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losttinwritings · 13 days
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jealous, are we?
[Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Fem!Reader] [876 words]
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SUMMARY: In which jealousy is the cause to expose yours and Rafe's secret relationship.
WARNINGS: Nope, except jealous Rafe.
A-N: This is not the other rafe fic im working on, as it's not done yet. I'm just focussing on editing my old mcyt fics at the moment. Also, again, this is #25 from my prompt list!
[masterlist]
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It wasn't really your intention to keep yours and Rafe's relationship a secret from both your friends and his own. Especially considering you were a pogue, and he was a kook.
You knew you should have at least told them that you had been dating the kook boy for the past two months. So you could avoid this whole situation from happening. Yet, you both kind of just never found the right time to do so and just forgot to mention it to them. 
So now, Rafe sat there with his friends in the Wreck . His gaze locked directly to the furthest table away from him and onto your figure, focussing closely on where your figure sat. Attempting to ignore the guy sitting across from you, as his fists clenched together angrily down by his side. 
He watched as a small smile adorned careful features as you politely nodded your head along towards the conversation the other guy was having with you. You were simply unaware of the true intentions behind the guy talking to you. You had only even gone over there because your own friends had practically begged you to. 
He just knew the other guy was working on the courage to finally ask for your phone number soon. Especially remembering how he overheard your friend, Kie, mentioning how she'd noticed that the guy would constantly steal brief glances in your direction since he had entered the shop. 
Rafe wished he had stopped you from moving over there, as now he was paying the price for that. He blamed your best friend for making you leave her side. But maybe he should have expected this kind of thing to happen at some point. His friends (and yours) weren't even aware of him dating Y/n at that point in time. 
The kook forced himself to not audibly let out a huff in frustration, at the sight of you still over there. A mix of jealousy and anger pooling in the pit of his stomach, as he fought to not let it show how much this situation was bothering him. He did trust you. He knows he does. But the constant worrisome thoughts continued to linger in his mind.
What if you left him for someone better? 
What if you didn't love him anymore? 
What if…What if…
All these thoughts only began to annoy him further, and he knew a scowl must have settled onto his features as of now. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take you sitting over there all friendly and laughing with him.
Abruptly, he stood up from where he sat, catching the attention of both Topper and Kelce nearby. His fists were still clenched tightly at his sides, as his friends looked on in confusion at him.
"Are you okay, Rafe?" Topper asked, but his question remained unanswered as both he and Kelce watched the boy in question storm off.
Both spotted his retreating form till they followed his gaze, and they landed on where you sat now, and that's when it clicked for them. That he was jealous. Why? They weren't sure. 
Meanwhile, Rafe landed beside his pogue girlfriend, who had now noticed him walk up to the table. Your eyes widened a little, as you were suddenly pulled from where you had previously been sitting.
You watched his eyes, in confusion for a moment before he was pulling you from your seat, and you felt his lips fall onto your own. Which you didn't even hesitate to reciprocate in the slightest. 
The boy, most likely a touron, as Rafe didn't recognise him, who sat across from you, in surprise managed to stutter out a few apologies and scurried off out of sight.
You and Rafe now pulled away once he had left you two, embarrassed. You felt your smile widen a little now. Each kiss you both shared still always managed to leave you breathless and in pure bliss every time. 
"Jealous, are we?" Your smile quickly changes into a small smirk, once you remembered how he had stormed over here moments before. Your hands entangling together around his neck and your eyes connecting with his own. 
"No." Rafe lied, but it was obvious from his features to you that he was. His head is now finding its way to bury into the crook of your neck. His jealousy was slowly fading from where it had formed now. A smile on his face finally managed to replace the anger that had previously overcome him.
"But hey, kook or not, at least everyone knows now that you're mine." He nodded, both of you glancing back in the direction of Topper, and Kelce still sat at the table behind you, shocked.
Then, peeking over at Kiara, who also looked in an equal state of shock, from where she was behind the counter, not expecting for you to be dating the kook prince.
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losttinwritings · 18 days
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midnight confessions
[ Shawn Mendes x GN!Reader ] [1201 words]
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SUMMARY: A night of stargazing between two friends soon turns into sudden confessed feelings.
WARNINGS: none I don't think
A-N: second edited one. Will edit the other ones when I can
[masterlist]
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You carefully looked towards the boy next to you, eyes subtly taking in the gentle features of his face. His brunet hair sat messily on his head, which you'd always wanted to run your fingers through to see how soft it was. 
Your eyes took in the small stubble which he had, barely visible in the moon's lighting, but you knew it was there. All the small details which you liked to take in about him, that you hadn't before noticed. It was like he got more attractive to you every time you saw him. 
You knew you liked him. A lot, in fact. You had come to terms with those feelings you harboured a few weeks ago, and it was quite obvious you liked him too. At least that's what both your friends always told you. You were honestly surprised that Shawn himself hadn't figured out you liked him already. Maybe he really was oblivious.
You hadn't a clue when it had switched from platonic to romantic feelings. But it had. You didn't know when you started wanting to know what it'd be like to have his lips placed on yours. Was he a good kisser? You felt the butterflies in your stomach every time you had those similar thoughts.
Forcing yourself to return your gaze back to the darkened sky so as to not get caught staring. The many stars shone down as you looked up. A small sigh fell past your lips as you observed the few constellations you had managed to spot. 
Unaware, to the many small yet longing glances which Shawn had now decided to direct towards you, in hopes that you didn’t notice him. He knew he liked you. He liked the way your front strands of hair would fall into the front of your face when it was windy. He always has to mentally stop himself from reaching forward and tucking it back behind your ear. 
He liked the way your eyes would look as if they sparkled in the sunlight, the way you could go on and on about all of your favourite topics. He loved how he could never get bored of you or your voice. But most importantly, he loved just sitting in silence with you and basking in each other’s presence. Which was exactly what you two were doing today or tonight really.
The stars gently twinkled and shined down on the pair of you, sharing subtle yet longing glances into the direction of each other. The roof underneath you was rough as you sat there, and you’d have to be careful if you did not want to go sliding down at all. An unexpected drop from where you both were could most likely cause you to break something. 
You adjusted your positioning, tucking your knees up into your chest and resting your arms over the top of them. You allowed a sigh to slip through, watching as the stars continued to form different constellations. You’d always had a thing for stars and astronomy. It has always been a hobby of yours, and resting upon your roof in the night was always a kind of safe space for you. Away from all of your problems you would face each day.
“Do you ever wonder what it's like to be a star?” You asked, turning your head slightly to the side where Shawn was sitting. You didn’t know what brought on this question at all. You suppose it was probably just something you had thought up in the current moment. You weren’t even sure if you wanted an answer from the boy with you.
“I don’t think I ever have. Why do you ask?” He asked, snapping out from his own thought-filled silence now to answer your question. His head tilted to the side in the slightest confusion briefly, and one of his hands quickly ran through his brown hair. 
You bit your lip, unsure how to continue on with this conversation. A part of you screamed at you to blurt out your growing feelings towards your best friend. Though, you didn't allow that part to win at all. You knew it would only end in rejection, followed by a heap of heartbreak towards you. Despite it killing you not to tell him, you didn’t want to experience that rejection. “Not sure, I’m just bored of this silence right now”
He chuckled, and fuck you loved his laugh. It felt like millions of tiny butterflies were fluttering around your stomach right then. You hated how it always made you so giddy inside whenever you heard it. Plus, it wasn’t really helping your current situation. 
“Do you like anyone right now?” Shawn asked with the slightest bit of hesitation in his tone. He wasn’t entirely sure what pushed him to suddenly ask this. Maybe he was hoping you would blurt out his name. Or it could have been that the question had bugged him for weeks, like it was burned into his brain, and that he desperately wanted an answer. 
