mielneda

[mielneda]

[mielneda]

Please quit throwing terms around like borderline personality disorder, psychotic, and narcissistic when you refer to Amber Heard and the whole Johnny Depp situation. I know it's a very intense and heated situation, and I agree that Amber Heard is a detestable person who deserves many hells for what she did to Johnny. But I don't think we need to be throwing mental health patients of personality disorders and psychosis under the bus when we talk about the criminal and abusive acts of a woman who may not have any of these mental illnesses and may just be a fucking piece of work. Many people who are cruel and uncaring don't have any mental health issues and are just not nice people. There's no reason for people to further associate mental conditions like mine with criminality, instability, and abuse. People with PDs and psychosis are already stigmatized, and contrary to popular belief, we are often the victims of abuse and many times our conditions come about as a result of abuse and trauma. Please think before you speak and use terms like this and consider if you're using them appropriately. Thank you!

[mielneda]

It is extremely important, now more than ever, to remember that having a personality disorder does not automatically make you a monster. You’re not a bad person because you have a personality disorder.

If you know someone with a PD, consider reassuring them and giving them some extra love right now. I, for one, am incredibly distraught that Heard was supposedly diagnosed with BPD and HPD, because she’s extremely abusive, manipulative, and narcissistic, and it casts a very dark, judgemental shadow on the rest of us. I’m afraid to tell anyone that I’m borderline ever again bc of her. I am nothing like AH. Mental illness is not an excuse for toxic, abusive behaviour, nor is it the reason for someone mistreating others. She chooses to be a monstrous, vile person. We are not all monsters like her.

If you support AH, get the fuck off my page. Sincerely, a lifelong male victim of abuse, who also has BPD and ASPD.

[mielneda]

I’m gonna be blunt: you bring little worth to a friendship if you’re apathetic toward the good in your friends’ lives. If you shrug when they come to you with little things that they’re happy about, they will eventually stop coming to you with anything and you’ll wonder why that relationship feels stale. Practice genuine excitement with the people in your life. If you see a friend try to downplay how excited they are about something just be like “yoooo! This is a cool thing! You’re a lovely person and you deserve lovely things! I love you!“ 

I think it’s easy to be someone people complain to, but it’s just as if not more important to be someone they know they’re allowed to be excited and proud and happy around.

[mielneda]

something I want to say: it makes me furious how people talk about psych ward patients that fight back in any way when they're restrained and institutionalized. this is literally a normal human reaction. they're categorized as violent and dangerous as if this is inherently some sort of mental health issue rather than a person logically not wanting to be handled like that and forced into a terrifying situation where they have no agency. the pathologizing of negative reactions to abusive authority figures is why this is considered acceptable, and why so many people leave places supposedly meant to save their lives in an even worse mental state.

[mielneda]

[mielneda]

[mielneda]

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

[mielneda]

NPD culture is being so incredibly bad at comforting due to a lack of empathy, and generally being annoyed when people vent to you for seven different reasons, but also wanting to be there for everyone so that you can be important to them.

[mielneda]

“i wouldn’t do xyz because i wouldn’t want it on my conscience”

oh well i wouldn’t do it because it’s a shitty thing to do. sorry you need empathy and remorse to make you kind lol.

[mielneda]

Hi, I am trying to understand what a narc crash is. Can you pls explain it to me? (I've been trying to look for info on it, but most of what I've seen on google doesn't explain it very well.)

a narc crash is a specific kind of extreme mood swing and period of distress that people with npd experience.

its categorized by a sudden and overwhelming drop in self worth and self esteem, deep feelings of self loathing, self hatred, and worthlessness. this can also lead to suicidal feelings and self harm behavior because we dont know how to handle or tolerate that distress and narc crashes can be incredibly overwhelming

they usually come on the heels of a "narc high" or state of extreme delusions of grandeur and feelings of powerfulness, invincibility and specialness. these emotional extremes are very fragile emotional states and since ppl with npd have difficulties with emotional regulation it is easy for extreme highs to suddenly drop and become extreme lows

theyre essentially what happens when we arent able to validate ourselves. we try to validate ourselves with the emotions of a "narc high" but since those are delusional and overcompensating emotions that are shallow and not rooted in genuine or healthy thoughts, they are very fragile and weak and when they collapse we are left with nothing and that becomes the spiraling crash

narc crashes are usually triggered by perceived or real rejection, which can come in any form. in the cases of perceived or projected rejection, this usually happens when we are feeling especially insecure and defensive, thus we read rejection in normal everyday activities from others and assume the worst of everything. things like that people just hate us and are going to abandon and reject us and we will be alone and unloved forever, even though those things are very often untrue

so they're essentially what happens when our maladaptive coping mechanisms for validation fail and we are left unable to generate positive feelings about ourselves and become swallowed up in self depreciating negativity. they can last anywhere from a few hours to weeks depending on the severity

thats the basics of it but if u have any other questions or need me to elaborate on anything just let me know

[mielneda]

With April almost being here… I just want to make sure it’s clear that:

This blog does not support Autism Speaks.

Please listen to the voices of autistic people.

[mielneda]

im so fucking sick of people saying “you know what you did.” because no i dont. i have no fucking idea what i did and i cant fix it or apologize to you or not do it again if you dont fucking tell me what to be sorry about. if im asking what i did wrong, I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG.

[mielneda]

System Resets

When all else fails when your body is just too overwhelmed, shock it to give yourself a chance to calm down. If you’re old enough to remember the Ice Bucket Challenge it’s like that, overloading your senses so you can’t feel anything else. 

This will not solve your bodily sensations. It is a tool for momentary relief to provide an opportunity to focus on other management techniques, if you simply do a system reset and leave it at that you’re only buying time until you’re overwhelmed again.

A lot of this requires some preparation ahead of time to have the materials you need to overwhelm your senses, here are some of my suggestions but different things may work better for you.

Eat something with an overwhelming taste, bite into a whole lemon or chili pepper

Smell something overwhelming, smelling salts, pepper, migraine sticks or minty smells.

Get cold, put your hand into a bag of ice, dunk your head into icy water, take a cold bath.

Weigh yourself down. Lay face down and stack books onto your body, buy a weighted blanket.

Listen to very loud music with headphones on, loud bass noises. CAUTION: repeated exposure may damage your ears.

Look at bright or flashing lights CAUTION: repeated exposure may damage your eyes, also don’t risk finding out you’re epileptic by doing this.

       KNOW THE STATE OF YOUR HEALTH AND KNOW YOUR LIMITS!!!

While I have listed some more universal risks of these coping mechanisms none of these are completely safe for everyone. Know your body, be aware of the risks, use these methods sparingly, do not come to rely on them.

[mielneda]

[mielneda]

This is your daily reminder to not be ashamed of making your life easy for yourself.

Cut your food into small pieces, make the font size 30 on your e book, use straws to drink, get a pen that’s comfortable to hold, take more naps, walk slowly, eat another cookie, buy velcro shoes, re-watch the part you couldn’t understand the first time, write things on your hands so you don’t forget it… whatever you want and/or need

Don’t let anyone tell you how you should be doing things. We don’t need to prove each other anything

[mielneda]

love this. you get bored so you just start eating some guy