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kylosgenesis · 2 years

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@sherlokibrett this is the full one shot 😊♥️

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Oneshot

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word count: 10K

Warnings: 18+, debious consent, mentions of violence, blood, breeding kink, unprotected sex, angst, thoughts of abortion, unplanned pregnancy, humiliation.

Its not all bad! Theres a happy ending!

Summary: You were hand picked by the winter soldier, trained to be the next greatest assassin hydra had seen, till the graduation ceremony changed everything for you.

Unbeta'd: There might be some mistakes

Personal Note: Thank you guys so much for your interest in this story! I'm so happy I finally finished editing it, and feel comfortable enough to publish it. I hope you all like it!

Some descriptions during the sex scene are based out of my own experience, I hope I don't offend or upset anybody with the mention of blood.

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Year 5:

“Soldat”

The hydra agent held a pristine hard cover notebook in the crook of his elbow. They were both watched from a hidden corner at a group of small girls playing in a dark room.

The orphanage they found themselves in was one in one of the poorest villages of Russia, only a few high windows lit it up enough for it not to terrify a kid. The beds were small, and often shared by multiple girls. The toys were scarce; most of them were homemade out of household materials.

This was the perfect place to pick up someone no one will miss, and no one would wanna find!

“Have you made a choice?”

The soldat pointed at a girl smaller than the rest. She was agile at dodging her classmates, for them it was just a simple game of hide and seek and tag, but for the men watching it was an audition.

The small girls were being tested on their ability to be the next winter soldiers. Women were chosen due to their innocence! Their ability to blend in, cause damage, and leave without anyone suspecting anything from their small vulnerable bodies.

“She’s a little runt!” The hydra agent looked at the small girl with judgment, and a hint of disgust in his eyes “She’ll be dead before she even makes it”

His comment angered the blue eyed assassin, as he choked the man against the wall with his metal arm.

“Longing .... rusted” the assassins handler said in between choked breaths. The soldat came to his senses and let go. The man collapsed to the hard cement ground, and regained his breathing and composure.

“Well take her!... her training will begin effective immediately, Soldat!

The assassin didn’t know why, but he could tell she was a fighter! Just the way she looked ; in comparison to the others. She was so small, shy, and frail! Yet she wasn’t running away from a fight. She used her wits, as they watched her steal back a small worn out rabbit toy the other girls had taken from her. She reminded him so much of someone, but he couldn’t pinpoint who.

They took her to base that day! She didn’t even cry when she left the orphanage!

She just brought her only toy, and her will to survive.

Little did she know, she was ready to be molded into the perfect assassin!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

year 16

Growing up within the hydra facilities wasn’t so bad! You had food on her belly, and a place to sleep at night. That’s if you could sleep! The training session today had hit you particularly hard. You’d broken a rib! You were sure of it! Pain wasn't a strange feeling, ever since you were little, pain just came and went. Scars healed, bones sealed together eventually. She just had to suck it up, and mask away the pain in combat tomorrow again.

You trained every day, but only a select few weeks every year you’d train with him.

You didn’t know his name, but he was hydra’s prized possession. He was kept in cryo most of the time. Only taken out for missions, and the few times of the year he’d train you.

This was one of them! You were on day three, and he was not taking it easy on you. He was a super soldier with brute force, and you were just a skilled human.

While he was in cryo, you’d trained with others! A place called the red room! Their girls were the definition of skilled! They’re senses were sharp and almost unnatural, they spoke more than 8 languages to perfection! And they were beautiful! They were the deadliest delicate flowers the world has ever known. And somehow, you managed to find yourself among them a few times of the year.

Hydra kept you separate from the Black Widow program though. You were meant for different missions, hand selected by the fist of hydra. That by itself made you a lot of enemies!

Girls would injure you on purpose to show off to their superiors, life here was always a competition! Trying to prove that they should be the ones chosen instead of you, and sometimes you felt like it!

You’d leave fights bruised, bloody, and feeling pain from every crevice of your body, but you always managed to come on top! No matter what it took, you fought till your opponent couldn’t anymore, and that’s what made the Soldat favor you!

They threw girl after girl at you, and one by one you took them down! It wasn’t easy, but you did it! Instead of going to the infirmary, and calling it a night. You were thrown yet again in combat, but with the Soldat!

He had watched you fight the black widows, studied your moves! He had no hesitation in showing you where you went wrong!

He never spoke! But his body language spoke for him. He was confident! Didn’t hesitate to throw you in your ass, and kick you across the room, which is why you were training with him! He was taunting you! He knew you were injured, and tired, yet he was trying to get a fight out of you!

With everything you had, you lunged your body at him at full force.Your height difference helped you easily climb in his shoulders, and repeatedly bang on his head. It didn’t immobilize him, but it distracted him enough for you to pull a knife out of your pocket, and stab into one of the plates in his metal arm. The malfunction caused sparks to fly, and the Soldat threw you of him into the hard ground. Hydra agent’s burst into the room, and surrounded you both.He was retired from the room escorted by a small squadron.You on the other hand were left there on the floor, forced to carry your weak body to your room, and stitch yourself up as best as you could.

You had to fight him tomorrow again, and you knew he’d be back with a vengeance. Especially after knowing you found a weak spot through his metal arm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

year 17

It was your first mission out! Hydra, and the Soldat were going to infiltrate a United Nations meeting! The location was kept top secret for security purposes, but hydra has a way of infiltrating themselves everywhere.

