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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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when I was in college (I am currently in college), I used to eat raw lemons (I am eating a raw lemon)
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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the thing about working as a housekeeper is that sometimes I will be called to clean a room that is in such a state that it gives me pause.
The thing about being a housekeeper at a Hospital is that it is not the things that would usually be concerning that leave me with questions.
Like if I go clean a room and it is just covered in blood, I'm not all "where did all this blood come from" that would be silly. It came from inside the patient and they were already in a hospital so they're probably mostly fine hopefully.
In fact "Inside the patient" is where most of the potentially concerning stuff I have to deal with comes from. Vomit? That's from inside the patient. Urine? Feces? Inside the patient baby. Needles full of unidentified drugs? That was supposed to go inside the patient but I guess they frogot.
But when I go to clean a hospital room and it is full of Sand... Did that come from inside the patient? I hope not. Why is there so much sand? Where did it come from? Was there some kind of terrible beach accident?
I have many questions and I'm scared of the answers.
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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I think the historical treatment of left handed people is objectively the funniest form of bigotry mankind has ever displayed
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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We stan JiaHao😭
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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growing up by the sea really makes you understand why sailors were Like That back in the day. yeah the sea is the love of my life and i'm nothing to her but my heart belongs to her and her alone. she's a cruel, uncaring temptress and she wants to steal me away and eat me alive but to die in her cold, dark abyssal embrace would be such a wonderful way to die.
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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you guys know that scene in Bad Moms where the main characters realize that they will never be able to preform to the unrealistically high standards that society and their peers hold them too. so they get drunk and go to a supermarket and I Love It by Icona Pop and Charli XCX is playing in the background... yeah
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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The chili plant made a deal with their God to only be consumed by things that could spread its seeds and fly. The chili received capsaicin, making itself painful to eat for mammals, but not birds, and all was well for the chili.
Then the human shows up, tastes it, and likes the pain. So now there's this flightless fucking mammal eating the chili. Like not even a fruit bat or anything, a flightless fucking mammal chomping on the chili.
What the fucking shit, God, cried the chili, I specifically requested the opposite of this.
Now hold on, wait a moment, replied the God who talks to plants but has no idea what the fuck these apes are going to do next. It might be something cool.
And in a flash of a second, in barely fraction of the time that chili took to develop capsaicin, the humans went from walking across land bridges and rowing little boats across small waters, into building ships that could cross oceans. More humans tasted the chili, and liked the pain. They took the seeds with them, and planted it elsewhere.
See? They spread the seeds.
They're still not flying, said the chili, still feeling insulted and betrayed.
But before the conversation was over, the humans were still not done fucking around and nowhere close to finding out. The ships became machines, and another machine was invented, capable of flight. Now, not only were the humans farming chili on continents far too far away for any of the birds that originally ate it could dream of flying, but the chili flew with them to lands where it could possibly not grow, so that humans over there could also eat it and enjoy the pain.
You see? They spread your seeds and fly.
It doesn't count as keeping a promise if you only manage it by a fucking accident, said the chili, still somewhat insulted. But nonetheless, the chili thrived.
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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It’s so fucked up how tiktok culture has made clout-poisoned people turn the public into content, every day I see people minding their business have their entire faces put online for thousands of likes, a couple kissing on the train, a lady dancing across a cross walk, a guy nodding his head to the music at a club, a lady buying a banana at the store, ring camera footage of the neighbors kids being stupid. Just let people live jfc
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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I only got one spambot last night
this is progress
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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bebe
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I am celebrating my BIRTHDAY and here is my WISHLIST!
5 dollars, i would like 5 dollars (paypal / kofi)
$2+ ko-fi subscribers! (to help me build monthly income, you are my bread my butter and my cheese)
$10+ = a lovely restaurant meal
$30 = one day’s rent
grinch x tony the tiger original fanart because it causes psychic distress and i thrive on that!
i would absolutely love if someone could find a photo of a featherless flamingo bc i've looked but all i could find was this photoshopped raptor chicken
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mysexualityis-idk · 1 year
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y'all it is 2am what am i doing watching videos on how to give yourselves stitches/sutures? i am currently uninjured
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