I am a little high rn so this is my incoherent rambling about Jason Todd and friends:
DC PLEASE BRING BACK EDDIE BLOOMBERG OMG!!! Bring back him and Jason being friends!!!!
You know who knows them both???? ROSE WILSON
BAM! NEW OUTLAWS RUN!! Throw in Zachary Zatara too!!!
Honestly just sever Jason from the batfamily for a little bc Iâm tired of how heâs being treated
Asian Jason Todd I <3 you!
Red head Jason Todd I <3 you!!
Jason Todd with an autopsy scar I <3 you!!!
Stop using Pit Madness as an excuse for Jasonâs actions please!! It removes his agency over his actions which is a big part of his character! (And itâs not canon)
Also something very controversial for the fanon girlies(gn):
PLEASE stop with the Jason Todd was Tim Drakeâs Robin đđ it was cute the first few times but I need you to know that was never a thing, a lot of Timâs original run was spent with him thinking (Iâm not gonna die like stupid Jason Todd) Tim is a Dick Grayson Fanboy(tm) Use that!!! Itâs fun and cute too!!
And on the subject of Dick and Tim, please stop saying Dick threatened to send Tim to Arkham when he fired him from Robin! Thereâs so much angst in that without Arkham ïżŒ
Kyle Rayner Jason Todd reunion when? Roy Harper Jason Todd reunion when?? Eddie Bloomberg reunion when???
More parallels between Steph and Jason WhenïżŒ????
Pleasepleaseplease ïżŒretire the Joker for like 10 years??
And make Two-Face the main rogue for a little bit??? I promise heâs a much better narrative foil to Bruceđ„°
Also stop making Bruce hit his kids thanks!
BRING BACK THE ALL-BLADES
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Plot armor but itâs Bruce Wayneâs wealth.
Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.
He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked â#1 worker-friendly corporationâ, and productively and profits soar again.
Ok, so clearly investing his workers isnât the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.
But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WEâs new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.
Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.
Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.
So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because theyâve been claiming all these measures heâs implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and theyâre finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyoneâs eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. Thatâll go well, right?
Gothamâs infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.
Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city isâŠ.Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gothamâs infrastructure somehow increases WEâs profits.
Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (itâs not his fault the best administrative system software is WEâhe looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.
Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.
Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.
Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. Itâs so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce canât even donate to his own charity.
But by this time, Bruce has children. If he canât get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?
Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, wonât touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and wonât legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richardâs footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruceâs wealth. And she wonât even accept a trust fund of only one million.
Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then heâs at least not have the money.
So childrenâgenerous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, childrenâare also out.
Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the worldâs superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroesâbut the public canât know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.
At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.
The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.
Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.
All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.
Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.
But by GOD is he trying.
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Itâs funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.
I want to see a sci fi universe where weâre actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.
How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldnât be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare âanimalâ races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?
Like that old story âtheyâre made of meat,â only weâre scarier.
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Tim after getting to that part where Dracula says "I too can love" to Johnathan: Wait- Is Dracula gay??
Jason, a literature nerd: What kind of vampire novel isn't gay?
Tim: *nodding* That's fair
Dick, who had a vampire phase on his teens: To be fair, if you were an immortal being who didn't care about anything but satisfying your own desires, wouldn't you at least be curious?
Dick: It's like if you had a whole ice cream stand all for yourself and you only get vanilla
Tim: Did you just compared genders to ice cream flavors?
Dick: My point still stands. I bet everyone had fantasized about someone from the same sex at least once. Right, Jason?
Jason with his face slowly turning bright red: *trying to cover his face with the book he was reading*
Dick:... Is there something you want to share with the rest of us mortals?
Jason: Not particularly, no
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