mylittlemesseduphead

[mylittlemesseduphead]

You shouldn't have to sacrifice your physical health for your mental health or sacrifice your mental health for your physical health. You are allowed to be completely healthy and if a doctor wont listen to you about your health concerns then it is time for a second opinion. mental health meds can have some serious physical health impacts and even cause long term health conditions and you shouldn't have to put up with that just because it helps with your mental health.

#schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #mental health #mental illness #psychosis #schizophrenia #schizo spectrum #actually schizophrenic #schizospec

[mylittlemesseduphead]

#mental health #mental illness #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #psychosis #actually ocd #depression #anxitey #did #personality disorder #schizophrenic spectrum #ptsd

[mylittlemesseduphead]

For all my fellow ace spec/aro spec people who also have mental health issues this is a reminder that intrusive thoughts are not the same thing as attraction. Intrusive thoughts can make things very confusing but they are not a reflection of your true feelings and desires and just because you have an intrusive sexual thought about someone does not mean you are attracted to them.

#mental health #mental illness #actually ocd #asexual #aromantic #acespec #arospec

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Me not responding doesn’t mean you “won” the argument it means I am choosing to disengage for my own safety.

[mylittlemesseduphead]

I hate the heavy feeling you get when you are depressed. When all your limbs feel weak and heavy like someone pumped them full of lead and it is hard to move and all you want to do is curl up and cry somewhere dark and quiet. When your thoughts feel slow and you can feel yourself sinking into the void. When you try and speak but the words come out too slowly and end up slurring because it is too much effort to speak normally. When you feel exhausted but too sad to sleep so you just lay there listening to the same sad song on repeat. When it feels like you have already failed at life even though you know life doesn’t work that way. When you lay there heavy wishing to disappear because it hurts too much to stay but you are so weak and heavy that you can’t even get up to make yourself disappear.

#mental health #mental illness #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #actually ocd #depression #anxiety

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Having a psychotic illness is like living in 2 different worlds all the time only sometimes they merge and you can’t tell which bit belongs in which world. It is like the worlds are on each side of a thin line you are forced to walk down and sometimes you fall off the line and into one side or the other and spend some time there and see the sights but then it is back to the fine line to continue your journey never allowed to stay in either for too long and never fully accepted into either because your place is back on that thin line. It is like being held at a distance from everyone and everything because you don’t fit you are not like them in either world you can interact with them but you are never one of them.

#mental health #mental illness #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #psychosis #schizophrenia #mania #actually psychotic

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Being told you are treatment resistant is kind of crushing and relieving at the same time. On the one hand it explains why the meds don’t just magically make things go away but it is also exhausting to think you will have to live like this forever never fully being allowed to just exist in either world peacefully knowing it will always be some sort of fight.

#mental health #mental illness #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #psychosis #actually ocd #schizophrenia #actually psychotic

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Psychotic people deserve to have their experiences heard and validated just as much as anyone else does.

#mental health #mental illness #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #psychosis #actually psychotic #schizophrenia

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Mental illness and dumb are NOT synonymous people with mental illnesses can be highly intelligent but not all people with mental illnesses are super geniuses either. Just like neurotypical people, mentally ill people come in all shapes, sizes and levels of ability. Do not judge people by the stereotypes that plague their condition. 

#mental illness #mental health #actuallyocd #actuallybipolar #actually psychotic #psychosis #schizoaffective #depression #anxiety #eatingdisorders

[mylittlemesseduphead]

It is mental health month

lets hope this year people with things other than depression and anxiety are also included in the discussions. 

#mental health #mental illness #actually ocd #actuallybipolar #actually psychotic #psychosis #schizoaffective

[mylittlemesseduphead]

people really love to talk about how strong you are and how resilient you are instead of helping to make a world where you don’t have to be either of those things. 

#mental health #mental illness

[mylittlemesseduphead]

It is ok if you are tired and you need a break, if you are sad and need to cry, if you are hurting and need it to stop. You are important, you are loved, you are perfectly ok being yourself. This world is hard to live in and that isn’t your fault you are trying your best and that is the best you can do. You deserve support from others and you deserve to support yourself and your own dreams. If you are exhausted and weary you can take a break you don’t need permission survival is your right the world will still be here when you are ready to come back to it.

#mental health #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #actuallyocd #mental illness #psychosis #self reminders

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Being severely mentally ill in high school and not knowing what was going on can be kind of traumatic, some of the things I did and said when I was really manic or psychotic in particular were super embarrassing and those memories will haunt me forever. Also being a weird kid and not being able to explain why to your peers at a time when their opinions matter most to you is very isolating. Some of my behavior was very odd or off putting to friends and peers and I didn’t realize at the time and it really had an impact on my ability to make close friendships with them because who wants to hang around or be associated with the weird kid. But is was also draining on the ones that did put up with it and that damaged the friendships I did have. I can’t go back in time but not knowing what was going on and why I keep doing certain things and having certain experiences has left me with some scars.

#mental health #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #actuallyocd #mental illness #psychosis #depression #anxiety #schizophrenia #mania

[mylittlemesseduphead]

If you think your doctor isn’t listening to you, or is minimising your problems or is just a shit doctor, there is a good chance you are right. Doctors are humans too and sometimes they suck at their jobs. It is ALWAYS ok to get a second opinion. You don’t have to put up with shitty care just because they have a qualification.  

#medical care #doctors #mental health #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #actuallyocd

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Being physically restrained and forcibly medicated when you are psychotic is extremely scary and as someone who has had this happen on multiple occasions it is really hard to process afterwards. People don’t want to talk about it so you are often left to deal with it on your own which can be really hard. There needs to be safe spaces for people to talk about experiences like this, like people can talk about scary medical procedures, psychotic people deserve to be able to talk about their own experiences with scary treatments.

#mental health #mental illness #schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #psychosis #schizophrenia #schizo spectrum

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Reminder that if you are too scared to take your meds it is ok they aren’t going to hurt you and you don’t have to be ashamed.

#schizoaffective #actuallybipolar #psychosis #mental illness #mental health #actually ocd #schizophrenia #schizo spectrum

[mylittlemesseduphead]

It is happening again, things are looking.... off like something isn’t right. The voices keep whispering, the invisible bugs keep crawling all over me. Shadow people dart around and hide around corners, people don’t look like people, the spirits keep sending me messages about the important tasks I must complete for them. The devil and his army’s are constantly watching me chasing me creeping up behind me. Who can I even trust anymore, there is no one I can tell or go to not with this not with what is happening, not with everything. There is no one to comfort me when I want to scream no one to even hear me when I do. They made sure of that, the demons like me being alone of course they do why wouldn’t they. How long can I avoid giving in to their wishes, why am I still avoiding them at the point am I still too scared or am I just too tired. They have eyes and ears everywhere even inside my own head isn’t safe. There is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide I am once again trapped.