manhandlingmayhem

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Alex: I feel so terrible, in the time I spend with Scorpia I ...broke into like two houses.

Kyra: THATS NOT EVEN A CRIME

Jack, The Lawyer:

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Alex: *to Blunt* at this point i shouldn't be alive, but I am and I'm gonna make that your problem

#alex rider

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I love how this showed up on my feed cause I follow the whump tag.

We’re all just living our weird little secret life down here in the tumblr sewers and this poor person accidentally peaked under the manhole cover.

I'm sorry but like. I dont know the meaning of 'whump' or any of its variants but it's so much of a funny word. I keep seeing posts where it's like 'the whumpee' the fuckinh what. 'the whumper'. what kind of silly fun house shit are yall talking about. what.

#what the fuck theres a whumpblr tag #i’m dying #whumpblr #whump

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Your father was a hero. They both were. Alex Rider, S03E07 - The Shot

#the bridge scene tho #so satisfying #alex rider

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Hey. Get those off him! Alex Rider

#I love them all #so protective #my boys #alex rider

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Yeah, I’d watch Muppets Lord of the Rings

#miss piggy is Eowyn #Aragorn is a real person and Faramir is Kermit

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Daredevil 2x03

requested by anon

#daredevil #punisher

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how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

#thank god #tumblr stuff #tumblr tips

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the thing is, also... every discussion about Whether The MCU Is Garbage or Is Disney Irredeemably Evil or Has Star Wars Gone On Too Long or Why Does It Feel Like There's Been Just Three Shows On American TV For The Past 3 Decades inevitably ends up at "hey but don't shame people for wanting to have fun and escape the continuous nightmare of late capitalism for 2 hours a night" and like. fair. being effortlessly entertained is a valid desire that deserves to be fulfilled. but the thing is. and I really don't wanna be That Guy but. if you're coming back home from your soul-crushing corporate job into your alienated nuclear household, tired from a busy day of doing some bullshit to make a living, and you feel dead inside, and your idea of escape is to tune into the next installment of something that's not really cinema as much as like, a long serialised commercial for the fast fashion items with the popular character of the month, then I'm sorry bro but you're not really going anywhere. you're not escaping, you're sinking deeper in. and look. it's your god given right to watch schlocky TV and then go read fanfic about it. but if you're wondering why all this dazzling entertainment still leaves you feeling so empty you just wanna scream and scream and scream, then you might actually have an acute case of going too long without consuming any media that has an intent beyond draining your money and time and a formula beyond regurgitating what sold best last year

#we need to demand better because we deserve better #media is for the soul and I don’t like feeding mine junk food all the time

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#alex rider #alex rider tv

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It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

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more correct quotes

#out of context text posts are my favorite tumblr thing #dune

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#yup #rizz

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guess what I just found out

#the girl who waited #doctor who #amy pond

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#oh no #I’m the age demo of Seinfeld #when did that happen 😑

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The Doctor and The Master implies a third, less prestigious renegade timelord named The Bachelor