You rode on a large military cargo vehicle! It blended in with the military personnel, and you could see the movement of people in camouflage uniforms and combat boots. The Soldat was staring at you the whole way, both of you dressed to blend in. His usually masked face had been shaven clean and smooth! His shoulder length hair was slicked back into a small ponytail, hidden by the collar of the fake uniform. You could only see it if you really paid attention.

You always wondered why they kept his hair the way it was, it just wasn’t practical! You knew by the way your hair was braided neatly when you had to train. It hid your beautiful long hair, but hydra kept it long so you could blend in easier on missions. It allowed you to hide your scars, or for you to be dolled up to perfection on the occasional political outings you participated in.

Many times you’d found yourself pinned down by the Soldat, his knee between your legs, and beads of sweat dripping from his hair, making it appear wet. His face inches from yours where you could feel the heat of his breath, and the wetness of his hair on your face.

The thought made you weak at the knees, a light sense of wetness in between your tights as you pictured him!

You were woken out of your thoughts by the sudden jerk the vehicle made while stopping. The hydra soldiers stepped out, and the Soldat followed. You trailed behind the Soldat ! Your job was to retrieve security files kept in maximum security, his job was to make sure no one got in your way!

The mission was successful! Only two casualties! For hydra people where expandable, they would just send their families a check and keep em set up and shut up for the rest of their lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dawn of year 18

You’d forgotten what day it was, quite honestly you didn’t care much to begin with.

A birthday was just another year! But this year was different, turning 18 in hydra would mean your future would be unpredictable.

You woke up scared! Thoughts of being wheeled into the surgical suite like the Black Widows where. That was what they all got for their birthdays! The hope of a family and a different life away from them. The KGB thought that if you took out the options, you were left with an empty shell that’s willing to kill without feeling.

You waited, but no one bothered you that day! You almost wondered if the orphanage might have given them the wrong information. But you’ve had doctors visits before, and they’ve mentioned your birth date.

It all just seemed strange, like it was too good to be true.

As you walked into your quarters that day after a hard hay of training you saw a group of agents outside your door. You recognized some by sight, but it was the fact that the Soldat handler was waiting for you outside your door, that made your body start to shake.

You couldn’t run away now. They’d seen you! You had no choice; but to walk towards them , and mask the fear that crept over your body.

“It’s time for your graduation!”

You stood there confused as you looked at this man. He was in charge of you as well! He was the one who took you out of the orphanage that day, but he focused more on the Soldat that he did you. You got tutors and teachers, you never had to see him except for the few times you trained with his prized weapon.

“This is why you trained with the best women in the world! All leading up to this moment...” the machiavellian smile leaning his lips like a disgusting kink of his was about to become a reality.

“Don’t look so scared! The first time is always painful!” You snapped your head and faced the door rather than him. You knew what was behind! This was your test!

“Seduction is a big part of your job!” He had crept closer to you while the shock of what’s about to happen dawns on you. You felt his finger caress the nook of your back, and trace its way down your butt. The touch itself made you many to fight, but just like everyone who worked for hydra. You were a pet! If you refused, retaliated, or fought back. You were dead! Another one would take your place, while your body rots away in an unmarked grave.

“Be glad I’m giving you a good looking one, and not a slimy old politician who can’t get it up” he laughed as he took your chin in his hand, and squeezed your face to face him.

“He has orders to give confirmation in the morning...”

He looked into your eyes “ So don’t be getting shy on us, you can make a mess if you want!”

Finishing with that he opened the latch on your door, and shoved your body inside. Meeting no resistance from your part, the door closed behind you! You could hear the armed guards come back into position guarding the door.

The Soldat was in the room with you, you could feel him, before you saw him in the chair next to your bed. He was still in his leather uniform, blood splatters on his face. He must’ve just come down from a mission.

You debated whether approaching him was the better idea, you still didn’t know how willing he was to participate in this. You yourself could feel your whole body shake, and your lips quivered in fear as you walked towards him.

Your teeth must’ve been making a rattling noise walking towards him, your whole body overcome by shivers! The Soldat stood up from the seat, and strode towards you, both meeting in the middle. You could tell there was fear in his eyes, killing came easy for him, but this was brand new territory for both of you. You could feel his body dym light that came from the room, as he towered over you. You were too scared to look up at him.

you reached out towards the zipper in your suit with shaky hands, trying to keep them steady enough to hear the noise of the opening metal. The Soldat stopped you! It was clear to you he’d be the one in charge, and even if you wanted to be, you were too scared to move!

You just closed your eyes and waited for his next move!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soldat's POV

He stood behind you, your body shaking in fear, and knees weak. He noticed where your hand was still positioned in place, holding the zipper to your training bodysuit.

The suit was a navy color, made out of a soft spandex material! It marked every curve of your body. He'd noticed you’d started to look different the last few times he’d been out of the ice. What felt like a few weeks for him, were years for you. Your hair was longer, your breasts were bigger, and your hips had expanded to show your body’s transition to adulthood.

You weren't the child he picked out all those years ago, yet it didn’t make him feel better about what was going to happen between you.

Your body shaking told him it was wrong! That he shouldn’t proceed with this; but the programming at the back of his head had him hard at the sight of your ass. He pushed himself closer to you where his throbbing member was rubbing against your firm ass, still in his pants. He lowered down the zipper with ease, and slowly exposed your back to him. The soft curves of your body were starting to be at his full display. He had to push down the bodysuit when the opening stopped right above the dimples on your back. The suit fell to the ground exposing your body to him! You were just wearing a simple pair of back underwear, and a bra that provided support rather than looks, but he could already feel himself leaking through his underwear.

