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THIS IS SO SWEET!! 😍😍

A Good ol' Catch up- Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x F!Reader

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Wife!Female!Reader

Word Count: 2,551

Summary: It had been three years since the end of the uranium mission, and the Dagger team hadn’t seen one another since. Now, a new mission pulls them back together, and there’s a lot of catching up to do.

Warnings: no major ones I can think of - use of y/n - bad writing and poorly written fluff - probably spelling mistakes (you wouldn't think I write for a living, honestly)

Notes: Being English, I have very little knowledge of the US Navy and how accommodation works for it. What I do know is the living arrangements of married couples in the British Army in 1980s Berlin (thanks parents) - so this is massively inspired by that. Hopefully, it isn't too incorrect (if so, it is cute to imagine at least!) Also, y/n is an Aircraft Controller for the sake of the plot, this is the person who relays information to pilots, like the woman in the film who talks to the Dagger squad on comms about the launches and stuff in Maverick. I would genuinely be interested in writing more about Jake and an AC!Reader in the future, so let me know if you want more from these two.

I hope you all enjoy it! Please feel free to send requests in for Hangman and Rooster - I can't get enough of these two at the moment. ~ Find my Masterlist Here

“Hangman, you’re back too?” Phoenix shouted from across the bar as Jake stepped in and glanced around, the familiarly creaky door of the Hard Deck swinging closed behind him instantly making him feel at home. 

“You think the higher-ups would pull a stunt like this and not invite me?” he smiled widely, making his way over to the trio of Trace, Bradshaw, and Floyd as he swung his well-worn flight jacket off his shoulders and slung it over the empty chair beside them all. 

He would never admit it, but Jake had missed his nights with the Dagger squad. It must have been at least three years now since the Uranium mission, and each of them had gone their separate ways again, back to their respective bases and gradually losing touch as they hopped from one country, ocean, and ship to another. 

“No one else here yet?” he asked, sauntering over to the bar where Penny had already grabbed him a beer - “Thanks, m’dear,” he nodded to her quickly.

“Coyote was here, but he slinked off with a girl ogling his uniform about ten minutes ago and we haven’t seen him since,” Bradley snickered, standing to clasp Jake’s hand and pull him into a brief hug, slapping his shoulder, “Payback and Fanboy are due in a day or so, they only got back from a deployment yesterday apparently.” Jake nodded as he sat, taking a sip of his beer as he listened.

“Speaking of deployment, does anyone know why we are all back again?” Bob asked.

Jake shook his head, “Not a clue, got the call a few weeks ago – must be a challenge if they needed me to keep you all in check,” he joked, laughing as Phoenix rolled her eyes. 

“I can see you haven’t changed much, Bagman.”

“More than you would think,” he rebuked quickly, glancing at her over his lifted drink.

The music was loud and the bar hot as the four caught up, retelling what they could of the events of their lives over the last three years. Nat and Bob had managed to score some deployments together after Mav had put in a good word about the duo – the pair was now easily the best pilot/WSO team in active service. Jake had heard a few quick stories of a pair that was dominating every mission in the Pacific – he should have guessed it would have been them. 

“How’s the girl back home, Roo?” Nat asked, standing to join him in a game of darts. 

“She’s good, been a year now.” “And she’s good with the porn ‘tache?” Jake joked, sitting back and twisting in his chair a little to watch.

“She loves the porn ‘tache,” Bradley hit back, “especially when I-”

“You know what, I take it back,” Jake grimaced, trying to hate the way Rooster smirked with his little win, but realising that he had actually direly missed the back-and-forth.

The evening continued pretty much along these lines – jokes, drinks, and games – as if they had never been broken up in the first place. As the clock slowly ticked towards nine, Jake finally stood, slapping his knee lightly, the group’s heads turning towards him. 

“I best be heading home,” Jake stood, picking up his jacket. 

“Not like you to be having an early night, Bagman,” Rooster teased as he took another sip of his beer, Jake just shook his head sniggering as he slung his jacket on.

