marshmalloboy

[marshmalloboy]

for context, john pemberton is the inventor of coca-cola

#hazbin hotel #sir pentious #john pemberton

[marshmalloboy]

✨ Happy Threshold Day Everyone ✨ (idea shamelessly taken from @thealienisacarpet’s delightful post)

#queuing this in January of 2023

[marshmalloboy]

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #al capone

[marshmalloboy]

Some computer related jobs will periodically send you emails posing as phishing scams and if you open it you automatically have to take a web safety training seminar and I just think they should do that for tumblr except with reading comprehension

[marshmalloboy]

It annoys me unreasonably when you want to ask people "what bird and what mammal would make the worst gryphon" as a fun thought exercise, and people with no joy and no imagination always interpret it as "a gryphon that sucks, is physically impossible, and would hate being alive", and - being predictable and lacking in imagination - always, always answer with "a hummingbird and a blue whale lol".

Like come on. Why do you have to suck the fun out of everything. Why not use a fraction of imagination and delightful whimsy. Imagine the combination of a mouse and a sparrow. That creature would be merciless, burtal, absolutely determined to get into your trash and has the power of both wings and hands to do its will. Or a crow and a cat - that thing is smart enough to fuck with people and not afraid to do it. Imagine the ungodly shriek of the noble fox-seagull, also determined to get into your trash.

A gryphon that is a combination of a kangaroo and a cassowary. The only proof we have of a loving god is the fact that those things do not exist. If hell is real, it's full of them. That thing can't fly, but it will run you down, it will kill you, and you will look stupid the whole entire time you're dying.

Why would the first thing that pops into your mind at the words "the worst gryphon" automatically be "a gryphon that hates being alive". Can you not picture a gryphon that fucking loves being alive, and has both the power and the will to make it everyone else's problem.

[marshmalloboy]

I swear to god that green day has had this exact same "scandal" like five times now.

[marshmalloboy]

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[marshmalloboy]

Criminal: "Nice try, you won't get me with Bad Cop / Tree Cop."

Cop 1: "Where's the body you scumbag!? I swear I'll cut you."

Cop 2: "Oughhh my branches are so full of apples."

[marshmalloboy]

having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i don’t remember a single thing about it. but it did

[marshmalloboy]

The difference between 👀 and 👁️👁️ to me

[marshmalloboy]

Thinking about how my mom tried to “seduce” my dad when they were in college together by sneaking oranges into his backpack, because she grew up food insecure and feeding someone/sharing food was a big deal with her upbringing with a lot of emotional meaning–

and meanwhile my poor dad is just convinced that he’s been haunted by some citrus poltergeist because why the fuck are there always oranges in his bag he swears he did not put there???

[marshmalloboy]

Oooo babygirl your autistic mannerisms are captivating

[marshmalloboy]

Hehe more memes bitches

[marshmalloboy]

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

[marshmalloboy]

Sucks that "sleeping together" refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.