mearnsblog

[mearnsblog]

"Zootopia" (2016)

Let's get one thing out of the way first: "Zootopia" is a treat to watch. Their animation team received quite a bit of praise in wake of its release, and it's extremely deserved. All the different terrains they travel through in "Zootopia" are imaginative, clever, and well-considered. The visual jokes are top notch, and the bits with the sloth DMV and the timber wolves are a hoot.

I think there's a lot to like about the story here, too, and it's not a given that I'd say that since I figured out the twist halfway through. There are important lessons about not painting with too broad a brush, and we see the protagonist, Judy Hopps, on both sides of the coin. She's constantly striving to earn respect within her department despite being a small bunny, but she is also just unsure enough about foxes that it sets up a crushing conflict with her new nuisance-turned-friend, Nick Wilde. Tolerance, forgiveness, and understanding are all as important to this movie as basic heroism, and it deserves praise for that.

In short, it looks fantastic, touches on important life themes not always glimpsed in Disney movies, and has its fair share of humor as well. So… why did "Zootopia" sometimes struggle to hold my attention and ultimately fall in the middle of the pack of my rankings?

It's hard to say. This may just one of those good, old-fashioned subjective opinions. While I enjoyed the story from a thousand-foot view, the execution of it was not super-duper compelling. It wasn't bad by any stretch -- far from it -- but something was missing with the characters. Maybe part of it is that I don't find Jason Bateman as funny as I did when he was on "Arrested Development," though he did a good job with Nick's indignant turn on Judy. And if the the second top-billing isn't quite delivering the goods, then the lead has to crush it, and Ginnifer Goodwin as Judy just wasn't it. Again: not objectionable! Just not capital-g Good. The side characters mostly didn't do it for me, either, and while she only popped up occasionally, Shakira was just distracting. It takes you out of the movie to have her gazelle character pop up on the news and just… be Shakira.

So this one was tough for me because I know how much some people like "Zootopia." Hell, it won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature Film and this wasn't a "Brave" situation where people watched with raised eyebrows (yes, "Wreck-It Ralph" clearly should have won, why do you ask). But I can't pretend like something was better than I thought. That's OK, too! Taste just varies. So it goes.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Tangled” (review) 7.  “Wreck-It Ralph” (review) 8. “Frozen” (review) 9. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 10. "Big Hero 6" (review) 11. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 12. “Aladdin” (review) 13. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 14. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 15. “The Jungle Book” (review) 16. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 17. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 18. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 19. “Fantasia” (review) 20. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 21. “Tarzan” (review) 22. “The Princess and the Frog” (review) 23. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 24. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 25. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 26. “Pinocchio” (review) 27. "Zootopia" 28. “Robin Hood” (review) 29. “Oliver & Company” (review) 30. “Hercules” (review) 31. “Pocahontas” (review) 32. “The Rescuers” (review) 33. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 34. “Bambi” (review) 35. “Peter Pan” (review) 36. “The Aristocats” (review) 37. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 38. “Dumbo” (review) 39. “Bolt” (review) 40. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 41. “Treasure Planet” (review) 42. “Chicken Little” (review) 43. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 44. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 45. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 46. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 47. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 48. “Make Mine Music” (review) 49. “Brother Bear” (review) 50. “Winnie the Pooh” (review) 51. “Dinosaur” (review) 52. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 53. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 54. “Melody Time” (review) 55. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

"Big Hero 6" (2014)

If “Frozen” is an ode to the bond between sisters, then that’s what “Big Hero 6” is to the bond between brothers. And it works! It really works well, and it’s one of the best non-musicals ever made by the Disney animated studio.

What’s most impressive to me is how quickly you accept and love the bond between Hiro and Tadashi. They don’t need to get into the specifics of how they lost their parents, how Tadashi pulled himself together to help support his younger brother, or how Tadashi got into robotics in the first place. There’s a reason why “Show, don’t tell” is such a time-tested formula for the best movies. Just like Hiro, the audience is sent reeling when Tadashi is suddenly killed in the explosion at the university. It’s not just through Hiro though; by smartly weaving in their aunt and all of Tadashi’s friends at school, you understand what he meant to them, too. None of these scenes are long! By making Hiro the audience surrogate in meeting the gang, they get to be both introductory and effective.

The same goes for Baymax. I entered this movie knowing essentially nothing about “Big Hero 6” aside from Baymax being the most memorable character. Like the friends at school, Tadashi introduces Hiro to Baymax early on, and it’s not until after Tadashi’s death that Baymax really enters the plot. He becomes a brother of sorts to Hiro, too, both a guardian through his medical skill, counseling, and ability, and a younger brother through Hiro teaching him about what we knows about the world. But Baymax saves Hiro from his worst, most angry tendencies by bringing Tadashi back into the story in his own way.

“You’re gonna help so many people, buddy. So many." - Tadashi to Baymax

All the voice actors are on top of their game, but there’s such a simple, funny, sweet tone that “30 Rock” legend Scott Adsit lends to Baymax. And just like Tadashi (a superb Daniel Henney), it’s gutting when the original Baymax has to goodbye. The cause in his sacrifice is at least worthy, and it’s a mark of Hiro growing up that he sadly accepts Baymax’s commitment to get both him and the professor’s lost daughter home. (By the way: San Fransokyo? A+, no notes.)

The animation’s amazing, the side characters do their job of providing heart and humor without taking over the overriding narrative, and even with villains, you sort of understand their frustrations. Well, not so much the idiot tech venture capitalist guy, but, well, there are plenty of those out there in the world, too. It’s not restricted to the fictional San Fransokyo, unfortunately.

I don’t really have a good reason for keeping “Big Hero 6” down at 10th because I honestly enjoyed it about as much as any Disney movie. It’s 5/5, 10/10, whatever you want to call it. I think deep down, I just love the musicals more, and “Wreck-It Ralph” just plunges right into the depths of my long-ago gaming soul. I would recommend this to anyone though. It somehow strikes the balance of not taking itself too seriously while also being sincere and touching.

I am satisfied with my care.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Tangled” (review) 7.  “Wreck-It Ralph” (review) 8. “Frozen” (review) 9. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 10. "Big Hero 6" 11. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 12. “Aladdin” (review) 13. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 14. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 15. “The Jungle Book” (review) 16. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 17. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 18. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 19. “Fantasia” (review) 20. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 21. “Tarzan” (review) 22. “The Princess and the Frog” (review) 23. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 24. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 25. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 26. “Pinocchio” (review) 27. “Robin Hood” (review) 28. “Oliver & Company” (review) 29. “Hercules” (review) 30. “Pocahontas” (review) 31. “The Rescuers” (review) 32. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 33. “Bambi” (review) 34. “Peter Pan” (review) 35. “The Aristocats” (review) 36. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 37. “Dumbo” (review) 38. “Bolt” (review) 39. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 40. “Treasure Planet” (review) 41. “Chicken Little” (review) 42. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 43. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 44. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 45. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 46. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 47. “Make Mine Music” (review) 48. “Brother Bear” (review) 49. “Winnie the Pooh” (review) 50. “Dinosaur” (review) 51. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 52. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 53. “Melody Time” (review) 54. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Frozen” (2013)

Here's a pointless story about the first time I heard about "Frozen." In December 2013, I saw a Switchfoot concert at Rams Head Live in Baltimore, and the opener was a band called New Politics. They charted that year with probably their biggest hit, "Harlem," and that was all I really knew about them. After the show, I was Wikipedia-ing them (as very cool kids do), and realized that "Harlem" was used in a trailer for some Disney movie that recently came out. This is all a long-winded way to say that I'm probably one of very few people in the world to learn about the existence of the soon-to-be titanic megahit "Frozen" in this way. Again: utterly pointless.

