maphix

[maphix]

my blog is a safe space for me. the rest of you are in danger i think

[maphix]

love ignoring things ‘have you seen this terrible show’ no im the ignorer ‘can you believe what that company tweeted yesterday’ i am the ignorer

[maphix]

im just fucking with you my liege

[maphix]

☞ THUS

[maphix]

hey. im one of the people who does a specific and noticable thing right after you wake up so you realize youre in a timeloop. yeah im the guy who drops a bucket of paint off a ladder haha. yeah its a thankless job but i get paid per loop so like. dont learn your lesson too quick haha

[maphix]

Bewildering experience at work today when someone walked up and wished me happy birthday.

1. It is not my birthday

2. It is Daniels birthday, which was posted hours ago in slack

3. Daniel does not even work in my department

4. I've never even met Daniel. Clearly this woman has never met Daniel either if she doesn't know where he works or what he looks like. Does Daniel even exist

[maphix]

babygirl Im balding over you

Glue it back on

[maphix]

I think I'll be the first mortal victim of imposter syndrome

[maphix]

every dad reaches a point where they text you to say that a celebrity has passed away with no context

[maphix]

Trudging home from work, tired, only to discover 8 cops in the hallways. Apparently in a building filled with geriatrics, someone threatened to kill their wife and bomb her workplace. Man I just want to shower and go to bed

[maphix]

By funglazie

[maphix]

I love dark chocolate and dark roast coffee. I would probably also enjoy eating coal.

[maphix]

boys go to Jupiter to get. On the compupiter :)

[maphix]

i miss the real gun emoji so much

[maphix]

I was trying to photograph a pair of water rail when these two idiots decided to start slapping the crap out of each other

[maphix]

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

[maphix]

i do