“I’ll walk back to the bunks with you, had a long day myself,” Bob began to stand up himself,

“Oh I’m not in the bunks this time round,” Jake stopped him, the group looking at him confused as Bob halted his movements halfway through standing up. Catching Phoenix's knitted brows, his face lit up with a smirk, “I’m in the married quarters.”

Rooster nearly spat out his beer, coughing a little as he tried to regain his composure, Bob patted his back as he shook his head and held his hand up to signal he was okay before lightly wiping his chin. “Excuse me?” Phoenix nearly shouted. “Am I missing something?” she glanced at his hands which were hooked through his belt loops but didn’t spot a ring.  

Jake continued his sarky smile as he fished his dog tag necklace from beneath his top. Sure enough, a gold band hung there, contrasted against the cool silver. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” Bob sat back down unceremoniously.

“Who the hell did you convince to marry you?” Bradley asked, still in disbelief. 

“You can come and meet her if you like?” Jake offered, jokingly gesturing towards the bar door after tucking the necklace back safely away. He had never seen them down their drinks and gather their jackets quicker. 

“We have been sitting here for nearly three hours and you didn’t mention you had a wife? Or husband, I suppose…” Nat grilled him

Jake shook his head as he led the way out of the bar and down the beach back towards the base. 

“Wife,” he affirmed. “We are private, I suppose – only way to avoid drama in the Navy.” 

“You’re not fucking with us right? Like, you actually sat and paid attention to one woman for longer than a week,” Rooster teased.

Jake rolled his eyes, “Do you really think so lowly of me?” He turned slightly to look at him but continued to walk.

“I just wasn’t expecting that out of the four of us, you would be the one to settle down first.”

“Jealous, Rooster?” Bradley huffed out his nose in a half laugh. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” 

The married quarters were a little distance from the main bunks for officers without families. The compound was a little more self-contained for those with husbands, wives, and children to keep away from the rowdy bunches of single naval recruits causing havoc in their downtime. 

“Damn, this place is far nicer than my spot,” Rooster whistled, looking around as Jake unlocked the main door. “Hey Nat, fancy getting hitched for a free upgrade?” he joked, smirking

“In your dreams, chicken boy,” she laughed.

Jake swung the doors open before heading up the stairs, taking two at a time before he stopped at another door, opening it to reveal a comfortable flat, a few moving boxes strewn around and half opened.

“Honey, I’m home,” he called, unable to stop himself smiling as Bradley jokingly gagged behind him. “I brought some people for you to meet.”

Throwing a muslin towel over your shoulder, you emerged from one of the bedrooms, smiling as you saw your husband trailing three of who you presumed to be the infamous dagger squadron behind him.

“Nice night?” you asked as he moved to kiss your cheek. 

“Of course,” he swung around to face the group awkwardly standing in your small living room entryway. “Believe me now?” he asked him, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side for a brief moment.

You stepped forward and offered your hand to Nat, who was at the front of the three, “I’m presuming you’re Phoenix,” you started shaking her hand, “Then Rooster, and… Bob?” 

“Ye-yeah, that’s us,” Bob nodded, “You seem to know a lot about us?” he asked as you moved to shake his hand. 

“Well, of course, you’re Jakes’s closest buddies. It’s just a shame it took us this long to finally meet,” she smiled. You missed how they all looked at him bewildered at your little hit of truth. 

“I’m [y/n] - it really is so good to meet you all at last. Do you want anything to drink? I think we have some beers in the fridge, and some water - we haven’t had a chance to properly go to the store yet so I’m afraid that’s all I can offer.” “Beers would be great, thank you [y/n]” Nat spoke up. You smiled, moving to the kitchen to grab them.

“Closest mates, eh?” Bradley asked smugly. 

Jake rolled his eyes as he fell back onto the couch, gesturing for the others to do the same, “shut up.”

You came back with the drinks, handing them out before Jake pulled you into his lap, allowing you to perch on his knee to prevent you from having to sit on the floor. 

