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moistmailman · 5 hours
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10/28/2021
3 days of excess
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moistmailman · 5 hours
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2024 is soon which means... ttyd remake soon
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moistmailman · 1 day
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Twitch really looked at women doing soft core porn on their site and thought “wait, isn’t our site mostly full of underaged teenagers? Oh shit, we need to stop this!”
It took a few years but they finally managed.
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Miquella: You have finally arrived, Tarnished. Will you help me- wait, what the fuck?
Tarnished: *wearing Malenia’s helmet*
Miquella: What the fuck are you wearing?
Tarnished:……
Miquella: Where did you get that helmet?!
Tarnished: *starts sweating nervously*
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Pedro Pascal has reportedly finished his parts in the last of us season 2.
Kinda weird the protagonist on the show is already done with his scenes through. I wonder why that is……
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Here’s the short comic I made for @pichikui​’s Danny Phantom charity zine, GOING GHOST! She’s selling digital copies on her gumroad if anyone missed out! Profits are donated to RAICES 👻💀!!
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moistmailman · 2 days
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People are saying the reason the bridge collapsed in Baltimore was because of diversity hire and not because of a giant cargo ship crashing into it. Something that weighs over 200 tons.
Can you imagine if 9/11 happened today?
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moistmailman · 2 days
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Elden Ring supports gay rights by allowing a female tarnished to marry Ranni.
Elden Ring also supports gay wrongs for Mohg’s entire character.
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moistmailman · 3 days
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Pyrrha: *massaging Jaune’s shoulders* Remember, he called you yellow…!
Jaune: What?! *tears off his shirt, revealing rippling muscles and chiseled abs*
Nora: *massaging Ren’s shoulders* Remember, he called you pink!
Ren: He WHAT?! *tears off his shirt, revealing a three-piece suit*
JN_P: …
Ren: *tears off his suit, revealing rippling muscles and chiseled abs*
Jaune/Ren: *wrestle furiously*
Pyrrha/Nora: *clink their drinks together, watching their boyfriends wrestle without shirts* 😎
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moistmailman · 3 days
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Henchman: Sir, do you know how you always send a hitman to kill the hero?
Villain: Yes?
Henchman: But they always fail so you make sure that the hitman doesn’t talk by sending ANOTHER hitman to kill the original hitman before that could happen? Usually by them sniping him from a building?
Villain: Yes?
Henchman: Why don’t you.....you know? Just have the second hitman kill the hero when he’s interrogating the original hitman?
Villain:........holy shit, Richard. You just earned yourself a promotion.
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moistmailman · 4 days
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I don’t watch NASCAR but I love how they banned the confederate flag 3 years and some nobody driver that nobody has ever heard of announced that he’s retiring from NASCAR because of the news. NASCAR then made a tweet saying how they had to google his name to even know who he was 💀
Want to know what his name was? Ray Ciccarelli. Mf literally has racist in his name. It’s like if JK Rowling tried to make a character whose racist and this was the name she came up with.
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moistmailman · 4 days
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*Pyrrha and Jaune are making out on their bed, with Pyrrha straddling Jaune*
Pyrrha, unbuttoning his shirt: *giggling* We haven’t done this in a while.
Jaune, chuckling: Yeah, why don’t we do this more often? We really should be doing this everyday.
Pyrrha: Well lets make up for lost time then, shall we?
*Pyrrha starts to kiss Jaune’s neck as he begins to take off Pyrrha’s skirt before suddenly one of their scroll rings*
Jaune: Huh? Which one of our scrolls is that?
Pyrrha: It’s mine. *Grabs her scroll* It’s from your mother. She’s calling me.
Jaune: Her again? Look, just ignore it so we can get back to what we were doing.
Pyrrha: What? But that’s so rude though. Your mother is a nice woman.
Jaune: Yeah, I know that. But this is her third time calling us today, Pyr. All she is going to want is for us to put the scroll up to our babies so she can hear them giggle and stuff, but they’re sleeping right now. So let’s just ignore it and let me love you.
