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malfoyswhxre · 2 years

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𝟜 𝕤𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 // 𝕕𝕞 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 → 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕦𝕡 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕕𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕗𝕠𝕪

𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥 → 𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥,, 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜 𝕦𝕡,, 𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕤𝕞𝕦𝕥,, 𝕗𝕖𝕞 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟,, 𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕝𝕪𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕤/𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕦𝕖 ��𝕗 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 → 𝟚.𝟙𝕜

𝕒/𝕟 → 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕦𝕝…

breaking up with draco malfoy… there wasn’t much that you could say about it besides that it hurt. it hurt so bad. more than any pain you’ve ever experienced in your life.

but it didn’t hurt in a normal way. it didn’t hurt when he looked at you and said “i love you so so much. but i can’t do this anymore.” it didn’t hurt when he gave you the box of all your stuff in his dorm. it didn’t hurt when you gave him back all of his stuff. it didn’t even hurt when you set his ring in his open palm and he gently kissed your knuckles with tear-filled eyes.

it hurt late at night. when you were laying in bed and you couldn’t find just the right position to be comfortable enough to fall asleep. when you realized that you couldn’t sleep because you were missing him. because your body wasn’t molded against his and his fingers weren’t trekking through your hair like they always did.

it hurt when you’d go into the great hall and you had to bypass him and his friends and sit somewhere else. when you weren’t practically sitting in his lap as you ate your food. when your plate and your tea weren’t already perfectly made for you… because you were no longer sitting with him.

it hurt when you’d see him smile, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes the way it used to. when you’d catch him standing outside of the great hall, awaiting your arrival to hold your hand when you walked in. but then see his face fall as he realized that it was no longer his job to do so. when you’d catch him staring at you with heartbreak written all over his face because you knew he missed you just as much as you missed him. but his parents just wouldn’t allow the two of you to be together.

it hurt the most when the seasons changed. his love wouldn’t release you. you were bound under ball and chain, reminiscing your love as you watched the four seasons change.

when the winter breeze blew in, chilling the air and drifting the snow. when all you could imagine was kissing him under the mistletoe.

when your mind was plagued with all the memories the two of you had made over the years of being together. your first moments when he asked you to go with him to the yule ball. when he spun you around the dance floor, wearing a slytherin green dress that he’d used his allowance to buy you.

it hurt when you would recall all the christmas gifts exchanged over the years. your first christmas together when he bought you a stuffed teddy bear, dressed in a slytherin quidditch uniform and adorning his number on the jersey. and you had gotten him a watch with his initials engraved on it. one he hadn’t taken off since the day he opened it. one that continues to adorn his left wrist to this day.

it hurt when the first snow would fall. and you would remember dragging him out of bed early on saturday mornings to play in the snow with you. when you’d be in the snow for hours together, throwing snowballs, and making snowman families and snow angels. remember how after your fingers were practically frostbitten, and your limbs had gone numb from the cold, he would lead you back up to his dorm—allowing you to shower and dress in his clothes. then as soon as you’d come out, he’d have a big mug of hot cocoa waiting for you, topped with whipped cream and marshmallows.

when you’d feel your barren left ring finger, and remember the christmas when he gifted you the most gorgeous promise ring you had ever laid eyes on. the gorgeous diamonds glittering in the sunshine as you wore it proudly. and the band of it was engraved with the lyrics to your “couple song.” maybe some things last forever after all.

when you’d reach up to nervously fidget with the chains adorning your neck, but found that it now had one less chain on it. previously there were three; one that had the malfoy family crest ring hanging from it, the other two marked with stamps of your boyfri—ex boyfriend. a gold one, that read his name, and a silver one that held a diamond-studded ‘d’ for draco.

you found it hard to part with them. and when you saw draco, aimlessly roaming the halls of hogwarts, you knew he had too. for rested just underneath the shirt of his all black suit, hanging from his neck were two chains, identical to yours. however, his read your name, and had a diamond studded charm with your initial.

when you’d see him, you knew he was taking the breakup just as hard as you were. and you knew that this one especially would be inexplicably hard to overcome.

it hurt when springtime made its way, and the lilac blooms never failed to remind you of the scent of the perfume he’d buy you.

spring was always the hardest season to live without him. you missed the sun reflecting off of the diamond that previously held his promise ring.

you missed him coming to your dorm, just to give you the prettiest bouquet of flowers you’d ever seen in your life. he’d explained the first time that he was gonna go to hogsmeade and buy you some, but he’d run out of time and the florists closed. however, when he saw the way your eyes lit up and you stared at him in adoration, he decided that day that he’d pick flowers for you all the time.