“Sorry if I am behind on this, but when on earth did you get married – how did you even meet – when?” Nat asked, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees as she took a sip of her drink, trying to get a grip on the sight in front of her.

“[y/n] here was the aircraft controller at my home base,” Jake began, glancing up at you, his eyes not leaving your face as he admired you. “How was I supposed to not fall in love with that voice in my ear every day,” he said lovingly. “After talking to her through comms for weeks, I finally got a glance of her at a mess do – and I was a goner from there.” 

You blushed as you listened to his retelling. 

“And why weren’t we invited to the wedding?” Bradley asked, slinging his arm over the back of the sofa as he settled back fully. 

“Well it was all pretty quick, unexpectedly,” you continued as Jake took a drink. “We got engaged and were going to plan taking time off for a full-on wedding back in Texas, but then Jake got orders for a six-month deployment and I was off to fill in on another ship on another mission last minute, so off to the courthouse we went – there and then.” 

As you finished your story, a small cry came from the back bedroom. The trio’s heads whipped round at the noise, “no way…” Bob started. 

“I’ll get her,” Jake gently moved you off his knee and let you settle back where he had been. You couldn’t help but snuggle into the warmth he left behind. As Jake disappeared from view, Nat looked back at you,

“If you are being held against your will, blink twice,” she joked.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “J joked you might say something like that,” you smiled, leaning forward to grab his bottle from the table and take a sip. “Don’t worry, I was on the other side of his comms unit every day – every time he went up, I knew what I was getting myself into.”

“And you still said yes?” Bob asked. 

“Crazy, I know,” you chuckled as Jake reemerged carrying a toddler, no older than one, on his hip, her bright blonde hair confirming that she was indeed, his. 

“I wish she would settle like that for me,” you cooed.

“What can I say, she’s a daddy’s girl,” Jake smiled back before glancing back down at his daughter, the small girl clinging to his shoulder and babbling. “This is Elena,” he introduced her as he turned her to look at everyone. The toddler looked at them before Jake placed her down gently, watching as she slowly toddled over to you, using your knee to find her balance, and then to Bob, who offered her his hand to balance her as she continued to fuss around the group.

“She’s confident,” Nat commented, a light smile on her face.

“Gets that from her dad,” you smiled down at Jake who had resigned himself to sitting on the floor at your feet, leaning against your legs, watching Elena like a hawk in case he needed to dive in to stop her falling or walking into the coffee table. 

As you all continued to chat, you felt Jake’s hand wrap itself around the calf of your crossed leg, his calloused fingers slowly dragging themselves up and down the skin absentmindedly as he intermittently contributed to the conversation – mainly to refute any embarrassing claims made about him both from you and the rest of his squad. 

His gaze remained largely fixed on your toddler, who was still fussing between your guests, taking a particular liking to Rooster and his funny moustache, which she had been keen to touch and try to work out for herself – much to his amusement. The funny face she pulled when looking at it closely made Jake laugh,

“She really is my kid – that’s how I feel about Rooster too, darlin’” he smiled at her as she fussed to be put back down and toddled over to him, laying in his lap and fussing with his spare hand. He reached up to take his necklace off, removing his hand from your leg momentarily to allow him to wrap the chain around a few of his fingers securely. He then handed the tags to Elena, watching as her face lit up at something new to mess with. His hand found your skin again as his tags immediately went into your daughter’s mouth, Jake’s grip on the chain stopping her from pulling them too deeply and choking. It was clear that she found the cool metal distasteful as she pulled them back out and started fiddling with the shiny objects, her tiny fingers playing with the wedding ring he usually wore so close to his heart. 

It was safe to say that he had never been happier. The sound of your comforting voice had always been a beacon of hope for him – particularly when he was on tricky missions and it came sailing over the comm unit with news and tactical information. It was your job, yes, but god did it feel just like you did it for him sometimes – and how he relished in these self-indulgent daydreams. 

Hearing you now, chatting happily to three of the six people he had arguably gone through the most with with his daughter babbling with his wedding ring in his lap, he felt truly complete. The feeling of your fingers mindlessly playing with his hair as you continue your conversation with Bob made his heart swell and his whole body relax. 

