monsterousarte

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me: man this red light is taking forever

the guy inside the traffic light that flips the light switches: i love you red light. i would never betray your for the green or yellow light

200 cars behind me: *honking*

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#underneath is the name of every worm that ever lived

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If you've ever been disappointed by dragonfruit, especially if you felt like it tasted like nothing, then I'm like 90% sure you had unripe dragonfruit, which tastes like nothing. There's a small window of time where it tastes amazing. You must have the patience of a hunter. Do not strike until your prey is at its most delicious

#is it bad i don't mind the unripe taste anyways... but i do love dragonfruit its nice to know now when its proper for eating :3 #ref

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someone rbing a post from me: #oh my goddd this is just like my ocs zapa and trunky

me on their blog now looking for pics of zapa and trunky:

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Destroy the myth that libraries are no longer relevant. If you use your library, please reblog.

#i love you printer i love you enforced quiet environment i love you books kissing kissing kissing

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#sister charles

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#vids

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This Friday's meme is: the perfect being

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Hellppp some transphobe found my posts about getting surgery and is yelling in my asks about how I mutilated my ‘perfect feminine body’ . I got my wisdom teeth removed.

#😭😭😭😭 #did you know... get 'the surgery' because your 'wisdom teeth impactsd'

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hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

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My problem is that I like collecting things and putting them on a little shelf

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you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

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love it when a nondog baby animal is called a pup anyway

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#morning shower for work #night shower the rest of the week

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can someone please send me that post abt washing your sheets "climb in my brothers"