louu-7

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/222647460-everything-i-don%27t-know-jj-maybank

CHAPTER 10:

My sight become distinct again and I throw myself on the ground to puke my guts out as my body shiver and get colder. I stay in this position for a while, in the dark, in front of a bush, and disgusted by all the remarks I received in less than a minute.

A hand is suddenly touching my shoulder, making me jump of surprise as I look up. The hand’s removing from my arm and my eyes are crossing his. What the…

“What do you want, spit in my face in person?”

“No, no I just wanted to see if, you were OK.” Kyle declares as he observes me, in this pathetic situation. “Yeah, look at me, I’m at my best, you can go back to the party I don’t need nobody, even less a kook who thinks I’m a bitch.”

“I don’t think you’re a bitch, I always saw you as a smart girl, kinda chill.”

He sits next to me, while I’m on my knees, as ridiculous as possible. My father’s maybe right, I’m kinda stupid right now. “Don’t stay with me, I’m good.”

“And if I don’t wanna go?”

“I’ll go by myself to be alone.”

“And I’ll follow you.”

I sigh a little and spin around to sit more properly, and look at him. His eyes are diving into mine and I frown and look away. Oh, shit. That’s him. He’s got a crush on me. And I forgot about it. It’s Kyle, and my brain didn’t do the comparison...

I purse my lips as he continues to let his eyes wander over me, with shamelessness and tirelessly. Oh God can someone save me right now…

“I think I’m gonna go.” I stand back up and my stomach starts to hurt again, even more than a bit earlier… I wince and my body makes me understand I can’t walk for now. But I can’t stay with him either. “Please go, we can talk later if you want but leave me alone.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, hurry, please, I needa be on my own.”

I fall on my knees again and he leaves, a sigh is coming out of my mouth and I can take things easy as long as I’m on my own. All the words are repeating on my mind without any break, and tears can’t stop running on my cheeks at this point, because it hurts me.

Maybe I’m looking like I’m strong in front of people but I’m not, I’m human, and I think everybody would be affected by all these remarks that I received from hundreds of people, without help, because the crew was certainly as disconcerted as me.

My stomach is hurting because of stress, and a sentence is in repeat in my head even more than the others. ‘Why aren’t you killing yourself’. At least I know how kooks can be nasty when they’re angry. Maybe that I already knew that about them before, but I’ve never been confronted with so much hate and senseless rumors.

It all started with the things I ‘said’ about the pogues, things I never said in my whole life. Now it’s about things I ‘said’ about kooks. The question I need an answer of is… who hates me that much to make everyone spitting at my face this way? I didn’t think I had enemies, but they should talk to me rather than spread rumors about what I say or no…

“Hey, I was looking for you babe, how are you…?” I look up at Sarah and manage to faint a smile at her, a little deformed, by the pain in my stomach, and the voices shouting out in my head. My eyes are burning so bad… “Good.”

“Thara don’t be too affected by all these fucking rich assholes, c’mere babe.”

“I’m not affected I just don’t understand why they…” My voice crack and I look away to hold back the tears in my eyes, and she sits next to me to hug me, with so much kindness, that my heart melts in my chest. “I’m fine, let’s go back with the others.”

“Girl you’re crying your heart out, we’re not coming back with them, they’re gonna come here, we’ll be better without all these-”

“No, that’s OK. Let’s go, I didn’t came here to stay out of the party.”

I stand and my body hurts, but it’ll pass. The pain is in my head, so if I stop thinking about these free insults that I gently received, everything will be alright. Sarah wraps her arm behind my back and we catch up with the boys.

“Good?”

“Yeah, they’re just jealous of me, nothing serious.” I laugh a little and sit next to Kie, who’s laughing with me. “I guess you never said that?” I shiver when I cross JJ’s blue eyes as his deep voice resonate in my head.

He made everyone shutting up, I owe him something, because even if we don’t like each other, he ‘came to my defense’ in a kind of way, and I appreciate that.

“No. I’m a kook myself, why would I say that on them? Bearing in mind that if I said all these shits, I would’ve spit in the girls faces. I’m not the bitch everyone’s seeing in me right now.”

“Of course you’re not. We may not know each other that much but I know you enough to see a chill girl who wanna have fun.” Pope’s raising his shoulders, looking at me, then at the crew.

I smile and look down, embarrassed to know what he really thinks about me. I’m not used to these kind of ‘compliments’. “Thara’s the better best friend, of course she’s a chill girl who wanna ave fun.” Sarah leans on me and laugh as I do the same, hugging her. “Let’s talk ‘bout something else,  I don’t like to talk ‘bout me.”

The discussion restarts on the same topic as before Nate’s intervention, and I share us my plan. It’s not really a plan, it’s more… something I can do to look deeper in that shit. While we’re here in circle, some kooks are enjoying to slight me or tell me off, but I manage to ignore them. They’re all sheep who are following Nate.

Anyway, I explain that I need to go downtown, to look into the old document of my family. I know that everyone of the richer kooks family are listed at the library, and it’s of course confidential. This is the first thing that came in my mind to start to find something.

“Go to hell!”

“Why were you born, fucking slut.

“Stay home if you don’t wanna have issue. You’ll finish dead if you don’t.”

I don’t even make the effort to look at their assholes faces and show them my middle finger as I break out in a cold sweat. A quiet sigh is coming out of my mouth discreetly and we continue to talk.

“Are they really gonna try to kill you?”

“No, they’re not brave enough to do anything. Now can we stop talking about ‘em and go on with our main topic?”

“These men are sayin’ they’re gonna kill you.”

“Nah, I’m OK with Thara, these kids are wasting their breath, they won’t have the balls to do anything.” John B agrees and JJ’s nodding his head to agree at his turn. “Be careful anyway, we never know.” Kie smiles gently at me and I do the same as I nod.

All these kooks are talking, because it’s easy to spit on somebody’s face, but when it comes to act, nobody’s here.

~

The kegger is done, it’s 4pm right now, we talked a lot on what could we do. After a long search, we decided that to begin our researches, we had to build some solid bases if we want something that’s holding up. So, tomorrow I will be going downtown, to the library, to make some serious research about my family, because if we start, it’s probably best to start with the beginning.

The thing is, they all insist that someone needs to come with me, because of all the threats I received tonight. I wasn’t against the idea, until John B and Sarah told me that they had lunch with the Cameron’s, and Pope and Kie apologized because they had to work with their parents.

What does that means? That JJ is supposed to come with me. We’re both not OK with this decision, and I don’t think he will be there tomorrow to take the ferry in the morning, around 10am. To be honest they make us agreed, but when we looked at each other it was obvious that we weren’t that fine with the idea.

It’s better for everyone if I go by myself anyway, at least if they don’t want to get one of us dead… I can’t even imagine passing the whole day with him. And they will never going to let us come into the library if he dresses up as usual… God it’s gonna be a mess, and passing around nine hours with him is not going to be an easy job.

It’s not my fault if he’s bad-tempered. Maybe he thinks the same about me. Maybe he thinks more something like ‘How am I gonna pass a whole day with this kook who’s getting emotional at every minute of her life.’ Yeah, maybe more that… But I don’t know, it might be the best day of my life, we will see tomorrow...

I get up out of my bed, in pajamas, for a change, and go downstairs to get some food. Why am I such a food lover… and after I’m complaining about gaining weight… Anyway I grab a cereal bar in the cupboard when I hear someone coming into the kitchen.

“Did I woke you up?”

“No, don’t worry darling.” My mother smiles a little at me and I do the same. “Was the party as good as you thought?”

“Yeah, yeah it was… intense. Nothing crazy, but I’m dead. Oh and, I was wondering if I could go downtown tomorrow?”

“It depends for what, do you need something? I maybe can get you what you want.” Her eyes stare at me, like she was trying to guess why by herself. Like she knew that I would lie to her...

“It’s to go to the library, I need new books to read, and I have some researches to do, about philosophy works, it’s so interesting I need to know more. I open my snack and she seems to think about my request. “I think you can go, only if you promise me you’re not going over there to see anyone. You go downtown to study, not to have fun with pogues.” A bit of disgust is present in her voice when she pronounces the pogue word. Ridiculous...

“Mom I only saw them once, and it was on a birthday. I can swear to you I never saw them since this day, and I won’t do it again. The thing is Sarah’s not one of them, she’s a kook, like us… and she’s my best friend...”

“I know, you understood that your image is important. I will talk about the Sarah case with your father tomorrow and we will tell you if you can see her. Now go to sleep sweetheart.”

“Yeah, thank you mommy, I love you. Sweet dreams.” She comes to me and kiss my forehead before I live the first floor for my room. I finish my cereal bar, happy that they are going to think about Sarah. Maybe they also understood I need interaction with people, not just them.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face I dive in my fresh sheets and fall asleep in less than a second because of the fatigue I got inside of me.

~

I’m in front of the ferry, everyone’s getting in but I’m waiting for my bodyguard of the day to show up. The boat’s going to leave in two minutes, and JJ didn’t even let me know if he was coming or no, and I’m here, waiting for someone that I don’t really hold close to my heart…

“Miss, the ferry’s gonna leave in a minute.” An inspector walks to me and I wince. “I’m waiting for someone, just a second please…” What is he doing…

I suddenly frown when I see a blond head running towards me as fast as possible. When I recognize JJ’s face, I’m surprised just as peeved. “There he is…” I whisper, kind of amused and embarrassed at the same time.

He arrives in front of me, out of breath, and looks at the inspector. “Mister, have a good day, I think we gotta go.” He walks vigorously to the ferry and I stop him by saying his name, already tired of him. “We maybe have to give our tickets…”

“Tickets, noo.” I don’t think he understood the man next to me is an inspector until he puts his eyes on him and see his outraged face. The blond comes back next to me and wince before whispering ‘i kinda forget this little detail’. “By good luck” I look in my bag. “I got two tickets.” I grab them and warmly smile to the inspector.

“Thank you, have a good trip lovebirds.”

“Ugh, we’re not, hum, yeah but thanks, have a great day…” We move away toward the ferry and I wince as JJ seems to be shocked. “How could you forgot about a ticket like, did you really thought we would be able to get in without anything?”

“I was late, ticket wasn’t my priority. What is wrong with this man, how could I be with you-” I raise my eyebrows and look at him, who’s also looking at me, as we get in the boat and walk through the corridor to take place on our seats. “Shut up. Let’s go outside.”

JJ follows me with a crooked smile on his face, and we arrive outside. The weather is perfect, the sun shines and reflects on the clear water of the sea. The waves are kind this morning and the wind is not to powerful. Perfect to have a trip in ferry. “Do you know that we’re not gonna be allowed to come in the library if we get inside like this.”

“Like how?” He looks at me, his arms leaning on the security barrier. “Your clothes… I mean, the problem isn’t your style, but the first impression is important and if you’re not dressed properly, the security isn’t gonna let us come in.”

“So what, I have to dress like a kook to come into a library?”

“Kinda…”

“What the… I don’t wanna look like a… twerp in a penguin suit.” He winces and a bittersweet smile’s drawing out on my face. “Do I look like a twerp in a penguin suit?” I laugh and he steps back to look at me, pulling a face in disgust.

I show him my beautiful middle finger and look back at the sea to ignore him. I feel like this day is going to be long, but, to be honest he seems to have got out of the right side of the bed. A pretty good thing if we have to stay together from now until tonight.

“Gonna be the worst day of my life…”

“Shut up, I paid your ticket.”

thank u for reading me, have a great day!! ^^

#outerbanks #pogue #kook #pogue life #jj maybank #johnb #pope heyward #kiara carrera #sarah cameron #secret #mystery #gold

[louu-7]

everything  don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 9:

I jump as my heart skips a beat before I look at Alyssa, shocked that she scared the hell out of me this way. “Girl... you freaked me out…”

“What the hell are you doing he-” Her face falls down when a though seems to cross her mind, her hand catch mine and she draws me towards my room before almost shutting the door with anger. I look at her, speechless, as her eyes are starring at me with rage. “What did I do? I just wanted to drink water, it’s the fourth time I wake up because of Dad’s footstep.”

“Why were you sitting on the stairs? Thara you can’t keep tabs on Dad, even less in the middle of the night.”

“I wasn’t listening, look at my face, I’m tired and I look like a damn zombie, and why would I listen to him, I don’t care of his little business, he does whatever he wants I don’t give a damn.” Her eyes don’t get off of me until I reopen my door to show her the exit.

I just wanna sleep, and yes I wanted to listen to these guys but obviously I can’t. And Alyssa’s gonna have me in her sight if I try again to listen to their conversation. “Well. Sweet dreams.”

“Maybe more sweet nightmares, let’s not forget that strangers are I in our house. But good night...”

~

I’m pacing up and down since half an hour, my legs are making the moves by themselves and I don’t need to think about walking because it became automatic. My brain is flat out, I can’t stop thinking about everything strange that’s happening lately, in other words, a lot of strange things.

My father’s and these men, the family meeting in the forbidden office and this stuff about rejecting me out of the business, I don’t know, it’s weird.

I have to talk about it to the group, even if they don’t believe me about the gold, which is completely intelligible because I don’t believe in it myself. My eyes are starring at my phone for a few minutes before I can’t stop my hand to take it and call Sarah. She’s certainly with the crew, we’re in the middle of the afternoon. “Heyy what’s up babe?”

“I have to talk to you all about something, are you with the crew right now?” I continue to walk in my room, agitated. “Yeah we’re all together. Something’s wrong?”

“Kind of. Let me go outside so nobody will hear me, I feel like they all have eyes on me lately, that’s fucking stressing me.”

“Thara is it serious like... I never felt you that tensed…”

“Gimme a sec.” I go downstairs to join the garden and be as far away as possible of the house. If they know that I suspect something I can say goodbye to my phone, computer and everything that can help me to communicate with the outside world. “OK, so, I surprised my whole family having a conversation in my Dad’s office last night, without me, and-”

“Are you calling because you think you’re neglected or because you really found something interesting to say?” JJ takes part in the discussion and I smile bitterly by hearing his remarks. “Just shut up and let me talk, it could be kind, thank you. So I was saying, they were together and, they talked about somethin weird, I heard a lot a whole stuff around some gold, and I know it’s crazy I didn’t understand any-”

“Wait what? Gold?” Sarah’s voice kind of shout out through the phone, making me wincing. “Yeah, gold. I know that’s not possible but-”

“At least we’re OK, that’s not possible, so why are you calling, really?” JJ’s cold tone got me gritting my teeth as the others make him stop. “Two men came in the middle of the night to talk with my Dad, I don’t think every parents are having little coffee with strangers while their family’s sleeping.”