The funny thing about that trailer is that it's really not a good one. I don't think that Disney truly realized what it had on their hands. I'm sure they were hopeful that it would be at least as successful as "Tangled," but this was a billion-dollar hit that immediately made "Frozen" Disney's biggest branding opportunity of the century to date. It's obviously still popular today, but it will be difficult to communicate to future generations just how omnipresent "Frozen" became. In the words of Kristen Bell in another project, "Hot diggity dog."

That's all well and good for Disney's marketing team, but Mr. Mouse's bottom dollar doesn't mean much to me. How good is "Frozen," really? Although parents who have had to see it 500 times might have their own opinions, as someone who has maybe seen it once since the first time in 2014 or so (aside from clips here and there), it still holds up! I like "Frozen," I really do. No, I don't have it No. 1, but it's a legitimately enjoyable time. The snowy weather looks fantastic and a lot of work went into the animation.

I don't care if it's hackneyed to say at this point: It's so smart to have two love stories in this movie, with the most powerful one involving two siblings. One can’t say enough about the incredible work done by Bell as Anna and Idina Menzel as Elsa. As a viewer, you fully understand and are brokenhearted about why Anna and Elsa's estrangement occurred, particularly with Elsa so fearful of ever hurting her sister with her powers again. She just wants whatever will ensure that Anna is safe, and it's tricky to still be close without accidentally revealing her powers following Anna's memory wipe. Oh, there probably was a way, but she's a confused kid, not to mention one who loses her parents by the time the prologue has concluded.

Almost all of the characters in this movie are incredibly good. I found the trolls a little tedious, but they really aren't in the movie that long and their song was short enough that I could play on my phone (important, I know). Olaf has become a phenomenon in his own right, but writers were judicious in how much screen time to give him. The focus remains on Anna and Elsa, and to a lesser extent, Hans and Kristoff (and the good boy Sven, of course). A few years after the fact, I've noticed some criticism of the Hans plot twist, but it still works pretty well if you ask me. For most kids, it'll probably be the first plot twist they've ever seen, so that's fun to think about.

Here's a mildly hot take: The soundtrack is only fine. "Let It Go" has gotten all of its plaudits and then some, and "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" is still an expertly-executed prologue song. The rest of it? I mean... if you dig it, I'm happy for you, but despite a shorter soundtrack, "Tangled" had more great songs. This is not meant as a knock on “Frozen!” I would just classify the majority of the soundtrack as “B to B+” Disney compared to top tier.

Again though, "Frozen" is still a good time and ranks in my personal Top 10, which I think will only have one or two more additions as we enter the most recent decade of animated classics. If you disagree, then you whatever. Take your opinion and let it g- /yanked offstage with a giant cane/

Best song: "Let It Go"

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Tangled” (review) 7.  “Wreck-It Ralph” (review) 8. “Frozen” 9. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 10. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 11. “Aladdin” (review) 12. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 13. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 14. “The Jungle Book” (review) 15. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 16. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 17. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 18. “Fantasia” (review) 19. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 20. “Tarzan” (review) 21. “The Princess and the Frog” (review) 22. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 23. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 24. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 25. “Pinocchio” (review) 26. “Robin Hood” (review) 27. “Oliver & Company” (review) 28. “Hercules” (review) 29. “Pocahontas” (review) 30. “The Rescuers” (review) 31. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 32. “Bambi” (review) 33. “Peter Pan” (review) 34. “The Aristocats” (review) 35. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 36. “Dumbo” (review) 37. “Bolt” (review) 38. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 39. “Treasure Planet” (review) 40. “Chicken Little” (review) 41. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 42. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 43. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 44. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 45. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 46. “Make Mine Music” (review) 47. “Brother Bear” (review) 48. “Winnie the Pooh” (review) 49. “Dinosaur” (review) 50. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 51. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 52. “Melody Time” (review) 53. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Wreck-It Ralph” (2012)

And now, after several months' delay, we've reached probably the best non-musical Disney animated classic ever made. I mean, if you know me at all, then this shouldn't surprise you at all. I was a complete sucker for retro video games growing up and still remain that way to this day.

However, it'd be one thing to do "REFERENCES!: The Movie" and coast from there, and "Wreck-It Ralph" certainly indulges in that (shout-out to my Nos. 1a & 1b cameos, Q-Bert and the Konami Code), but it never forgets that it's its own story -- a story that is just expertly well-done. Although Ralph is the longtime villain of his own arcade game centered around the hero, Fix-It Felix, the movie audience is quickly drawn to him given the way the residents of Felix's building ruthlessly antagonize him without any concern at all, even when the "games" are over. They expect him to do his part and go sleep in the dump afterward while they celebrate inside, and then are flabbergasted when Ralph just doesn't show up to work one day because he wants to try to earn a "good guy" medal in another game. Part of the reason why Ralph works so well is that John C. Reilly is one of the best actors in the business and knows exactly how to earn sympathy with the right inflections while also showing frustration that lingers deep down.

Of course, Reilly doesn't have to do too much heavy lifting on his own. Sarah Silverman holds her own against him as Vanellope in a number of scenes and quickly establishes a compelling storyline of her own in the "Sugar Rush" world, where an old arcade villain has turned her from the star of the racing game (unbeknownst to her in a savvy twist) into a glitch that is never allowed to race. Ralph and Vanellope form a quick, effortlessly charming bond that establishes the heart of the whole movie.

"30 Rock" favorite Jack McBrayer (hi Kenneth!) and Jane Lynch are perfectly fine as Felix himself and a character from another game, Sgt. Calhoun, but there's an acceptable version of "Wreck-It Ralph" that exists where Felix is just part of the town and Calhoun isn't in it. I'd wager that this one is better since Felix has a nice realization about how he's been enabling Ralph's misery, but it's interesting to consider regardless.

Anyway, this movie is ingenious. The design is fantastic, Game Central Station and all its components are brilliant, the comedy is great, the occasional animated transitions to arcade and 8-bit lands are executed seamlessly, and who doesn't enjoy a story that reaches its thrilling conclusion with the help of Diet Coke and Mentos?