He could feel you tense up the moment the cold air touched your exposed skin. He doesn’t know what undying overcame him, but he kissed the back of your neck as he removed the bra, and exposed your breast to him. He massaged them gently as he continued to trail kisses down your spine. You tried pulling your underwear down yourself, but he pushed away your hand in resistance. He turned your body around to face him, already on his knees! He pushed you towards him, and supported your body as he lifted your leg up to lay over his shoulder. You were still scared, but the enhanced senses the serum gave him told him that your body was reacting to him. He could smell your arousal, even if you were still trying to look away from him. Your body wanted more!

He laid a trail of sloppy kisses through your inner thigh, and stopped at your center. He could see her juices seep through your panties, he used his tongue to pull aside the soft material, and lick your folds gently. Growing annoyed with the barrier separating him, and your sweetness he effortlessly ripped out the material, going in for a more hungry taste of you. You were squirming underneath his tongue, your body tightening up, and your leg gripping tightly to his shoulder pushing his face towards you. Your moans informed him of your approaching climax, and with a few last hungry licks, you came undone! Your body collapsing on him.

He picked up your body, still facing your dripping folds, and dropped you on the bed. You were still in the high of your climax! He could tell your body had relaxed to him, but the worst part was not over yet. He knew it would hurt, especially if you weren't relaxed! Even though he just wanted to pounce into you right then, and there, he could see the tears strolling down your face. The resistance in your mind, but willingness in your body.

Was this even consent? He could feel a voice knocking at the back of his head telling him to stop. It cried out! Wanting to be in charge, but the other side of his mind was a predator. It wanted you! Wanted you squirming naked under him, as he fucked you senseless, and filled you up.

He was still fully clothed! He started stripping off his armored uniform. Little by little clinks of metal and leather hit the floor as he rid himself of the constraints on his uniform. You watched attentively as he took off the last barrier between you and him. It sprung out immediately! Your eyes filled with fear when you saw him, closing yourself off to him again.

He climbed on top of you. Like other times in combat, he used his knee to spread apart your legs, and hold you down. Only this time it wasn’t just to end a fight, there was a sexual nature to this position.

You could feel him rubbing on your thigh, his juices were leaking small trains in your inner leg as he hovered above you.

He lowered his face to place a chaste kiss on your lips, seeing how you’d respond to him. It was one kiss at first, but soon turned into more, and more as you opened up to the intrusion of his tongue, tasting yourself on his lips. He could tell you were getting ready for him, the wetness of you was soaking unto his leg, as you grinded on him when he deepened the kiss.

He was careful to distract you with kisses, while he spread your legs little by little with his metal arm. Positioning himself at your entrance, and coating himself up and down with your juices, till you responded to him! Your hips following his tip, wanting to be entered. He tried making the transition easy for you, as he slowly entered you, you cried in pain. The pain got worse as he ripped through the tight barrier that was preventing him to enter fully. He stopped moving, staying steady on top of you.

“I'm sorry!” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your checks soaked in new and dried tears. He met your eyes, and could tell you were reverting back to closing again.

“Shhhh... please relax for me!” He whispered, his lips leaving kisses along your cheeks, and stopping at the crook of your neck.

It could’ve been over then! He would have slipped off you, leaving behind a blood soaked sheet, and still given his handler the satisfaction. But he had a selfish need to enjoy it! Deep down this was the most human thing he’d felt in years.

“Move ... please ” your hips bucked up waiting for him to motion. He thrusted slowly at first. The tightness within you making it hard for him not to finish within the next 3 strokes. As he moved, he felt the wetness between your legs return. You winced at some of his movements, but after a while the pain felt good. You were moving your hips in response to his thrusts, his pace getting faster, and steadier! You were trying to suppress your moans, but he could hear them. Even if faint if still awoke something carnal in him, to claim!

He could feel your muscles begin to tighten around him, you were getting so close to your climax. He was enjoying every moan, and jerk your body made in response to him. Your high came with your legs gripping tight around his ass as he pushed himself to his own release. He could feel webs of suppressed cum coating your walls. He collapsed on top of you after his release, the high of his climax draining him. Sweat poured down your bodies, the shock of what just happened evident on your eyes.

Guilt! That was all he felt now! 5 minutes ago he was having an out of body experience, and now he felt like a monster. He had tainted you! It wasn’t under his control, but he still did it, and worst of all enjoyed it!

He slowly pulled out of you, you winced at the exit of his intrusion, yet you just remained there. Silent, shocked, just frozen in time!

He walked over to your adjoining bathroom, and gathered a washcloth with some warm water. He approached you as you lay limp. Moving you like a marionette, he cleaned the blood, juices, and cum between your legs.

You looked broken!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

There’s walls; all white, no door, just light! A little girl rocks herself to sleep in a corner, an old man approaches. He offers his hand, and she takes it!

Snapping out of the nightmare, you looked around your room. Everything was dark, only small glimpses of light coming from under the door, the clock, and the lamp in the corner. You saw him on the chair, already dressed again, but sound asleep! You thought back to the events of a few hours ago. You must’ve passed out from shock! Your thighs felt sore, and your core felt raw. You slowly lifted yourself up to use the bathroom, wincing at the sting of touching down there.

When you stepped out of the bathroom, the Soldat was already up. Out of the corner of your eye you felt and saw the door to the room opening. The sudden realization that you were still naked dawned on you. Light crept in from the hallway, and soon soldiers were inside of your room. The handler entered last, you grabbed the nearest bedsheet for modesty. Wrapping it around your body, even if you’d already been exposed at your most vulnerable a few seconds ago.

The handler stepped in front of the Soldat!

“Mission report!”