A long silence follows my speaking and I can hear them letting out some sighs and, I also can feel them disturbed, kind of concerned. “OK and, what d’ya think ‘bout all this?” John B’s calm voice is making me raise my shoulders even if they can’t see it.

We all seem to start thinking about this weird stuff. I know there’s way weirdest things in life, but, they’re all strange lately in this house, and I don’t know if I can feel secure and in an honest family.

“Sooo, what do you wanna do?” I slightly sigh and whisper a little ‘I don’t know’, because I really have no idea of what should I do. Either I ask my parents, so they answer me, and I take the risk to only have lies as answer, or I look for answers by myself, and maybe with the crew’s help.

We talk about it for a little bit of time, more than I expected, and they kind of encourage me to make my own inquiries and find answers by myself. They’re even ready to help me, for the majority of them…

The call comes to an end and I come back inside of the house. They all seem to be gone, and it’s better this way, I don’t even know if I can trust them anymore, Alyssa’s behavior was so bizarre last night. Even if she helped me on the afternoon. I don’t understand her…

An open door in the corridor at my right catch my eye, and I frown. “What the…” I whisper in a sigh. One time is possible, not two times in less than a month. This door is never ever opened, and now it’s always opened. “It’s a fucking bad joke…”

“What did you said Miss?” Lucy asks from the kitchen. “Nothing, don’t pay attention to me, Lucy.” Because of her I have to be careful, but I can’t see this door totally opened and miss my chance.

I walk to the room, get in and close the door with kindness to look at everything around me. There’s this whole bunch of shelves, with so many old books, documents that comes from another century and… a lot of… I don’t know, it’s like my Dad’s looking for something.

To be honest, it feels like he’s completely crazy about this… thing that he’s looking for. The ‘gold’ maybe… I don’t know what to think anymore. My phone’s ringing in my back pocket makes me jump of surprise as I hang up the call. Sorry, Sarah…

‘girl why did you hang up on meee??’

‘sorry babe i’m in my dads office right now...’

‘omg, find sth?’

‘maps, documents, books and… i just notice sth, the name of my great great great great great grandfather’s a lot on the papers… idk why, weird…’

‘take pics and get out of here, ur in shit girl i’m stressing for uuuur lil ass’

She’s not wrong, I can take pictures of everything and observe it later. My heart is ready to stop at any moment if I’m not leaving this room right now, but there’s so much thing that it takes me almost ten minutes to take pics of everything I want. Then I get out, the silence is so loud in the house that it puts me under pressure…

I close the door and already have a plan, perfect to show my family that I’m not the bad little capricious girl, and that ‘I don’t care’ about their little business.

‘got pics, i’ll text u if I find sth weird, l8er’

I join my room and lock my door to be alone and peaceful. Now I have to figure out what all this means, because if I stay out of this little business any longer and that I know they’re constantly lying to me all along the day it’s gonna drive me crazy.

Like I said, the name of my great grandfather appears a lot. And with what I’m reading, I can say it’s only because he owned the vineyard between 1820 and 1905. He built this business with his father and son, and he was… pretty famous in this town. So the Abrams are living on this island since more than three centuries, that’s insane…

The fact that his name is everywhere is holding my attention, but I move on to something else. These documents are ‘proofs’ that there’s gold on this island, apparently, but, there’s nothing more. No name associated with this gold, no location, we don’t even know if it’s here, I mean, maybe it’s a trap so no one can find it. But it would be so stupid to hide a treasure and let nobody find it.

My phone vibrates as I receive a message from Kie.

‘giiirl!!! there’s a kegger tonight, ur in?’

‘my parents aren’t gonna let me come but enjoy it w/o me ;)’

‘nooo, ask ‘em anyway maybe they’re ok?’

‘ok i will, i let u know’

‘what bout ur dads office?’

‘not much except the name of one of my ancestor, weird stuff i think, have 2 look deeper into his history, i already have a plan’

‘great, we talk bout it tonight, i’m sure ur gonna come, l8r!’

I smile and sigh as I let myself fall on my bed, exhausted. What the hell is this family…

~

“Oh, Dad, your office was open today but I closed the door, I don’t think anybody get in.”

“And you, did you get in?” I look up at him and see in his eyes a bit of fear crossing his regard. “No, of course no, maybe that I sometimes break the rules, but not that one, I’m not crazy.”

“That’s my girl, thank you Thara.”

I smile a little and start to stare at him so he can understand that I wanna ask something. “What” He asks as if he already knew what I wanted to ask.

“Can you do me a favor? So there’s basically this party tonight, at the beach, and I would be so happy to go, even kooks are going say yes please! Just this time.” They all look at each other as the ambiance in the room suddenly change, becoming like they’re all on the same wavelenght. I frown and their silence is killing me, making me giving up as I walk to the stairs. “Thara, come back.”

A touch of hope is setting fire to my body, I need to go there to see them and let them see what I found and what’s strange, and also tell them about my plan.

“Alyssa’s coming with you, and you come back before 2pm.”

The smile on my face is getting wide and stop me from saying anything, I’m hugging my Dad before joining my room to text the crew and say them I’m coming. I can’t wait to see them, it’s been a few days that I can’t get out because of my Dad. Or because of me, and my little escape on John B’s birthday. But that’s OK.

‘i’m coming guys i’m so excited!!!’

I let my phone down on my bed and go get simple clothes in my closet because I didn’t put anything else but my pajamas today so… let’s say it’s only another unproductive day in my life. I choose denim destroyed shorts and a black bikini top. I shove a sweater in my bag, add my key because we never know maybe we’ll be locked outside, and I also put deodorant even if it’s never useful because I forget about it every time.

“When are we leaving?”

“Now, ready?” Alyssa arrives in my room, smiling and apparently really happy to come with me. “Yeah of course girl!”

We’re leaving the house, I ask the chauffeur to turn up the volume and we’re singing off key as the car’s running through the rich streets of Figure Eight. Once we’re arrived at the Cut, my smile widen as the music gets louder the more we move closer to the beach.

The sun’s setting in a beautiful color scale of red, orange and yellow. The sky is amazing and the party seems to be awesome. “Are your friends here?”

“Yeah, I’ve to talk to them, that’s confidential sorry babe.”

“What is it about?” She laughs a little and I do little more than raise my shoulders, with a little smile on my face. “Nothing. Don’t worry and have fun tonight, you’ll see that pogue kegger are really cool.”

“Yeah, OK, but don’t go to far away from this place please, I wanna keep an eye on you.”

“No problem.”

I hear my name the minute after we go through in the crowd, dancing and singing to the loud music, and Sarah, with Kie, run to me and grab my hands to take me to their spot where we’re gonna be able to talk in peace. “Later girl, have a great night!” Sarah shout out while looking at my sister as we leave her.

I can see the boys some meters away, John B’s making us signs with his arms, Pope’s doing the same, like idiots, and JJ’s… looking at us like a zombie would do. As usual when I’m here. I don’t know what’s wrong with me so he hates me that much, I never said anything nasty to him. I guess it’s because I’m a kook, but the girls are too…

“Boys we have to talk, right now.”

“’Bout what I think?” John B’s looking at us, waiting for an answer, as I raise my eyebrows.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking about but I think it’s what you think.” We smile and all sit in a little circle.

I take my phone in my back pocket and start my little recap of everything, and then I find the pictures in my gallery and show them as I continue with my theory, with my grandfather. They’re surprisingly all listening to me, and I all of a sudden feel important, and… not loved, but maybe that I’m part of this group more than I though. Great feelings in this blurry situation…

“So, you think your great great great great great grandpa’s involved in this gold thing?” Pope asks, looking at me as he raises his shoulders.

“Before I answer, can you tell me if you believe in this ‘gold thing’?”

They’re all looking at each other and finally looking back at me, their concerned and haunted eyes diving in mine give me goose bumps and I frown before I look away. “OK. Maybe don’t tell me... yeah, don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know.”

“I’ll tell you, but for now, we have something else to mind…” I agree by a nod of the head and we pay a little more attention to the pictures I took earlier in the day.

~

It’s been a while since we stopped talking about this ‘gold thing’, but the look of my sister’s constantly on me make me think she’s not enjoying the party at all… she looks like she’s waiting for something, or maybe someone… but I don’t think her Prince Charming is going to come here, in the Cut, to enjoy a kegger with pogues…

I’m about to stand and go talk to her to see how she’s doing when a hand grabs my shoulder with harsh, making me wincing and spinning around to see who’s behind me. My eyebrows are raising instantly when my eyes land on Nate. “I’m busy.”

A little smile’s drawing on his face as I feel all the eyes staring at us like a spectacle was ready to begin. What’s wrong with all of them, because the more I look at all the faces, the more I notice that they’re all kooks. “Did you hear me? I’m busy guys, leave us-”

“So after spitting in these fucking pogues faces you’re spitting on us? Fuck you Thara Abrams.” He snaps at me and the silence goes wild. “What’s your problem? You’re with ‘em now?”

“Why does it affects you, you never liked me and I never did so go back to your peaceful life of kooks.”

“Go fuck yourself dirty bitch!” A voice yells at me as others are doing the same, my heartbeats gets quicker and the voices end up by making me feel as little as shit. I’m standing here, surrounded by angry kooks, what a surprise when you think that I never spit in their faces of freaking rich. I’m one of them anyway, why would I do that…

“Shut the hell up and don’t forget where your asses are.” The booming voice of JJ resonate and is hushing everyone up. I shiver and an evil laugh comes out of Nate’s mouth, looking at me with rage and a bad smile on his face. “Listen I never said anything bad on you all so just have fun tonight.”

“So who said that we were rich assholes without brain?”

“Yeah, or that you were the only kook who were good to others?” The remarks go strong and everyone is adding his own comment on what I apparently said on them. “I heard that your parents locked you up because you were as dumb as a rock, so they were scared that you do something worthy of shit. I don’t-”

My brain stop to listen to these nasty comments that make a tear running on my cheek, slowly, as my feet take me somewhere I don’t even know. I walk, through the mob, shaking and in shock. ‘Slut’. ‘You disgust me, how can you say that on us and hang with these shit’. ‘You didn’t deserve to be born’.

~

hii! i'm so proud of this chapter i hope you liked it!! i'm doint my very best to write something great and this chapter makes me so happy!! moreover some plot ideas that i get lately are finally gonna b revealed so i hope it makes you as excited as i am, love uu, byye!

ps: sorry if i seem as excited, it's just that i'm really proud to challenge myself this way, it's something i never did, and i'm a lot under pressure bc of me, i'm scared not to be good enough so, tbh it could really help me to get your opinion, thank uu anyway for reading this story, and i hope you like it :3

#outerbanks #johnb #jj maybank #kiara carrera #pope heyward #sarah cameron #gold #secret #mystery #kook #pogue life #pogue #lies

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 8:

I’m sitting here since maybe half an hour, Sarah came once, to see what happened, but I said that she had to go with the others to enjoy and let me deal with it. I have no idea of what is the solution to these issues, I don’t know if I should stay or come back home, and I don’t know if my Dad’s meant what he said or if it just was to hurt me and make me come back.

I didn’t know words could hurt that much, but I guess I’ll experience even worse in the future, it’s called life, and it’s not supposed to be easy… I mean, for some person everything’s perfect, and beautiful, and kind, but, who’s really believing in this kind of life? Because I gave up for a long time now.

I stopped crying, and I realized I was fucking ridiculous, and stronger than that. Well, I thought that I was stronger than that but I’m weak. “Eh, what happened?” Kie’s voice surprise me as I look at her out of the corner of my eye, incapable of fainting a smile. “Nothing, just enjoy the party, that’s... it doesn’t matter.”

“Girl did you see you? You look like a zombie, I’m not joking.” She laughs a little and sits next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“My father, he just wants me to come back, that’s nothing, I’m just ridiculous as fuck right now. I swear I’m not childish I just lost my… my composure.”

“That’s OK, I don’t think you’re a kid, not as much as these guys over there at least, because they’re the craziest kids I know.”

We smile as our eyes sweep the water, with the sun reflection, and the little moves that makes the marsh shine. That’s really relaxing to be here while thinking about my shitty existence. “If you’re not comin’ back home then come with us, you’ll have fun and think about somethin’ else, get up.”

She stands up and takes my hands to encourage me to stand up at my turn, but I raise hesitantly my shoulders. I can’t stop thinking about this situation, I don’t think they can understand how my father can be… scary and just so… cold, even with his own family. “No, I-”

“Thara, you clearly don’t deserve to stay here alone OK, get up and c’mon, let’s have fun!” She smiles at me and I sigh, before standing up under her support. We join the others and I try to keep a smile on my face, even if my eyes are betraying me. “What happen, I though you just were on a call?” John B asks, quit concerned.

“Don’t worry that’s, hum, that’s nothing, just enjoy today. I’m sorry, for the phone, it ruined everything.”

“Nah, it could’ve happen to anyone of you, that’s OK.”

We sit here all and talk while eating a lot of cake, then we put a little bit of music, and the girls are doing an amazing duo when it comes to dance. I never been a good dancer, so I’m just staying here, looking at them both, beaming and smiling to life. Whereas I can’t enjoy, even if I tried.

The stress is just filling me when I starts to think of the conversation I’ll have with my Dad tonight, I’m scared that he completely lock me up, I’m not ready to stop hanging out with these people that I already love for the most part.

The girls are taking me away from my thoughts when they both take one of my hand to make me dance with them. After a while dancing, with the boys running everywhere and screaming the lyrics, and 2:30pm past, we all decide to change and get onto the boat. I send a message to Alyssa where I’m completely beginning her to say to Dad that I came home and that I come back in two hours maximum.

She responds quickly and my heart melt at the second where I read it.

"i do it just bc i love u and i don't want dad to yell at u, but if u wanna hang out b more careful, i'm not onna b able to have ur back everytime. enjoy and b at home in an hour and a half, mom's comin back sooner, love u"

I smile and put back my phone in my back pocket as the boat starts. We continue to have fun and I feel like I finally have a normal life. Pope and John B grab their respective girlfriends and throw them in the water before jumping into it with their clothes on. The smile on my face widen and I sit, looking at them with sparkling eyes and happiness running in my body.

“JJ c’mon bro, the water’s good, Thara, jump!” John B shouts out before Sarah and Kie drown him, laughing at his face when he comes back to the surface. “Guys, come on why aren’t you have a bath it’s John B’s day, let’s enjoy!” Kie looks at JJ and me as I frown and raise my shoulders. “Maybe later, I-”

“No you’re comin’ right now, sorry for you.” John B’s coming and gets back on the boat to grab me, but I stand up and back up, looking at him smiling and determined to put me into the water. “I know it’s your birthday but I’m not in the mood I got some problems and-”

“I don’t care it’s my birthday, just forget your problems.”