I love "Wreck-It Ralph." I can only put it above so many Disney musicals because that, to me, is what the ol’ House of Mouse is all about at its heart, but what a joy it is to have this jewel in the Disney archives.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Tangled” (review) 7. “Wreck-It Ralph” 8. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 9. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 10. “Aladdin” (review) 11. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 12. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 13. “The Jungle Book” (review) 14. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 15. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 16. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 17. “Fantasia” (review) 18. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 19. “Tarzan” (review) 20. “The Princess and the Frog” (review) 21. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 22. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 23. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 24. “Pinocchio” (review) 25. “Robin Hood” (review) 26. “Oliver & Company” (review) 27. “Hercules” (review) 28. “Pocahontas” (review) 29. “The Rescuers” (review) 30. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 31. “Bambi” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “The Aristocats” (review) 34. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 35. “Dumbo” (review) 36. “Bolt” (review) 37. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 38. “Treasure Planet” (review) 39. “Chicken Little” (review) 40. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 41. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 42. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 43. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 44. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 45. “Make Mine Music” (review) 46. “Brother Bear” (review) 47. “Winnie the Pooh” (review) 48. “Dinosaur” (review) 49. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 50. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 51. “Melody Time” (review) 52. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Winnie the Pooh” (2011)

This might be the most lost that I've felt on the Disney animated classic countdown, and this is probably going to be among the shortest entries because there is so little to say about it. I knew that a "Winnie the Pooh" movie came out in 2011, but I never saw it. I assumed that it was probably pretty similar in style to “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” and just didn't get around to it.

On the one hand, it does follow the fun “Pooh” schtick of the narrator (John Cleese) talking to Pooh throughout the movie to charmingly try to nudge him along in his actions. On the other, "Many Adventures" was a compilation of three Pooh stories, whereas "Winnie the Pooh" follows just one (maybe one and a half if you count Eeyore's tail plot) for a little over an hour. The problem is that Pooh was not really made with hour-long features in mind, and it felt more like I was watching a movie for infants and little toddlers than a normal Disney kids movie.

It's very possible that this is all just cognitive dissonance, that "Many Adventures" also leaned that young, and that I still like it today because I have memories of it. However, something just seemed off about "Winnie the Pooh." The tone felt like it was really aiming for that younger audience, both in terms of its very basic humor, bare-bones story (the "Backson" thing just felt extremely toddler-oriented), and treatment of its cast of characters. Some are perfectly done, like Eeyore, Kanga, and Roo. But Owl, Tigger, and Rabbit are just a bit off and more rough around the edges. Even Pooh is a tad more one-note than normal.

To be honest, it doesn't feel like I should rank "Winnie the Pooh" alongside these other movies because of its apparent target audience. Unfortunately, it has to go somewhere, so I did my best. I can't say the same for Disney producers here, but I seriously doubt that they cared what a 32-year-old would think of this one, so the joke's on me. Oh well.

Best song: "The Backson Song" (mainly because it was very "Heffalumps and Woozles")

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Tangled” (review) 7. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 8. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 9. “Aladdin” (review) 10. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 11. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 12. “The Jungle Book” (review) 13. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 14. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 15. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 16. “Fantasia” (review) 17. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 18. “Tarzan” (review) 19. “The Princess and the Frog” (review) 20. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 21. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 22. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 23. “Pinocchio” (review) 24. “Robin Hood” (review) 25. “Oliver & Company” (review) 26. “Hercules” (review) 27. “Pocahontas” (review) 28. “The Rescuers” (review) 29. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 30. “Bambi” (review) 31. “Peter Pan” (review) 32. “The Aristocats” (review) 33. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 34. “Dumbo” (review) 35. “Bolt” (review) 36. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 37. “Treasure Planet” (review) 38. “Chicken Little” (review) 39. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 40. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 41. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 42. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 43. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 44. “Make Mine Music” (review) 45. “Brother Bear” (review) 46. “Winnie the Pooh” 47. “Dinosaur” (review) 48. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 49. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 50. “Melody Time” (review) 51. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Tangled” (2010)

When "Tangled" first came out, I was definitely inclined to give it a pass. As I mentioned in yesterday's "Princess and the Frog" review, I've always loved 2D animation more than the modern computer animation, and I naïvely hoped that I could just skip "Tangled" as Disney returned to the traditional format that I liked in “Princess.” Then, "Tangled" outperformed "Princess," and once "Frozen" obliterated Disney's box office records, that spelled the end of that dream.

By the time "Frozen" came out though, I'd already seen "Tangled." And guess what? I liked it far more than I ever could have expected! Despite the list of updated rankings that I include at the end of each of these posts, I generally try to avoid doing overall head-to-head comparisons (though I'll occasionally recall select parts from past movies), but "Tangled" and "Princess" immediately sparked comparisons in the moment because they came out in back-to-back years and again, were done in a different style. And it must be said: for me, "Tangled" wins almost across the board.

This is not an indictment of "Princess," which I still really like. But to go back to my dumb cheesecake analogy from the last review, "Tangled" had the extra toppings to make everything just a little bit better. Call it the strawberry effect if you want. The cast is done in a different manner with a smaller main crew (Rapunzel, Flynn, and Gothel) and turning the side characters into non-speaking roles. It works here! All three of those leads are terrific characters, and both Maximus the horse and Pascal the chameleon are legitimately funny. As someone who grew up on a lot of Tom & Jerry and Wile E. Coyote cartoons, I'm a sucker for sound effects-only humor anyway.

I also remember raising my eyebrows about how Disney would make the "Rapunzel" story more interesting. They probably could've gotten away with a mostly-standard version many moons ago, but the more modern movies understandably have to do extra work. They did a great job! I love the simultaneous trick of making small nods to the original story while also striving to walk its own path. I actually didn't remember the specifics of how it ended this time around aside from the obvious "happily ever after" part, but the way that Gothel meets her demise is excellent.

Something else that I didn't expect is that I legitimately like all of the four songs used in the movie. "When Will My Life Begin" is a perfect kick-start to the plot and much like "One Jump Ahead" in Aladdin, it instantly gives you the rundown on Rapunzel. The "I Want" song is a powerful tool, it's true, but not all of them are as catchy or compelling as this one. I think we've all wondered "When will my life begin?" at various points, too; it's an easy sentiment to share. "Mother Knows Best" is a fine villain song, "I've Got a Dream" is just fun, and yes, "I See the Light" is adorable -- classic love song, will goofily dance to it. Kudos to Mandy Moore, Alan Menken, and company.

Even the modern computer animation is nicely done! I'd enjoy seeing an alternate version that was the normal 2D edition, but the animators were very smart with how they told the story. The landscapes are masterful, and both the kingdom and forest look great. Maximus and Pascal's expressions and actions need to be designed perfectly to reach their peak comedic effects, and hell if they don't hit all their marks. A+ work.

"Tangled" is just so well done that it impresses me. I'm giving it a pretty lofty ranking because it simply checks all the boxes with ease and I know that I'd happily watch it again just a day later -- far from an effortless trick to pull off. I have little doubt that any future children will test that resolve, but for now, I'm going to keep loving "Tangled." Hooray!

