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hi. i’m sorry. i don’t know if you guys were aware about jonghyun. but out of respect for him, i’ll be on hiatus until 2018. i was originally going to come back from a short break this week, but the recent news has really thrown me off. i’m sorry. i wasn’t the biggest shawol, but as a kpop stan since young, i grew up with their music and i massively respect them. i actively listened to every comeback as a casual fan and just knowing that his presence will no longer here is just painful. it just doesn’t seem right to be queueing/making posts or doing anything online when i'm still grieving and when i’m still incredibly upset. until i feel better, until i feel happier. i’ll be taking a temporary leave from tumblr. i hope you guys can understand. 
to the lovely people who tagged me on my tracking tag, i’m sorry, but until i return, i won’t be queuing them, i hope you can understand. to my mutuals, i’m sorry for being so greedy, but please wait for me to return. i’m sorry for not replying, i really don’t deserve all of you ah,,. i’ve received your messages, but i’ve spent the last few days grieving and helping with damage control on other vulnerable individuals. my heart aches a lot and my mind is so, so drained. i’m so sorry for being so selfish, but going online really terrifies me a lot and mentally exhausts me now, and i don’t have the courage and energy to open and look at all of your messages right now. i’m sorry for worrying you all, i’ll be okay, please don’t worry. it’s just that answering is really painful and being online hurts a lot right now. i’m sorry for always dropping off the face of the planet, but i really need a break from online this time. 
i would also like to mention this in advance now (i will be making a official notice for this but i just wanted to let you guys know now). but in 2018, as it’ll be my final year of high school, i’ll be taking a semi-hiatus for the entirety of 2018 to better focus on my studies and mental state. i hope you all can be understanding of that too.
finally, to everyone, please surround yourself with love and take care, you aren’t alone. please be more vigilant. if someone doesn’t look alright, please approach them and ask them if there’s anything wrong. please be nice. being nice doesn’t hurt, and you never know what kind of pain people are going through. a hateful action can take seconds to occur, but it can stay on someone’s mind for much longer than the time it took for you to say or do something horrible to them. please be humane and understanding. no matter what a person is known for, at the end of the day, they are still human, please understand that. please know your country’s necessary emergency contacts. you really never know who may need them. please never ever brush mental health away. not just to other people, but to you too. mental health is important. you may not be able to see emotional pain, but emotional pain is still pain and is equally if not more important to address.
i’m sending loads of love and hugs to everyone affected. to the person who has inspired and is loved by millions, you are now amongst the stars in the sky. thank you. you’ve worked really really hard, you’re finally free, please rest in peace.
until then, ella
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-wednesday 13 december 2017
i had a further maths exam today and i can say i officially failed it ahh, but the english literature paper wasn’t too bad
🎶 lauv - i like me better
ig: mart.studies
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12.13.17 
`hello !! so because its like finals week currently, I thought I’d share some posts + links that are actually saving me. 
grade saving !! guide to revising 
taking notes from that ap wh textbook (or any class)
writing an essay + how to plan + write 
replacing commonly used words in writing !!  
sleeping guide bc you need it !! 
a literal guide for finals survival 
pretty infographic on surviving finals
a ton of study tips for exams pls read 
how to memorize diagrams !!!!!!
an entire!! post with study tip links !! 
ap study info !! for like every ap class! 
getting through exam day + tips 
`hope these help you out! you can do this!! good luck !! 
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it’s okay to breakdown sometimes 
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here are a few takes from my studygram! 🍂
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Nov ‘17: if she’s not using it, she’s shopping for it!
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11.25.17 [11:14 AM] - Getting a little tired of my grey desk, so I guess it’s back to Peter Rabbit bedsheets 😂
🎧:  Wanna One (워너원) - Beautiful (뷰티풀)
📷: yoanxue
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thank you!!! <3333
Happy birthday to me~ 🎂💫
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Happy birthday to me~ 🎂💫
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ho ho ho where did my motivation go
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44 | You can always tell when my photos are taken after midnight cause I brighten the heck out of them to make it seem like I’m not a weird little study goblin staying up into the wee hours of darkness writing and re-writing my notes…
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One word moodboard: Study requested by anon 
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[ a spread about my latest stationery haul ]
the stickers i found on my package looked so cute and aesthetic, so i decided to do a spread about my haul! it turned out better than i expected.
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2nd week // october (ft. the flower i picked right outside our door)
aka my stress week. let’s look on the bright side tho. it was a productive one. want to see how i made this spread?? check out my journal with me video!
song of the week // monday loop - tomppabeats
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January 21st, 2017
Current desk situation: organic chem notes from last year, current notes, overflowing binder of things to do (including a grant proposal due in a few months????), biochem and chem textbook that I neglected until too late (do yourself a favour and don’t fall behind on readings). Not seen in this picture: post-lab reports that I haven’t finished because I have a biochem midterm in a few days, my personal lab notebook (I also accidentally brought home my official lab notebook oops), and papers, papers, papers everywhere. On the plus side I’m finally out of my studying slump!
(The flowers are for Chinese New Year, let’s hope I don’t kill them this time)
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01/12/17 // December
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