“It’s not that easy, if it was I knew it.” I laugh and the border of the boat stop me from back up more. “Aren’t you a little stuck?” He raises his eyebrows and at the moment where I try to run away he catches me and throws me over the boat.

A scream escapes from my mouth and I dive, coming back to the surface as soon as I can and show him my middle finger. “Man it’s the second time, when are you gonna leave me alone?” I laugh and he raises again his shoulders as an answer.

~

I’m home, my mother’s just came back and I didn’t have the time to shower so lets pray, because if she smells the scent of the salt water on my hair I’m dead. We’re in front of the TV with Alyssa when she comes into the room and looks at me nastily. “I apologized, I’m sorry, no need to look at me-”

“Stop.” I grit my teeth a she continues to stare at me like I was nothing. “Please stop because you have no idea what Dad said to me, I think now I understand how I’m the shame of the family.”

“Whatever he told you, you certainly deserved it young girl. You can’t get out of this house, is it clear?”

“Yes, just leave me alone, your all always on my back and I’m tired of-”

“Don’t speak to me like that Thara, I am not responsible of your acts, you wanna be treated like an adult so be an adult, don’t behave like a capricious five years-old girl.”

I don’t respond and let her talk, I don’t want to be arrogant or disrespectful towards her, but with Dad they’re way to harsh on me lately, for nothing. “I hope you enjoyed your little trip because it’ll be the last one before a long time.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Cooler than everything I did with you at least. I must go, I have things to do. Good night.” I stand up and walk to the stairs under the cold look of my dear mother. “Because you don’t eat tonight?”

“No, the call of Dad put me off the food, enjoy the meal without your ridiculous and naive little girl, you’ll be chilled, just the four of you without me.”

I join my room and sigh as I press my back over the door. I don’t know why but every time I’m arguing my heartbeats are so quick that I can barely breath…

My mind suddenly make me think about the gun that I saw in my Dad’s office the other day. I let myself slide against the door and the fact that to have a gun in my house is certainly not a good thing hit me. Why do he owns a fucking gun? Did he killed people? Is it only to protect us?

And, what are they so close to? What could I mess up? All this questions are invading my mind, and I start to imagine a whole bunch of horrible things they could do. Are they really at the head of a vineyard or is it something else? Like a drug network. Oh my God, no, that’s not possible. Is this like, a quest to find someone? And are they killing people who knows to much or who don’t know anything?

Are Isaac and Alyssa aware of this damn secret? No, Aly would talk to me about it, I’m almost sure of it. But what if Isaac is in, and not Alyssa because they know that I’m closer to her than to Isaac?

The whole thing is saying that they’re fucking scared of me or of what I could do. And it’s obvious, I’m rejected of everything, they all can go outside, so maybe they’re meeting somewhere to talk about drug, or about a dark business like killing people for money, or anything else.

I wince and a feeling of being sick is taking me, as I feel more and more sickened by all this thing. I don’t have any proof, except the gun, and this conversation, but I need to know more about this thing that they’re hiding from me.

~

It’s later in the evening, I had a shower and finished my book, but I have to admit my stomach hurts so bad, the lack of food in my body’s gonna killing me if I don’t eat anything before sleep, so I decided to go to the kitchen.

The thing is, on my way I heard voices in my Dad’s office, and I’m actually listening to a conversation between my whole family, without me. Everything’s OK. I can’t hear everything but it’s so weird, they’re talking about some gold and places where it could be hiding at the moment. Neither my family’s completely crazy nor I’m off beam. “We’re really close, I think we’re on the right path.”

Be on the right path for what? This “gold”. I can’t believe that shit, there’s no gold on this island, nothing. I sigh, tired of waiting in front of the door since forever, and go to the kitchen to get me some food. The chocolate catch my eyes but I hold myself back and pick a fruit smoothie and some pancakes.

The door’s opening and the voices get louder. They’re pretty good actors though, I’d never though they were hiding something big from me.

“What are you doing here this late?”

“Hi, Dad, how are you since our little call? I hope it felt good to insult me and unleashed your anger at me.”

“Don’t start to get on my nerves and go to sleep.”

“Yeah, because I’m ridiculous, I play the perfect little girl. Or maybe the coward, I don’t remember.”

“Thara please, I got a long day.”

“Oh, me too. At least I have friends to talk to, we’re not all lonely as fuck.” I don’t bat an eye and he loudly sigh as I walk next to him.” Good night, daddy.

Maybe sometimes they’ll understand what I want them to understand, in other word that I want to be treated like Isaac and Alyssa, not like a little capricious girl. I’m not this kind of person but they keep on pretending I am in front of everyone. Anyway I come back to my room and eat my snack before putting myself under my sheets and fall asleep like a baby.

~

Footsteps don’t stop to resonate since an eternity and even if I managed to fall back asleep three times this night with these sounds and my Dad’s voice, I’m not gonna do it a fourth time. I get up, the floor is freezing my whole body as I slowly walk to my door to open it and glance over the corridor. Nothing. He’s downstairs, fuck…

I walk like a zombie to join the stairs but the front door’s opening make me stop, even step back a little not to be seen. What the hell… Two men are coming in as my Dad’s welcoming them discreetly, they talk a little, whispering, and I can’t hear anything from where I am.

Their loud footsteps make me think they’re joining the living room, or the kitchen, and they start to talk aloud. Who are they? And what the fuck are they talking about at 4pm… I sit on the first step of the stairs and listen with attention their conversation.

The gold again, what’s the point? Is really there some million dollars hiding somewhere on the island? No way, that’s just not possible, not in our world. We’re not in a movie.

“Thara, what are you doing here?”

hii! sorry for the little waiting, i finally saw my family bc lockdown is over in France, i took a lil bit of time for me. this chapter's not good but i worked a lot on the plot lately, a lot of thing's gonna happen soon, at least i hope ^^

i hope everything's good for you, i hope your family's good too and, yeah, love uu thank u to read me, byye!

#outerbanks #pogue #kook #secret #johnb #pope heyward #jj maybank #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #mystery #gold

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 7:

“No, she’s acting weird lately, I don’t think the rumors worked…”

“It has to work, we can’t let her do her things, and sometimes she’ll have to work with us. The problem is her behavior of spoiled rotten little girl. We can’t let her starts to stick her nose into our business, not now, we’re so close and she doesn’t give a shit about what we’re doing. She’ll know when the time will comes.”

“Don’t worry, she’s not gonna mess everything up. She’s not confident enough to face up to you.”

Are they talking about me? I stay where I am and continue to listen to them with attention, stuck against the living room wall. Are they fucking talking behind my back about me, and just put me down like it was normal. And after my Mom’s gonna coming to my room and proposes to go shopping together… bullshit.

“I’m not sure about this anymore, look what she did at the Cameron’s, we can’t continue to go to this kind of events with her.” My Dad seems to contain his anger inside.

Is he that mad at me? What did I do like, I apologized for the Cameron’s… I decide to walk in as if nothing had happened, just to see their reaction. Are they gonna argue or be kind…

“Sweetie, how’s it going?”

“Good.” I try to act normal, but it’s rather delicate when I see how they lie to me. That’s disgusting. “What were you doing?” Asks my Mom to break the silence, as I get some cookies and an apple. “Some work. Not gonna disturb you for too long, I’m just getting these.” I show us what I’m taking and give them a faint smile that burns my lips before coming back to my room.

So on top of being hypocrites with the other Kooks, they’re also hypocrites with their own family. Great, I’ve such a good entourage... I climb up the stairs and lock my door before jumping on my bed and open my laptop to keep my mind off things.

OK. If I understand well, something’s going on in this house, and they think I’m gonna mess everything up, even if I don’t know what they mean. What the hell… and since when they’re hiding things from me? And… what the hell could I do?

Maybe I just should forget it, why do I even care… I don’t have to care anymore about their problems, or anything else. As long as I managed to get out of this house secretly, I also have to play the good girl, not to be suspected to leave and enjoy. Apparently enjoy is a crime here.

Let’s call Sarah, and if never she’s with John B, I could call Kie, and, if she’s with Pope… well, I won’t call anyone.

“Heyy! What’s up babe?” Her screaming voice resonates in my ear.

“Not much.” I laugh as wincing a little. “What happen, you just destroyed my ear.”

“It’s John B’s birthday and I have a gift like, the best ever!”

“Oh, I didn’t know! What’s the gift, I wanna know!” I shout out at my turn, certainly destroying her ear.

“He kinda hates to dress up, so I bought a whole chic outfit, just to joke, and then the true gift will be revealed, it’s a new surf board and it’s awesome! I had the idea that we all could dress up and celebrate at John B’s before going on the marsh, so I give him his outfit, we celebrate and everything, and then you all arrive and I give him the surfboard, and we put music and-”

“Eh, aren’t you a little nervous? “

I laugh and don’t hear any answer form her. The silence is the only response that I got for a while so I frown as I sit up in my bed, is she OK…? “Sarah?”

“Yes, sorry I…” Her sniffing make me feel more and more worried as I completely stand up, concerned about what’s happening. “Eh, what’s wrong?” I ask with a sympathetic voice, this kind of behavior doesn’t feel like her, that’s really troubling to know her in such a state. When she starts to sob quietly I got a pang of emotion, that just makes me shake as tears come into my brown eyes.

“I don’t even know why am I crying.” Her strangled voice stop her from talking as her words become little sob. “Sarah is it serious?”

“Non, no I’m just feeling so-so nervous about today because I-I never loved someone as I love John B and I...”

“Baby, you don’t have to be nervous, you’re the best girlfriend John B could be with and he loves you I swear. Sarah I’m not tellin’ you this because you’re my best friend but, you’re my best friend and you’re gorgeous so don’t be nervous.” I wipe the lonely tear that runs on my cheek and sigh a little. “Thank you, I’m ridiculous I just don’t know how to act, I can’t describe how… I don’t know, I just love him. So much.”

“I know, you guys are so cute and he’s gonna love your gift.” We continue to talk for at least an hour and we eventually stop the call to prepare for the famous birthday of mister Routledge. I’m not sure my whole business family left the house but they’re not gonna lock me in this house today, even less now.

It’s been two weeks that I manage to get out when they left to enjoy my summer, and then I come back before they do and they don’t know anything. Moreover, I’m not sure he’s ready to come in the Cut to search me so, there’s no problem.

Lately I noticed that my parents were at home sooner than usual, so they maybe have doubts, I hear them talking a lot about me, without they know it, and they have million calls, more than before, so I don’t know whats going on but… the ambiance here is weird feel like I’m kind of excluded from all this business. It doesn’t disturb me that much but it’s like they don’t want me to know, and the little talk between my parents earlier confirm my doubts…

I have to admit I prefer to stay away from their things but something changed and I feel so… curious about all this. Curious, but scared. My Dad’s sometimes yelling at the phone like it was a matter of life and death.

Anyway, I but on a tiny bit of makeup and chose to wear a short ruffle blue dress, with thin straps and a V-neck, something pretty and comfy at the same time. Then I put my Converse that I washed a while ago and am perfume myself as someone ring the doorbell. “I’m comin’ babe!”

I go downstairs quickly with my bag full of a chiller outfit, some deodorant and food, check my face in the mirror next to the door and finally open it. My eyes wide and I step back as I discover a broad-shouldered man in front of me, all black dressed except his whit shirt under his suit. “Hum, hello?”

“Thara Abrams?”

“Yes?”

“Follow me.”

“What? No, I don’t even know you.”

“A friend of your parents, they want you to be with them.” Does he think that I’m dumb? Who the hell is this man, I never saw it in my whole life and he says that he’s a friend of my parents, really?

“And how could I be sure about what you’re saying?”

“Because they charged me to pick you up maybe?”

“Drop dead.” I shut the door in his face without him stopping me from doing it and I breath. I didn’t notice but my heartbeats are too quick to be normal, and my hands are shaking. Why am I so nervous, he’s nobody.

What if he’s right? Since when my parents send someone to pick me up like… they never did it, I don’t understand why would they do it now. I grab my phone and call my Dad to get some answers to the questions that cross my mind.

“Yes, what’s wrong?”

“Did you send someone to take me to the vineyard with you?” He sigh and doesn’t respond to my question. S it probably means that’s true. “Just follow him darling, he’s a friend.”

“‘Darling’? Really?”

“Don’t make me come and do what I say Thara.” I hang up the phone and run my fingers in my hair as a sigh escape from my lips. Like I said, there’s something wrong, that’s obvious. My phone rings and I see Sarah’s face on the screen.

“Girl who’s the man in front of your door?”

“He’s still here? Oh, fuck…”

“Who’s it?”

“I don’t know, he wants to take me to the vineyard of my father, just…” I stop to talk as an idea is emerging in my mind, and a crooked smile is drawing on my lips. “Thara?”

“Yeah, I have a plan, wait me at the police station, I’ll be there quickly.”

“Be careful girl, we don’t know this man.”

“He doesn’t look like a criminal, and moreover he doesn’t even really look like a smart-ass.” We laugh a little before hanging the phone and I breath again. I don’t even know why would it be dangerous. That’s totally OK, he’s just not ready for what I got in mind.

I re-open the door and fake a smile that he seems to see as a smile of excuse. Not a smart boy… “I’m sorry I just lost my composure. You’re well-dressed, nice suit.” I continue to smile and walk until the car to get in, next to the driving seat. He take place in front of the steering wheel. He starts the car in silence and he drives toward the vineyard. “Can we please stop to the Starbucks? I rarely get out of the house, it would be a pleasure to drink something better than water of fruit juice. But just if you’re OK.”

“Yeah, of course, but be quick please.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate. Do you know where is it?” He confusedly says no, so I change a little my plan and tell him the direction to the police station. I don’t think he’ll understand until we park before I get out of the car to run away.

Once arrived I take my bag and look at him, a grateful air on my face. “Thank you for this ride monsieur.” I open the car door and put a first foot on the ground. “It was a pleasure but I’m pretty busy, say hi to my dear daddy.”

“What, no!”

When his voice resonate in the street my feet are already running on the concrete toward the black Volvo of Sarah, parked some meters further away. She gets in the car and I do the same, out of breath and a victorious smile on my face. It feels amazing.

“Starts the car, c’mon!” We laugh and leave the police station parking to drive through some little streets that the smart-ass is not gonna know to follow us. “Thank you, you saved me.” I manage to say, short-winded. “You’re welcome. We should do this more often, it was cool!”

“Yeah, but not to much if I don’t wanna die before the end of the summer.”

“Oh” she looks at me as she slows down. your father, “I forgot about it, we never should’ve do that he’s gonna kill you… I’m sorry if you want I can-”

“No, he’s not gonna say anything, it’s OK. I’ll find something. Let’s have a good time.”

