modernincorrectlotrhobbit
modernincorrectlotrhobbit
Incorrect LotR and Hobbit
The modern Lord of the Rings! Best incorrect quotes. I've created all of them, but the sources vary. Submissions are welcome! Characterization might not be 100% canon.
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Haldir: Do you know why we pulled you over? It's because you were going 68 in a 55.
Legolas: Dang, 68? Can you make that number a little cooler so I can hear the judge read it out loud?
Haldir: Sure, whatever.
[Later, in court]
Elrond, the judge: How were you going 420 in a 55?
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I was reading this blog and laughing instead of cleaning my bathroom. Time well spent says I.
I’m always happy to help someone procrastinate! That’s why we do this. 😉
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Gimli: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.
Aragorn: …Don’t you mean benevolence?
Gimli: No.
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Bofur, bursting into the room, visibly drunk: Why do you hate Ukranian groove metal?! Is it because of its anti-Stalinist tendencies?!
Bilbo, shook: When have I ever voiced a dissented opinion against Ukrainian groove metal?! What even is Ukrainian groove metal?
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Barliman Butterbur: Okay, guys, who wanted the macaroni and bees?
The Hobbits: ...
Sam: ...you mean cheese?
Barliman Butterbur, struggling to keep the bowl covered: That does make more sense, actually.
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Kili, internally: Wait, is she into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs.
Kili, out loud: Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party?
Kili: He had no body to dance with.
Tauriel, laughing: That’s really funny!
Kili, internally: Well, that’s not a fair test. That joke is hilarious.
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Pippin: I have so many cavities.
Frodo: Apparently it’s hereditary.
Pippin: No, I think it’s from all the candy.
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Rent and food!!! please boost!
Due to using the rest of my money to cover the costs of my cats vet appointment i am 300 dollars short of rent and asking for some help .  i am desperate need of food as well.   if you could spare a dollar or two it would go a long ways. please consider helping me out! each donation that comes in i will update this post!
Cashapp: $snowqueen1996xx
paypal: snowqueen1996
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Eomer: Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will."
Faramir: I will my father loved me.
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Bard: Why are you like this??
Thranduil: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.
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Aragorn: My policy is that if you see something say something.
Legolas: I saw a frog on the sidewalk today!
Aragorn: Outstanding. This is what I’m talking about, people.
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I'm crying. Your title is just so... *wipes tear* emotional. I just- wow.
Thank you, yes, I am incredible, you’re welcome.
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Galadriel, looking at into her mirror: I see flames and five- no, seven skeletons carrying your body away, as a murder of crows flies over your head.
Gandalf: Is that good?
Galadriel: No idea. But it looks super badass.
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Éomer: So, you're basically the therapist for, like, the entire Fellowship?
Aragorn: Pretty much, yeah.
Éomer: Who's your therapist, then?
Aragorn:
Aragorn, holding up a small pebble: I talk to this rock sometimes.
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Someone: You're so dramatic!
Me, with a rose between my lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping myself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about
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Thranduil: I’m having fruit salad for dinner.
Thranduil: Actually, it’s mostly grapes.
Thranduil: All grapes, really.
Thranduil: Fermented grapes.
Thranduil: Wine.
Thranduil: I’m having wine for dinner.
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Shoutout to all the people who have been tagging me in those sweet “tag people whose blogs make you happy” or “tag people who seem like they’re a nice person irl”. I haven’t actually responded to or continued the chain of sending them along, but it fills me with insurmountable amounts of joy when I see them, and I want to thank you for thinking of me. As always, I love you all and you are a fantastic group of followers! ❤️❤️❤️
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I just found your blog and I am in love!
Fantastic, thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying! ❤️
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Galadriel: How are you managing to keep the Fellowship together since you lost Mithrandir?
Aragorn: I'm not. This morning Gimli called me from the other room and when I walked in Legolas shot me with a toy bow.
Aragorn: Then Merry and Pippin tackled Boromir. It was chaos.
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