“We should probably head off,” Bob mused, watching how Elena’s eyes were closing slowly on Jake’s thigh, Jake not far off sleep himself as you continued to play with his scalp. 

“Of course,” you nodded and smiled, standing with them, “It really was nice to finally meet you. I hope I’ll catch up with the rest of the team soon too?”

“Of course you will, honey,” Jake had stood carefully and kissed your head lightly. 'I'm going to pop her back down for the night, I’ll see you all on deck in the morning,’ he nodded and wandered back to your daughter’s nursery as the others called a few goodnights. 

“I’ll speak to you all over comms tomorrow, I suppose,” you smiled as you all made your way to the door. 

“Jake seems so different nowadays, I don’t suppose you have managed to change him in the air too, have you?” Bob joked as he threw his jacket on. 

You couldn’t help but snicker, “He’s still Hangman if that’s what you’re asking – incredible pilot, incredibly cocksure.” You couldn’t miss the mild disappointment on Bob’s face, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, though, and I know you wouldn’t, either. Besides, there is a reason he is up for Captaincy after this mission," you mentioned casually as you opened the door and leaned against it.

“He’s WHAT?”

Tags: you lot all loved the little snippet I put out, so I presumed you'd be interested in being tagged - I hope that's okay!

@rosiahills22 @hangmandruigandmav @djs8891@a-girl-who-loves-disney @callsign-minx

#jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader

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This is so good! I’m in love!!

secret wife

pairing: Bob Floyd x fem!reader

warnings: none, all fluff

summary: When you go to pick up Bob at the base the dagger squad finds out that Bob's been keeping a wife from them.

word count: 1k

A/N: Thanks for 3k followers!

Bob pulled his phone out of his locker as the guys all piled into the locker room behind him. There was a text from you awaiting Bob. 

I’m waiting in the lobby for you. Don’t take too long. xoxo

“Did you guys see the hot girl in the lobby?” Coyote asked as he walked into the locker room. Bob smirked to himself as he started to take off his flight suit. 

“Who do you think she is?” Fanboy pondered. 

“I was gonna find out after we got changed,” Rooster said. 

“Don’t bother. Bet she’s a recruit’s girlfriend,” Payback suggested. 

“Who do you think?” Asked Hangman. 

“I don’t know,” Payback responded. “But I know what a woman in love looks like.”

“I don’t believe that,” Hangman teased Payback. 

“I’m married,” Payback pointed out. 

“So you tell us, but we’ve never seen your wife,” Rooster taunted. 

“Her picture is on my dash,” Payback said. 

“Could be anyone,” Fanboy joined in. 

“You’ve met her, Fanboy,” Payback said. 

“You can’t prove anything,” Fanboy teased. Bob was quietly enjoying the conversation as he grabbed the rest of his things. He slipped his bag over his shoulders and closed his locker. 

“See y’all tomorrow,” Bob said as he headed out to meet you in the lobby. When he rounded the corner his smile widened as you stood to greet him. You were wearing paint stained jeans and an old t-shirt that used to be Bob’s, but it had been years since that was true. It was yours now, just like he was. 

“You changed out of the flight suit,” you said forlornly when Bob walked up. 

“It was all sweaty, angel,” Bob told you.

“I wanted to take it off you though,” you whined. Bob gave you a cheeky grin. 

“You want me to put on the white uniform when I get home?” Bob offered. He leaned down and kissed you tenderly before you could answer. 

“The hot girl is your girlfriend?” Hangman practically shouted from behind Bob. He turned over his shoulder to see the whole squad watching the two of you. 

“Wife, actually,” Bob said. “Been meaning to introduce ya.” 

“You didn’t say you have a wife!” Phoenix exclaimed. 

“Didn’t come up,” Bob said. “We’ve only known each other for a month.” Everyone gawked at Bob, thinking a month was plenty of time to let your friends know you have a wife. 

