Haldir: Do you know why we pulled you over? It's because you were going 68 in a 55.
Legolas: Dang, 68? Can you make that number a little cooler so I can hear the judge read it out loud?
Haldir: Sure, whatever.
[Later, in court]
Elrond, the judge: How were you going 420 in a 55?
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I was reading this blog and laughing instead of cleaning my bathroom. Time well spent says I.
I’m always happy to help someone procrastinate! That’s why we do this. 😉
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Gimli: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.
Aragorn: …Don’t you mean benevolence?
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Bofur, bursting into the room, visibly drunk: Why do you hate Ukranian groove metal?! Is it because of its anti-Stalinist tendencies?!
Bilbo, shook: When have I ever voiced a dissented opinion against Ukrainian groove metal?! What even is Ukrainian groove metal?
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Barliman Butterbur: Okay, guys, who wanted the macaroni and bees?
The Hobbits: ...
Sam: ...you mean cheese?
Barliman Butterbur, struggling to keep the bowl covered: That does make more sense, actually.
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Kili, internally: Wait, is she into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs.
Kili, out loud: Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party?
Kili: He had no body to dance with.
Tauriel, laughing: That’s really funny!
Kili, internally: Well, that’s not a fair test. That joke is hilarious.
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Pippin: I have so many cavities.
Frodo: Apparently it’s hereditary.
Pippin: No, I think it’s from all the candy.
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Rent and food!!! please boost!
Due to using the rest of my money to cover the costs of my cats vet appointment i am 300 dollars short of rent and asking for some help . i am desperate need of food as well. if you could spare a dollar or two it would go a long ways. please consider helping me out! each donation that comes in i will update this post!
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Eomer: Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will."
Faramir: I will my father loved me.
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Bard: Why are you like this??
Thranduil: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.
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Aragorn: My policy is that if you see something say something.
Legolas: I saw a frog on the sidewalk today!
Aragorn: Outstanding. This is what I’m talking about, people.
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I'm crying. Your title is just so... *wipes tear* emotional. I just- wow.
Thank you, yes, I am incredible, you’re welcome.
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Galadriel, looking at into her mirror: I see flames and five- no, seven skeletons carrying your body away, as a murder of crows flies over your head.
Gandalf: Is that good?
Galadriel: No idea. But it looks super badass.
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Éomer: So, you're basically the therapist for, like, the entire Fellowship?
Aragorn: Pretty much, yeah.
Éomer: Who's your therapist, then?
Aragorn, holding up a small pebble: I talk to this rock sometimes.
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Someone: You're so dramatic!
Me, with a rose between my lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping myself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about
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Pippin: My biggest talent is being stress.
Frodo: Don’t you mean stressed?
Gandalf, tired: No.
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Thranduil: I’m having fruit salad for dinner.
Thranduil: Actually, it’s mostly grapes.
Thranduil: All grapes, really.
Thranduil: Fermented grapes.
Thranduil: I’m having wine for dinner.
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Shoutout to all the people who have been tagging me in those sweet “tag people whose blogs make you happy” or “tag people who seem like they’re a nice person irl”. I haven’t actually responded to or continued the chain of sending them along, but it fills me with insurmountable amounts of joy when I see them, and I want to thank you for thinking of me. As always, I love you all and you are a fantastic group of followers! ❤️❤️❤️
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I just found your blog and I am in love!
Fantastic, thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying! ❤️
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Galadriel: How are you managing to keep the Fellowship together since you lost Mithrandir?
Aragorn: I'm not. This morning Gimli called me from the other room and when I walked in Legolas shot me with a toy bow.
Aragorn: Then Merry and Pippin tackled Boromir. It was chaos.
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