“Um..I-” You stumbled, taken aback at first by his words. You weren’t expecting that question, and you had no idea if you should answer him with the truth or not. Should you lie and say a random name? or should you finally get it over with and confess and handle the oncoming that would soon play through? Fuck it you decided, after having a small mental battle with your thoughts. It was now or never.
“You?” You allowed it to slip out, sounding more like a question when you heard it fall out from your mouth. Here you go, you took a deep breath and allowed yourself to brace yourself for the oncoming heartbreak headed your way. The next words would hurt a lot for the following few days, but i suppose with time, you could eventually move on. 
“Oh thank god. I like you too” A breath of relief fell from your lips now at those words, which managed to surprise you at first. You let a shy smile come into play on your features and watched as a similar one showed up on Shawn’s face, too. A gentle hue dusting your cheeks the tiniest bit. 
Shawn slowly moved his hand closer towards you, watching you carefully in case you were to reject his next movements. But when he saw no sign that you were going to. He continued to inch his hand closer till they fell onto your own. You smiled a little larger and allowed your fingers to interlock with his own, a silent confirmation between you two, that you were his.
And as you turned your heads back up onto the sky above you guys, large smiles spread across your faces at the current events that had just taken place. You felt a whole weight lift from your shoulders, the sudden fear of rejection and heartbreak fading completely in that moment from both your minds. 
Maybe you were both idiots, oblivious to the other’s feelings before. But at least now you were both idiots in love. 
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losttinwritings · 18 days
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comfort
[ Shawn Mendes x GN!Reader ] [928 words]
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SUMMARY: After a rough day, Shawn manages to comfort you and make you feel better.
WARNINGS: hint of angst, but mostly fluff
A-N: Already edited two of my old mcyt fics I deleted. This one, then a sapnap one. Also, again, this is based on a personal experience of mine.
[masterlist]
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The curtains remained closed over the large window, stopping the sunlight from seeping into the room. You had closed them to make it appear as dark as possible inside with your only light source coming from a small candle on the night-stand. You were currently lying bundled up underneath the doona covers of your bed. 
H/c locks of hair spread out atop the pillow that your head currently rests on, and your phone neatly settled in your hand, switched on as you stared at it sadly. You felt like shit if you were being completely honest, with tear-filled eyes and slight red tinted cheeks. 
The constant feeling of jealousy rested in the pit of your stomach as you scrolled through instagram, photos of your old best-friend filling up the brightened phone screen as she stood with her new friends and boyfriend, each with a large smile on their faces.
Why did life have to be so difficult? How could it be so cruel? Making you regret every shitty decision you'd made in the past. It was simply a routine for you now, where at least every few or so weeks you'd find yourself crying your heart out at the constant reminder of your friend. At the horrible reminder that you hardly talked anymore to each other.
A sob escaped your mouth, not bothering to cover it with your hand. Your boyfriend was out, he wasn't home at the moment. 
You didn't want to burden him with your problems, especially if he was too focussed on his music without having to worry about you. Instead, you kept it to yourself and allowed the sad emotions to wash over when you were in private, when you were home alone.
It could have been at least one or two hours later with you just lying there in the same position, bawling. You couldn't really tell how long it'd been, though. 
That you had eventually not heard the quiet footsteps of Shawn heading towards the bedroom, nor could you hear the sound of the door opening as he walked inside. His eyes briefly glanced around the medium-sized room until they finally landed on your figure, where your soft sobs and small sniffles could be heard. 
"Y/n? Are you ok?" Shawn asked, the feeling of worry already managing to appear onto his features as he shut the door behind him. He felt like his heart cracked a little at hearing you cry, as he hated when he saw you do it. All he wanted was to be able to make you a little happier. 
"Y-yes?" Your voice felt a tad too hoarse, and it stuttered a bit from how much you'd been crying today. 
You didn't trust yourself to say anything else, as to not let anymore of the sadness you felt become even more evident to him. So biting your lip to suppress more sobs, then shaking your head briefly, you turned onto your side, facing away from Shawn and setting your phone down upon the bedside table. 
You were tired of looking at the exact same images that swarmed your instagram feed. It only ever made you sadder every time. 
Shawn, noticing you didn't want to talk much, carefully ran a hand through this short brown hair and carefully moved himself closer to the bed where you resided. He gently kicked off the shoes he had on and situated himself nearest to where you lay on your side. 
He wanted to pull you into a hug. He wanted to distract you from whatever was making you feel like this. He just wanted you to be happy and your usual self. The man felt himself slip underneath the covers now, turned to face your back, wrapped his strong arms around you, and tugged you gently back into his chest. 
You were surprised at first by this sudden action but eventually managed to relax into his warm and comforting embrace. Turning around in his arms, you buried your head into Shawn's chest. Your eyes felt puffy and red from crying as you let a few more tears slip down onto your cheeks and slightly dampened the cotton of your boyfriend's shirt. 
"A-are you ok?" Shawn hesitated at first before asking again. His hand came to run through the soft and gentle tresses of your hair, with a worried feeling still swimming in those eyes you always managed to get lost in somehow. He wanted you to be ok, but he knew right now you were far from it.
You shook your head, burying your head further into Shawn's hard chest, as his arms wrapped a little tighter around you as if to tell you everything was going to be ok. You could feel his gaze locked onto your smaller figure, as you still struggled to stop the tears from falling down your face at every thought of your old friend. 
How you weren't entirely sure if everything would be fine. You did know, however, that as long as Shawn was in your life, and he was willingly ready to comfort you, then you would be perfectly okay. At least you hoped you would.
And with those last lingering thoughts, you felt yourself distracted once again, as you managed to comfortably fall into a peaceful slumber, surrounded by the warmth of your boyfriend's familiar embrace.
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losttinwritings · 19 days
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All mcyt fics will be deleted from my blog either tomorrow, or in a few days sometime! I've basically left the mcyt community (since Dec 2022) and with all this shit happening now, I have finally decided to no longer write for mcyt. As I also no longer keep up with many of them anymore.
UPDATE: I've deleted most of them. But I'm going to edit the ones I can in my google docs and change them into a different character/celebrity instead! Because I still love those plots.
I will also be deleting Because I Had You soon, I just thought I'd keep that up a little longer till I can work out who to change it to
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losttinwritings · 26 days
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sneakpeek to a rafe fic im working on 👀
A-N: hopefully will be quite a long(ish) oneshot. As I like the idea I have for it :))))
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losttinwritings · 1 month
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stupid
[ Hazel Callahan x Fem!Reader ] [812 words]
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SUMMARY: Why didn't you say anything sooner? because right now you felt so stupid, witnessing Hazel with someone else.
WARNINGS: angst, one-sided pining by reader, jealousy. Also, there's no use of Y/N.
A-N: probably shorter than I would've liked it to be :/ But I wrote as much I could manage to lol, and at least it's something
[masterlist]
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You should have expected it sooner. You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. It just so happened that it was today, and now you hate yourself for waiting so long. You hate yourself for not speaking up about your feelings sooner.
Because, as you watch from the far side of the school hallways, eyes practically glued to the spot where Hazel stood with her new girlfriend. Where they both stood.
Hands interlocked, as the two speak in such hushed tones, giggling and chatting with each other. Wishing it were you in her position over there, wishing it were you with Hazel, sharing passion-filled kisses, and smiling as widely as you could.
But it's not, and you hate it. You can feel the tears coming, and you have to duck your head into your open locker door so nobody sees them fall. So nobody sees the tears that are threatening to spill, blurring your vision. A strangled sob managing to slip from your lips, right as you smack your hand over your mouth to muffle it the best you could.
I'm so fucking stupid
You think to yourself, as the tears don't stop. Glassy eyes shielded by the cool metal of your locker door, shielding your face from the view of the rushing students around you. You needed to get the fuck out of there. You thought you'd be able to handle it, you really thought you could. You didn't think seeing them together so soon would affect you this much.
