."
"Years ago, people went in there but they didn't come out. Not unlike your sister."
"2.2 Celsius... Metric system. Who thought this was a good idea again? I'm just gonna put 100. No one's gonna know."
"Oh perfect, it's in Japanese. Ching chong nong ding tow! Wait, that's Chinese."
"God, can you go bomb an abortion clinic or something?"
"Creepy Japanese men can be cabbies too y'know. But women should never be allowed to drive."
"Obeying horror movie rules, I'm going to go out alone. You stay here while I go look for help."
"I'm not giving you a reach around."
"You're such a bitch."
"First we do a geographic montage to show we traveled a long way from your house. There, that should be enough."
"I'm gonna beat you retarded."
"Jesus saved my ass."
"And what a lovely little ass it is, too."
"¡NO CORRAN EN EL HOSPITAL, CABRONES!"
"Now that is some really nice animation."
"Nice rack. Mind if I make 'em a little bigger? Ahahaehehahhha boobies. Loooove boobies. Nice lips too. I USED TO HAVE LIPS!"
"Let's see... purple, for your hair. Can't tell this was a goddamn anime."
"Okay. Stop trying to look up my skirt. IT'S A CARTOON!"
"Holy time machine, Batman, it's 1973!"
"Holy pre-Parkinson's Michael J Fox Christopher Lloyd Back To The Future plot ripoff device! Where's my DeLorean?"
"I'll grab her ass!"
"Oh damn anime, look what's happened to my eyes."
"Leo! Leo! Leo! Leo! Goddamnit! Goddamnit! Goddamnit! Goddamnit!"
"It's the chick from The Ring! I mean, The Grudge! What movie are we ripping off again?"
"Oh my god, did that spell work? You know, like the one where you write your name in an eraser? I hear the head cheerleader's having an abortion."
"Such a bitch! Stop being such a friggin' skank and give it back!"
"Sometimes yes means no!"
"Moshi moshi! I mean, hello."
"Tomomi? Ain't no Tomomi girl living here, so what?"
"Get your cracker ass into some rehab, I ain't got time for this bullshit."
"Run! She's a ghost and a bitch!"
"I'm goin' fuckin' crazy."
"HEY! Maybe if they paid their fuckin' phone bill, you could call again!"
"Nobody's talking to you. Just drive the bus, bus driver. Fuckin' nosy."
"Oh, sorry. All you little yellow people look alike to me. And African Americans, but not the Mexicans. Why do you think that is? I mean, don't you find that just the weirdest thing?"
"Romans 1:26, God gave them over to shameful lusts!"
"A view of the blood-stained lake. AHHHHHHH"
"Oh it may be blue now, but soon it will be redder than Republican Texas."
"No, I'm serious, bitch. I swear to god. Blue."
"Maybe this vase isn't nailed down."
"We go with the snow but not the snow that is yellow!"
"Alright everybody, it's 4:30. School is finally over. Time to go home, load up that bong, and watch Pokemon!"
"Leave me alone, I'm doing my standard anime 'elbows up' pose."
"Oh wow. I can't even comprehend how inappropriate this is."
"GOD YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK."
"God you are four of the ugliest fucking kids I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on. I can't wait for this bitch to kill you."
"Oh my, definitely a 10."
"If you do, I'll suck you all for a Scooby Snack."
"Any closer and there'd be insertion."
"I may be a successful doctor, but first and foremost I'm a Jew."
"You know what I hear? I hear the sound of you shuttin' the fuck up."
"Let's see... 7?"
"What the FUCK are you talking about!?"
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Shit said on The Amanda Show
A variety of things said on The Amanda Show over the years. Send one in for my muse’s reaction to yours saying that to them!
“Don’t trust the Germans!”
“I think the Russians ate the moon!“
“No! Oh, please don't damage me! I'm just starting puberty! It's going to be a whole new world!“
“Am I in...China?“
“Well, then I'll have to confiscate your dress!“
“Well, then you're going in a leopard cage!“
“Court dismissed! Bring in the Dancing Lobsters!“
“You can't give a kid detention just because YOU'RE UNATTRACTIVE!“
“One more interruption and I'll glue something to your butt!“
“I like eggs!“
“If my name was Elizabeth, it'd be Elizabeth!“
“You'd better check the date on your brain, because I think it expired!“
“I have no use for the metric system!“
“I contain 10% real fruit juice!“
“I'm gonna hit you in the head with a rag doll!“
"Yummy, yummy, yummy, stick a straw in my tummy!"
“Hey, don't look at her hairy mole, look at me."
“This movie better! MUCH BETTER!“
“You have the wrong number!!“
“Hey! Glass tastes like blood!“
“Is anything wrong?”
“Is anything right?”
"Why'd you have to disappear in that hot air balloon?"
"I'll never find anyone who can understand my tortured teenage soul."
“Find his toe!”
"Just because a cat has kittens in the oven doesn't make them biscuits."
“Not a problem!”
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