She agrees by nodding quietly her head and I raise my eyebrows. “Sarah that’s OK, my father’s not killer anyway.” I laugh and she sighs in a smile before telling me to shut up.

We arrived at John B’s and Sarah explain to me that we all arrive well-dressed, she gives him his outfit, we party and then we give him the surfboard. When she finishes talking she starts to feel some pressure.

“He’s gonna love it. Let’s go, I’m sure he can’t wait anymore to see you, and I’m also sure that the only thing he wants is you, so don’t be antsy.”

“Yeah, OK, it’s gonna be perfect.”

“Of course it is!”

We get out of the car together as the three others John B’s friends arrive, all really prepared and clean and beautiful. That’s so cool, he’s gonna love it. I don’t know John B for a long time but he’s a really cool guy, big-hearted and completely in love with my girl. And he accepted me, not like a certain blond who can’t stand me, not yet. I think it’s fro never.

We all say hello to each other, almost all, and walk to the door of the chateau. Kinda good name thought.

Sarah’s knocking at the door as we all wait, a smile on our faces. He opens the door, bleary-eyed and confused of our presence. Is eyebrows are frowning and his shoulders raising as a yawn escape from his mouth. “Happy birthday!” We all shout out, and Pope and JJ are jumping on him to piss him of gently.

They push him on the bed to crush him while laughing, and the girls and I are just… present? Yeah, we’re not really useful for the moment.

“Guys c’mon, get off!”

“Happy birthday old man!” JJ yell before tousle the brown hair of his best friend. Once they finish to tease John B, they all stand up and we look at them. They’re kids. They’ll be kids until the end of their life. “Thank girls, that’s really, hum, nice.”

He steps toward Sarah and the smile on her face widen. They kiss so softly that it adds something romantic in this non-romantic ambiance, before a pillow hits John B’s head and stop them. Kiara and I just burst out laughing as the face of the old man raise his face. I laugh so much that my abs hurt, then Sarah gives him his outfit.

He put it on and come back, her eyebrows raised. “Dude I never saw you prepared and you decide to do it for my birthday, what a gift bro.” He pats JJ’s shoulder and put his other arm behind Pope’s back.

We go take the cake in the car with Sarah and come back as we all starts to sing the happy birthday song. John B’s eyes are sparkling and when my phone suddenly ring in my bag a bad feeling capture me and I wince as they all look at me, singing.

“Fuck I’m so sorry… I ruin everything…”

The desire to leave this room and just go away is completely present in me, and I don’t even know why. Something like this can happen to everyone one but, I already struggle a lot to prove that it’s not because I’m a ‘kook’ that I can’t be a good person, even if they don’t always seem convinced and it makes me so nervous, so ruining everything makes me feel like shit.

I grab my phone and get out of the house not to disturb even more the celebration and see my father’s face on my screen. “Fuck… I sigh and pick up. Hi, Dad… what’s u-”

“Thara what’s going on in your head!” He yells so loud that I can move my phone a little away. “Where are you and… Are you thinking about your acts or are you just disobeying to everything I told you to do, because this little game is over, you come back home now.”

“No, Dad not now please it’s important and-”

“I don’t care!” His deep voice make me shiver and I grit my teeth, upset but scared as fuck. “Let me just today I swear I won’t disobey again please let me today and I-”

“Because you think that I believe you? Are you that much naive?”

My heart’s kind of… breaking like, in a million pieces when his words resonate in an echo in my head. Some tears run automatically on my cheeks as I try to stop them. “How do…” my strangled voice prevent me from saying anything more and the silence is the only noise that we can hear.

“Thara you come back home now and we’ll talk about it tonight. And don’t think you’ll ever get out of this house again. How can you be that ridiculous, do you think I didn’t notice your new behavior of perfect little girl?”

Tears can’t stop to run my cheeks and my face is soon sinking into tears as my heart’s almost dying when his insults come one after on, moving me so much that my body shakes a little. “Oh, you’re crying? Don’t think that I care, you can’t just play the rebel and then crap out like a coward. See you tonight at home, Alyssa’s at home to see if you come back.”

He hangs up the phone before I answer anything, but anyway I don’t think I have the strength to… What is wrong with him…

I stay here for a while and look around to see if I can sit somewhere and not totally ruin the party. It’s supposed to be the best day of the year for one of them so I’m not destroying everything Sarah prepared for him. I walk toward a tree and sit in front of the water, in a silence broke by my sniffle.

My tears are flooding my face and I can’t stop to wipe my eyes if I want to see something. His words are in repeat in my mind, I just can’t stand these things that just got out of his mouth so naturally, to talk about me.

I feel like these are the words he never could told me before, so he took advantage of the situation to hurl me insults and prove me that I’m nothing.

I feel like I’ve never been nothing.

#outerbanks #kook #pogue #jj maybank #pope heyward #kiara carrera #johnb #sarah cameron #pogue life

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 6:

“Thara, we have to go. Don’t worry for your father, he just call me and he doesn’t seem to be mad at you.” Sarah’s dad comes in her room and we smile. “OK, I’m coming.”

“I’m waiting for you in the car.”

“Thank you.”

He closes back the door and I look at the girls. My Dad’s gonna kill me. I sigh and get up out of the bed as I take my phone. They both take one of my hands and pull me towards them to hug me. “You’re definitely not a kook, but you’re not a pogue yet.”

“We’re gonna teach you how to become a pogue when you’re a kook, it’s easy, you’ll see.” Sarah kisses my cheek and I smile when they let me go. “Thank you girls, I text you to see when I can join you.”

“We’ll coming at yours to take you to the chateau.” Kiara proposes and I smile even more. “OK, thank you so much you two are the best. I love you babe, Kiara, you too you’re amazing. Later bitches.”

“Call me Kie.”

I send them a kiss and they do the same before I leave the room and close the door to rejoin Sarah’s dad. Ready to get murdered, everything’s OK. To be honest I have a plan, I don’t know if it’s gonna work but I hope.

I sit next to mister Cameron and he starts the car without saying a word. He’s so different than before. I remember the old him; he was so close to Sarah but at the same time really protective and mysterious about some things.

“Thank you again, it’s so sweet from you to let me sleep at yours.”

“No, that’s OK. Come back when you want.”

“Gonna be delicate with my father but I’ll see with him.”

We quickly arrive at home and I get out of the car as I’m thanking again Sarah’s father. I walk to the front door and exhale, girl you just have to apologize and say that you drank to much champagne. Lies are better than get killed by your own father so, I guess it’s my only option here.

I open the door, my dress from last night on, and as I do a first step Dad comes in the lobby to look dagger at me. I look away for a second and am ready to talk when he beats me to it. “We have to talk young girl. Right now.”

“I’m sorry.” His eyes slightly widen and I guess I wasn’t supposed to notice it. He becomes right away colder and… a kind of anger emerges from him and makes me shiver.

“I get too far, I’m sorry for what happened.” My hands are shaking and a feeling of scare take possession of me when he starts walking slowly towards me. My heartbeats resonate in my whole body and he puts his large and freezing cold hand on my cheek before making his eyes diving into mine. My breath becomes irregular and I grit my teeth to prevent myself from saying anything.

Why is he so… impressive and serious. “You’re excuses aren’t gonna settle the situation created by your little scene of last night.” His deep voice, almost whispering at my ear, is giving me chills as a knot is installing in my stomach.

My excuses aren’t gonna be enough and I don’t fucking have anything else to try to be as a good girl as possible. I should say that I’m not gonna be the good girl anymore. Only when I have to. And I’m in one of these moments where the good girl needs to be. “Dad I am really sorry, tell me what can I do to sort everything out.”

“Listen to me. Don’t do anything, is it clear? If I hear that you get out of this damn house I swear you’re not gonna be able to get out for the whole summer. For now go to your room and don’t leave until we call you.”

“Dad please I didn’t want to d-”

“Just go. Now.” I look down at the floor and stop myself from answering him back. “Well…”

He takes off his hand from my face and step aside to let me reach the stairs and rejoin my room. I didn’t miss this room. It’s too boring, I have to do something in there, at least to feel more in my world. And if they don’t like it, who cares, this room’s not theirs.

I lock the door to put on a pajamas and close my blind be in a good mood to read. Staying at home is absolutely not in my new goals, but to get out I must wait for everyone to leave before I do. And, I have to make sure anyone of the watchmen are seeing me; if they are I don’t know what would I say to them… Let’s say I’m not gonna be seen.

“T, can I come in?” Alyssa’s asking with a kinda neutral tone. “Gimme a sec, the door’s locked…” I get up out of the bed as my phone starts ringing. It’s Sarah. I get it and unlocked the door to open it. “So, did your dad killed you?”

“I guess he didn’t but you can’t imagine how cold he was, colder than JJ’s eyes when he’s looking at me, just imagine…”

Alyssa’s coming and frown at me when she understand who’s calling me.

“Are you sure of what you’re sayin’ because it’s serious, worse than JJ’s not possible.” Asks uncertainly Kie.

“I swear it is. Can I call you back later girls, in like, an hour?”

“Yeah, OK, later. And, be careful, we never know what can do something worse than the blond kid.”

“Yeah, bye.”

I look at Alyssa and she sighs silently. I know what does that means when she’s doing that. She’s disappointed, and if she’s telling me off in the next few seconds, I don’t understand. “C’mon, tell me to-”

“No Thara just…” She throws up her hands, kinda weary of me. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“So don’t say-”

“Stop. You used me last night. To help you to be arrogant towards Mom and Dad, in front of the whole island. What’s wrong with you?”

“For someone who didn’t know what to say…

I roll my eyes, rather annoyed that she’s got to accuse me, like everyone. She’s supposed to be on my side, and I didn’t used her, or at least it wasn’t my intention, I just wanted the things to be as clear as possible with Sarah. “You know you can talk to me, why don’t you do it?”

“Look, I didn’t used you, and I would never do that because you’re the only one who’s OK to talk to me and be so kind lately. I just wanna have a life. You all lived your life as you wanted, why wouldn’t I be able to do it as well? You ask me what’s wrong with me, but I’d like to know what’s wrong with Mom and Dad for them to stop me from seeing anybody.”

The conversation becomes heated and that’s not really usual, but if they need that to get what I want then they’re gonna have it. At least if I manage to be as bitterly as now...

“You can’t understand, you’re too young for that and we all have had problems with pogues. We’re just doing our job when we’re protecting you!” She almost shouts out to me as I feel like they’re taking me for a fool. “Of course, yeah, but I don’t need you to protect me! I’m responsible, I know what I’m doing! The only thing that I ask for is a life!” The words are getting out of my mouth by themselves and the anger’s gonna make me say things I don't want. “You, responsible? Are you kiddin’? So what you did last night was responsible and fit for an adult?”

“Sometimes when nobody’s listening to you, you have to act differently. It’s what I did.”

“You know what? Maybe you deserve what Dad’s doing to you by locking you up. You’re not an adult Thara, you’re a capricious little girl who only wants attention.”

She doesn’t even let me answer to this hurtful comment and storms out of my room. The walls are shaking for a second as I clench my fists and grit my teeth, not wanting this mean remark to affect me. I’m stronger than that. I guess I thought I was, because when the first tear’s running down my cheek, I can’t stop the others to do the same.

“Fuck.”

It always has been a big problem for me, I’m too sensitive, too attached to this family, and that’s stopping me from really letting go my anger and tell them hat I think. This argument with Alyssa’s maybe the beginning of me saying what weights on my heart lately.

Someone’s knocking at my door. Again. “What?” The door opens and Isaac appears, looking at me with a disgusted air. I roll my eyes full of tears and look at him, waiting for his remark. “What you did was really fucked-up.”

“Fuck you! Get the hell out!”

“No, because I want you to get it. You have no idea of the Mom’s state last night, why? Because you’re-”

“Just leave me alone Isaac!” I walk to the door and close it before turning the key into the keyhole and let myself slide against the door. Fuck all, all they can do is yelling at me and never listen to what I have to say. For everybody else, the youngest of the family is cherished and loved, but to be honest I’m not asking for that. I wanna live, I don’t think it’s a complex things to get.

~

The girls picked me up more or less two hours ago, and we’re at John B’s house, also known as the chateau. It’s chill, and it kinda makes me feel better than sooner in the morning… I can’t stop thinking about what happened, because… I’m usually never arguing with anyone of them. I don’t wanna say something I’ll regret or anything so I shut up and do my things, but this morning it was… hard and hurtful, I never seen Alyssa like that.

And to add at this shitty family that I love, there’s the arrogant behavior of JJ who’s not feeling better about me than last night. And I do the same, I’m not especially talking to him anyway.

“Who’s in?” I look up at them and frown as they all get up to walk to the boat. “What are we doing?” I rejoin them and we all get into the boat. Am I seasick? Don’t think so, but we never know. “Whatever we want, whenever we want. Remember our mission for the summer?”

“To have good time, all the time.”

“Or, having a better summer than the last one at least, shouldn’t be too hard.” I don’t ask anything about this famous last summer and JJ starts the boat as the girls take off their top to sunbathe.

The afternoon’s going well, we’re talking, laughing and bathe in the marsh. At least they bathe, not me. It’s not that I’m not comfortable in swimsuit but, they’re not all close people to me, at least not yet, so I prefer to keep my clothes on and see how it goes before even think of joining the girls and John B in the water. It doesn’t stop me from having one of the best moment in my life in a long time.

“C’mon girl, the water’s so good!”

“I don’t know, I-”

“Eh, do you wanna be a pogue?” John B’s asks and I open my mouth in front of his kinda threat. C’mon. “Are you sayin’ that if I’m not comin’ into the water I won’t be a pogue? Is that threat?”

“Yeah maybe.” He shrugs as getting close to the boat and then grab the ladder to come back onto the deck, where Pope was sitting against the side of the boat. John B puts his hands on his hips and looks at me insistently, waiting for me to say something.

“What? I have nothing more to say, you’re threatening me dude, and I’m not listening to orders anymore, so no, I’m not going into the water.” I raise my eyebrows and can’t avoid a smile. “Sure ‘bout that?”

For a moment that seems to last an eternity, he doesn’t do anything, and at the second where I dare to look at the girls in the water also looking at me, Pope and him catch hold of me to throw me into the warm water of the silent marsh, where my scream resonate in echo before I dive and come back to the surface to breath and put my hair back.

I look at the two guys who are laughing and giving each other high fives, proud of their little trick, as I slightly sigh in a smile. “Fuck you man.”

We laugh, I swim next to the boat to take off my clothes and I throw them at the boys who are looking at me like they falsely were superior to me. They complain when my soaking wet clothes are punching into their faces and John B shows me his middle finger.