I'm so fucking stupid.
The thought comes back, those same four words that won't stop running rampant inside of your brain. The harsh words that you just wanted to leave. If it weren't for you falling for Hazel Callahan, the cute masc who sat in front of you, in your English class (and one of your best friends), then you'd be fine. You wouldn't be like this, heart broken over the girl.
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You took a deep breath in and then out. Inhaling and exhaling as you braced yourself for what you were about to do. Your eyes locked onto the figure sitting on the school bleachers near the edge of the football field. Watching as she was carefully pulling her lunch from her backpack, as you tugged the straps of your backpack further up your shoulder.
You were finally going to do it. You were going to confess your feelings and ask your best friend out. Or at least, you were going to try and do that. But you prayed silently that you wouldn't chicken out once again from this.
Finally, you carefully began moving. Nerves running through your system as you carefully walked on over to where Hazel currently sat. Her eyes did not notice your approaching figure until you were now sitting beside her and dropping your backpack down on the seat in front of you.
She greeted you with a smile as she turned towards you now. You always loved the way she said your name, and you could have sworn, with the way your breath hitched slightly in your throat, when you looked into her eyes. That you fell for her all over again, even deeper than before, and it irked you how down bad you were right now.
“Hey, so I was wondering— Are you doing anything this Sunday?” You spoke carefully, bracing yourself for whatever Hazel would respond with. You begged and hoped with everything in you that it wouldn't be rejection. That she wouldn't reject you when you continued.
You watched her, eyes scanning her face, as you waited patiently.
“No? At least I don't think so, why?”
You bit your lip gently and prepared yourself once more. Racking your brain for the correct words you wanted to say and going about asking her. But you were stopped and taken aback for a moment, snapping right out from the depths of your own mind right now, when Hazel spoke again.
“Oh—wait, yeah, I am, sorry. I’m going on a date then.” She finished quickly, apologising, as if that would make things any better calming your rapid-going thoughts.
“Okay, then that's—fine, I hope you have fun.” It wasn't fine. Of course it wasn't. Though, you weren't going to say that, though. You weren't going to ruin her possible excitement or happiness for it. Besides, it's not like it would possibly turn into anything more, right?
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You were so fucking stupid. So, so, so stupid to think that she maybe there was a chance. A chance that Hazel Callahan might like you back, because here you are, heart breaking even further, the more you watch her and her girlfriend together.
And you obviously couldn't hate whoever she was dating, why would you? She made her happy, and that's all you wanted for Hazel. Even if it couldn't be with you, like you so desperately want it to.
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losttinwritings · 3 months
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🥀=angst|🌼=fluff|🎉=holiday themed|✨=headcannon|💫=requested|💖=personal favourite
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Hazel Callahan
can i be yours? 💖🌼
stupid 🥀
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losttinwritings · 3 months
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can i be yours?
[Hazel Callahan x Fem!Reader] [1083 words]
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SUMMARY: Who knew all it'd take was getting drunk for you to confess your feelings for her.
WARNINGS: idk, tbh? None?
A-N: I've had the sudden urge to write something for Hazel Callahan, and so here you go.
[masterlist]
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“Can I be yours?” You asked, words slurring as you slid onto the couch beside Hazel Callahan. You were too drunk off of the alcohol being served, that you weren’t fully processing anything you were saying right now. 
“I don’t know, but I think you’ve had too much to drink.” 
Hazel turned to you, and she could feel her heart beating quicker than usual because of the closeness between the two of you. 
Reaching over and grabbing the red solo cup from your hands. The liquid that was still in there, sloshing about, as she pulled it out of your reach
As much as she wanted those words you’d spoken before to be true, she knew that by morning, you’d be too hungover to even remember them. 
“Nuh, uh.” You shook your head, leaning forwards to grab at your unfinished drink now. Allowing Hazel to get a strong whiff of the perfume you wore. Fruity? Whatever it was, it was one of her favourite scents. “I’ve only had like…” 
Hazel pulled the cup further away from you as you tried to remember how much you’ve drunk.
She knew that if you drank anymore you’d be regretting it when you woke up tomorrow. So, she tried to soften the effects of tomorrow’s hangover by stopping you. 
You groaned and leaned back against the couch. Your eyes, drooping, closed the slightest bit as you fought the tiredness that was now taking over you. The same tiredness, which was coming as a result of all the alcohol you’d drank that night. 
You could feel an awkward silence overcoming you both for the next few moments. 
Although, it was over as soon as it had begun, when you finally spoke up again. The silence, that is. 
“You know, it’s funny how much I like you caring for me. Like, I love you, but I know you’d never see me as more than a friend.” 
Hazel froze. Her hand, which was holding the red cup, soon dropped it. Her mind is trying to wrap itself around the thought of you liking her. No, liking her back. Something she always thought could never be real. 
There’s no way. No way. This is a dream. She felt the bitter words, entering her thoughts now. Were you serious? Were you just saying this because you were drunk? She didn’t know, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out and risk it all being her imagining things. 
But then again, what was that saying again…? Something about drunken words being sober thoughts. Maybe you were being serious, and you really did mean all those words.
“I-I think, I should take you home…now.” She hesitated, after finding herself coming back to reality from her once-rapid-going thoughts. 
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Waking up, groaning, you felt your eyes adjusting to the lights above you. Your left hand reaches up to your forehead in an attempt to rub away at the pounding headache that wouldn’t stop. 
You groan some more and sit up against the decorative pillows that still adorn your bed. Feet kicking against the covers to remove them from your body. 
How much did you drink? You weren’t sure, but you could feel the regret seeping into your features at how like shit you felt right now. 
Unaware, to the door to your bedroom suddenly opening from the outside. And a figure stepped into the room, with a tray that held iced water, a small plate of fruit and a box of ibuprofen, atop it. “Are you okay? Sorry, stupid question, you look like shit.” 
You spun your gaze to face who had just spoken, and you felt the familiar butterflies erupt in your stomach as you recognised it to be Hazel. Hazel Callahan, your long-time crush, stood there.
“I feel like shit…did you bring me home?” You asked, squinting slightly as you watched her step closer to where you sat. 
Hazel nodded in response to your question and set down the tray upon your bed. As you shifted your weight, you didn’t knock it off accidentally. 
You could feel your stomach growl carefully, as you realised you hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. Since before you left for that party, you’d both been invited too. 
Which now that you thought about it, you couldn’t really remember much about what happened there. Did you say anything stupid? Act stupid? Or did you…no you shook your head.
Deciding to voice the first question aloud to Hazel, you waited patiently for a response. Curiosity gnawed at you from the inside.  
Hazel, on the other hand, panicked. Shifting her weight, from foot to foot. Attempting to come up with something. She hoped that you didn’t sense her panic at all.
What should she say? Does she bring up how you practically confessed your feelings to her? And as she looked into your curious gaze, staring almost-eagerly back at her. She caved. 
Her words spilled from her lips as she recounted what you’d said to her. Then she watched.
She watched as you sat there, eyes widening at every little bit, and for a moment, she swore she saw a little bit of panic flicker in your features. 
“I know, you didn’t mean it. It’s okay. We can go back to being friends now, or at least try to.” She rambled, diverting her gaze from where you sat atop your covers. 
Her ears completely missed the call of her name, which exited from your lips.
“Can I be yours?” You tried, hoping she’d turn back to you.
Huh? She did, in fact, turn back to you, confused expression on her features. 
“What did you just say?” She asked slowly, in an attempt to see if she had heard right. Did she really hear that? Or was she just imagining things? 
“I said, can I be yours?” You tried once more. Silently praying, Hazel would figure out that you were, in fact, serious. That you were not joking, not even the slightest bit.