“He likes to keep me protected from his work,” you piped in when Bob failed to explain himself. Bob wound his fingers between yours. He lifted your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. 

“What’s your name?” Phoenix asked. 

“Y/N,” you told her. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Phoenix murmured. You could hear in her voice that she felt betrayed by Bob. You knew he wouldn’t notice though. You wanted to stop him from hurting her more.

“I keep my ring on my dog tags,” Bob said, pulling them up from his shirt to prove it. 

“I thought it was your dad’s,” Phoenix told him. “You always talk about him.” 

“Bobby’s told me a lot about you,” you interjected. “I was hoping you would have dinner with us. I’d like to make the pilot who saved my Bobby a good meal.” Phoenix met your eye and you gave her a warm smile. She gave a tiny nod and smiled back. 

“I’d love to, ma’am,” Phoenix said. 

“I’m her wingman,” Rooster called. “Could say that I kept Bobby safe too.” Bob blushed brightly. 

“Payback and I were on the mission,” Fanboy said.

“I saved Bob’s wingman,” Hangman added. You looked up at Bob in question. 

“They know you’re the one who makes my lunches now,” Bob said. You giggled. You always made Bob his lunches. When he was deployed he didn’t get good home cooked meals, so you made sure he had them three times a day when he was home with you. 

“Well, some of you might have to sit on the couch, but I’d be happy to cook for my husband’s friends,” you said.  

“I can’t believe that baby on board has a wife and you don’t even have a girlfriend,” Hangman teased Rooster. 

“You don’t either,” Rooster spit back. 

“No woman can hold me down,” Hangman joked. 

“He’s the one your sister would like, right?” You asked, trying to keep your voice quiet. 

“You’ve got a sister?” Hangman called out. 

“Yeah,” Bob said. “And I’m quite sure she could hold you down if she wanted.” Hangman’s eyes widened. You chuckled. 

“You’re going to set him up with your sister?” Rooster complained. 

“That’s y/n’s scheme. She wants my sister to live near us,” Bob explained. 

“She’s funnier than you, Bobby,” you said. 

“You do spend a lot of time laughing at me together,” Bob teased. He didn’t really mind though. Everytime he had come home to find you and his sister in tears from laughing so hard it had made him even more sure that he’d chosen the right person to marry. 

“Well, when do I get to meet her?” Hangman asked, a wide smirk on his face. 

“I’ll have her come over for dinner with all of you,” you said. “Next Sunday at 6:00. Don’t be late,” you told them. Then you tugged on Bob’s hand, signaling you wanted to go home. 

“Bye, guys,” Bob said. “See ya in the morning.” With that he slung his arm around your shoulders and led you out of the base. 

“I can’t believe Bob didn’t tell us he has a wife,” Payback muttered. 

“I can’t believe Hangman’s the first choice for his sister,” Fanboy said. 

“Why not? You think Bob wants to be related to any of you?” Hangman asked proudly. Rooster snorted. 

“Yes. I would have thought he’d want any of us before you.”  

A/N: There is a part two of the dinner now available

#bob floyd x reader #bob floyd fluff #top gun x reader

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they moved wyll to the center for good pr

#omg this is too funny #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3

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I can hear his voice as I read this post

Headcanon that a romanced Garrus shouts “THATS MY GIRL” or “DAMN that’s sexy” when Shepard does something like gets a headshot on a centurion with their shield raised

#mass effect #shakarian #garrus vakarian

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Shakarian WIP

#🥹🥹🥹 #mass effect #shakarian #garrus vakarian

[licensed-fan-girl]

I heard this audio on tiktok and immediately thought of Shepard when you initiate the romance with Garrus 😅

Audio is from game grumps

#mass effect #lolol #garrus vakarian #shakarian

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Here's a completely unedited screenshot from ME2

#😂😂😂 #mass effect #mass effect 2 #garrus vakarian

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In the business, we call this foreshadowing.