Best song: "When Will My Life Begin"

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Tangled” 7. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 8. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 9. “Aladdin” (review) 10. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 11. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 12. “The Jungle Book” (review) 13. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 14. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 15. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 16. “Fantasia” (review) 17. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 18. “Tarzan” (review) 19. “The Princess and the Frog” (review) 20. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 21. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 22. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 23. “Pinocchio” (review) 24. “Robin Hood” (review) 25. “Oliver & Company” (review) 26. “Hercules” (review) 27. “Pocahontas” (review) 28. “The Rescuers” (review) 29. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 30. “Bambi” (review) 31. “Peter Pan” (review) 32. “The Aristocats” (review) 33. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 34. “Dumbo” (review) 35. “Bolt” (review) 36. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 37. “Treasure Planet” (review) 38. “Chicken Little” (review) 39. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 40. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 41. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 42. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 43. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 44. “Make Mine Music” (review) 45. “Brother Bear” (review) 46. “Dinosaur” (review) 47. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 48. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 49. “Melody Time” (review) 50.* “Home on the Range” (review)

*Holy wow, we’ve reached 50 of these! It only took almost two years and a ton of procrastinating. Surprise, surprise. Maybe another baseball work stoppage will bring us to the finish line.

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“The Princess and the Frog” (2009)

We have officially crossed the threshold from a large stretch of Disney movies that I didn't see because I was a too-cool teen to ones that I (mostly) did get around to seeing. In fact, "Princess and the Frog" was on quite a bit during my middle years of college because I had friends who would put it on in the background while they worked, and I did watch it all the way through. My verdict then was that it was pretty good -- not, like, elite Disney, but still pretty good!

Although it's probably been about a decade since I last watched "Princess," I think that assessment is mostly accurate. It overall pales in comparison to some more recent efforts and again, isn't quite up to the level of the classics, but that doesn't mean it's bad by any stretch. This movie doesn't belong at either end of the ol' Rotten Tomatoes "Fresh" or "Rotten" scale. There's a nuanced grey area in the middle -- more like upper-middle, in this case -- where "Princess" belongs because it's an enjoyable movie.

The characters are all fun (even if I think the writers love the firefly a bit too much), the villain Faucier is one of Disney animation's best, I love the background jazz music, the songs are perfectly fine with a few gems in there, and I already know that I'm going to miss the traditional 2D Disney animation style when we enter the new era. This was one of the last Disney movies created in this manner, and I loved how they rendered New Orleans and the bayou. Ultimately, the studio decided to stick with computer animation for the future after the brief trip down memory lane. It might just be my dumb nostalgia, but there's always been something much more interesting and natural about 2D animation than the modern techniques. Oh well. It's a losing battle on my end.

"Princess" runs into the most problems when it tries to be more than it actually is. It tries to have its beignet and eat it too, if you'll excuse the terribly paraphrased expression. I appreciate that Disney did make an attempt to show why Tiana faces difficulty in achieving her dreams because of her race, and for a young audience, that shouldn't be taken for granted. The Undefeated’s Keith Murphy wrote an excellent article a few years ago about the lasting impact of Tiana in the Disneyverse. However, as Murphy noted, "Princess" does yada-yada some important parts of the story on its way to the fantastical conclusion (as other writers more qualified than me have noted). And there's nothing wrong with a fantastical conclusion -- this is Disney, after all -- but there's a more meaningful, compelling way to get from Point A to Point B than what this story did. It doesn't help that at points, it can feel like the story is dragging a bit, too.

Looking back on "Princess" though, I don't feel compelled to criticize it so much that I miss what it does bring to the table. If you enjoyed the overall taste of the cheesecake, you're not going to regret eating it just because it didn't have something that could've made it better. I like cheesecake and I like "Princess and the Frog." So cheers to that!

Best song: "Friends on the Other Side"

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Princess and the Frog” 19. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 20. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 21. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 22. “Pinocchio” (review) 23. “Robin Hood” (review) 24. “Oliver & Company” (review) 25. “Hercules” (review) 26. “Pocahontas” (review) 27. “The Rescuers” (review) 28. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 29. “Bambi” (review) 30. “Peter Pan” (review) 31. “The Aristocats” (review) 32. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 33. “Dumbo” (review) 34. “Bolt” (review) 35. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 36. “Treasure Planet” (review) 37. “Chicken Little” (review) 38. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 39. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 40. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 41. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 42. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 43. “Make Mine Music” (review) 44. “Brother Bear” (review) 45. “Dinosaur” (review) 46. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 47. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 48. “Melody Time” (review) 49. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

All Out-of-Position Teams, 2013-21

Because the latest edition just went up and I want one place to track all the different spots that the post has lived over the years. It’s mostly just been BP, but we have a little Cut4 and even a charity post mixed in there. Sadly, some of the GIF & video links are broken on the old posts, and a handful of these choices aren’t quite as strange in retrospect, though each had their own reasons.

But c’est la vie. Archives are archives for a reason.

2013 C: Jake Elmore, HOU 1B: Miguel Tejada, KC 2B: Mark Reynolds, NYY 3B: Vernon Wells, NYY SS: Brandon Inge, PIT LF: Brendan Harris, LAA CF: Jeff Francoeur, SF RF: Lyle Overbay, NYY P: Casper Wells, PHI

2014 C: Victor Martinez, DET 1B: Carlos Beltrán, NYY 2B: Daniel Robertson, TEX 3B: Albert Pujols, LAA SS: Chone Figgins, LAD LF: Andrew Cashner, SD CF: Ryan Braun, MIL RF: Mark Reynolds, MIL P: Adam Dunn, CWS

2015 C: Wilin Rosario, COL 1B: Alex Rodriguez, NYY 2B: Carlos Gómez, MIL 3B: Albert Pujols, LAA SS: Brandon Phillips, CIN LF: Hanley Ramirez, BOS CF: Joey Gallo, TEX RF: John Jaso, TB P: Jonny Gomes, ATL

2016 C: Juan Graterol, LAA 1B: Brian McCann, NYY 2B: Anthony Rizzo, CHC 3B: Jeff Francoeur, MIA SS: Jose Altuve, HOU LF: Shelby Miller, ARI CF: Kris Bryant, CHC RF: Mark Trumbo, BAL P: Miguel Montero, CHC

2017 C: Andrew Romine, DET 1B: Bryan Mitchell, NYY 2B: Chase Headley, NYY 3B: Travis d'Arnaud, NYM SS: Josh Donaldson, TOR LF: José Reyes, NYM CF: Freddy Galvis, PHI RF: Javier Báez, CHC P: Scooter Gennett, CIN

2018 C: Joe Mauer, MIN 1B: José Alvarado, TB 2B: Jeff Mathis, ARI 3B: Sergio Romo, TB SS: Russell Martin, TOR LF: Steve Cishek/Brian Duensing, CHC CF: Willians Astudillo, MIN RF: Matt Adams, WSN P: Pablo Sandoval, SF

2019 C: Kyle Schwarber, CHC 1B: Adam Kolarek, TB/LAD 2B: Christian Vázquez, BOS 3B: Yadier Molina, STL SS: Rafael Devers, BOS LF: Vince Velasquez, PHI CF: Tommy Edman, STL RF: Chris Davis, BAL P: Gerardo Parra, WSN

2020 C: Tzu-Wei Lin, BOS 1B: Jason Kipnis, CHC 2B: Mookie Betts, LAD 3B: Jesús Aguilar, MIA SS: Matt Chapman, OAK LF: Rio Ruiz, BAL CF: Dilson Herrera, BAL RF: Adam Kolarek, LAD P: Todd Frazier, NYM

2021 C: Taylor Ward, LAA 1B: Nelson Cruz, TB 2B: Robinson Chirinos, CHC 3B: José Abreu, CWS SS: Kris Bryant, CHC LF: Joe Musgrove, SD CF: Rob Refsnyder, MIN RF: Josh Bell, PIT P: Wilmer Difo, PIT

#baseballprospectus #cut4

[mearnsblog]

“Bolt” (2008)

For the second year in a row, I fell into a bit of an autumn Disney hiatus, this time partially due to a combination of baseball and the whole "moving to another state" process. It's not easy, and it didn't help that I wasn't super jazzed about the next animated classic, "Bolt."