“You really think you scare me?” I laugh and he whispers a little ‘fuck you’ before gathering speed and jumping into the water, splashing the girls by the way.

My first impression about true life is… absolutely freaking great, I love this life and, I’m not ready to go back to the old one. Bye bye to the old Thara, the kook bothered by her parents. Welcome to… Thara Abrams, neither a kook nor a pogue.

#outerbanks #johnb #sarah cameron #pope heyward #jj maybank #kook #pogue #pogue life #kiara carrera

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 5

When the man’s asking if someone would to give a talk, I finish my glass in one go and hurry and arrive in front of him to take the mic from his hand. I smile a little and turn towards everyone. I sigh a little before having a look at my Dad. He’s gonna get lose it, I see it on his face.

I fake a smile at him and try to think of what to say, I have to admit that I don’t even know what did I take the mic, but I won’t gonna put it down until I’ve said something.

“I hope everyone’s having a great night and,” A waiter pass just next to me so I take another glass. “I just wanted to raise a toast to love between pogues and kooks. Also I... well I wanted to say to anybody who’s maybe a little lost in life like me that, everything’s OK, just don’t listen to the orders that people give you, live your life the way you want even if some people just gonna turn their back on you, there always will be somebody to lean on. Whether it’s your parents, your siblings, just tell ‘em to fuck off. I smile. Thank you, and enjoy.”

I smile at Sarah as I shrug and raise my glass, and she does the same. Everyone’s raising their glass and I put down the mic. I hope my message to be clear for my parents, and also for others who could be like me, lost and alone, almost, because apparently we’re never alone.

Sarah’s staying with the pogues but I can see in her eyes that my message was crystal clear, and I’m happy about it. I quickly text her to know if I can come with them and she points to JJ by nodding before wincing. I whisper a little “OK” before coming back with my sister.

“Thara I don’t know if what you did was the right choice…”

“What, I only talk ‘bout love and union between pogues and kooks, that’s it.”

“No that’s not it, Mom and Dad aren’t dumb, you just should’ve talk to them ‘bout the fact that you feel alone-”

“No. You know as well as me that they never listen to me, and none of you are me, you can’t understand.” I grit my teeth and start to go when she firmly takes my wrist. “Almost everyone here got the message you tried to get across, the parents aren’t perfect but they don’t deserve to be fucked off by their daughter who doesn’t even understand what they’re doing for her.”

She spits at me while I’m taking off my wrist from her hand. “Because I deserve to be locked up in the house when you’re all outside doing your things, and being together, and always leave me?” I shout out and frown sadly. “I didn’t know that all of you hated me that much to always give up on me. Why are you all locking me up, uh?”

I start to have some tears in my eyes while a lump in my throat shows up. I have enough of orders, secrets and everything. No one knows here what my parents makes me enduring. What kind of parents ban to their kid not to get out, hang out or at least text some friends? Mine, apparently, but I’m tired of it, I want everything to change.

“We’re leaving. Come on girls, Isaac, let’s go.” Says me Dad walking to the house to leave.

My Mom, Alyssa and Isaac are following but I don’t wanna move. My body doesn’t want, and my brain too. I’m unable to move, I’m stuck.

“Thara, listen to me.”

“Orders, as usual. Aren’t you tired of this?” I ask bitterly. “What is your problem to understand that I don’t wanna live this way anymore.”

“Don’t make me a scene, we will talk about it at home. Hurry.”

“No. I’m not coming back home tonight. Maybe you’ll have the time to think about what you make me live since beginning of summer.”

“And where do you think you’re gonna go, young girl?” He smiles at me, skeptical. Everyone is watching us, like it was a fascinating spectacle. I’ve to admit that he’s got a point, I said that without knowing where am I gonna sleep… but there’s no way I’m going with them. “With me.”

My eyebrows are raising and I’m turning toward Sarah to smile. She’s coming next to me and take my hand before looking at my family. They all seem disappointed, and my father looks like he was ready to kill me. No joke, it’s scary.

“Yeah, Thara’s staying with us for the night. It’s not a problem, and I’ll take her home tomorrow in the afternoon.” Proposes Sarah’s Dad. This man isn’t a good man, everyone knows it even if I don’t personally know what happened, but he changed. A lot. He’s kind now, and he doesn’t seems to have been the bad guy.

“Well, do whatever you want, we’ll talk about everything tomorrow.”

“There’s nothing more to say but goodnight.” I reply with a cold tone and they leave. The music starts again, people stop looking at me after a moment and the party can continue in peace. I turn toward Sarah and smile, she’s the cutest. “Thank you, really, I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s nothing. And we’re gonna be able to do one of our girls night. But certainly with Kie.”

“The girl over there?

“Yeah, you’ll see, she’s amazing.”

“And she doesn’t seem to like me.”

“Because we have to talk about something, c’mon.” She keeps my hand in hers and we’re walking through everyone to rejoin the pogues. Why am I nervous? Maybe because they’re all looking at me like I was a monster. Or like I killed a hundred millions of people. Of course it’s not the case. “Guys, this is Thara, my best friend since years.”

Then she introduces them to me. There’s John B, tall with curly hair and a bandanna around his neck, JJ, the notorious JJ, the blond who obviously wanted to kill me with his eyes, Kiara, or Kie, a really cute girl with amazing brown hair, and Pope, the one who Nate beaten up at the beach.

“Hi, hum, good to meet you.” I try to smile but completely fail when I realize that they’re all looking at me with black looks. “OK, let’s move, we have something to talk about with you babe.”

“I have to admit that I don’t really feel like I’m welcome…”

“Because you’re not.” The blond grit his teeth and I bit my lip uncomfortably. “Guys please just… I don’t know, try to be cool.”

“I’m as cool as she’s been.”

“I don’t even know anyone of you, how do you want me to be cool or not with you? I didn’t do or say anything.” Nobody’s saying anything back and we arrive at the back of the garden and we sit on little chairs, in silence. This is kinda embarrassing, I feel like I’m sticking my nose in their things. It’s not a really comfy situation for me…

Sarah sigh before looking at me and shrug. “So, we hear some things that you apparently said on pogues. It was really harsh and they want you to excuse yourself.”

“What? Like what?”

“That we weren’t human but just dishes in ocean, thank you.” John B says ironically while looking at me.

“And I said that shit? I never said that in my life.”

“Yeah, and you also didn’t say that we were fucking dumb?” Asks Kiara before shrugging. “No, why would I say that I don’t even know you and you can ask my sister I always talk about pogues in a good way. I love the way you’re livin’, and you’re just… simple and fun, I don’t know how to explain, I… I could never say this kinda things I swear.”

“Bullshit.” JJ stands up to walk around and calm down. I sigh and look at Sarah. What the fuck is  this, I never said anything like this. “OK, you don’t like me, I got it. Now believe me or not I’m sick of kooks, they’re all hypocrites and fake. I should leave you all alone so you can think about it together, or criticize me, do whatever you want, but I don’t even know why would I say all that shit.”

I stand up at my turn, pass next to JJ who’s looking at me so badly that I think he could kill me and leave to come back to the party. Why would I say this? And if it’s not me who said it, then who is it who spread this damn rumors?

I’m taking a glass of champagne and decide to sit around a table and just stay here for a moment. Maybe they’ll understand that it’s not me. “Fuck…” I sigh and put down my glass to wipe my tear-stained face.

Why the hell am I crying… I keep on sniffing and silently crying for nothing for a moment. I have a family who doesn’t give a damn about me and no friends. And people who hates for things I never said in my whole shitty life. What a good changes… “Are you OK?” A quiet voice asks, with a concerned tone.

I look up and see Kiara in front of me so I frown and try to hide my tears by looking around before she sit next to me and call a waiter to get a champagne glass. “Yeah, I’m fine…”

“You know, I’m a kook too, and I understand what you said when you did your speech.”

“Wasn’t supposed to be a speech, rather a message.” My tears stop to run down my face. “For your parents apparently. What’s wrong with ‘em, they didn’t seem to be that harsh.”

“It’s complicated, I don’t wanna bother you with my family. They’re not worth it.” She takes a sip of champagne and shrug. “I believe you. About the thing that you didn’t say. I just wanted you to know.” She smiles and I do the same before standing.

“Thank you.” She starts walking and turns towards me while raising her eyebrows. “C’mon, I’m not leaving you alone.”

“No, they don’t like me and-”

“Girl c’mon, it’s JJ, he likes nobody.” I raise my eyebrows at my turn and she nods to insist. “I swear, moreover you’re a kook.”

“So you are.”

“Yeah but he knows me, don’t pay attention to him.” I’m hesitating for a moment and finally get up to follow her and come back to them. John B and Pope don’t seem to hate me. At least I don’t see it, but the blond is just completely against me. He sighs at the second where I sit next to Sarah and she frowns when she sees me.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

“That’s OK don’t worry.”

“I believe you but I have a question.” John B says and shrugs. “Who said it?”

“I don’t know, someone who hates me. Even if no one knows me to be honest.”

“What? How can people don’t know you?” Pope asks, frowning and seeming interested. “It’s, you know, it’s my parents, let it go, it’s… crazy. They kind of… keep me inside of the house.”

“Then why were you at the beach when your fucking friend beaten him up?” JJ asks offensively. “Because I have some places where I can go, but just some days, it’s always have been when they want and how they want. And, Nate’s not my friend.”

We continue to talk together, about parents, about pogues, kooks, this fucking world where we live, how the Outer Banks is the paradise on Earth and what are we all gonna do later, like… jobs and everything. The blond don’t say a word about nothing, and maybe that’s better this way…

When we realize the lights in the garden are switching off and that there isn’t anyone no more, we all stand up and join the house. The boys leave and Kiara stay with us. It’s a true girl night which is gonna start now. We climb up the stairs to go to Sarah’s room, she lends a pajamas to me and we change while continue to talk.

I have to admit, Kiara is a really chill girl, and I think I already really like her. Once all changed, we take place in the blonde’s bed and talk while watching a surf movie. I’m obsessed with surf since years and I asked my parents hundred times to have classes, but they never agreed.

“Do you girls surf?” I question while putting some pop-corns in my mouth. “Of course we are,” Shouts out Kiara before Sarah tell her to keep it down and laugh. “We’re pogues, of course we surf.”

“Can I ask you a favor?” I look at both of her in turns and smile, trying to be convincing. They shrug and I finally grit. “Could you learn me how to surf? I swear I’ll be the best student but you have to teach me I would love to surf, I exclaim and they both tell me to keep quiet before we laugh.”

“I can ask if JJ wanna teach you and...” Kie frown while slowing down the speed of her voice and Sarah and I are trying to prevent ourselves from bursting into laughter. “My bad, sorry, the thing is...” She also tries not to laugh but fails and we all start to have a fit of giggles.

After a moment we manage to calm down and I’m finally laying on the bed, my legs on Sarah to piss her off gently. “Girls?”

“Yeah?”

“Why were we laughing?”

They don’t respond and when I look at them they are looking at each other, smiling and trying not to have another fit of giggles. I laugh and put my eyes on the TV to pay more attention to the movie. The story catch my eye and I can’t stop to listen to it, even when the girls are throwing pillows at me.

“Hey! Stop that, I’m trying to be serious and attentive!” We laugh and in amount of ten minutes the movie’s ending. “OK, what do we do now? Oh wait! I got a question for both of you.” They look at each other and look at me while I’m smiling. “If I understand correctly, you two are dating. John B.” I point at Sarah and she smiles to agree. “And you,” I point at Kiara. “with Pope. Yes I’d the time to notice it and I have to say that you guys are so cute.”

“What ‘bout you, is there a little something with someone?” Sarah asks with a crooked smile.

“Not really, you know, it’s a little delicate when your father is lockin’ you up… meet new people is impossible.”

“The truth is, that’s not that delicate, I mean, you met JJ.” Kiara shrugs and I raise my eyebrows while faking a smile. “Maybe, but there’s a problem. He doesn’t like me and I have to admit that I don’t like him either. Truly not…”

I wince and they laugh before I join them. Then we talk and it feels so good, I feel accepted by someone, and I have someone who understand me and wanna help me. They’re both so cute and adorable and Kiara is certainly one of the best meeting of my life.

“You’ll see he’s not that impossible, and he’s kinda cute.” Sarah says while observing my reaction. I instantly frown and open my eyes wild while a little smile appears on my face. She laughs and Kiara does the same. “What, I mean, OK, maybe he’s cute but he also wanna kill me. I’m not really into killers.

#outerbanks #kook life #pogue life #pogue #kook #kiara #johnb #pope #sarah cameron #jj maybank

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 4:

I can finally get out of this house. It’s only for a few hours, but it’s better to be a step ahead, and I’m not gonna miss my chance to enjoy the fresh air of the island…

I finish adjusting my outfit and leave my room to rejoin my parents at the first floor, then my sister arrive too. She’s perfect, as usual, with her beautiful red hair and her elegant style. She just always is the one that my parents want me to be, and I really think that sometimes she likes it when they tell me that I should dress like her, but it’s Alyssa.

“Do you know where are we going, young girl?” Asks my mom while I’m checking my phone, waiting for Isaac to come. “Yes, sure,” I look up and shrug, “to the restaurant. What’s the matter?”.

“You should dress up correctly, we aren’t some of these parents who can’t afford a pretty dress for their daughter. Why don’t you put a dress on?”

“Mom, we only go to the restaurant, it’s not like it was an event or some chic parties. But next time I’ll try, promise.”

“Everything that we do does matter. People have to take us seriously. Go put a dress on now please.” My father come back from one of his million business calls. “Dad, please, I don’t want to-”

“You don’t have to discuss this decision. Just listen, we have to go.”

I slightly sigh and turn toward the stairs to climb it and get to my room to look into my closet and grab my favorite one, a simple blue short dress before putting it on. I don’t particularly have a problem with being well dressed but I feel like I’m mocking the people who can’t afford all this get-up when I put something really formal just to go to the restaurant…

I look at myself in the mirror and fake a smile. You can do it Thara, it’s only for a few hours, and it’s your favorite dress, I think as Dad yell my name from the first ground.

I don’t answer, brush my hair so it’s softer and perfume myself a little more. They should be happy of what they see now. Something’s missing tho… my eyes observe the makeup that I got and my eyeliner attract my regard. I decide to do a fine line on each one of my eyes, and I’m ready.

I lay my phone in my black purse, inhale and come back to my parents. They all inspect me and this kind of reaction’s pretty annoying for me, but I’m used to it.

“Can we go now?” I ask while opening the door to get out and prevent them from staring at me this way. “Sure, let’s go.”

“You look stunning Thara, you really should be more dressing up like this.” Says my mom when she starts walking next to me. “Thank you.”