#lol #mass effect 1 #garrus vakarian #shepard #shakarian

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Well, if anyone can make hybrids of two sentient species that have fundamentally differing DNA structures… I have some feelings about Garrus y’all…

#shakarian #garrus vakarian #mordin solus #mass effect

[licensed-fan-girl]

Okay but like. A thought

Turians start their compulsory military service at fifteen, and they're not allowed to leave military service until they're thirty*

That means that, aside from a minority of early bloomers, they spend the horniest, most hormonal period of their lives in the army. All of them. No exceptions.

So like. There is no way Shepard is the first time Garrus has crushed on a superior officer. Having the hots for your CO and having your Yearning™ subvocals accidentally announce it to your entire unit is practically a rite of passage in Awkward Turian Puberty. It's expected, and forgivable...for a teenager who can't keep his dick behind his plates for longer than five minutes, because he's realising for the very first time that Girls Exist.

Anyway. Garrus who's absolutely dying of cringe for like the whole of ME1 and most of ME2 because he's the wrong side of 25 and still getting inappropriate crushes on authority figures and she's human and they have so many weird little fingers, like fucked-up pyjaks, what is wrong with him? And it's getting a bit ridiculous now anyway like this is the kind of lesson he should've learned when he was nineteen and hit on his pretty, older squad leader and she laughed in his face, but apparently not - and it's so juvenile and even without Wrex around to laugh at him he's - wait hold on Shepard what do you mean blow off steam?

Oh. Oh. Well, alright then. He could be convinced, definitely

* Garrus straight up deserted to go play Batman, y'all

#lolol #mass effect #mass effect headcanons #shakarian #garrus vakarian #that man has a type and its ladies that could knock him out

[licensed-fan-girl]

Having feelings about Garrus during a successful Suicide Mission

It's. Fairly obvious throughout the game that the massacre of Archangel's team has taken a wrecking ball to Garrus's self-confidence. He sees himself as a failure - failed C-Sec detective, failed vigilante - and blames himself for their deaths. Nalah Butler tells Shepard outright that Garrus took every shot fired at his team as a personal failure to keep them safe. He's been holding himself to impossible ideals, as turians are wont to do, and he's fallen short, and it's shaken him badly.

However. He is, honestly, the obvious choice for leader of the second fire team on the Suicide Mission. We know Miranda can run a science project, but we've never seen her lead anything in the field, let alone anything so high stakes. Garrus is the only one on the team with a proven track record of active duty, under-fire leadership skills - obviously, Miranda would have a Cerberus file which Shep would've read, as would Jacob, but their field achievements are never relevant or really mentioned in-game, whereas Archangel is mentioned in background chatter on planets halfway across the galaxy. But he doesn't volunteer, when Jack and Miranda are kicking off. If Jack is killed, he's the one who tells Miranda that half the team doesn't even trust her, but he still doesn't nominate himself as an alternative. He stays quiet and keeps his head down, and if you give him command, he just gives you a tight nod. Because he doesn't believe in his own leadership abilities anymore. He knows he got his last team killed.

By the time you meet back up with him, he hasn't lost anyone, and he's getting back into the swing of it. You've been able to hear things going well for him over the comms, and he's been checking in regularly too. And if you have him take command again, it's framed as him actually volunteering this time, and strategizing with you - "I'll take a team and do ABC..."

Shep's trust, her faith in him, the fact that she believes he is still fit to lead, gives him his confidence back. I have feelings.

#mass effect #garrus vakarian #loml

[licensed-fan-girl]

Yesssss

yes yes i love shakarian because those two just understand each other intrinsically. but i am foaming at the mouth for more cross-cultural differences that don't quite translate. i want garrus to be horrified by the idea that milk comes out of humans and babies drink it. i want shepard to be grossed out that turian parents chew up food for their babies and spit it in their mouths. i want shepard to not quite realize that when she arches her neck it's actually super suggestive and "uh babe, why are you flirting with my father like that?" "what, no, i'm just stretching." i want garrus to not 100% understand sarcasm because humans don't have subvocals and why would they ever just lie boldly like that? i want shepard to get used to the idea that turians have never once evolved to use utensils when they eat (hello? they only have three fingers?) and has to come to terms with garrus gnawing at huge chunks of blue, way too undercooked pieces of meat with his claws. i want garrus to be awestruck with the different amount of ways that humans can style their hair, and how does that not hurt? you're yanking your fringe and clipping it back? are you sure that's comfortable? i want shepard to turn her translator off every now and again so that she could hear the little chirping noises garrus makes to himself when he's concentrating. i want garrus to secretly adore watching shepard curl into chairs and twist her limbs onto couches because there's simply no way he could ever bend like that and be comfortable. i just want more.