That's probably not entirely fair to "Bolt." I just didn't know anything about it, wasn't super interested by the movie's trailer, and thus didn't push to dive back into watching movies. It happens. So what does it take to get back into the binge? Baseball going into both an offseason and a lockout, some down time after Christmas, and hey, another COVID variant. Oh joy.

Anyway, that's how "Bolt" finally appeared on our screens for the first day of 2022, which scientists are telling me is a real year (though I am skeptical). We watched it, ate some charcuterie, and, well, the charcuterie was better.

That sentence is also probably not entirely fair to "Bolt." I just really like cheese, whereas for as much as I enjoy good cartoon dogs, "Bolt" was merely fine. If I was the right age when it came out, I would probably love it. The otherwise-unknown Mark Walton is legitimately funny as Rhino the hamster, and Susie Essman's bitter humor as Mittens the cat plays well off John Travolta occasionally doing some good over-the-top John Travolta things as the titular pup, Bolt.

There was just some... je ne sais quoi missing from "Bolt" to keep me super engaged (similar to "Meet the Robinsons"). Certain scenes had a tendency to drag, thus making a 90-minute movie feel closer to two hours. The opening sequence of a typical day at work for the unwitting TV star Bolt goes on for a bit too long, and again, there are a few other parts of the movie that could've been edited to make it a bit tighter, too. I appreciated what the writers were trying to do by keeping the saga of Bolt's owner, Penny, as part of the side plot so that her semi-reintroduction and sadness about Bolt disappearing wasn't forgotten. But I just wasn't into it. Her greedy agent was more of a dumb cartoon character than the actual animal cartoon characters.

To be honest, I'd probably like "Bolt" more if I hadn't seen some aspects of "Bolt" done better in other movies. TV star fooled into thinking TV is the real world? "Truman Show." Sidekick a touch jaded about humans giving up on them? Jessie in "Toy Story 2." Street-smart New York animals? "Oliver & Company." And don't get me started on the classic misunderstanding trope near the end, when Bolt thinks that Penny has moved on because he caught her at the exact wrong moment.

This was a movie made for kids though, and at least the "Truman Show" aspect is something they probably wouldn't have seen before unless their parents are huge Jim Carrey dramedy fans. Perhaps it should thus be graded on more of a curve, but remember: The best Disney movies are the ones that aren't just background noise for parents while the kids watch. And while "Bolt" is undoubtedly better than generic background noise, it could be better. So I understand why it's become a touch forgotten in its generation of kids' movies.

As an aside, I'm glad to get back into the Disney groove though because we're about to hit a run of Disney movies that I remember seeing and liking! At the very least, I can thank "Bolt" for that. Good dog. Good boy. Biscuit for you!

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “Peter Pan” (review) -- retroactive slight adjustment 30. “The Aristocats” (review) 31. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 32. “Dumbo” (review) 33. “Bolt” 34. “Meet the Robinsons” (review) 35. “Treasure Planet” (review) 36. “Chicken Little” (review) 37. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 38. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 39. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 40. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 41. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 42. “Make Mine Music” (review) 43. “Brother Bear” (review) 44. “Dinosaur” (review) 45. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 46. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 47. “Melody Time” (review) 48. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Meet the Robinsons” (2007)

Here's a weird thing about me: For a long time, I've liked the song "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty. I don't know exactly when I first heard it, but it came during that oh-so-formative time when I was nearing the end of high school. It's a lovely song that isn't subtle but still knows exactly what it is: "Our lives are made in these small hours."

So what's weird about that other than me reminiscing about a 14-year-old song that has been mostly forgotten? Well, it apparently got attention in the first place because Disney featured it near the end of "Meet the Robinsons," which I never saw. Much like other Disney movies around this time, I never had any desire to watch it.

This decision was wise for "Home on the Range," and while "Chicken Little" was better, I don't think I really missed much. With "Meet the Robinsons," though? It didn't blow me over, but it was still quite charming in the end! High School Mearns would've been fine with it, if not only to listen to Rob Thomas in the end. It takes a little while for "Meet the Robinsons" to hit its stride. It gets a tad madcap at times, and moreso in the confusing manner rather than compelling. The Robinson family itself is fun but the movie zooms a bit too much through all the characters, somewhat limiting the more important Robinsons' emotional impact. Some moments hit; others whiz by. There are too many Robinsons.

The protagonist, the orphan Lewis, is a well-formed character. The audience immediately understands why he's trying too hard and why he's being a bit shortsighted despite his vast intellect. But both he and Wilbur Robinson grow as the film proceeds, and isn't that the point? If I'm nitpicking, I do find the voice of the kid that they chose for Lewis to be annoying. So it goes.

Another strange thing is that while the story touches on so many science fiction films that I enjoy -- "Back to the Future," "2001: A Space Odyssey," and even "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" to name a few -- something was off. Maybe it was the fact that the villain was only so-so and some bits were a tad drawn out. It had heart, for sure. (I thought the orphanage director was an underrated, sweet character.) There was just a hard-to-define pizzazz missing from the movie that could've made it special.

Oh well. You could do a lot worse than watching "Meet the Robinsons." Those frogs rule anyway, there's no doubting that.

Best song: "Little Wonders" - Rob Thomas (lol like I wasn't going to yell about this dumb song yet again)

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “The Aristocats” (review) 30. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 31. “Dumbo” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “Meet the Robinsons” 34. “Treasure Planet” (review) 35. “Chicken Little” (review) 36. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 37. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 38. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 39. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 40. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 41. “Make Mine Music” (review) 42. “Brother Bear” (review) 43. “Dinosaur” (review) 44. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 45. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 46. “Melody Time” (review) 47. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Chicken Little” (2005)

For a long time, my brain regularly mixed up "Chicken Little" with another animated movie released just a few years prior, "Chicken Run." It's probably because I never had an inclination to see either, so I could only allocate so much space to "chicken movie that I will not see."

Well, now I suppose I will have to remember "Chicken Little" since this long-term Disney binge has led me to finally watch it. However, I must use the word "suppose," because I'm not sure how much I will actually remember of this movie. It wasn't... bad per se? It just wasn't particularly good. It was fine.

Zach Braff as the lead chicken? Fine, though I’d rather be watching “Scrubs.”

Joan Cusack as the ugly duckling? Fine, though I’d rather be watching “Toy Story 2.”

Steve Zahn & Amy Sedaris in their supporting roles? I mean, they rule because of who they are, but they were mostly just fine.

The father/son relationship and work that the clearly struggling & widowed dad has to do to be happy with his son for who he is? Only fine because it's somehow only sympathetic to a degree.

