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mypunkpansexualtwin · 3 seconds
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Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 55 minutes
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what's the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? don't try and be all edgy and cool and say like tetsuo: the iron man. be honest.
Go!!
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 57 minutes
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Number of Goblins, ranked
One Goblin - That's just a goblin. He's probably just getting his groceries or something. Leave him alone, you asshole.
Ten Goblins -- That's a fairly normal amount of goblins. There's generally around ten goblins in any given situations. They're just here for aesthetic, so you know it's a fantasy world. Remember to tip them when you leave.
One Hundred Goblins -- Ok this is too many goblins, but this is a reasonable amount of too many goblins. Like, this is maybe an army of goblins or something? My point is that they're probably here for a good reason. Best not to mess with them, they're likely load-bearing in some way.
One Thousand Goblins -- This is probably a goblin town, in which case this is really more a case of One Human, which is a completely different list only available on goblintube. If not, all these goblins are lost. Return them to the goblin town. The orcs are worried.
One Million Goblins -- A million goblins? I'm not sure I've even seen a million things in my life , and now there's a million goblins? That's, like, all the goblins. Why are you at a convention of all the goblins? Are you a goblin? Actually, no, that would make sense. Yeah, that's probably what's going on here. Sorry you had to find out this way.
One Billion Goblins -- Ok, look, at this point you have clearly been sent to a future time where humanity is extinct and goblins have inherited the earth. I can think of no other explanation for a billion goblins. This sadly means that you're the weirdo, and you have to go be a cryptid now. At least you can find a phone and read the goblin creepypastas about you.
One Trillion Goblins -- How? What is happening? This is more goblins then there are birds, and they'll all in your house? How is your house this big? Wait, forget the goblins, how is your house this big? Are the goblins here to guillotine you? Probably! Move out of your stupid mansion and let the goblins have it, you weird rich bird-hoarding freak.
One Quadrillion Goblins -- One quadrillion? I'm only like 80% sure that's even a real number! Luckily, you won't have to deal with a quadrillion goblins for long, because soon they'll collapse together under their gravity, forming a far more manageable single planet-sized goblin. Picard's not gonna be happy about this one!
More Goblins -- Fuck off, you do not have more then a quadrillion goblins. Why are you lying? Are you worried I won't like you if you don't claim to have an implausible number of goblins? Don't worry. Your worth is not dependent on your goblin numbers. Go back to the actual number of goblins secure in the fact I love you, no matter how few goblins you have <3
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 59 minutes
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Tracklist:
I Was Just a Kid • Amsterdam • Sorry • Broken Machine • Live Like Animals • Soda • I'm Not Made by Design • Particles • Get Better • Hell, Yeah • Afterlife
Spotify ♪ YouTube
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 5 hours
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I wonder how all the "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body" girls turned out...
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 5 hours
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 5 hours
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A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches. 
"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!"
"Really?"
"Yes! A leopard! In England!" The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was if course much faster than me."
The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left."
"Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly.
"What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.
"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."
"That's nice "
"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms."
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 5 hours
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This is genius. Off to search the kitchen for new character names.
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 5 hours
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you guys need to be normal about people who don't like penetration. people who don't get hard easily. people who finish quickly. people who participate in kink without having sex. people who don't like being touched. people who don't like giving head. people who only like penetration. people who (almost) always squirt. people who take a long time to cum. people who have a hard time getting wet. people who don't talk during sex or anything else that is not part of the way you think people or bodies should behave during sex
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 7 hours
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get this man in tekken….. STAT !!!!!
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 8 hours
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Never use Surfshark VPN
I just wanted to make this post to warn yall about it, I am not a tech genius but I wanted to get a vpn and surfshark was one I knew about so i subscribed to them because it seemed ok, that was where I fucked up.
fast forward a year and now I am trying to cancel my yearly auto-renewing subscription which costs 70 fuckin bucks, didnt find much use in surfshark as it was too laggy when using its vpn services so i go to billing and try to cancel.
there was no cancel button so that was odd, and you cant turn off auto-renew so i figure ill just get rid of my card info so it cant charge me.
i cant or at least i cant figure out how.
I go to help and find the cancellation area after scrolling past why you should keep the subscription and it tells me to contact their live support to cancel, It requires my name and gmail, I know for a fact my gmail is correct but it says its wrong and that my name is wrong no matter how many ways I enter it and I cant find a possible username anywhere on the site i could use. Its for all practical reasons impossible for me to cancel, not just the fact I cant even talk to customer support, but the people on reddit that do, talk to a bot and then the agents take months to actually turn off the subscription so it charges again and there is no refunds.
dont use surfshark VPN
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 13 hours
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i just feel strongly that work shouldnt be the Main Activity of five days out of the week
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 21 hours
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I went to the library to borrow some DVDs we're planning to watch, but when I handed the librarian my card, it took me a solid 15 seconds to register that I handed her my fucking weed card.
Me, fumbling to swap it out: "OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY, I was on total autopilot!!"
The librarian: "It's all good, I just assumed it was a flex."
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 21 hours
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shoutout to the slow artists. the artists with hardly any time for art. the artists who reach the end of the day with no energy for art. you got this i believe in you and you are no less valued than anyone else
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 21 hours
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William B. “Bill” Watterson II.
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 21 hours
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Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 21 hours
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one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress. 
part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.
and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.
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