“Being dressed up don’t prevent you from smiling, you should take a leaf out of your sister’s book.”

“Leave her alone OK.” My sister come to my defense and take my hand in hers. “I just say that she could be more enthusiastic than how she is-”

“Shut the hell up Isaac.”

“Kids, don’t make me a scene now and let’s have a good time, OK. Thara, pay attention to your language please, it’s not the language expected from you.”

I apologize and we arrive in front of the car. I give a faint smile to the man who opens me the car door before sitting into the black backseat. The leather make me shivering, and everything’s so dark on the inside, it’s like the night came in a minute.

The chauffeur starts the car, and we’re finally getting out of this house. This restaurant trip is the first thing that we do together since the beginning of this summer. They all seem to be so occupied that they always forgot our diner, or our walk on the beach, until today.

Once in the restaurant, a waiter guide us through the room and bring us at a table in a corner. We all take place and I quickly tie my hair up in a bun before my Dad look daggers at me. I do my best to ignore this look when my mind make me remember about the gun.

I can’t stop thinking about it. Since when does he need a fucking gun? And mostly, did he already used it? This question don’t wanna leave me, and every time I look at him in the eyes I just freak out. My Dad knows everything and if he notices that I get weird with him, he’s gonna questioning me until I “confess”.

“What do you want darling?” Asks my Mom while I get lost in my mind. I would prefer to be at the beach and eat burgers to be honest… “Hum, I don’t know, a chicken salad’s good I guess. I’m not hungry, I just wanna hang out at the beach so…”

“Sure?” Alyssa looks at me and I smile to agree.

We order, and the courses are quickly in front of us. I eat in less than fifteen minute. My impatience is killing me, and also my parents apparently. They take their time, talk business, and anyone of us is talking about something cool.

“Did you choose your options for next year sweetheart?” Dad brings some vegetables to his mouth while looking at me.

“Hum, I...” I shrug and look around to escape from this question. “I didn’t really think about it yet but like I told you, I’m not sure I wanna go to college…”

“And we already answered that it wasn’t an option.”

“But you can’t send me to college without my permission.”

“We’re doing whatever we want, we are your parents, darling.” My Mom fakes a smile at me and I grit my teeth.

I sigh and stand up before excusing myself and rapidly reach the bathroom. I arrive in the big room full of mirrors and decide to put a little bit of water on my cheeks. I feel so bad to be so controlled by them. I would like to have a talk with them, to discuss like adults about my future, not having to listen to their orders.

Dad certainly would like me to work for the vineyard, with him and Isaac. The kind of work where you’re staying in an office all day and come back at home to live a boring life. I don’t like this kinda work, I wanna be outside, feel the warmth of the sun all day and work for something useful. I wanna be useful for the Outer Banks.

My dream job would be to work with sea animals, it would be the goal of my like, working around dolphins, turtles, whales or sharks and fishes, I would love it. There’s a real world in the sea, and we don’t see it until we get interested in it. I just would to protect these fragile world...

The thing is, I don’t know yet if I wanna go to college and study marine biology or find a refuge or an association so volunteer can teach me everything they know. College isn’t gonna make me explore sea depth unlike associations or refuge, if I’m lucky.

I come back with my dear imperfect family and sit to wait until the end of the lunch so we can go to the beach, and feel the sun, and listen to the sea.

~

It’s the next day and tonight’s gonna be a really good moment, because we’re invite, like everyone on the island, pogues and kooks, at Cameron’s house. Why? Because every year we’re celebrating the union between people. I know, it’s completely hypocrite and kind of disgusting to know that everyone is playing a role to show that they’re perfect, kind, smart and everything.

Anyway, the party’s at 8pm, it’s 6pm and I didn’t start to prepare. I’m chilling since at least an hour and a half, checking my phone, walking around impatiently. Tonight, nobody’s gonna tell me what do I have to do, how do I have to act and with who do I have to talk, because it’s union and love.

Love’s big word but, they’re claiming that it’s a love relationship between kooks and pogues. It isn’t, of course, but that’s great, I’m so happy and I can’t wait. Tonight I have the chance to talk to Sarah and get everything clear with her. I hope she’s gonna forgive me…

“Babe! Did you choose what dress are you gonna wear tonight?” Alyssa’s asking from her room. “Yeah, I’m almost ready. What ‘bout you?”

“What did you choose?” She suddenly appears behind my door and enters to let herself fall on my bed. “Look, I didn’t even know this dress was in my closet but I love it.” I bring the dress that I found before the story of the gun and she smiles while observing it before standing up and take it from me. “Are you sure?”.

I frown, confused, and look at the dress. “Yeah. Is it too much with the sparkles and everything?”

“No. It’s not enough, do you have something else?”

“You kiddin’ me? This is enough for me.” Shes raises her eyebrows while looking back at me, surprised, even shook. “What, there’s a lot of sparkles, and it’s a long dress.”

“But nobody’s gonna notice you. You need a more puffy dress so-”

“No no no, that’s perfect for me if I’m invisible, leave me alone so I can put it on.”

“Babe how can you kick me out?” She asks with a fake sad voice and I sigh while smiling. “C’mon Aly, leave me alone girl!” We laugh and she gives up so I’m alone in my room. I put the dress on and lock myself in the bathroom. OK, I won’t leave this room until I’m ready, even if it takes the two hours left before the beginning of the celebration.

I turn on my speaker and put music so loud that I don’t hear anything else. And Dad’s not gonna tell me anything because he’s not here. And my mother doesn’t care that much. Anyway they’re pissed off against me since the pogue thing. The only one who could annoy me is Isaac, but I’m locked and I don’t hear nothing so I’m not gonna hear him and his complaining.

I start by the makeup, while dancing and singing in front of my mirror, and then I hear someone’s knocking when the song ends. I open and Alyssa’s coming in, dressed up. I know what does that means. Let’s sing and dance in wild dresses for two hours straight…

~

We’re all ready, and to be honest we took two hours and I only put mascara, eyeliner, a bit of blush and a translucent gloss. That’s it. And we just arrived at Sarah’s house, I can’t wait to have a talk with her, because I’m sure I can ask Alyssa to go and tell her to meet me at the bathroom or something.

I don’t know why am I so excited about tonight, it’s maybe because my life isn’t that fun, so when there’s a party that’s kinda cool. Anyway we’re warmly welcomed by Sarah’s parents, and they come with us to the garden, the big garden where everyone’s gossiping, drinking champagne and acting perfect.

I take the hand of Alyssa’s in mine and take her away so the parents aren’t hearing us.

“OK, I have a mission for you, and I’m serious. Can you please go talk to Sarah and tell her I’m waiting for her at the bathroom. And also tell that it’s serious like, I really want to, and don’t tell the parents.”

“What, why do you wanna talk to her, she’s-”

“My friend. She’s my friend and I love her so much, and since we can’t talk I never had the chance to explain her what happened.”

“And when?”

“Right now, go.”

She looks at me, exasperate by my person, and I smile so she does the same and search for the blond to go talk to her. I come back to my parents and tell them I have to go to the bathroom. They don’t seem to believe me but I don’t care, Sarah’s my best friend, we’ve been known each other for years. They’re not gonna keep me away from her for the eternity.

So I wait, five, or ten minutes, and the door eventually open before letting her coming in. We look at each other for a moment and I sadly frown before walking towards her so I can take her n my arms. She responds to my hug and I smile, relieved.

“I’m so sorry for everything and I didn’t mean to stop talking to you overnight.”

“You owe me an explanation tho babe.”

“I know.”

We let go each other and I sigh.

“It’s kinda simple, you know as well as me that my parents hate the pogues, and when they found out that you were hanging with them they just forced me to delete your phone number and forget you, but I never did, of course.” I let out a little nervous laugh.

“What, really? They really have a problem with pogues, I mean, they’re human, not monsters.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“Give me your phone, gonna write my number so we can talk again.”

I give her my phone and we continue to talk for sometimes before someone literally comes in and caught us. It’s actually her mom, and of based on how she’s, she’s not gonna tell my parents that we talked. I hope so…

She advises us to come back and we agree. At least we have our phones, and maybe I will have the chance to go with her at some moments of the evening. My parents won’t be able to keep their eyes on me all along the night.

“I’m so happy to talk to you again.” She says before hugging me. “Me too babe, I missed you so much.”

“Oh, also, you owe me an explanation about something else, but we talk ‘bout it by text, love you.” She gets out of the bathroom first. “Hum, yeah, OK, even if I don’t know what you’re talking about, love you too. You look amazing.”

“You too babe.” She turns towards me and send me a kiss.

We laugh and I get out of the bathroom at my turn. I come back with my parents again and smile at Alyssa when she shrugs. A waiter is walking through the people and distribute some glasses of champagne, I take two, for me and my amazing sis.

“Cheers! I laugh happily and she does the same.” My parents seem… cold with me. Or maybe they’re also like that with Aly and Isaac. All they have in mind is business, every time.

I spend my night drinking a lot champagne, talking, dancing and singing with Aly, and it’s a really good evening. Moreover, we’re texting with Sarah, everything’s perfect. The only boring thing is this man who’s doing a speech on love between people and everything, even if everyone of us know that war between pogues and kooks isn’t gonna end up that easily…

Moreover, I think I can put my parents in the list of boring things. They didn’t talk to me since we’re here, and I don’t even know why. Certainly because of what happened with this pogue and Nate… if only he didn’t tell everyone what happened, they would never have known.

I keep looking at them, smiling at everyone and ignoring me, and it makes me feel so bad, and abandoned, and it reminds me of everything they’re doing to keep me away from nobody even when I’m always acting like they want. I listen to their orders, I’m smiling to people that I don’t know because it’s polite, I try to do my best every time and it feels like they never notice.

It’s time for changes.

#outerbanks #outer #banks #outer banks #pogue #kook #sarah cameron #secret

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 3:

“You’re far from becoming a whale darling.”

We laugh and walk towards the Starbucks, because our drinks are basically waiting for us to come and buy them to become whales. That is the life we decided to live.

We arrive in the little coffee shop and order our drinks. They prepare it in a little amount of time before giving to us. We pay and get out of the shop, Alyssa’s telling me that Dad tried to call her.

“Why do they never try to call me? I’m an adult.”

“No you’re not babe, but, I don’t know, it’s just because... they just don’t wanna bother you.”

“They do it anyway.”

She looks at me while letting out a sigh and I shrug innocently. It’s the truth, but anyway. Aly takes me to one of the boutique she thinks could fit with my style and what I like, and we walk inside before she lets me for a minute the time to call Dad back.

I explore the sections of the shop, and I have to admit that Alyssa’s good for this one, I really like almost everything that catch my eyes.

I continue to dive into this chill vibes clothing boutique. A pair of jeans attract my regard, with three or four tank tops that I saw on Internet and that I really appreciate. I choose to try on two tops and the jeans that I already love so much. It’s ripped and the cut is a little oversized; totally something I’ll be wearing.

“Find somethin’?”

~

I bought all the stuff that I choose from the first boutique, and we’re basically just hanging out in the mall, gossiping and laughing at funny people in the shopping mall. Some people are just the craziest like, who’s coming into a mall to play football when they don’t even know how to shoot right in the ball?

“Where do we go now?” I ask, impatient to continue our little trip. “I don’t know, tell me, where do we go. Just look ‘round and choose a shop.”

“OK, hum,” I spin around and a cool store front just catch up my regard, “this one seems so great, let’s go!”

“Babe, this shop is kinda reserved.”

“For what?”

“Pogues.”

“You’re kidding?” I raise my eyebrows while looking at her, shook. “No, it’s a pogue shop. There’s not much pogues boutiques ‘round here but, this one is.”

“Well, that’s perfect, they wear pretty cool clothes. Let’s go.” I start to walk toward the shop but Aly stops me by taking my hand in hers. I look back at her and shrug before understanding the matter. “It’s OK if you don’t wanna go, you’re anti-pogues after all.” I laugh and she tries to give me a faint smile before fail it. “I said to Dad that I wasn’t leaving you alone. I come, it’s OK.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, c’mon.”

She seems against the idea, but she gets in front of me and walk toward the shop before I join her and hug her while walking. I’m so truly happy that we hang out, and moreover that she lets me do kind of whatever I want.

"You’re the best sis ever Aly, I love you babe. You love me?”

"Of course, if not we weren’t gonna buy stuff in a pogue’s shop.”

"You’re right. I love you, you know that?

"Of course, who doesn’t love me.” I sigh in a smile and push her away while she laughs and come back towards me to hug me at her turn. We finally come into the shop and the vibe is just so perfect, there’s some surfboards to decorate the boutique, and the music is as chill as possible. I start walking around again between the section, and it’s even more my style here.

Alyssa doesn’t talk a lot, but she seems to observe a lot around her.

“So, how does it feels to break the rule?” I ask, a smile on my face, while I go through the clothes. “I don’t know. Weird.”

“Doesn’t it feels fucking good?” I almost shout out when a smile’s drawing out on her lips. “Kind of. But don’t say it to the parents, I swear if you say a word ‘bout-”

“C’mon babe, why would I do that, they already have me in their sight.” We keep on walking around, and suddenly, this voice that my brain can’t even forget is speaking up. My face is crumpling, and I quickly take Alyssa’s hand so we move somewhere else in the shop.

“What the hell are you-”

“Shh…”

I can’t stop to looking around us. They’re gonna come in, they’re pogues, it’s not an option, they’re gonna come inside. Fuck. Alyssa’s making me look at her and asks me using her eyes what’s going on. My eyes just dive into hers, and a moment after, her face’s crumpling too. She got this.

“I wanna buy this stuff but I don’t want them to see me, like, I don’t want them to see me.”

“Why, who cares?”

“Them. Look, I don’t know why, but these guys weren’t that grateful for me to come and help the one who was lying on the floor.”

“C’mon, they’re not gonna kill you.”

“No, Alyssa please, the blond was so offensive, and before leaving he looked at me and… I don’t know, it was just… so cold and just pure nastiness against me.”

She sighs and I do the same before starting to leave the little area that I found to look around. Fuck, they’re gonna see us, they’re coming towards us.

The tone of the blond’s voice was so emotionless and mean, like, what did I do to him to receive this kind of attitude... I’m not saying that I’m perfect, but I never did anything to them, they’re not even supposed to know me because of my Dad’s rules…

“OK, let’s go.” I say, the clothes in my hands. “If we’re quick enough we can make it. I think.”

“No, but let’s go, I’m tired of staying here.”

“Yeah same.”

So we leave our safe zone and almost run toward the checkout. To be honest, I think we did it-

Shit. We didn’t. I can feel their looks burning my back and my heart starts to beat quicker. Why is this happening to me, I didn’t ask for nothing, I just wanted to hang out and have good time with my sis…

“It’s OK babe, just ignore them.”