The Soldat went back to his robotic nature, no emotions behind his eyes, only compliance! He walked towards you, and motioned at the sheet covering your body. You’d been too fast grabbing it to notice; that covering you was a painting display of the events of last night. A combination of blood, and dried up cum coated the sheets wrapped around you. Making you feel humiliated once again, everybody now knew that you’d laid with him.

You even wondered what you’d done wrong to deserve this. The girls in the red room felt pride talking about their first conquest, there was such a sexually liberating part of being a widow you didn’t understand. You enjoyed the fighting, but the thought of meddling with dirty old men for information made you uneasy.

The soldiers escorted the Soldat out of the room. Leaving you behind with the handler still holding tight to your bloody sheet, and holding on to every once of your being not to cry.

“Well done! Minina “ he approached you, and caressed your cheek, a motion you wanted to slap out of him.

“Consider yourself graduated! You have outdone yourself! He let go, and clapped! A sinister laugh leaving his lips.

“You will begin your first solo missions Monday! Till then rest... we need you strong and healthy don’t we? ” he walked towards the door, and left.

Once he left the room you finally had time to process, and cry, and you cried so much!

For your parents, who left you at the orphanage cause they couldn’t afford to feed you! For the innocent little girl that caught hydra’s eye! For the years of training, and pain! The childhood that was quickly swept away, and replaced with tutors, and lastly for your freedom!

You were now hydra! A soldier to shape history, whether you wanted to or not. You could either do your job, or hydra would make sure to never let you see the light of day again.

So you choose to put it aside! Forget about your innocence!

“Hail hydra!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 months later

You stepped into the small gas station’s bathroom still covered in blood from your last mission. The victims were just 25! College kids in a dorm room, coming up with a pitch to the head of their department for funding into their cure for cancer.

They’d had a huge success rate among the volunteers, and all the animals they tested on had a guarantee of survival! And there you were, making sure that cure never got out! Hydra couldn’t let it!. Cancer profited so many people, hydra opted to erase all traces of a cure. There was a reason why there were super soldiers out there, but children still saying goodbye too soon. A bar shooting gone wrong, Gone too soon! Just two of the 10 people caught in the crossfire, that’s the way hydra staged it. The shooting suspect was shot on scene! That’s the way the dirty cops within the precinct took the victory ! Service to their community, and a medal for “ heroic behavior.”

You were losing your humanity more every day! Dried blood still on your knuckles, while staring at the small plus sign on that little plastic stick.

You discreetly disposed of it in the bathroom. Washing as much of the blood off you as you could on the small sink, and washing away all emotions! You hopped on your motorcycle, and headed towards the airport where there’d be a hydra plane waiting to return you to the cold base you’ve called home all these years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soldats POV

You both arrived at the same time! You'd been on different missions.

You sat across from him in the car, he hadn’t seen your face since that day. They’d just fried his brain, and threw him back into the freezer. It had been three months since he last was awake! He could tell by the newspaper on the street on his way to his mission.

You avoided eye contact, but he was never the most sentimental guy to begin with. He noticed you looked different though. You had bags under her eyes, your hair no longer hung the way it used to, you’d lost weight! The apples of your cheeks were defined, and your eyes looked full of sadness.

He was grateful to not remember all the people, killing was a memory to his muscles. Read the file, track, and kill! Simple as that! You were living with all the things you'd done.

When the vehicle came to a stop you sped out! You didn’t wait for anyone, you just ran!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

You’d had almost 24 hours to process, still a part of you wanted to throw it to the back of your head, and forget it! A baby! You were pregnant... carrying a child while working for hydra.

You hadn’t allowed yourself to cry much since that night, but that day you sobbed! There was no way you could have a child here. You didn’t know much about pregnancy! The red room wasn’t too worried about their girls, they had birth control figured out! All you knew was from the little glimpses of medical knowledge you had.

It took 9 months, and it’s been three since your night with the Soldat. The calculations brought back painful memories you tried pushing away.

You had to get away, and fast! Hydra was notorious for random health checks, if they found out, they would not let you out of their sight! The golden goose that’s pregnant with a super soldier’s baby. This baby would be trained to kill, and to be a weapon. Just like his dad ... just like you!

You let the tears fall, a hand on your stomach. you haven’t changed much! In fact you looked skinnier than ever. That would mean you’d start showing soon.

Did you even want this? You had never seen a baby, let alone knew how to care for one. You started to think it would be best if you just took things into your hands, no one would find out! You could either get hit too hard, or just a simple accident.

You couldn’t bring a child into this world, he’d be forever a target! you didn’t want your child to suffer the same way you did and to check blood the way you do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You started being more reckless on missions! You had no problem being thrown around like a rag doll. If you could purposely run into the line of fire you would!

Hydra noticed your reports were getting messier, and messier. You just hoped that they wouldn’t catch on to your plan, though it was hard to not go to the infirmary. You had more cuts, and bruises, than before!

When they handed your latest mission file, you studied it carefully! A recon mission for a kidnapped hydra agent. As you studied the file you noticed the Soldat. He had been out of cryo for a few days now, but you’d yet to see him till now.

“When I do I leave Sir?” You asked the commanding officer as you handed the mission file back.

“You’ll both leave at dawn! You’ve been getting sloppy! The Soldat is gonna make sure you stay in line. We got too much depending on this, and with elections coming up the world doesn’t need hydra to be exposed because you messed up!”

“From now on you’ll only go on missions with him, he’ll report back to me. Maybe he can whip you back into shape! “

“Yes, sir!” you nodded in acceptance as you walked back into the facility.