Hazel looked up, attempting to find anything in your features that signified that you were kidding. That you were not actually serious and that you were playing with her. But when she couldn’t find anything as such, she sighed in relief.
Her words exited from her lips after she hesitated for a moment. “Yes. Yes, you can be mine…If I can also be yours?”
And you nodded, smiles coming onto both of your faces. A wide smile, knowing that you both returned each other’s feelings. 
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losttinwritings · 7 months
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wait for you
[JJ Maybank x GN!Reader] [619 words]
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SUMMARY: In which he'll wait for however long it takes
WARNINGS: pretty angsty, hurt-comfort
A-N: haven't written for JJ in a bit, but I had an idea sooo...
[masterlist]
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The door slammed closed to the chateau, right as you shuffled inside the doorway. Your hair was in knots atop your head, eyes glistening from the unshed tears you harboured. You were an idiot. An absolute fucking idiot. How could you have been so stupid? Stupid to think that your boyfriend- sorry ex, actually loved you. You should have seen all the signs and red flags, before you walked in on him in a rather compromising position with another girl. You fucking hated him, hated him for wasting your time these last few months. 
Your thoughts were running a mile-a-minute, and as it did, you failed to notice the curious gaze of a certain blonde boy sitting on the couch nearby. His heart was aching as he watched you from his position, wishing he could take away all of the pain that you were in. You sniffled, struggling to keep your tears at bay. Your hand came up to wipe at the few that had now fallen onto your cheeks. 
"Sorry, I didn't think anyone was–" You halted in your footsteps, words dying on your tongue as you turned slightly to finally notice one of your best friends, JJ Maybank sitting on one of the couches nearby. You got ready to turn on your heel and move back outside. Not wanting for anyone to see you cry over the boy who stood you up. "I can…go somewhere else -" 
But before you could move any further, you felt a hand wrap around your upper arm, stopping you in your tracks. You turned back again, body coming in contact with a hard chest, and as you looked up carefully, you noticed that JJ stood there, a worrying look flickering across his face. Right after, he had quickly lifted himself from his previous seated position and over to you. 
You felt fragile, as if you could break in that very moment. You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you felt a whole mix of emotions but mainly sadness and anger. You fought to choke back your sobs, allowing JJ to manoeuvre you over back towards the couch. 
"Are you okay?...sorry stupid question. What happened?" He asked you when you both sat yourselves comfortably. His heart continued to ache inside his chest at your heartbroken figure. He had a few suspicions on who was making you feel like this, mainly that arsehole boyfriend of yours. Who he'd never seemed to like.
You shook your head slowly, forcing your eyes to connect up to look at JJ. Your puffy, tear-filled eyes. You took a deep breath in and answered his question, voice cracking with each word you spoke aloud. "He-he cheated. I walked in on him, fucking some…some kook" 
And with that, you allowed your gut-wrenching sobs to overtake you once more. Burrowing your figure further into JJ's comforting embrace. His strong arms tightly wrapping around you, as if on instinct, holding you to him. JJ felt a wave of anger wash over him, at the piece-of-shit ex, who he wanted to kill. He wanted to kill him for making you hurt like this. You didn't deserve it, and he knew if you were his partner instead, he wouldn't treat you like this. At least, he thinks he wouldn't. 
But you weren't. So he fought back his anger and allowed himself to continue to sit there. Head resting atop yours, listening to each sob that exited your system, muffled by that of his t-shirt now. 
JJ knew he would wait for however long it would take, for you to realise that he wanted something more than to be just friends.  He would wait, till the day you realised he was the one for you. 
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losttinwritings · 10 months
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because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt. 8]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: finally a new chapter, because got the motivation to write again lol
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[series masterlist]
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Quackity opened the door for his date, a false smile falling onto place on his features. At least, he thought it was a fake one. He knew he probably had to move on, and a certain part of him definitely desired to do so. You so clearly had, when he thinks back to the few times that he'd peeked at your instagram (which he should probably stop doing soon). His want to move on now leads him to where he is right now. His date. Quackity had indeed taken up that movie theatre worker (whose name he later learned was Caroline) on her offer. Well, at least after a ton of pestering from his friends to even text the phone number he'd been given.
Caroline thanked him with only a small smile, as she got into the car when she'd been picked up. Quackity nodded, shut the door carefully when she was safely seated. His feet soon carrying himself back around to the drivers' side of the car. As he seated and buckled his own seatbelt, he tried his best to suppress his nervousness. Glancing briefly to Caroline in the passenger seat (whom had already been looking at him), he directed his focus back to the road.
Truth be told, Quackity didn't really know where he was going to take his date, which he probably should have thought of before even going out with someone. He's pretty sure the last time he's been on a date was like a month or so before his and your fight. As he continued to drive, the dark-haired boy allowed his mind to wander more and to attempt to figure out the perfect place to go. He was trying for a second date, after all.
"QUACKITY COME ON!"
He turned his head at the shout of his name, to where you stood. Giggles, bursting from your slightly-chapped lips. You were kicking your feet against the waves of the ocean. Your eyes were wide in delight and excitement, at the way the water splashed out from underneath you. Quackity felt his own lips carefully pull up into a small, delicate smile at the sight of you. His feet move themselves from where he had been stood on the sandy shore. He allowed himself to be carried across and over to where you were located. It wouldn't be fair if he allowed you to have all the fun.
The sun was bright. The waves crashing against the sandy shore as Quackity pulled his car into park in the designated parking lot. He felt himself pull at his seatbelt quickly, urging for it to unbuckle. When it did, he gently tugged it from his body and reached to pull open his door. His gaze carefully moving from the front windshield towards the girl still seated in the passenger seat, Caroline.
Caroline, who had now furrowed her brows gently in confusion. Why was she being taken to the beach? She hadn't even brought her swimsuit. Were the words that she wanted to let slip from her lips. The lips that she had formerly bit in her confusion.
"I-" Quackity started, unsure on what to say. No idea how he was going to explain the sudden urge he had to drive all the way here. How was he supposed to tell Caroline that it was the place he had loved to take you a lot.
'Hey, uh yeah...sorry. I took you here because I had suddenly gotten caught up in memories of my ex-girlfriend, and remembered this was their favourite place. I hope you enjoy the date though.' Now that wouldn't really go down that well, would it? Quackity shook his head and forced himself to respond properly. With an answer that would actually be appropriate for an explanation.
"I don't know, I guess I felt like going for a walk...with you, of course" Quackity hesitated for a moment, hoping it was a decent enough response to the confusion lingering in the air around the two. "There's an icecream place close by though, we can go get some later if you wish"
Caroline, after a taking a second to think it over, nodded carefully, and Quackity had to stop himself from sighing in relief. He didn't really want to have to drive her back home, and cancelling the date before had even properly started. That would be a waste. But as he carefully watched Caroline, admiring her. He noticed how she did indeed still look excited. It was a good sign, this date was turning out great.
As soon as Quackity made it over to where the ocean's waves were hurriedly hitting against the sand. To where, what he considered to be the love of his life, was standing still wide-eyed and largely smiling. Your feet barely being covered by the water that lay below you. And as Quackity came nearer, his bare feet now feeling the coldness that encompassed from the salt water of the beach.
He felt himself, admire your figure. He was unaware to that of your hand which danced carelessly now, through the water beside you. A mischievous chuckle exiting lowly from your lips, he who was choosing to ignore the extra giddiness that overtook you. Choosing to pass it off, as you being excited to be here. With him, and at your favourite place in the entire world.
Your eyes connected with his, as he finally reached you. A similar smile still etched into his features at the sight of you. You could faintly see how he muttered 'so pretty' from the lips, and felt a darker hue to lightly dust your cheeks. Then you finally struck. Your hand went forward through the water, you having to bend down to reach it. It making rapid movements as it soon splashed onto your target.
