meandsomemore

[meandsomemore]

Ada Limón interviewed by Lauren LeBlanc

[meandsomemore]

love will feel (and maybe even be) so much more accessible when you stop thinking of it as this grand thing you have to be deserving of. it’s small, it’s in short moments, it’s in quick gestures, it’s in normal everyday things. when you think of it as something you have to discover or catch or deserve, you’ll miss how alive it already is all around you.

[meandsomemore]

Time

Time

Running out of time

Trying to find some peace of mind

Going in circles

Chasing my thoughts

As they scatter around

Feeling chaos

Can I finally sleep?

And dream a little dream

Makin my body less weak

Now my body tensing up

With all the things i haven't done

Asking myself Is this really worth some?

While sitting in my boredom

I've lost hope in myself

And what i've really done

Thinking can i get better

Than my past contenders

No authenticity

In what is really me

In what i write

And what it be

Feeling like all i do

Is sit ‘round and rhyme

Missing the fire

I once ignited with desire

Sparking ideas

Someone pass me a lighter

Missing those days

When id write till i seen old age

Now i see myself wither

Can't even see the bigger picture

Trapped in myself

Too afraid to go get help

Maybe one day ill express how i really felt

To a world with no help

Asking god is it really safe

To live my life this way

When i want a life

Thats worth more than a price

And some change

But is this really right

To run around and lose sight

In the midst of all i truly spite

I wake up in tears

Tryna get rid of these fears

Running away from

What i must truly say

That people’s thoughts

keep getting in my head

Cluttering what's already been there instead

Making less room

For all those voices to go boom

Askin’ myself

Can i truly get out this Doom

And let myself fully bloom

Suffocated from all i'm trying to say

Can i please get out this place

Till i finally feel safe

To express my words

In a way i'll truly be heard

And stop tossin me to dirt

Cause this shit really hurt

And i'm feelin real thirst

For all the ways i haven't learned

How to truly grow

In a space with no flow

Cause i no longer

Can keep choking myself

To silence the things

That tell me I should follow my dreams

When will i learn

That i'm as free as a bird

As long as i see

To the third degree

That im truly blessed

to be all that is me

[Interlude] Unattainable

I stop my excitement

Just to try and fight it

So i dont re-ignite it

From myself and all those others

Who believe i can go higher

In a world without desires

To make me feel lighter

Pushing all the things

That make me believe

That this high is by surprise

How long can i live this lie

Why wont i let myself fly

Saying it’s easier to look down

And not try

Encouragement feeling more foreign

Than the bank accounts of all those tourin’

Just to say they feel clout

For those thoughts always filled with doubt

I wonder when i’ll finally see

What it means to be me

In a world filled with greed

Making me hungry for a g

Seeing fame and praise

Shine bright in my name

Hoping for the day

I'll be on a big stage

And make it out this place

#poetry #poems #black poets #creativity #black poems #guidelines

[meandsomemore]

This Bedroom

Limiting myself

To this isolated room

Taking away all my creativity

As I feel doom

This room

Locking me up

And straddling me in

Telling me i'm not good enough

Outside of this space i'm within

This room

Square shaped

Box shaped

4x4

Locking me in until I cant do this no more

Trapping me of my dreams

Of my hopes and wishes

Of my desires

Making thoughts even lighter

Taking the weight off of a life filled with goals 

Replacing it with the heaviness

I feel when i dream anything

bigger than me all alone

This bedroom

Locking me in

And locking me out

Of a dream filled with self doubt

Feeling unheard

Unlistened to

Not understood

Except the voices in my head

Telling me to get out of bed

While i sit there

Ignoring it's rings

Sending it straight to voicemail

While i waste away in my own stink

The foul scent of one who chooses

To stay in the confines of where

She's outgrown

Where she can no longer be

Choosing to find comfort in a place

She no longer needs to see

To settle in a place

Just to find a stopping ground

Because she’s tired of floating

Hoping to bring back

The gravity she gave away

Rushing herself into a groundless place

Allowing herself to float as she asks

“Who put me up there?”

And “why can't I come down?”

Why...can't...I...come...down?

What's stopping me from

bringing myself down

where I can finally feel found?

In myself

Finding comfort in ambition

Why am I so afraid to strive?

For something greater?

I'm afraid to finally feel sane

Anxiety rushes through my body

As I try to stop myself from

Doing all the things

Im meant to start proudly

Putting myself through

This cycling of pain

Can i really let myself Feel vain?

Vain in my work

In my desires to do stronger

Than my past

What would my life look like If i made this shit last?

Can I really move past?

And put the old me

In the back while i try to move on

Into someone i must become

Why haven't i had my death

For the past behaviors

That no longer serves me?

