ludjaci

[ludjaci]

sorry for being so weird it's my first time being alive

#musings ( messiah ) : tbt

[ludjaci]

When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

Personal guilt is easy to deal with because Messiah either doesn't tend to take things personally, or he takes life personally in general. It comes and it goes. It's a fleeting thing. A gift, the good and the bad. A blessing. It's his own choice and free will to life and feel and do the things he does.

...Professional guilt is, I would guess, the guilt he feels when he fails in his intentions, when he fails at life.

What the hell does it mean to fail at life?

He couldn't tell you for sure. Maybe when he doesn't fulfill his purpose.

What even is his purpose?

It's an ongoing search, but he knows when he goes astray. That's when this inexplicable, existential guilt sets in. It's not as easy as calling it a guilt of not being good enough, or a guilt of not doing enough for a cause, or not living up to one's own potential. It's a profound sadness and shame caused by things seemingly out of his control, because... have you not yet learned that everything is intricately interconnected?

#answered ( messiah ) : tbt #hc ( messiah ) : tbt

[ludjaci]

[ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 ] ― sender reaches out to hold receiver’s hand

It's a quiet, intimate moment they share as he slowly reaches out his own hand towards hers… and he observes as his fingers touch her palm. His thumb gently caresses the back of her soft hand. He carefully slides his fingers between Nessa's, and their hands end up intertwined like the roots of a tree. His fingers, long and boney like an overgrown vine, and her own slender, delicate, like a branch beautifully in bloom. He smiles faintly as he looks into her eyes of forest green. A sight worth remembering for a long, long time.

#answered ( messiah ) : tbt #eyesofcuriosity #you know things are getting hot and heavy when these two hold hands lol

[ludjaci]

Hayden Christensen - Life as a House (2001)

#guise ( messiah ) : tbt

[ludjaci]

🌙  *  ―     𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐒  (  prompts for the five senses. add [reversed] to reverse the action. feel free to change wording as needed & add details )

𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇.

[ 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 ] ― sender wraps a soft blanket around receiver’s shoulders [ 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐊 ] ― sender and receiver fall into bed together on silk sheets [ 𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐋 ] ― sender pulls receiver’s hair ( gently / hard ) [ 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 ] ― sender strokes receiver’s hair [ 𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender brushes receiver’s hair [ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓 ] ― sender paints a picture onto part of receiver’s body ( specify what & where ) [ 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender traces their fingertips over receiver’s body [ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑 ] ― sender traces a scar on receiver’s body [ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 ] ― sender reaches out to hold receiver’s hand [ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 ] ― sender worships receiver’s body

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄.

[ 𝐔𝐍𝐔𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 ] ― sender feeds receiver something they’ve never tried before ( specify what ) [ 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 ] ― sender feeds receiver something sour ( specify what ) [ 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 ] ― sender feeds receiver something sweet ( specify what ) [ 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender feeds receiver something spicy ( specify what ) [ 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender kisses receiver to taste the lingering flavour of what they ate or drank on their lips ( specify what ) [ 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender bites receiver hard enough to draw blood [ 𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 ] ― sender feeds receiver soup when they’ve fallen ill [ 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 ] ― sender makes receiver a cocktail to try [ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender cooks receiver their favourite meal [ 𝐓𝐑𝐘 ] ―  sender gives receiver a taste of what they’re cooking / baking for their opinion

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

[ 𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 ] ― sender blindfolds receiver [ 𝐑𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄 ] ― sender and receiver see each other again after a period of being apart [ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 ] ― sender notices something different about receiver ( injury / haircut / tattoo / piercing / etc ) [ 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋 ] ― sender greets receiver in formal partywear ( feel free to add detail ) [ 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐒 ] ― sender takes receiver to see lanterns in the sky [ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ] ― sender and receiver lay under the stars to stargaze [ 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄 ] ― sender and receiver lock eyes across the room [ 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 ] ― sender and receiver see a shadow move out the corner of their eye [ 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 ] ― sender and receive watch as something burns ( candles / a building / a campfire / etc ) [ 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender takes receiver to the aquarium to watch the sea life [ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊 ] ― sender recognises receiver at a masquerade party

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃.