I never particularly got into the story. It's a similar idea to the classic "Chicken Little" tale where the sky is falling. Except as it turns out, the sky *was* falling. It was just ... ALIENS. And again! Just... fine aliens. They weren't super cool, but the alien tech we saw was fun and I liked the baby alien that gets lost, Kirby. I’m just tired of stories about someone's relationships with close ones and/or the public struggling due to a misunderstanding. Maybe it’d be better if this was the first one of those stories I’d seen, but it isn’t. Oh well.

I know this review is repetitive, but this is just the best way to describe the movie. It's fine. Although I don't regret watching it, I probably won't see it again unless someone really, really wants me to. I'll be, well, fine with it.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “The Aristocats” (review) 30. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 31. “Dumbo” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “Treasure Planet” (review) 34. “Chicken Little” 35. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 36. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 37. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 38. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 39. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 40. “Make Mine Music” (review) 41. “Brother Bear” (review) 42. “Dinosaur” (review) 43. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 44. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 45. “Melody Time” (review) 46. “Home on the Range” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Home on the Range” (2004)

"Home on the Range" was absolutely not something I ever envisioned myself voluntarily watching. I have vague memories of seeing commercials for it on TV while I was in middle school and remember thinking, "Wow, I guess kids' movies are just really bad these days."

Now, Middle School Mearns didn't always have the best opinions, so I was willing to grant the benefit of the doubt. After all, in hindsight, there were good kids' movies released in this time! I was just a teenager, so they naturally weren't going to appeal to me.

Unfortunately, Middle School Mearns was right on the money with this one. "Home on the Range" is awful. It's appallingly bad in particular since it was made in 2004! This was not that long ago! And yet Disney churned out a completely boring, nonsensical dud.

It doesn't help that Roseanne is the lead. I never watched her show and thought that she annoying as all get-out long before she went completely off the deep end. Jennifer Tilly's voice is almost a salve compared to Roseanne. It's dire. And somehow Dame Judi Dench got involved with this production. I don't know who she owed money too, but she should get it back. Escape, M. Escape. (At least she got to do "Casino Royale" right after this.)

Anyway, "Home on the Range" is dreadfully tedious in so many ways. The story's weak*, the animation is unimpressive, the humor’s lame (and sometimes tasteless), the music sucks, and the characters are a drag. The non-cow animals on the farm are barely involved in the plot, Cuba Gooding Jr.'s horse is deeply unlikeable except for like two minutes (as are the two non-Tilly cows for that matter), and the movie itself seems a little bit too forgiving of the sheriff who supposedly can't do anything about all the farms being taken over. Seems like it'd be worth looking into where this wealthy "Yancy O'Dell" is coming from! But why do background checks, right?

*The story isn't helped by the fact that it was rewritten a bunch in the production of the movie and much of the original team had left by the time it was near release. Unlike on "Emperor's New Groove," they couldn't salvage this by any stretch.

Another aspect that bugged me is that Maggie (Roseanne's cow) is from another farm with a sad backstory that got taken over by the villain. At the beginning, her owner sadly sells her to the elderly woman who runs the titular home because the rest of his herd got stolen. Now, she's happy to buy Maggie, but when the sheriff suggests that she sell some of her animals to help pay the debts, she's suddenly indignant about the idea of selling animals! Didn't she literally just buy one to help someone out?

Oh, and at the end of the story when "Yancy" is revealed to be a fraud, she can keep her farm but the other guy doesn't get all his cattle or his farm back? Why? I guess the movie made it seem like he was moving to California at the beginning, so it'd be hard to get in contact with him at that point, but still! Who gets all his old cows? Maggie seemed to like her old farm too, so why couldn't they be together again?

This movie's biggest crime is being exactly what a lot of adults think that anything animated is -- mindless drivel to entertain little children. Animation can be so much better and tell stories just as captivating as anything live-action, even for kids. "Home on the Range" does none of that. It is the worst animated classic that Disney has ever made.

May it never stoop so low again.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “The Aristocats” (review) 30. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 31. “Dumbo” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “Treasure Planet” (review) 34. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 35. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 36. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 37. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 38. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 39. “Make Mine Music” (review) 40. “Brother Bear” (review) 41. “Dinosaur” (review) 42. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 43. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 44. “Melody Time” (review) 45. “Home on the Range”

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Brother Bear” (2003)

I don't know how much I can say about "Brother Bear." I can't remember many Disney films that have bored me so easily than this one.

It's a shame too, because on paper, the story is fascinating. A boy is turned into a bear after vengefully killing a bear who played a role in his brother's death, and as it turns out -- spoiler alert -- he unknowingly forms a bond with the son of the bear he killed. He must later come to terms with this awful truth and somehow salvage a relationship with both this adoptive brother, and his human brother, who is also hunting him in vengeance.

The problem? It's too heavy for Disney, and comes off as painfully sad and confused. There's probably a way to do this complicated story justice, but not in the hands of early-2000s Disney. Maybe Miyazaki could've made it work. It's heavy subject matter, but it's hard to take it seriously when "Brother Bear" crams in dumb comedic side characters who feel extraneous, bad Phil Collins songs over montages that wouldn't sniff the cut of "Tarzan," and frustratingly banal leads. Everything clashes.

The movie looks great, and the use of the northern lights makes for some breathtaking visuals. I'll give it that. And again, I'll even note that the story could've been good. In this format though? Sorry, guys. Pass.

Best song: "Great Spirits" (Hey, at least Tina Turner popped in.)

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “The Aristocats” (review) 30. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 31. “Dumbo” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “Treasure Planet” (review) 34. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 35. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 36. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 37. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 38. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 39. “Make Mine Music” (review) 40. “Brother Bear” 41. “Dinosaur” (review) 42. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 43. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 44. “Melody Time” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Treasure Planet” (2002)

"Treasure Planet" was a movie that Disney wanted to make for a long, long time. Well, specifically, its directors -- longtime Disney stalwarts John Musker and Ron Clements -- had been pining after this project for ages. This was the same duo that directed "The Little Mermaid," and they pitched "Treasure Planet" during the same meeting back in 1985. The Disney executives were less enthusiastic about the idea and kept kicking it down the road, assigning Musker and Clements to other projects, like "Aladdin" and "Hercules."

After years of success, Disney finally relented and let Musker and Clements create their passion project. They even got a huge budget for it too at $140 million, the most expensive traditionally animated film of all-time. It was a career milestone for these two Disney legends.

The end result, though? Ehhhh ... fine, I guess.

It's hard to evaluate "Treasure Planet" because there's not a great deal that is outwardly bad about it. It's a pleasant enough watch. Sure, the scenes of Jim Hawkins surfing on space sailboards through the cosmos look somewhat goofy and dated in a way that the "Lilo & Stitch" surfing scenes manage to avoid, though some of the background animation is admittedly very cool. However, the movie also relies way too much on the John Rzeznik song in a montage to demonstrate Jim and Long John Silver bonding*, forcing the audience to just kind of accept that they're close now rather than present it in a more natural way, and it's a bit too forgiving of Silver for his sabotaging crimes.

*In general, the Jim/Long John relationship is indeed one of the better parts of “Treasure Planet,” but the yada-yada montage was lame (and this is coming from a big Goo Goo Dolls fan, too). 