Where is my eulogy for those bad behaviors

That kept me feeling unlike me?

That let me sit in my pain

And not live my life this way

Where is my eulogy?

For the me that felt

She needed permission to just be her?

Who felt unsafe in her own body

And doubted every decision

That didn't come with precision

Who was afraid to feel

Because feeling required me

To stray away from my head

And without that i felt dead

Giving myself up to a feeling

That had no support

Or evidence from my head

To think or not to think?

That is the question

But the only question for me,

Why would i choose to go off what i feel

When everything is telling me It's not real

I think before i am

And i shouldn't praise due

To a mentality

That got me feeling stuck

In my own body

Like it's an autonomy

Crippling anxiety

Being created from

the crippling insides of me

When my voice is quiet

The loudness inside

The back of my head

Fills my world instead

Pre-occupying my time

Spent living in my head

Creating a home out of doubt and fears

And stagnation

Too afraid to take the first step

Because the first step means

I have to leave the place i find comfort

And i don't want to leave home

My mind being the unsafe captivator

Reeling me in with all that's bad for me

Presenting cookies of deception

Milk of failure

And sweets of anxiety

And my hansel and gretel mentality

Willingly walked into the witches home

Creating a false sense of peace of mind

Stationing myself in there

I let my kidnapper become my lover

As the thoughts begin to feel warm

I guess that's what they call stockholm

The words of “you won't be able to do that.”

Brings me seduction

As the “that's too big for you to do”

Becomes sweet words to my deafening ears

“What will you do? You don't know what you’ll do?”

“Is this even what you want to do?”

Sings to me as I let it sting to me

sinking into my anxiety

Lying next to me as i lay in bed

Not having left in two moons

The words accompanied by the pressures of others

Filling my skull as i become

Engulfed by opinions and thoughts

Of others wanting to make room

from a head that's already at full capacity

“Will these be the one? Will I make it with this one?”

Giving myself a timer to measure my speed of when I’ll finally be free

From the pressures to break free from a life asking too much of me

To get out the slums, out the ghetto of my mind

Of my situation in a time that i can finally live in peace

Hit pause and not need to rewind

Content with where i'm at

No longer questioning do i need to work harder

Am I living just to live or am I living to make it big?

And what and who defines what's big?

What is it and why am i putting all these pressures

On myself to outlive my pains and all my worries

I guess i'm just trying to prove

To myself and others that this was all worth it

That me moving back home, no job, sitting at home

Was all worth it

And it was because i healed a lot

I spent a year healing and that was a lot

Bringing me closer to myself than I've ever been

Unlocking so much truths and pain

That the biggest work was myself

And it continues to be

#guidelines #poetry #poems #black poets #black poems #writing #writer #creativity #this could also be called euology or where is my eulogy #theres an interlude second part in this long poem lol

[meandsomemore]

Posting my poems, “Guidelines”

im going to start posting more of my poems here because why not someone needs to see them. the first ones will be in a series called "Guidelines". Ever growing, ever changing but this is what it is right now

#poetry #poems #writing #poet #writer #blackwriter #black poet #learning #fuck it #guidelines

[meandsomemore]

“When you don’t know there is something worse, more difficult, you tend to focus on your little pains and think ‘Ah, I have it so bad’. But you shouldn’t complain about a headache when someone beside you has a bullet wound.”

— K’naan (via gwendolynlives)

[meandsomemore]

[meandsomemore]

i’m dead i’ve watched this scene so many times

I haven’t seen literally anyone else mention this scene and it’s my favorite joke from the entire show

#like like a baby?? #thats a baby dave #cracks me up every time!!

[meandsomemore]

i love steven universe

Poor little Steven’s got some sensitive ears.

#i get this #especially when u have psychic or supernatural abilities ur sensitive to ur senses a lot like hyper #its actually pretty cool since youre so intuned with urself youre intuned with everyone #i love this show lol

[meandsomemore]

[meandsomemore]

Yang Na - Unicorn, 2020

[meandsomemore]

Leonardo Scotti

[meandsomemore]

the fact that this terrorist violence happened in the capitol by white supremacy literally trying to uphold racism and the way they were treated compared to black people protesting FOR THEIR LIVES is so absurd to me

[meandsomemore]

Ifeoma Nwobu (2020) by gbengaphotos

[meandsomemore]

Frosta, an absolute gremlin

instagram // twitter

[meandsomemore]

She ra (80s) | She ra (18-20)

Adora

Catra

Glimmer

Bow

Part 2 >

[meandsomemore]

She ra (80s) | She ra (18-20)

Scorpia

Perfuma

Frosta

Mermista

Sea Hawk

< Part 1 ||| Part 3>