[ 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂 ] ― sender puts on the radio to listen to music with receiver [ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 ] ― sender plays receiver their favourite song on an instrument ( specify what ) [ 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍 ] ― sender and receiver are in bed together while rain lashes against the windows / tent / etc [ 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender whispers something in receiver’s ear ( specify what ) [ 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender asks receiver for a dance upon hearing a song [ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 ] ― sender and receiver hear a sound when they should be alone ( footsteps / creaking floorboards / a scream / etc ) [ 𝐇𝐔𝐌 ] ― sender hums a lullaby to lull receiver to sleep [ 𝐌𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐃 ] ― sender comforts a temporally deaf receiver after a loud sound ( gunshot / explosion / etc ) [ 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐌 ] ― sender calms receiver down from a panic attack in a loud place [ 𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐑 ] ― sender and receiver hear a muffled sound from another room / outside ( music / people / creature / etc ) [ 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 ] ― sender hears receiver crying and approaches comfort them

𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐋.

[ 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐇 ] ― sender puts a scented bath bomb into receiver’s bath [ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 ] ― sender lights a scented candle for receiver [ 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender puts perfume / aftershave on receiver’s ( wrist / neck / cheek ) [ 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 ] ― sender inhales receiver’s scent [ 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊 ] ― sender is drawn to the kitchen by receiver’s cooking [ 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒 ] ― sender steals an item of receiver’s clothes because it smells like them [ 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender notices receiver smells of their shampoo / shower gel [ 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 ] ― sender gives receiver flowers [ 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender helps clean receiver after a long day / stressful situation [ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐘 ] ― sender and receiver walk through the sewers to escape capture / avoid detection / chase someone [ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 ] ― sender massages receiver with a scented oil

#Memes

[ludjaci]

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS

What’s the lie your character says most often?

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

When do they fake a smile? How often?

How do they put out a candle?

What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person?

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

How do they greet someone they dislike / hate?

How do they greet someone they like / love?

What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell?

What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?

How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do?

Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with?

What’s a phrase they say a lot?

Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

Who would / do they believe without question?

What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

#Memes

[ludjaci]

any amount of love given will never be love wasted any amount of love given will never be love wasted any amount of love given will never be love wasted

#musings ( messiah ) : tbt

[ludjaci]

Hello, quick announcement

I'll probably be spending some casual times around these parts of the internet again for a while because i miss writing, and with that in mind i'll just quickly announce things for those who are reading this:

this will go from giant multi muse blog to a (for now) single muse - my OC Messiah (see pinned post for link to about page)

Messiah has been a lot of things and went through a lot of changes and rapid brainstormings throughout his existence but i'm content to announce i've settled on giving him the following background

‘Messiah’ is the chosen human name of a guardian angel, sent onto Earth to live as a mortal so that he could understand life better and how to protect it in times of need... or when to let go. Life means very different things to an immortal being compared to a mortal one, after all. Messiah's human past is confusing and inconsistent, as he himself is both those things. He isn’t entirely aware of his true nature, and cannot access the otherwordly knowledge he posesses as an angel because his mortal mind couldn't handle it. He is, however, keenly aware of his spiritual strength, healing energy, and divine purpose… and sometimes experiences inexplicable soul-crushing melancholy and loss for a kind of existence he can’t name. He will be played in two verses: one in which he is ultimately guided by pure love and he goes about discovering life earnestly (default), and one where the mortal world taints his soul and he falls into vice, using his powers of empathy and extrasensory perception for evil and selfish deeds instead.

I'll probs be changing the url and icon as I ease into the idea

Everyone please feel free to follow/unfollow/interact as you see fit, mwahhhh

yours truly, me

#ooc

[ludjaci]

Was practicing drawing face expressions and accidentally drew Him... look it's himmmm

Don't mind someone in the background complaining about posers

#Ooc #Mun art #Guise ( zevran ) : tbt

[ludjaci]

Gigi has the tendency to be in the centre of attention and hog the spotlight by talking a lot (he does so very theatrically and he has something to say all the time) but even then he makes sure to make everyone feel included and good about themselves by cracking good-spirited jokes and giving compliments...

But still can come off as egoistic and a very bad listener. As in, when someone else speaks, it's like he doesn't listen, he just waits for his turn to speak again!

#Hc ( gigi ) : tbt #I think about him every once in a while yes

[ludjaci]

liveshaunted​:

        He gives a soft nod of his head, “Yes they have - and I’ve been forced to do it too,” Mother issues, his mother had only cared about money so it’s why he dropped her as soon as he could. She never seemed to care for him. “They just want to see if what I do is real. I hate it. People are sceptical I get that but… they don’t get how it drains on me.” Because once again his mother hid that away from the customers she lured in when he was younger. “Sometimes, if they don’t know I lie and say I’m a fake and my mother just did it for money.” Which - is a half a truth, “Usually get’s them off my back - and I completely agree there.”

