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If I die tomorrow, that is ok
Because I have lived
Many lives…
Some my own. Some that I don’t even remember anymore
I am not the person that I used to be, maybe better, surly no worse but definitely different
Cheers to today because tomorrow is not promised so I live in this moment
After I’m gone, I will live on in the memories of the ones that I have loved
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“The ultimate betrayal”
This is the end.
You pushed it too far.
I have always forgiven you in the past but this is unforgivable.
You are dead to me.
Please, go your way and I will go mine, we’ll see who looks back first 👀
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“Seeing”
Seeing you is like seeing a stranger.
I knew you once. Well.
I see you now and I know you no longer.
What are you doing here? What do I say?
You don’t exist in real life. Only in my memory, that may not even be real. You do not belong here, not now.
But here you are, standing in front of me breathing.
Oh how I would love to change that. To pay you back for the hurt you caused. The damage you did with no regret.
Instead, I’ll stand here and smile, say hello, because that is what a lady does.
Anyway, it’s ok, because karma always wins in the end.
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I used to write.
But I’ve gotten tired of thinking.
Thinking about the pain, the loneliness, the sadness.
Watching my world get smaller. Losing the people that I love.
I pray, please god bring me someone…
A friend
A family member
A lover
Someone real. Someone safe.
Someone to relief the pain of loss.
Until then… work, produce, help, plan.
Motivate myself and others.
Everything can change in a day. Maybe tomorrow is my day.
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In another world I am a dove.
Living my life with my twin soul.
Mates for life.
We go together, always.
Not knowing where one of us beings and the other ends.
That is why I must fly alone in this one.
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Let’s drive as far as we can
To the edge of the universe
Let’s drive until we can drive no further and start a new life there.
Let’s never look back, let’s never go back.
This is our life now.
The old one doesn’t suit us.
To begin again, knowing what we know so we can grow.
As of now I’m dying. I’m wilting away.
No longer in love, no longer passionately living.
No longer growing
I must get out before it’s too late
There must be better things ahead.
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Christmas in the biz
If you’re in the biz there is No Christmas.
You know who you are.
I know who you are.
You know who I am.
We are the “doers of the world”.
We are not the “enjoyers of the world “.
We give you inspiration.
We make you look good, when looking good is signing a check.
But alas, we know our role. This is not our life to enjoy but our life to “do”.
Please, let me be your inspiration.
Let me lay my life down for you to enjoy your own. My day will come.
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The motions of time.
The ebb & flow.
Life changes day to day. Some changes so big they’re like hitting a brick wall. Some so small that you don’t see them, even in motion. While others leave you wondering “is this real?” “Can I trust it?”
To be alive is to try. If you do not try you die, slowly each day.
Today I am dying so that tomorrow I may live.
Chose wisely, dream big. Failure is part of life. Failure is an option, it gives you the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Do not stay stuck, go ahead and fail because that is to be human.
The part that haunts us and the part that defines us.
Do not lose yourself in this life. It will change before you know it.
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Trust the process.
You will know.
Trust it to show you the truth. To see the light.
But once it shows you, you must believe.
To not believe is a sentence of pain. A recipe if you will… the dish - un-eatable.
People will show you who they are.
The love prospect. The friend. The mentor.
If it is true & it is real, you will know. Trust the process.
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Going for it
I’m going for it. People do it everyday.
Start a business, take a dream vacation, fall in love.
They go for it. Now it’s my turn. I’m no less deserving. I’m just as smart and just as talented.
It’s time to level up. Use what I’ve learned in the past. It’s time to put my present into the past.
But leveling up is hard. Grow, bend adjust and try not to snap.
Without leveling up you stay where you are. I can’t do that, I don’t want to do that.
Watch the whole world move on while I’m still here. Stuck in place when everything around me chances.
Forgot that, I’m going for it.
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I’m sitting in bed drinking my coffee, contemplating my whole life and how I got to this point. A feeling you only get after catering in December.
My whole body hurts, my mind’s ravaged.
Thinking “do I really need this job & life” and “what if I ran away” thankfully my brain will work it magic and I’ll forget this feeling by next year. Otherwise who would willingly do this to themselves?
My thoughts keep going back to the women before me, they did it for 20 years. By the end looking like a zombie.
Im so glad they’re free.
Someday I will be too.
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Time well spent
A life well lived
How do I know if that is me?
Does one ever know until it is over?
Until a group of loved ones stand around your ashes and decide if your life was one of value, if it was a life well lived.
Everyday we have the chance, a new opportunity. Do not waist it, it will be over in a flash.
Get up, show up, live.
Take a chance, dream big, figure it out.
Help others with what you have to offer, with your gift. Giving your time and energy adds value to your life.
Read, learn, listen, grow. Now is your chance, today is the day.
Tomorrow may never come. Do not waist today crying over your past mistakes, that is over, that is no longer you.
Choose today- Spend your time well.
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There is a time and there is a place
The two do not always connect.
This is not the time & this is not the place
Wait for it.
You will know when it is right.
Trust your gut, trust your intuition.
I have no real control, I do not get to decide my timeline.
I will wait for the universe to tell me, to show me the sign that cannot be ignored.
Until then I live in this place, on someone else’s time.
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Where am I ?
Where did I go?
I have lost myself.
I am gone.
Who is this person that I have become?
I have to find myself again.
Day after day, continually losing my way in this world, in my life.
It takes so much and gives so little in return.
The grind.
The standard.
The norm.
I am lost.
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The crazy within us
We’re all crazy
We’re all normal
If you’re like me, you’re normal
If I’m not like you, I’m crazy
Find your tribe they say
Find those like you and you’ll have peace
The mind has all the control
What it tells you is what you believe
Who gave it all the control?
The mind can shift, the mind can crack
Treat it well
Fill it with good
Fill it with love
Control your crazy, do not let it control you.
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Calling it
To Know the moment.
Once you know, you know.
I’m calling it...
Time of death-
In the relationship
In the friendship
In the job
So many ways
You can feel it, in your gut.
It’s over, it’s done, it’s time to call it.
But is it really over?
Or is it clearing a path for new?
The new may be better and it may be worse but at least you’re moving forward
You’re no longer stuck in a path of death.
T.O.D. - 9:23PM
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To be free
I dream of freedom
Of doing what I please
To fly high, away from here, and then of course to come back … Maybe
To do all the things one like me does when they are free
Free from everyday life
Free from the mundane, holding me back
Free of all that I must tend too
Free, even from the ones that I love
I long for a gust of wind to come along and blow me away to a place that I’m free
Higher than I’ve ever been
Without an anchor grounding me
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