“I can’t because I feel like he’s gonna kill me for fucking nothing.”

“They don’t.” I look back at them and see the blond’s walking toward us. I also remark that Sarah’s with them talking with a brown-haired boy.

“Oh, but it’s Thara Abrams, what a surprise.” He’s coming slowly in front of us and I do my best to ignore this kind of attention. I don’t understand why am I so nervous, like this is not me. C’mon girl, get a grip on yourself, you can do it, yell my conscience at my face.

Once he’s in front of us, I smile bitterly while he acts like he’s clearly superior to me. “What’s wrong with you?” I shrug, a lot more confident than a minute ago. “With me? Who’s the kook hanging in pogue’s territory? Between us,” he winces a little, acting dishonestly kindly, “you should go now.”

“Wow, so you just come to threat me?”

“No, I’m preventing you from doing a mistake, just leave.”

“I didn’t ask for you to give me advice, just leave me alone.”

He smiles again and stop looking at me with his annoying air.

“So now kooks can come into our territory, but pogues are beating up by pieces of shit like you because they do their job.” I frown at him and bite my lips before shrugging. “You kiddin’ me right? I don’t think you have something to say, I came to help him and you clearly told me to fuck off. Now this isn’t my problem, just do your things-”

“Oh, because now you play the victim? You don’t seem to remember what you said ‘bout us behind our back.”

“What the hell are you talking ‘bout?” He starts to go and turns towards me to repeat that I should let it go and leave.

He comes backs with the others and they all just stare at me like I was a piece of crap. I can see something different in the eyes of Sarah, like if I disappointed her, and I sadly frown.

We we’re used to be really good friends before she starts hanging with the rest of them. My parents don’t want me to talk to her, and when it happened they didn’t even let me explain her why we needed to bring our friendship to an end.

I loved her, I always will, and when I was allowed to see her my parent’s rules weren’t that formal. Now it’s as if I was living locked in a castle…

“T, your turn.” I turn towards her and she looks at the checkout so I do the same and smile to the cashier while giving him the clothes. We pay and just leave, the words of the blond in repeat on my mind. What did I do to him? And what could’ve I say, I almost can’t pronounce the “p” word without having my parents yelling at me to keep quiet about them.

“Let’s go back home, I got what I wanted.”

“Sure? Don’t let him ruin your day babe, wanna eat?” I think about it for a minute and accept before we start walking around to find a good fast food or somewhere we can eat good food. “Oh, can we eat sushi?” I ask when we meet a sushi shop. “Sure, let’s go. Didn’t know you liked it.”

“Yeah, because we never eat some at home, the parents doesn’t seem to like it.”

“Right, let’s gain weigh.”

“Babe! Sushi’s good for health. C’mon!”

~

We’re back home. The sushi was amazing, and I’m actually trying on everyone of the clothes that we bought to create some cool outfits, because I only have this to do.

Alyssa’s gone with my mother, because she would like to work with our Mom for the brand, so they have an appointment to talk about it with the boss. They both love fashion, but Alyssa’s really into it, she likes to look good and wear luxurious brand, basically the opposite of me. Mom prefers business, and she hopes that sometimes she could be the co-directrice of the business.

About Isaac, he’s certainly with my dear father, because he can’t live without him and do something by himself. I think they’re on company premises so, I’m by myself, and for once I kind of like it. I mean, I can do whatever I want here, even put the music so loud that the walls would be shaking. But I’m not, because if I do my Dad will know it so quickly that I couldn’t even have the chance to enjoy it.

I’m just walking around, playing with my cute clothes, even trying on pricey dresses that my parents bought me for special occasion. We have a lot of events, that we both organize at home or assist at somebody else’s house. We’re famous apparently, so we have to be at every single one of these chic parties.

My eyes are somehow attract by one of the dresses behind all the others. A beautiful sparkling baby pink long dress. The bottom is in tulle and the top is in this amazing fabric, it’s like a little see-through lace, really simple and there’s a v-neck, and some thin straps, and an awesome open back. I’m in love with a dress, rather surprising for someone who’s buying stuff in a pogue shop…

Am I changing? Fuck I’m becoming my sister and my mother. I like a damn chic gown. What is happening to me…

A noise downstairs draw my attention and I take my eyes off the big mirror in the bathroom to leave and rejoin the first floor. I’m walking around and, by passing the corridor, the open door of my Dad’s office perturb me. Why the hell is this door open, it’s always locked when I’m alone at home, I have the ban to go there, I don’t even remember of what it’s like on the inside.

I look around to check that nobody can catch me because I think I’ll be totally busted, and walk slowly towards the door while my heartbeats become more and more quick. Why do I feel like this door really isn’t supposed to be open… I swear when I’m saying that it’s the number one of the rule, I heard a hundred times not to go into this room all along my childhood, and I gave up.

I reach out for the doorknob and push the door to finally see what’s inside. It’s been years that I was wondering how it was in this room and it’s… darker than I thought it would be but, it’s kind of the cliché of the office where business men work hard.

The portrait of me on the wall makes me frown. Since when does he got this as a painting for his room… and it’s so big, why did he put my face here? To be honest it makes my heart melt, it shows that he loves me even if he doesn’t really show me.

I step forward and observe closely the room, because I think it’ll be the first and last time that I’ll be able to see it with my own eyes. I walk towards the big wood desk and touch it from my fingertips. I don’t know how to explain how I feel, it’s as if I was discovering something new, something… unexpected.

Then I hesitate. Should I look into the drawers? No, of course no, you’re not supposed to come here Thara. I stand there a minute staring at the first drawer. Nobody’s gonna notice, I guess I can have a look. I start to open slowly and quietly the drawer while looking at the door. If I get caught I’m fucking dead and buried. What could I find except boring papers and some useless shit, or even a-

“A gun.”

I close it up and my heart raise his beats while I’m almost having a panic attack. My Dad’s got a gun in his drawer. He’s got a fucking gun in his drawer.

~

hii, please let me know if there’s mistakes i’m french and it’s not easy but i wanna improve, thx so much for reading me it means a lot!!! hope you enojoyed ^^

#outerbanks #outer #banks #JJ #pogue #kook #friendship

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 2:

“So, girls, how was your day?” Ask my father while cutting a piece of meat and looking at me like I did something bad.

I do my best to ignore it when my mom starts talking about her meetings and boring business calls that she gets all along the day. She’s financial manager, so she’s got to manage a lot of things in the business. She works for a luxurious brand of clothes so, we can say that she earn a good living.

It’s the same for my father, he’s the leader of the vineyard of the island. Yes, the whole island. This is why he wants all of us to be perfect; because he’s got influence everywhere in this land.

“It was pretty basic for me,” Alyssa shrug. “I study a little and got a trip with some friends to shop and gossip.”

“What about you, darling?” Dad insists, and I look up toward him while shrug at my turn. “I studied a lot, and I also read, that’s basically what I’m doing everyday so…”

“Lucy told me that you were at the beach this morning.”

I raise some vegetables to my mouth and swallow before respond that I came back before lunch.

“And nothing happened?”

“Go ahead dad... I know when you want to reproach me for something. I did nothing bad I can promi-”

“So what happened with this pogue and Nate?” Isaac intervenes with an air of superiority. “Nothing.”

They all look at me while I’m dropping my fork and frown. Let’s fight again, against everyone single one of them, just because we’re gonna mention the pogues. My mom and Alyssa seem more surprise, they certainly don’t know what happened, contrary to my Dad and Isaac...

“They were beating him up.”

“But it was a pogue, that was none of your business young girl.” Mom tell me off and I raise my eyebrows. “I couldn’t just walk away without saying anything, I’m not a monster.”

“You are by talking and helping them.” Isaac hurl me and my father agree by nodding. “No I’m not, you are by letting Nate beating him up like he-”

“We are doing our best to keep you away from them and you always find a way to approach them!” Yell my father with a strong voice, making me shiver. “OK, I think I’m gonna go.” I answer with a quiet voice before leaving the table to quickly climb the stairs and prevent myself from letting my tears flow.

I enter in my room and lock my door so they just leave me alone. As usual they’re all together, and they know how I am, I’m not like these people who just let things happen when they can act, even more in this kind of situation. I still can remember of the violence of the punches that this pogue received, all for nothing, he was just doing his job, I guess.

I let myself fall in my bed and grab the book that I’m reading lately, Dark Romance by Penelope Douglas. This is a real masterpiece; it’s beautiful, deep and the title is a reflection of the story. I love it, and it allows me to escape from this suffocating lifestyle that my Dad imposes to me. Anyway I recommend it to anyone who likes romance.

Moreover, it’s in fact impossible for me to keep in close contact with someone given that my father is overprotecting me even tho I don’t need to be so protected by anyone.

I don’t think anybody know me for real, I don’t even know myself for real because of this constant acting around my family who wants me to act perfectly, to dress like a princess and to feel good when I’m low.

I start reading, under the warmth of my sheets, and with my subdue bed-side lamp which is giving to the room a cozy atmosphere that I could live in for days if I hadn’t to eat, drink or go to the bathroom… it’s the best feeling ever to be here, alone, with music in background, while imagining the story of this crazy novel in my head.

Someone suddenly knock at my door, so I let out a slight sigh before getting out of my bed to unlock and open it. Alyssa’s standing here, looking at me and obviously waiting for me to let her in.

“Well…” I whisper before let her by. “You have to gimme an explanation T, because I understand that you’re young and want to break the rules, but you can’t break this rule.” “Are you kidding me… I didn’t break any rules I just wanted to help him.”

“But you knew that Dad would just get out of his mind. When are you gonna see that he can’t stands them?”

“Oh because you thought that I didn’t notice?” I ask acidly while turning towards her. “You weren’t there instead of me, none of you were. He was lying on the floor, with nobody to defend him and-”

“And you thought “why wouldn’t I help him”, uh? Why? Because of this family, you have to keep your reputation as clean as possible.”

I grit my teeth as she sits on my couch, looking at me, her regard full of reproaches. I shrug and walk to the bed to sit next to her, flatly and sighting again, of exhaustion.

“I’m not like you.”

“I know. Come here.”

She wrap me in her arms and I put my head on her shoulder while looking at the pictures in my mind which are reminding me of the violence of Nate. He’s such an asshole, I understand why I never could stand by him…

“Les talk ‘bout you. How was it?”

She take off her arm of my shoulders to put her look on me. Her eyes are sparkling and she starts to grin, so I can guess that her date turned pretty well. Alyssa isn’t always the best sister, but she’s the best sister that I could’ve have.

We’re not talking about everything like others, and we’re more arguing than hugging and saying “i love you”, but I think our relation is improving a lot lately. She’s talking to me, and even if I’m not opening up a lot because I am the way I am, we’ve never been this close, and I finally can count on someone in this house.

“He was well dressed, and his perfume was… captivating, he was just handsome, and he’s gentleman and kind, and-”

“Got it, he’s perfect. Your Prince Charming. I’m jealous now, you’re happy?”

I let out a little laugh before moving backward in my bed so I can lean against the headboard, and she do the same while taking one of my fluffy pillow to play with.

“You don’t have to, you’re beautiful, and in my opinion, you’re smarter than Isaac and me, but don’t say it to him, he’s gonna go nuts.” She laughs at her turn. “And you’re the only one who seems to understand me so, thank you.” I timidly smile at her before putting back my head on her shoulder.

She’s so sweet with me lately, and I’m so grateful for her to come with me, and talk to me.

“Look, I understand why you think the pogues are good people. They seem to be cool, and chill, and just normal people, but, kooks can be too. I’m not supposed to say that to you, but there is this guy, dark-haired, green eyes and kind of… really tall, she let out another laugh while describing him.”

I frown and turn towards her, who the hell is she trying to describe to me… I keep on searching, in my mind, but I don’t think I know him…

“Oh! Kyle!” I shout out and a big smile take possession of my lips.

Alyssa burst out laughing in front of my reaction of me actually remember a boy that I only talk once, and I shrug after a moment.

“What’s wrong ‘bout him? He never got in troubles, and of what I can remember, he’s pretty smart.”

“He came talk to me once, and he asked if you had a boyfriend or if I thought that he could try his luck with-”

“What? With me? But we don’t even know each other!”

“Yeah I know! So I was like, are you sure, because you should get to know her before ask her on a date or something, and he was like yeah, you right, and I just left.”

“You left like, what? You just let him here?”

I burst out laughing by imagining the scene, and my dear sister just living him alone without giving him some tips or something.

“I think you saved my life by the way. I mean, Kyle’s a good man, he’s sweet and everything but, he’s too predictable.”

“Yeah, and, between us, even if his cute, there’s better. And he seems to be really into school, and class, and lesson you know. I knew it wasn’t your style.”

“Thank you, I confirm, you saved my life from getting out with a boring boy. No offense for him but… you know what I mean.” We laugh and I finish by completely laying on my bed, looking at the white ceiling.

“So, with mom, for tomorrow, she told me to say that your shopping session’s gonna wait a little more… I’m sorry, if you really wanna go I’ll go with you, and it could be great, that we hang out together like… more than now.”

She looks down at me and I prevent myself from becoming unpleasant with her, it’s not her fault, it’s Mom’s, but I was so happy that she proposed me to hang out just both of us that I just feel like she’s giving up on me, as usual.

“No, it’s OK, don’t change your plans for me, it’s nothing. I don’t need someone to be with me like a little girl.”

“T if I propose to you it’s that I wanna go with you, we never do anything together, and lately we’ve been so close. C’mon, say yes to your perfect sister to hang out with her!”

She spreads herself on me while looking at me with an imploring regard, and I can’t avoid the smile which is drawing out on my lips. I look down at her green eyes that are staring at me tirelessly and accept by nodding my head.

“Oh you’re the best! I love you my little sis, and I’m so sorry for the parents and Isaac because they’re acting like you’re doing wrong every time but I have to admit I wish I could be like you someti-”

“No you don’t. Aly you’re the one that mom idolize, how dare you to say that you wanna be like me?” I laugh and she shrugs, still laying on me. She’s clearly squashing me so much I can barely breath, but she’s so cute. “Wait, you already did shopping today. What are you gonna buy?”

“I don’t know, maybe nothing, I just wanna hang out with my baby sis, she answers with a cheesy voice that makes me snicker.”

“I’m not a baby! Stop calling me like that!” Both of us laugh and she sits up straight again the headboard.

~

“Ready to shop babe?”

“Of course I am, I dreamed of it last night.” I laugh while hurtle down the stairs to rejoin her. She smiles at me when I’m finally downstairs and observes my outfit. “No, you’re not gonna tell me how to dress because you’re supposed to be by my side, let’s go before someone stop me to tell me “Eh Thara, go to your room and take off all this pogue’s clothes”.”