“Hey... I believe you that it’s very draining. It’s a kind of labour like any other, except it’s a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual labor all in one. Truth still is, it’s got a bad reputation of scamming desperate people off their money for a reason. That’s not to say that I think you’re a fraud. Far from it.”

He smiles.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the real thing. It’s the way you say it. It’s a sincerity that’s impossible to fake.”

His smile fades as his mind appears to wander, as if actually considering the weight of Atlas’ confessions despite showing signs of the aforementioned scepticism.

“I’d like to ask something else of my father, actually, if that’s alright. I’d like to ask him--”

He pauses, gazing somewhere off into the distance.

“I’d like to ask him why he was so full of hate. If that’s too vague a question, then, maybe... I’d like to ask him what it’s like to die when you’re already dead on the inside. Is death peaceful, or is it eternal damnation and suffering? Is hell real, and is he in it? Does he weep, or could he give less of a shit for all the damage he’d done?”

He looks back to Atlas, eyebrows furrowed.

“Is that a kind of question I’m allowed to ask? I’m very curious now and I’m very willing to discuss what you want in return for your services.”

#ic ( messiah ) : l'hanno detto i numeri e le stelle #liveshaunted

[ludjaci]

#musings ( messiah ) : tbt #it do be like that sometimes

[ludjaci]

messiah is definitely the type to overshare about his tragic past and rant on and on about how much the world at its core sucks and how people are inherently evil and the inferior life form when given the slightest of openings to do so

#hc ( messiah ) : tbt #the OG edgelord quite unlike all the posers who wear black but don't have an intense and genuine twisted love affair with existence

[ludjaci]

#music ( messiah ) : tbt

[ludjaci]

taezr​:

🗲 It was very… Well, it made him tilt his head, what the stranger was saying to him, and he furrowed his dark, arched eyebrows, blinking once or twice. He was usually met with skepticism over believing in things like horoscopes, or astrology in and of itself. True, often times the websites had their articles written by those without much passion for the topic themselves. You had to go further than the newspaper for any accuracy, though feeling put-out by the message of love, he was not seeking anything any more in-depth at the second. It was obvious from the weary look in his eyes that he was hurt more so by the horoscope’s reminder of his lack of love, though what the stranger told him bore a message of… Hope? Something akin to that.

“Agh, yeah,” was all he could murmur at first, gazing upward at the ceiling of the train. “I guess there’s subtext to get, huh?” It was initially perhaps dismissive, but he shrunk into himself, wondering if he did detect a hint of a favorable demeanor in the other. His instinct to get more information got him actually responding to the request, and going to the page to check for the Leo entry.

“Leo… Leo…” Danny clicked his tongue. “Okay, here we go. Have you been looking for a sign to begin a new project or creative endeavor? Today is your day to celebrate, as you meet just the right person or people to assist you in getting your wildest plans off the ground. Good things come to those who wait, and you’ve waited long enough, Leo. Enjoy your next big success.” 

He rolled his shoulders back, resting his thick, spray-filled hair against the seat behind him. “Congratulations to you,” he laughed in a light, airy way, “I’m sure that’s all very thrilling.” Whether or not that was sarcasm was up in the air, as he stated it with all the enthusiasm of a rock, but his eyes shone like he really meant it. “What do you think, is it relevant?” 🗲

Messiah chuckles heartily at the stranger’s slight bewilderment.

“No, not really. I think it’s all bullshit,” he admits, rubbing his palms, holding his gaze fixed onto the other casually still, smiling yet. In the stranger he senses somewhat of a kindred soul, one he can possibly understand on a deeper level. He purses his lips in thought. There’s a familiar sense of emptiness about them both. It’s a possible way of establishing a connection.

“I think it’s very fun to think about, and I definitely think there’s something magical about the night sky, the planets, and the stars, and the Moon, and the sun... and it’s fascinating, and sweet how even our great, ancient ancestors all looked at the sky with the same sense of wonder as we do these days, and how they assigned meanings to these beautiful, wondrous things we can’t quite explain even today. That in itself, I believe, is a kind of magic.”

He holds his hands clasped in his lap.

