i know this blog is dead & archived now, but i periodically log in again on this acc and i see a spike in people resonating with this and it really means a lot to me? i usually have such a low opinion of my own advice and comfort that i give people, so knowing how helpful something like this can be for other people when i was making it for myself in a time where i felt so hollow and wondered if trying to be anything was even worth it means so much! i didn’t think i had a personality, i thought i didn’t know how to be myself anymore because i had been adapting myself based on what would make people like me...
but i’ve now realised that it’s enough to just be!!!! just be!! just to be me as i am because i have a personality! whether i think so or not, and i’m completely different to who i was a year ago! you’re always changing, without even knowing it. you never truly lose yourself, and you can always come home to yourself to become someone you like. i promise that :) you may feel disconnected from yourself right now, and that’s okay, but you can always come back from that. you’ve come back from everything that’s happened to you so far, and you will do it again. learn about yourself, learn what you like and want to indulge in, learn, fall in love with yourself dammit!! i love you!!
it feels weird that a lot of us subscribe to this idea that there is an ultimate, definite, set in stone goal for who we want to be? the whole… concept that once we get to that point, we’ll stay that way forever and never change again? it’s so odd! because the truth is we’re always changing, whether we realise it/are consciously doing it or not. you meet new people who change your life, go to new places, learn new information, listen to new bands, are thrown into situations that force you to adapt, make new memories that you don’t even realise are the ones you’ll love the most. all of these things… they will inevitably shape and change you throughout your entire life. there isn’t any true ‘destination’, you’re constantly evolving. but that doesn’t mean you can’t be who you want, you’ll just realise along the way that there’s new things you want to be too! please don’t tie yourself down to fitting into an archetype or singular aesthetic or an expectation for who you should be. being as you are is enough, you will never stagnate <3
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my #1 piece of advice for anyone who is not used being stuck in their homes is to remember, every day, to do things that ground you.
playing on the computer, watching movies and tvs, even reading books - these are all great ways to make time pass quickly BUT they are not grounding activities, they are activities that instead make you more prone to getting lost in your head a bit - you look up and it’s 2 in the morning and you don’t know where the day went.
so alternate any activity that involves escapism (text messaging, movies, video games, ect.) with a grounding activity. otherwise, if you’re like me, you’ll start to feel all weird and floaty and nothing matters and what is time and when was the last time i ate.
obviously, work with what resources you have and keep in mind any issues, physical or otherwise, that might make these suggestions not right for you.
also, i like to do all of these with my preschooler and toddler, because they benefit from the shared activity and from the grounding themselves as well. i’m not a board-game mom or a mom that likes to coordinate cute art projects or activities - i just don’t have the focus for that (adhd). instead i prefer to just share activities with my kids as described below.
suggested grounding activities:
* cooking a meal. not microwaving something, preparing a meal that involves chopping vegetables, requires you to stand over a steaming pan stirring constantly. bake a boxed cake for no reason other than you need a grounding activity. chop an onion. make ants-on-a-log. look at the weird leftover stuff in the pantry and make something equally weird with it. (my husband likes to do this.)
* walking (my favorite). if you can, go outside to walk, if not, even walking around the rooms in your house will help. take your kids on a walk. raining? go for a (brief) walk anyway. my kids LOVE a rainy day walk because they get to splash in muddy puddles.
* loud, cheerful music that you sing along to. this is not the time for wistful, angsty breakup music. you want abba. you want cyndi lauper. you want “you can call me al.” PLEASE dance along. PLEASE sing as loud as you can. kids will love having a dance party.
* making art. glue popsickle sticks, paint with watercolors, anything messy or tactile is A+++. everyone has 500 rolls of toilet paper, use those empty rolls for art projects. playdoh. molding clay. my kids’ favorite activity is stringing beads on pipe cleaners.
* heavy work. if you have the resources and a backyard, a good thing to do is to go outside and start moving heavy things. clear out a spot for a garden. move bricks. clean up trash. if you don’t have outside space, move your furniture around the room. push and pull and lift, if you can. alphabetize your book collection, moving your hardbacks from shelf to shelf.
* picking a small area or room and cleaning it. what i mean is: washing a window, wiping a baseboard, scrubbing a tub. doesn’t have to be the whole room. just one thing. what i am NOT suggesting: organizing closets and shelves. organizing requires making decisions. you are probably not in the right headspace for descision-making right now. please chose MINDLESS physical grounding activities. as an added bonus, cleaning makes you feel productive AND soothes your anxiety over germs. for example, my kids LOVE to mop. they beg for that priviledge. let them mop! make a big wet mess on the floor and then dry it up with towels.
* play with toys. i am literally suggesting pulling out a box of blocks and sitting on the floor with your kids, if you have them, or with your pets, if you don’t. blocks are great for grounding me (and my kids). build towers, roads, cities, ect. it’s tactile, mindless and meditative, and it’s probably something you don’t usually do every day, so it’s novel. other suggestions: barbies. matchbox cars. nothing that requires batteries or makes noise. no lego sets - an open-ended activity. don’t try to follow directions. just get a bunch of foam blocks and make a tower.
* paint your nails. paint your kids’ nails. both my son and daughter love having their nails painted. it’s tactile, it’s good physical contact, it tickles a little, it’s mindless.
* play with a pet. order a laser pointer for your kitty or get a squeaky ball for the dog. get on the floor.
these are some suggestions off the top of my head, please feel free to add more
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