it hurt when friday came around and there was no knock on your door, and no awaiting platinum blonde, holding a bouquet of hand picked flowers in an all black suit with a shy smile. it hurt when you would walk through the halls of the castle sans draco. without spending the afternoon in his t-shirt and a pair of jeans, and when the nights got chilly, you’d have to put on your own sweatshirt for warmth.

it hurt when you went to sit in the gardens to study, and he wasn’t beside you—coaching you through your defense against the dark arts homework. when you’d remember dramatically flopping into his chest at the garden and ranting about how you’d never be an auror with the marks you’d been receiving in the class. and when you wouldn’t hear his chuckle and murmur of “quite the thrill for the theatrics, yeah pretty girl?” as he kissed your head and reopened your textbook to teach you the lesson in a way you’d actually understood.

it hurt the most when you’d waken up one morning to find that the bottle of lilac perfume that he bought you was running low. and you were running out of things to remind you of the ache he’d left in your heart when he broke it. when you realized that he’d never told you where he’d bought it from, you’d just receive a package from your owl with a brand new bottle.

it hurt even more the next day when your owl dropped a package in front of you at the great hall and you opened it to find a brand new bottle of your favorite perfume. and it tore your heart to shreds when you turned and locked eyes with the sullen gray ones of draco malfoy, decorated with dark bags and pain as he shot you a small, heartbroken smile.

it hurt when summer burned with heat and you’d get the hots for him. when you would go skinny dipping in the ocean the way the two of you used to do.

the first day of summer would always bring a tear to your eye. and you’d always go down to the private beach that your family had, laying in the sun to tan. it hurt when there was no one there to kneel over you and drip water down onto your heated body and convince you to come play in the waves.

it hurt even more when you didn’t have anybody to rub aloe into their shoulder because they’d failed to heed your warnings of applying more sunscreen. without draco, you laid lonely in the sand, enjoying the sweltering heat of the summer sun with nobody to pick you up and drag you into the waves.

it hurt when night time rolled around, and the sun begin to set, but the heat festered on. when you’d pull off your bathing suit and finally dipped your naked body into the waves, just the way you did when draco spent summers with you at your family beach house.

it hurt when you’d go back up to your room and shower, laying in bed with the inability to satiate the tingle between your legs. when you’d close your eyes and dip your fingers into your leaking hole, imagining he was the one working you to orgasm.

but it just wasn’t as powerful without him. your fingers could never twist the way his did, would never reach the same spots his did, and you definitely could never work yourself the way his tongue never failed to. your fingers didn’t compare to him, and neither did any toy you previously owned, or any new ones you bought.

your heart missed him… and so did your body.

it hurt the most when autumn shed the leaves. the trees were bare and he wasn’t there, it just didn’t feel the same.

when you arrived at the platform at nine and three quarters and you realized that there was no one to put your trunk away for you. when you sat in a compartment by yourself because your boyfri—ex boyfriend’s, you don’t know if you’d ever be used to calling him that—friends were your friends. so without him… you didn’t have much of anyone left.

sure you had acquaintances, but no one that you knew—or liked—enough to want to spend hours on a train ride with them.

it hurt when you weren’t curled into his bicep as you talked all about your summer—even though you had just seen him no less than two weeks ago at the manor. when you drew a picture, and he wasn’t there to praise how amazing the flower looked and asking if he could keep it and hang it up in his dorm.

it twisted your heart when you tied your own tie once you’d changed into your uniform and realized that you no longer had to tie draco’s as well. he knew very well how to tie his own, but both of you liked the domesticity of you doing it for him.

it ached when you didn’t have a hand rested on your thigh. when you didn’t have someone feeding you jelly slugs and kissing your head. you missed the kisses he would lay on the crown of your head. you missed the feeling of him mindlessly playing with your hair as you fell asleep on his lap. but you missed waking up with his suit jacket wrapped around your shoulders because you’d shivered in your sleep even more.

nothing felt the same without him. sure, you did the same activities as you always did. but without draco they just seemed pointless. you missed him… in every sense of the word. your mind missed him, your heart missed him, your body missed him… you missed him.

you longed for the warmth of the days that had gone by. when he was your’s, and now the days were nothing but memories in time. life felt empty without him by your side. your heart belonged to him… no matter what you tried to let him go.

whenever you’d gather the courage to love someone new, it always fell apart. they just couldn’t compare to draco. until he releases you, you’d be bound under ball and chain. reminiscing your love as you watched the four seasons pass along.

the loneliness had ended up crushing your heart. you begged for merlin or anyone that would listen to please let you love again.

because you needed his love to comfort you and ease your pain. or four seasons would bring the loneliness again.

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