“But who’s to say that any of it is real? It’s just something to believe in, like Allah, or Jesus, or something a bit more obscure. I think it’s important to believe in something, or someone, who’s on your side, rooting for you, helping you succeed. It’s a very lonely world we live in, filled with so many people, most of them not even remotely interesting or worthy of time and attention. Everyone so wrapped up in their own little worlds, living their own little lives, totally, blisfully oblivious and unconcerned.”

His expression suddenly gets very somber as he faintly leans closer.

“Sometimes, I wish I was like that,” he says, softly, attempting to establish an intense eye contact. “I wish I knew a little less. I wish I didn’t care when I hurt someone. I wish I could get away with doing terrible things for my own gain, and still be able to sleep at night. Do you understand what I mean?”

He scoffs, leaning away, gaze casted downwards.

“Or am I, maybe, being a bit too honest and freaking you out a little?”

#ic ( messiah ) : l'hanno detto i numeri e le stelle #taezr #no worries about reply speed!

[ludjaci]

one of those ooc thingies

———  BASICS  !

(PEN)NAME:  kylu PRONOUNS:  whatever ZODIAC  SIGN: sagittarius TAKEN  OR  SINGLE:  happily taken

———  THREE  FACTS  !

- i’ve been drawing a lot lately with the intention of one day possibly getting into tattooing and/or designing my own tattoos and tattooing them onto myself by myself

- talking to myself helps me stay focused and i would encourage everyone to do it if they, like me, forget what they were about to do every five seconds or so

- i think music is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT when trying to tell a story/portray something/play a ttrpg etc because i feel like the proper atmosphere can turn everything upside down inside out in the best way 

———  EXPERIENCE  !

PLATFORMS USED: tumblr, obscure niche forums that i go to once every two years, e-mails, discord, whatever i’m feeling at certain moments ———  MUSE  PREFERENCE  ! GENDER: i have a strong preference for writing/playing male characters LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S): any mainstream uninteresting faces like JB or 1D or superhero actors or like seIena gnomez or whatever, i just don’t care for those at all MULTI OR SINGLE: i have no idea

———  FLUFF  /  ANGST  /  SMUT  !  ♡     FLUFF: Fluff is good because if it’s good then it makes for potential good drama when things get though muahaha ANGST: i love angst and being melodramatic but too much angst honestly makes me depressed SMUT: i love developing a character’s smeggsuality and thinking about what attracts them and how they do the dobut i’d only actually write smut with people who i’m on the same page with PLOT  /  MEMES: i have no idea, sometimes one works well and sometimes another works much better, depends on a lot of factors, i think a good plot writes itself naturally as it happens, i don’t like to plan too much ahead because characters have a way of developing themselves in wildly different ways once you get them going and i don’t like to contain them in like predetermined little boxes when it comes to either their personalities or how they’re gonna interact/mesh with others.. it’s all very intuitive honestly

tagged by: @cursedfortune this lovely person tagging: yall idk who is into filling out these things and who is active anymore and i’d be interested to read anyone willing to fill this out so if you wanna fill this out go ahead and tag me as tagged by

#ooc

[ludjaci]

liveshaunted​:

           A sigh fell from Atlas’ lip, looking at the money, then the request - “Yeah, you’re lucky you also know exactly what you want. Makes this a whole lot easier.” He says as he takes the money, he know he probably sounds rude but talking to anyone dead can drain him for days on end - he feels like he should compensate himself for it, at least it’s not as much as his mother would charge. “You even sure his credit card will still work? Not that I won’t ask, I just need to make sure it’s what you want.”

"Yep.” He smiles. “Positive, and positive."

That's a lie. His father died a long time ago, and the village they lived in thought using technology was the same as worshipping the devil. Messiah doubts the guy even owned a credit card. He's mostly just doing this for the shits, and for the very intriguing company of someone who claims to have exceptional powers.

"Say...” He squints his eyes and tilts his head. “Do people really approach you for your services without knowing what they want?” 

He snorts derisively. 

“Wow. Not only is that inconsiderate of your time, but very dangerous, too.” 

He appears very thoughtful now.

“People who don't know what they want are very susceptible to manipulation, and willing to believe just about anything they wanna hear. It’s such a tragic trend... yet tragedy is one hell of a teacher."

#ic ( messiah ) : l'hanno detto i numeri e le stelle #liveshaunted