The last thing you needed was him following your every move, the Soldat was not dumb! He’d realize sooner, or later. You just hoped later was once you’d been successful, and free from hydra.

Dawn came soon, and you both boarded the jet. He piloted, you copiloted! There was a steady plan for the mission, no room for error! Unbeknownst to him you were gonna try to make as many errors happen as you could.

The jet had been in the air for an hour or two, and you started feeling sick. Morning sickness hadn’t been a huge part of your pregnancy till recently, it came, and went fast. But it happened to also have the worst timing.

You stood up as fast as you could, and ran to get something to empty your stomach in. He put the jet on autopilot as he followed your moves. You hadn't had a weak stomach on any other missions! He just studied you, as you composed yourself and went back into your copiloting position. You couldn’t let him know how truly nauseous you actually where, if you played it he’d he’d just think it was just motion sickness.

He landed the jet in a nearby thick strip of forest! Great for camouflage, but horrible to find if you’re being shot at. You knew that by experience! You preferred an easy escape, while the Soldat was all about being calculating, and stealthy.

The mission went so wrong! The place was packed with soldiers, most of them agents of Shield. They had their dirty workers, but these were not on your team. They fought back, and hard! You landed a few hard blows to your stomach a couple of times, not that you where necessary avoiding them. The Soldat noticed that! A move you’d practiced on him dozens of times effortlessly, resulted in you getting hit hard. He practically had to fight people off of you.

They relocated the prisoner, and the mission was a failure, you’d both have to return to base empty handed. You’d get off with a slap on the wrist, but the Soldat had it worse! They’d wipe his mind! You’d heard his screams before, they used to be the sounds in your nightmares, but then you got used to them. Every time it happened, it meant he was back from a mission.

“What happened out there?” You had probably heard him talk three times before this!

You laid down on the floor of the jet, back against the wall as you took deep breaths trying to recover.

“Too many of them!” was all you could mutter to say while avoiding eye contact with him.

“Bullshit!”

You’d seen him fight in combat, but otherwise he was pretty much emotionless, but this time he was furious! He picked your small frame up, and pinned you against the wall looking at every detail in your face. You could feel him carrying the weight on your body in his hands. His fist balled up, and was about to collide next to you, when all of a sudden he stopped! His eyes widened in shock! Like he’d seen a ghost! Metal hand still holding on to you, his flesh one made a way to your stomach. You could see the hurt in his eyes. He let go of you! Careful as if not to break you. You laid there for hours after he went back to piloting. He knew your biggest secret and soon all of hydra would too!

You returned to base, ready to be met with a team of soldiers ready to restrain you, and lock you up for the next 6 months.To your surprise it was just another day. He hadn’t told anybody! He took the blame for the mission's failure too! You walked past a room with a small glass opening, peeking in, you saw him! He was gripping on to the mouth guard, suppressing screams. You noticed his cheek red from the disciplinary slap he’d received when they ordered a full mission report, and they could tell he was reframing from details.

You didn’t know why he’d go through all that for you, you were raised to not have emotions yet here you where. Feeling something for the man who had put you in this position.

That night you snuck out into the soldiers quarters, he lay there peacefully in cryo. The room was full of medical equipment! It was cold and sterile! Just like your room, it had no windows. Right in the centre was the chair you recognized from the other day, it produced electrical currents to why people his memory. On the corner was a desk scattered with papers .

Most of them were useless! Blueprints to his arm, random medical reports, but neatly tucked into the bottom of the cabinet was a small file. A paper clip on the top held an old picture of a young smiling soldier. You tucked the file in your back, using the high rise of your pants to keep the file fastened, as you headed to your quarters. If you were unfortunate enough to bump into someone you could just say you were headed to the gym.

Back at your quarters you opened the file, your finger caressing the fine lines of the you d mans smile. You recognized him, but this was the man you knew. You knew a weapon, a robot, this was a person!

Sargent James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th. The file contained his draft papers. You read he’d been a sniper, skilled before he even wound up with hydra. A picture of him with Steve Rogers slipped out of the file, you observed the two men. You’d heard of Steve Rogers, the man to put an end to hydra for a few years.

Society called him a hero for his acts, little did they know that hydra still managed to rebuild it under their noses.

His death certificate was in there too! Killed in combat, the details were spared, but you were putting more and more pieces of his history together.

The rest were notes from a man called Armin Zola. He was a doctor of hydra, known for his experiments. There were notes of his experiments on the Soldat leading up to a year prior to his “death.”

A mixture of serums were injected into his bloodstream, but only one was successful. He was rescued before Zola could document his results. The next entry was from the alps. The Soldat was found by a soldier, missing his left arm. The serum, and the cold kept him in pristine condition for Zola to pick up where he left off years later.

You put the file down, tears running down your eyes! He was a victim just like you where, he didn’t want any of this as much as you did. Almost 100 years old, and he’s only lived so little of it!

“James” you whispered his name out loud, your hand going to your stomach. Even if you didn’t know how to be a mom you’d try your best. You had to escape her, your child away from all of this. Give it the life you, and James never got to have!

You were determined to leave this place once and for all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The plotting began! You were hoping you’d get assigned a mission soon, that would give you an advantage to your escape. You’d never get far running away on the Siberian tundra, but in a big city it was easier to drop out of the face of the earth.

The opportunity came a few days later, the handler assigned you a case in DC, you were flying out in a few hours. Getting up on the jet you found a complication to your plans. The jet was full of soldiers, and the Soldat! It wouldn’t just be you! After a few hours in the air, you were instructed to do a parachute landing. Everybody was busy tightening up their parachutes to notice the Soldat had walked towards you. He took a parachute from the pile, but instead of putting it on himself, he motioned it to you. You put a leg through each of the holes, and he tightened it up. Tugging at it making sure it wouldn’t come undone.