If anything, the movie's greatest flaw is simply somehow being generic and boring despite the fact that it's "Treasure Island" in space. That's such a cool concept in theory! The source material is superb fodder for great characters, but these folks are just bland as hell. Dr. Doppler and Captain Amelia cease being at least mildly interesting supporting characters at least halfway through the film, when it's decided that they're just going to eventually get together. They had more to offer when they were playing off Jim -- the semi-respected authority figure from home and the ship captain justifiably skeptical of what a kid could offer -- but to each other? Meh. And the less said about Martin Short's annoying robot who randomly takes over the story about two-thirds of the way through, the better.

The biggest problem working against "Treasure Planet" is that the Muppets and Tim Curry did a far superior kids' version of "Treasure Island" just six years prior. It wasn't in space, but I doubt that I experienced a single second of watching "Treasure Planet" without thinking in the back of my mind about how much I'd rather be watching "Muppet Treasure Island." The characters are better, the story and connections feel more organic, and Long John Silver steals the show without being completely let off the hook. As I was writing this, I was motivated to watch the scene of Long John and Jim's bittersweet farewell in the Muppet version, and Curry is just so good in it. I know it's not always fair to compare other actors to Curry, but it's such a contrast.

I do feel bad because I'm sure it hurt Musker and Clements to see their long-dreamed film turn into such a dud. Thankfully, they did not retire from the business just yet, and in fact would later turn in perhaps the best Disney movie of this century. Maybe that was the real gold that they sought at the end of their journey in animation.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” (review) 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “The Aristocats” (review) 30. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 31. “Dumbo” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “Treasure Planet” 34. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 35. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 36. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 37. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 38. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 39. “Make Mine Music” (review) 40. “Dinosaur” (review) 41. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 42. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 43. “Melody Time” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

“Lilo & Stitch” (2002)

My review could probably be succinctly done in a single sentence: "Lilo & Stitch" walked so that "Frozen" could run.

To go into more detail though, "Lilo & Stitch" is just a great, original story. I think one could make the case that this is the best Disney non-musical ever made. I would probably lean "Emperor's New Groove" and “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” by a hair, but it's a razor-thin margin.

What makes "Lilo & Stitch" so good is the human half of the equation. Lilo and her sister, Nani, have a relationship that is simultaneously complex and yet easy for kids to understand. You'd be hard-pressed to find any kid who has a completely perfect bond with a sibling. It's made all the more difficult by the fact that -- like "Frozen" -- both their parents tragically died in an accident and the older sister had to step in as both mom and sister. It's something that no family should have to overcome, and yet Lilo and Nani have to find a way.

They endlessly frustrate each other, and Nani feels like she has no answers as she tries to juggle any kind of job with responsibility over a strange, rambunctious kid. Even the gruff social worker knows that she's trying her hardest; it's just a brutal situation made all the more difficult by the fact that both Lilo and Nani remember when they could simply be sisters.

Lilo gets a taste of her own medicine with Stitch, the alien who crashed on Earth and ended up in her house by disguising himself as a dog to adopt. He's as unruly as any creature suddenly arriving on an entirely new planet would be, and there's only so much that she can do to rein him in as well. When Stitch prepares to leave toward the end of the second act, Lilo feels about as defeated as Nani did when she realized that she was probably powerless to prevent the social worker from taking Lilo away. It's such a wonderful, subtle way to show Lilo comprehending one lesson of growing up.

Stitch adds to the heart of the movie on his own, too. He's there for comic relief and for everyone else -- including other aliens -- to be flabbergasted by how to deal with him, but as he grows closer with Lilo, he realizes that he wants people to care for him, too. If it means ultimately revealing to a hurt Lilo that he's an alien and not a dog, then so be it. And hey, who doesn't want to do all that while also listening to a bunch of Elvis, too?

Know what else is great about this movie? The depiction of the island of Kauaʻi. It just looks fantastic while also not whitewashing too much of the culture, either. There might not be big cities on Kauaʻi, but there sure are still tourists who control a good chunk of the island's economy (as Nani endures). I also just enjoy a good, relaxing surfing montage. Blame "Point Break," I don't know.

I think the only aspect of "Lilo & Stitch" that keeps it from topping "Emperor's New Groove" is that most of the non-Stitch alien plots don't interest me. They're not very entertaining characters, and every time they're on screen, I just wish that we were back in Hawaii. I understand that they're there to serve the purposes of the plot (which wraps up a bit too tidily for my liking), but still. The folks at Disney are imaginative enough that they could have done better.

Oh well. "Lilo & Stitch" revolves around family anyway, not aliens. They drive that point home with the frequent mentions of the "'Ohana' means family" line. There's a reason for it, and it's excellent.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “Lilo & Stitch” 13. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 14. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 15. “Fantasia” (review) 16. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 17. “Tarzan” (review) 18. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 19. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 20. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 21. “Pinocchio” (review) 22. “Robin Hood” (review) 23. “Oliver & Company” (review) 24. “Hercules” (review) 25. “Pocahontas” (review) 26. “The Rescuers” (review) 27. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 28. “Bambi” (review) 29. “The Aristocats” (review) 30. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 31. “Dumbo” (review) 32. “Peter Pan” (review) 33. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 34. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 35. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 36. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (review) 37. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 38. “Make Mine Music” (review) 39. “Dinosaur” (review) 40. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 41. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 42. “Melody Time” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

"Atlantis: The Lost Empire" (2001)

Man, wasn't "The Emperor's New Groove" fun? That team managed to pull an engaging, hilarious movie out of their asses after everything had to be overhauled late in production, and they didn't even have to make it a musical to do it. If someone told me that "Atlantis: The Lost Empire" was solely planned to make the achievements of "Emperor's New Groove" look all the more incredible by comparison, then I'd almost believe it.

Okay, it's not totally fair to directly match those two movies up to each other just because they're not musicals and were released back-to-back. "Atlantis" is not a comedy. It's meant to be an adventure where the main thrill for the audience is learning about a new world. And to be fair, the art and animation of the titular lost civilization is fantastic! Comic book artist Mike Mignola was the genius behind the unique style, and it really is memorable. Creating a new language is no small feat, either; all credit goes to the man who invented Klingon.

The problem with "Atlantis" is the same problem as "Dinosaur." The story and characters just aren't nearly good enough to match the yeoman's work of the animators. It's better than "Dinosaur," but not by a great deal.

The plot revolves around Milo, who is your basic misunderstood geek. He's smart and well-intentioned, but has problems expressing himself. It's a familiar concept and fine, but not enough to make this a good movie. When the opportunity of a lifetime (two lifetimes if you count how invested his grandfather was in the idea) to try to discover Atlantis, he launches himself into it and becomes the audience surrogate for enjoying all the beauty within the lost city – and for experiencing all the terror of getting there in the first place.

Oh, did I not mention the deaths? If you thought that other Disney movies were morbidly obsessed with death, wait until you see "Atlantis." First, almost all the Atlanteans (not to be confused with ATLiens) died when Atlantis sank, as shown in the intro. Then, an estimated 171 members of the crew searching for Atlantis with Milo perish when the Leviathan attacks them. Fourteen more die in the rest of the movie, including the Atlantean king and the two primary antagonists, Rourke and Helga. It's a bloodbath, and it's not very pleasant. (Oh, and Milo's an orphan, and the queen of Atlantis mysteriously disappearing has lasting trauma on the king and princess. Because why not?)