Just like that, Quackity felt his eyes widen at the sudden coldness which soon splashed at him. Before they narrowed into a playful glare, watching as you smirked at the 'attack' on him, you had played. A few more giggles exiting your system, as you stood there continuing to smirk at his expression.
Then you gasped.
Your triumphant facade fell rather quickly, as the cold ocean splashed back up into you. Seeping lightly into the clothing that you wore. That little- that little-
It was now Quackity's turn to smirk with triumph. His own giggle letting slip out from his mouth, at your almost-flabbergasted expression. As he had taken you completely off-guard completely. Yet, he couldn't be mad or furious even. When it soon turned into a rather abrupt water fight, the both of you loudly laughing joyfully. Chasing hurriedly after each other through the ocean's waves, in fast attempts to completely drench each other with the water. The splashing loudly sounding out across the beach.
Quackity felt the hot sand underneath his bare feet, as he walked beside his date, Caroline. His hand, which wasn't carrying his shoes, carefully brushing passed that of Caroline's own hand. His nerves were to overwhelming to even think of allowing him to grab at it, and entwine their fingers together. It was only the first date after all. He highly doubted that it wouldn't be weird to hold hands, and he didn't think they were quite there yet.
He took in a deep breath, allowing for the scent of the salt in the murky ocean to overcome his sense, before exhaling again. Quackity turned his head slightly, glancing in the general direction of Caroline who was still beside him. He allowed himself, to take a moment to admire her. Her hair which fell down past her shoulders, the way she smiled- almost crookedly, and the eyes which he thought were almost sparkling in the sunlight. She was beautiful, and he couldn't deny that. He was glad to have finally done it. Finally, allowed himself the push he so needed to move on.
And he smiled.
Take her to all the places I took us to
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losttinwritings · 1 year
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.7]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: honestly one of the easiest chapters to write lol. Enjoy :)
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[series masterlist]
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The strong stench of popcorn filled the main lobby, as both Quackity and Karl walked in the entrance to the movie theatre. The darker-haired male, allowed his gaze to drift over the crowded room the pair entered into, after his friend had dragged him along to hang out. His eyes soon fell back upon the brown-haired boy beside him.
"I'm telling you Alex, clearly your ex has moved on!" Karl's voice drawled on, running a brief hand through his short hair. "Maybe you should stop with the 'what ifs' and move on too."
Alex nodded slowly, he was really starting to regret telling his friends about his recent breakup. He wished he'd just kept it to himself, and saved himself from the pitiful looks he now constantly receives whenever he's in close proximity of any of his best friends. He didn't want to or need to be pitied at all, especially not by his own friend group. As now he was certainly paying the price for telling them, with all the constant mentions and nagging of how he 'needs to move on' or to 'stop reliving his previous relationship' he now hears.
The boy carried on zoning out, once again allowing his gaze to suddenly wander over to the busy stand tucked to the right ahead of them. The rowdy chatter of young families, couples both young and old, as well as the odd friend group or two, which could only be distinguished as the line to the concessions stand. Plus all the murmurings being that of whatever snacks they were to order.
Quackity glanced back towards Karl, watching as he fiddled around on his phone for a moment. He adjusted his beanie for a moment, before opening his mouth to speak clearly to his friend.
"Hey uh...I'm going to head for some snacks? You want anything, Karl?"
The boy in question, looked up quickly at the call of his first name and to Alex, whose finger had been carefully pointed back towards the line at the snack bar. He smiled briefly, muttering something about a 'packet of m&ms' before turning around to take a seat at a bench nearby, to wait.
Taking that as his cue to head over now, Quackity turned on his heel and joined the queue for the concessions. Which now that he thought about it, as he stood there, it seemed to be a lot longer than it looked from where he previously stood next to Karl.
He dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he waited for the line to decrease. Eyes patiently looking ahead of himself, dancing across the parts of the menu board that he could see from where he was. He already knew what he wanted, it was just a matter of time before he could reach the front of the line. Which could be a few more minutes, considering he could spot at least two more families stood ahead of him in the line.
A couple more minutes had ticked by, and as Quackity felt a pair of eyes on him, he moved his eyes back from the clock above. From which he must have took his attention to as he waited, and back to where he now found himself staring at the worker behind the counter. He managed to shuffle forward closer to the counter.
"Hi, what can I get for you today sir?" The girl behind the counter plastering a smile across her lips as she spoke. She seemed fairly tired by the light bags that appeared underneath her eyes. Which as Alex was looking now, he could tell were a pretty shade of hazel that complimented her fair skin tone.
She was definitely pretty, the dark-haired boy couldn't deny that as it was quite obvious for anyone really. And he would have to be a complete idiot to miss that her eyes had been checking himself out. Of course, he wasn't going to make a move on her though. He wasn't ready to start going on dates again. At least, that he didn't think he was ready to.
"Just a bag of skittles and a pack of m&ms thanks" He managed out, awkwardly and fully aware that his friend was still waiting a little further behind him. Digging around in his left pocket for his wallet and once he had grabbed it, and he managed to pull it out. Quackity honestly just wanted to grab this food and leave for the movie he didn't feel like missing.
As he finished paying for the bags of candy, he was just thankful that the cinema clerk hadn't attempted to flirt with him at all. Which made him wonder for a moment, if he had just imagined the brief glances she had tried to sneak at him to check him out. But as far as the thoughts had come, he managed to shake his head in an attempt to rid them.
He clutched the two bags of candy and receipt in his left hand, as he made his way back over towards where Karl was now stood near the entrance to the cinema they were in. His friend's eyes lifting to meet Quackity as he sensed him approaching quickly. The boys eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a moment, at the sudden rapid pace of his friend.
"Woah dude, what's got you in such a rush?" Karl questioned, curious to Quackity's sudden haste to enter the movie theatre. As he'd felt his m&m packet shoved firmly right into his unsuspecting arms only a minute before. "Did something happen or..?"
Alex hesitated briefly, did he really want to share with his friend? I mean...last time he did share something all his friends suddenly made it their mission to get Quackity to move on from his ex-girlfriend he'd just broken up with. Fuck it. "I don't know. The cashier was just checking me out or something."
"Or something? How do you not know if you were being checked out by a girl?" Karl was confused at that moment, surely his friend would have known if someone had their eyes on him and were clearly interested in asking him out. "Well did she give you her numb--wait what's that?"
Quackity peeked down to where the brown-haired boy had suddenly pointed, his eyes landing onto the receipt he'd been given. He allowed a wave of confusion to wash over his features for a  few seconds, before his eyes finally caught onto what Karl had suddenly spotted.
Carefully, Quackity adjusted his hands positions on the receipt he'd been given and brought it up to eye level. Allowing, for both him and Karl to inspect the small piece of paper where at the bottom corner in small, messy bit of handwriting lay and read:
hey :) you're really cute and I'm kind of interested in talking to you more. Call or text me if you wish, ##-###-###
"Alex, are you gonna call her? She just gave you her number!" Karl playfully punched his shoulder, as the two proceeded to enter into the movie theatre to find their seats.
Truthfully, Quackity didn't know if he was going to contact her at all. Was he really ready to start attempting to move on yet? Should he just wait for a few more weeks and then text her? Or should he just do it now?
Maybe, it's time for me to meet somebody new
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losttinwritings · 2 years
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.6]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: it's here now, the next chapter that is. Although, im not the biggest fan of how this one turned out. I want to apologise about it taking so damn long. I got writers block and my tablet is still pretty shit right now so writing is annoying to do.