As people got ready to jump out, and the adrenaline of the moment caught up with them, it left you two a few seconds of being invisible to their eyes. He caresses your stomach gently with his finger as he fastened the last lips of the parachute up. A motion that remained unnoticed to everyone else, but you felt his touch lingering in slow motion. It wasn’t much, but his body language was trying to protect you! The parachute was to make sure you were safe, and his eyes told you he was worried.

“You’re up next!”

The agent's voice snapped both of you out of your bubble. You walked over to the chute, and looked down. The DC night lights filming into view. As the countdown started “ you exchanged a glance with the Soldat. Both of you nodding and jumping off!

The fall was short, and better than other times you’ve had to jump out. The Soldat landed pretty close to you! He helped you take off and dispose of the parachute in the nearby bushes.

Coming close the beautifully lit up building you two stopped to scope out the premises. The target in your mission was a very well guarded politician. It was a very public black tie affair, filled with celebrities, politicians, and reporters all dressed to impress. That’s why it had taken so many people to make this mission successful! Under your flight suits you guys were dressed to blend in. The Soldat was to remain behind the scenes, so he wore his usual leather suit. Making it easier for him to blend into the darkness of the night.

One wrong move, and you guys would have a lot more to cover than hydra would like. Hydra wanted to make it seem like a crime a suicide, no witnesses! Just a clean job, but getting past all security was the hard part.

Taking your suit off you exposed a beautiful satin black gown with a slit on both sides of your legs. The dress was modest, but left little to the imagination at the same time. You took the heels out of your bag and steadied yourself!

The Soldat couldn’t take his eyes off you the entire time you changed. Loosening your hair up so it cascaded through your back you were ready to enter the party, the Soldat reached for your arm, and held you put for a moment.

You had become better at reading his looks, this was one that says be careful!

You two parted ways! Your mission was to get the politician alone! Then the Soldat would come in and finish the job. You just had to flirt with him, and ask him to go to a more private spot. The press tried pinning him as a do no evil family man, but hydra knew he was a notorious ladies man.

You would have no problem getting him to follow you!

You entered the party with a fake invitation hydra provided you. A large chandelier hung in the center and waiters with champagne waited right next to the doors to offer you a glass. You took one in hand, and walked confidently towards the centre of the room.

You never sipped on the champagne! You just kept it around to look less suspicious.

The politician was at the bar, you confidently walked towards it.

You immediately knew the role you’d play to get him alone.

“Excuse me! Is this seat taken ?” You tapped him in the shoulder, and he almost choked on his drink when he saw you.

“No... no, not for a beautiful thing like you!” He was eye fucking you, and you could feel it!

You sat down exposing your leg from under the slip, emanating confidence.

He motioned at the bartender to come ” Anything that the lady wants to drink is on me!” he winked at you

“Bourbon please!” you ordered

“She drinks too, can she be more perfect!”

He had his hand on your knee, and you could feel it start to creep up, you cleared your throat

“Don’t you just hate how crowded these things are?”

You said as you pretended to take a sip of the bourbon the bartender placed in front of you

The man took this as an invitation! “I know a place where we can get to know each other without as many... he looked around the room ” people”

“Ohhh... if that wouldn’t be too much trouble” you were standing up, he stretched out his hand to help you out your seat.

“But what about your security?” You held close to him, and he grabbed your ass as you two walked through the crowd towards the elevator. His touch made you want to vomit, but you had a role to play.

“They’re not strangers to this sorta thing” he winked at you “ I do it all the time, best thing is they never tell my wife!” He waved at the guard as you two walked towards the glass elevator.

Once the lavatory stopped he started to get more handsy as he led you towards an office. The office was a large conference room, but with the push of a button exposed a secret room.

He was slipping out his jacket about to grope you again when you heard the faint sound of a silencer and he dropped to the ground. The Soldat came to frame behind him.

Blood was spreading in a puddle around the man's body.

You stared at the Soldat in shock! This wasn’t how you were supposed to do things. The bodyguard had seen you come up here with him! He’d come looking for him soon and you’d be the first suspect.

The Soldat realized the error of his way. He had been impulsive. He’d watched the man grope ,and touch you. He couldn’t stand him putting another hand on you! Jealousy clouded his mission! he wanted to protect you, and he just put you in more danger!

He grabbed you and quickly made a run for it with you. You two weren’t two hallways away when lights went off, and sirens started blasting. His security must’ve found him! All doors and windows were locked down. You two were running out of time, you headed towards the roof. You heard guards, and the sound of gunshots in the background. It seems like trying to keep things on the down low, always ending up in a shootout.

You two made it safely to the roof, the Soldat took a metal pipe and bent it through the lock. Trying to stop them, and buy you some time.

You could hear the banging on the door, as they tried to kick it open. The roof had no safe ways down, the Soldat was grabbing his head in frustration. He let out loud groans, as he tried to come up with a plan.

The Potomac! He could shield you if you two jumped, but he didn’t know how deep or shallow it was. The pipe started to let out, and he had to think fast.

As the door opened, he motioned you to run towards him. He picked you up, and ran backwards with you still in his arms.You noticed he was trying to collect momentum. Then he ran towards the edge, holding into you as you both dropped over a 100 ft towards the body of water. He shielded your body from the impact of the water from under you, and you both felt your bodies be swallowed by the water.