Speaking of those villains, they suck! They're just generic one-note baddies who are only interested in Atlantis for the money. Now, plenty of Disney villains are mostly one-note, but the good versions pull it off through entertaining character traits – think Cruella de Vil or Ratigan. Rourke and Helga are just assholes who like being assholes, and not in a fun way. I did enjoy them turning on each other at the end – even though Helga absolutely should’ve died on impact from falling that high a height – but that's about it.

Know who else sucks? Rourke's entire crew!* They decide to be dickbags to Milo for no real reason at the beginning of their trip, only play nice when the plot says that it's time for them to feel a little guilty, and even though they enabled a known sociopath in Rourke to lead an assault, they get to return to the surface rich beyond their dreams. Great. There's something to be said for second chances and forgiveness, especially since one of the reasons they turn their backs on Rourke is that continuing to follow orders would lead to Atlantean deaths, and I give credit to Milo at least for calling them out on their bullshit. Even at the end though, I can't look at these people as anything other than opportunists. They deserved to survive, but to profit? Get outta here.

*And that's to say nothing of their characters because they aren't interesting. It's hard to make an ensemble all compelling, but compare them to say, the members of the household in "Beauty and the Beast." Hell, if you don't want to compare to elite Disney, match them up with the dog gang in "Oliver & Company." It's not even close.

It's disappointing that the Atlanteans aren't much fun to watch, either. Only the king and his daughter, Kida (the bland love interest), get any development at all, and they basically serve as much worse versions of King Triton and Ariel. Everyone else? Who cares? We have to spend more time with the assholes on the crew and Milo.

I wish this movie was better. Animated adventures can be so imaginative and captivating! Think how fun it was to watch Moana set out on the open sea, or for the Rescuers to explore Australia! "Atlantis" had a whole legendary kingdom to work with and only came up with admittedly cool art. The characters could have been so much better. It's a damn shame.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” (review) 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 13. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 14. “Fantasia” (review) 15. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 16. “Tarzan” (review) 17. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 18. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 19. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 20. “Pinocchio” (review) 21. “Robin Hood” (review) 22. “Oliver & Company” (review) 23. “Hercules” (review) 24. “Pocahontas” (review) 25. “The Rescuers” (review) 26. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 27. “Bambi” (review) 28. “The Aristocats” (review) 29. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 30. “Dumbo” (review) 31. “Peter Pan” (review) 32. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 33. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 34. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 35. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” 36. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 37. “Make Mine Music” (review) 38. “Dinosaur” (review) 39. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 40. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 41. “Melody Time” (review)

#disney

[mearnsblog]

"The Emperor's New Groove" (2000)

As previously mentioned, the turn of the century was not an especially enthralling era for the Disney Animation Studios. It was already a big drop in quality from the sensational "Mulan" to the just-fine "Tarzan," and neither "Fantasia 2000" nor "Dinosaur" turned out to have any lasting power. Most of the next several films after this one were not game-changers either.

Thankfully, "The Emperor's New Groove" is an exception in that it is exceptional in every sense of the word. What a fun movie! Sometimes, you don't have to think too hard to produce a quality animated film.

Such praise is somewhat ironic though. Behind the scenes of "Emperor's New Groove" was a vast story in its own right. It was originally planned as a classic Disney musical titled "Kingdom of the Sun" and would have featured a "Prince and the Pauper"-esque storyline with songs featuring Sting (like Phil Collins in "Tarzan"). There's a whole documentary about what happened to transform the film, but the short version is that Disney producers didn't like what was being made and told the team that they needed to overhaul almost everything. (Vulture recently did a great oral history on the whole process.)

So instead of a musical, we got a buddy comedy with two characters who look nothing like each other and a new story altogether. The funny thing is that the scramble to change everything (complete with a new director) worked like a charm. I would've been fascinated to see "Kingdom of the Sun," but I have no problems whatsoever with "Emperor's New Groove."

*A couple songs did sneak in, and they do work for what the movie actually turned out to be.

2000 was about the peak of David Spade's brand of sarcastic humor, and it's top-notch here as Kuzco. I've made my love of arrogant bastards known here before, and he works as a great antagonist of his own story in the first half of the movie. Yzma's a great villain, too! Eartha Kitt was an incredible get for this role, and while her song was cut since it no longer made much sense in the revised story, it's very good. There's a fine line to walk to be a standout Disney villain, and comedy is key. Both Spade and Kitt excel.

On the other side of the main cast, John Goodman is instantly likeable as Pacha and makes for a a fine audience surrogate to bear the brunt of frustration with Kuzco. You spend so much of the first 40 minutes or so of the movie furious that Kuzco won't stop being an asshole for just one minute and help the decent guy out! Of course when Kuzco finally gets humbled, it's rewarding to see their bond develop. I like that Pacha sets boundaries, too. He does everything he can to change Kuzco's behavior but finally does have to throw up his hands at one point and acknowledge that Kuzco must improve on his own. And he does!

Patrick Warburton? Patrick Warburton. Thank you for Kronk, Patrick Warburton. Nothing else needs to be said.

For simply being a straightforward, great movie, "Emperor's New Groove" gets a lofty spot on this list, and the only reason it doesn't place higher is that the movies above it are just elite. They take bigger swings and hit monster home runs. "Emperor's New Groove" is like a leadoff triple. No one's going to complain about it! Homers are just better.

It might be the Disney animated of its kind anyway. It'd be hard to top the pure comedy. BOOM, BABY.

Updated ranking

1. “Beauty and the Beast” (review) 2. “The Lion King” (review) 3. “The Little Mermaid” (review) 4. “Cinderella” (review) 5. “Mulan” (review) 6. “Sleeping Beauty” (review) 7. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” (review) 8. “Aladdin” (review) 9. “The Emperor’s New Groove” 10. “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” (review) 11. “The Jungle Book” (review) 12. “The Great Mouse Detective” (review) 13. “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” (review) 14. “Fantasia” (review) 15. “The Rescuers Down Under” (review) 16. “Tarzan” (review) 17. “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” (review) 18. “Alice in Wonderland” (review) 19. “Lady and the Tramp” (review) 20. “Pinocchio” (review) 21. “Robin Hood” (review) 22. “Oliver & Company” (review) 23. “Hercules” (review) 24. “Pocahontas” (review) 25. “The Rescuers” (review) 26. “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (review) 27. “Bambi” (review) 28. “The Aristocats” (review) 29. “Fantasia 2000″ (review) 30. “Dumbo” (review) 31. “Peter Pan” (review) 32. “Fun and Fancy Free” (review) 33. “The Fox and the Hound” (review) 34. “The Sword in the Stone” (review) 35. “The Three Caballeros” (review) 36. “Make Mine Music” (review) 37. “Dinosaur” (review) 38. “The Black Cauldron” (review) 39. “Saludos Amigos” (review) 40. “Melody Time” (review)

#disney