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[series masterlist]
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Your smile. It looked as if it displayed the right amount of happiness you must have been feeling, as Quackity carefully scrolled through your instagram photos. You looked so much happier than you had been in the past few months of your guys relationship. Each photo you had posted, that he looked through. It made him yearn to feel something like what he had once had. He wanted to make you smile again, see that wonderful one you always held for him. And yet, as his finger stopped upon the most recent picture of you, and the same person he'd seen you together with at that cafe a few days previous. He knew that no matter how much he begged the universe, it wouldn't fix what had unfolded between you and him. Fuck, he sounded so pathetic right about now, getting all emotional over some girl. He just knew his friends would probably tease him...and comfort him if they knew about his breakup.
Maybe he should have told them, did he really want to deal with the sadness and heartbreak from this alone? He honestly didn't know right now. It was a few months in, since it had happened. And now he somehow got into the routine of stalking your socials, seeing if you at all showed any clear or hidden sign that maybe you missed him too. But no, it only was making him regret even opening his phone in the first place. He felt like some sort of creep.
He felt his finger slowly drifting towards the direct message button on your instagram. Nervousness ran through his system at that moment, as he eyed it wearily. Debating, on whether or not he should press it and form out a message. Would you even answer? Would you even want to have contact with him? Even after... yeah of course you wouldn't. Yet despite these thoughts he found himself suddenly clicking into your dms on impulse, and began typing out a message.
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Instagram Direct Message:
Are you happy with them?
His finger hovered the send button, he felt it lowering down before...deleted. He couldn't do it. He didn't want to know what your response would be. He was scared. Terrified actually, that you would have responded back and told him that you regretted their relationship. Told him that you were much happier with your new partner, that you were in love with them and didn't even miss him a little bit.
I miss you
once again, his finger pressed the back button and his message was erased. Maybe that was a little too weird to send at this moment in time. You probably didn't even miss him back.
How are you?
He tried once more, forming a slightly less-straightforward message. His finger hovering over the 'send' button. Did he really want to send it? Would you even answer him? You were still grieving the ruined relationship, much like him. Maybe, seeing his sudden text would send you over the edge, and you'd be mad. Or maybe, you'd be delighted and want to try and rekindle what you both once had. Yet, the latter just seemed to be wishful thinking.
Eventually, Quackity took in a deep breath and clicked send before he could change his mind again. His eyes watched the small bubble pop up signalling it had sent. A sudden sense of fear washed over him as he now waited for your response. He felt like a part of him didn't even want to receive an answer from you. Yet, the other part of him desperately wanted to talk to you again and at least get some closure behind the breakup. It was deeply killing him inside, not being able to text you like he once had.
He continued on waiting. His eyes suddenly feeling heavy implying his tiredness. You've got to respond right? He thought to himself, or was this whole thing just a whole waste of time. Quackity sat up from where he lay now in his bed, he felt his hand (which was clutching his phone) move and press the power button. His eyes briefly scanning the instagram messages with you, which was currently empty apart from his own text.
Quackity felt himself frown at his now switched off phone, perhaps it really was a mistake to be texting you a few months after your guys breakup. Of course you wouldn't respond, how could he have been so stupid to think you would have. Just by noticing the lack of an answer, he knew that you simply did not care about him anymore. He could tell you were much happier with them, than you were with him. He should just learn to accept that.
But I can tell that you're happy
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losttinwritings · 2 years
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.5]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: gonna be completely honest, i literally just wrote whatever popped into my head at the time of writing this. So sorry, if some parts don't make much sense or match the lyrics lol. Also I'm back to writing from my tablet again now :) as I now have a keyboard for it so it's easier than my phone lol
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[series masterlist]
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Quackity sat cooped up in a corner booth of a diner he'd found when wandering through random streets with no real place in mind. He felt tired as he sat there, awaiting the hot drink the wait staff had yet to bring out to him. His thoughts were jumbled, a mess if you will. He couldn't focus on something for one moment without drawing it back to you somehow. God, he missed you a lot. He missed when he could rely on you to help him with ideas for his streams or just plain youtube videos for his channel, when he hadn't any clue what to do himself.
Maybe it was some pretty unfortunate timing for him, when he suddenly heard the sound of laughter of two people coming closer and closer. He knew he definitely couldn't mistake for anyone else. It was so familiar to him, that he could easily remember the last time, he'd heard it directed towards him. He knew he probably shouldn't look up from where he had rested his eyes upon the table before him. It was surely a completely bad idea, it would most likely hurt him more. But yet, it was like some part of him told him to and without warning his eyes lifted up and to the sudden familiar sound.
Fuck, he wished he didn't. As stood right at the very entrance, just about to enter the small, yet busy cafe he resided in, was you. But you were not alone, in fact he briefly glanced behind you to the quite attractive person behind you. Who were they? Was one of the many questions that flew through his thoughts just then. Surely, it wasn't a date right? Quackity wouldn't admit it but he did feel a little bit of hope that maybe you were just there as friends. Yet, as he examined you two further, that bit of hope died and he felt his heart sink a little in his chest. He watched as the person beside you, carefully grabbed your hand and pulled you inside to a table on the opposite side of the diner.
To be honest, Quackity had no clue why he still felt sad when he silently observed you on your date with another person, that wasn't him, might he add. The fight/breakup was a month or two ago, he knew that you were allowed to see other people now and go on dates with them. He knew he should probably move on now too, if you were so clearly doing so. Then again, he couldn't help the next things to flood into his thoughts. Did you even love him? Did you even regret storming out of that door that day? Hell, were you even heartbroken over the fact that you had lost what you had with him? All these sudden thoughts, he desperately wanted answers too, and yet he had simply had none.
The raven-haired boy only snapped back to reality when he heard the footsteps of someone approaching his table. He felt his eyes suddenly move from where they were previously locked onto you, and drift to the figure near him now. It was only the waitress, bringing him his hot beverage. He murmured a quick 'thank you' towards her, and watched her scurry off in a hurry to collect more orders. He grabbed the warm mug and brought it closer towards himself. Perhaps, he should be glad that the waitress arrived when she did. He didn't want to risk you feeling someone staring, and turning around to find him there looking in your direction. That would be embarrassing on his part, and he didn't want to come off as a total creep or stalker.
Alex wasn't sure if he could keep sitting there, a few booths down from where you and your date now sat. He couldn't help but frown at the sounds of laughter that spilled from your lips, making his heart carefully ache. What was stopping him from simply getting up from his seat? What was stopping him from going up to the counter and asking for his drink in a takeaway cup? Genuinely, he didn't even know himself. Clearly, he didn't think he was ready to be in the same proximity to you. If he left right now, he knew it would save him from a whole lot more heartbreak. But, as he sat there and slowly took small sips of the beverage that was currently situated between his fingers and heating up his palms. The sun's rays of light gently beaming in through the large window to the side of him, he couldn't help but allow his thoughts to continue to roam.
He couldn't compare to whoever that was sat opposite you, making you smile like that. Making you smile and laugh, just like how he used to do. Atleast, he fully believed and thought that he couldn't. Eventually, he had enough of carefully observing the couple from afar and slowly taking sips of his drink. He just wanted to leave, and so he did. He got up from where he was seated, discarding the now half-empty mug of what he had been drinking. He needed to get home anyways, he did plan on appearing on one of his friends' twitch streams later today. Carefully, adjusting the beanie that most oftenly sat upon his head of raven hair, he moved through the aisle of diner booths and towards the exit.
His actions suddenly having caught the attention, of you who had peeked up from your meal that had just arrived now. You felt a brief look of sadness flash across your face as you saw him there, about to leave the cafe. Yet, it was gone in an instant when you remembered who you were still with. Did you even really want to engage with Alex? You knew you did miss him, of course you did. Wouldn't talking to him though bring up old feelings and reopen those wounds from that night? probably, so you didn't risk it. You both would be on the road to healing from that relationship, so talking to him right now you doubted would change anything between you two. So you sat there, attempting to fight the urge to call his name and go after him, while he slowly exited the building and onto the street.