You swam as low as you could, to prevent people from following your trail through the water.

Feeling safe, you two came up to the surface, and swam towards shore. You both were heavily breathing and trying to come down from the adrenaline rush.

You could hear police sirens in the background, and helicopters scoping the area. Soon there would be too many cops to escape!

The Soldat turned on his distress signal. His handler would know where to find him, and you both could get away.

After a few minutes his handler showed up along with a few of the other agents, you followed them back to their vehicles. Some unmarked black range rovers, they’d blend right in considering they were the preferred security vehicle in the city.

They separated you, and the Soldat, a move that seemed to give you an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, but was smart! You had a better chance of spreading throughout the city, and staying low until you could both be flown out. Your vehicle came to an abrupt stop, the agents that were with you motioned you to exit with them. Thinking nothing of it, you followed them. Sirens sounding louder and closer and flashing red and blue lights came into your view. Behind you were two well armed agents, and in front where three police vehicles, backup surely following.

You’d been set up! That’s why hydra sent you! You got too sloppy, and they needed a way to get rid of you. What better way to make sure you rotted away from their plans, than to frame you as an enemy of the state.

Staying still, and raising your hands in the air, you awaited till the officer approached you. And then you fought! You were a highly trained assassin, it wasn’t hard to overpower the cops. The hydra agents were different tho, they used brute force. After getting a hold of one of their guns you shot them dead, and made a run for it!

Time was not in your hands! The people you thought would protect you wanted you locked up or dead. You had no backup, no help. The only option was run, and fight.

You looked at your surroundings and saw a motorcycle. Hot wiring vehicles had become second hand to you, this one was no different. You rode through the darkest parts of the city at night, almost making out of the city of DC, sunlight was creeping in the sky as you reached the edge. Cop cars in every corner, waiting for you. You tried turning around, but not before you were spotted.

You were shot with a dart, you didn’t go down immediately, but you could feel your knees give out from under you. Collapsing to the ground. Your body unable to move, but your mind still fully awake.

Men in military uniform put you up in the back of a military grade vehicle, surrounded by armed men watching your every move, while you were still handcuffed and limp. Bracing yourself for whatever was to happen to you.

The vehicle stopped.

A one of the men with you radios the driver “ everything okay up there? What’s the holdup?” The radio made a beep as he was finished talking. Silence from the other line.

“ You copy? Everyth...” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before a metal arm ripped open the back doors of the van. Men immediately opened fire and one by one dropping dead.

You could see him, but you couldn’t reach out to him or even talk. You were completely paralyzed!

He ran towards you and scooped you up in his arms. Your eyes were the only thing that could respond to him. He didn’t say anything as he carried you out. He laid you down in the backseat of a car, you imagined just like you he’d probably stolen it.

Was he on the run from the cops too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He glanced at you through the rear view mirror every few minutes, your body started to regain mobility. Just your hands at first then you were able to feel your arms, your legs were still waking up though.

You stayed in silence for most of the ride, he gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove.

“We’re almost there!”

He was the first one to speak! You looked out the changing scenery and noticed despite the fact it was now night time you had crossed a few states. After crossing the state of New York, you realized he was heading north. He was probably trying to get to Canada.

“Thank you!” It was the only words you could manage. I

It had been a rough 72 hours! You’d been shot at, thrown from a building, beat up, and drugged. Your emotions soon turned into consciousness, what about your baby? Your arms wrapped around your stomach as tears covered your face, too scared to even know if there was nothing there anymore.

The Soldat noticed your tears, and his eyes followed your body all the way to the hands on your belly. He’d been too caught up in the adrenaline of reacting you to check. He pulled over in a small detour on the side of the road. The area was surrounded by trees, once the vehicle was off, no one would notice the black car. He stepped out of the driver's seat and climbed onto the back. Your body still in shock, he crept his hand above your crossed ones over your stomach. The motion woke you up from the trance, as he lifted your hands up enough for him to put his palm over your lower stomach.

Very often he hated the abilities the serum gave him, the super strength, the smells, the enhanced hearing. His abilities made him a hunter! He could hear the harsh breathing of his victims, and their fast beating hearts as he made the kill. He could also tell when someone was lying. Then his handler said, you’d be alright as you entered the vehicle he knew you were in danger. He had fought his way out of the vehicle, even as the handler used his trigger words, he just ran faster and faster, till he found you!

He rubbed small circles with his thumb over your stomach, focusing on the sounds. Your heartbeat was overpowering any noise he was trying to pick up, but very faintly in the background a little heart was still beating strong.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, a smile creeping up on his lips. You’d never seen that smile before, but only on a picture. You never thought you’d get to see it person.

You relaxed! His smile was an affirmation that your baby was okay, and everything was going to be alright.

You both feel asleep like that, his hand still on you and you snuggled up next to him.

The next morning the drive to the border took only an hour. It dawned on you that there was no way you’d be crossing legally! You couldn’t! You had no passport, no money, and not to mention you were a fugitive!

He drove into a nearby port. You knew it was a shared body of water between the US and Canada, you exited the car, and looked around as the Soldat closed the door behind you. You walked over to a fishing boat, the Soldat communicated with who you assumed was the captain of the boat in French.

The captain and his crew were finishing up loading the boat. As he motioned for you to get in. You walked towards the deck. Once on board the Soldat, gave you an envelope. You both sat comfortably in the cabin, making yourself comfortable for the trip.

“I forgot something! Stay here!” He rose up from your side, giving your stomach a gentle pat while he steadied himself. He’d taken to doing that more often! And you felt safe when he did! giving you a reassuring look as he left the cabin, you relaxed and waited.