“What, these aren’t pogue’s clothes.”

“Yes it is. For them. But it’s my clothes if we think ‘bout it. They bought ‘em for me, so why couldn’t I wear ‘em if I want.”

“Yeah, OK, let’s go.” She says, looking around us to make sure anyone’s here.

I open the door and we get a move on before the parents stop us, then we jump into the black car and ask the chauffeur to drive us to the mall. Eventually, I’m not that locked, even if they don’t wanna let me out without someone with me… I guess it’s OK, I can get out.

“Eh! You didn’t even tell me his name! So, what’s his name?”

“James.

“Ooh, James! Is it a kook? Yeah, of course it is. Is he good enough for you?”

“You know when you feel like it’s the good person, I really feel that when I’m with him, and he’s absolutely hand-”

“Handsomely, awesomely, truly magnificently amazing. I know. Oh, and I forgot, his perfume is life.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the best description for him.”

We laugh and continue to talk during all the ride, and we finish by arrived at the enormous mall. I think my parents never let me go there. I usually shop in the little boutiques of Figure Eight, not in this big mall where everything’s perfect and completely disproportionate. I like it, and I don’t like it either. I don’t know, it doesn’t reflect how I like to shop, but it’s maybe gonna be amazing, and moreover I’m with the best sis ever.

“Where do you wanna go first?”

“I don’t know, is there boutiques that could fit with my clothes in here?”

“Yeah sure, follow me. But before we go to Starbucks. I need my Caramel Machiatto.”

“And I need my Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino. Step one, gain weight to become whales. Everything’s good.”

#outerbanks #outer #banks #kook #pogue

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 1:

"No, we already talked about it young girl, and it’s clearly out of the question. We’re not paying all this watchmen for nothing, and your mother and I are doing our best to keep you away from these troublemakers”

“Dad, come on, I’m not gonna stay all along the summer indoors while you’re all gonna leave and do your things outside.”

“The garden is wide enough to let you get some fresh air.”

"Am I supposed to thank you to let me get out in the garden? Dad, the garden, really…” I say with a little voice.

"If you’re not OK with the decisions that we are making for your safety go to your room and think about it. It’s for you” my mom come into the kitchen while I’m toasting some bread before putting avocado on it.

"Great…” I sigh and finish cooking my breakfast before going upstairs, where my insipid room wait for me to come back. I’m tired of all this, it’s always the same thing. We talk, I’m not OK and they just send me to my room so we don’t argue about anything. When it’s either Alyssa or Isaac, everything’s good, even when they’re not in agreement with each other.

And I’m stuck here until the end of summer, in other words, for almost three months of boredom… why am I in such a formal family, they never let me do anything here, and the worst is when I start talking about the pogues… they hate them and they called us troublemakers, or even scapegrace, the thing is, I don’t even know why because they absolutely don’t let me get out of this house. They’re rich as fuck and they no longer know what to do with their hundreds of thousands bucks.

I sit just under my big window, in front of the beach, on my comfy seat. All this island is crazy, the landscapes are amazing and I’m in love with sunrises and sunsets, I can’t prevent myself to do it everyday, every mornings, every evenings. It’s kind of the only thing that I can enjoy from my too white room so I’m not gonna miss it.

It’s actually 7:30am and the sun’s rises. The sky takes an orangy pinky shade, and the blue eventually steal the limelight from the warmth of the old shades as we go along. I love that atmosphere, it absorbs me to another place, where I can live freely and not worrying about my parents remarks… but it’s only in my head, and I love them anyway. Even if they’re all gonna leave the house to occupy themselves, and I’ll stay there, like the previous two weeks that I spent here, alone and bored.

"Thara”, my mom knock at my door and open it before I respond.

I don’t event look at her and let my regard sweep the horizon. She stays at my door for some minutes, and I can’t continue to do like she’s not here, so I leave my thinking and give her a faint smile when I catch her eyes.

"Do you need something?”

"I just wanted to get everything clear about the decision that we took with your father.”

"Mom, that’s OK, I understand and, dad’s right, the garden is great, I guess…”

"I see that you’re not enjoying this choice, and I’m aware that you may feel abandoned but, it’s for your own good. We wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t impor-”

"It’s OK, I promise. It’s just that I’m starting to get bored… I have nobody to talk with me, and nothing to do, even in the garden.”

"Look, if you want we can go shopping tomorrow”, she proposes while a smile’s drawing out on my face.

"Hum, yeah, sure. Isn’t it gonna change your whole organization? It’s OK if-”

"Thara, darling, don’t worry, I can managed to take a day off. For now I need to go, but we talk about it during diner. You should have a walk on the beach and enjoy the sun, today’s weather is really appreciable. Have a drink if you want while studying or reading a book, on the afternoon. The champagne is in the fridge, the library remain open. Have a good day sweetheart.”

"Thanks mommy, have a good day too. And thank you, for tomorrow”, I keep smiling and she waves to me.

She leaves and I’m already imagining tomorrow’s day. Mom rarely suggest to have a trip together or just be both of us for a day, and every time she’s doing it, that’s warms my little heart. We’ve never been that close, because my sister is all she wanted to have. I guess she wanted me to be the exact same as her, unfortunately I’m not. I’m asking questions, I’m talking loudly and I love simple things.

Alyssa likes chic evening with important people, business meetings and hates wasting her time. In other words, sunsets and sunrises are not her things, and, moreover, we’re completely different.

Anyway, I’m taking a quick shower before putting on a basic outfit. My dad hates when I’m wearing these moms jeans and these tank tops, but I love it, I feel good and it’s reflecting my personality. Also, he hates even more my white (not so white) converse, he always says that the way I dress is irrelevant to the place that I hold. To be honest, even if I always respect his opinion, I kind of don’t give a damn about it, it’s my only way to show that I’m not really like all of these kooks… even if I always will.

"Thara, did you take my white shirt?” Alyssa almost plead for it from her room as her voice cracks a little.

"Gonna look in my closet and tell you then, but I don’t think. Why can’t you wear another one, it’s only a shirt.”

"Thara just search please, you can’t understand.”

I heave a sigh before walking into my wardrobe and go through it for a pretty long time before giving up. It’s not here obviously, and it’s not by looking for it during hours that can make it appears…

"Don’t have it, did you look into mom’s closet, maybe she’s got one that you can wear.”

"No, mom will kill me if I borrow something from her.”

"Are you kidding? No way, if I go through her closet she’ll kill me, not you. Both of you’re the same, it’s OK and, if she says something, I will say that it was my idea. Now go take a shirt, come on.”

"Sure?”

"Yes, come on, you’re gonna be late girl!” I let out a soft giggle and she runs in the stairs to join the second floor.

She seems… happier than usual. Yesterday she was almost yelling at me only because I didn’t give her back one of her basic eyeshadow palette, and now she seems excited. I don’t know what’s behind this get-up, but it might be a boy.

She never talk about boys with anyone, but she did once with me. We were having a random conversation, and her phone kept on rigging, and every time she had to respond she was smiling and her cheekbones were becoming pink, so I decided to ask. I have no name of this unknown guy, but from what I hear, he’s a good person, he’s been graduated same year as her and he now works for the family business.

"How do I look?”

I turn towards her and smile when I see her, perfect, as always. Her white shirt is buttoned up from top to bottom, and her raspberry-colored pant suit fits amazing on her.

"You look awesome, no joke. But...” I slightly wince as I walk headed for her. “Can I?”

"Hum, I’m not sure but, go ahead, I’m late.”

"OK” I whispered, focusing on my task. I unbutton the first buttons of the clean white shirt so her outfit can become less formal, just a little more casual. “Great, and, I think you can also roll up your sleeves to seem a little more comfy, if you want" I suggest while she wince at her turn. “Do it only if you want, and if you don’t go now, it’s almost 9am so run.”

"Yeah, I should go, how do we do to talk to a boy?”

"What, you,” I raise my eyebrows. “You don’t know how to flirt? Aly, it’s so easy, just talk to him, on topic that both of you like. Maybe talk about his family, what does he wanted to do later, and where does he wanted to travel. Just talk, and everything’s will be good, I swear.”

"OK, hum, wish me luck.”

"You go girl, and I swear I’m stannin’ you, you look awesome!”

She laughs before opening the door to rejoin the car and leave the house. My dad’s certainly gone, with my dear brother, who, I do think, hates me. I don’t know why, but the relation between him and I has always been difficult. When I was around seven, or maybe ten, we were kind of close, but when the parents started to point everything out to me, he left me alone. Since, he’s always picking on me for nothing, every day, and every time I’m not doing something right.

"Here I am, alone and bored, in a fucking big house which isn’t even useful, because there’s just me…” I whispered, almost sick of it.

"Did you ask for something, miss?” Lucy startles me while I’m turning towards her, a hand on my heart. I give her a faint smile and sigh. She scared the crap out of me…

"I didn’t want to scare you, I’m sorry mi-”

"You can call my Thara Lucy, you should know about it by now.”

"But it’s the order from your father, and you know him better than me.”

"Yeah, but he’s not here now, take it easy, enjoy and don’t be shy to relax, there’s no problem. I’m in my room if you need something.”

"But Thara, it’s to me to say that to you, don’t worry, I have a lot to do.” She smile and I do the same before joining my room to sit in front of my desk and inspire. To work is almost my only thing to do, so let’s study, during summer holidays… I open my book and start to focus on my lesson.

After ten minutes trying to focus on this philosophical text from Ralph Waldo Emerson, I’m out of it, my brain is already full of information, and read it again and again won’t help me to get into it. I stand up, kinda fed up, and leave my room to rejoin the garden by passing by the big patio doors.

This house is huge, and incredible, and really beautiful, but we don’t need this. I mean, I don’t need this. My parents do, because “they have a place to hold” and that “they need to show their power”. Their power, ridiculous, isn’t it…

I arrive in front of the pool. Another example, we have a pool, and who’s using it? Almost nobody. I love to go in it, but alone it becomes deadly boring quickly. I let out a deep sigh while looking at the beach that we can see from the pool through all the trees and branches.

It’s a good place to live, and not only Figure Eight. I’m even sure that the cut is better than here, chiller and with cooler person. Everyone here is kind of uptight, they only talk about who’s making more money and which one of all them is the more absurd. They’re hypocrites, and are faking their happiness, because I can swear, no single one of them is truly happy, I mean, I have the time to observe around me so…

"Are you OK, miss?” Lucy comes by my side and put her hand on my shoulder to check if I’m alright. It’s her job.

"Yes, of course, I’m good.”

"Good, because it’s almost been twenty that you’re standing here.”

Oh shit. Twenty minutes, she certainly thinks I’m crazy. But she knows how I am after all, dreamy and myself.

"It’s OK, do you need help, to do something?”

"No, I can’t let you help me, this is not to you to clean the house. Enjoy the sun, you might go to the beach, it’s really good today.” I nod while smiling politely, and come back indoors to get to my room and prepare.

Beach is the only place where I could spend hours without even notice. I put on a bikini top and some shorts before getting a towel in the bathroom.

I stuff everything in my backpack, put my hair in a bun and just leave the house, my headphones driven in my ears. The music is so loud that I’m impossible to hear anything around me.

My father could have a heart-attack just he knows that I was adopting this “careless behavior”. For him, I should be wearing a dress just to go to the beach, without my headphones, with a purse, makeup on and a perfect hairstyle. But anyway, he’s not here.

Even if he isn’t here, I’m listening to his orders… I have the ban to go anywhere else but at an exact part of the beach, without anyone but kooks who aren’t hanging out with the pogues. I also can go in front of the house, on the part of the beach that we can see from the pool. That’s it. I’m just stuck in my own house, it sucks.

It really sucks, but I can more or less understand their decision. When I say that they can see the pogues, I mean that they almost can’t stand them at all, even if they do with it when they have to.

They never told me what happened, and the question is real like, how someone can hate on someone else this way? That’s not human.

I finally arrive to the beach, blow all this thoughts away and just enjoy the warm of the sun, the sound of the waves and the feeling of the sand on my feet when I take off my shoes. These three things are the best things in this world. And I can add to this non-exhaustive list the sensation that you can feel when you dive in the lukewarm water of the sea, and then you come back and lay on your towel to dry, and you can feel the sun burning your skin and it feels so damn great.

Beach is paradise on Earth. Like Outer Banks I guess… even if it would be better to stop this kind of ridiculous war between pogues and kooks. I decide to go through the water and just enjoy everything around me before my dad calls me to make sure I’m not breaking his rules…

~

I was about to come home, but I heard some sounds which looked like someone was beating someone else, so I’m just walking towards these noises. I hope it’s just some dumb kooks who are fighting for nothing, because I don’t really want to find myself face to face with two muscly boys who are fighting, or something.

The sound of someone who’s toppling over pretty loudly resonate, so I accelerate while putting my phone into my bag with my headphones. What is happening out there… I eventually arrive and, surprise, I find myself face to face with some kooks, and… a pogue? What is he doing here, he certainly is aware that it’s kook’s space…

I quickly drop my bag before starting to run toward the two kooks and the pogue who’s on the floor, alone and taking a beating.

"Eh! What the hell are you doing, let him go! Get out of here!” I arrive in front of them and don’t hesitate to put a stop to this ridiculous fight.

They are beating someone for no reason, what the hell is this island!

"Thara Abrams, how you doing? I see that you’re not against the pogues anymore, yelled Nate at me while dashing off with her little brother and a friend.

"What, shut up, just get out…” I don’t like him. I never did, and I never will. He’s just like all this kooks. Even more than that, he’s the perfect cliché of a good kook. I mean, if a good kook does exist.

I offer a helping hand to the black-skin boy but he eyes me up before getting up on his legs by himself. What the…

"Are you OK, I’m sorry for them, they shouldn’t do this, they’re just… kooks.”

“So you are” he responds roughly as I frown.

"Yeah, but, I’m not like them, I never would do this kind of-” I’m interrupted by the steps of someone coming by us. He’s blond, pretty tall and muscly. He’s looking at me like I was a monster and gets back the bag of his friend.

"Dude why the hell are you talkin’ to her, c’mon.” He wraps his arm around his shoulder and they start to leave without saying a word.

“What, you’re leaving like that, what’s the matter?”

"Just go back to you’re excited kook’s life” the blond lets a word and I shrug.

"Oh, you’re welcome for trying to prevent you from taking a beating” I say, annoyed. "Can you mind your own damn business” he turns toward me a second and looks dagger at me.

#outer banks #fic #netflix #kiera #johnb #jj #lies #gold #obx #obx netflix #kook #pogue #pogue life #kook life #rich #poor #secret #murder