You're with somebody I can't be, yeah
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losttinwritings · 2 years
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.4]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: this was actually one of the hardest lyrics of the song to write for, so I'm not exactly proud of it but It works I guess
[masterlist]
[series masterlist]
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Quackity wasn't sure what drew him into the bathroom as he had gotten home from the grocery store. But there he was, stood with his hands fisted around the edge of the countertop surrounding the sink. His beanie had somehow managed to fall off, in his haste to get in there.
He peered up into his reflection, to spot the puffiness around his eyes from crying. The frown which stretched across his lips. He felt broken and as if he was falling apart piece by piece. He should've tried harder to keep Y/n from leaving. Because now he's beating himself up over his stupid mistakes and regrettable words he called her.
Hell, he's pretty sure he didn't feel like himself during the fight that day. But he knew no matter how much apologising he could do or say. He didn't think he'd be forgiven for how he'd treated Y/n in the last month or two of their relationship. He definitely wasn't expecting to be forgiven by her either.
Why are breakups so painful and horrible to go through? He thought to himself, bitterly. This was the worst thing he could have ever been subjected too. He wanted the pain to go away. It felt like it was too much to handle.
It felt like he was suffocating in sadness and heartbreak over words he wishes he had said. Words that will now remain unsaid. All the variations of 'What If?' flooded his thoughts as he tried to fight back the tears he didn't want to fall.
Everything he had wanted has now been taken away from him. He can't stop time and he definitely can't turn it back. He has to live with this overwhelming guilt for as long as he grieves. Which if Quackity was being honest, he didn't think it would ever go away.
Quackity forced himself to turn away from the mirror, the salty tears still spilling rapidly down his cheeks. He couldn't bare to look at what he had turned into. What crying over a stupid pointless breakup turned him into. Maybe it was his fault for initiating it.
Are you even torn up over it as he is? The question has been bothering him for days. Do you even regret the words you spat out in a fit of anger at him? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night knowing that you think you had ruined everything?
Or were you glad when you stormed out of that door that day? Were you even sad over the breakup? Quackity tried to rid himself of those such thoughts which flew through his mind. You didn't regret it at all. Atleast he didn't think you did. He did recall seeing you distraught and emotional that day when you came to pick up your stuff. Or maybe you were just faking it.
"Thanks again Alex, I'll miss you I guess."  You spoke each word carefully, picking up the last box of your belongings. Your feet hurriedly carrying you out the front door that day, eyes all puffy from crying. A small smile had slipped onto your features in order to appear okay. When in fact on the inside you were not.
Quackity shakily moved his hand to wave at you, as you got into the car and drove off. Watching as you didn't look back not once. It took everything in his being to not burst out that door, get into his own car and drive after you. It took everything in him to not follow after and spew multiple apologies in your direction.
You both needed the space, and he knew that. You both had just broken up around two days before. So he didn't. Instead, he took one last look at where your car used to stay parked. Fighting back the tears that threatened to spill, and moved back inside. Only then did he allow them all to fall freely.
Finally finding the strength, the black-haired boy hurriedly wiped away his tears and exited the bathroom. His feet moved to carry him to his streaming office. Where his friends were all waiting on him for their stream that day. He couldn't do much to hide the puffiness of his eyes except adjust his beanie and the few bits of hair that fell into his face.
He slid into his desk chair, pulling on his headset onto his head. He pulled his microphone a little closer to him, as he adjusted his positioning and switched his monitors on. And as he proceeded to click on the small icon which lead him to the voice chat his friends were in. He forced a smile to his face as he waited for an opportunity to speak.
"Hey guys!" he greeted his friends, who each responded with a short greeting in response. And as he proceeded to enjoy his time with his internet best friends, he slowly forgot about the fact that he had been crying not that long ago. He was just glad that nobody had noticed.
I didn't know myself at all
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losttinwritings · 2 years
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.3]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: Bit of a shorter chapter, but that's because I didn't know what else to write for it. Enjoy though :)
[masterlist]
[series masterlist]
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QUACKITY PULLED HIMSELF through the sliding door of the grocery store. His eyes scanned the surrounding area as he searched for the food items he needed. He just wanted to hurry up and get this shopping done and go home already. Every little thing still reminds him of the wonderful girl he had lost.
His hands clutched at the basket he held tightly, staring sadly at the display of apples in front of him. Apples were always your favourite, he had remembered from all the times he would see you eating the juicy fruit.
He shook his head, forcing himself to grab a couple and put them into his basket. His feet slowly moved on, attempting to distract himself from everything. But it was incredibly difficult when for some reason anything he saw in that stupid grocery store, he would somehow manage to link it back to you.
Your favourite foods, drinks, snacks. Everytime he walked past the aisles they belonged in, it made him want to scream. His eyes fought to hold back tears as he shakily grabbed a can of whatever food he needed and put it into his basket again.
Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have waited a few more days to go shopping again. He did just breakup up with his longtime girlfriend, and he didn't think he was in the right state of mind at that moment.
"What do you want for the future?" You asked, from where you sat huddled into his side on the living room couch. Quackity's fingers gently drawing small circles onto your arms as the two figures attempted to just take in the moment between them.
He liked this, he liked the spent time together where they both could just hang and intertwine themselves as they talked about whatever meaningless topics they could have thought of. No distractions like streaming, work or anything else that was stressful. It was just them. The two of them so utterly in love.
"I don't know, any future is fine. As long as you're in it." He finally said, after taking a moment to think it through. He knew what he was saying was true, as cliche as it may be. He did see himself at your side every single day. He did see himself stood across from you at the end of the aisle, professing your vows to each other.
"That was kinda cheesy, but I do agree." Y/n allowed a small chuckle to slip past her lips, adjusting the position you were in for a moment. "I'm not sure what I'd do if I didn't have you in my life, Alex"
Nevermind, he definitely couldn't do this today. He carefully placed whatever object he'd just picked up back down. He dropped the almost full basket onto the ground where he stood. He needed to get out of there already, so he hurriedly turned on his heel and turned out of the store.
He was sure, there was a ton of eyes drawing onto his retreating figure as he exited. But he didn't care at that moment. He felt like it was too overwhelming inside that store, he couldn't focus properly on the groceries he need to buy, when all he could think of was Y/n.
His feet carried themself back to his car. He opened the car door, and got back in. He refused to let the tears fall again, as he buckled his seatbelt and prepared to drive out of the parking lot and back home. He wanted to head home, before he fully broke down then.
Why did he have to allow himself to do what he did to the girl he loved the most? When it's everything he's regretted since. I guess it's the consequences he's supposed to face for his own shitty actions.
You were literally everything he ever wanted in a romantic partner. Atleast that's he always thought, until he completely fucked it up that day.
Of course, even his car radio had it out for him. He thought as the sudden lyrics of "-thought I knew just what I wanted" could suddenly be heard playing through the car speakers.
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losttinwritings · 2 years
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.2]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: I just want to apologise in advance, the next chapters are going to be really slow and take a fair while to come out because the default keyboard on my tablet (which i use to write) is completely fucked and not working properly. And i dont have a physical/blutooth one to use. So i have zero clue when i am going to be able to write again, but i have started the third chapter atleast.
[masterlist]
[series masterlist]
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ALL QUACKITY REGRETS ABOUT HIS PAST RELATIONSHIP, is the night it all turned sour. The harsh words he can clearly remember being thrown in both directions, which always managed to come back and haunt him, playing in his mind like a broken record. He hated it. He hated how angry he was that day. He'd just finished streaming for the third night in a row and took his anger out on her when she accused him of not giving her much attention. Which technically that were true.