The boat started swaying, you instantly stood up and ran towards the boats deck. The boat was indeed taking off, now a good swim away from shore. You noticed the car was gone, and so was he!

“We have to go back,” you yelled. One of the crew held you from jumping off, you tried shaking your way out of his grip “Please! ... take me back!” Your body collapsed to the floor as tears left your face.

“He gave us orders not to take you back! No matter what happened!” The captain kneeled behind you, and placed a hand on your shoulder as you let out a painful sobs, slowly turning into a scream.

“I'm sorry miss!” The crew gave you your space, but you still had someone holding you. as the boat got farther and farther away from shore, it was evident you wouldn’t try to jump out.

Everyone had retired to their quarters for the night. You got up after hours of being in the same position on the deck. Staring at the horizon, hoping he’d be there. You returned to the cabin, noticing the envelope he’d given you earlier. Opening the envelope a few hundred dollars fell out, a paper with some coordinates, and a letter.You picked up the money, and set it aside along with the coordinates. Getting yourself comfortable you opened the letter.

I'm sorry it had to be this way! With me your life would never stop being in danger! Please enjoy this second chance. I’m sorry for the life I brought you into, I hope this will earn me your forgiveness.

The coordinates will take you to an abandoned hydra facility, they left enough behind for both of you to start a new life.

I hope we never cross paths again, because I can’t trust my mind to protect you if I do.

J~~~

The handwriting in the letter got messier as he went on. Signed by a faint J followed by scribbles.Almost like he was forgetting pieces of himself as he wrote. You traced your finger through the barely legible J. You knew exactly what it meant! James... that little J was the last piece of humanity he had left to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Years later

After arriving in Canada, you stayed till winter was over. Little James was born on a cold January morning as you had labored for 72 hours.The pain was well worth it when you saw his full cheeks, and icy blue eyes, just like his father! He had you wrapped around his finger since that first look. Every doubt that you had about being a mom and leaving everything you knew began to exit your mind.

All you cared about was him!

When it was hot enough, and you felt safe to relocate, you found refuge on an island in the Caribbean. The locals were kind, and little Jamie immediately dazzled some grandmas with his smile, and charming blue eyes. Needless to say, you never had a need for a babysitter!

You were in the back of your shop kneeling some dough, little Jamie sat at the corner table reading the hobbit, patiently waiting till you were closed for the day. You worried about bringing him to work at first, but he loved it! He would read, or work on homework, while you took care of the store.

When you first started your bakery you had no idea what you were doing. You picked it up as a hobby, and because James really liked his sweets! It was a good thing the super wordier in him metabolized fast, or else he’d be in a perpetual sugar rush. You had now owned the shop for a few years, and had a few employees, but today you just chose to work by yourself. Just going back and forth between the front, and back of the store.

The store was cozy! It has some tables, and a vintage ambiance. It was originally an antique shop that shared rent with a bar. You chose to buy bot, and keep the best out of both places.

You heard the bell ring!

Leaving the kneading behind! You headed over to the front counter. Flour all over your hands , and elbows, you patted your hands dry on your apron. Keeping your head low as you stepped through the door that divided the kitchen from the front.

“I’m so sorry about the wait...”

As you rise your head up your heart neatly sunk to the pit of your stomach! You must’ve looked like you’d seen a ghost, because James came running towards you! His still small body hugging your legs, and facing the man that stood in front of you.

He now sported a short haircut, a little bit of stubble surrounded his face, but his expressive blue eyes remained the same. You looked at those eyes every day in your son, and now they were in front of you again.

He was still the same as when you last saw him, hydra had been exposed after you left! You never knew what became of him after that. A part of you panicked, remembering he might not be here as himself. He could very much be here on a mission. You pushed your son behind your body In a defensive stance.

“I don’t do that anymore!” He looked hurt by your automatic response.

He looked scared, like he’d say or do the wrong thing. After years of having someone in his head, you’d imagine it was tough for him to try to be himself.

Despite the fact it was summer in the Caribbean he sported a long sleeve t-shirt, and gloves. You remembered his metal arm! Deep down you knew, he probably thought he scared people , whenever they saw his arm. This was his way of blending in.

You saw him looking at your son, very much his own blood. He studied the little details in his face, the way you’d let his hair a little long. He was teary eyed! Before the water works could start, you pulled your son from his deep embrace of your leg, and knelt down to his level.

“Jamie...” you tucked a little loose strand of hair behind his ear as your son looked between you and the man. “ this is a friend, his name is James too! ” you locked eyes with the man you once knew only as Soldat “ I named you after him!”

You looked at James soft eyes with a smile, He knelt down to be at eye level with your son,

“ it’s very nice to meet you Jamie!”

Your son quickly ran towards an embrace! Catching him off guard, he embraced his son back with such a strong yet delicate grip. His hand caressed the long hair on your son's head, as his eyes finally let go of the tears he’d been holding back. He let out soft sobs with a smile.

He was free!

You watched the embrace happen, as you yourself let out a few tears, but from all the tears you’d shed over the years. These tears of happiness were your favorite!

Tags:@hellsroomba @whoanubis @tarataz12 @would-die-for-bucky-barnes @eliwinchester-barnes @buckistan @iwannagotospaceforever @imyourscariestnightmare

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kylosgenesis · 3 years

Text

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA lately. For the last two months I’ve been trying to get a new job and I finally got my dream job, but my boyfriend of three years ended things and I’ve been in a state of sadness since.

Whenever I’m ready to come back to writing I promise I’ll finish Teardrops on fire.

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