Pyrrha: But-
Jaune: You don’t need please my mother all the time, Pyr. I’m sure she’ll just think we’re sleeping.
Pyrrha:......okay, you’re right. *Put her scroll on the nightstand* now where were we ~
Jaune, chuckling: I believe you were kissing my neck just now.
Pyrrha, smirking: Ah Yes. How could I forget?
*Pyrrha starts to trail kisses up Jaune’s neck again, all while she looked at her scroll, which was still ringing*
Jaune: *Starts undoing her skirt again*
Pyrrha: *Giving weird and distracted kisses*
Jaune: Pyr? Is everything okay?
Pyrrha, still looking at the scroll while kissing: Hmm Hmm. Everything is perfect.
Jaune: Really? Cause you seemed distracted.
Pyrrha:.......
Jaune: Honey?
Pyrrha:..........*quickly grabs her scroll* I’m sorry honey, but I can’t ignore your mother. She’s so sweet. I don’t have the heart.
Jaune: Wait no Pyr, come o-
Pyrrha, answering her scroll: Hello Joan. How are you?
Jaune: *Face palms*
Pyrrha, in her scroll: I’m glad to hear that. I’m doing great too. Is there a reason why you’re calling me though?........O-oh well, the babies are currently asleep right now, so they cant really talk at the moment........you want cute pictures of them sleeping? Uh.......
*Pyrrha looks at Jaune, who was wording “No!” While shaking his head violently*
Pyrrha, awkwardly: Uh.........s-sure, I can do that. Just give me a minute.
Jaune: *Groans in his pillow*
Pyrrha, covering the scroll with her hand: *Whispering* I’m sorry, I can’t say no! I’m a people pleaser! It’s in my nature. Please don’t be upset with me. You know what you married into.
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moistmailman · 4 days
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Spider-Man 3’s plot makes no sense I swear
Harry: *finds out that Peter is spiderman*
Butler:……..
Harry: *Goes through many dangerous lengths to get stronger in the same way his father did, who actually died from it*
Butler:……..
Harry: *Tries to kill his best friend in a blind rage for a pursuit of false revenge*
Butler:……..
Harry: *gets severely injured while trying to kill his best friend causing him to get brain damage and lose his memories*
Butler:……..
Harry: *regains his memories before trying to kill his best friend once more, this time kidnapping an innocent woman*
Butler:……..
Harry: *confronts his best friend once again and fight for the final time, causing half of his face to get fucked up in the process*
Butler:……..
Harry: *is basically a broken man*
Butler, after watching Harry go through the most avoidable ordeal ever:……..you father  died by his own hands actually.
Harry: What the actual fuck?
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moistmailman · 4 days
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moistmailman · 5 days
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It’s also funny how when he get stuck in the corner he blames the game for it. “The game stuck me in the corner.”
My dude, you’re controlling the character. The game didn’t forced you in the corner. You incompetence did.
Watching This is How You Don’t Play Elden Ring is so painful man. The number of times this mf jump attacks and completely misses the attack before crying about the bad hit boxes is insane.
It doesn’t matter how you try to spin it, saying Elden Ring has bad hit boxes is just objectively wrong. There are literal weapon arts that will help you dodge an attack because it makes the player crouch slightly, causing blades to graze the hair of their heads. This game has amazing hit boxes detections.
Skill issue.
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moistmailman · 5 days
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Watching This is How You Don’t Play Elden Ring is so painful man. The number of times this mf jump attacks and completely misses the attack before crying about the bad hit boxes is insane.
It doesn’t matter how you try to spin it, saying Elden Ring has bad hit boxes is just objectively wrong. There are literal weapon arts that will help you dodge an attack because it makes the player crouch slightly, causing blades to graze the hair of their heads. This game has amazing hit boxes detections.
Skill issue.
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