He regretted how he treated Y/n in the last two months of their relationship, always seeming to neglect her because he was too busy streaming with his online friends. If he could, he would go back in time and stop himself from escalating that stupid fight. He'd stop himself from allowing her to walk out that door, and he would try to fix things with her. Fix what he could and maybe he'd still have her. But he can't. He can't go back to that moment and thats what breaks his heart a little more everytime.
Y/n fiddled with the remote to the tv in front of her, her eyes repeatedly glanced between the empty hallway. Until they eventually landed on the figure of her beloved boyfriend, who had just closed the door to the office room from where he'd been streaming all day. His eyes lit up at the sight of his girlfriend on the couch briefly, despite the tiredness he seemed to now be feeling.
"Alex!" she called, standing from where she had been previously been situated on their living room couch. A little happiness could be detected in her voice at the call of her lover's name. "Did you want to watch a movie with me? now that you're finished streaming that is."
Alex, adjusted the beanie on his head and scratched at the back of his neck in thought for a moment. He did want to watch a movie with her, he knew that for sure. But he was so tired and in desperate need of a nap from streaming these past few days, he didn't think he could stay awake for more then five minutes of a hour-long movie. Surely, his girlfriend would understand if he did that right?
"Um...I'm kinda tired right now. Maybe another day sorry." He shrugged hesitantly, moving his gaze from Y/n's just as it fell slightly. He knew she was disappointed about the fact he wasn't gonna watch it with her.
"But you hardly hang out with me anymore!" Y/n felt herself taking a step forwards and closer to the boy still stood in the hallway. As she fiddled with her fingers carefully, the words that had just left her lips had come out louder than she had intended them too.
Quackity knew she was right with those words, but at the time he didn't want to admit it to her. He had been a pretty shitty boyfriend the last few months to her, never wanting to hang out with her a lot and instead locking himself up in his office all day to stream non-stop. And only taking minor breaks for food or sleep.
"And I promise I will hang out with you more! but I'm just tired and want to sleep right now!" He argued.
"We both know that won't happen! you're just gonna ignore me again!" The h/c's words seemed to be getting harsher and louder each time she spit out another accusation at him. She knew these words were in fact getting to and hurting him, but he tried to not let that hurt show.
The argument continued, as the couple threw insults that they didn't really mean back and forth between them. Though the words still did damage. They both had tear-stained cheeks, with fresh ones threatening to fall in the midst of it all. Alex didn't want to fight with her, but with Y/n suddenly blowing a few words he said out of proportion. Here they were, with red faces and sore throats yelling out at each other from across the room. Neither of them having the guts to end their biggest and worst fight yet.
They hardly ever fought but the one time they did, it blew up in their faces and forever broke them and their relationship apart. Those words he has regretted ever since he had said them. Those meaningless words he so desperately wishes he could take back once again.
"You're so clingy!"
"Stop being a bitch!"
"I hate you"
They kept rushing through his head, reminding himself of what he had lost. What he wish he still had. It just made him so mad and angry starting that stupid fight that he spat out things he didn't even mean. Words that he knew had deeply wounded his ex-girlfriend because next thing he knew was that she had stormed out of their front door, and never to return back into the apartment. Except to grab her stuff.
Quackity fell back onto the couch, tucking his head into his hands as he leaned over. He tried to stop the tears from falling from his eyes and down his cheeks again, because everytime they did. He couldn't stop it from happening.
"I hate this. I hate this. I hate this." He kept repeating under his breath, the guilt of the fight still piled onto his shoulders. " I wish- I should've told you not to go."
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losttinwritings · 2 years
Text
because i had you
[cc!Quackity x Fem!Reader] [chpt.1]
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SUMMARY: In which Quackity is left reminiscing about his past relationship with his ex-girlfriend after their breakup.
WARNINGS: mainly angst, um crying and mentions of moving on? there's like no fluff here sorry guys
A-N: The lyrics to the song will be included at the very end of each chapter, but anyways first chapter :)))
[masterlist]
[series masterlist]
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QUACKITY CLOSED HIS STREAM, he felt the smile which he'd managed to plaster onto his features everytime he went live on twitch, slip away. As he proceeded to switch off his monitors and webcam. It'd been a month since his girlfriend (now ex) broke up with him, proceeding to stomp all over his now shattered heart as she did so.
He quickly rose from his chair and exited his streaming room, his gaze trying not to linger on the faint reminders still present in his home. The memories which if you weren't looking then you'd totally miss them being there. But yet, that was much harder said then done, as he walked through the quiet hall of his apartment. His thoughts suddenly picking up on everything he owned and somehow managing to connect it to what he had lost, or much rather who.
The chip in the kitchen countertop came to his attention, as he entered the room and flicked on the light switch to prepare a late-night snack. The very countertop he remembered she had accidentally hit with a box filled with fragile objects, when they both moved into the place.
Loud music could be heard from the hallway of the empty apartment that Quackity and Y/n had just purchased together. The former having taken to the bedroom and was unpacking a couple of the boxes in there. Whereas the latter had just entered into their new place, a cardboard box which was labelled 'fragile' in her grasp as she struggled to carry it through the hall and into the kitchen.
She eventually made it through the dining room, stepping over other empty boxes and cluttered objects which littered the ground in front of her. She felt kind of accomplished, when she looked up to find she'd managed to carry the heavy box all the way here. Unaware, to the last object which she'd failed to notice was right by her foot.
"Shit." she cursed loudly, when she took another step in front of her but only to stumble and connect with the ground before her. The box she'd been holding had managed to collide with the countertop itself, chipping a little piece of the marble, before it too fell to the ground. Hopefully, nothing had broken though.
Quackity having heard the commotion coming from the kitchen, made his way in. Stopping as he spotted his girlfriend sprawled gently across on the ground, trying to pick up everything from the box she'd dropped. He let out a loud laugh at the sight, coming closer to the girl and leaning against the counter now. Small chuckles still escaping from his lips.
"Oh shut up, Alex." Y/n spoke, turning her head sideways to face the laughing figure of her boyfriend standing there, after checking that nothing had been broken. "It's not funny, I could've been hurt."
"Yeah but you weren't, were you?" He giggled again, now reaching his hand down to help her up. The h/c took it and pulled herself from the ground and back into a standing position. A light laugh now slipping from her own lips, realising it was kinda funny if she was being honest.
He shook his head to rid himself of the memory, and forced himself to look away when a single tear suddenly slid onto his cheek. The black-haired (?) boy, eventually grabbed a glass and filled it with tap water. Deciding he was a little too tired to eat something instead, before finishing and dropping the empty glass into the sink. A small sigh left his lips, as he exited back out through the kitchen. He quietly followed his way through the hall again, wanting to just lay down in bed and drift off to sleep.
Quackity rubbed his eyes tiredly, when he finally entered the bedroom and was just about to slip under his covers of the bed, when he felt his gaze locking onto something. His eyes widened briefly, as he recognised what it was that was sat carefully on the opposite nightstand. It was a single polaroid, and the first one that he and Y/n had taken together, at the very beginning of their relationship.
Carefully, Alex shuffled to the other side of the bed and picked the old photo up from where it lay. He must have forgotten to put it away after the breakup and when he was helping Y/n clear out her things. But now as he's staring at the picture, it makes his heart break a little more. It had been one of his favourites too, as it'd been taken a week after he'd asked her to be his girlfriend and they'd just finished a date at a nearby cafe. When the h/c (hair colour) had practically begged the male to let her take a photo of them both, with a polaroid camera she'd managed to bring in her bag.
He felt like a sob was about to break out from him at the sight of the girl in the photo, but he managed to stop it from escaping. His hand dropped quickly, and he turned away from the nightstand. Quackity headed back to his side of the bed, no longer wanting to look or be reminded of his past from the polaroid. One last tired sigh falling from his lips, as he got under his covers and fell asleep.
I think it's time I be honest
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