#shakarian #shepard x garrus #mass effect #garrus vakarian

[licensed-fan-girl]

I love this! 😂😂

So anyway I think it would be funny if Garrus kept getting a bit distracted during his extensive research into human biology

Like obviously he reads the pamphlets (helpfully provided by Mordin) and watches the porn (gleefully provided by Joker) but he also does a bunch of his own extranet deep-diving because he's Like That, he's got Detective Brain, and he doesn't half-ass anything

But he knows the Normandy extranet hub is not private: Cerberus is probably spying on all of them, EDI has unrestricted systems access and a tendency to share anything she finds interesting with Joker, Legion can hack into anything, Tali likes to gossip. So, to a) avoid putting Shepard in an awkward position with the Illusive Man and b) keep his sex life private, he uses vague search terms. Human biology. Human organs. Evolution of humanity. Human reproductive cycle. Interesting facts about humans. Interspecies workplace communication.

And then he gets sidetracked. 50 Weird Facts About Humans leads him to 10 Reasons Humans Are Scary which leads him to an article about humans as persistence predators. An Overview Of Human Body Parts leads him to 5 Body Parts Humans Don't Actually Need which leads him to articles on wisdom teeth and tonsils and the appendix, which can apparently explode at random. He gets clickbaited.

And now he has all this new knowledge he finds fascinating and wants to share! So he starts doing things like telling Kelly how many bones she has, or explaining Why Humans Evolved Eyelashes at the dinner table and then asking Jack why she evolved eye hairs, but not head hairs. Or asking Jacob how tall he is, and then thoughtfully musing about how that's short for his species.

And, in Shepard's cabin, when he nervously mentions having done some research, she slinks over to get all up in his personal space in her bathtowel and asks him what he learned. At which point he panics, all the sexy one liners about sensitive spots evacuate his brain immediately, and he blurts out that according to the extranet, the anus is the first part of an infant human to develop in the womb, so, you know, when Saren said humans were a bunch of assholes he was not technically wrong

(Shepard looks at him for a minute. Like, a really long minute. Just blinking. He's fairly sure he's about to be booted into the elevator and she'll keep the wine, to get over this disastrous encounter. And then she explodes with laughter, tells him he's ridiculous, and shuts him up by kissing him, because at least someone here has her head in the game)

#mass effect #shakarian #garrus vakarian

[licensed-fan-girl]

This is so beautiful, wow!

we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. we are good people, and we’ve suffered enough

happy N7 day friends :) sorry i’m late, i forgot about tumblr

(hayden shepard and garrus, post me3)

#mass effect #n7 day #shakarian #garrus vakarian #commander shepard

[licensed-fan-girl]

Thinking about how Garrus and Shepard are not exactly public with their relationship until ME3 and then suddenly someone with a camera sees two people sitting on the presidium with a sniper rifle doing target practice and at first thinks its just two random delinquents and then they zoom in AND ITS COMMANDER FUCKING SHEPARD KISSING A TURIAN.

what a way for the world to find that out. Especially with how the citadel seems to focus on ANY news but the imminent attack by the Reapers... the Press would have a field day.

#ur so right #mass effect #shepard #garrus #shakarian

[licensed-fan-girl]

Chatting with my buddy about the Legendary Edition

[licensed-fan-girl]

happy (belated) N7 day to Them

#mass effect #femshep #commander shepard #liara t'soni #garrus vakarian #shiara #shakarian #shiarakarian